TSWOG Episode 1-st: The Stud Part 1
	
	Gumball woke up, smacking his lips. He rose from bed with an unusual ease, his body animated with a strange sort of energy. Strange, considering he must have been up until at least 1AM fiddling with that stupid remote and its archaic layout.

	Whatever, it wasn’t a bad feeling.

	He shuffled out of bed, adjusting his sleeping shorts. 

	Huh. 

	He looked down at his groin, to the curious weight there. He cocked an eyebrow at the additional texture in his shorts, a warm, hefty bulge sat between his legs. Had that always been there? He shifted his shorts once more, jerking at the jolt of sensation that came with it.

	‘I probably drank too much water before bed,’ he thought to himself, hopping out of bed and rapping his knuckles on Darwin’s bowl. “Yo dude. Wake up.”

	A dull, hollow ‘bong’ drew his attention to the empty bowl on the bedside table: Darwin was gone. Gumball groaned and looked over at the alarm clock, which read 6:45AM.

	“Aww dude? Really?” Gumball groaned. “You didn’t wake me up? I expected this from Anais, dude, not you. Hot water’s probably all gone…”

	Gumball trudged down the hallway towards the bathroom, reaching up to the handle, unsurprised to find it locked. “Aw C’MON!! STILL?!”

	Gumball pressed his ear against the door, hearing the sound of the shower spraying as well as what sounded like sharp slaps. We they fighting in there? While the shower was running?! He grit his teeth and started knocking rapidly on the door, shouting: “Hey!! Stop wasting all the hot water!”

	The sound of alarm and scrabbling sounded for a few moments before the door swung open, revealing Darwin and Anais, a single towel wrapped around them, her feet not even touching the ground. Both of them looked like they’d been caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

	Gumball looked them up, eyebrow arched. “Uh.”

	“The-the-the, uh…” Darwin stammered. “The…”

	“The towels!” Anais interjected, looking as though she were struggling with something. “W-ngh!-We’re l-low on towels. Th-that’s why we’re sh-shaaariiing!”

	“Yuh~” Darwin grunted as the pink rabbit slithered downwards a few inches with a squelch, his eyes going glossy. “…Touls…

	“Towels?” Gumball inquired.

	“We gotta go!” Anais said, reaching up and slapping the fish-boy on the side of his head. “Hi-yo Silver!”

	The two shambled down the hallway, vanishing into their bedroom with a sharp ‘slam’ of the door.

	Gumball shrugged and stepped into the bathroom. The idiots had left the shower running! All that hot water, wasted! Gumball wasted no time shucking off his clothes and jumping in, sighing in relief when he felt the water pelt his body. It still felt plenty hot, too!

	“Aww yeah…” Gumball sighed, grabbing the soap-bar and sudsing it up, rubbing the foam all over his body. “Oh, right, I gotta…”

	A mischievous smirk spread across his muzzle.

	“All goes to the same place…” He said as he reached down to direct himself. “What the–?!”

	Gumball’s eyes snapped open as he looked down at the thing in his hand. A long fleshy tube, pink and veiny, as thick as his wrist and as long as his entire hand! Where had that come from? He reached down and squeezed it. It felt the same as before but… wasn’t that part of him all blurry before? Like, before he couldn’t even see his hand when he reached down to pee or whatever. But here it was, clear as day. Man, did it always look like that? No, it was definitely bigger. A LOT bigger. Before he could cup both the shaft and balls in his palm. Now, his entire hand didn’t even cover the base of the shaft. He couldn’t even wrap his fingers around its soft, spongey mass, and its length exceeded his grasp a good three or four times over. To say nothing of his balls.

	His balls!

	He reached down to grab the little sack with two grape-sized spheroids within, only to find a single mass the size of an avocado! When did that happen?! Why was there only one?! …No, wait, there was the other one. WHAT THE WHAT?! Two avocados and a floppy cucumber! Since when did he have a WholeFoods produce aisle growing out of his crotch?!

	“This is…” Gumball paused, recalling the other night, with the Remote. “Oh yeah. Huh. I guess this is normal now? Kay, whatever. I gotta pee super bad.”

	Gumball reached down, grabbing the squishy, hooded head of his wiener – that name really didn’t seem to fit the thing in his hand – and pointed it at the drain, sighing as a stream of urine pattered into the drain.

