[i][b]"Mara... will you marry me?"[/b][/i] [i][b]"You mean if we get out of this alive?"[/b][/i] [i][b]"I mean regardless."[/b][/i] [i]~Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade[/i] "I served in the Jedi Order as a Knight for 3 years before the start of the Clone Wars, several years Kajex's senior. I did not know him personally, though I'm certain I saw him enough times that when my eyes fell on him 6 months ago, he seemed familiar," Moarn explained heavily. "His momentary lapse in the Force revealed what he was swiftly enough, but I made no effort to reveal him as I had thought he had already done so. I was mistaken, obviously." He paused, looking hesitant. "After my... exile... I decided to travel to Coruscant to walk the halls of the ruined Jedi Temple, which even to this day still stands." Master Skywalker had long since left, with Kyle and his R2 unit in tow; Miles and Keris had gone to the galley to grab a bite to eat, while Moarn had stayed onboard to speak with Syrra and Kajex; Locke and Talrik had remained in the lounge to watch, as did Simetra and Moarn's other former student, Garrett. Kajex understood an apology was on its way, but he also wanted to hear what the Trandoshan Jedi Master had been up to for half a year, without a student to instruct. "What were you looking for?" Syrra asked "Initially...?" Moarn hesitated. Kajex and Syrra watched as his face fell into an expression neither of them had seen from him- shame. "... Redemption. I admit I was worried that I might be lost to the dark side for my actions and my emotions, and wanted to scan what was left of the archives to see if there was any hope for me." "Nobody is beyond forgiveness or redemption," Kajex said calmly, looking sympathetic. "Not as long as they really want to find it, and mean it." He glanced at Locke and smiled. Locke looked a bit abashed, but managed to smile back. "I appreciate your kind words, Sentinel," Moarn said gratefully. "I spent several months with a few New Republic reconstruction specialists. Chief of State Leia Organa Solo, Master Skywalker's sister, wishes to begin rebuilding the Temple once public opinion of the Jedi is warmer. To that end, she's been diverting credits from her own personal account towards analyzing the structure and getting a head start on restoring the Jedi Archives. I offered to lend a hand in return for using the Temple, my old home, as a place to stay while I helped. It was there I learned through our records who Kajex was, though I had been confused as to why he had not seemed older. That, of course, has been answered. His skill in Force stealth and the fact that Master Bran, a known Jedi Sentinel, had been assigned to him, was enough for me to conclude that Kajex had also been trained as a Jedi Sentinel." "Beyond discovering his identity, I spent 3 months repairing damaged or vandalized blocks of data, cataloging what was damaged and getting a head start in erasing what monstrous scribbles Palpatine had etched into the files- collections of lies and criticisms, mocking the fate of the Jedi... and every now and again, sobering arguments that I unfortunately found myself agreeing with." He closed his eyes, shame turning to sadness. "A monster though he was, he possessed incredible foresight and insight into how we of the old Jedi Order used to function. And it dawned on me that as well-intentioned as our Order may have been, it was... flawed. Not corrupt, but inflexible to the point of arrogance in some respects. I didn't want to accept it at first, but ultimately... I had to concede that the old Jedi Order was not ideal, and that it's rigid teachings might be the reason why I... snapped," he finished, bowing his head with closed eyes. "'Snapped' how?" Syrra asked, staring at the Trandoshan with sympathy. He did not seem to want to continue. Kajex's brow furrowed, a wave of realization washing over him. "... You were in love with Syrra, weren't you." Moarn flinched. Kajex nodded. "You let jealousy get the better of you, because you weren't used to dealing with such a strong emotion. So when I needled you about your lack of physical intimacy..." Moarn nodded, keeping his head bowed. "Yes. That was precisely it." Syrra's face fell. "I... had no idea." "Because I didn't wish for you to know, Syrra," he sighed. "I confess that I found you physically attractive from the start, but it was your drive to be the best you could be, and the reverence you seemed to possess for the old Jedi Order, which I grew fond of. And yet you and I bound ourselves to tightly to the old ways of the Jedi such that neither of us formed a lasting bond with anybody- until you left for Ekibo and met Kajex, obviously." Garrett frowned at his former master. "That's why you were sour for the few weeks she was gone, isn't it?" he asked. "Because you missed her and you were scared she wouldn't come back without your help?" "Yes... and I apologize, Garrett, for being unnecessarily harsh the entire time. It was not right of me to lash out in anger for your trivial, understandable mistakes," he said heavily. "As Sentinel Surnahm rightly suggested, I was not taught how to properly deal with my own emotions, and was taught instead how to suppress them. I eventually left after submitting my findings and erasing what vile defecations Palpatine had added in the archives, and took a few months to find balance, traveling the galaxy to find what I hoped to be an answer to my problem." He finally lifted his head, staring at Syrra. "It would not be enough to return with an apology, not if I couldn't find a way to articulate my issues and reconcile with myself, first. You and Kajex deserved better than that." "Where did you go, that compelled you to come back?" Kajex asked. "Dantooine. To the ruins of the Jedi Enclave. I avoided what parts of the site had been caved in and came across a damaged, rudimentary holocron, hidden beneath a toppled bookcase. It belonged to a scholar from the time of the First Jedi Purge, a human named Mical- a historian of great renown who was part of the first, re-established Jedi Order after the First Jedi Purge." He smiled. "It's funny how one can find important lessons in simple trappings." "What did you learn?" Locke asked. "It was a brief, incomplete account of the Jedi hero Revan's return to the light, as well as records of his dealings with the Jedi Order- like the fact that after the Jedi Civil War, he espoused a new, radical idea of encouraging emotional bonds, as he felt they could strengthen one's connection to the Force and to other people; and how he retold his account of bringing his future wife, Bastila Shan, back to the light from the dark side by drawing on his love for her." Syrra straightened up. "Wait... Revan married Shan?" "Honestly, Syrra," Moarn said with a raised brow, "are you so surprised? You learned of Satele Shan, a Grand Master of the Council during the Cold War, you [i]were [/i]aware she was descended from Bastila, were you not?" Syrra shrugged. "I simply thought later that she had simply had unprotected sex and had her own child free of attachment. Master Skywalker told me that marriage was mostly forbidden, but sexual relationships were not." "And so he was correct- though it is also fair to say that the restriction against marriage was rescinded and reinstated several times throughout the Jedi Order's history, both before and after their time. Revan's and Shan's was a private ceremony, kept secret from most of the Jedi at the time. He offered to share his new understanding of the Force with the Council... which they vehemently and, as I am now of the opinion, foolishly rejected. In fact several masters called for his banishment, until a compromise was reached where they would both be allowed to remain married and Jedi, but he would not be allowed to spread his... 