FICTT Chapter 5
So my day began, with nary an expectation from anyone of who I needed to be, that following morning after I and Ty's escapade as I awoke to the sound of my phone's alarm screaming in my ear, signaling me to begin my day. Comfort existed in the complacency of trusting its mechanics and design, the like of which had never ceased to let me done, ever since as far back remembered as the wayward days of my youth.
However, I wasn't going to adhere to any sort of normalcy, least not today, especially not after realizing I was only regrettably going to be looking forward to nursing the greatest hangover of my life anyway. Let it never be said though that this occasion wasn't my fault. No, this was the result of lamentably tipping back a few more bottles of alcohol than I probably should have after the Snow Leopard had departed so hastily last night.
The smell of morning's dew seeped into the house I noticed through the air conditioning, and could be smelt heavily about the place, as I begrudgingly sat up finally, only realizing then afterwards, as I felt the hard slick surface beneath me, that I had obviously passed out on the kitchen floor again; for the third time this month somehow...
Anyway though, so there I sat in the buff, with a heaviness and an absence of exuberance paramount in my mannerisms, as I grabbed for and looked at my phone so to shut off the snooze synced alarm still blaring, realizing only afterwards that I had a missed call and voice message from Derek -regrettably enough nothing from Ty- to which my knee jerk reaction then was to just toss the damn thing against the wall and be done with the world; not like it needed me anyway.
Regrettably though, my responsibilities -damn them all- settled in my countenance as I instead hung my head low and began to rub at my left arm, wondering to myself why I felt a sharp pain running down its length. In the end, it all felt so heavy, the weight of this entire world, as I sadly felt myself holding down the speed dial button so to call Eddie, my boss. I just... couldn't deal with that side of my life. Not today.
"Hey boss, it's Charlie..." I opened up at first, and stopped for a second to think of an adequate enough excuse as to why I couldn't make it in for my shift, but then -outstandingly quick witted even for me I'd dare say- I found myself utilizing my own sadness as a crutch as I repeated back, with a tone and affliction equal to that of a broken man, the first innocent thought that echoed about within my head; "I need a personal day. Please."
"Everything alright?" Was all Eddie would ask of me before approving my request, to which afterwards I stood up and reluctantly dragged myself over to my bedroom where I fell backwards onto my bed and just found myself staring up at the ceiling next. 
"Well that was fortunate. Or maybe not. Not like I could have used the money  right?" I grimaced as I thought about how the loss of a day of work would eat into my finances. "Oh well..."
After that I tossed and turned as I lay at the foot of the bed, somehow expecting to get comfortable as my legs dangled off the edge, myself wanting somewhat to go back to sleep and just forget I even woke up on this day.
"Oh and if that isn't the cherry on top of this crap storm sundae. Stupid fucking kitten! Couldn't even have the good sense to stick around and clean up his mess." I groaned out loud and with heavily irritated undertones as I reached towards my crotch area finally and found globs of my cum from last night still matted up in my fur. "I know it was a lot, but still..." I barked as I reached upwards above me and pulled from underneath my pillow my stash of tissues I kept hidden there; not that I had any use for them of late.
As I started to clean up and wipe around the edge of my sheath, I started to feel the weight of my actions of last night hit me finally. To the same degree as if I was going through the five stages of grief, eventually landing on acceptance, it took me a second to get there as each transition of such only plunged me deeper into the delusion that what I had done last night was a good choice; especially the odd part about choosing to only let Ty use me below the waist, my muzzle completely off limits to him.
"What's done is done I guess Charlie. Not like you have to explain yourself to anyone..." I sighed as I wondered if I counted for an any one anymore.
The overhead fan spun above me all the while, such as it always faithfully had whenever I needed to cool off -both physically and emotionally too- as I regretfully found myself, after finally wiping the last bit of dry cum away, watching these silly little flying super heroes Daniel had tied to the fan blades tracing along its pathway. As I found myself averting my gaze, it both saddened me and soured my stomach too to merely find myself staring in the direction of the closet next, only to accidentally see the leather jacket I had bought Daniel for his birthday after we got together sticking out just slightly enough to catch my wandering eye.
In that moment, I felt this terrible chill penetrate its way throughout my body, causing me to shudder in a lonely fear it had long since been I had truly felt last seep its way into my bones. The cause of this anguish was obvious right away to me of course. This house... my apartment.... our hole in the earth... whatever you wanted to call it, by whatever moniker it hung its definition, it was anything but it's expectation anymore.
Everything in my life was turning out that way lately to be honest. But where else could I turn? I had already denied my work space, a boy toy, and my own home thanks to its lingering memories today. So what place was left for me...
Impulsively though the inspiration came to me, sudden just like a lightning bolt striking down on a cloudless day, and -with little abandon thanks to the preexisting liquid courage that continued to surge through me- urged me to grab for my hoodie, headphones, and house keys alike so that I might begin my trek on foot into the inner city, my destination ultimately being Derek's grandmothers bakery.
Perhaps it'd be there, just like in my youth, at the intersection between a smile and genuine care, I can hold hope of feeling something today; other than just lost... 
________________________________________________________________________
With steps and strides I made my way eagerly street by avenue towards downtown Addlelark, where I knew by heart and could have arrived at blindfolded, the only place in my life where solace and peace had never failed to find me. The building had seen better days from the look of it unfortunately, but the smell coming from the bakery of freshly made confections remained unchanged -even from within the depth of my memories- as I approached from the sidewalk opposite the confection-catessen and stared mouthwateringly at the display of goods exhibited in their front window.
