“We got this, man.” 

Cielan looked into his boyfriend’s golden eyes and smiled. The cardinal’s quick breathing and furled brow betrayed his fear, but Cielan knew things would be fine. His memory of Nev slumped over in his chair, begging him to not take his son away, kept replaying in his head. Sad as it was, it was also reassuring. There’s no way Nev would want to hurt Lairo.

“Yeah… yeah,” Lairo said, his voice breathy and shaky.

Two pairs of talons clicked as the birds crept down the stairs. At the bottom, Cielan poked his head around the corner and locked eyes with the smiling grizzly bear sitting in her chair.

“You wanted to see us?”

“Where’s Lairo, dear?”

Lairo inched around the corner, remaining partially behind Cielan, using him as cover.

“Your father wants you to come home, lad.”

“No.”

Cielan whipped his head around and looked at his boyfriend, who avoided eye contact. “What do you mean? See, he’s not kicking you out.”

“I’m scared. I don’t want to be there with him. Not alone, anyway…” Lairo said, appearing to shrink with each word.

Mrs. Breling shifted in her chair. “Mercy, child… why do you fear your father so much?”

Lairo opened and closed his beak a few times, producing only grunts.

Mrs. Breling stood up, wobbling slightly as her old muscles pushed her large body off the chair. She moved slowly toward Cielan, who stepped aside, exposing the cowering cardinal. “My boy…” she said, her voice sombre, “The way he sounded on the phone… I’ve heard sadness like that in his voice only once before.”

Lairo looked at the ground. “Let me guess…”

“He told me that when Saressa passed away, half of his world had gone black. But he had to stay strong so that the other half could shine brightly.”

Lairo shook his head. “That was ten years ago.”

“And ten minutes ago.”

The cardinal’s head craned up, and he stared at the bear. “I… huh?”

“I spoke to him at her funeral. It was the only time I’ve heard him curse God. But he said that as long as he still had his son, there’d still be light in his life.” Mrs. Breling turned and stepped toward the window. “But now… he’s terrified that it’s all gone dark.”

“Lai…” Cielan said, squeezing the cardinal’s hand. “He loves you.”

Tears formed in the corners of Lairo’s eyes. “T-then why was he such a jerk? Why couldn’t he accept me?”

Mrs. Breling put her hand on her chin. “He sounded like he was in shock, even as I spoke to him. I cannot imagine how he felt in the moment.”

“Well—”

“I’m not making excuses, mind. But sometimes, when we lose control of our emotions, we say or do things we later regret.”

Lairo groaned. “Still…”

Mrs. Breling turned around. “Your father has always dreamt of having grandchildren, lad.”

“Yeah… I’m aware,” Lairo said, his voice flat and weary.

“And I know Cielan looks like a girl, but—”

“Hey, what?!” Cielan said, feeling like he was sucker punched. 

The bear laughed. “Sorry. Levity isn’t my strong suit.”

Cielan looked at Lairo, who was covering his beak with his hand. Hints of a smile crept in at the sides of his face. Okay, maybe it was a little funny.

Lairo sighed. “I guess said some pretty mean things to him too, didn’t I…” 

“Well, maybe you both have something to apologize for. Maybe I do, too,” Cielan said.

The cardinal gasped. “No! You didn’t do anything wrong!”

Cielan shook his head. “Well… maybe this would have been easier if we had been honest from the start.”

Mrs. Breling cleared her throat. “Perhaps this conversation should be had with the person who can answer these questions.”

Lairo sighed, walked into the living room, sat on the couch, and buried his head in his hands. 

Cielan followed, sitting next to him. “We gotta do this, Lai…”

The cardinal looked up at Mrs. Breling. “I… I’d be more comfortable doing it over here.”

“Of course, dear. Shall I invite him over?”

Lairo closed his eyes. After a pause, he nodded his head. “Yeah. Okay.”

The grizzly bear smiled and walked back to her chair. As she began dialing, Cielan took Lairo’s hand and smiled at him. The cardinal placed his hand on top of the blue jay’s, and they leaned against each other as Mrs. Breling spoke on the phone.

“I’ll be here with you this time,” Cielan said, rubbing his head against Lairo’s.

Lairo cooed, but then groaned. “I feel weird doing this with someone else in the room…”

Cielan looked over at Mrs. Breling, who was looking out the window while she spoke into the handset. He leaned away and let go of Lairo’s hand, but the cardinal didn’t let go of his.

