A Patchy Tea-Party


Written by Septia.


“Ophelia, is that the tell-tale bubble and broil of flatulence nesting within thine buttocks?” The matriarch addressed her subject with a stern gaze. 
	Ophelia Looked up from her teacup, and placed it upon the assiette with her trunk. “Lady Bertha, do you think it so?” 
	“And I do not see a Jumbo anywhere near thine hind?” 
	The elephant gasped and hoisted a bell chiming it high above her head. “Jumbo, Jumbo I need a Jumbo here,” she called out, other pachyderms at the party called out as well, until an elephant wrapped in a pink headdress scurried to Ophelia's back. She wedged her snout underneath the bulk of a hind before Ophelia scrambled to slam her hind back on their face. -PPpdwwwntthd- The ground trembled in tune with a gurgle through the Pachyderm's intestines -Bhhrlgugugslap- that culminated in a roaring burble of fumes throttling their way out of the female's fanny and pelting the sorrowful Jumbo into the dirt, the flatulence lifting and clapping the hinds down like a pair of mallets tenderising a cutlet -BBgfrrroorspthths-. 
	“Phaa, much better,” Ophelia said and shuffled off the half buried female's head. “Off you trot, Jumbo.” 
	“Yees,” Linsephinesnickered nearby and loudly crunched through a crumpet, “bet there is another hind in need of relief somewhere~,” she mused and watched the pink dressed female waddle off, joining others of the same dress and title patrolling the great tea party. 
	“Mmyes,” Bertha mumbled as she watched her teacup like a hawk for the brew to complete, “the evening's brew may be dandelion, yet this hardly implies our chimney clouds to be, pha… aha~,” she mused in laughter as she finished stewing her tea, “dandy.” At the matriarch's glance the surrounding females at the table launched into a dignified guffaw. 
	“Ohoho, Oh I say Bertha, it is a joy to banter in leisure without being pestered by those uncouth males,” Linsephine mused. 
	Bertha slammed her cup on the table, fracturing the porcelain, after which she had a Jumbo clean up and bring her a new cup, “Do no, deign, to mention those barbarians. This, is a civilised event.” 
	“O-oh of course Bertha, so about the hold up,” Linsephine mused and slammed her hind on a Jumbo -Bpprrwwwerpprpth- unleashing a gale of smog that sent ripples down the wrinkled countenance. “Aaa, as I was saying-.” 


Across the green hills of the immaculate vistas, the front of a trunk rose up, curved at the end as a periscope, observing the tea party in the distance. “Ah yes, Reginald, all is transpiring as expected.” 
	“As expected, Alphons?” 
	“As expected mheys. We are to mmnf, a moment,” Alphons mumbled and ground his rear to the ground, smothering the lower-class male that had been having trouble getting past his parchment-dry ass cheeks -Crrpt-. “MMpha, yes, as I was saying.” 
	“You were indeed saying.” 
	“Mm quite.” 
	“About the plan?” 
	“Plan? Ooh yes, the plan, mm should be going smoothly, the females are in position and wouldn't suspect a thing.” 
	“What?” Reginald mumbled as he arched back with his trunk to shovel in a male flailing at his rear, the deep cobalt gray skin engulfed in his tattered ashen hams. 
	“The females.” 
	“Ah yes of course, the females, soon to be naught but fart fodder ain't it so?” 
	“That it be so, Reginald,” Alphons mumbled with a dour stare, as his hind whipped and whistled around a flutter of fresh, piping hot hind steam -Frrprprbbbrwprth-. “That it be so.” 
	˜] “And then…” 
	“Mm hmm.” 

