Mighty No.9 Review
Let's get things straight here, Keiji Inafune is not the creator of Megaman. The people of Capcom built him up as such which just confuses me. The real creator is a man named Akira Kitamura. As theorized by many people about the state of Megaman itself, Keiji Inafune branched off from Capcom and created Comcept and made two successful games Mighty Gunvolt which was a successor to Megaman Zero.
So, it would make sense for a successor for Megaman, right? Except, uh... we already did have one. Shovel Knight. Yeah. B-but regardless of that, the man was determined to make this vision a reality. He called this Mighty No. 9 and it would be the new Megaman of this era. There was a kickstarter of 700 thousand dollars and it achieved over 4 million. Holy shit, man!
It was pitched in 2012 and started development of 2013. And we waited, but it got delayed. So it moved to 2014. Then we waited again after seeing some gameplay footage. It was moved to 2015, and by then, people gave few fucks and just said: "Fuck it, just tell me when it finally comes out. I have better games on hand."
The development history is a complete clusterfuck. For one, the management for the site for answering questions for fellow gamers and fans of the Megaman series had no knowledge of video games or Megaman at all. Plus, they were a complete stranger with no qualifications. So how did they get hired? Because they were in a relationship with an employee of Comcept.
Well, that explains everything. Needless to say, running the site was a disaster which ended up with her quitting, in actuality, she was fired. I won't name any names, but that was such a stupid decision of many. Another thing, the gaming engine they were using, Unreal Engine 4, suddenly stopped working and getting updates.
So they had to use Unreal Engine 3 for the game and it looks... terrible. Maybe, if they did their homework and worked with the engine more, it wouldn't be outdated to the point of not starting at all. Plus, Keiji Inafune went on about making a sequel, a TV series, a movie, mangas and onwards. Even starting a kickstarter of a successor to Megaman Legends called Red Ash The Indelible Legend.
But herein lies the problem... Mighty No. 9 wasn't done yet. Where the fuck is he getting the money for all of this? He had four million fucking dollars! I mean, I get it. Pitching a game idea and holding meetings is expensive but still... where did it all go? Certainly not into this I can tell you that for sure. The site back then says and I quote:
"Mighty No. 9 is just about done, we're still testing out for bugs and glitches."
So where is it? It's been 3 fucking years. And how appropriate. Ending the worst year we had with the worst game. Honestly, it's fitting. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy. There was no way it was to succeed and it was pretty much obsolete because guess what...? We had Megaman 11. So that makes this game even more worthless.
Plus, it certainly doesn't help with the cringeworthy Masterclass Trailer.
"Make the Bad Guys cry like an Anime Fan on Prom Night."
... Yes. That is an actual line from there. Megaman, was inspired by Astro Boy. Astro Boy, was from an Anime, and then a Manga series. Have they forgotten what actually got them off the God damn ground? I think so. And who published this? Deep Silver. The same numbnuts company that made Ride to Hell Retribution. Oh. That explains everything actually.
So... without further ado. Let's go with Mighty No. 9. Even if I don't want too...
STORY
Our story begins with I presume the future as the game says "The present year." Yeah, thanks game. That narrows it down. So we have our Robot Masters-I mean, Mighty Numbers competing in a Robot Coliseum to entertain the masses. Beck, the newest addition is not used to fighting so he's the blacksheep of the family.
The one who built the Mighty Numbers is a man named Dr. White and I already have problems with this guy. You'll see why later. Anyways, a virus infects all machinery and robots around the city, including the Mighty Numbers minus Beck who is immune and goes on a rampage. We're also introduced with another robot named Call. Get it? Beck and Call, hahah... ah...
The virus is believed to be created by a man named Dr. Blackwell but it turns out, he was used as a scapegoat by a president of a corporation named Mr. Graham. So it's Beck's job to hunt down his brothers and sisters and cure them of the virus using the power of Xels (said as cells).
Later on in the story, it's revealed that Dr. White used to work at Graham Corporations and under a different named. And that he's related to Dr. Blackwell and created a robot called Trinity, who is the source of the virus. Trinity had one directive, to gather information and absorb Xels.
But apparently, she did too well and became corrupted, so she was shut down and put into storage only for Mr. Graham to reactivate her for... reasons. So basically, Dr. White fucked up and instead of fixing the problem and taking responsibility, he up and ran away to start his own work. Only to repeat the same mistakes twice.
