Jack eventually got through to the suicide hotline. “Hello? Can I help you?”
“Hi, so... I was thinking of drinking a load of bleach, I was wondering-“
“Oh god, you don’t want to do that! That’s a horrible way to go!”
“That’s kind of the point. I hear you guys help people find a decent way to go? I want to regret it.”
“...you mean, you want to be tortured?”
“Basically, yeah!”
“Well, bleach is way too quick for that then. Have you tried our website yet?”
“You have a website‽”
“Well we’ve only really got the one product, the snuffer suit, but it’s customisable like you wouldn’t believe and we even offer to help you into it or... have a fun time”

Jack loaded up the website, getting hard thinking about a punishment that could be worse than drinking bleach. To his surprise, there was an interactive quiz to help narrow down the kinds of product the customer would be interested in.

1: What is your race, size and sex?
Race - Aardvark / Anteater / Antelope / ...
Size - small / regular / large / other
Sex - male / female / herm / null / other
‘I’m a rabbit, medium, male’

2: Are you seeking sexual thrill?
purely non-sexual / no / maybe / yes / Purely sexual
‘I wouldn't say it's completely a sex thing, but yeah, I want it to be sexy’

3: Would you like to extend your punishment to sexual deprivation?
pleasure denial / orgasm denial / no / maybe
‘Like... total pleasure or orgasm denial? Like I’m not allowed to get off on it? That’s pretty hardcore, I don’t know if I can even do that. I’ll say maybe. ...fuck it, I want to regret this, I want to suffer. Pleasure denial.’

4: Would you like to extend your punishment to sexual exhaustion?
no / maybe / light / moderate / heavy
‘Damn it, that would have been hot too. I’ll put heavy, but I guess it won’t mean anything. Unless maybe I’m getting milked but I can’t even feel the pleasure. Is that even possible?’

5: Are you interested in snuff or peril?
non-peril / mild peril / heavy peril / snuff
‘No, I don’t want a chance of getting out of this. I want the ultimate adventure! Snuff.’

6: How long do you want to suffer?
indefinitely / a year / a week / a day / an hour / a minute / an instant
‘Well, I don’t want it done instantly, I want to actually suffer. I don’t want to wait years for it either, that just sounds boring. A week should be pretty damn long...’

7: How intensely do you want to suffer?
comfort / unease / atonement / punishment / torment
‘torment.’

8: Would you like a complimentary escort service?
worshipful service / regular service / dominant service / torment service / no
‘Would the torment one be like rape? Nah, I’d be too worried that they’d give me a happy ending. By either definition. I’m gonna go with no on this one’

9: Would you like to be helped into your suit?
no / yes / forced / bound / forced and bound
‘Being forced into the suit sounds a little... backwards. I’m already paying tons to get the suit, I’m hardly going to resist them. The bondage could be unpleasant though... bound.’

10: Would you like any further assistance?
Degradation on delivery / thorough beating / both / neither
‘Both! Even if it’s just a quick slap at the door, that sounds hot’

Your recommendations are as follows:
Itchy medium suit - week torment setting
Intermittent shock module
Insomnia module
Impact amplifier module
Cock disabler module
Temperature torture module
Self-inflating oversized plug
Suit lock - permanent, no unlock

You can browse the store manually if you don’t wish to purchase these items. If you do wish to purchase these items, you can expect a delivery in 48 hours. Simply add any additional notes for your deliverers and enter your payment information. If you would like any kind of treatment to be off-limits
‘Well I can’t imagine there being anything much worse, so I’ll add my note:’
My limits are tasting cum (because I love it), boredom, respect and punishment withdrawal. Please tease, deny, degrade and punish me on delivery; I want to regret this.

Itchy suit - week torment setting
The itchy suit is designed to bring maximum discomfort without sacrificing the suit’s durability. The suit has been tested thoroughly and proven effective for over eight years, making it physically impossible to escape the pain. The week torment setting will cause maximum discomfort to the wearer through all modules, strictly within safe limits. After the week has passed, all modules will slowly increase effectiveness past this limit over the course of a day, to their unsurvivable maximum. The longest recorded survival without assistance is 7 days and 8 hours, whilst the longest recorded survival with advanced medical assistance is 9 days and 12 hours.

Intermittent shock module
The battery used by this module is powerful enough to electrocute the wearer for a month straight at lethal levels, but instead this module is designed to annoy and infuriate the wearer. These shocks aren’t deadly unless the suit has been worn for its intended duration, but can cause permanent damage and severe pain. 

Insomnia module
The insomnia module does not function on its own, rather it is used as a trigger for other modules such as the intermittent shock module or the self-inflating plug. If the wearer ever approaches a near-sleep state, the connected module will activate to prevent sleep. If the connected module is not effective, the insomnia module can send experimental impulses which cause a wide variety of effects which are all detrimental to the wearer’s health

Impact amplifier
Just as an impact compensator would soften blows, this module does the opposite and turns every poke into a punch. It is highly recommended to combine this module with the intermittent shock module, to capitalise on every convulsion.

Cock disabler
Whilst the cock disabler module doesn’t completely remove penile functionality, it does remove all feeling and prevent the wearer from feeling the slightest of pleasure, even that which is derived from physical masochism. The cock disabler module can be set to erect or flaccid, but only whilst the key is inside the module.

Temperature torture module
This module is capable of reducing or increasing the suit’s temperature beyond lethal limits, although it will not do so unless the suit’s wearer has exceeded the suit’s intended duration. The temperature torture module is specifically designed to cause maximum discomfort without causing premature death. 

Self-inflating oversized plug
On first appearance, this plug may seem entirely manageable to those with even slight experience with anal play. However, this plug expands to perilous sizes and can do so without warning. This plug is specifically designed to mimic hard rape and cause as much pain as possible without premature death.

Suit lock - Permanent, no unlock
The difference between the no unlock suit and the lockable suit is that this suit is practically impregnable. Once the suit has adjusted to the wearer, a process that takes around a minute, only an application of extreme heat followed by extreme cold can damage the suit. This process cannot be survived my any known being, and requires advanced technology not available to the public.

For a good minute, Jack was lucid and contemplative. ‘Could I really do this? I probably have more to live for, and I’d really rather suck a lot more dick before that. I’d be missing out on so many opportunities, and I’d regret it so much’. Jack sunk once again into his lust-addled mindset. ‘I don’t think I could regret anything more, I really shouldn’t do this’, he thought, causing his cock to stiffen painfully. Jack leapt to the submit button so fast that he nearly broke his computer.