“I didn’t say I wanted to stop,” he said, leaning back into the blue jay.

Cielan closed his eyes and let his body fall against Lairo’s. As Mrs. Breling spoke, he retreated into his own thoughts. He had spent so much time worrying about his boyfriend that he didn’t realize that he was scared too. He knew Nev’s intentions weren’t malicious, but the situation was still volatile. Could they actually do this?

“Boys?”

The birds looked up at Mrs. Breling, who had hung up the phone.

“He’s driving over now. Should just be a minute or two.”

“What did he say?” Cielan asked.

“Nothing new. Just that he was on his way over.”

Lairo sighed, and Cielan squeezed his hand. The group sat quietly until a soft rumbling came through the window. The grizzly bear’s ears perked up, and she turned to look outside. 

“Ah, Nev’s here,” she said. 

Cielan looked at Lairo, who took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The sound of a car door closing—slamming?—met their ears, then silence, then a few slow knocks on the front door.

“Come in, Nev,” Mrs. Breling said, her powerful voice rattling across the house.

The door opened slowly as a red-feathered arm pushed it open, before the tall, aging cardinal stepped into the house. His neck craned toward his son, and he took a deep breath.

“Well, don’t stand out there, Nev. Come and take a seat,” Mrs. Breling said, smiling and gesturing to a chair next to her.

Nev nodded and plodded over to the chair. Cielan felt there was still a clear lack of grace and energy to his posture as he sat down. The room went quiet again, everyone seemingly waiting for someone else to start talking. Cielan opened his mouth, but his soft voice was overpowered as soon as the first sound came out.

“Lairo… I’m sorry…” Nev said, voice cracking as though he had been crying. After Lairo didn’t respond, Nev spoke again. “Please, forgive me.”

Cielan nudged his boyfriend, who opened his mouth, but no words came out. “Um… I’m sorry, too,” the blue jay said.

Nev’s eyes shifted to Cielan for a moment before moving back to his son. Something about that look made the blue jay’s feathers prickle. He didn’t feel threatened, but he couldn’t help but feel like Nev cared only about Lairo’s opinion right now.

“Do you hate me, Lairo?”

“Dad, I…” the cardinal’s voice faded out. He closed his eyes and bowed his head. “I just don’t want to be scared anymore…”

Nev leaned back. “Of what?”

“Y-you.”

“You… you don’t think I’d hurt you, do you?” Nev’s voice was soft, comforting almost, but Cielan could hear the pain behind those words.

“You already did… a lot…”

Nev rubbed his forehead. “I never meant to, Lairo. I’m so sorry.”

“Then why would you say all that crap at church?”

“I… I was ignorant.”

Mrs. Breling scratched her chin. “Lad, you know your father stopped saying those things long ago, right?”

Lairo crossed his arms, tucking his hands under his armpits. “Did he apologize? He never apologized to me.”

“I didn’t know I needed to… that’s why I’m here now.”

“Then why did you get so upset earlier?”

“U-uh, well, I heard you, uh, and, well,” Nev cleared his throat, but didn’t continue.

Lairo recoiled and covered his face. “Oh. Right.”

Cielan looked over at Mrs. Breling, who raised her eyebrows. He wished the couch would swallow him.

The group sat wordlessly. Lairo, pushing back into the couch, eyes closed. Nev, looking away, rubbing his eyes. Mrs. Breling, resting her elbow on the chair’s armrest, the faintest hint of a smirk on the corner of her mouth. And Cielan, who had a burning urge to say something—anything—but what could he say that wouldn’t make it worse?

Then the front door opened. Everyone’s head swung toward it, and Raksha hopped into the room, pausing mid-stride as she bounded for the stairs.

“Uh…” she said, scanning the living room. “Did church get moved to”—her eyes landed on the lovebirds, and she squinted at them—”what… is going on here?”

“Raksha, could you leave us for a little while?” Mrs. Breling said.

“No, really. What are you all doing?”

“It’s a little sensitive, dear.”

The panther cocked her head, then shrugged. “Okay, fine.” Her eyes locked on Cielan. “But you are telling me everything later, fledgeling,” she said before she disappeared up the stairs.

Cielan rolled his eyes. Did she really have to call him that in front of everyone? Nevertheless, the tension in the room seemed to have dissipated. Nev and Lairo had shifted back into a normal posture, and Mrs. Breling leaned back in her chair.

