Constraints are devastating. Being forced to do one thing can cause you to be unwilling to do five things you would otherwise do yourself. You are confronted with your rebellion. Suppose you are also forced to do those five things, because anger is an uncomfortable feeling, or you still try to accept the five things you would have done, you decide to comfort your rebellion. Or, you're just thinking subconsciously. Whatever the case may be, you realize that you can convince yourself that you can study hard for the good of others and not just yourself, you can try to convince yourself that teachers and parents are your employers, and you can try to convince yourself that you wouldn't actually do those five things assuming no one is pushing you. Aware of these things frightens you, because your anger does not want to go away, and because these things may be the reason why others are willing to accept being constrained; whether consciously or not, you always inevitably ask yourself why you can't be as obedient as they are. Another reason to feel fear is that you fear that accepting them will lead you to inadvertently accept what you are not forced to do, or to miss out on ideas that can be used to try and persuade the person constraining you. People criticize you every day with inadequate arguments, and you reflect on it with a hundred times the thought they did when they criticized you, so that you don't feel as bad as being criticized. Lying to yourself or not thinking enough will not make you feel good either, because (1) they will point out tomorrow where you are deceiving yourself or underconsidering (albeit in the middle of 50 criticisms with insufficient reasons), and (2) one of the main reasons why this kind of thinking makes you feel better is that you use your thinking to persuade the person who restricts you in your imagination (although this communication does not have a chance to happen), and false or insufficient reflection does not reassure you.

I just thought of something else. Some people say that school teaches self-discipline. I don't support unnatural consequences by any means, whether or not primary and secondary schools can teach self-discipline. To take a step back, I don't think forcing a person can teach a person self-discipline. And even if it worked, it wouldn't be necessary, because it's perfectly possible for a child to learn self-discipline by facing natural consequences after work - if one has to use the expression "learning self-discipline". I'm in college now, and the busiest days of college aren't nearly as busy as 1/3 of primary and secondary schools here, and most importantly, no one punishes or shames me. I still have to do things to graduate, and I have to push myself to do things sometimes. I realised that I could say to myself, "I went through so much in primary and secondary school, I just need to emulate what I did then, but do college tasks as I wish." That thought really scared me. Although, I could argue that just because I push myself in this way doesn't mean I'm in favour of primary and secondary school; I'd rather I didn't have primary and secondary school experiences to draw on, but primary and secondary school experiences are a fait accompli. But, no, I'm not going to rush myself by recalling my primary and secondary school experiences. To take a step back, a month or two of experience can provide experience, not 12 years of primary and secondary school. Taking another step back, one may feel rebellious and try to deliberately lose the ability to exercise self-discipline that one gets from primary and secondary school. People can be so in love with freedom that after they get it, they still, sometimes, choose to destroy what others have built in them that could have been of use to them.

约束是毁灭性的。被强迫做一件事会导致你不愿意做你本来会自己做的五件事。你面对着你的叛逆。假设你也被迫做那五件事，因为愤怒是难受的感觉，或者你仍然尝试去接受那五件你本来会去做的事，于是你决定安慰你的叛逆。或者，你只是下意识地思考。不管是哪种情况，你意识到你可以说服自己努力学习是为了其他人而不只是你自己好，你可以试图让自己相信老师和家长是你的雇主，你可以试图说服你自己假设没人逼迫你，你其实不会做那五件事。意识到这些事令你恐惧，因为你的愤怒不想消失，也因为这些事或许是别人愿意接受被约束的原因，你有意或无意，但总是不可避免地质问你自己为什么不能像他们一样顺从。另一个感到恐惧的原因是你担心接受它们会导致你无意中接受你不被迫做的事，或错失可以用来尝试说服约束你的人的各种想法。有人每天用不充分的论点批评你，你用上百倍于他们批评你时进行的思考对此进行反思，以此保护你自己，让你自己不因为被批评那么难受。欺骗自己或不充分的思考也没法让你好受，因为(1)他们明天又会指明你欺骗自己或考虑不充分的地方（尽管夹杂在50条理由不充分的批判中间），以及(2)这种思考让你好受的一大原因是你在想象中用你的思考说服约束你的人（尽管这种沟通没有机会发生），虚假或不充分的反思不能让你安心。你基本上不是在为了你自己的长久利益动用你的理性，你动用了那些不脆弱的人难以想象的自我反思的力量，去保护你叛逆和希望自己为自己决定的那部分。

我刚刚又想到一件事。有人说学校教人自律。我无论如何都不支持非自然的后果，无论中小学能不能教人自律。退一步讲，我不觉得强迫一个人能教一个人自律。而且，即使这有效，这也没有必要，因为完全可以让孩子工作之后，面对自然后果来学习自律——如果人们一定要用“学习自律”这样的表达的话。我现在在大学，大学最忙的日子没有这里的中小学1/3忙，最重要的是，没有人惩罚我，我不必面对许多事。我为了毕业仍然得做一些事，我有时得催促自己做一些事。我意识到，我可以对我自己说，“我在中小学的时候经历了那么多，我只需要仿照当时，但按照我的意愿做大学的任务就好。”这种想法真的吓到了我。虽然，我可以说，我这样催促自己不意味着我支持中小学；我宁可我没有中小学的经历以供借鉴，但中小学的经历已是既成事实。但是，不，我当然不会利用中小学的经历催促自己。退一步讲，一两个月的经历就可以提供经验，而不是中小学的12年。再退一步讲，人们可能感到叛逆，尝试故意失去从中小学得到的自律的能力。人们可以如此热爱自由，以至于他们在得到自由之后，有时仍然选择毁掉别人在他们的身上建造的、本来能对他们发挥用处的东西。