FICTT Chapter 2
"You wanna know something funny Derek? That phrase 'Thank God it's Friday' in no small way encompasses how badly and happy I am that this day is over with..." With a tired sigh of relief and the reserves of my energy drained, I slumped my face forward boldly onto the backside of the polar bear for just a quick rest. "I mean hell, how did he even get that ice cream on the exhaust vents on the roof?" 
My exhaustion hit me hard that afternoon after clocking out finally, but after the events of the day, the sum of which encompassed me first training that newbie, then to me firing him later on for gross insubordination, it sure was a record period for testing my patience; not that the day was over with yet anyway...
"That one was probably me to be honest boss. Kind of reminded me of a food fight back in grade school, and I just couldn't help myself!" Derek laughed happily as I felt the hearty vibrations of such beat against my temple, the pulsations of which massaged at the headache that had been growing steadily within me over that past hour as I grimaced more and more at the thought of telling my boss Eddie about all this later on.
"Laugh now big boy, but guess who has to get up there next time we work to scrape all 'THAT'' off..." I said as I blindly pointed in the air to indicate direction; like he wasn't already aware. "What flavor was that again anyway?"
"Pistachio mint, I think." He said while shrugging his shoulders in earnest reply.
"Well I certainly hope so, cause that's the only explanation for that color..." I said begrudgingly as I peeled away from Derek finally and flopped backwards onto a nearby rolling chair in the office.
"Don't sweat it man, I've got your back. I'll hit that first thing in the morning when we come in. No worries." Derek said aloud as he curiously didn't look back at me to visually confirm whether I had heard him or not, but instead just continued to rummage around in his backpack, almost as if he was killing time; or milking the clock anyway.
Our familiarity with each other by now was no accident of course, seeing as how I've known Derek since I was younger -back when I used to sneak away to the city in my adolescence- and used to go to his grandma's bakery. Those were hard days for me. But he was a beacon back then, of hope and optimism, and then surprisingly enough even after we fell out of touch, we ended up reconnecting thanks to Daniel. The Shepherd always did have my best interests at heart, even if he cheated by reading my journal to gain such insight into my past.
"Oh god wait, please don't tell me... I open tomorrow, don't I? Ugh, this job is going to kill me sooner than I had ever wished it could..." I said with a sigh as the sudden reminder weighed down on my already tired soul, causing me to fold my arms across my chest as I leaned my head over and rested it onto my right shoulder while I closed my eyes in mock sleep.
"Whoa whoa whoa... what the hell does that mean!?" Derek snapped his head around to glance at me finally as I looked up at him quickly and recognized the auditory clue that he had just picked up on from me.
"What, oh it's nothing Derek. Geez, take me serious much? You know I'm just kidding..." I chuckled softly, amidst a rather unintentionally revealing hollowness in my voice, hoping he'd drop the subject if he thought I was joking around.
He didn't buy it though...
"Yeah about all that... what if I told you lately I haven't been able to tell?" The bear confessed astutely with a concerned expression adorning his face now, emblazoned across it also a sort of pitiable gaze I had, in reflection, grown accustomed to seeing years ago from strangers and family alike; a look I thought I'd stopped people from giving me by now to be honest. "You've been acting so different lately, and I'm worried about you; and that goes double for Daniel since I haven't heard from him since winter began and I started working here. We're now in summer. You sure everything's alright Charlie?" 
Started with just a simple act of kindness on someone else's part, my rage began to build then as the bear finally pushed that button in me, even after I had been trying so hard to perfect that wolf in the iron mask routine...
"Look man, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to stop you right there okay. I mean yeah, you're a good friend, there's no denying that. Perhaps my best friend. You know so much about me, and accept me for who I am, and I appreciate that all about you. But honestly, I'm not going to have this conversation with you. You just... you wouldn't understand this." My eyes drifted longingly to the right as I held my paw pressed tightly against my heart. "Just drop it, please... okay." I finished rather brusquely, even for myself, as I stood up and blindly grabbed for the rest of my own belongings, gliding out the office door next as quickly as perpetual motion allowed for as I made my way out of the restaurant by way of the exit nearest the office, the aperture of which led to a backstreet that connected to Addlelark's main thoroughfare.
Unfortunately for myself though, even after getting away from Derek as quick as I had, I did have to stop myself for a second anyway as the familiar ache that came from hearing Daniel's name before finally ate at both my gait and concentration simultaneously then. In truth, this was a too often felt and totally manageable 'involuntary reaction' on my part, but fighting against both power and presence this overwhelming I'd found out by now only deepened the pain and anger that exists in me. 
The feeling itself was comparable to a burning sensation, on the scale of what I imagine touching the surface of the sun must feel like; a heat, unlike any other I can envision, the only equal in the universe to the type of betrayal and injustice that burns in my soul.
You know what though, I've often found myself on the path of least resistance anyhow, and that in place of rising up against these burgeoning emotions that grow day by day, I have instead learned to just bury them down when I need to, and as a substitute to shame, have taken to learning the value behind the word compartmentalization; for Daniel's sake as well as mine anyway.
Why hide how I really feel you wonder? Well, even if today's facade had failed to work on Derek, in the long run I know I still need to continue projecting the appearance of a joyful clown, because if I instead truly act on my hearts actual passions in these moments of hurt, and worse yet with how frequent they are, well... who really knows after all how imaginative and capable we who bear this scar in their heart can be; right? 
So it was I picked myself back up both figuratively and physically then, if but for just that moment, so I could make way for my original destination; the rapid ride bus stop which was just a little over a stone's throw down the road from the ice cream shop. 
