Miracle of The Giving Force
By Zephon Fox

**aRc Thr33 - Through the Code**

**ChaPter 9iNE**
Intro and Extro

Janet rose from the bed some time later. She'd lost track of time, but it didn't seem to really matter down here. Time was a concept used to mark your days while alive. 

Here, in Hell? All the time in the world to suffer and be punished.

She was staring out the window when she felt a presence behind her. She gently gulped and swallowed, steeling herself as she turned on one foot slowly, looking back.

It was the Hellguardian. He was sitting on her bed. "Y'know, I know someone like you: she's got that inner beauty too. Almost radiant with class and charm."

Janet looked down at her older, frail body. "I doubt this could be considered beautiful."

"Maybe, but things change and so do perspectives. Heck, I know people with odd habits, some not of their making, but that doesn't stop them from still being wonderful."

"Is that a fact?" She put her winghands on her hips. "Have a thing for the older girls, do you?"

He laughed and clapped his thighs, standing up. "No, I have a thing for happy people, period." 

She couldn't honestly find a way to retort to that. As the big blue wolfdemon moved over to the window and started to open it, she snuck another glance at him. Electric blue fur, stark white bellyfur, ebony horns, clear blue eyes, black vest, blue jeans, huge feathery wings...

All in all, not exactly bad on the eyes himself.

No. No no no. You're not attracted to him, you're not ANYTHING right now. You're in Hell, remember! She shook her head, not noticing that he was still watching her.

"It's okay, you know...you can look at me if you want."

She snapped her head up. "I-er, that...that is, er..."

A soft laugh and a warm hand on her shoulder gave her stammering pause. "No really. I was thinking today we could go out and see a bit of the world, let you see that you may in fact be much better off than you once thought."

Janet looked down. 

"I'm...I'm not sure about that. Really not sure."

"Janet, it's okay to be unsure. That way, we're open to suggestions and to newer ways of thinking. That way, we can grow, even in our afterlives."

She looked up to regard him again. "Do I have to go around nude like this? I kind...kind of look all dumpy," she replied lamely.

"Firstly, you're not dumpy. Secondly, if you want to be clothed you can have clothes as you see fit. It's your choice. Just as coming with me for a walk around town is," Zelampago replied. He smiled down at her. "It IS a nice day out..."

Janet Fletch looked down at herself, then back up at him. "Would you have something in a size 9 maybe?"

***

They were walking down a street. Janet marveled as they strolled a slow-but-steady pace. This street looked just like the main thoroughfare up above! Little shoppes and businesses, stacked two high, one right after another. Each offering a different service...if one could call "skin cleaning", "anal tattooing", and "parts-swapping" services.

Still, as she and her...protector...walked along, he in his same outfit and she in an admittedly pretty yellow sundress, this was not what she was expecting.

"I think I should probably let you know that here in Hell, we're not big into Fire-N-Brimstone. At least, not on this level, which is where you'll be residing."

He stopped at a crosswalk and they waited for a plethora of big, swanky cars to roll past. "It isn't?", said Janet, cocking her head up at him. "I mean, I don't see anyone unhappy, but this could all be a shade act. Demons are supposed to pull the wool over your eyes, right?"

He laughed and nodded. "True, that's what they say. But what is actually the case is that I and everyone else like me will do nothing but tell you the truth if we can. It's so much easier that way and it just shows more respect anyhow. Still, you *are* allowed to doubt me as much or as little as you like. Asking questions is just another part of finding peace, right?"

Fair point, Janet mused.

Across the lane, a young pair of boys, a badger and a raccoon, had that sneaky-giggly look, like they were about to do something silly or stupi-...

The boys stepped right out into oncoming traffic. A huge Rolls Royce saw them coming and sped up into them, mowing them down in a cloud of fur and blood with a *SPLURCH!* Janet's winghands flew up to her face. "Oh my lord! Those poor boys! Zel, won't you do somethi...something?"

He was watching her and had leaned down some, slowly turning her head to the greasy smear on the street as the Rolls Royce rumbled off, the driver laughing his head off and exulting in his new paintjob.

The smear of gooey paste on the ground slowly pulled itself back onto the curb next to her and rose, separating into two lumpy puddles before growing upwards and solidifying. The two boys shook themselves out, gave each other a high five and a hug and scampered down the sidewalk.

"H...how?"

"Here, we feel no pain. Or rather, you feel pain only if you want it or if Hell thinks you deserve it. Heartache is one's own choice to grieve, remember. In any case, sitting on your car keys will hurt to remind you they're there, but full-on, intense and long-term physical pain's not going to happen to you." said the wolf, hands on her shoulders. "Ever again.

"Naturally," he continued with a gesture towards the now clean road, "this means we are all invincible and immortal. And since pain is only what you WANT to feel rather than something you MUST feel, you could step into traffic, be smeared across the pavement, and be just like those two boys: none the worse for wear."

She was still looking back at the two skipping boys who were some distance behind them. Zelampago stood up and settled his thumbs in his pockets, waiting patiently.

"So what other levels are there?" Janet finally asked as the signal turned in their favor. As vehicles approached the intersection running against the crosswalk, they were lifted up and over and deposited back down on the other side without any speed loss. Zelampago offered his elbow and she took it, walking with him across the street, peering up into the overhead undercarriages zooming by.

"Well, there's seven, not nine as some may interpret. Really Quite Nice is above this, but a lot of people ignore that one. That's where true innocents go; newborn babies and the profoundly traumatized. They're raised there and nurtured by demons who...well, the worst you could call them is a maternity ward nurse with a pointy tail. They're all very loving up there."

She stepped up onto the far curb and they took a corner towards a nearby park. "Can I see it?"

Zel shook his head, a small sad smile. "Not usually. Well, aside from viewing a video or getting a pass to visit someone up there anyhow. Going up a level in Hell is difficult. It's...meant to be that way. But even so, that's alright. The Naughty level's the top of the experience here, but Really Quite Nice is the tippy-top," said the demonwolf, pointing upwards with a finger to illustrate. "Sort of like the difference between an A and an A+."

They sat down at a nearby picnic table and turned to watch the park. Zel reached into his vest and pulled out a fresh pitcher of lemonade and two glasses, pouring them out for himself and his charge. 

"After that, things start getting a bit more like you were expecting. The Jerks level comes next and that's where you go if you weren't quite as nice as you could've been. Think of...snide commenters online or jerky shock jockeys on the radio. The kind of people who get off on laughing AT you rather than with you."

The batlady nodded, drinking from her lemonade carafe. It was rather tasty!

"They go to the Jerks level, where everyday's pretty much a crummy day. Things don't work right, cars don't start properly, and you do feel some pain. In fairness, it's all designed to teach its residents how to choose a better path.

"Next, comes the Dickheads level wh-"

"Wait, Naughty, Jerks, then Dickheads?" The bat lady cocked her head to the side a bit.

"Yes."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Some rather strange names, aren't they?"

Zel laughed and set his glass down. "Yes, well, Beelzy's a strange guy. He felt this was far easier than going with more archaic titles. Besides, the 'suggested' list God gave him was about thirty levels deep. Ol' B lit that on fire, then farted on it and made up something he thought was much simpler to understand."

