From Ice Cream to "Topping" | Arc 2, Chapter 1
This all will be difficult for me to write, but if I don’t do this now, I may lose him forever. If not in my heart, maybe over time I might in my head at least anyway…
To whomsoever may come across this old, buried journal of mine in the future, and read upon its torn and faded pages, please remember that the contents contained within here, up until the very edge of its binding, are mostly accurate and true reflections of actual events proceeding today, the breadth of which chronicle my time spent with the most wonderful person in the world, and what came afterwards.
My name is Charles Fair, or Charlie rather, and this is a written record of my memories as they were, prior to everything coming to an effective stall all over again for me in my life, before I had to let go of my boyfriend Daniel Adams paw, as he continued to shift farther and farther away right in front of my eyes. For those of you that knew of us, or passed us by on our star-crossed path, you may wonder "well how did this happen?" What reason would there be for Daniel to be where he is now, leaving me alone -sitting here in my sullen solitude- as I try my best to sift through all the good -and sometimes bad- things that may have happened to us along the way?
In truth, I write this all with tears in my eyes now, my breath shortened and labored, but I refuse to stop writing until I’ve relived and lead this story through its paces; if I was being honest though, I wish I could just rip this journal apart and start anew. This impossibility is just a dream of course, I know, but... even so, as every second passes now in this drowning sadness, I can’t help but want to open my heart up to the one thing in my life I never thought I’d need: pride.
I know full well that all I will be doing by authoring this requiem is fighting with hallowed ghosts, and arguing that which has already come to pass, but I wonder still if there was something more I could have given before, or maybe even just said, that could have prevented what happened earlier on today. But for answers to that kind of question, and the many more that may exist, I suppose I’ll have to start by looking back at where I was just a few months ago, and where we had ended up, after last Daniel had found you the first time, my journal.
Not for nothing, but I'm really going to have to focus hard this time on the lessons I learned, or maybe missed along the way back in those days; perhaps amongst your bindings, I can discover a map that may actually lead me home again someday...
| ARC 2 - PRIDE |
Seasons change and time passes accordingly, sometimes quicker than even I used to wish, but for reasons unexplainable -even to me- I feel the pressure behind it all slowly, yet surely fading away now. Like I was waking up from a dream that had felt more real than it ever should have been. 
If you knew my history, or maybe heard about it by word of muzzle once before, you'd understand why my life always bordered on the challenging and impossible. Although, I suppose it never hurt anybody to hear some backstory if you hadn't before...
At present, from what was a summer season ago, that has now since shifted into fall, I can admit I used to be a very lost, lonely little grey wolf. I was always ready and willing to trade everything I had for someone who'd care about and notice me.
Just to prologue it all, I’ll rewind the clock a bit, back to the end of my first year of college. Honestly -at the time- I hated every day I had to be there, but I had endured enough to pass the semester, even if by looking at my GPA you'd assume otherwise. By its measure of success though, I was finally accomplishing something I had set mind too, and I should have been filled with excitement and joy, like any normal furson would have been. But instead, I was just left feeling this bitter sting of mediocrity, deep in the core of my character, as my accomplishment remained equal to less than nothing in my eyes.
Ultimately, I was at that given time -honestly- without ambition or drive, and because of such, I really held no passions in life. So in turn, I had no gauge with which to judge my accomplishments either. As it was, I only merely survived my life, with no goals or objectives set for me, but to live out my existence the best I knew how. It was a sad world I inhabited, but at the end of the day, I never really knew there was anything beyond that. 
See when I was younger, I never comprehended love, never put value in it. It was just a word, and its meaning was foreign to me, on par with that of a country I had never been to before. At least that's what I had thought at first...
In spite of this empty feeling I carried in my heart all those years growing up, everything changed for me one day, after I rested securely in the arms of what I would later find out to be unconditional love's embrace. For the first time I could remember, I would dare to say I felt true happiness, and never wanted to let it go.
Following that moment, and every which since, thanks to this love's affection and its influence over me, I was able to finally get over a lot of my social neurosis, and ultimately start to face my sordid past. It was a moment which will forever remain frozen on the doorstep of my personal history. This recollection itself was a flavor of ice cream all its own, meant only just for me to enjoy. I referenced that memory often, and by only one moniker in my heart: Daniel. 
