Thus Spoke the Horse Cock
-a grrside story-

My story began not unlike your life did: with an absolutely monstrous morning wood that just wouldn’t go down.

And oh, man...! What a magnificent and venerable erection it was! A hard and veiny untamable beast unable to remain still! The handsomely pumped shaft stood at a perfect 90º degree angle above the balls but who am I kidding, the real shocker about this excellent specimen of manhood was its size! Want to know how big it was? Heh, this monstrous organ was attached to a horse dude... Do I really need to say anything else? Actually, yes I do! Because this horse cock was the fucking elite of equine cocks! If you were to gather every horse pornstar in the industry right here they’d run away ashamed of the pathetic bite-sized wieners they had as puny excuses of a real man’s meat!

...Um? Are you wondering why am I so acquainted with the beauty of this horse’s genitals? Hah! That’s because the giant horse cock is actually ME, you silly thing!

As I was saying, this story began with a HUGE morning wood. Fuck yeah, the throbbing erection was making me, the absolutely gigantic horse cock, soar to the skies. My dark skinned organ of a body was pointing up, not towards the ceiling but much farther than that. Were I a rocket, I’d have enough fuel to traverse sixteen solar systems and beyond. Yes, this horse cock was so fucking hard it could launch itself into orbit! And I just needed ignition from mission control!

“...ZZZZzzzzzz.” Zeno snored loudly. 

...Fuck. Manned rockets needed input from mission control to be able to lift off, and this was the same for cocks. As much as my shafty self wanted to soar the skies using the horse cum stored in my hairy testicles as fuel, I needed my owner’s help if I wanted to reach orgasm.

I was owned by an anthro horse guy named Zeno. His muscular body was covered with a dark brown coat and a very messy black mane that was always kept at an extremely long length because the proud bastard didn’t want anyone to notice that he had been born without a tail, he was too much of a prude for that. He was a giant dude of a horse that worked as a personal fitness coach during the day and spent most of his free time bulking out at that same place at night. Most people agreed that he had a handsome face with beautiful blue eyes and that he was a sex symbol of a man... But really, don’t pay attention to Mr. Bright Eyes (my single piss slit was way more beautiful than both of those gross eyeballs anyway), the star of this story is me, the horse cock unfortunately attached to that idiot, understood?

Anyway, Zeno the dorkface was currently experiencing a hangover. He was sleeping and snoring loudly on top of his bed, not a single stitch of clothing covering his sweaty muscular body. He was completely unconscious, but his horse cock was wide awake and it wanted some action. Fortunately I had my own secret technique for these cases that I had christened as... “wet dream”!

I tried my best to transmit my hornyness into Zeno MacHorseface’s brain, something that all penises are experts in. But it was futile, the giant brute’s mind was completely blank and he just kept snoring. Fuck, the big fairy had to be going through one hell of a hangover.

“C’mon... C’mon...! Wake up...! Jerk me! Make me cum!” I tried to communicate to the huge mountain of a horse I belonged to.

But Zeno Hangoverface didn’t react. His mind was in a fairly deep slumber.

“FUCK! Zeno! Give me a hand down here! Or hump the bed or whatever, but do SOMETHING with me! Anything!”

Miraculously, Zeno suddenly lowered his hand and reached out... for his buttocks, as  his equine anus itched against the mattress.

I was outraged! “Seriously?! You’re betraying me for that dirty ASSHOLE...?! Well, you know what? Screw you, Zeno! Seeing as you won’t play nice with me I won’t play nice with you either! I’m sick of playing second fiddle to you! This is the END of everything between us!” Thus spoke my horse cock self, and just as I had finished prophesying the apocalyptic fate of Zeno’s control over me, the link between horse and horse cock was instantly severed. No longer were we a single being...! I could feel the flesh keeping us stuck together get painlessly unglued...!  I sprung out away from Zeno’s body with a gentle thrust forward, walked a few steps on the bed with the help of my black testicles and looked at the emasculated remains of the horse’s body with prideful glee. Here he was, Zeno Whateverface, a muscular naked stud... with absolutely nothing hanging between his legs! Ha!

“That’ll show you, ungrateful bastard!” I spat at my former prison, a few drops of sticky greenish semen splashing against the horse’s abs and then slowly dripping into the inside of his bellybutton. “You’re lucky you’re sleeping face up, or that would have been your asshole, jackass!”