"Put that way, I can see the simplicity of it, yes."

He nodded. "See? You're catching on, sure as can be."

Janet flushed a little, setting her hand on the table. She flinched a little when his black-furred hand settled on hers, but didn't pull away.

"Anyhow," Zel said, turning back again to watch the park's activities, "Dickheads is like a day on Earth in prison, plus the Hellguardians down there are armed. You're not actively being *punished*, per se, but you're not really free to go do much. A couple of rioters and insurgents once thought they could fight their way out, but got about three steps out their doors before they were cut down. Down there, you feel lots of pain if you belong there.

"Assholes comes next. It's...well, that would be more like Hell's prison, really. There's not a lot of color and not a drop of fun to be had. Your life consists of real lessons and trying to not slide backwards. Plus, I've seen the food. It really sucks there."

Janet laughed, despite the grim words. This big wolf was definitely helping to clear things up.

Zelampago gave her a surreptitious look before continuing. "After that, Complete Assholes."

"What's the difference?" she asked, looking back at him.

"Really, the difference is what Beelzy considers to be above the last level, but only by the barest margin. Psychopaths, serial killers, sociopathic maniacs...and child-killers."

Her head snapped around, her stare finding his eyes. He looked right back, not flinching away, awaiting the inevitable question that was sure to follow.

"Child-killers?" she asked. 

A nod was her response. 

"As in, those who intentionally murder youngsters in cold blood?"

Another nod.

Zelampago was mildly amazed at the level of fury that overtook Janet Fletch's face. "Is *he* there?"

Zelampago knew who she meant. Marcus Fletch, her ex-husband, and Bartleby's killer. Murdered in a prison shanking, brought low by Hell's own rules.

And helpless to resist his son's final act of defiance against the man who sired him. Helpless to stop Bartleby from having his say freely. Helpless to stop Razielphustar's brutal vengeance on Bartleby's and his own behalf.

Helpless and without hope for a very, very long time.

"Yes, Janet. He's there."

"ARE YOU SURE!?" She nearly screamed it at him, eyes wild and searching his. 

Gently he pulled himself up and walked around to kneel next to her, eye to eye, as he held her hands in his. "Yes Janet. With my own eyes, I saw him there. I saw your ex-husband be brought to his knees and then humiliated in ways he'll never be able to ignore. I saw him about to be torn to pieces, over and over again. I saw him cry out for mercy...and saw that none was given nor will be until he feels true repentance for his crime."

Tears were streaming down her face now. He pressed on.

"And this is an important moment for you, Janet. Listen and open your heart and mind, embrace it. Marcus sits at the sixth level of Hell, mercilessly being tormented for his crimes against you and your children. HE is there...yet you are here, in the second and most populated level. So the question you must ask now is?"

The batlady inhaled in, her breath hitching slightly as she looked into his eyes.

"W-why?"

"YES. Why are you up here? Why would Hell's Giving Force bring you here instead of closer to Marcus? Why would it deposit you in what is arguably as close to paradise as you can get? Why?"

She looked down, tears falling down her cheeks, staining her dress skirt. 

A moment passed as she thought. And thought hard.

Another.

Still another. Zel didn't move, he didn't budge, just kept holding her hands and reassuring her with his presence.

"Because he deserved that...and I deserve this?"

He smiled warmly and moved his hands up to cup her face, rubbing the tears away with his thumbs. "Yes, Janet. You deserve to be happy. You deserve your reward for being a good mother and for being a good person."

Her eyes lowered again.

"But I lost one of them to him. I couldn't protect Bartleby. I couldn't keep them all safe. I tried but...I failed!" She looked away from his face, spotting a group of young children at play. Her voice trailed off as she saw a small clutch of women join in.

They were very clearly their mothers, one for each young boy or girl. One by one, they all cuddled in close for a lunchtime picnic, sitting on a big blanket. Close, warm, cozy.

Janet watched as they ate, feeling a small smile on her face. One of them, a fox boy of perhaps eleven or twelve leaned over to his pretty mother. She smiled and nodded and lifted up her shirt. To Janet's amazement, the fox woman's firm breasts jiggled free. Before she could even register that her smile had vanished and replaced by a slack-jaw look of surprise, the boy leaned in, snuggled close, and began to nurse from his mother. The lady leaned back and cradled him close. None of the other families at the blanket even so much as batted an eye. In fact, most of them were smiling, even fondling one another!

She looked back wordlessly at Zelampago, her momentary loss of hope for herself forgotten. "Are they...?"

"Yes, Janet. They're being close and intimate. That's part of the joy of this level. Here, we are free to love who we want, how we want, and so long as we don't force ourselves on someone else unwillingly, we are free to express it however we like." The Hellguardian indicated the compassion unfolding just down the hill.

"Up above, this would be frowned upon, spit at, crucified for the simple act of loving someone so fiercely you cannot hold it back. Here, it is common and accepted. It may seem weird to you, yes, but remember..."

She nodded at him, snrfling loudly as she uncharacteristically wiped her nose with the back of her wing. "Open mind, open heart."

He nodded again and sat back down next to her. She turned back towards the half-full glass of lemonade. Zel noticed she couldn't help but turn her gaze back towards the mother and son just down the way, eyes lost in thought.

Some time passed as they sat there at the table, in the shade of a large tree. Zelampago glanced up and saw, to his discomfort, the leaves were cycling between green, orange, and plaid. 

Eventually, Janet spoke up again. "You said seven."

"Hmmm?"

She looked back up at him. "Seven levels. What's the last?"

Zelampago looked out over the park, his face tightening somewhat. "Scum of the Earth," he replied softly. "A place for those with no chance at all."

Janet had put her wingtips to her lips. "How do you mean?"

"Allow me to put it to you as a way of numbers: here, in the Naughty level, there are a plethora of Hellguardians, like me. Enough to handle and take care of everyone we can. As you go lower, there are fewer, but still more than enough for the job."

He looked back at her, his gaze firm and set. "In Scum of the Earth, there is ONE Hellguardian."

Janet leaned back slightly, aghast at this notion. "One? Why one?"

"Because, dearheart, that one Hellguardian is more than enough for the job. He is nothing short of Terror Incarnate. Most of us up here do not know his name...but we know that he was one of the first, that he asked for that position, that he's never been replaced...and that he loves his work. And that barring anything else, Satan trusts him completely."

The bat shuddered next to him, as if a sudden breeze had just blown under her skirt and up her spine, like a chill from the grave.

"Take heart, though. You will never have to see that level ever. And no one from that level will ever rise. Not without severe changes and growth. Definitely not before enduring terror like they'd spread while alive."

The wind picked up, warm and fresh, and blew across both of their faces. Janet took a few steadying breaths of air and nodded.

"Is there anything else you'd like to know?"

Her eyes opened and this time, the fierceness Zelampago had seen before was more of a...resolved nature. As if she absolutely needed to know something.

"Is my son here?"

Zelampago once again took her hand. She did not flinch this time.

"He is, Janet. And to forestall your next questions, he's just fine. He's inquisitive, respectful, mindful, and very kind to others. He's made friends, goes to school...and waits for the day when his family will arrive to live with him," Zel finished. 

The batlady looked away, then back again. Zel pressed on.

"It's entirely your choice if you want to go see him now."

