hello this is my first story and it will be slightly dark but I figured I need to put something on fa.
so here you go tell me if you like it and tell me how to critique it.

the beginning of the old world

as a snow leopard says you're interesting such interesting dreams
you're pretty old you have  
visions of the past a past before I and many of my kind 
so tell me am I allowed to observe your dreams 
the human with brown hair agrees by nodding but is confused by what she says

as the dream starts to form

as with a whip sand starts to form around their feet is it sarts to the cover the ground 
send nearly everywhere around them

as a human calls out to brown hair you doing fine 
brown hair says yeah let's keep moving we need to move the churches 
their the only salvation we have left

well hopefully we'll have a good time after all i am your partner and crime 
some chuckling heard
in all seriousness you doing well as he says
as the browned hair human says yes
well then I heard the Church of symbols should be our next Target
I heard they have something to help us survive this mess
 but you'll be on your own afterwards but that's okay right 
as the browned hair human says yes

to think there's a war going on between Magic and Tech 
can't they just make up and fix this world
 we barely survived several Raider attacks on top of that.
but hopefully will be fine
as the browned hair human says yes but the simple life people argue people fight people die
well whatever let's just go there
has he says with a smile

as we see a cut with in the dream focusing on 
what would look like a future event
oh if only They did offer salvation  
not each church is the same 
I'm sorry I hurt you and hurt everyone here 
it was a cover-up experiment I can't speak anymore
it burns my throat if i try to speak
 it seems like fire 
fire burns as if it would kill me but it doesn't
I'm not going to press my luck

and all these symbols on my body what were they trying to get 
pentagram Stars crosses pluses squares circles leaves
what the hell is going on
I do feel much stronger
I also feel hungrier dammit it

did they make me in some sort of monster
I killed them all everyone in this church
I have to be alone and investigate some new places
I feel like I'm going to faints on the ground

but from the experiment as we see in the dream
a giant column a black light shoot in the sky 
sending off a beacon for people to find him 
as one happens to be near the area 
someone who also is living neutral

as a human with black hair picks up this one
and simply says to himself well I think he may need medical 
right wife as the wife is a cheetah slightly fat says
yes I believe he does my dearest husband 
and my dearest King smiles and laugh you're always such a flirt

yes hopefully we'll get to have some fun later tonight
or at least play games with the kids
hopefully will be having a good time and wait what looks embarrassed 
she says we're almost there you silly goofball
I'm not a goofball i remember this world only had humans 
before you came 
as he looks depressed yeah that's the truth sadly 

well turn that frown upside down you have me at least 
as he smiles yes and we'll have a long rule 
that's good to know honey 
 aren't you in your thirties why are  we talking  about age 
isn't tomorrow your birthday I think so 
wouldn't you like a birthday gift 
blushes severely

end of part one