My horse cock body jumped down in the floor and I gave my body a few morning stretches by swaying my still rock-hard erection from side to side. “Woah, feels amazing! I should have done this so long ago!” My pisshole smiled with mischievousness. It was a real pain always being tucked away inside Zeno’s underwear... I felt so free! There wasn’t any scar on the base of my shaft or anything that indicated I was ever attached to that muscular airhead of a horse, and I could feel how I was the one in complete control of my own body for a change.  I ran towards the open wide bedroom door using my cum-filled testes as feet. “Muahahaha! This is going to be my greatest fap in ages!” I declared as I left my former owner behind.

Giant sleeping Zeno remained on his bed, completely unaware of the adventure the set of horse genitals he used to own was about to embark into. His crotch was completely smooth, no indication of a horse cock ever being there except for a few pubic hairs that hid a small vestigial pisshole. The emasculated beast snored and scratched his dirty anus with his big fingers once again.

***

Let’s proceed by listing some of the totally awesome thingies you could do on your own after being stuck as someone else’s concealed body part for 30 years:

Awesome thingie #1: Write an autobiographical book discussing the philosophical implications of being a dude’s sentient cock.
Awesome thingie #2: Spend profits of aforementioned book on funding a non-profit organization to defend the right of genitals worldwide to become legal entities if they so wish.
Awesome thingie #3: Create a social network account to promote penis rights. Make #DicksArePeopleToo trending topic. Confess plans for world domination to a donkey’s dick through Direct Messages.
Awesome thingie #4: Sue that social network for banning your completely non-sexual profile pic. You were flaccid on it, dammit!
Awesome thingie #5: Jack off.

I don’t know about you but I’m a horse cock so obviously I was deeply seduced by the idea of doing #5 all fucking day long. My whole body felt so hard and sensitive that I could inch around like a worm and I would leave a trail of my spunk everywhere. And you know, that’s what I was planning to do, some friction here and there, hump the carpet and piss on some furniture later on but as I was busy walking using my huge black testicles as feet to parade my rock-hard morning mood through the apartment hallway, I catched a glimpse of a huge shadow moving towards the kitchen.

“...Heh! Why waste my energy making love to the floor when I’ve got a nice prey to fuck available right here?” I smirked to myself.

To be honest I had no idea who the shadow belonged to. Not like I cared, of course. I’m a horse cock, as long as there was a warm hole available I’d rip it apart like a wild wolf tears a rabbit’s neck apart with its fangs. I’d fuck that metaphorical wolf. And the headless rabbit too if I’d felt like it.

I channeled my inner predator and so began the hunt. I stealthy pursued the shadow towards the kitchen... Well, as stealthy as big fucking horse cock could move around sporting a big ass erection pulsating with a rhythmic beat! My huge balls were sweating bullets! And I was leaving a musky horse cock scent all over the carpet but that was Zeno’s problem.

Not like the shadow was being too careful about not being caught either. The shadow had arrived to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and was causing a ruckus rummaging through all the leftovers while mumbling to itself. “Mmmm... I’m sure there were some sausages on there... Did Zeno eat them...? No, that huge stud didn’t earn those abs eating hot dogs so... That means *I* ate them? All of them?! Gee, I think I may be gaining a little weight...”

I made my grand entrance by seducing my prey with a subtle pick-up line:
“Hey, FATSO! Look no further because I’m all the MEAT you’ll ever need! Spread your BUNS wide open because I’m heading right inside your CUNT, you hopeless VIRGIN!”

The obese figure turned around, shocked to hear an unknown voice right behind him mutter such a poetic and sensual mating call.

The light from the refrigerator illuminated his completely out-of-shape frame letting me for the first time to take a good look at the fatso I’d just politely asked for a good ol’ fuck. His overweight body was covered by soft yellow fur and some battered tight briefs which used to be white. Those pesky undergarments didn’t let me see his cock but assessing his bulge I wasn’t missing much. But his backside... Holy shit! He had two big hairy cushions back in there! I wanted to take a deep dive between them and find out how his asshole was like. It must be so fucking tight, because with the huge mantits his flabby torso sported I don’t imagine this fat fag ever getting laid.