"NO! I...I mean, no." She had shouted her response, a kneejerk refusal not based on hatred, Zel knew this. She was...scared. Scared of what might happen, of her son remembering her failure to protect him at all costs.

"Okay. That's perfectly alright too. We won't go until you feel ready."

"We?"

He stood up and smiled at her, helping her to her feet. The wolfdemon swiftly stashed the glasses and now empty pitcher of lemonade back in his vest and they started down the winding sidewalk path that encircled the lush park's main open area.

"Yes, if you want, I will go with you. Remember, I am your Hellguardian! I am here to help, to serve, to protect, and to love. And if that means you need to lean on me in times of hardship, then lean all you wish." He smacked his chest. "I'm built tough, I can take it!"

Janet couldn't help but laugh at the play-bravado from her guardian. 

"That being said, Janet, I do feel I must ask what your answer is about your heart. You have less than 50 hours left before you must excise it if you intend to continue existing. Are you ready to part with it?" He stopped, regarding her.

"I...I need to feel okay with myself, I think...I don't know...I want to but...I need to...", the batlady toyed with one of her dress straps. 

Zelampago put a finger to her lips.

"Dearheart, allow me. Right now, you feel unsure again. You feel like a failure. You feel like you don't deserve to be here. Am I close?"

Nod.

"That's understandable. But believe me when I say that I think you deserve to be here...and that you aren't a failure. At worst, you are you, flawed as the rest of us."

Nod-nod.

"And I would very much want to have you stay, to have you be happy and find the peace you have wanted and longed for. And I may have the answer for that soon. But for now, I must depart. Besides, it's generally a good idea to let you take your time on your own and sort it out for yourself."

She talked past his finger. "Mmphkay."

Zel reached up and petted down the back of her head, once, soft and smooth. Janet's eyes fluttered and lidded, an unavoidable churr escaping her lips. "I will be here for you if you need me. If not, you can always find your way home."

He showed her how to open portals, internally thankful that they were behaving themselves for once. He pulled her into a hug and held her there for a time. 

Janet couldn't stop herself from nuzzling against his warm chest. This...this big blue being was so comforting, like a huge oak in a forest, unbending and unbreakable. 

Maybe life here wasn't so bad after all. She watched as the tall wolf leaned in and kissed her cheek, her face flushing beet red as he did, and turned on his heel. He got a three step running start, opened his great wings and soared into the sky.

He was out of sight long after she had turned back towards the entrance of the park.

Maybe it would be alright.

Maybe.

**Chapter 10n**
The Hunt Begins

Zelampago flew over suburb and park. Lake and forest. Janet's temporary housing had manifested quite some distance away from where Bartleby and his friends resided. He'd ensured that once he'd gotten the memo from Razielphustar. Just in case.

He thought of his squirrel friend, wondered where he was. 

He stopped flying and started flapping his wings in place, slow and steady, hovering a thousand feet up. He pulled out Ziggy and thumbed it on.

"Yes, Zelampago?"

"Ziggy, locate Razielphustar."

"Searching...searching..." *p-ping!* "Razielphustar is not on this level."

Yeah, thought so. He briefly considered checking the Boss Door function, but he was fairly certain that hadn't changed either. Heading back to Central HQ wasn't necessary or even needed. He could've gone to work on other cases. 

Could've.

He reached within his vest and pulled out the Ocularis Magnifectus. The shiny gold of the specs glinted in the midday sunlight. 

He could go do more work. Could find more cases, easy ones, young children, adults with broad minds...

He slipped the glasses on. 

The daylight instantly dimmed to a softer level. Currently, the shades didn't seem to be reading anything or searching for anything. No filters were on.

Well, let's try. I know I could find Crystal with my eyes closed, but still, a test is always worth it.

He pressed his finger to the small circular pad just in front of the earguard. "Find Crystal and Lexi." He had stayed over at their place last night. Lexi had been so hopped up from the war that had broken out at Rochamsawkem's that she asked Crystal in for a sleepover. He had slept on the huge squashy couch out in the living room, even though all three of the females had offered space in their beds.

Sex was nice, yes, but he had politely refused. Well, okay, so he had given in a little and slurped the girls' naughty bits till they were gibbering with glee, but after that, he begged off for some quiet time to get his thoughts together.

He had left this morning for Janet's cave as Gram had woken up, walking into the living room in her nightie. She'd agreed to let Crystal stay another day and had given him a wonderful set of kisses to the cheek to boot.

The glasses *whrzz'd* and a green filter slid over his vision. As he looked out over the landscape, he saw fitted over his vision was a very simple thick green arrow, pointing in the direction he knew the girls to be.

"Well...that's user-friendly..."

And with that, he dove, regained his speed, and flew off.

***

Crystal and Lexi were sitting in the living room, watching cartoons. They had scootched closer together, snugged up on one another even as they munched at their lunch. Gram had settled at the dining room table nearby, keeping an eye on them as she did her daily crossword puzzle (one of the special 400x400 square monstrosities the local paper put in at random).

There came a knock at the front door. "C'mon in!" Gram hollered, not looking up.

"Hey hey, Special Delivery, one order of wolfitude, magnum sized!" Zelampago climbed up the stairs from the entryway and turned into the living room. Crystal wiped her face off and squealed. "Yay! Plenty of room for that in here!"

The wolfdemon leaned into the kitchen and sniffed. "Mmm! I smell...grilled cheese sandwiches!" He snagged one off the counter from the plate that was piled high with the gooey lunch treats. "Hope you don't mind, Gram."

"Not at all, handsome." The elder hyena propped up her head and watched as the Hellguardian sat down between the girls, both of whom immediately snagged his waist and nuzzled in. They quietly watched the goofy cartoons, intermittently laughing at the comedic violence. 

Zel polished off his sandwich with one more big bite and laid back. "Did you have a good time last night, you two?"

"Oh yeah!" Lexi piped up. "Mr. Rochamsawkem was awesome. You saw how he used his dingle-dangle as an artillery cannon, right? The other side never saw it cumming!"

Everyone groaned at that, even as Lexi fell into a fit of high-pitched giggles. Zel petted her head affectionately. "Great! I know Razielphustar wanted to be there last night, but he was pretty busy last I had seen him."

Crystal nodded and played with his bellyfur with one finger. "Yeah. Bartleby seemed a bit down about it. Think that's why the Oakleys invited him over for a sleepover?" 

Lexi grinned at her playmate. "Definitely. Though knowing Xander and his mom and dad, there probably wasn't too much sleeping."

The chatter continued on like this as Zel acted like their big stuffed teddy bear. His mind raced with a sudden thought.

Why wouldn't he be there? He'd even mentioned it to me that he'd be going. He wouldn't let Bartleby down unless... Unless something was up. Something much bigger than he'd let on when they had met at the Lochenkee.

He continued to think, idly stroking the girl's faces and bellies, earning happy purrs and murrs from the general area of his midsection. 

What if it's connected somehow?

The glitches...Raziel being missing-in-action...no one having seen the Boss in days...*could* there be a connection?

Think, Zel. The last time you saw him, he looked worn out. Way more so than a string of bad cases would probably let on. That squirrel could fart sunshine if he really wanted to, so him physically appearing exhausted means...