'dangerous' teachings." "You changed your outlook," Kajex said. "I did," Moarn acknowledged, pacing slowly up the lounge. "I read Master Skywalker's account of how his father redeemed himself and returned from the dark side- not out of fear; not because he was bested by his own son in lightsaber combat; but because Luke reached out via love and compassion. Revan did the same thousands of years prior, and saved someone he also loved. Meetra Surik brought the Jedi Order back from the dead- while some Jedi Masters argued it was because she was herself a wound in the Force, drawing in Force-sensitives and feeding from their energy and abilities, I personally now believe it was because she formed lasting and strong bonds of companionship, becoming close to those who would become the founders of the post-Purge Jedi Order." He paused, turning to Garrett. "All of what I've learned coalesced into a lesson- that I should have had no shame in what I felt, nor should I have let fear fester it into darker emotions and behavior." "To you, Garrett- I am sorry that my attitude shifted such that I treated you poorly. You deserved better than my needless animosity- you were not even a part of the problem I perceived, much less the source; not when the problem laid within myself, in my own fears." Garrett shifted a bit, looking uncomfortable but thankful. "I... it's fine, Master Moarn. I understand, and I forgive you." He turned to Kajex next. "And to you, Sentinel... I'm sorry for attacking you so viciously. Nothing you did or said warranted me falling, however briefly, to the dark side just to get back at you. I should have realized someone like Syrra would have fallen in love with you for having genuine positive qualities and character, as opposed to your physical attributes; and since she has grown into a powerful Jedi under your tutelage and unique perspective of the universe and the Force, I am certain she made the right choice with her heart and mind, rather than out of infatuation." The wolf nodded, smiling. "I accept your apology, Consular, and I'm glad you gained wisdom from it. And I apologize for being an asshole at the time." The Trandoshan nodded, then took a deep breath before finally turning to Syrra, bowing his head in shame. "And finally... I did a terrible thing, Syrra, by probing into your mind. I was... scared. I did not wish to lose you to someone I didn't know, and I invaded your privacy. I showed a complete lack of respect in doing what I did, and no amount of knowledge or wisdom I have gained since then will take that back." He looked back up to her. "I am... not fit to be your instructor, and I never had any intention of asking you to have that connection back. I am sorry for not respecting your privacy, and for judging you cruelly, when your own relationship was genuine. All I can offer now is the firm, honest admission that I was wrong- you would be an [i]ideal [/i]Jedi Knight, and you have grown exceptionally well in both strength and wisdom since we parted ways; no doubt due in part to your relationship and tutelage with Kajex, I imagine." He looked towards the wolf, a small smile on his face. "And as he's clearly possessed the wisdom I should have had a long time ago, I believe he is both an ideal teacher and mate." Syrra blushed, though she smiled back. "Everybody keeps calling him my mate, even though he's not." She glanced back at him. "Not yet, anyway." She turned back to the Trandoshan and nodded. "I accept your apology, Master Moarn. I'm glad we were able to reconcile." "As am I," Moarn replied. "So... what will you be doing now that you're back?" Kajex asked. Moarn hesitated. "I'm not quite sure, I'm afraid- at least, not where it concerns if I'll attempt to continue training new students. I do intend to relay my findings from the archive and the holocron I found on Dantooine to Master Skywalker. Beyond that... perhaps I'll just study awhile until I can once again be trusted to be around others." Syrra stepped forward, taking his claws and looking up at the veteran Jedi. "I'm going to stay with Kajex as his student, but I would value you still as a friend and a source of knowledge, all the same. You made a mistake, but that doesn't mean you should remain isolated. You'll always be welcome company." Moarn looked grateful. "I would... very much like that, Syrra." With little warning, she let go of his claws, bringing her paws to his face and gently pulling his lead lower to her level, leaning in and kissing the the tip of his snout. Kajex grinned as Moarn's eyes went wide and something similar to a blush appeared around his pronounced cheekbones- though he did smile from the affectionate gesture. "Don't be a stranger to us, Master Moarn. We have Sabaac Night at the end of each week on this ship. If Kajex is okay with it...?" "Absolutely," the wolf nodded. "You're welcome on-board the [i]Gold Rush [/i]during the evening, as long as you remain polite to my friends." He gestured to Locke. "It's true I do have a Sith friend--" "[i]Former [/i]Sith," Locke clarified. "-- but despite his former allegiances I'd still like for you to treat him decently." Moarn nodded. "I will." He sighed. "Well, I had better head back into the Temple and confer with Master Skywalker. Perhaps he'll have something for me to do. I'm glad I was able to have this discussion with you all, and I promise I'll mind my behavior in the future." He held his claw out to Kajex. "Until next we meet, Sentinel- keep up the exemplary work." "Will do, Master Moarn," the wolf replied, shaking his claw. Keris and Miles returned to the lounge shortly after Moarn, Garrett and Simetra left, carrying bowls of Kajex's freeze-dried noodles with the, a third in Keris' paw that she set in front of Locke. Kajex froze, wincing slightly with a pain expression on his face and whining quietly before sighing, taking a seat at the holotable. "Ugh... you guys are guests, after all." Syrra laughed, petting behind his ears briefly before taking a seat next to him. "We have plenty more, love, you know that. Besides, you [i]did [/i]say they could access anything they'd like on the ship. That includes the food, music--" "-- Holovids and porn, yeah," Kajex said, smiling back. "Not like I can blame them, they're good, aren't they?" Miles nodded, digging into his bowl and talking around a mouthful. "Couldn't help myself, where do you get these anyway? These things are like the [i]best[/i]." "I'll tell you later. Right now, since Locke is finally here we should probably take a moment to talk about what's going to happen," he suggested, taking a seat near to Locke's side of the table. "I meant what I said when