It’s Your Vacation
Written by Limewah
For Lager

The red panda sighed and grasped at the visor, hearing the controllers on his wrists clack hard against the plastic shell. 
“Piss! Sorry… yeah I think I’m gonna take a li’l break now, I can only take so much of this, you know?”
“Oh, sorry about that..” The golden furred goat was watching from the sidelines. He didn’t stand from his chair. “You need a hand?”
“Not your fault,” Leem waved Lager off. “I’d be more worried about ruining your shit!”
“It’s been through worse, don’t worry about it.”

The goat and the wah’s conversations had gone like this a lot throughout the past few days. It was an endless cycle of un-needed apologies and patient reassurances. It was perfectly natural of course, thanks to the giddy nerves that both the guest and the host were having. There was also perhaps an element of old habits. Particularly on Leem’s part. The red panda loved to apologise for his silence, or his languid pace, or his flights of wandering fancy. Lager could tell Leem was probably more nervous than him; if he was this anxious as a guest, how might he be as a host?

Leem was grimacing as he stared at the inside of the headset. The fur around his eyes was matted and damp. He was trying not to hold the soft rim of the VR headset too much. “Ugh, sorry, this thing is a bit ripe…”
There was another one. Lager wondered if he should start keeping a tally of apologies
“Don’t worry, I’ll give it a wipe down later.”
“You sure?” Leem asked, holding the visor down by his side by the head strap. “I was hopin’ to let you have a go at it too.”
“I can do that anytime,” Lager chuckled. “This is your vacation!”
“Honestly, I’d love to watch you play though!” Leem said. He was sidling his way closer to Lager. There was a funny look in his eye and a very tiny smile on his face. Lager knew that look by now. He knew what Leem was angling for, and what was about to happen to him. So why not be a little coy about it?

“Oh, I think I’m okay. I’m not sure I’m in the…m…”
He wasn’t able to get the last words out in time. Leem must have been holding the pendant in the pocket of his shorts. It was the little jagged piece of rose quartz, cradled in metal wires. It was the right time of evening to bring it out. Its natural pink hue, undiluted by any sunlight, drew in Lager’s gaze.
Just behind that swinging gem, Leem’s eyes were spiralling, rippling with those oh so familiar rings of purple and gold. Lager burst into a giddy smile shortly before his face went slack and vacant. The rippling rings, the swinging crystal and the force of gravity kept him from smiling much longer. 
“In the mood?” Leem crooned. “Well, you and I both know that’s a very easy fix, isn’t it. Yes, it is~”

The hypnotic rings in his eyes were slow and languid, like grape jam and honey being poured from jars. By contrast, the pendulum was swinging and dangling with a quicker rhythm and a wider arc. They were not in sync, making it so hard to keep track of both at the same time. Lager felt like he needed to try his hardest though. He wasn’t sure quite why. He never could remember in the moment; the colours kept him from looking forward and back. He couldn’t recall the past, or imagine the future; his focus was only in the present, only focused on the colours.
The more he tried to make sense of the pattern, the harder it got, the more tired his brain got, the more tired his eyes got. Sometimes the pendant would swing just in front of the purples and golds, sometimes down low, and that only made Lager’s vision grow vaguer and more relaxed. He remembered that there was no need to try to focus, or keep things up, or even think. 

He remembered it was best to relax his gaze, relax back, and stare. 
Leem was saying something, but he also knew it was best not to listen too hard. The silky murmuring lilt was pure sense-pleasure, making his brain sparkle and tingle just like his eyes. He knew Leem wasn’t saying anything compromising or untrustworthy. 
“You’re a hypnotised goaty,” Leem said. Lager heard that clearly. He knew how to respond.
“I’m a hypnotised goaty,” Lager breathed in response, his tone placid and accepting, the way one might accept a compliment.
“You’re a hypnotised goaty,” Leem said again. 
“I’m a hypnotised goaty,” Lager repeated once more. He repeated and repeated until that mantra was the only thought left in his head - at which point, that thought vanished too, and he was left in a sea of purple and gold, stirred around by a pretty pink pendulum.

—

The jungle was sticky. Even though he was down to just his shorts, the goat was having trouble staying cool. His mouth was perpetually hanging open, trying to expel some of the excess heat. There wasn’t much to do about it though. It was too sticky and humid. He just had to accept it and carry on.
The humidity was doing something weird to the ground beneath him too. He looked down. It looked like the dark loamy soil you’d expect, but it felt oddly dry and rough underneath his feet, like carpet or something similar. 
For some reason, Lager felt like he shouldn’t think about that too hard. Just enjoy yourself, Lager, you’re on a vacation!