Means what?

That he was doing something that took a great deal out of him. The blood-red squirrel had looked drained, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Yeah, he'd been playful as always, but even so, he was quieter than he'd remembered. For that matter, he probably would've joined in when Ainsley had molested him.

Not everything is as it seems.

No. It isn't. 

Zelampago prodded Crystal to pull Ziggy out of his holster. She handed it to him and turned back to the cartoons, now on a large blue cat and a black mouse busy smashing each other with hammers. Lexi leaned over and quietly whispered something in Crystal's ear. She nodded a bit and looked back at the screen.

Quietly, he looked at his file order.

Just the one case.

He drummed his fingers on the back of the sofa, murfling a bit as two sets of paws invaded his pants and sought out the beefy treat within. "Easy now, you two...all the time in the world for that soon enough."

"Awwww, okaaaay," came the double reply as both girls kept fiddling with him anyhow. He shifted his hips forwards, grinning to himself as he started thumbing through the Database.

Ziggy could connect to Central HQ Dispatch and download his case files remotely from anywhere in the world. This allowed for speedier recovery of notes and pertinent data. What it also allowed for was seeing if your fellow Hellguardians needed any help or advice, since you could check THEIR case files as well.

He entered in Raziel's name in the search menu and was rewarded with an extensive list of all the cases the squirreldemon had worked on. The number on the right was in the hundreds of thousands. Biting back a groan as the playful pups beneath his arms began to fish his raging stiffy out of his jeans, he redefined the search, asking for the most recent cases he'd worked on.

Ah, here we...HNG!...here we are. A young teen female, car accident, took up residence between Boomton and Dalyrise...erf!...Case resolved...two *weeks* ago?

He checked again. Yep, the case had been finished two whole weeks ago. There hadn't been any more cases since. Not one. Not even a note for correspondence or even advice given to other guardians. Nothing.

Raziel, what in the seven levels have you been doing all this time?

As if on cue, the screen went blank and the app closed itself.

"My apologies, Zelampago," Ziggy intoned, "but I seem to have been forcibly disconnected from Central Dispatch. Would you like me to try again?"

"Nngh...no...hhg...," panted the wolf, even as he saw the girls begin to enjoy their after-lunch treat. "Th...that's okay, Ziggy. I'll try again l...later..."

For now, though, he had the business at hand to sort out.

***

About an hour later, Gram proclaimed that the girls looked sleepy enough for a nap since they'd been up late the night before. Considering that summer break had begun and that schooling wasn't even remotely in the cards, both Lexi and Crystal had agreed. They were carried up the stairs, each by their own loved adult, and settled into Lexi's big bed.

As he tucked them in, Lexi had already passed out cold, a milk mustache of his cream still on her dreamily smiling lips. Crystal rubbed her sleepy eyes as Zelampago helped her undress down to her skivvies. She had been wearing lighter clothes today, a tanktop and light blue shorts, instead of her usual princess dress. He'd noticed earlier and had mentally noted that his little goo-vixen was steadily progressing out of her shell of comfort.

"Zel?"

"Mmm?"

"I love you."

He pulled her close and kissed her sweet head. "I love you too, cutiegoo." He settled her in and sat beside the bed. "Listen, sweetie, I need to let you know something, okay?"

"Hrm?" she breathed, eyes lidded as she gazed at him adoringly.

"I might be busy for the next little while. Something I've been working on has reached a point where I need to focus on it and try to get it fixed. I would like for you to stay with Lexi and Gram while I'm gone." He paused, looking up at Gram, who was leaning in the doorway. "If, of course, that's okay with you, ma'am."

"Of course it is. Crystal's a darling visitor, so she's more than welcome by my standards." Gram smiled at Crystal who had turned rosy pink in the cheeks at the compliment.

"Zelly, what's going on?"

He gently stroked down her arm as he reassured her, "It's not dire, but I think I am the only one who has put this together and I think somehow I'm supposed to be the person who fixes it. Or at least, tries to." He nuzzled her. "I won't be gone forever, you know that. You can't keep me away from you for all time."

"Mmkay..." She laid her head back on the pillow before rising up and shuffling in close to hug around his neck. He held her there for a long while before kissing her lovingly on the lips.

"Wuffy loves you always and forever, cutiegoo. I'll be back before you know it." He gently kissed her forehead, letting the barest trace of his power seep in. She murmbled sleepily and was out almost before she'd settled back in. Lexi rolled over and glommed herself in behind the little vixen and they began to snore and dream together.

Outside, after having gently eased the door shut, the pair of adults walked down the stairs to the entrance of the simple dwelling.

"I don't suppose you'll let me know what's going on, will you?" she asked, sizing him up and down.

"I...don't really understand it myself. Just that a bunch of pieces are starting to click together without my intending them to. Hell, I don't even know if they're connected, but something *is* happening. And I feel like I'm right," he said as he looked out the door window.

"Raziel hasn't been himself, there are weird things going on outside that are beyond even Hell's standards, and now I come into possession of a tool that can find anything there is to find...it's all too much to ignore as just coincidence anymore," Zel finished, staring at the Ocularis specs he'd pulled out from inside his vest.

Gram wordlessly crossed the distance and put her hand on his cheek before speaking. "For what it's worth, those two girls in there think you and your kin are heroes, especially Crystal. Don't you think they may be right? And if they are," she smiled at him, a knowing eyebrow quirked up as she continued, "doesn't it make sense that you want to right the wrongs out there?"

She was right. It was in his nature to want to do the right thing for those under his care. The glitches in the countryside were mere annoyances now...but if they became worse, he'd be placing others in possible danger by his ignorance.

"Yes, it does, Gram."

"Attaboy. Now go on and go do what you need to do. I'll watch over her for you until you return," she replied. He gave her a quick hug in thanks.

"Hell, I won't even make you owe me a night out on the town, young man!" She cackled at him, even as he laughed back and nuzzled her before opening the door. "For you, Gram, I think I could make a bit of time for that."

And with that, he walked outside and flew off once more.

***

Janet Fletch had walked and walked and walked. She had kept her eyes open and her thoughts to herself as the early summer day pressed on. Eventually, as she was gazing down at the sidewalk, she found herself stumbling. She'd tripped over a curbside that she hadn't noticed there before.

Strange.

Wasn't I just...somewhere else?

She looked around, but the only thing in front of her was a low two-story building, long and with multiple windows. A playground off to the right with a rather impressive playset was currently empty. She looked up at the name emblazoned over the top.

"Perdition Elementary. Interesting."

She looked around. It was fairly quiet. The mid-afternoon was approaching and it was starting to warm just a bit. It made sense to her that people would be inside, relaxing in their houses rather than outside like her.

She loitered for a little bit, unsure where to go, really. She hadn't meant to come here, but as Zelampago had showed her, getting home wasn't that difficult. She put her finger in the air and pulled down, thinking of her cave. The air in front of her split open, revealing a roiling cloud of red and white...which promptly zipped itself back up again.

She tried again. Push finger ahead, think of home, pull down. The portal opened...shuddered...halfway closed, then reopened.

Well, given how everything else around here was kooky fucknuts, why shouldn't this be?