I offered you a place on my ship, but even though Locke is fine with the idea... well, I never did get a clear answer from you two," he said, gesturing to Keris and Miles. "If you're not comfortable with remaining here, I can respect that- I just don't like the idea of putting you somewhere I can't keep an eye on." "I'm staying, too," Keris insisted, leaning against her master. "Wherever Locke is, I'll be by his side." Locke smiled, nuzzling her. "I appreciate your companionship and loyalty, love." "And you?" Kajex asked Miles. Miles leaned back, his brow furrowed. "By Imperial law, I would be considered a deserter by my commanding officer. Technically, that would be Locke, as I was officially assigned to him as his aide de camp. But the Remnant Army would likely not be so understanding of my defection. The penalty for that, as Talrik knows, is execution- so like him, I'm safer here than I am returning." "So, you [i]are [/i]defecting, then?" Talrik asked as he cracked open a bottle of ale. "I don't see that I have much a choice," Miles said wistfully. "Not that I have any particularly deep loyalty to them, I know the Remnant is guilty of many atrocities and crimes." He sighed. "Still... I can't pretend that I didn't look forward to the stability of employment and pay. Not sure what someone like me could do in Republic space, not with my resume." Talrik smiled dryly. "I know the feeling. Nobody wanted to take me in for employment either when I defected, except Kajex- and Syrra had to convince him," he added before taking a swig. The wolf nodded. "I was able to take on Talrik as a crewmember because I had the credits to spare. Unfortunately, if Master Skywalker is serious about trying to knight me it probably means he wants to make me an official part of the Praxeum instead of being contracted as a 'civilian instructor'- which also means I'll probably not get paid any longer, or if I do it'll be at a severely reduced rate." "Why does that matter?" Miles asked curiously. "It matters because if Locke and Keris aren't interested or comfortable joining the Jedi Order, then I at least want to hire you three, even though I can't pay you much," the wolf said with a sincere smile. "I can offer you all room and board for helping me, Syrra and Talrik, plus what little I make." Keris eyes widened. "Wait... you... you'd do that? For us?" The wolf waved dismissively. "It's no big deal on my end, Keris. I'm used to living on very little comfortably, no matter what Matriarch Bast thinks of it." "Who?" "Nevermind, we'll talk about [i]that [/i]unpleasant topic later." He glanced to his albino counterpart. "Anyway, Locke is going to tell Luke and the Council what the Circle is up to, correct?" "Absolutely," Locke replied, nodding seriously. "That means you and Miles will be invaluable to have around for your info and skills- but it also means that you'll be at risk. I think I'm right in saying Locke wouldn't be so ready to agree if he didn't think I'd do what I could to keep you and Miles safe as well- not that I don't doubt your abilities, but it'd be you three against who the hell knows how many Sith and the Imperial Remnant. And as Syrra told me when she tried convincing me to take on Talrik, we'll likely need all the help we can get." He glanced at Locke again, who nodded in agreement. "I have more than enough room for you three, and if it comes to it I could ask Lynch where I can purchase parts to modify the [i]Rush [/i]for more living space, if you guys want extra privacy- there are a few 'empty' parts in the ship nobody ever filled before Kane got his paws on it." "You've still got a lot of empty space in the armory," Talrik suggested. "More than enough to put a nice-sized bed and refresher." "Hell, I'll take that if nobody is using it," Miles said. "I've got experience as a security officer on multiple capital ships." "We'll figure that out later- but yeah, if we're going to be facing up to the Sith, we could use the extra hands, skill, experience and Force-ability. Besides," he added, his paw moving to Kane's pendant and fitting it back around his neck, "Talrik is right... Bran and Kane wouldn't have wanted me to be alone. And despite some of us having [i]rockier [/i]relationships," he said, looking between Keris and Syrra as he grabbed his Jedi weapon, reattaching it to his belt beneath his longcoat, "I'm pretty sure we can survive in close proximity without killing each other." Keris regarded the Trianii with narrowed eyes and a wry smile. "I suppose..." Syrra grinned. "I'll do my best not to bug you too much." "Then I suggest for the time being that you all stay on this ship as much as possible. I know it might get boring real quick, but I think it would be best if you three stay out of sight from the rest of the academy, at least until word gets around that you've left the Imperial Remnant and Sith, and are no longer associated with them." He paused, brightening slightly and rubbing his chin. "And while you guys are keeping low, I'll get in contact with an... [i]associate [/i]of mine, in the Corporate Sector Authority." Syrra's eyes narrowed. "That 'contact' of yours who keeps trying to reach you with jobs?" she said shortly. "I don't trust CorpSec, Kajex, you know that." The wolf nodded, wincing slightly. "I know, but Liam Valcane is a financial officer with them and I'm sure he can access their accounts and move their credits out of Remnant territories, even if they happen to get locked down and liquidated." He sighed. "I'd have to owe him a [i]favor [/i]for it, but I'll take care of that myself if I need to." Locke shifted uncomfortably. "Really, Kajex, you don't have to go to so much trouble..." "I'm aware I don't have to- but I'm sure it would really help, too," he replied. "So, if there's anything else I can do...?" The white wolf looked pleased, though still a little apprehensive. "You've done a lot for us, for [i]me[/i], in just the last 48 hours, Kajex. I don't feel right asking for anything more." Keris cleared her throat. "I know what the answer will probably be, but... our weapons?" The Sentinel averted his eyes, ears drooping slightly as he remembered that the trio had turned their weapons in. "I think after Locke discusses things with the NRI and Luke, it should be alright to ask then. Until then, though... I'm sorry. That goes for the weapons in the armory, too." Keris nodded, managing to smile. "It's no big deal, Captain. Truth is, I wouldn't trust me either, were I in your position. Still, if only to keep active..." "We should have a few training sabers in the armory," Syrra offered. "You're welcome to them if you'd like to spar, they're permanently set to non-lethal settings. In fact, if you promise not to try to kill me, I would be happy to spar against you." Keris smirked. "You think you can take me, bitch?" The Trianii smirked back. "There's no way to be sure until you've got the guts to test me, cunt," she replied. Keris stared at her for a moment, then chuckled. "Fine, I might take you up on that." It was as if the two had not once tried to kill each other, Kajex mused. "Well, other than that, just remember the rules- no being in the cockpit unless Syrra or I are controlling it; keep in mind the crew fresher hatch