"She's still a culinary genius!" Was all I could think as I pushed open the familiar double wide doors to the facility and was greeted by a great blast of comfortable summer time air conditioning, united with a hint of cinnamon and cardamom hanging in its atmosphere. Truly, never had there been a place like this in my life -even including my short time spent with Daniel at our home- where I found I felt like I had belonged more than here. 
Nothing can change that belief in my heart; even if life would certainly now try...
"You could've just sent a text boss..." Was what I would hear next as I did a double-take in the direction of the registers and noticed a familiar, burly, and admittedly still -even in this workplace uniform- sexy polar bear friend of mine standing there.
"Derek?" I asked in a inquisitive tone as I made my way over to the area where he was -it looked like- just finishing pulling out his till for the day.
"Yes, me. Did you forget I worked here too Charlie?" He asked as he motioned for me to come over to join him as he lifted up the employee entrance hidden in the countertop and beckoned me to follow him as another employee came to replace him.
"To be honest, yeah I did. It's just been awhile since I've been here, you know?"
"Yeah, if it's been since I remember, it certainly has been. What brings you by though? Did you get my message?" He asked as I followed closely behind him, trying to match his gait, all the while being distracted by his other coworkers and the wonderful concoctions they were working on behind the reinforced glass production area nearest us.
"To be honest again, no. See, I kind of had a rough start to today. Even ended up calling in to work. It's just... well, I'm here because... well, I was hoping to talk with your grandma." I remarked while I scratched the back of my head as we finally made our way towards the office area in the back, and watched quietly as he weighed out his register and re-balanced it after subtracting away the profits; the total of which was a lot more sparse than I was assuming it would have been.
"She's not in today. Hence the reason I was here this morning. But dude, forget all that! Since you're here, I wanted... no, needed to talk to you. You got a minute?" Derek said as he single handedly pulled his work uniform off his torso next, exposing his upper body to me -causing a little chub to grow in my loins- before he slipped on his civilian wear quickly and sat atop the work space he was just utilizing.
"Got a free bear claw?" I asked him with a blush, trying my hand at humorous deflection again here on a new day, hoping that Derek would not only change this course of questioning I knew was coming, but also hook me up with a temptation I'd actually truly been craving ever since Daniel had brought me here -if memory serves correctly-over ten months ago. Alas, I knew I had to suffer what was coming next. All so that I may reconnect with this man; he the only person lately I could truly be candid with.
For you see, at least how I've consider it, Ty only got what he did out of me because of a moment of mental weakness, coupled with the liquor swimming around and messing with my head. Derek on the other hand deserves the truth, even if I've been shady and ambivalent in regards to telling him about the true path of his other friend.
"Yeah, I'll hook you up, but why don't we go ahead and head back towards the front. We're not allowed to eat back here." Derek said shuffling me off, with this sort of managerial confidence I'd never noticed he was capable of -between all his constant joking and pie-in-the-sky theatrics- as he escorted me back through the same hallway to which this time I refused to progress on as I stopped to watch a rather sexy rabbit squeeze his load... sorry, the filling he had in his hand into the center of the doughnuts he was making.
"Charlie! You coming?" Derek questioned as he grabbed a hold of my shoulder, which I barely noticed at first, instead fixated as I continued to stare at the rabbit, somehow noticing intricacies' of his body that made up this slender, yet obviously muscular twink who -during this sudden and impulsive moment of mine- made me realize something rather dark, but maybe also beautiful...
I was starting to feel again like the old version of myself again. The one before Daniel came along, the he who could not stop himself from eyeing a perspective prospect up and down before they noticed and challenged my gaze with their own; shutting me down more often than not in the past.
Perhaps time though -or maybe my new sexual prowess and vigor- had changed fortune for me as the rabbit looked back at me finally after my good minute of me staring at him, then -as Derek turned away for a second to answer a coworkers question- grabbed a hold of his junk outside of his clothes, pointed at me, and then gave me the slightest head nod followed by a seductive wink.
It made my heart feel weird, foreign yet familiar in its palpitations, though I suppose it could be argued it was still a better feeling than the sadness that was there just this morning, and the total encompassment of the six months prior now that was eating away at me too. And with that realization, I felt a sort of sense of renewal within me grow as I felt a reply wink back at him escape from my unintentionally innocent glare as I felt my sheath start to expand inside of my shorts also. "When had I reacquired the courage?"
"Charlie? You there?" Derek said as he jostled my shoulder lightly again, trying to secure my attention as I finally snapped back to reality for a second and started walking unintentionally ahead of him, instead lost in thoughts of how best I would suck off that fucking rabbit before flipping him over and choosing to eat out his asshole as he sucked me off next...
"CHARLIE!" Derek yelled finally as he pulled me backwards then and stopped me from leaving out the door next to us, spinning me around instead, repositioning me in front of him before he raised my chin up so that I may look up at him directly, to which he found me smiling, but with ample tears pouring out of my eyes also. "What's going on?"
"I think I messed up Derek..." Was all I could tell the polar bear before I wiped away my tearful shame and walked brazenly back over to the window where the rabbit was working, knocked on the pane so to get his attention, then held my phone pressed up against the glass, hoping he'd get the hint as Derek just stared at me in disbelief.
Something's changed in me, and I'm hungry now; I wonder how many dicks I can fit in me before I lose my mind again?
Let's see what happens next...