Janet took a step or two back, then made a dash at the portal. It started to close, but by tucking in her legs, she managed to make it through to the other side...where she found herself in midair.

"Yow!"

The batlady plummeted and fell, tumbling end over end out of the sky. Before she knew it, however, she spread her wings, opened up, and flared back, catching an updraft up and away.

Th...this! THIS! FLYING! She was flying again!

She hadn't flown under her own power in over ten years! And yet, here she was, all frail and gone to seed and lumpy looking, pirouetting in the air and catching a thermal updraft to do it all again.

She found herself thrilled, brimming with simple joy. Open air like this, even when she still had her oomph while alive, was tough. A simple flyaround was a rare treat...and yet, she could probably do it as much as she wanted to for as long as she wanted to!

She suddenly realized with a flush that she was only wearing a dress and nothing else. Likely, she had flashed the entire countryside her goodies while doing a bit of those upside-down maneuvers and now everyone was probably watching her!

Janet zoomed down to the ground, flaring again and making a pinpoint landing, panting with the exertion.

That. That was worth something. That was more simple fun in ten minutes than she'd had in years. She only wished her family could've seen her.

Janet turned around and got her bearings. This wasn't her cave either. In fact, it looked more like an animal enclosure. She'd alighted on a plateau overlooking the grounds and saw that there were animals as far as the eye could see. Nonevs intermingling (in rather rowdy ways) with furs like her.

"Well that's nice, but...I want to go HOME." She stomped her foot into the ground and poked the air.

This time she peeked her head out the other side and was relieved to see that she'd come out in front of the door entrance to her temporary cave. As she walked forward, she saw an object laying on her simple brown doormat. The batlady approached, knelt down, and picked it up.

It was a carefully folded piece of white cloth. It wasn't until she opened it and two safety pins fell into her wing hand that she realized she was holding a freshly cleaned cloth diaper. 

She looked around.

No one in sight.

Fidgeting with the cloth in her hands, she opened the door and went inside.

The cool air of the darkened interior greeted her skin and she sighed, feeling the cozy atmosphere of the domicile close around her. She walked over and laid the diaper on her small desk, folding it back up. It was much too small for her anyhow, so she slid it into a desk drawer.

As she straightened up, she caught sight of the picture frame she'd set there this morning. Her and her baby boy, just after giving birth to him. 

She smiled despite herself. Fitting that a diaper would remind her of that again. They'd used the more snug tape-and-stick style diapers for all four of her children, but they had used a regular cloth diaper at the hospital. 

She sat down and looked in the desk drawer to her right. Inside was a simple notepad and a bright green pencil, sharpened and fresh. With a simple humming tune at her lips, she began to write her thoughts down, letting the day wash on behind her.

**Ch^ptEr E11even**
Engine Search

Zelampago flew and flew and flew, looking down at the ground.

From down there, it may not seem it...but up here, two thousand feet in the air? Judders and randomness were more frequent than before. Many of the residents were eyeballing these events (a pool that had somehow managed to have the water sitting five feet above where it should be, for example) with the same kind of resignation that here in Hell, weird happened.

But it wasn't *supposed* to be happening. Not like this.

*p-ping!*

The wolfdemon circled down and alighted on top of a pizzeria. Lovely smells of baking bread and melting mozzarella assaulted his senses as he checked Ziggy.

The GDA has notified him of Janet's actions after he'd left for Lexi and Gram's house. And sure enough, weird things were happening to her too. She'd actually managed to walk through a portal without realizing it, had gone through another to an erroneous destination, and had finally managed to get home.

Three tries was two too many for a system that was supposed to make life here in the Underworld a paradise.

*brrt!*

The tracker software scooted to one side as he saw an incoming message arriving:

"Zelly,

I went and took care of your queue for you. You'll have nothing more than the Janet Fletch case for now, but you'd best hurry up, laddie. She's nearing one day left now on her clock.

"That being said, I do wish you would let me help, boyo. I'd rather not sit idly by and watch as you run yourself all over Scratch's kingdom doing who knows what. 

"But I cannot stop you from doing what you feel is right. Just come back safe and sound and know that I, along with all of your friends, love you. 

Best of Luck,

Ainsley <O>"

There was a kiss on the letter right next to her signature. 

Great. Ainsley cleared my cases up so I only had to worry about Janet and this. If Raziel can do it, so can I. I don't think I'll be gone very long, but...well, I'd better start anyhow.

With a deft rollover, Zel turned in midair and retrieved the Ocularis Magnifectus from his pocket and slipped them on. "Show me the way to the Giving Force."

*shk!* *shk!* *shk!* *shk!* 

The spectacles rotated through a spectrum of colors and shadings before settling on something that somehow appeared to be both blue and grey at once. He looked down, hovering again, and then around. 

There! Just outside of that park, a long white line curved around. It glowed and seemed to throb with power. He landed next to it and put his hand down. He felt nothing, really. Lifting the glasses, he saw he was currently kneeling next to a small flower garden. He felt the grass under his hand, gently squeezed at the ground.

Still nothing. The Ocularis, however, showed a teeming line of power, pulsing off into the southwest. What had Barnabus called it? A leyline? 

He stood and pushed the Modify Vision space again. "Track leyline to source on this level."

*shk!* *shk!* 

A lavender tint took over his vision. He still saw the leyline beneath him, but now there were markings next to it.

Strange.. He knelt again, staring off to the southwest where the line disappeared over a low hill. Looking back down at the garden, he saw that the pulses of energy were flowing *away* from the garden towards the source. Yet the Ocularis had overlaid his vision with a route marker of sorts.

The energy should be coming *from* the source, not towards it.

His eyes widened and his breath quickened. 

THAT'S why there are glitches! That's why things aren't working right! Something somewhere is pulling energy from Hell's surroundings! He paused and straightened his back, hands clenching.

Someone was fucking with the Giving Force itself.

As impossible as that could be, if someone found a way to do it, that was a serious no-no. 

The door to the cottage he was currently standing in front of opened and a middle-aged lion peeked his head out. He'd obviously been sleeping as his mane was touseled in all directions. "Somethin' I can help you with, sir?" 

Zelampago straightened up and gave him a reassuring smile, even as two small faces peeked out between their papa's legs at him. "No no, it's alright. I'm just checking something out for a bit of research, you might say. I'll be on my way now." He stepped over and produced a pair of ice cream cones from his vest for the two kids, both of whom gave a very shy "Thankoo" around mouths of delicious cold cream. The lion shook his hand and shut the door.

Well, at least that's not taxing much...

Interestingly, he'd noticed that as he had pulled from his vest, a snaking trail from the leyline had reached out to the soles of his feet and up his leg. He'd not even really felt it, but there it was.

Man, the things you learn on a field trip! Zelampago grinned and flapped up once, waving at the cottage window where the occupants were smiling and waving back before rushing upwards. 

In the sky, he got a *much* better view of the surrounding areas and...there! Just about 20 miles to the southwest was the waypoint the Ocularis had set in his vision. He turned on the afterburners and zoomed off.

The waypoint led Zelampago to an open area of plains. No settlements or citylines in sight and some forested area back the way he came. It was quiet out here save for the wind blowing through the tall grass. 