It was getting late, and his eyelids and head were feeling heavier and heavier by the second. Lager wondered if it would be a little bit cooler if he got some height. Luckily for him, he could see a large, ancient tree with grey, gnarled bark. Lager wondered just how old it was; probably older than any place he’d ever known or lived. He stared up into the dark treetops with awe. There was a hell of a climb waiting for him.
For some reason, Lager felt like he shouldn’t worry about that too much. Just go for it, Lager, you can do it.

He reached out for the bark and grasped tightly. It felt firm, and surprisingly easy to grasp. It almost felt like his hands were stuck to it, and he didn’t really feel the weight of his body as he climbed. He was definitely not dreaming. He was breathing, he could feel and hear his breaths, particularly as he started to work up a little bit of a sweat with the climb.
You’ve got this, Lager. You’re doing so good so far. Great job…
His inner voice was a lot more vocal than usual. A lot more positive too. It also didn’t quite sound like his own, either…
For some reason, Lager felt like it was just one more distraction. You’re safe here in the tree, you don’t have a thing to worry about.

With one last heave, the goat hoisted himself onto a thick branch, straddling it and bracing his back against the trunk. It hadn’t been anywhere near as difficult as he thought it would be, but his arms were still relieved. From where he was, Lager could get a very clear view of the green canopy of the jungle stretching out before him. The sun was just disappearing over the horizon, and the sky turned from gold, to orange, to purple, to blue. 
It did so a little quickly. But Lager didn’t think about it too hard. He was grateful for the breeze, and the chance to take the load off his aching limbs, and the relative peace and quiet of the treetops. The sound of bugs, frogs, and other noisy nuisances barely reached him up here. It was bliss.
He closed his eyes, crossed his arms, and settled himself in for a nap. Sleep would suit him well.

“Say now… what do we have here?”
The voice came from above Lager. He craned his head up and found himself staring into two big yellow eyes in a sea of black fur. A wet canine nose was inches from the goat’s, and below that was a gleaming array of sharp teeth. The black wolf’s eyebrows wiggled, and their eyes widened in a vaguely flirtatious gesture as they smacked their lips.
Lager didn’t feel afraid. He wasn’t sure why. He felt more annoyed than anything. He was exhausted after all, and wasn’t really in the mood to entertain or be entertained for that matter.

“Mmmmhmmhmmhmm…” the wolf chuckled, climbing down from the trunk and falling past Lager. They grasped onto the branch and swung around it, perching themself in a squat just in front of the goat. They were huge, at least 3 times Lager’s size. Not to mention that tail was way too long for a wolf. Five times too long, at a glance. The base of the tail was wagging with interest, and the rest of it was trailing gently behind like a streamer.
“Look at this little morsel who’s found themself in my tree. What brings you here, I wonder~?”

Lager’s legs were raised up to rest on the branch, and his arms were crossed. He felt a little defensive, having been disturbed. His usual prey instinct, the desire to run away, was not present. He didn’t see this wolf as a threat. No reason to be afraid, just go with it.
“Look, I’m not really in the mood for company right now,” Lager said. “It’s been… a reallly long day.”
“Oh, is that so?” The wolf stretched in closer, their big nose sniffing at Lager’s face. “That’s horrible, I’m so sorry to hear that! Is there nothing I can do to help?”
“You want to help me?” Lager asked, tilting his head to the side. Why did his head feel a little heavy? Don’t worry about it, just go with it…
“Oh, certainly!” The wolf laughed, baring their dagger teeth and their warm pink maw. “A savoury little thing like you shouldn’t be suffering an ounce of discomfort while you’re here. It just won’t do!”
The wolf was still sniffing at him, their long tongue taking the odd lap at him. Lager grimaced a bit. The tongue was trying to get in his mouth. He pushed the wolf away; again, it was way too easy to do so. 
“Please just go away,” Lager snapped.
The wolf looked surprised and crestfallen, pulling back and crossing their arms with an annoyed, stroppy huff. Lager wasn’t quite sure if it was an act, though.
“Well, no offence, whoever you are-” Lager began.
“None taken.” The wolf snapped. 
“..but I really think I just need to get some peace and quiet. I really need to get some sleep…”

At that word, there was a marked shift in the wolf’s face. Their eyes widened again, and they nodded rapidly. The anger had dissipated.  
“Awwh, why didn’t you just say you needed to sleep?” The wolf asked, their voice sickly sweet. They dipped in closer once again, eyes wide. Lager considered pushing the head away. But that opportunity slipped right through his fingers, as beautiful colours began to slip through the wolf’s dinner-plate eyes. Just a few rings of blue and yellow. There one second, gone the next. Lager felt funny. He was suddenly very interested in what the wolf had to say next.