	“Peein’ in the shower / Peein’ the sink / Don’t go number two / be~cause it’ll stink~” Gumball hummed to himself as he drained himself, his hands exploring the new, huge mass between his legs. “Heh… this feels kinda nice. What’s this thing at the tip? Feels like there’s something under it?”

	“Gumball…” a strong, authoritative voice said behind him. “What are you doing?”

	Despite the seemingly endless hot water streaming over him, Gumball felt his blood run cold.

	“Mom?”

	Nicole Watterson stood on the other side of the shower curtain, her aura thrumming in the air like a live power cable.

	“This shower…” she said, her tone low and dangerous. “Has been running… for twenty minutes!”

	Shit.

	Shit!

	Shit?

	Since when did he know that word?

	“Uh y-yeah!” Gumball managed. “I-I slept in! By the time I got here and Darwin and Anais were using it! I j-just, uh, stepped in?”

	There was a pause.

	Then a sigh.

	“Waste not want not.”

	“Wh-what?”

	The sound of shuffling clothes sounded and metal rings clinked as the shower curtain was pulled back and then shoved back into place.

	“Ahhh…” Nicole sighed. “Still hot enough.”

	“Uh…” Gumball muttered, not looking back; if his ‘blurry bits’ were out in force, what about hers?! “Th-that’s what I was thinking.”

	“Well, make the most of it,” said Nicole, gruffly. “Who do you think pays for this, your father? Come on, now. Suds up. Water’s wasting.”
	
	Gumball gasped as he felt two warm, pillowy masses embraced his head as his mother leaned over him to grab the shampoo. Her belly pressed against his back, slim and trim and warm, the crux between her thighs nestling atop the base of his tail. Gumball squeaked his heart began to pound, his chest tightening. Heat flared in his cheeks, ears… and groin.

	“Come closer, Gummypuss,” crooned Nicole, squirting a dollop of shampoo into her palm with a wet, lewd ‘spluuurt’. “I’ll do us both.”

	“Uh…” Part of Gumball wanted to step out of this awkward situation, but another, increasingly large part of him, wanted to stay and see how things played out. “Yeah, okay.”
	
	Nicole leaned over him in the shower, water cascading over her body as she rubbed the shampoo into her lush, silky fur. The suds streamed down her body as she rubbed them in, flowing down onto her son. Her hands moved from rubbing the shampoo into her own body down to his, kneading and working the froth into his fur. Gumball swallowed hard as her large soft breasts bracketed his head, squeezing in as hot soapy water streamed down between them and onto his scalp. She reached up, hands squeezing her tits as she rubbed them up and down either side of his head, lifting them up until they sat atop his head, covering his eyes, before releasing them to thud down on his narrow, boyish shoulders with a wet, resounding ‘slap’.
	Rub-rub-rub-rub… slap!

	Rub-rub-rubrub-rub… slap!

	Rub-rub-rubrubrub-rub… ~squish~… slap!

	“Wait…” Nicole said from behind. “How long have you been in here?”

	“J-just a few minutes before you came in!” Gumball squeaked, his voice cracking. “H-honest!”

	“And you haven’t washed down here?” Nicole exclaimed, affronted. “Zachary Watterson! I know your limpdick father hasn’t been–you know what? Never mind. Gumball, look, as a boy gets older, his body starts to change. Things… change. Get… g-get b-bigger. Smell different, they–look, it’s important to clean under your foreskin, okay?!”

	“…My what?”

	Gumball squeaked as he felt his mother’s fingers drift down his slim, toned belly, tracing his wide, well-defined hips, hooking into his V-line and darting inwards. Gumball gasped, his back arching, as his mothers fingers wrapped around the base of his wiener – seriously, there has to be a less-lame name for this thing – now standing proud at 18 inches of 5 inch thick meat, one hand unable to as much as half encircle him. 

	“Wh-what!” Nicole exclaimed, her voice taking on that alarming tone reserved for big problems. “H-how? How?!”

	Gumball shrank away from the tone of voice. “Sorry! I’m sorry! I just–I–”

	He felt his mother curl around him, draw him close, envelop him in her slick body and bosom, until as much of her was touching as much of him as possible. Her voice took on a softer, huskier tone as she tried and failed to encircle his shaft with both hands. “Don’t be sorry, baby. It’s okay, Gummypuss, I’m not mad. I was just… surprised that you’d grown so much. I mean…” Gumball gasped and shuddered as her fingers worked their way up his shaft, peeling back his foreskin and revealing his sensitive head to the world for the first time. “…It’s not every day a mother finds out her baby boy grew 16 inches overnight~”

	“Muh-mom~” Gumball moaned as one hand rubbed his shaft and the other gently polished his crown like it was a juicy apple. “What–agh!–What’re you–?”