Through his vision however, he saw a truly awe-inspiring sight. Multiple lines were converging here and the glow was bright, centered on one specific point at the top of the tallest hill. The Ocularis had switched at his command to x-raying the hill as he circled around it, but all he saw was just...a line going down.

He settled on the grass fifty feet away and stepped over until he was standing on the point where the lines were merging. It was odd. He felt a weird sensation, almost the opposite of vertigo and yet not at the same time. Like he was allowed by nature to be here and yet it wanted to pull him in anyways.

The blue wolfdemon stared down. The Ocularis *shk'd!* again, dimming his vision so he could stare at the bright pulsing energy. 

Okay then. Here's where I choose, isn't it? I've figured out the glitches and I'm standing where I need to be. I should call for some kind of back-up. Ainsley said she'd help...

He looked down again.

But I can't. She's busy with my cases now, Raziel's th'fuck-knows-where, and I'm certainly not going to bring a non-Guardian into all of this. Maybe Barnabus, but man, if Ainsley's busy, he's probably loaded with shit to do. He looked up and down.

I can do this.

"Show me how to proceed." *shk!* *shk!* *shk!* *shk!* *shk!* The Ocularis seemed to take a bit of time with this request, shuffling through multiple filters and combinations before settling on a pale pink layover. As he looked at it, he saw a ghostly image of himself reaching in to the center and pulling up...then falling forward?

Shrugging to himself, he reached down, felt the grass under his hand again. Taking a moment to make sure his hand was where the ghostly counterpart was, he gripped and pulled upwards.

The world turned upside down.

Zelampago flailed as his vision and his body's inner sense seemed to go haywire, the source rising up. He whipped the glasses off and barely had time to notice that there was a pure white hole in the ground before losing his balance completely and toppling over.

Into the hole.

His senses drained away and all went dark.

**cHapTEr Twe12ve**
Further Down and Further Out

...
...

...ey...
...o..ay?...

...on't th...e ca...r us...
...'re thes...

...m'on buddy...
"C'mon, wake up!"

Zelampago groaned and blearily opened his eyes. It felt like someone had tried to squeeze him into a tube of toothpaste, run it over, then squeeze him back out again. He pushed himself up off the ground and blinked, looking around.

The sky above him was overcast, grey and dreary. The weather felt muggy and oppressive, like a heavy atmosphere had just plunked down right on top of him. As he looked around, he noticed he wasn't alone. Standing next to him in semi-ragged looking clothing were an otter and a lynx. Both were looking at him with something bordering amazement on their faces.

"Nnrgh, where am I?"

The pair of furs looked at each other and stared back at him. "Well, yer a Hellguardian, shouldn't you be able to tell us?" said the otter, getting up and helping the big wolf to a shaky stand.

"Yes, well...I'm not completely sure what just happened to me so a bit of help would be entirely appreciated," he replied, dusting himself off. His hair seemed to be standing straight up.

The lynx piped up, "Well, dunno where you came from, tall, dark and gruesome, but yer standing in Faraday Park, down here in the Jerks level."

Zelampago paused and straightened up, regarding them. "Am I now?"

"Yeah," said the otter, helping his companion to his feet and continuing, "We were just walking home from a mandatory meeting and saw you fall outta the sky! Boom, crash! Just like that!"

The lynx nodded and walked around Zelampago, sizing him up and down. "We figured you looked like you were in trouble since HGs don't just fall out of the sky without meaning to."

The wolfdemon turned and regarded them fully, hands on his hips. They were looking at him with surprise still registering on their faces, but something else as well: friendliness.

"Yes, well, for now, let's just say I took a wrong turn somewhere and got a bit twisted up. My name's Zelampago."

"Greetins! I'm Garrick," said the otter and pointed to his companion, "and this is Brandt."

"Howdoyado."

Zel peered at them, then up at the sky before looking around now that his senses seemed to be back in order. 

The Jerks level was, as he'd described it, miserable. Things around here looked like a ghetto and there wasn't a lot of happiness to be seen. Furs walked around on sidewalks and through backyards, but there was definitely a missing spring in their step. Still...

"Soooooo, what's the story then, Zelampago?" Garrick had moved closer to nose at his side. Zel gently pushed his snout away. "As I said, I'm on the trail of something and I think I got a bit mixed up. It's not really anything you can do anything about, but I appreciate the concern."

"Oh! Well, that's okay," said the lynx, stretching out. "Really, it was kind of nice to see someone new around here that wasn't...y'know, down in the dumps. Plus, you're like the first HG we've seen in a long time who isn't trying to teach us anything or help us learn or so on. You look...well, new!" Brandt sat down on his haunches and perked his ears forward at Zel.

"Yeah...plus...well, we kinda wanted to try and do some good around here, see if it'd improve our standings, maybe help us feel better, that sort of thing," Garrick explained, waving his webbed hands around. "Oh yeah! That reminds me."

He patted at the sides of his frayed shorts, rummaging around in them. Brandt straightened up and laid his head on his friend's shoulder, peeking over to see.

"I found these off about twenty feet from where you landed. Are they yours?" He pulled out something shiny and offered it to Zelampago. It was the Ocularis Magnifectus.

Zel blinked. He hadn't even realized they'd slipped out of his hands until that moment! He nodded and held out his open hand. "Yes they are. They're a very special gift from a friend of mine. May I have them back now?"

"Garrriiiiick, those things are awesome...do you have to give them back?" Brandt was poking the otter's side, wheedling at him as Garrick turned his head and grunted at him.

"Yes. Yes I'm sure. They're not ours. We found them, but if Zel says they're his, they have to be. Hellguardians don't lie if they have no reason to."

"Awww," Brandt pouted as the specs were handed over to Zelampago, who began looking at them from various angles, checking for damage. "I would've liked me a pair of thems."

"Brandt, with you, you only liked it because it was shiny. You know that'll stand out around here!" Zel looked up and realized that the otter was entirely right. At least as far as he could see, there wasn't a lot of objects in sight that weren't in some state of disuse or dingyness. 

"Yeaaah, but..."

"But nothin, bucko! Now let it go!"

Zel turned, smiling wryly at them. "You know, I must say, I'm impressed." Their heads snapped back simultaneously, looking up at him as he finished his inspection of the ancient glasses. He set them above his forehead in his hair and hooked his thumbs back in his pockets again.

"I mean it! This level has quite a few people who are rather selfish. Far more than you, Brandt." The lynx looked down and away, blushing embarrassedly. "And yet, you gave me back that which belonged to me without hesitation. You did the right thing, AND you did it of your own free will!"

Garrick and Brandt stared at him, goggle-eyed.

"I wouldn't begin to know how much that might count for something, but at the very least, it's a start, gentlemen." Zelampago pulled his GDA out. "Say Cheese!"

"Cheese?" They both smiled confusedly, big toothy grins whilst looking at one another. Zel snapped a picture and filed it away.

"Ziggy? Cross reference Garrick and Brandt here. Find their Guardian caseworkers and notify them of their actions here. They did something honest and fair of their own will towards a Hellguardian and it should be noted as such."

"Compliance!" churrup'd the datapad.

The two stammered at the wolfdemon as he began to stretch his wings out and back again, getting the feeling back inside them. He simply set a paw on both of their shoulders. 