The covered awning of the structure was perfect for combating the brightness of the afternoon sun that threatened to consume me otherwise as I settled onto the bench contained within, looked down at my trembling paws, and belted out a pain filled howl in response immediately following, the like of which was so full of contention and strife you'd have thought the police would have been alerted thanks to the inevitable calls pouring in of someone disturbing the peace.
"I am no one I even recognize anymore, and for good or bad that's all your fault Daniel! I mean... Is this what you wanted stupid? My god, you're just so... so far away right now, and I can't even tell you what I... that I..." I begged aloud as I clenched my paws tightly, the pain of which brought a stream of tears to my face as I struggled with my emotions earnestly then like I hadn't for quite some time now. 
Perhaps it was the full moon hanging transparently above me, or the way Derek just saw through my guise today, or really any number of switches that could have possibly gone off in my brain, but an uncontrollable fury loomed and swelled within me afterwards; worse yet, the only person I knew of who could settle my core was the very one in the same who caused my heart and mind to break in this way.
"Dammit, it's not like you can hear me through a prayer or a wish, but I... I don't care. Hear me now! I need your help. I'm in trouble here Dan, and I need you like I never have before, exactly where you're supposed to be..." I pleaded as I beat against my chest and continued on, "because a world without you I'd already tried and failed at, long before you even came along, and I couldn't take it then; what hope would there be for me now? It's just not fair you know, because for once in my life I knew who I wanted to be; now that that's gone, who am I supposed to be without you... you jerk!?"
"Now that's disappointing to me Charlie; I knew I should have asked you about this by now..." I recognized the familiar voice breach my almost hypnotic trance as I began to growl, almost feral-like, at the figure who stood in front of me suddenly as he blocked out the remaining daylight with his muscular form and height, all the while I remained in his elongated shadow small and fragile; a reflection of how I felt in my heart right then.
"Of course! I should have fucking knew it'd be you Ty! I should have bet some passerby on you coming earlier in this story to be honest. You know, it's like you're magnetically drawn to these moments of weakness in my life aren't you? WELL, NOT THIS TIME SNOW LEOPARD! POKING AROUND IN MY FUCKING BUSINESS AGAIN, JUST LIKE DEREK JUST DID, LIKE EITHER OF YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON WITH ME! BUT YOU DON'T! YOU COULDN'T KNOW! SO HOW COULD YOU DARE ASSUME!?" It frightened me to think I had let that itch in my heart take me over this hard, but the worst in me didn't care anymore to stop it from coming about. I yelled with zero lack of empathy as my darkness took a full hold of my heart, very much in the same way like it had on the day Daniel decided his desires would just gloss over my own. 
So in retaliation for that emotionally harming memory resurfacing thanks to the snow leopards appearance, I unflinchingly and blindly struck at Ty Abrams' chest, the frame and build of which hurt my hands, but continued to do so as he just stood there taking each hit after hit.
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW BADLY THIS HURTS! TO HAVE EVERYTHING STOLEN FROM YOU! AND YOU NEVER... could..." My rage quieted frightfully suddenly then, like a storm parting at sea and the sky opening up subsequently to reveal the stars above -and with just this simplest of actions- I felt that dark cloud encompassing me dissipate as the snow leopard pulled me into himself and held me tightly against his chest in a deep embrace. The softness and strength coming from him was intoxicating, yet somehow also familiar too, as I just stayed there for a moment -the comforting gesture not lost on me in its entirety- so much to the point I signaled at the oncoming bus to just continue on its route so we would not be disturbed in the moment.
"Why are you here Abrams?" Was all that escaped my muzzle before Ty took charge of the moment instead, forever changing our dynamic with simple statements I was afraid to hear said aloud from him, but knew all too well they rested in his heart this entire time anyway since we had reconnected some odd nine months ago now...
"To be honest, I really can't explain why I'm here. I mean, even after you told me it was just a mistake after last time we hung out together, I was kind of hoping for some reason today you'd be willing to make another one. So yeah, I kind of went to your work to catch you so we could talk, maybe invite you out to dinner, but instead I just saw you run outside the back... sobbing... and something inside me shifted and told me to follow."
"That's just gas Ty..." I said as I pushed myself away from him, adamant and uncooperative as I had always been towards his advances, but for that weak moment of mention before when I invited him back into my life.
"Joke all you will Fair, but take me seriously for just this moment... please. You know, it's not so hard to imagine that our destiny's are intertwined -and tangled up pretty damn good by the looks of it too- for some reason. However, even I'm not so dumb to argue with the universe and its wishes. And for whatever this all is, I'll just have to trust those designs. Otherwise, there'd have been no point to all this pain, for you or for me..." Ty said with an affliction of sadness as he turned away from me and walked over to the sidewalk, sitting down on the curb next as he picked up at a couple rocks that lie next to him and skipped them one after the other across the road.
"Believe it or not, I finally empathize with how you feel Charlie. It took me awhile to figure it all out, but I finally do." Ty said as he looked backwards towards me, his eyes similar to my recent own as his trademark grin stretched faintly across his face. "Let's just say a flame burns in my heart too; a fire I cannot seem to extinguish no matter what I do. But from time to time I have to take a step back and wonder, is it okay to live like that? Because you know, better than most, if we're both just so okay with leaving ashes of who we may have been behind us, are we really paying enough attention to what bridges and pathways we're burning along the way? Or more importantly, and to the point, does that include our second chances?"
Startlingly and refreshingly enough, looks like my old friend has finally realized a recognized concern I've admonished within myself for awhile now, so I guess it wouldn't hurt to give him the benefit of a doubt and hear what he has to say. 
Let's see what happens next...