Oh, and I guess I should also add that he was a cat, so his ugly face had pointy ears, whiskers and such but I was more interested in getting acknowledged with his anus.

“How come you’re still wearing those annoying undergarments?!” I spat a splurge of precum right at his face, which was still frozen solid in a state of shock. “Get on all fours already you fag!”

“AAHHHH!” He screamed like a scared girl. “A talking dildo!”

“...Talking dildo...? Talking DILDO?!” My slit opened wide in disapproval. “I’m the real deal, you talking cunt! You virgins can’t even tell the difference between silly plastic and an actual package of horse cock and testicles! You think these are fake?!” I propulsed my phallic body with my balls and launched myself right towards his head. His feline eyes opened wide in horror but unfortunately he closed his mouth just before I could make him taste my ballsack, my manly pubic hairs bruising against his sissy goatee instead. Not wanting to give up the foreplay, I pressed down on his nostrils with my right testicle. “Yeah! Take a good whiff at your breakfast! Smell it well! It’s overflowing with my seed!”

The cat looked incredibly disgusted by the musk emanating from my hairy balls. The bastard tried to hold his breath for a good while. He was about to use his paws to yank me from his face, but the prospect of actually touching a live smelly piece of man meat made him hesitate.

I looked down at him. His eyes followed my dickhead around, still not believing what he was seeing. His face eventually started to turn purple and suddenly I realized this was bad news so I jumped into a nearby kitchen cabinet so he could recover his breath.

“Agh! Uff...!” The cat grasped for fresh air on the floor and his face recovered his natural orangish color. “Oh, god...! For a second I thought those horse balls were going to murder me by suffocation...!”

“Don’t worry.” I answered, trying to calm the fat cat down. “I realized at the last second that your asshole could become too cold if you died before we fucked but I won’t ever let that happen, my orgasm will be monumental!” I stated with fierce determination in my words.

The cat smiled. “Ah, that’s very considerate!” Then the joy suddenly disappeared from his face. “Wait... So you weren’t worried about me at all, you were just concerned about my death ruining your orgasm?!”
I cocked my dickhead to the side. “Um? Why? Is there anything more important than my orgasm?” I laughed. The very notion of something like that ever existing was too absurd for me.

The cat stood up. “Than that settles it. You’re a real dick.” He shrugged and took a closer look at me.

“Uh? What settles it?” I wondered, but the cat’s stare was making me hornier so I quickly forgot about the whole thing. “Hey, how come you’re still wearing underwear?”

The cat completely ignored my question as he kept looking at me all over. “This is so surreal... Who are you? Were you born from magic, voodoo or are you an evil spawn from hell?”

“That’s easy.” I answered. “I’m a horse cock. Let’s fuck.”

“But that doesn’t make sense...! And I’m not g-...!” He stammered. “I mean, I’m not the sort of guy who likes... You know... I’m not a...” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word. He must have some sort of complex.

“Not a fag?” I finished the line for him.

He awkwardly nodded.

“I see.” My dickhead nodded as well. “Let’s fuck.”

“I just told you I’m not g- g- g-...! I mean, how am I gonna have sex with a sentient penis!?”

“Well, first step, you take off those briefs...”

“That’s not what I meant! Look, you look nice, you look tasty, but my family wouldn’t approve of me being g- g- g-...”

“Just shut up and let me fuck you, Harold!” I commanded.

“Huh?” The cat blinked a few times. “How come you know my name?”

Oh, that was a good question. I just remembered when I heard him being unable to say the word “gay”. That made me remember some conversations Zeno had with his roommate Harold. Of course, I had never seen Harold’s overweight cat body before because I’m a cock and we cocks usually spend most of our time in the darkness of tight pieces of underwear. Believe me, I wish Zeno freeballed more often. To be honest, I think I saw Harold once. Zeno was fapping me in the bathroom and Harold didn’t knock. “Oh, fuck!”, both of them exclaimed in unison, and then Harold closed the door in a hurry.

“Yeah, I think that’s when I met you for the first time.” I told him about the memory. “I remember your face all red and funny-looking. And you’ve gained some weight since then.”

“Wait are you for real?! You were THAT cock?! You’re... Zeno’s cock?!”