doesn't lock properly; if you see a ship vermin scuttling around, do your part and kill it through whatever means necessary short of explosives; throw your trash away after you're done with it; and go easy on the noodles, I want to make them last before I have to pay Retsa for another year's shipment. And if you see Captain Lynch trying to take them without asking, be a pal and kick his ass down the ramp for me." He glanced at the three new guests. "Anything else we should cover?" Locke looked pensive for a moment before shaking his head. "Nothing that comes to mind, Kajex." The wolf nodded, sighing. "Alright then. If you guys don't mind, I'm going to take a short nap, then. Talking about all this..." He paused for a moment, his throat feeling a little dry. "... Let's just say it wasn't easy and I need a little time to myself." He smiled blandly. "I mean, I know as host I should be attempting to entertain my guests, but..." Locked shook his head, gazing at him sympathetically. "Don't be silly, Kajex- after everything you shared just now, there's no reason why you shouldn't want some time to reflect." "Locke's right," Syrra agreed, reaching over and squeezing his paw. "Take as much time as you need, Kaj. We can talk when you're feeling better." She leaned over, kissing the side of his muzzle, leaving a slight tingle on the spot. "Love you, hon." He managed a stronger, more positive smile. "Love you too, kitten." Feeling marginally better, he got up and left for his quarters. Rest came with difficulty for Kajex. The concerns and fears of the last few days had melded with the tragedies and hardships he had described in his past, such that even within his rested mind he felt conflicted. But he at least no longer dreamed of Katarr. When it had just been him, it was a dream of being on its surface, standing over the open graves of his fathers, as he watched friends and past lovers walk slowly and mechanically into one grave or the other, their screams renting through the air as he could do nothing but watch. Retsa, Garsh, their children, Rik- each one disappeared into the ground. When Syrra had some into his life, he dream had changed. She, too, would attempt to walk into the abyss- only for a giant shadow with a red lightsaber to cut her down from behind, the Trianii falling over and staring at him, pleading with her last few breaths not to die, until she became still and her cold, lifeless eyes stared up at him. This was a dream he once had frequently, but not for the last couple of nights, which was a comfort to him. Yet now the fear of loss became more pronounced- whatever she had said to him about wanting to be by his side, he dreaded he might still lose her for not being honest with her. His eyes flicked open with a sigh. It was almost as if he [i]hadn't [/i]gotten any rest, at least where it concerned his thinking processes. Feeling physically rested, if not mentally, he got back up and sat on the side edge of the bed. He needed to talk to her. "[i]... Syrra?"[/i] "[i]Who...? Oh, Kajex... Did you need something?"[/i] "[i]Yeah... I wanted to go on a walk and... if you have time, I'd like you to come with. Could you meet me outside the ship?"[/i] "[i]Of course, give me a moment."[/i] He grabbed a pair of trousers and slipped them on, reaching out mentally and tracking every life form on the ship- Talrik and Miles were in the armory, no doubt talking weapons; Locke and Keris were in the galley eating; Syrra, meanwhile, seemed to have been idling in the engine room, which struck the wolf as odd. He wondered briefly if perhaps she had needed time to herself as well. Noting that it was getting close to sunset, he pulled on his boots, a shirt and finally, after hesitating a moment, a holster belt with his lightsaber. He stared at it for a few moments. It had been at least a year since he had actually used it, though his relationship with Syrra had kept his skills sharp. He reflected on his combat history, on the lightsabers he had wielded since they had met. Keris' lightsaber, briefly though he had used it, functioned well; he had to admit that Syrra's weapon seemed to have accepted him completely; and even Locke's felt comfortable and familiar in his grip. He smiled to himself as he hooked his own back onto the belt, getting up and moving to the armory- regardless of how comfortable their weapons felt, his lightsaber alone seemed like an extension of his own paw, and it felt great being able to use it again. Throwing on his longcoat and stretching a bit, he made for the armory. Sure enough, Talrik and Miles were in an amicable discussion with each other as they talked about a few of the armory's inventory. They both looked up as Kajex started keying in the code to get a pistol out. "Something up, Kaj?" Talrik asked, looking a little concerned. "Nah," the wolf replied honestly. "I just feel like going for a walk to the ruins, clear my head a bit, but you know what it's like out there. Syrra and I will be back later." Talrik nodded. "Alright, you guys be careful then. You both might be Jedi, but battle hydras don't care- you taste the same as a non-sensitive," he quipped with a grin. The wolf managed to smile back, holstering a blaster before heading down to the galley, peering in. "Hey Loc--" He stopped short. Keris was laying on the table, her Sith apprentice robes open and breasts bared to her lover as her legs entwined around her Locke's waist, drawing him in good and tight. Locke looked up, eyes wide as he remained tied with the vixen. "... Ah... hello, Captain," Locke managed to say between heavy breaths, grinning sheepishly. Keris looked up, freezing as her eyes rested on the wolf and looking completely petrified. Kajex raised an eyebrow, doing his best to keep his face neutral otherwise. "... Right. So, I'm gonna go for a walk with Syrra, I'll be back a little bit later. Be sure you guys clean up after you're done, there's sanitizer beneath the basin." He turned to leave, pausing for a moment and allowing himself to grin as he turned back. "By the way... lookin' good, you guys. Have fun." Locke's face relaxed and he chuckled, as Keris went red and buried her face in the white wolf's chest- though Kajex noticed she was smiling shyly. "We will," Locke assured him. "For a moment I thought you were going to kill me." "Nah, go nuts," Kajex said, chuckling with his pale counterpart. "Seriously, though- clean up after." Syrra waited patiently at the base of the ramp, eyes flicking around the near-empty hangar. It had not escaped her notice that, apart from the few technicians still doing maintenance on a handful of starfighters, a pair of wandering security officers kept glancing at her direction, at the [i]Gold Rush[/i]. She frowned, watching as they ambled past the freighter in muttered voices- as if she was not aware of what they were saying. She didn't even need to probe their minds, her keen sense of hearing picking up on key phrases; 'Sith', 'crazy', 'wolf', 'dark side', and 'traitor'. She took in a deep breath, let half of it out. There was no sense in being angry about it. She was better than that, had been better about her behavior when Kajex had taught her to loosen up and not bother with the animosity directly, but roll and work