Going forward from that occasion, after we had only started dating, to when we officially decided to we wanted to live together, I can honestly say Dan and I had only fallen deeper in love with each other. For us, being together wasn't only easy, but felt completely natural.
Months have passed now since from when we met, and time has continued winding down for the rest of the world, realized by just looking out towards both the sky and foliage outside, that a whole season has come and gone too. For me though, life had instead stilled. I could argue with you for hours why I felt as I did, or how naïve I was to think like that, but only I would understand the truth behind it all: that emotion called adoration, which kept me in a suspended animation of eternal bliss.
As dawn broke through the window blinds one fateful morning for Daniel and me, I slowly -but with much anticipation revving my engine- opened my eyes to catch the shine of the morning's glow reflected off my lovers body. As though he were trying to do the same, we both just stared happily -and yet silently- at each other while we laid in bed awake together, both of us halfhearted in our intent to move and want to disturb the other.
With a mix of continued breathing and happy moans escaping us then, we continued to gaze softly, seemingly both lost in a sea of tranquility, that still always made us feel like we were experiencing our first time together, again and again.
As was his way of beginning our mornings together, the Shepherd’s paw rubbed softly at the side of my face, the act of which always sent chills up and down my spine. Outwardly, it would have seemed I just smiled, yet inwardly, I might as well have done a back flip, and then beamed; the sensation of such warmth always capable of melting the ice cream in my heart. 
However, even after all these months we had spent together in our joined home, my mind would freeze periodically still, and keep me emotionally locked. Was this all I was in total, a wolf afraid of accepting this positive change as truth? Or perhaps somewhere deep in the swell of me, was there just this broken and jaded railroad track that absolutely refused to bend back into normalcy?
I questioned that attitude of mine every day, almost like clockwork really, but for every one of these feelings and worries that bubbled up -from a persistent and dark part of me- it was often curbed and shelved for later scrutiny by way of my gentle Shepherd, and his strong, yet gentle hands. They distracted me even now, as he worked their way down my person, the entirety of which -thanks to some early relationship convincing on Daniel’s part- lay fully exposed and naked, as he worked his passions under the covers we shared, literally.
Truth be told, his enthusiasm, even after how long we had been together -coupled with how frequently it occurs- still always had a way of leaving me feeling embarrassed, and inexperienced afterwards, every time…
“Dan… wait, please. We haven’t even fully woken up yet.” I moaned into my pillow as I stretched and protested my boyfriend's advances. True enough, it certainly wasn't a bad way to wake up, admittedly though, I do still sometimes long for bygone simpler days of when the only thing I stuck in my mouth in the morning was just a toothbrush.
“But Lee... that’s not what your body’s telling me.” Daniel smirked as he leaned over and gave me a kiss on the muzzle, the warmth and softness of which always knew how to get me to let him do whatever he pleased.
“Well what about the rest of the morning though, my love? I gotta get ready for school, and then I gotta make us something to eat, and…” 
Even though I had spoke up, with good intent at the start, I was quickly stopped in my tracks, after the muscled Adonis I share my soul with meticulously grabbed at -softly, yet firmly- my still dangling morning wood. I could feel it swell, almost squeal even, as it wriggled about in the Shepherd’s hands, its point of no return already long since past as the knot of my red member peeked its way out past my sheath.
“Charlie… you’re such a nerd!” Daniel joked as he kissed at my dick suddenly, instantly silencing me and my worry of pressed time as I felt my heart begin to drop its defenses then, such as they had been learning how to do of late thanks to my gentle companion.
To be honest, it blew my mind -and often my load- almost every day since, whenever I thought back on as to how we came into each other's circles. On how we became a couple, official now to the world at large, and yet privatized to our own individual interests. 
When I think back on all of it, I can admit freely now, it felt weird to me at first, sharing my home and lifestyle with Daniel. Only after just a few weeks time though, I began to see how its benefits outweighed the cons. Then one day surprisingly, especially for someone like me, who always second guesses everything, I just let sleeping dogs lie. 
After all, nothing had really changed for me, except for the fact free sex and blowjobs were waiting at home for me, versus me hoping -like I used to- that I’d innocently catch a glimpse of a dick slip or underwear bulge while at the pool, or somewhere like that. 