“Well, whatever happened is in the past now,” she said. “Perhaps we should start fresh.”

Another silence hung in the air before Lairo spoke up. “Dad… do you accept me?”

Nev took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling. “I will always love you, no matter—”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“Lairo, let me finish, please.”

The younger cardinal leaned against Cielan as he took his hand. Nev’s eyes flicked down to their clasped fingers before he looked back at his son.

“The day you were born was the greatest day of my life. Your mother was so exhausted, but we were so excited to watch you grow as we grew old together…”

Lairo shifted next to Cielan. The blue jay squeezed his hand, and Lairo squeezed back.

“God giveth and God taketh away, I suppose. But I still had you. We were hurting and grieving, but we still had each other.” Nev looked toward the window. “Or so I thought…”

Lairo closed his eyes. “Dad, I…”

“Time heals all wounds, so they say. I threw myself into my work, and slowly, I got a little better. But you never seemed to. You always seemed so sad, just locking yourself away in your room day and night. At first I thought it was grief, then teenage angst, but I couldn’t help but feel like I was failing…”

“Dad, you didn’t—”

“Lairo, be honest with me. You would not have screamed at me like you did this morning if I hadn’t let you down. Please, I want to understand you. I… need to understand you. Where did I go wrong?” 

There was a shakiness to Nev’s voice that turned Cielan’s stomach. Vulnerability poured off every word. The blue jay looked over at his boyfriend, whose mouth was opening and closing slowly.

“Do… do you remember Sandy?” Lairo said, after several failed starts.

Nev furled his brow and turned his head. “Oh, that lamb boy? A schoolmate, right?”

Lairo sighed. “Yes, him, but no, he wasn’t from school. He was Lucette’s son.”

“Luce… oh, right! She worked with your mother. Yes, I remember now. What about him?”

Lairo looked at Cielan. “I, uh, had a crush on him.”

Cielan turned his head and gave a lopsided grin as Nev reeled.

“But you were, what, eight, nine years old?” The older cardinal said, shaking his head. “Boys don’t have crushes on anyone at that age!”

“Well, I did! I wanted to marry him!”

Cielan’s heart fluttered at the word. Intrusive thoughts of Lairo standing at the altar, wearing a well-fitted white suit ran through his mind. He blinked hard, trying to focus on the bird next to him, not the bird in his fantasies.

“But when mom died… I never saw him again…”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Nev asked. “We easily could have got in touch.”

“I don’t know… I guess I was just too sad.” Lairo leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees, cradling his chin in his hands. “Then I went to church with you, and I heard you talking about how it’s evil for men to marry men, and—”

Nev groaned and pushed his fingers into his eyelids.

“—I was a boy who wanted to marry a boy! And you were saying that I was evil for it?”

“I was grieving, Lairo. I—”

“Grief doesn’t make you believe awful things!” Lairo said, sitting up and raising his voice. 

Cielan jumped at the outburst. “It’s okay, Lai…”

“I thought… why would God make me like boys if it was evil? Why didn’t He love me? And if you loved God so much, and if God didn’t love me, that must have meant you didn’t love me either.”

Nev slid his fingers down his face and sat back. The room was still except for the gentle breeze blowing through the open window.

Lairo shook his head. “I was so lonely.”

The word punched through Cielan like a bullet. Lonely. The word that defined his entire life after his family died. The word that followed him around every waking moment. The word he… no longer related to? 

“But I’m not lonely anymore, dad,” he said, his voice shaking, barely louder than a whisper. “And I’m scared you’re going to take that away from me.”

Cielan put his other hand atop Lairo’s. “I won’t let anyone do that,” he said, looking at Nev, whose hand formed a fist as it slid off his chin and onto the armrest.

After a deep exhale, the older cardinal opened his hand and drummed his fingers on the chair while returning the blue jay’s gaze. “I will admit, I did suspect this. When he talks about you, Cielan, I see a joy in his eyes that I haven’t seen since he was a child. A joy for life. A joy for you.”

Cielan’s beak opened to a smile. “His eyes are beautiful… aren’t they?”

Lairo groaned, but his father smiled and nodded.

“He would light up any room he went into. I was so proud.” His smile faded as he looked at the floor. “I don’t know what to think about all this. I have never understood why some people love their own gender. But right now, I want nothing more than for my son to be happy.” He looked at Lairo, then at Cielan, then back at Lairo. “And you’re happy together, so, yes, I do accept you.” 