with it. Still, she gave them a hard stare as they walked by, the heat of her eyes convincing them to keep moving. Hearing boots thumping at the top of the ramp she turned, eyes falling on the wolf as he put his paws in his coat and strode down into the hangar. "Hey," he said quietly. There was an uncertainty in his smiles as he said it, a look of worry in his golden eyes that she didn't miss- guessing quickly what the problem might be and deciding not to call it out, she smiled sincerely and got to her feet. "Did you rest well, love?" she asked, as she walked by his side. "Not really," Kajex said heavily. "More nightmares?" He shook his head. "I don't expect to have anymore of them, now that Katarr is past. I was dreaming of it, of everyone dying," he said quietly. "Even you. Made it hard to sleep sometimes. But like I said, no more of those, I don't think." She nodded as she followed him out past the hangar blast doors. "So what kept you up this time?" she asked softly. "A few personal worries," he said, looking hesitant. She pressed him. "You don't need to hide it. You've spent the last 7 months with me hiding something big, but besides that you've often been forthcoming." His ears flattened as they walked past the tarmac. "I appreciate you saying that, but how do you know for sure?" She stopped, grabbing his arm gently and turning him to her with a smile. "You told me, the morning after we first made love, that you were hiding something that you felt terrible for hiding- that it pained you every day you kept it hidden because you felt you should have told me. You were honest about your discretion, and you even promised you would reveal it to me. And you did, Kajex- sooner and more unexpected than you anticipated, but you did. You could have just not said anything at all." Her paw shifted down his arm and into his, clasping it. "You were angry." She nodded, guiding him as they walked. "It was still a deception, and it was unpleasant to learn you couldn't trust me with a secret that big. So yes, I was angry... at least until I realized that the deception was much more complicated than you not telling me you were a Jedi, that it involved your father and your need to veil yourself from the Imperial Remnant." Kajex seemed to look a little better. "I still feel like something is missing. Like... something I can do to make it up to you." "If you want that," she said stopping again as they reached the underbrush of the jungle, "then would you promise to me you won't keep anything like this away from me in the future? To be able to trust in me and my abilities instead of trying to protect me from whatever uncomfortable truths I might have to face?" He took her other paw, nodding. "Absolutely." She smiled, reaching up and touching his face, her fingers tracing across the golden band running across the side of his muzzle. "I have to accept that you may sometimes have to keep things from me; but I also have to remember that you mean no harm in doing it. Do you remember on AS-303, when I nearly abandoned the Trianii prisoners just so I could die at your side?" He nodded, looking happier. "Iaora told me that was how she knew you were in love with me." "And I told you later I was worried I was straying from the path of the Jedi by nearly abandoning them. But then you told me that it was okay, that you didn't think less of me. You told me that love isn't always rational, and that it's capable of making us do unreasonable things. Like what you did." "You're right, Syrra," he sighed. "I was being irrational about it all..." "I know you were," she said, nuzzling into him. "For example; past a certain point, what could have prevented you from training me with your mental conditioning and Sentinel techniques, so that others wouldn't be able to penetrate my mind so easily?" The wolf's mouth hung open as he stood in front of her, looking stunned. "... I... don't even know why I didn't consider that, Syrra," he said, his face falling. "Fuck... I didn't [i]need [/i]to keep this a secret from you after all..." He put a paw to his face, looking upset, but she continued to smile, taking his paw and nuzzling beneath his chin. "Like you said, Kajex- love is capable of making us do unreasonable things. That's how I know you love me so much, you silly pup." She guided him deeper into the underbrush. "Did you have an idea of where you wanted to go?" she asked. He shook his head. "Not really. Maybe past the ruins, towards the lake. It's peaceful there, sometimes I just skip rocks across the surface while you're studying and I'm bored." She grinned. "Sounds like a good idea to me." "I thought we were gonna skip rocks." Syrra laughed, tossing aside her robes. "Is that an objection?" she asked. The wolf chuffed in amusement. "Am I still wearing my pants? Then let's do this." She snickered, sticking a bare foot into the water, shivering slightly as the cool water soaked into her fur, sliding the rest of her leg in. From her seat, she slid into the pool, sighing as her bare body sank into the water. She turned in time to see a gray blur sprint from the shelf of rock she had just gotten off, leaping high into the air and taking the form of a ball. A wet crash preceded an enormous spray of water as the wolf's body displaced and tossed up water into the air, the Trianii hiding her face and laughing as the splash matter her upper body and face. The wolf surfaced a moment later, shaking his face and hair with a grin. "Sorry, I should've given you more warning." She smirked. "So should I." "For what?" "This!" She lifted a paw and thrust her paw out, using the Force to propel a jet of water at his face, the wolf sputtering and falling over as she giggled. A yelp rang out from her muzzle as he returned fire with a playful growl. Before long they were engaging in an impromptu water-fighter, explosive splashes kicking up water and unsettling the surface of the lake. She was hardly aware of the passage of time as they continued to play, swimming beneath the surface of the slowly darkening lake. An unspoken game between them played out, each of them keeping their eyes closed as they attempted to detect and chase each other using nothing but the Force to guide them. Every time victory was achieved, it became easier, their bond strengthening as they laughed, embraced, kissed. Before she knew it, Yavin was overhead and the stars were shining bright, illuminating the area just enough that they could see perfectly. They neared the shore after about an hour, when Syrra decided to toss another wave of water at the wolf. He yelped as he was completely re-soaked, retaliating quickly- she dodged and sent another splash. He raised his paw, the water repelled from him and sliding sliding away as if blocked by a completely invisible windowpane. A full grin was on his face. "Now you try. Focus." She blinked, then nodded with a matching grin, watching as he thrust his palm at and tossed a jet of water towards her. She attempted to focus- only to sputter as it hit her full in the face, shaking her head and pushing her bangs out of her eyes. "How do you do it?" she asked. He smiled, shrugging. "I had a lot of practice, had to use a certain mindset to get good at it. It doesn't take too long to get