Anonymous asked:
How about a girl trying to pop a guy’s nuts but no matter how much she tries she’s not able. We could see the different methods she uses to try to break them but fails, and also his painful reaction to her efforts.

This seems like a great opportunity for a little homage to Poiu’s Dragon Slaying, AKA the ORIGINAL indestructible ballpopping saga.

—

“I’ve tried everything, ma’am.”

“Stomping?”

“For an entire afternoon.”

“Biting?”

“Yup. Used his nut like a piece of chewing gum.”

“And his testicles have shown no signs of weakening?“

“Nope. Swelled a bit, but they’re as sturdy as the first time I punted ‘em into his throat.”

“Hm.” The matriarch of the red dragons sat naked on her throne, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “Well, if your mate’s testicles are THAT resilient, and you are unable to burst one with only your own body, then our ceremonial traditions do allow for the use of tools to consummate your marriage.”

Lia shook her head. “We’ve tried those too, Elder. Just this morning, I spent an hour trying to crush his nut with a sledgehammer.”

The elder blinked. “And what happened?”

“P’oiu was totally fine!” The dragoness gave a pouty huff. “Or, I mean…he squealed like a hatchling the whole time, and he passed out towards the end, but his NUTS are fine. He keeps SAYING that I’m going to pop his ball, but I’ve never felt a single ‘crunch‘. And I know what a nut feels like when it’s starting to give – I mean, I definitely left all my ex-boyfriends with at least a LITTLE damage.”

“Where is this ‘P’oiu’ now?”

“He’s outside with your guards.” Lia glanced back over her shoulder. It was hard to be sure, but she thought she could hear a faint high-pitched squeal somewhere in the distance. “I asked them to stand on his balls while I was gone, just in case that helps soften ‘em up.”

The older female chuckled softly. “Most peculiar.” She leaned back, crossing one leg over the other. “I have overseen thousands of mating ceremonies in my time, but few males have shown such fortitude. It is a good omen for your relationship.”

Lia scratched her neck. “Uh, thanks.”

“There is a procedure that our culture sometimes uses for exceptional cases like your own.” The dragoness drummed her claws against the armrest. “We haven’t had to use the Rock for quite some time, but this seems like an appropriate occasion.”

“‘The Rock’?“ Lia echoed.

The matriarch nodded. “The great flat stone that rests in the village center.”

“…Ohhh, yeah, I’ve seen that. It’s SUPER wide, right? The street performers use it as a stage.” She looked up at the older female, curious. “What are you going to do with it?”

“We will assemble all the able-bodied females of the village to help lift it,” she explained patiently, “and then we will drop it upon your fiancé’s testicle.”

Lia’s eyes went wide. “You want to drop a BOULDER on my boyfriend’s balls?”

“His ball,” the elder corrected. “And yes, we’ll start by dropping the Rock onto his testicle. If that is not enough to crack his orb, then we can continue to add weight to the Rock until the ceremony has been completed.”

“Where would we get more weight?” asked Lia.

The matriarch chortled. “You said it yourself, did you not? Many people use the Rock as a stage. I am sure that your fellow females would be happy to step up on top of that stone slab and help you perform your womanly duty.”

“Oooooh.” Lia grinned. “Got it. So we’ll get as many ladies as possible to come jump up and down on P’oiu’s nut, and at some point, the poor thing will just give up.”

The elder female nodded. “Precisely. With any luck, that will be enough to shatter even the strongest spunk-maker.”

Lia bit her lip, squeezing her thighs together at the thought. “And, um…and what if that doesn’t work?”

The matriarch shrugged. “Then we’ll find a bigger rock.”