“Yes, little morsel…” the wolf cooed. “I could help you with your little problem. Hypnotism can do absolute wonders for insomnia, after all…”
Another burst of colour. The wolf tugged their head back, like bobbing a lure on a fishing line. Lager pushed off from the tree trunk to lean closer. Another burst of blue, cyan and yellow warbled through the orbs. Then another. And another. 

“Soo…. Easily….~” the wolf intoned. “So please, go to sleeeep…”
The wolf’s eyes danced with colour, and their head swayed to and fro. The colours seemed to expand past those eyes, leaving little after-images as the head swayed and turned. Lager still felt sleepy, but far more focused. He felt his eyes and mind tingle with a pleasure he vaguely recalled from his dreams.
“Please… go to sleep…” the wolf crooned a strange, almost tune-less air that still had a soporific, lulling effect to it. Lager’s jaw was wide open, and his arms and legs had slid back down to their sides. Lager didn’t know when that happened, nor did he really care.
“Sleep liiittle mooorsel~ reeest in peace…”
Something warm was wrapping around Lager’s thighs and arms. It was coarse, but comfortable, like a woolly scarf. Lager’s peripherals were too blurry to see, not to mention he was far too infatuated by those eyes. Otherwise he would have noticed the wolf’s long tail getting to work wrapping him up tight like a parcel. His eyes were drooping down, but just before he could lose sight of the eyes, Lager snapped back to attention. He couldn’t miss a moment of those pretty blues and yellows, could he? They were so important, and so pretty. When would he ever get to look at something this pretty again? He could not waste a moment.

“Just try to keep up with my eyes, little morsel… yes, yes, that’s it~”
The wolf’s voice was so familiar. Lager knew it from somewhere. Where though? Was it the voice he heard in his head, egging him on? Or someone else?
Don’t worry about it too hard, just sink deeper and enjoy it. Stay on the eyes, on the pretty colours, and let yourself fall…

“‘Leeeeee-pah… sssssleeeeeep…” 
Lager had never heard anyone say that word so beautifully. It was like the wolf’s muzzle was perfectly tuned for that word. Sleep. Sleep… 
He could feel his wide eyes starting to weaken again, and a yawn pushed from his throat. A name came into his head. The voice coming inside his head, and from the wolf’s muzzle… he recognised it!

“Nnnh…. L…Lee-m….?”
“Shhh-shh-shh….” The wolf hushed him, their tail draping gently around his neck before travelling up behind his ears. Gosh, their tail was so pleasantly warm… what had he been thinking about? He’d already forgotten. It must have not mattered. Besides, look at those pretty eyes, why would you want to waste any energy doing anything but staring! Talking would get in the way, wouldn’t it? You don’t want it to get in the way of being a hypnotised goaty, do you~?

“I’m a hypnotised goaty,” Lager mumbled, that big smile back on his face, his eyes spinning endlessly with the wolf’s hypnotic colours.
“Mmhmmhmmhmm….” The wolf closed their eyes and shook their head, chuckling with delight. When they opened their eyes had returned to their normal hue. “You see? I told you I could help you, and I did. And now you’re nice and warm, soft and safe… and you won’t be so cranky in the morning…”
“Mmmnnh…” Lager hummed, his eyes and smile as wide as they could go. He felt the wolf’s tail lift them. Their legs, sticking out from the coiled tail, sleepwalked in midair as he slowly was lifted high into the dark treetops. The wolf’s dark fur blended into the inky blackness, and soon all that was left were those pretty yellow eyes…
Lager really hoped they’d start swirling again.

—

Leem admired his handiwork. Lager was slumped against the wall like a discarded puppet. His eyes were still hidden by the headset, but he was beaming dopily. His chest was rising and falling slowly, a sure sign that he was deeply, blissfully asleep.
It was absolute perfection. Leem was sitting next to him, his striped tail folded and draped all over and around Lager’s slack body. With the aid of some scarfs and a duvet, he had managed to completely smother the goat’s frame with warmth and softness. It had certainly helped enhance the goat’s VR experience in ways that the wah’s hypnotic tricks could not.  Not that Lager seemed any the wiser. He was off in his own little world now, living out that little concept that he’d shown Leem a few days before. What better way to test drive it, after all?
“I’ll lie here and close my eyes for a few minutes, then I’ll tuck Lager into bed,” Leem told himself. He leaned his shoulder on Lager’s. Not even a minute passed before the panda was out like a light.
Luckily for the both of them, Leem didn’t snore loudly enough to wake either of them. There would be no cause for apology the next morning.

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