	“Cleaning my baby boy…” She purred in his ear, one hand pumping his shaft as the other polished his fat crown, his foreskin sliding over her fingers as they did, causing him to squeal in sensation.

	“Oh, I’m sorry, Gummypuss~” Nicole sighed into his ear, resuming the treatment. “Are you sensitive down there? Of course you are~ My baby boy hasn’t been spoiled yet. Have you, Gummypuss?”

	“Ah~ M-Mom~” Gumball whined, his hips bucking in her hand.

	“Yes~” She crooned, pulling him closer to her. “I’m your mommy. Tell mommy, Gummypuss, has another little slut touched you like this?”

	Gumball huffed and gasped, on instinct he reached up to touch himself only for Nicole to effortlessly grab and fold both arms behind his back, her free hand pumping his huge shaft and massaging his head.

	She leaned in and suckled on his ear, breathing. “Have they?”

	“Nuh-n-no…” He huffed as she placed her palm over the fleshy head of his cock, her fingers wrapping around it like a pitcher grips a baseball. “Ugh… M-mommy…”

	“Say it again,” Nicole huffed. “Say ‘no, mommy’.”

	“N-no, mommy?” Gumball obliged.

	She turned him around to face her. She towered over him, as usual, but now her chest heaved outwards like it hadn’t before, like she was holding two small watermelons under her shirt like that one time they had to smuggle–

	“Look me in the eyes,” she said, her eyes like lighthouses looking down on him from… behind two lush rounded mountains. “Tell me, Gummypuss. Tell me no other whore has spoiled you.”

	He blinked, confused. “What’s a ‘hoar’?”

	“A whore, baby, is a girl who doesn’t love you, but just wants you for what you can do for them,” she said, reaching out and grabbing his cock as it stood proud between his pectorals, causing him to gasp. “Gummypuss, a boy of your calibre, a stud like you, will come across a lot of whores. I can’t tell you not to use them for fun, only that you remember that only one woman in the world truly loves you. And that’s me. Do you understand?” Gumball boggled at her, at the perfect D-cups staring him in the face, her rosy pink nipples standing proud despite the hot water. She stepped forward and pressed them into his face, moaning as Gumball instinctively kneaded and squeezed them, taking her hard, sensitive nipples into his mouth, suckling them. She let her 12 year old son try to suck the milk from her for a few delicious moments before reaching down and taking the boy’s face in her hands. “Now fuck me how your pedo-father used to fuck me before I grew these tits!”

	Nicole scooped his face up in her hands and drew him into a passionate kiss. Her tongue reached into his mouth, finding his tongue and pulling it up. With a suck, she drew him into her and wrestled. Their tongues played and wrestled, sparred and slid over one another. Before long, Gumball was inside her mouth as much as she was in his, their lips slurping and popping as they explored one another’s bodies. After a long minute, Nicole broke the kiss, pressing Gumball’s huge cock against her belly, the squirting head spitting long ropes of thick pre between her tits.

	“Do you feel it, Gumball?” She whispered, huskily, pressing the huge shaft against her belly. “Do you feel it aching for you?”

	Gumball gasped, shuddering as he felt something within his mother’s belly twitch and throb like a heart beat. “Y-Yeah.”

	“That’s Mommy’s womb, Gummypuss,” she crooned, pressing his face between her tits, forcing their eyes to meet. “She wants to see you again. She wants to feel you inside her. You’ve inherited your father’s bitch-breaking cock, Gumball. Don’t you want to come on back and make Mommy’s body your home again?”

	‘Cock’? Yeah, that was much better than ‘wiener’. Also, her what?

	Gumball moaned as he felt the thing in her belly squirm, as though it was trying to get at him. A a rope of milky pre spat from his cocktip, shooting up from between Nicole’s tits and splattering across her chin. She grinned and lapped it up, her son’s pre tasted richer than most grown men’s cum! Nicole grinned, reaching down and grabbing his baseball-sized head, stepping back as she guided it down from between her tits, drawing a thick trail of glue-like pre down her belly, over her pubis, grinding it on her hard, sensitive clit before nocking it between her thighs.

	“Ready to come home…” Nicole whispered, as much to herself as to him. “…baby?”