Then there was also my job at the ice cream shop, where I still thankfully yet shamefully continue to work, but at least now -unlike before- my pent up sexual energy was finally under control. Instead, I knew I could just hold onto such passion and desire now, and bring it home to Daniel, who in turn gave me everything he could, while even on the limited budget he now lived after ultimately being cut off from his father's fortune. 
Sadly though, because of Daniel’s growing fear that his father wouldn’t rest in finding him, we had both agreed together that, for the time being, it would be best if he were just to remain here in the apartment. Hell, we even decided that it would be better if he skipped out on returning to college for now, while I conversely would remain to be the sole bread winner between us. 
It was hard at first, especially when coupled with his gross over use of appreciation and apologies concerning his situation, as bills otherwise stretched us thin and strangled me all the while he stayed at home. For his love and adoration though, I traded it all, the entirety of my strength and stamina, for this time with him I wouldn’t exchange for anything. 
The design behind that notion only increasingly solidified in my mind as time went on, especially after moments such as now, as Daniel’s eagerness overtook him- such as it often did- as his maw found itself wrapped around the thick of my cock.
“Dan.... this isn’t really the best time…” I moaned the phrase to begin with, like I did almost every time we were in this position, as the shepherd’s excited tongue worked around the tip of my dick. Not that I was uninterested or anything, but I just couldn't stop myself from saying it. As though in the back of my mind, I was always instead thinking about what might come next in my day. 
Conversely, this sort of thing mattered little to Daniel, since he likes 'to lives in the now' as he so calls it. Not that I minded that way of thinking. In fact, it was a lesson I honestly tried learning and applying to my own life...
“Better be quick today then pup! If it helps any, you can just consider this my breakfast…” Daniel had slipped in the words with a smirk before he went back to work, waxing at my shaft with his tongue. Every flick and stride he offered made me shudder in pleasure, with feelings I never wanted to end, especially after I would finally let go of my previously mentioned neurotic worries about the day, and would just dive right into the moment with him.
“You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that Shep?” I grinned as I happily and finally let him take full control of the situation. My body his canvas, I could only succumb to his talents and intents as he started to bob up and down -the ultimate moment of enjoyment for me coming from when he’d rub at my balls softly- while he worked his artistic tongue around my cock; the sum of which he had decided somehow -only recently- he wanted not only to fit entirely in his muzzle, but in his tail hole as well.
The pleasure of these moments always consumed me however, as my hunger for his cock always overtook me in the end. So I nervously, but with purpose, slid my dick out of his muzzle, and grabbed for the lube we kept close by our nightstand.
"Lee... that'll definitely make you late!" Trying his best to be the voice of reason this time, Daniel pleaded -if only but for just a second- before I looked at him tenderly then, causing our tails to begin swishing back and forth, in a happy unison, as we both knew this was what we really wanted to do. 
Luckily, because of this mutual understanding of one another, I could often find myself turning the tables on the Shepherd, such as I did then, after I repositioned him onto his back, and then sat atop his rock-hard abs. In turn, he started to pant loudly, his pleasure derived from each eager buck of his excited hips, which ultimately betrayed his poker-faced plea to get us to stop.
"Oh, like you care all of a sudden pup..." I quipped back as I flashed him a seductive glare, and then grabbed for his huge throbbing member behind me, the slick of precum dribbling out of his tip indicating his want for what was coming next. 
And although a bit shameful for me to admit, to even this very day, I do still in fact fail to compare, in almost every conceivable sexual way imaginable, to Daniel: from the tenacity of his spirit, to the length of his shaft, and so on. 
Heck, to even start with just describing his cock alone, it honestly behooved me to even conceptualize the words to do so. It was like it was always just an inch too thick, for even both my mind or paws to fully wrap around. Yet amazingly also, was never so big it prohibited me from going down on him all the way, whenever he’d deep throat or fuck me.
Because of this I think, Daniel was usually always the top whenever we’d have fun, which left me with the happily daunting task of playing bottom boy, to him and his massive dog cock; a mission since we had started yiffing I'd always gladly accept when given the chance.