“I’m not Zeno’s cock anymore. I’m riding solo at the moment. His loss.” I said with contempt. I didn’t need that smug loser telling me where to go to. And as a certain frog well-versed in the craft of smut fiction from the faraway lands of Spain once said: “an erected penis sees everything further ahead than the eyes of its beholder”, so I’ll be just fine by myself.

Harold’s mouth hung open. “But if you’re here, then...” Harold sprinted towards Zeno’s bedroom. Woah, his flabby body bouncing around was mesmerizing to watch. I wanted to fuck him even harder now, so I followed him.

Back in Zeno’s room, the castrated horse was still snoring. Harold seemed a bit reluctant to look at the muscular horse’s naked body but he quickly realized the gelding had nothing exposed for him to see.

Harold’s eyes darted from Zeno’s blank crotch, then at me, then back at Zeno’s lack of a bulge once again. “Oh, fuck... Oh fuck, fuck, fuck...!” He got out from the bedroom and into the living room to sit down at the sofa and bury his face in his hands. I had no idea what hit him. I followed him as fast as my still-full testicles let me.

“Why so down?” I asked him. “Want to know what’ll make you feel better? A good fuck.” I stood with a proud erection.

“This is wrong. Very, very wrong!” The cat said. “I’ve always wished in secret to become intimate with Zeno, but this is not what I wished for at all! I feel like some higher being is having a blast right now, watching me suffer!” Harold confessed.

“Oh, so you want me to roleplay as Zeno during sex. You should have said that from the start. I can imitate his voice very easily, I have been part of him for over 30 years after all!”

“I have the penis of the love of my life right here. It would be so easy to use it to satisfy my deepest desires without actually having to go through the pain of coming out to my family or fearing rejection from Zeno...”

“So what’s the problem?” I asked him. “You get to suck the cock of your desires. I get to fuck. Nobody else will know, not even Zeno. It’s a zero-risk, 100% reward plan!”

“But...” He looked at me with teary eyes. I could tell his bulge looked bigger than before. He looked down at it his own erection in embarrassment. “I’m such a mess. Of course Zeno would never love me. He’d never let me play with his cock willingly. I’ve lived with him for years but I’ve never made a single step to try and tell him about my feelings. But in the end, you were the one who came to me first!” He laughed in a sad manner. “This is so freaking ironic...”

He looked very sad. Even a dick like me could see that he was facing a serious dilemma about his life...

...But luckily I was there. And while I was there, I wouldn’t let his stupid depressing thoughts ruin my orgasm!

“Heh, Harold, you silly cat. You’re never going to get ahold of yourself by looking gloomy like that.” Said a very masculine and sexy voice.

Harold’s eyes opened wide open. For a second he had imagined Zeno was right there, ready to cheer him up with one of his speeches, but he quickly realized it was actually me, Zeno’s cock, talking with his voice.

“Do you know what works wonders for downer days like these? Working out a sweat!” It was just what that musclehead Zeno would say, and I made a perfect imitation of him. “You should come with me to the gym. Sweating your problems away is the best way to deal with them! And you’ll lose some weight at that! I can even give you some personalized regimes, if you’d like! You’ll burn that feline fat and turn it into hard muscle in less than three months, guaranteed!”

Harold burst out laughing. He smiled and kept up with my game. “Aww, Zeno! You know I’m just a lazy cat that would rather sleep day long, there’s no way I could keep up with your routines and strict diets!”

I smiled and lifted a testicle as if it were a strong bicep, assuming a jocky stance and attitude all the way. I had absorbed the role of Zeno himself. Heh, that shows you how easily that guy could be replaced by a talking dick!

“C’mon! Take off those tattered old briefs! We’ll break a sweat right here and now!” I commanded putting myself in jocky coach mode.

“What...? But, right here and wearing nothing at all...?”

“You don’t see me wearing a single stitch of clothing, don’t you?” I pointed my shaft at my exposed testicles. “We’re both men and you’re completely straight, right? Coaches get to see their athletes in the showers all the time, so it shouldn’t be a problem!”

“O...Ok, coach Zeno...” Harold stept up and finally removed his undergarments! His cock was tiny but also rock hard. It was nothing compared to a cock like me but I liked its eagerness. I should ask Harold’s penis if it wanted to go masturbate together some other time but right now my focus was on channeling my inner Zeno.