	Gumball moaned and thrust upward, toward the blistering heat drooling atop his crown. She parted for him easily, his head popping into her like a socket, a perfect fit. Nicole moaned, angling her hips so that more of her son could enter her with each frantic thrust. Her son! After 12 years, her son was inside her again!

	6 inches sunk with with a lewd slurp. His cocked bowed, angling upward as the boy acted on instinct. An electric jolt raced up her spine as she came, unleashing a rush of hot fluids over his massive head. She tried to catch her breaths between climaxes when 9 inches slipped into place with a slick, natural ‘pop’, as though he’d always belonged there.  His fat head slammed up against her cervix like fist, her inner entrance catching on the tip for the barest of instants. Nicole gasped as she felt her deepest parts begin to open, to accept that which had once been a part of her. 

	Gumball thrust again and 11 inches smashed against her final barrier, demanding entry into her most sacred place. Nicole cried out as her clit, G-spot, and cervix simultaneously succumbed to the sheer presence if his cock. This stud was reshaping her, resizing her body to his perfect cock. All other men would be playthings, aides in masturbation at best, for only this cock, her son’s cock, could ever make her bow. The knowledge that her own flesh and blood was returning to her, returning to its natural home, only added to the delicious taboo.

	‘You were good, Richard!’ A neglected, vindictive part of her said. ‘Before I grew these tits after Anais, when you could still get it up, you were the best! But now, our son is fucking me like you used to!’

	13 inches now insisted on entry as Nicole’s cervix attempted to accommodate. She frantically jerked her hips back and forth, fucking herself on her son’s fat meat, her cervix suckling on his thick crown, her womb jostling back and forth inside her as she stirred up her insides.

	“Oh!  Oh, Gummypuss!” Nicole cried, cumming again around her son’s cock. “Fuck Mommy like that! Just like that!”

	Gumball reached up, one hand wrapping around her waist, the other looping up and grabbing her shoulder. Nicole looked down to see her boy – no – her man leering up at her from between her tits, a malicious grin on his face.

	“Call me Zach,” he said as he thrust his hips upwards with all his might, standing on his tippy-toes to make up for the height difference.

	18 inches suddenly made room for itself inside her.

	“OOOF!!” Nicole grunted as the air was forced from her lungs. She looked down to see the outline of her son’s cock in her belly, the tip of which was now somewhere in her chest. Nicole idly rubbed the thick ridge running from her pelvis to her sternum, smiling in dazed, constant-orgasmic pleasure.

	“My son has reclaimed my womb…” she muttered, grinning. “You’re back home,  baby…”

	“Not as roomy as I remember,” said ‘Zach’, smirking. “How about I break you back in?”

	“Whuh?”

	Gumball withdrew a full foot of cock, his long thick inches dripping with her clear, slick juices, before plunging back in, their bodies slamming together with a resounding ‘smack’. A spray of clear, thick pussy-juice sprayed around his shaft as she came again, her flesh spasming around him, squeezing and milking him.

	“Oorgh!” Nicole grunted as her womb was slammed up into her chest. “Z-Zach!”

	“Open your legs, Mom!” ‘Zach’ demanded as he pounded into her, each conquering thrust pulling a helpless juicy orgasm out of her. “I gotta fuck the shape of my cock into you!”

	“Y-yes…” Nicole mumbled through multiple orgasms as her son violated her, dominated her, completed her. She opened her legs and squatted down. “Anything for my baby~”

	Gumball thrust up with his legs, the bulge of his cock appearing through his mother’s belly. He held himself tight to her, feeling himself against his chest through her belly as he thrust into her. With a final push, he both felt and heard himself pop into her womb. He was back.

	“Back where you belong, Zach,” said Nicole, stroking the back of his head as she pressed him against the bulge in her. “Did you feel it? Hear it in my belly? Mommy’s womb is so happy to have you back.”

	Gumball gasped as something muscular undulated around his head, like something was sucking on him inside her, his cock jerked as he spat a pint of thick, whitish pre directly into her womb. “F-fuck! Mom!”

	Nicole leaned back, lowering herself down, Gumball quite literally led along by the dick as she did, so hard was her grip on his shaft. Gingerly and patiently she laid down in the bath tub, her legs spread, as the shower rained hot upon them. She looked down at the obscene stretch her pussy had made to accommodate her own son. The boy who had left her 12 years prior was filling her up once more, stretching her lips and her tunnel, just like before. There was only one thing to do.

	Mating press.