Cielan looked at Lairo, whose face was quivering. “Told ya.”

“Oh, shush,” Lairo said as he stood up and walked over to Nev. He leaned forward, then fell into his father, wrapping his arms around him as he started sobbing.

“Do you forgive me, Lairo?”

“Yes, dad… I do.”

“Thank God,” Nev said as he hugged the smaller cardinal. “I guess this means I won’t be having grandchildren any time soon…”

“Dad…”

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” Nev said, his voice deep and soothing. 

As the two cardinals embraced, a clap rang out from the side of the room.

“Well, I think that settles it!” Mrs. Breling said, her voice upbeat and cheerful. “Who’s hungry?”

“I appreciate the offer, Judith,” Nev said, releasing his son and straightening his suit. “But I was supposed to be at the chapel downtown an hour ago.”

“Oh, right,” Lairo said, rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry about that.”

“No, they’ll understand. Family comes first, always. Anyway… I’m still processing this, but I feel better than I have in a long time. I’m very grateful.” He stood up and turned to the grizzly bear. “Thank you, Judith.”

“Any time, Nev.”

The tall cardinal looked down at his son and smiled. “Well, I did tell them I had to cancel today, so I think they’ll be pleasantly surprised when I show up. I’ll see you when I get home, okay?” He looked at Cielan. “Probably you too, right?”

Cielan chuckled. “Probably.”

“Take care, everyone.” Standing at his full height, Nev waved and walked out of the house. A moment later, the rumble of his car’s engine filled the room, then faded into the distance.

“Lunch offer still stands, boys.”

Cielan nodded at Mrs. Breling, and the three shared a wonderful meal. It was their usual fare of assorted nuts and fruit, but it tasted so much sweeter today. As Lairo and Mrs. Breling chatted, Cielan’s mind wandered back to the word “lonely.” He remembered how he felt the night he snuck out to that seedy bar. The way every bit of his body yearned to be touched, to be held, to be loved. The crushing despair of not knowing whether he’d ever find someone who wanted him. Wishing every day that he could just be ‘normal,’ so he could meet a sweet girl, maybe have some nice kids. And he realized that he hadn’t had those thoughts ever since meeting Lairo.

The cardinal was the last to finish his food. “Thanks, Mrs. Breling… that was delicious.”

“Of course, dear. You’re welcome to a meal any time.”

Lairo smiled. “And… thanks again for talking to my dad. It means the world, really.”

“It was my pleasure, Lairo.”

The cardinal turned to Cielan. “Wanna go back to my place, then?”

Cielan stood up and collected the plates from the table. “Let me just wash—”

“Goodness, Cielan,” Mrs. Breling said, shaking her head. “I can take care of these. Go along with Lairo.”

“You sure?”

Mrs. Breling sighed. “Yes, dear. You are not going to waste your youth washing dishes.”

Cielan set the plates next to the kitchen sink. “Thanks, Mrs. Breling. For everything.”

“Everyone is doting on me today!” the grizzly bear said. “Makes me feel young again. Just be back before I’m in bed, understand?” 

“Of course! Thank you! See you later!”

“Bye!” Lairo said, and the two birds left the house and walked into the warm spring afternoon. Rays of sun pierced through the cloud covered sky, lighting up their faces.

Cielan put his hand on his brow to block the light, but shot his gaze downward as he felt a squeeze on his other hand. He looked over at Lairo, who was smiling and looking down at their interlocked fingers. “Lai… you sure?”

Lairo looked toward the sky, his other hand also blocking the sun. “I… don’t know. But I want to. Is that alright?”

Cielan squeezed back. “Of course it is.”

They walked, hand in hand, down the street, toward Lairo’s home. The whole town could see them, but in the moment, Cielan didn’t care. Let them watch. Let them stare. Let them know they’re in love.

As they neared Lairo’s house, the cardinal began to speed up, then, when they reached the driveway, he broke into a run, dragging Cielan along.

“Whoa, hey!” the blue jay said, his legs struggling to keep up with the sprinting cardinal.

“Sorry! I just can’t wait anymore,” Lairo said.

“For what?” Cielan asked as the cardinal shoved open the door and pulled him inside.

“This,” Lairo said, swinging the door shut with his trailing leg, then pushing Cielan against it and pulling him into a deep kiss.