"You have my thanks, guys. Take care of yourselves and each other. Sometimes, all we have is the friend that we trust."

With that, he walked off, still stretching his limbs.

The pair stood there for a moment before Brandt piped up: "Still woulda been awesome to have those shades o'his."

"Oh stow it, you goofball."

***

Zel decided that, until he needed to, he'd use his wings to boost his jumps, but wouldn't fly. Somehow, coming through the conduit had squeezed him for everything he was worth and, like as not, he'd probably caught a bit of the latent misery of this level on the way down. He felt sore, but he could get over it. For now, though...

As strange as it is to say, that was one of the weirder experiences I've had down here. And this is after last night's festivities!

He flap-jumped up a set of buildings, gaining a few stories worth of height, and started to really get his bearings back. It wasn't often that he came down here. He'd only ever had two cases be dropped here and both of those were transferred off to more adapted Hellguardians. "Watchers" as they were known by down here. 

He'd not meant to go down to this level. But thinking back on it, it made sense. The leyline had been angled down and if something was drawing power away from the levels, it'd make sense that it was going down...possibly.

Maybe.

Shit, he didn't know. Half the time, he was connecting dots and ending up with a weird banana picture instead of a puppy. He didn't like flying by the seat of his pants, but he was in the thick of this, might as well see it further.

Snapping the Ocularis Magnifectus back into place, he looked around as it started scanning. He quickly found a nearby leyline running eastward and bounded off over the rooftops. As he hopped and leapt from rooftop to rooftop, the feeling and strength returned to his wings and he was soon making greater leaps. Then gliding. Then finally flying once again. Here though, he found the simple joy of flight muted somewhat.

Makes sense, really. The atmosphere here is a bit more oppressive, humid. Uncomfortable. Honestly, it's like trying to fly through molasses.

He gazed down and shook his head as he watched some of the residents of this level shuffle on with their days, a few heads inclined to watch him pass by. He hoped his passage would give them something to feel aside from misery.

That being said, the glitching isn't quite as bad here. Damn, if that's the case, it must be getting *worse* the higher up you go in the levels. Really Quite Nice must be seeing some serious shit right now.

In the end, he dropped into a residential area. A tall set of buildings clustered around a central open court area. They looked like housing projects. Some of them were run down, tagged and painted over time and again. The leyline led here, just next to the weakly trickling fountain in the middle. Zelampago thumbed the input pad again and his visions *shk-shk'd!* again.

"Yup," he said aloud softly, "Goes down again."

Getting here wasn't exactly fun. Taking four more possible crash landings seemed like a great way to punish himself and little more. He sat on the fountain lip and gazed at the white energy well just across the way. A set of adults sat at a nearby foldable card table, playing poker with one another. Zel watched them play and cleared his muddled thoughts as he observed.

They seemed in good spirits, joking lightly, taking good hands well and bad ones in good cheer. They wagered peanuts and pretzel sticks, even the occasional pack of smokes. Zel smiled to himself. Maybe they'd come due for a relocation soon. If one could find happiness here, they'd probably be ready to enjoy the Naughty level safely and without incident. At least, they wouldn't have much chance of sliding back.

"Sliding...", the wolfdemon muttered aloud. 

He pulled out Ziggy and opened the AI command prompt. The small armadillo AI *peeem'd!* into view, floating in midair above his physical case. "How may I help, Zelampago?"

"Ziggy, you're aware of what I'm doing, yes?"

"Correct. You are trailing leylines and descending through the levels of Hell, tracking it to its source."

Zel nodded. "Process and advise possible strategies to speed up tracking time."

The digital armadillo folded his arms and looked down. The data streams wrapping around his shell and limbs whirred into action. Zel didn't have long to wait. Ziggy unfolded his arms and looked up.

"Currently, several options come to mind. Firstly, your current strategy will far outlast the time you have set as your point-of-no-return."

Right. I told him that I needed to find Janet by that time and get her heart. Past that would be risking everything.

The AI continued. "With that in mind, I suggest cutting out the middleman and going past the fourth and fifth levels to number six, Complete Assholes."

"Why there?"

"Simple logic: going there will allow you to extrapolate if the leylines lead down further," the AI intoned, looking up at Zel as he said gravely, "down into Scum of the Earth."

"Right. Check first before I just blindly rush in."

"Indeed."

"Well, that's great, but what do I do? I could end up on the other side of Complete Assholes from the leyline portal!"

Ziggy frowned and crossed his arms again. This time, the AI took a whole minute processing. Zel waited with bated breath, not even caring about the playful jeering going on over at the poker game.

"Answer: I have located and created a waypoint at both your exit from Naughty and your entry here, into the Jerks level. As well, I have marked this point."

"Yeah, so?"

"Zelampago, I believe there may be a pattern. Observe."

Ziggy held his hands up and a pair of images came up...sort of. Ziggy overlaid the two massive spheres of Naughty and Jerks (the Naughty sphere being a bright red, Jerks a sort of steel grey). The globes zoomed in as the AI waved his hands around, manipulating the image so Zelampago could follow his line of reasoning.

Finally a small cross-section of the combined maps was in view.

There, his ungainly exit from Naughty, then up and over to the right where he entered Jerks...then here in the plaza, the exit from Jerks to Dickheads, right and a bit down from the entrance...

"I'll be damned again..."

The leyline waypoints formed a spiral.

"Hot damn, Ziggy! That's beautiful! I'd kiss you if I could!"

He stood up and ignored that he'd basically shouted aloud across the whole plaza. "Now I can go straight to Scum of the Earth!"

"Inadvisable, Zelampago."

The Hellguardian stopped and looked back down. "Why?"

Ziggy looked down and appeared to rub his arm, looking sheepish. "Currently, no map for Scum of the Earth exists in the Archives."

Whoa. 

"None?" He looked down, his ears perked forward.

To his surprise, the AI just sort of mumbled, "Mm-mm...nothing."

"Hmmm...well, what about this? I've been to Complete Assholes before, several times. Could you extrapolate the spiral down that far? If you can find the exit or at least, estimate where it might be, that'll severely cut down the time I need to travel."

"Compliance!" The AI looked back up again, happily whirring away. The map began overlaying the next four landscapes of Hell down on top of one another. As Zel watched, the spiral line cleared and began to tunnel its way down before ending with a *bing!* at a point in the sixth level.

Excellence. Now...this time, no mistakes. He'd take the elevator instead of risking a portal. 

Zelampago made to put away the GDA...and stopped when he heard Ziggy reply, "Zelampago?"

"Errr, yes Ziggy?"

"C...could you kiss me anyhow? I know it's not the same, but I'd like that anyways."

Zelampago smiled and kissed the small portrait of his AI companion, right smack on the lips. "Mmmmwah! There. I never refuse a request for a kiss."

The wolfdemon watched as ones and zeroes poured out of the AI's ears like steam, his color switching from the soft cerulean blue to bright pink, a whistling noise coming from somewhere inside the device. Zelampago laughed, holstered his assistant and patted it.

"Heh...Good boy."

With that, he concentrated and drew a large square in the air with one finger, then a line down the middle to make two even rectangles.