	Gumball took instinctively took the position, hooking his legs around hers, rearing his hips upward, and upward, and upward. Nicole watched reverently as inch after endless inch pulled out of her, her cuntlips clinging to the immense shaft until only his fat tip remained inside her. She gasped in ecstatic trepidation as she saw what could only be her cervix, sucking fast on her son’s cock, poke out from her opening. Her baby boy was going to fuck her inside out! Her pussy spasmed as clear girl-cum sprayed out of her. She wanted it. Wanted to be ruined by her son’s womb-wrecker! It was only fitting, as his first act coming into this world was to core her out, changing her pussy forever, that her stud son returned years later to remind her cunt of the natural order.

	“Z-Zach…” She pleaded.

	Gumball obliged and slammed his hips down, hilting himself fully.

	“OORGH!!” Nicole grunted, a throaty bestial sound that was as much from pleasure as from actually having her womb slam into her lungs! “F-Fuck!”

	Gumball ground into her, stirring his cockhead deep within her, rearranging her insides before withdrawing with a sadistic slowness, relishing the reluctant slurps and squelches his mother’s pussy made as it was forced to relinquish his meat. He tugged at the final few inches, looking down to see her cervix clinging stubbornly to his huge, furled crown. He noticed the swell forming in her belly, the seal she had made around his tip meant that her womb was slowly filling with his thick, hot precum like a balloon. The thought of his mother being filled with anything but his thick, hot jizz was unbearable! He angled his hips upward and smashed himself back down, his immense balls slapping against her wide ass with a resounding PLAP.

	“AAANH!!” Nicole wheezed. “Z-Zach! Please be gent–OOOF!! AGH! AAH~ F-FUCK!! AAAAAGH!! H-HARDER BAB–OOOGH!! CUMMING!!”

	Gumball set a ruthless rhythm. Fast, hard 16-inch thrusts punctuated with the wet slap of his softball-sized ballsack smacking into her wet, furry blue ass, rippling her cheeks. Nicole could only watch and cum over and over as her studly son made her his, the outline of his beastly cock clear in her belly, sometimes the tip would vanish beneath her rapidly panting chest, sometimes it would surge up and over her solar plexus, nestling between her tits. Her lust addled mind came upon the idea to time her breathing with his thrusts, pressing her tits together as his cocktip – which was presently wearing her pre-filled womb like a condom! – bulged through her. Her son was titfucking her while wombfucking her! They both moaned at the added sensation, the pressure, around their most sensitive parts.

	“M-Mom! Fuck! You’re a freak!” Gumball panted, grinding into her as she pressed her tits around the cockbulge jutting from her belly. “I-I’m gonna–!”

	“Do it, Baby!” Nicole moaned, grabbing his cockhead through her abdomen, rubbing her womb over it with both hands, squealing as her cunt squirted around his base. “I want to feel you cum!”

	Gumball grunted as his huge balls squeezed upward, a low audible churning sounded as they emptied. GLORP SPRRRT SPRRRRT GLUG SPLLLLLT GLORP emanated from the bulge between Nicole’s tits. The first pint of hot, consanguineous cum flooded her womb, filling her chamber with hundreds of billions of ruthlessly virile sperm. Not content to wait for her body to send eggs, the swimmers surged all the way up to her ovaries, laying siege to claim all of his mothers eggs. The second blast was no less determined.  Nor the third. Or the fifth. Or the eighth.

	Gumball moaned in orgasmic blis, watching the his mother’s womb audibly and visibly swell with each pulse of seed. First to the size of a softball, then a soccer ball, then a basket ball, then a…

	What’s bigger than a basket ball?

	Like, not a beachball, but bigger than a basket ball?

	Uh, anyway.

	Gumball leaned over his mother, her jizz-swollen belly hanging over her, pressing her tits up into her face, her expression that of absolute cockdrunk bliss. Gumball sighed in contentment at his good work, but couldn’t help but feel something was missing. He looked down at his mother’s cumswell and snapped his fingers. Of course! With a grunt he lifted her hips up over her face. Nicole was too fucked silly to help, only just starting to blink her way out of her ahegao, rousing only when Gumball began to withdraw his huge fuckstick, her gravid cumbelly shifting as her womb stubbornly clung to the huge furl of his cockhead. He grunted as he tried to pull out, noticing the ridge of firm flesh popping out from her tightly stretched hole.