Cielan grunted as his back bounced off the raised mullion in the middle of the door, but the shot of adrenaline from his boyfriend’s beak pushing into his dulled the pain immediately. A red-feathered leg wrapped around his thigh as Lairo leaned into Cielan, and the blue jay put a hand around his waist and another on his cheek, rubbing the cardinal. Their tongues lashed together as they pressed their bodies into each other. 

After a little more kissing, Lairo gasped and pulled back, then put his hands over his beak. “Oh god, sorry. I lost it a little bit there.”

Cielan rubbed his back, then looked at the mullion protruding from the front door. “Ow.”

“Ow?” Lairo said, his eyes widening. He looked around Cielan and at the door. “Oh, fuck, I pushed you right into that, didn’t I?” He pulled Cielan away from the door. “I’m sorry!” 

“No, no,” Cielan said, rubbing the cardinal’s crown. “It was worth it.”

“I should have been more careful! I—” Lairo’s voice disappeared into Cielan’s mouth as the blue jay pulled the cardinal against his chest and planted a deep kiss. Cielan slid his hand up and down Lairo’s back as their torsos pushed into each other. A pressure grew in his groin, both from his own hardening cock against his pants, and from Lairo’s own length pushing into him. He broke off the kiss and stepped back. “We’re both hard again…”

Lairo put his hands behind his back and smiled. “Well, yeah… how could I not get hard doing  that?”

“Let’s go to your room.”

Lairo giggled, and the two walked around the corner, down the hall, and into the cardinal’s bedroom. Lairo threw himself onto the bed and motioned for Cielan to join him, and the blue jay flopped next to him.

“Hmm, maybe I should do something about this,” Lairo said, rubbing Cielan’s groin.

The blue jay smirked and pulled his pants down, his semi-erect penis flopping onto his torso. When Lairo grabbed it and began licking, however, Cielan gasped and turned away. “Sorry… wow, it’s still so sensitive.”

“That’s alright… do you… wanna try on me?” Lairo said, pulling his cock out of his pants and shaking it.

Cielan leaned over and dragged his tongue from the base of Lairo’s penis to the tip. The cardinal groaned and writhed on the bed, and Cielan pulled back.

“No, no, don’t stop,” Lairo said, gently guiding his boyfriend’s head back down.

As Cielan sucked off the cardinal, something was bothering him. A tickle in the back of his mind, repressed but ever present, threatening to break out. Every time he pondered Lairo’s loneliness, he thought of his own, and how it drove him to his foolish encounter at the bar, and that gruff buck who took his virginity. He knew it didn’t really matter, but part of him still felt… befouled. Spoiled. He wanted to be fully dedicated to Lairo, and as long as he felt like part of him wasn’t…

“Hey, Lai…? I wanna try something.”

Lairo looked at Cielan and peeped.

“Can… can you fuck me?”

Lairo’s eyes popped open. “Wait, like… you wanna bottom? I, uh—”

Cielan nodded. “We haven’t tried that yet, and I… uh.” His throat closed up and he looked away. Should he tell him? Would Lairo be angry at him? His stomach twisted with doubt as he searched for the words.

“What’s wrong?”

The blue jay looked back at Lairo and his golden eyes. No, he had to be honest with him, no matter what. He took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling.

“Um… before I met you, I actually, well.” He cleared his throat and put his hands on his crest. “Damn it…”

Lairo sat up and leaned over his boyfriend. “Cielan? Is everything okay?”

The words poured out of Cielan’s mouth. “I went to some shitty bar and met some asshole and he fucked me and I let him do it but I didn’t like it and I didn’t stop him and I was stupid and I’m pissed off at myself and I feel like shit that I didn’t tell you and I—”

“Cielan…” Lairo said, rubbing his hand on the blue jay’s chest. “So I wasn’t your first?”

The blue jay slid his hands down to his eyes. “I tried to tell myself that it didn’t count… that you were my first in every way that mattered, but…” his voice lowered to a whisper. “No, you weren’t.”

Lairo rolled onto his side and put his head on Cielan’s chest, but didn’t say anything.

“You were the first I made love to…” Cielan said, trying to make it better. He had no idea what Lairo was thinking. It was a jolt every time he thought he upset Lairo, and this felt like he was holding an electric fence. Then he heard a sniffle from the cardinal, and panic welled in his chest. It was going so well, and then he had to open his big mouth. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Lairo whimpered. “How could he do that to you?”