it. Try again- don't think of it as trying to catch the water before it hits, just put something up before it does," he advised kindly. Stepping back a bit to put space between them, she started mentally preparing herself as he drew back and swept his arm over the water's surface, kicking up another deluge of water. A pulse of energy popped from her palm in return, splashing water in every direction and knocking the incoming downpour away from her. Kajex staggered back with a barking laugh, covering his face with an arm as it rained several meters around them. "Okay, that was much better- a little more excitable, but it worked." He swam towards her, getting to his feet as he reached the shallows. "Lemme try something that might help," he suggested, getting up behind her and holding her from behind, nuzzling into her neck as she purred. "Mmm... how is this meant to help?" she asked. "Not that I'm going to stop you, I'm ready to learn, [i]Master[/i]." Warmth on her wrists caused her to look down- he had taken her paws and cupped them together beneath the surface. "The hardest part about telekinesis," the wolf said softly, "is knowing how to handle things that aren't as easy to carry. Rocks, wood, cargo containers, steel- these are things you know about, handle frequently. You may not know every detail, but they're all solid, all relatively easy to handle because you know what to expect- all of the mass is in a self-contained shape that doesn't deform easily. But with liquids, especially water..." he said, lifting her paws up into a makeshift bowl, "... [i]you [/i]have to provide the vessel the water stays in- give it a shape that's at least halfway consistent. And [i]that [/i]requires knowing what it feels like." With his muzzle right next to her ear she could hear his breathing slow down, but her eyes remained fixed on the miniature pool of water in her paws. It seemed to ripple for a moment before slowly gliding upwards, as if being poured up into the air from her hands into a floating, malformed glob of liquid. Distortions of their surroundings reflected in the undulating, quivering mass as drops leaked from the base. "Help me form it," he muttered into her ear, sounding relaxed and at peace. Casting a brief glance at the wolf and seeing he was engaged in intense focus, she obliged, reaching out and putting her mental energy towards aiding him. Through half-closed eyes, she saw the glob of liquid ripple again as her influence was added. Deep in her mind she could perceive, without touching, the sensation of the cool water as it continued to float in midair, and it was this perception she focused on, becoming filled with understanding. A moment later, she directed that understanding towards the glob, the liquid rippling again as the surface seemed to solidify, as if settling within a transparent, invisible oblate orb. Small droplets of water continued to drip from the base of the orb as it ceased to quiver, becoming almost glass-like, suspended inches away from her face. Half a minute passed as she gazed at the waterball. Then there came a change in the effort it took to maintain it, the surface beginning to quiver again. She redoubled her focus, breathing in deep and pouring her concentration towards maintaining that shape. Though the ripples remained, the water sphere did not collapse and the shape remained mostly consistent. Time passed, though she could not tell how long- a few minutes, maybe more. But it occurred to her eventually that she alone was the only one maintaining the sphere, the wolf merely watching, smiling. "... You're not...?" He shook his head. "I showed you how, and now it's all you. Now breathe in deep and slow, kitten." She did as asked, inhaling slowly, smoothly and deeply. "As you let it out, release a hole in the vessel and let it trickle out." It came to her easily. She released her breath gently in a smooth exhale, and as she did so a small hole seemed to have formed at the base of her invisible vessel. A steady, smooth stream of liquid poured from the base, matching the rate at which she drained her lungs, until the last drop splashed into the lake. She smiled to herself. Expecting the task to have strained her energy and concentration, she had performed it satisfactorily, at least from her uneducated point of view. She turned to thank her lover, only to see a sad smile on his face. "This... this is something I should have taught you a long time ago," he said softly. "I'm sorry I never did." She leaned into him, nuzzling into his cheek. "We have a lot of ground to cover, it's true... but I know you'll do great. You're an excellent teacher, Kajex- I never could have figured this out on my own." Her reassurances seemed to make his smile a bit brighter. "Don't sell yourself short, Syrra. You would have been able to do this if you'd had the mind to, with a couple of weeks to practice. You're [i]that [/i]good. I just... made it easier." He sighed. "Back in the old order, Grand Master Yoda would have all the children, me included, practice sand levitation. No real connection between teacher and student, just 'here's a pile of sand; have at it and good luck'." The wolf chuckled. "Skywalker's academy here is... better. More efficient. I like the idea of both the student and the teacher learning from each other. I just wish I had come sooner." "So you could learn more from him?" "No." He wrapped his arms around her waist, gazing gently into her eyes. "So I could've met you earlier." Waist deep in cool water as the jungle's nighttime fauna cried into the night, Syrra had never felt safer or more comfortable in her lover's arms as they kissed deeply. No threat of predator unnerved her as she shared a tender moment with the wolf, purring against his chest. Warmth bloomed in her loins as a tendril of thought drifted from the wolf's mind into hers, expressing a single desire. "[i]I need you."[/i] "[i]You have me," [/i]she answered. She let out a soft gasp as he lifted her up, carrying her out of the lake, their drenched, matted fur dripping into the pool as he moved her towards the shore. Their thighs were still submerged as she felt herself pressed against a tall, cold boulder. Lips locked again as he pressed into her body, the thick sheath at his groin brushing shamelessly against her cleft and drawing out mewls that melted into his muzzle. A pang of disappointment throbbed in her chest as he drew away, only for elation to replace it a moment later as she witnessed the wolf lowering himself. Careful paws held her in place as an experienced muzzle caressed through her damp fur. Flutters of delight rushed through her belly as his lips paused at key points through her body- first to her full breasts, his tongue grazing against the pert nipples, alternating between nipping them playfully, licking them gently or suckling them erotically, sending the sensation of warm, incredible tugs of pleasure through her tits. Dipping lower, he planted kisses down her cleavage and below, his hot breath washing over the center of her abs before his tongue lashed out and struck against one of her vestigial teats. She cried out- half a year of incredible sex between them had not dulled the sensation. Dizziness came to her as he kissed, suckled