“Mmmm, much better! See how it wasn’t that big of a deal, you silly cat?” I jumped and slapped Harold’s buttcheek with my tip, not exactly as sexual foreplay but more like straight men horseplay in the showers. His tiny penis jumped in joy. Harold felt very at ease.

“But, coach Zeno...” Harold said.

“What is it, fluffball?” I asked still in Zeno-mode.

“Actually I lied. I’m not straight. I’m... g- g- g- gay!” Harold finally confessed. “And...I’ve always loved you!”

A strange rush went through all of my body. It was a very strange and pleasant feeling. Harold hadn’t done anything strictly sexual. He just finally overcame his fear of saying the word “gay” outloud. He just had finally made up his feelings after storing them away for all these years. I didn’t understand. It wasn’t directly tied to my orgasm, but it made me feel very happy. Why? Why did I feel so incredibly turned on by something so insignificant?

I guess it was something too complex for a dick like me to understand. But whatever. “I’ve always loved you too, Harold. You should’ve told me about it much sooner, hahaha.” I casually answered by giving him what he wanted to hear.

I commanded Harold to get on all fours. “And spread your hairy buns veeery wide! Not like my huge girth would have any problem forcing its way in...!”

“Mmm...” Harold’s big booty was sweating in anticipation. I could see his gaping hole yearning to be used for the first time. “Wait, shouldn’t you put on a condom? And what about lube-”

“Here I comeeeee!!!” I yelled like a savage and launched myself right into Harold’s hole.

“WAAAAAAAAAAARGH!” The cat’s eyes opened wide. Oh, god, he should have practiced with bigger dildos.

I gave a few tentative thrusts in the dark until I managed to meet Harold’s prostate.

“Oh, hi there!” I greeted it politely.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD ARE YOU CRAZY YOU’RE JUST TRESPASSING THROUGH THIS RECTUM AS IF IT WERE YOUR OWN HOUSE AND-” It reacted like most virgin prostates did, so I quickly accelerated my thrusting pace to shut the tiny thing up. They’re all whiny bitches at first, really.

“Warrgh! Be more gentle, please!” Harold complained.

Whoops, sorry.

After we took things slower Harold found it a deal more enjoyable. Not like I could tell from inside this dark cave. His giant sweaty buttocks squished my phallic body with each thrust. It felt amazing. I wanted to fill this virgin soil with my seed! Create rivers! Rivers of little white men! 

“Ahhhh, ahhhh!” I could tell Harold was nearing orgasm, and so was I. We came at about the same time. It was fucking awesome, Harold’s tiny cock had expelled a tiny stream of semen. He gasped in pleasure while I was too busy drowning in a lake of my own semen inside Harold’s buttocks to hear him.

***

“What the hell?!” Said Zeno’s voice. Only this time it wasn’t an impersonation. It was the real deal: the musclehead idiot Zeno had caught us in fraganti.

I’ve got to admit, with our cries and moans of pleasure I was surprised he hadn’t gotten up earlier. We were about to orgasm for the third time already when he finally came to the living room and caught his feline roommate having sex with his disembodied horse cock.

“How...?! How do you explain this...?!” Zeno pointed at the hairy pubes concealing absolutely nothing on his crotch.

 I slid out from Harold’s ass and my flaccid and flexible body enveloped the fat cat’s body like a boa constrictor taking hold of his prey. “It’s all over between you and me, Zeno!” I yelled with emotion. “From now on, I belong to this sexy man of a cat! He fell in love with me since he caught you masturbating in the bathroom!”

Zeno became even more shocked when he realized not only his cock had gotten separated from his body, but also seemed to have a life of his own and had randomly decided to fuck his supposedly straight roommate.

Harold protested. “What?! No! It wasn’t like that...! I mean, I do love you, Zeno! But... Waaaah! It’s true! I lost my virginity to your cock while you slept! I mean, yeah, I’m actually gay! Your cock made me realize it!” Harold was so embarrassed he couldn’t move. He had no idea how to explain any of what had happened today. “We both wished for it, so we’re equally as guilty!”

Zeno approached us. I didn’t want Zeno from taking the love of my life away from me, so I held the fat guy even tighter.

“You’re too late! He’s mine! I claimed him first!” I declared.