The tempest in Cielan’s heart stilled for a moment. “What do you mean?”

“You are the most wonderful, incredible, perfect person I have ever met and he just… hurt you like that?”

“I…” Cielan shook his head. “You’re not mad at me?”

“No!” Lairo said, his voice rumbling through Cielan’s chest. “I’m mad at that guy! How could anyone do that to you?”

Cielan exhaled, then took a deep gulp of air. Tension drained from every muscle as he realized he hadn’t completely blown it, and he started laughing.

“W-what’s so funny?” Lairo said, sitting up and wiping his eyes.

“Holy shit. I thought you were going to be pissed off at me.”

“No! I could never, ever be mad at you over something like that!”

Cielan sighed. “Even though I wasn’t honest with you? You can still trust me?”

“I mean, I just spent a whole decade keeping a big secret from my father…”

“Yeah… yeah, I guess that’s true.” Cielan pushed himself upright and scooted next to the cardinal. “The first time we had sex, I was so scared of hurting you like he hurt me.”

Lairo grabbed Cielan’s arm and leaned against him. “You didn’t hurt me. You’ve never hurt me.”

“Yeah… you really enjoy getting fucked, huh?”

The cardinal giggled and covered his face. “You don’t need to put it like that…”

Cielan rested his head against Lairo’s. “The thing is… as much as that sucked, I thought that maybe with the right person, I would enjoy it. And, well…”

“I’ve… never really thought of being a top. But… I’m willing to try with you.” 

Cielan pecked Lairo, then rolled onto his stomach. “Can you get these off me?” 

Lairo leaned over, grabbed the top of his boyfriend’s pants, and slowly pulled them down. Cielan sighed, feeling the band sliding against his glutes, then the top of his thighs, before coming to a rest around his knees.

“Okay, here goes…” Lairo said as he put his penis against Cielan’s hole and began to push. A moment later, however, he hopped off the bed. “Lube would probably help.”

Cielan giggled. “Not the worst idea.”

A few moments later, Lairo returned to the bed, and Cielan felt the pressure again.

“Alright… you ready?” the cardinal asked.

Cielan hummed in affirmation, then the pressure increased, until he felt Lairo slide in.

“Am I doing it right? This is kinda weird.”

“Yeah… keep going,” Cielan said, relaxing his whole body. Memories of his time with the buck tried to force their way to the front of his mind, but they were repelled by his complete trust in the cardinal. The physical sensation was nice, but feeling safe while being so vulnerable felt greater than any bodily pleasure.

When the cardinal’s hips met Cielan’s, he exhaled loudly. “Gotta remember to breathe… does it hurt?”

“Not at all… keep going.” 

Lairo did so, starting slowly and gradually speeding up. Once he reached a steady pace, his thrusts became uneven and jerky. Even with the cardinal’s inexperience, however, Cielan felt so much better than he did with the deer. There was no pain. The feeling of his prostate being struck by his boyfriend’s cock was wonderful, but just as he was getting into it, Lairo’s penis slipped out.

“Oops…” Lairo said. “Sorry, I suck at this.”

Cielan giggled. “It’s okay, Lai. Just take your time.”

Lairo pushed his penis back into his boyfriend and started thrusting again. At first, he seemed to be finding a rhythm, but not long after, he slipped out once more. “Man… this is so embarrassing…” he said, groaning.

Cielan rolled over onto his back and smiled. When they made eye contact, Lairo quickly looked away. 

“It’s fine, Lai! Hey, I have an idea.” He raised his legs. “Maybe this will work better for you.”

“You sure?” Lairo said, his voice flat. “I don’t wanna disappoint you…”

Cielan scooted closer to Lairo and wrapped his legs around his waist. “Come here and give me a kiss.”

Lairo looked back down at his boyfriend and smiled. “Alright…” he said as he lined his penis up with Cielan’s anus and leaned forward, putting his hands next to the blue jay’s sides. 

Cielan reached up and wrapped his arms around Lairo’s torso, and the cardinal began to thrust again. As Lairo bottomed out, the blue jay sat up slightly and kissed his boyfriend. They both moaned as their tongues twisted around each other, and Lairo’s thrusting, limited by the blue and white legs wrapped around his hips, became steadier. After a few minutes of kissing and fucking, Lairo pulled his head back, panting.

“Oh man… it’s so much easier when… all you need to do is lie there,” he said as he stopped thrusting.