"Well, as you know, I'd rather you be cramming me... than instead of me for some test!" Such as he often would, he grinned at one of my horrible jokes, while I would just smile back at him in retort.  To me, this very moment, and many like it, were a perfect reflection of the true feelings we housed for each other. 
"Okay, but just take it slow Charlie. Don't want you walking around funny... like you did the other day!" Daniel smirked and then chuckled before I pushed onto his chest and leaned down to kiss him, our tongues lapping together as we started up happy hour officially.
With me helping to guide him, his tender leaky cock smoothly penetrated my expecting anal ring, making me howl out in delight, as the familiar burn of being stretched open bit at me for a while. From that point forward, he and I only moaned harder, and more frequent, as he pushed his way deeper into me, the breadth of his member rubbing raw against the walls of my insides as we went along.
"Ah, that's better!" I breathed silently to myself a minute or two later, after I straddled myself on top of him some more, and re-familiarized myself with his girth all over again. But even as the fleshy center of my tail hole now expanded, and fully enveloped his cock, I found myself squirming in pleasure all the while as I wanted him inch by inch deeper into me.
"I'm going to get you… back for this wolf..." He yelped in-between moans before I leaned forward, from my position atop him, and nuzzled my nose around his neckline, making sure to not miss teasing him by blowing small bursts of air from out my snout and against his collarbone, a secret sweet spot of his I had discovered that just drove him crazy. 
With the advantage now mine, I started to move my lower body more in sequence with his movements, causing him to groan deeper. And although it felt like we were making love on a cloud, each impact of our bodies so softly purposeful, the bed frame would suggest otherwise with each time it slammed up against the wall.
"Charlie... if we keep this up..." The Shepherd panted as he grabbed for my paw and interlocked our fingers, to brace himself for release. Not for nothing, this common gesture of his always remained to be a simple reminder that I chose the right man to share my love and body with. No one had ever made me feel the way that he did, and I never expected that to change.
"Do it... Daniel… fill me... please!" I howled out in excitement and ecstasy following, as I arched my back what I could -while feeling my own orgasm swelling up deep within my balls- to help him slide into me completely, as the thick base of his knot slipped easily inside of me then.
"Fuck… I'm can’t hold it anymore Lee... I’m gonna…" Daniel moaned as he tried to warn me -yet not quickly enough- as loads of his cum begin to escape from his cock, and shoot themselves deep into my person, filling me with his spunk. I could feel each pulse of his knot as he remained inside and throbbed, each spurt from him just more for me to absorb.
"Dan..." I groaned out his name -after he eventually pulled his knot out and collapsed over to his side of the bed- as I felt his cum starting to slowly leak out of my butt, and down the backside of my balls, which ultimately drove me over my sexual edge as well. 
So in the end, I just couldn't resist the need to make a mess myself. I stroked faster at my cock while staring at the panting muscled dog, his moans helping me to reach my climax right away. 
As the more forceful of my streams escaped from my member at first, splashing heavily over both of us, I tried my best to look over at my loving German Shepherd in between each burst. Knowing exactly what to expect of him by then, I was greeted happily by the familiar site of him licking at the white goo off the length of his muzzle, while he basked in afterglow on his pillow. His face that of an angel, as both of his eyes remained closed so not only to relax, but to prevent me from blinding him as well.
I took the opportunity upon myself then to fall forward onto my lover, my head equal with his chest as we collided together, the smell of the aftermath just as wonderful as the whole ordeal had been for me.
“Relax my wolf, I’ve got you.” Was all Daniel had left to say as he let me rest in his muscular chest. With my strength zapped as well, I found myself only following in his example as I too just closed my eyes, and began to relax.
“Thank you Daniel. I love you…” Initially in our relationship a hard thing to say, I found eventually that this very sentence -though strong and heavy in its context- was exactly what my life had been missing. “I can’t wait for school to end so I can come back home... and we can do this again!”
“Again? Well good, maybe we can switch positions then pup!” Daniel remarked before he rubbed at the top of my head, and then kissed at it -messing up my fur happily with his both paw and snout- as we laughed together; this morning a perfect example of what Daniel and I had to come to share.
School’s next on my list though, and this will be the first time I've ever really left Daniel alone at home before. Let’s see what happens…