and nuzzled each of her 4 secondary nipples, her back arching as she moaned. She felt his arms beneath her thighs and she spread them apart, lifted higher against the rock a moment later as her legs rested on his shoulders. She knew what came next, but as always felt herself unprepared for it. His longer muzzle nuzzled into the soft patch of pubic fluff above her clit. Through half-lidded eyes, she could see him inhale her scent, long and deep, before nuzzling lower. Jolts of hard ecstasy struck her nerves as his lips pinched gently around her clit, her back arching again as she started to reflexively claw at the boulder. Moments later his thick, long tongue delved between her folds and swirled through her nethers, enough so that his tongue may as well have been swirling through her thoughts and consciousness for all the dizzying bliss it brought her. Dimly aware that her loins were moistening even without taking the excess water matting her swollen labia fur, she started trembling, less from the coolness of the air chilling her damp fur and more from the sweltering heat that had settled in her lower belly. Still pushed up against the rock, she felted herself being lowered slowly, the smooth stone brushing against her fur as her wolf lover stood back up at full height, wiping his lips. "[i]I'm glad you wanted to do something besides skipping stones," [/i]a quiet chuffing noise escaping him as he resorted to telepathy. She giggled, pulling him close and nuzzling beneath his jaw. "[i]So am I." [/i]A thick, gentle purr rumbled through her body as he held her sides. After a while he guided her with his grip, coaxing her to turn around and face the stone. A smile formed on her lips as she placed her paws overhead, bending over sharply and turning her head to give him a coquettish look through a relaxed, sultry gaze. Warmth burned in her cheeks as she blushed from his stare, and she found her eyes drawn down to his sheath, where his thick black wolfcock had escaped from its confines. He moved in behind her, pulling her back up and nuzzling into her neck. "You know... if you hadn't become a Jedi, I think you would have been an incredible porn star," he growled softly, his paws cupping her full breasts. Shivers ran down her spine as his 10-inch length slide up between her rump cheeks, pressing delicately against her tailhole. A mewl rolled out of her lips as he bit into her neck gently, the Trianii leaning her head to the side and offering it to him. "[i]You... you're not going to...?" [/i]Worry started to build up in her as he ground his length beneath her tail, but he smiled and shook his head. "[i]We have no lube. I wouldn't dare, it would hurt you too much."[/i] She arched an eyebrow, amused. "[i]Personal experience?"[/i] A blush filled his cheeks. "… [i]I'm not going to answer that."[/i] She laughed and raised her tail, spreading her legs apart for him as he bent his knees slightly. Firm flesh pressed firmly against her tight folds, causing Syrra to bite her bottom lip anxiously as the tapered point of his ebon shaft threatened to intrude- it did nothing more than muffle her gasp as her slick folds gave way to his prick, spreading apart as he penetrated deep into her cleft. Sudden weakness set into her legs as he buried the full 10 inches within her, forcing her to brace against the boulder for support as she struggled to stay upright. With his hips grinding hard against her ass and his tip nestled against her cervix, he set his paws on her rump and began to squeeze each cheek appreciatively. The sound of his quiet growling reached her ears as she clenched hard around his maleness- he hadn't even moved yet and she was already in physical paradise. When he did move, it was to the sound of Syrra's moaning. Inch after inch of rock hard flesh removed itself from her crevasse, the sensation of physical loss lasting only a moment as he drilled back in. Warm paws snaked up her body as she shook with the blow, her breasts bouncing up only to be caught in his palms and gently groped. Aching with need she pushed back against his hips, moving in time to match his pace as they mated. It was slow, achingly slow and powerful as he pistoned his hips in long, rolling circular motions, his thick flesh gliding smoothly back and forth through her gripping silken walls. His paws were not idle as he rocked against her. Between squeezing her breasts firmly, hefting them up in each hand and letting them bounce in his palms, teasing her vestigial nipples with quick, circular motions or running his fingers firmly into her back and soothing her shoulders; she was kept in a constant state of erotic bliss. With deliberate pacing he gradually quickened his thrusts, his heavy balls clapping smartly against her clit and sending hot sparks of pleasure up her belly. Despite bracing herself firmly against the boulder in front of her, it wasn't long before the side of her face was pressed up against its smooth surface, her back arched in a position that offered up her curved rump to the wolf's efforts. She wanted to speak to him, to let him know he was doing well, to beg him to go faster, or deeper; but for all her desire to speak, she found it nearly impossible to talk coherently, reduced to mewling and moaning as he rammed into her tunnel with increasing force. Before long, however, she sensed a tendril of thought reaching out to her. The familiarity was unmistakable and she invited it in, going into a light trance, focusing on her lover's thoughts as she submitted to his efforts to breed her. There were no words between them- instead of a telepathic conversation, she felt herself fall into him mentally, melding thoughts and feelings between them. She could feel every hard thrust into her cleft- from both points of view. She gasped as the sensation of being filled melded with the sensation of him filling her, a delicious ache in his, or her, balls building up as they bred. To feel the male sensations was nearly overwhelming, yet she sensed the wolf keeping her lucid enough to enjoy the experience, which was quickly becoming more vigorous. Linked in mind, body and spirit; drowning in the emotions of love and breathing in the haze of lust, she could do little more than moan louder. Pressed up hard against the boulder now, she felt the wolf turning her head, their lips meeting in an erotic kiss as she shook in place. Not even Kajex's hard bucking could loosen the lock between their muzzles, his smooth, thick tongue entwining with her thin, rough tongue. Those same bucking efforts bumped the tip of his wolfcock against the entrance to her womb, as he continued to spear his length repeatedly into her depths. She broke the kiss and let out a long mewl, as his paw snaked between her legs and began to assault her unprotected clit- the sensation affected the wolf too and he groaned loudly into her ear. Gasping as they shared each other's physical experiences, they reached out blindly and grabbed their free paw, holding it to their chest as they felt their knot begin to swell. The lines blurred and it became pointless for them to discern who was who, so mixed within each other that they shared the same two bodies. Thoughts and senses of incredible pleasure reverberated between the two, the base of their thick cock squeezing hard against their netherlips. Two different tails entwined with each other, as did their bodies and minds, wrapped so completely that they were neither Kajex nor Syrra, and yet both at once. They did not want to pull free from each other, to be separated so soon. But as they rolled their rumps back into their hips, the division started, even as they clung to remain one. They moaned, growled, mewled and panted as they felt their cleft give away, his knot beginning to succeed in battering past her tight, resisting folds. The connection was still there, deep enough so that they could feel each others heartbeats, matched to the pace of the wolf's frantic, desperate thrusts. Still holding his paw to her chest, tears of incredible joy and pleasure streaking down her face, she screamed, her loins burning with pleasure and desire as he finally tied with her. It was then she finally did speak, through her thoughts. "[i]Gods, Kajex...! I love you!"