Cielan laughed. “Getting tired already?”

“My legs are sore,” Lairo said, his breathing becoming heavy.

“Just take it slow… no need to rush.”

“Yeah… alright.” As Lairo started thrusting again, he fell forward, resting his chest on the blue jay. As they pressed into each other, they could feel each other’s hearts beating as they made love. 

“Just like that,” Cielan said as his passage was opened up by the cardinal’s cock. Lairo’s penis wasn’t very big—a little smaller than his own, which was nothing impressive to begin with—but it didn’t need to be. Being treated gently and with love made all the difference in the world. He wasn’t afraid. He wasn’t thinking about escaping. He was just thinking about holding his perfect cardinal boyfriend as close as he could and never letting go. 

Without stopping his thrusting, Lairo pushed himself up just enough to gaze at Cielan.

Cielan smiled and stared back into his boyfriend’s resplendent eyes, and his heart turned to mush again. “I love you.” It was all he could say. It was all he could think. 

“I love you too, Cielan…” Lairo said, before leaning forward and kissing the blue jay again. 

The two shared a long, delicate kiss as Lairo’s hips rocked back and forth, his cock dragging up and down Cielan’s walls. The blue jay gasped and moaned into his boyfriend’s mouth every time their hips met, and their slow, passionate love making continued until Lairo’s thrusting sped up, then grew uneven again.

“Legs hurt? You can—”

“N-no,” Lairo said, his face scrunched up. “I think I’m… I think… ah!” 

Cielan felt a twitching deep inside of him as his boyfriend slammed in one last time. He squeezed Lairo’s torso and held him close as the cardinal breathed and groaned into his ear. Pleasure coursed through Cielan. The physical sensation was nice, but the emotions threatened to overwhelm him. He was being claimed by the one person he never wanted to be without. Whatever remained of his misbegotten hookup was being washed away. He squealed as the cock jumped inside of him, every pulse proof of the cardinal’s love, and when the twitching finally stopped, a sense of deep calm washed over his body. There was no other place he’d rather be than right here.

“Ah… damn…” Lairo said, his chest heaving up and down against the blue jay’s.

“Wow… that was nice…”

“I think… I think I like being a bottom more. Topping is too much work.”

Cielan laughed. “If you ever wanted to do it again, I wouldn’t mind…”

“Maybe I’ll just use my toys on you instead. They’re probably better—”

“It was great because it was you, Lai.”

Lairo groaned and laughed at the same time. “Alright, alright… thanks, Cielan.” A moment later, he added, “that was quite a noise, by the way.”

Cielan snorted. “You made me do it.”

They giggled and cuddled a little while longer, then Lairo pulled out. “Should probably get cleaned up.”

After a quick rinse in the shower, the two slightly damp birds found themselves back on Lairo’s bed, and the cardinal reached over and grabbed a game controller.

“Wanna play something?” Lairo asked.

Cielan beamed at his boyfriend. “Sure!”

The two birds spent the rest of the afternoon like they always did: playing games, watching shows, and joking together. As the hours passed and the light faded from the sky, there was a knock at Lairo’s door.

“Dad? I didn’t even hear you come home.”

“Can I come in?” Nev asked.

Lairo looked at Cielan, who shrugged and nodded, before hopping over and throwing open the door. Nev peeked around his son at Cielan and smiled.

“Thought so. You two doing alright?”

“Yes, Nev. How did it go?” Cielan asked.

“I’d say it went pretty well, thank you. Got a lot done, so I’m satisfied.” Nev looked back at Lairo. “Well, uh, I’ll leave you to your games now. Let me know if you need something.”

“Thanks, dad.”

There was a warmth to Lairo’s voice that Cielan picked out immediately. He was often terse when talking to his father, as if trying to keep his distance. To hear him sound so relaxed filled the corvid’s heart with joy. It was going to be okay. It was really going to be okay.

More hours passed as the two did what best friends did. Between rounds of their game, Cielan caught a glimpse of the alarm clock and saw that it was quarter to ten. “Oh, shit. It’s so late. I gotta get back before Mrs. Breling eats me.”

Lairo whined and grabbed Cielan’s arm. “I don’t want you to go…”

“I gotta.”

“Do you?”

Cielan cocked his head and the gears started turning. He had never slept over, but that was mainly because he had nowhere to sleep. There wasn’t a couch in the living room, so the only alternative would have been Lairo’s bed. And of course, that wasn’t going to work. But now…?