What, you think I'm joking? Nope. He made a robot named Raychell who's basically a vampire. She needs to feed on Xels or she will shut down and die. Oh, that's fucking brilliant Dr. White! Good job. And he made Beck immune to the virus, but not the previous eight he made? God, this guy sucks! Worst scientist ever!
Anyways, Beck takes the fight to Trinity and beats her, they cure the virus and manage to free her and Mr. Graham is in prison I assume. And we get four hours of credits since they list every backer who donated this. Only to wish to have their money back or kill themselves realizing this was a piece of fucking shit.
And that's how it ends. What a piece of shit. And that raises a question... why did we need to fight the Mighty Numbers to find out where the virus came from? Aren't all the machines and robots infected with the same virus from Trinity? Already this story is falling apart! Jesus Christ.
Let's get this over with...
GAMEPLAY
It's Megaman. You can jump, dash, shoot and use many weapons from the Mighty Numbers. However, only two are useful. The grenades that gives off a huge explosion and a weapon that makes you use a sword sort of like Zero and mow down enemies and bosses. Every other weapon sucks.
We also have  combo system for some reason? And points. I recall the very first Megaman had a points system but then realized: "Eh, you know what? People don't give a shit about points. Take it out." And they did. Why Keiji Inafune decided to implement this? I have no clue.
The way to kill... anything is downright retarded. You have to dash into them once they're in a weakened state and deal damage. This applies to the bosses since if you leave them alone for too long, they slowly recover health. Do you realize how stupid this is? Plus, the levels are horribly designed and executed.
You can't grab onto ledges that are frozen over and there are so many bottomless pits and death traps. I haven't this much instant death since Megaman 4. At the base, you can choose Call and she'll tell you which order to go to and what weapon a Mighty Number is weak too, defeating the whole point of strategy.
The framerate is utter shit and the graphics look so bad. This honestly looks like a PS2 game, but that's insulting because there are much better games for that system. Again, 3 years and 4 million dollars. Was it worth it? Plus, we have online multiplayer because... I have no idea why. It's broken. It's completely unplayable.
MUSIC
Honestly? Aside from the main theme, I remember nothing about the music. It all sounds so generic and bland. And that's a shame since we have the composers of Megaman Zero and ZX to compose these tunes. And it's garbage.
SOUNDS AND VOICES
The voice acting is terrible due to a childish and inane script. We have Yuri Lowenthal, Matthew Mercer, Steve Blum, Jason Spisak and so on. How the fuck do you have a good voice cast and still sound like garbage? It certainly doesn't help that character animation is non-existent. They don't even move their mouths when talking!
4 MILLION DOLLARS! What the fu-
FUN FACTOR
There is none. Only rage and pain. Mostly rage.
FINAL THOUGHTS AND SCORE
You know, I watched a 7 part playthrough of Projared playing this after hearing the backlash. And this is so appropriate. He starts off so optimistic only at the end he is beaten, frustrated, tired and annoyed once it's all said and done. The game is not that bad, it's fucking shit. This was a complete disaster of epic proportions.
Nothing about this game worked. Nothing. It was a huge waste of time and trying in vain to improve and stay relevant. But it failed. They send the wrong DLC codes for the wrong systems, certain copies of the game haven't arrived yet and the DLC itself is a joke. A gold Beck? An 8-bit skin stolen from a user from Minecraft?
And the Raychell DLC gameplay offers nothing only to solidify as Dr. White is a complete fucking moron. It even ends ambiguously to a cliffhanger as Dr. White talks about the evolution of robots with free will and shows humanity that he can do it.
That almost makes him sound like a villain. Good job game.
My final score is...
0/10
There was a somber livestream going over the reception and comments of the game. And a representative and translator to Keiji Inafune said flatout:
"Even though it's not perfect... it's better than nothing."
I... was rendered speechless upon hearing that. So that basically means: "Yeah, we fucked up, we know it's a piece of shit. But hey, you got the game." To be fair, Keiji Inafune himself didn't say that, but still, that's a stupid fucking thing to say. Especially on a fucking LIVESTREAM! Already I have a very poor first reception with this company.
How could you possibly recover from this? This game is a disaster. Play Shovel Knight, Megaman 11 or 20XX. Much better games than this fucking shit. Or better yet, play Dust An Elysian Tail that only had 40,000 dollars in the budget.
REWRITE
Oh fuck, this whole story needs a huge rewrite. But I'm not sure how...
It doesn't really matter. It's dead. It's dead and buried and will forever be forgotten in mediocrity and disappointment.
And that's that.