[/i] "[i]Fuck... I love you too... Syrra...! I...I'm going to...!"[/i] "[i]Claim me...! Make me your mate!!"[/i] Even after 7 months of the wolf filling her with seed, the sensation of his load burning in her lower belly did not fail to make her moan. A feral snarl escaped his muzzle as her heat was only made worse, and so much better, by the deluge of hot, rich seed that poured into the vessel of her unprotected womb. Expected as this was, she did not anticipate what came next. A thought, an imagined vision that was not her own flickered before her closed eyes, a vivid image of the Trianii being held from behind, a deep kiss being shared as her paw rested upon his, over her swollen belly. She could detect the stirrings of young, unborn life, a child conceived from their union and love. Every time a jet of the wolf's length poured more essence into her womb, she could see, even feel the gentle kicking of their offspring from within. Joy welled up in her as she started to perceive herself and her future husband in colors- his, a fiery light of gold; hers, a gentle aura of deep sapphire; and theirs, a swirl of both located beneath where their paws met. She opened her eyes, her vision blurred with tears as the image faded away and left reality in its place. Yet the scene was not wholly unchanged, as she [i]was [/i]being held from behind, and they [i]were [/i]sharing a deep kiss. And as her muzzle left his, she could see his paw was even stroking her unswollen, toned belly, her paw guiding it to the area just below the navel. She trembled, beautiful pain rending her heart as the impossibility of that scene became so cruelly apparent. A sob caught in her throat as she was reminded of Iaora, the mother she wished she had in blood, the mother who could not conceive and could only love deeply- of the bravery of her father and the devotion he possessed for Iaora despite being unable to sire her offspring. Her body shook and her strength nearly gave out. She knew Kajex could feel her bliss and her grief, the wolf holding her upright and quickly pulling out of her body, his throbbing length forgotten in the midst of her sadness. She felt herself being lifted and carried the few feet that remained to the shore, setting her down gently and kneeling by her side. She looked up just in time to see him wipe his eyes. "I'm... I'm sorry, Syrra... I shouldn't have... I didn't mean to upset you with that..." Pain was evident in his features, and she felt, through him, the longing and grief that he felt and shared. It was sharp and wrenching, not merely because it was here own, but because it was something he wanted as well, and lamented in being unable to give her. He held her paw, shaking visibly as that grief radiated from them both. Knowing how badly it hurt, not just for her but Kajex as well, she threw herself into his arms, crying freely. Yes, it had been painful to her- and yet with that pain came incredible joy. "[i]'That is what is known as devotion,'" [/i]she thought, memories of those words being spoken only 3 nights ago coming to the forefront. It took several minutes for them to both calm down, exhaustion setting in as the grief passed. She looked up, managing to smile shakily at the wolf. "Is that... what you dream of, Kajex?" she asked softly. He nodded, holding her close. "Just because it's unlikely to the point of impossibility, doesn't mean I don't want it. But if I could make it happen... I'd do what it takes, short of drawing from the dark side." Nothing he could have said could have made her love him more deeply at that moment. Grief was displaced with that intense affection as she hugged him tight. "Thank you... I'm glad you showed me something that... beautiful," she said, inwardly feeling there were no words to describe how perfect the scene looked. "Even if I could never have it, knowing that I'd have [i]you [/i]is more than enough. Knowing that... that [i]certainty[/i], that you look forward to a life with me, and knowing for certain I would give anything to share it with you..." She drew back, smiling. "I know what my answer is." He nuzzled her. "So... does that mean...?" "I'm ready." "Syrra... before I ask..." She held her breath as he smiled back down at her. He did not say anything, not immediately- instead, he reached both paws behind his neck, unclasping the Trianii pendant Kane had given, a silver disc holding a Healing Crystal of Fire within, hanging securely from a chain of durasteel links. His golden eyes rested on it for a few moments before he looked back up. "... I've had this pendant for nearly 20 years, now. It was a gift from one of my fathers, long before he passed away. I've only ever used it a handful of times, and I've always had to keep its true nature a secret- even from you, for a while. It's a secret I've never trusted with anybody else." The Trianii's eyes widened as he reached over her shoulders and past her neck, the pendant resting just above her bust as he reclasped it around her neck. "That changes today." A lump formed in her throat, the significance of his gesture not lost to her at all. "Kajex..." she started. He put a paw to her lips, cutting her off. "No... this is my way of reestablishing our trust- by letting you share in a secret I've had for 2 decades, trusting in you and your abilities to keep a powerful relic, and more importantly a memento from my deceased parents, safe. I know you'll never let anyone have it, and I know you have the wisdom and skill to make the best possible use of it." He smiled sincerely. "Besides... it's the closest thing I have to an engagement ring." "Kaj...!" Tears began to run down her face again as she got to her knees- she had been ready for him to propose, and completely unprepared for that preparation to be shattered when he'd given her his pendant. Their eyes met, gold and sapphire, as he took her paws into his. "Syrra, when the day comes that we both stand as equals, when we both stand as Jedi Knights... on that day, will you marry me?" In lieu of speaking she instead lunged forward, the wolf catching her in his arms as she cried joyfully, laughing and purring as they kissed. The only words she offered were those that echoed in both their minds. "[i]Yes... I will."[/i]