“Would your dad be okay with me staying over?”

Lairo leapt off the bed with a speed that took Cielan by surprise. “I’ll go ask!” he said as he bolted out of his room.

Cielan’s stomach tensed up as he waited for Lairo to come back. He had never really thought of it before, but the idea of falling asleep with his boyfriend in his arms made him feel like he was on fire. It just felt right. Like it was one of the most romantic things you could do. He closed his eyes and fell back on the bed, but jolted upright as Lairo flew back into the room.

“He’s cool with it! Just said ‘no funny business.’ If only he knew…” Lairo said, smirking.

Cielan laughed. “I should tell Mrs. Breling. Can I borrow your phone for a sec?”

Lairo tossed his phone to Cielan, who stared at it for a few seconds.

“Um… how do I use this?” He looked up at Lairo. “I don’t even know Mrs. Breling’s number.”

Lairo giggled. “I don’t know her number, either. Let me go ask dad.” The cardinal took his phone back and disappeared into the hallway.

Cielan spread out on Lairo’s bed, letting himself sink into the soft mattress. It reminded him of his childhood bed. When his family was still alive. The grief had long since turned to melancholy, but he knew there would be a wound on his soul that would never fully heal. But perhaps now, he had an opportunity to start again, with a new family, with people who truly cared for him. Maybe he was just being romantic and idealistic, but it was worth a try, wasn’t it?

“Okay! Thank you so much, Mrs. Breling!” Lairo said, walking back into the room, phone to his ear. “Bye!” He hung up and set his phone on the desk, then leapt onto the bed next to Cielan. “She says to be home by lunch.”

Cielan rolled onto his side and beamed as he stared into his boyfriend’s saffron eyes, and for the first time since he was a little boy, playing with his parents, he felt like he belonged. Like the world, which had wronged him so many times, was finally saying sorry. He wasn’t lonely anymore. He was free.

It finally sunk in. His face scrunched up, his beak trembled, and tears began to flow from the corners of his eyes.

“Cielan? What’s—” 

The blue jay shook his head. “I’m so happy.” He couldn’t manage another word. Weeping turned to crying, then to bawling, as years of emotions, both understood and repressed, poured from his eyes.

“Me too, my love. Me too,” Lairo said, his own voice showing signs of cracking.

Cielan managed a shaky chuckle between his sobs. “M…my love? I thought”—he took a deep breath, which he quickly sputtered out—“I was supposed to be… the cheesy one.”

Lairo laughed and pulled Cielan closer as he stroked the top of his blue crown. They stayed like that while Cielan rubbed his teary cheek on the cardinal’s shoulder, leaving wet streaks on the shirt. As he wiped away his tears and pulled his head back, Lairo’s blurry face became clear, and he saw that the cardinal was crying too. But he wasn’t worried. He knew why. He leaned back in and hugged his boyfriend properly, squeezing him against his chest, rocking back and forth.

“Everything’s gonna be okay,” the blue jay said. “We’re gonna be okay.”

Lairo sniffed. “Yeah. Yeah, we are.”

The two sat together for what felt to Cielan like a million years. Everything about Lairo was simply perfect. The way he felt in his arms, the way he sounded when he spoke about his passions, the way he acted when he was affectionate, even the way he smelled as they made love. He had found his soulmate. He knew it in his heart and his soul.

“Hey… wanna watch some videos before bed?” Lairo asked, finally breaking the silence.

“Sure.”

Lairo grabbed his remote and pulled up a playlist, and the two birds laughed at the funny streamer on the television until their eyes grew heavy. When the last video finished, Lairo yawned as he stretched his arms over his head. “I’m sleepy…”

Cielan looked with half-closed eyes at the songbird. “Time for bed?”

Lairo nodded and turned off the television, blanketing the room in darkness and silence. He rolled onto his side and pushed himself back into the blue jay, the contour of his slightly smaller form fitting perfectly against the corvid’s. “I love you, Cielan…”

“I love you, Lairo. Good night.” 

“Night…”

Cielan’s wrapped his arms around Lairo’s delicate frame and pulled him close against his body. Slowly, their breathing slowed, and the world faded away as they fell asleep together for the first time. He dreamt that he was a primitive blue jay soaring through the sky, alone but for the presence of a single northern cardinal at his side, as they flew off into their future together.