	“And then I say to Vera, I say she could not pull off that tacky headwear even if her ears were half the size.” 
	“Oh hoho, scandalous, yet true,” Bertha mumbled as she sipped her tea. 
	“Most certainly,” Linsephine responded, “I am an honest cow, me, and it certain-oomph, mmmsh, certainly-mph…” Linsephine grumbled and looked back, noticing she was halfway down the buttocks of an elderly elephant. “Bother…” 
	“What is it, Linsephine?” Linsephine spoke with malice in her voice. 
	“Oh, t’is nothing, I will have to pardon myself from this mfmfogpsh… Soirée post haste.” 
	“Hff, a shame that,” Bertha mumbled as she looked over the biscuits on display, as her chatting partner's torso cleaved the mighty hind of a horny male, sinking with a crackle of bowel lube lathering a fair feminine hide -Frrrgglllrssh-. 
	“Phhsey, a shame that indeed, oughga,” the lady struggled as the pucker clamped and crawled over her shoulders to swamp over her face. “This certainly ain't a fine how do you d-mmpggwhpg gmpwgh-“ Her Snide complaint was muffled into a grumble out her trunk as the meat aperture collapsed over her face, engulfing the lady's head in thick buns, trawling her trunk into its gape and disappearing between the cheeks -Cllptt- A rumble and broil roused in the cheeks before… -PPfrrrpwppfpfpfpfttht- a salvo of smog flushed free from the brim and doused the table in its fog. 
	“Pheck, do not interrupt the rest of our get together with your departure, Linsephine, you are still of the fairer gender.” She sipped her tea and let the flavors mingle on her pallet as a trumpeting orchestra slowly built around her, males invading ass first on their counterparts, smothering and engulfing them in tons of gluttonous glutes. 
	“M-miss Bertha.” Ophelia called out, squirming as the clapping brim of a rectum wolfed down her midsection. 
	“Inner voices, dear, we are sharing company.” 
	“B-but But, b-butt.” Ophelia wheezed out as she was hauled back -Shhrllrptsu- to the crinkle and smear of the hind wolfing her down. Her snout instinctively reaching out to wrap around the table leg, keeping her in place as the gray hind wormed its way over her… 
	-Swwtch- A swat from Bertha's hoof left the trunk unstable, the weight resting on her. “Ophelia, take thy leave if thy must, but do not, deign, to grant these ruffians even a hint of your dutiful attention.” Bertha Declared before unleashing the grasp, the weakened trunk slopping free of its hold and snapped back into the tension from behind, the elephant's scream muted as she slammed back into the liquid drums of fat “Heeeel-.” -thhwwdlllootuch- -Dnwnngs-. 
	-Shhrlpt- -Pprbbrhrhpt- A female vanished behind famished fannies and rejoined the tea party as a cloud of fetid fumes, seat after seat vanishing under the plunges of pachyderm puckers -Thhdldld- -Shhcrrllrspth- -PPFrrrrpprrrffth-. 
	Bertha would not acknowledge them, she had planned this tea party for too long to be bothered by-. -Bbbrrrrfffffstt- a Thick, feminine bout of fumes unleashed beside her, watching as a squirming hind was being squeezed and kneaded down a male's crack. “Good heavens,” Bertha burst out, and then gave the sandwiched female hind a swat -Twwwhclp- “Bellinda, it is uncouth for a lady to pass gas without a Jumbo to absorb the fumes, where are your manners?” she asked the pucker as it gobbled up the jiggling bales of booty and belched out a rippling storm of smog that had Bertha's ears flap back like hoisted flagpoles -BBbrrrfppprrrrrpth-.


“Is that a hint of peppermint? I do declare, this tea is quite splendid.” Bertha conversed with herself as the Males converged. She could even feel the pull on her own hind, a greasy, barbaric patch of flesh attempting to conquer hers. Muting her grunts as the hind shuffled over her frame. “MMH, mgpsgah, perhaps a, mm, touch spicy…” The dignified lady defied the male's presence even as the ass fitted over her tough hide, warping to envelop her protruding abdomen and encircling her up to her neck like a cocoon of humidity. “Mmfsah…,” Bertha groaned as the pucker clenched around her neck like a choke collar. “MGgngha… Hfffffn,” she inhaled with her trunk straightened, “Alright, that is it, good sirs, there is a limit to how one can breach a sophisticated soirée, and you have trampled right ove-. Mmmonfpppghs.” -Shhrlrlptp- The pucker clenched over Bertha's face in a contorted bulb, and retracted to draw her the last of her wriggling outline into the male's depths, puttering away with the rest of his catches. -Fppprrfth-. 


~ 1 ~


“Gentlemen, Operation Crash-the-Tea-Party is a rrrrousing success,” he declared with his turunk held high and his tail followed suit as his statement punctuated with a blare of concentrated elephant funk -PHhhhwbbrbrrrwlwpth- which set his tail whipping and flapping all over under the thrust of fumes. 
	The other males followed suit with their trunks in the air, trumpeting to their victory over the haughty females from both ends in a cavalcade of humid horn blows and moist, greasy broils of bowel exhaust -BBrprppppght- BBrfffpwpfplrth- PPfrrrrpth- Frrrllrprth- PPphhrroooooorpth-. 
	Alphons bowed to the males. “And it is with this victory which we… which,” -phhrrbbprht,” which we… mmfmpph, those females…,” he mumbled and slumped back on his rear, hind grinding and kneading into the dirt to form a pair of craters, dust and dirt whipped aside as his rear unleashed the pent of smog from churning down the females -Bbrprpppgltptah- -BBorooorlrpth-. “Mmpa females sure made some… fatty fmsma, juicy fart batter…” he mumbled. 
	The rest of the males soon devolved into a throttle of degeneracy, satisfying themselves and their stuffed asses and guts, grinding out pleasure as they vented the fermented smog of the once “fairer” sex. -Fbbrrpppth- -Fllrprhthhfb- The air saturated with the warmth of revelling debauchery, in a cloud of pickled pachyderm perspiration.