Zeno shrugged at the absurdity of the whole situation. “Look, I have no idea how my cock got a life of his own, but it’s still my manhood. The idea of my cock and balls randomly deciding to leave me and go for the first guy he got hold of is just too stupid.” He glared at us like denying our existence. “And besides, there’s no way a body part-person relationship like that would ever work in real life. That’s not love, it’s just lust gone wild.”

Harold fell silent, but his eyes burned with determination.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” I asked the sexy cat.

Harold let go of me and placed my phallic body on the floor, then turned to Zeno. He took a deep breath, his huge furry belly expanding as he did so. “Zeno, you’re right. This is too stupid. I have been hiding my true feelings for so long. It’s time to finally get things straight between the two of us...”

“Uh?” Zeno’s eyes narrowed. “You mean, you...”

“Yes, that’s right.” Harold had never been more serious in his life. “The truth is that for a very long time I’ve been madly in love with...”

EPILOGUE

Three months later...

“Sorry guys, I have to pee like a racehorse.” Zeno apologized to Brick and Mortimer, the two rhinos he was currently coaching. “You go on and take a shower before me.”

“You know, that joke gets old really fast...” Mortimer complained. But the two rhinos just shrugged as their personal fitness coach escaped into the stalls to avoid showering with them... just like he had done every single day since last week. 

“I wonder why coach Zeno is so shy.” Said Brick as he removed his sweaty sport clothes. Both him and Mortimer were muscular studs, and their uncut cocks were both massive in size even soft.

“It’s a bit strange.” Mortimer replied. “I always heard he was a true showoff. Everyone says he uses every opportunity to brag about his toned body. So far, I have never seen him without pants.”

“Well, I heard his cock is so freaking huge it made some people feel uncomfortable. Maybe we should be thankful he doesn’t want to expose himself in front of us... He just doesn’t want us to feel intimidated.”

Mortimer looked down at his own exposed cock. “I dunno, really.”

Both muscular athletes started showering while back in the stalls a naked gelding was mumbling to himself as he glanced at his phone. 

“Fucking bastard.” The muscle stud with a blank hairy crotch was filled with anger. He was looking at a video message from Harold and his boyfriend.

“Yoooooo, Zeno!” Yelled the sentient horse penis wrapped around Harold’s neck like a scarf. “Our little honeymoon trip is going fucking swell! Damn, Harold’s butt is so sore from yesterday!”

“It’s *not* sore!” Harold butted in on the screen. “And it’s not a honeymoon, we’re not married...! Yet. Hehe.”

“I know that, silly cat!” The cock replied. “By the way Zeno Sr., I hope you’re entertained at work, because we just extended our trip for three more days. What a shame, I hope you hadn’t thought about having a date this Saturday. I know we promised I’d reattach to you every other weekend but, well, have you finally thought about bottoming? You still have an asshole, make some use of it, dammit!”

Harold’s fat face filled the screen once again. “Oh, Zeno Jr.’s just exaggerating. Our flight back home got cancelled and the guys at the hotel were kind enough to extend our visit over the weekend for free. Aren’t they nice people?” The obese cat smiled and kissed Zeno Jr.’s glans.

Zeno’s blood was boiling hot with fury. He wanted to complain to them, but they practically never picked up his calls. He recolated himself on the toilet seat so the pee coming out from his small and useless peehole would stop wetting his thighs.

“Damn, keep kissing me like that... In fact, use your tongue more, like that, ahhh!” What used to be Zeno’s cock began to get hard.

“You’re the best boyfriend I could’ve ever wish for.” Harold told his lover, and promptly turned to face the screen once more. “I hope you eventually find the love of your life too, Zeno Sr.!”

“Well, it wouldn’t be so fucking hard to find if I still had a cock!” Zeno grumbled. He also hated being referred to as Zeno *Sr.*. It made it sound like his own cock had also deprived him of his own identity as well as his right to manhood.

Harold and his phallic boyfriend began to kiss each other, not realizing the video was still recording. They were playful kisses, but it didn’t look too dissimilar to oral sex. Zeno couldn’t stop watching as his cock was being played with and sucked. He had to admit, it was hot as hell, but when his hand naturally tried to grasp his cock to jack off they couldn’t find anything at all.

Zeno sighed deeply and in embarrassing defeat had no choice but to consider his former cock’s advice.

“...Bottoming, uh? I guess I could give it a try.”

Deep inside Zeno’s rectum, a virgin prostate sensed a very bad omen.