	“W-wait…” She mumbled, her brow creasing. “G-Gummypuss? Zach? Zach, wait until you get softer before you–”

	Gumball jerked backwards hard with his hips.

	“AAAAAAGH!!” Nicole cried as her cervix, as stubborn as the rest of her, clung to her son’s glorious cock, pulling out of her several inches before releasing his head with a loud, wet PLOP. “FUCK!!”

	A torrent of hot, syrup-thick seed gushed forth from her prolapsed womb, coating her belly, chest, and face in her son’s delicious spunk. Nicole opened her mouth and gulped down mouthful after mouthful, pressing on her belly to get more, cumming as liters of hot thick jizz surged through her thoroughly fuck-sensitive hole. Once the flow had regrettably ceased, she looked up at the gaping prolapsed ruin that was her pussy.

	“You broke Mommy’s pussy…” She said, her tone dazed but fond as she reached up and rubbed her protruding cervix. “It’s only good for Gummypuss now…”

	“Hey, I thought I told you…” Gumball said, setting his still-hard cock down on her gaping ruin. “This guy’s ‘Zach’ to you, slut.”

	Her eyes went wide as ‘Zach’ pressed against her hungry, gluttonous entrance. “I’m sorry, Zach~”

	“No prob, just remember next time. Hey, what’s this doing out here?” said Gumball, smirking as he rubbed his shaft on her, flicking her protruding, recently vacated womb back and forth. “Here, let me give you a ‘hand’.”

	Nicole squealed in delight as he angled his cock down and, with a lewd, slurping ‘pop’, put her insides back… before slamming his hips down, his balls swollen and churning with freshly brewed seed.

	Richard stood in the hall, a towel and toothbrush in hand. “Honey? You think you could finish up in there? Shower’s been on for, like, an hour straight.”

	(PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP) was the reply.

	“Using up all the hot water?” Richard said. “Power bill’s gonna be fat this month.”

	(PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP–)

	Nicole opened the door, both her and Gumball wrapped in a towel, his face pressed into her wet belly. “Gummypuss is feeling a little… off, today. I’ll be taking him to rest up in our room, so he doesn’t give it to the other kids.”

	“Aww, feeling a bit sick there, pal?” Richard said, setting a hand to the boy’s forehead. “Yeah, he feels pretty warm. Is that what that noise was?”

	“Uh… yes.”

	“Well, I’ve been hearing that from the kid’s room for, like, half an hour,” said Richard, turning to the kids room, from which faint moans and pants could be heard over the wet rhythmic slaps of flesh on flesh. “I think they already got it, so–”

	“It must be very contagious, then!” Nicole called out as she and Gumball hurried into their bedroom. “Don’t come in, no matter what you hear!”

	“But–” Richard began to say as when the door slammed shut. “Should I call the school and tell them the kids are sick?”

	“Sure! Whatever!”

	“And your work?”

	(PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP)

	Richard pulled out his cellphone, dialing up Elmore Junior High. “Hello? Yes, this is Richard Watterson. Yes, that’s right. I’m calling to let you know that there’s a bug going around the house and none of the kids will be in today. What do they got? Uh…” 

	(PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP.) 

	“The Plaps,” said Richard. “Oh? It’s very common, surprised you haven’t heard of it. Very contagious. Symptoms? Uh… anxiety, restlessness, fever, swelling, discharge, that sort of thing. Thank you, I’ll try my best to care for them. Thank you, goodbye.” He hung up and called Nicole’s officer. “Hello? Yes, this is Richard Watterson. Nicole won’t be coming in today, she’s very ill. Why didn’t she call you herself?”

	Richard held out the phone to their bedroom door. 

	(PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP)

	“Yes, the Plaps. Just all of a sudden,” he said, nodding. “Yeah. Nicole and all the kids are out with it. Terrible thing, the Plaps. Thank you for being so understanding, Mrs. Yuki. Me? Oh, I’m fine. Not a Plap on me! Oh? Yeah, sure I can come over for coffee later. Just let me check with Nicole.” Richard turned from the phone and called out. “Nicole! Would you mind if I have lunch with your hot flirty boss and/or frenemy?”

	(PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP) “F-fuck off!!” (PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP)

	“Yeah, sure. How’s twelve sound? Huh? Inches?” He replied, chuckling obliviously at her response. “Oh, no! I’m about 18 inches, I meant the time! …What does ‘asap’ mean? Oooh, A S A P. Right. …What does that mean? Oh, you’re outside right now? Be right out!”