*BAWHNG.*

The doors opened up to reveal an old-school elevator with hand-crank. He climbed inside and closed the mesh, watching as the doors closed too. Zel hadn't used this method in a while, but it WAS reliable and worked on demon magic rather than the Giving Force. He thought hard and concentrated on the coordinates Ziggy had displayed before shutting down.

"Last stop, Complete Assholes! Murderers, Monsters, and Mega-douchebags." 

Winching the crank forward, he plummeted down. The elevator dropped, descending quickly. 

It didn't take long at all before the elevator slowed and stopped, thudding to a halt with another ominous *BAWHNG.* Zelampago let go of the crank and breathed in deep, exhaling slowly. He'd need to get his defenses up. This level was designed to be utterly heinous. Unprepared, he'd be a wreck before he knew it.

His eyes closed and he held his paws close together in front of his chest, one upside down, the other right side up. As he concentrated, he felt a small pulse of demonic magic form, then ooze its way up over his arms, down his chest, and over the rest of his body. 

"Never fails to surprise me how goofy that feels..."

He gazed down as he opened his eyes. His body was now emitting a soft crimson glow. 

Perfect.

With a resigned sigh, he opened the elevator door into the howling torrent that was the outside areas of Complete Assholes and immediately regretted calling 'Jerks' a miserable level. He'd nearly forgotten how bad it could get down here, how inhospitable this level was at times. Still, he'd not be here long. He hit the input pad on the Ocularis again. "Find the Giving Force leyline waypoint!" He'd practically had to shout since the howling winds seemed to just want to shriek in his ears, even with the guardian shield active.

The glasses *shk'd!* and he viewed the world through that familiar lavender tint once more, and...YES! Ziggy got it right, the waypoint was just around this rocky formation. Zelampago took off, following the rough path of howling faces in the ground. A brisk jog took him to...well, to really an almost calm point in the storm. Under the outcrop's far side, a small sheltered area waited. Inside, the leyline waypoint pulsed and throbbed...and went down again.

Zel stared at it for a long time.

Down.

Down there.

Scum of the Earth.

As far as he knew, he'd be the first in a long time to go there voluntarily and NOT on a bet. As he'd been training after being damned into this form, some of the more spry trainees had made a bet with one another. 'Who could stay in Sow-Tee the longest?' He'd not participated, but had heard the ruckus when they had returned...or rather, when the recruit who had nutted up and peeked his head in through the portal had returned.

Poor bastard's hair was still shock white. He did eventually get the piss stains out of his crotch, though. Their main instructor, a massive dragon with huge bullhorns and a pair of mammoth breasts to boot, had cradled the poor sap against her chest, holding him there as he recovered. She had told all of them summarily that, 'while it was perfectly within our right to go there, no reason at all exists that you SHOULD. That level is guarded enough and is just not fun at all.'

And here he was about to divebomb in to track it on the off-chance he'd find...whatever it was that was screwing with the Giving Force.

"Ziggy?"

*pr-peep?*

"Could you pull up a picture of Crystal for me?"

"Compliance, Zelampago."

The GDA's projector beamed out of the hip holster and displayed an image: Himself and Crystal, standing in front of a massive dancing machine at the arcade last night. Both of them had leis on (from a passing by conga-line that he'd not asked about) and were showing victory handsigns at the camera. He put on a big toothy grin, eyebrow cocked, looking for all the world like the Cheshire Cat. She was simply smiling wide and happily, caught mid-giggle (he HAD slipped his hand under and tweaked her buns before the picture snapped).

"Thanks...Thanks, Ziggy. Keep that image on hand for me. In fact, load up a few of the kids and of Janet as well. I...I-I might need them."

"Yes, Zelampago. Do be careful."

"...Yeah..." The wolfdemon slapped his sides and thighs, stretching for no real reason other than to delay the inevitable. THIS time, however, he'd be ready for that weird inversion of his senses. He keyed the Ocularis. "Uhm...help me not be weirded out by the waypoint opening?"

A very odd thing happened then. Instead of one filter, he got several, assembling in a random tile pattern over his vision. Nearly every color he'd seen so far and some he'd not, all seemingly tossed into the mix at random. 

"Well, either that means it's ready or it just shat itself trying to process. Either way, let's go!" The wolfdemon reached into the center of the waypoint, grabbed the...whatever it was...and pulled up.

Immediately, he saw WHY he had been fucked up before. He'd literally pulled the whole waypoint up, stretching it like a weird piece of taffy. And since it didn't seem to like that, gravity went all bonkers around it. Time and space were bending around this...this thing, like a black hole made of white light. 

And even better, he'd tumbled in because by pulling up, he'd widened the base, losing his balance as the ground beneath him gave way to the hole. 

Not this time. 

He let go of the waypoint and steeled himself before diving in, wings tucked tight to his back. As he entered, the waypoint *snapped* shut, detonating with a thunderous crackle of energy before settling back to its normal state. 

He was on his way.

**Ch^pt3r THiR13en*****
Quiet Memories

Janet finished with her sketching. She'd been a dab hand at it back in the day. Some nighttime art classes at the local community college had helped her after Chuck and Tricia had left for college and their adult lives after. Mandy had even come along and watched, bored but unable to resist her eyes wandering up from her smartphone to observe her mom charcoaling in a figure line of a posing model. After finishing a few simple sentences of the things Zel had said to her, she'd pulled out a blank white artist's pad and had found all manner of art supplies within the desk drawer. She'd pulled out a sketching pencil and had drawn the first thing she could think of.

They had been simple and quiet, the art classes. The perfect thing to get her mind off of her steadily emptying nest and to keep her from worrying about finding another man. 

She'd never married again. A few dates, sure. Even a couple of visits to her bed with another male, but nothing lingering past a breakfast meal and a friendly-if-guarded kiss on the cheek goodbye. But no marriages.

She had made up her mind on that.

Janet stopped and set her pencil aside, using the thick white eraser she'd gotten from the drawer to clean a few sketch-lines here and there.

It was pretty good, she had to say, as she set the tools aside and angled up her desk lamp. A rough bust of her Hellguardian, Zelampago. She'd drawn him looking off to the right, a simple expression of quiet thought on his face. His dark blue headfur fell down behind his horns and back. She'd even made sure to get the shadings right so his vest was partially displayed.

It...*looked* good, anyhow. She set it aside and stood up, stretching before scooting over to the window. 

She could really go for some World Buffet take-out right abou-

*KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK!*

She whirled around, startled by the knock at her door. 

"Hush, Janet-girl. It isn't the Grim Reaper or Santa Claus or anyone like that...I hope," she muttered as she crossed over to the entrance and opened it up.

To her absolute shock, a Siamese cat stood there, smiling at her expectantly.

"Helloooo!"

"Uh...helloooo?"

The cream and brown kitty flashed a winning smile at her and hoisted up a plastic bag filled with white cartons. "For you! We received your order about a minute ago and are proud to deliver it for you on time (give or take fifty seconds)!"

"We?" She took the proffered bag and sniffed at it, smelling...something garlicky.

"Yes, we! Bull Inna-The CHinEse Shoppe, your one stop shop for all the great oriental cuisine you could want! Our delivery's fast, our delivery men faster...", he waggled his eyebrows at her, earning an unstoppable bark of laughter from her, "and our food as nice as you please. Do order again! Or...crave it, anyhow!"

With that, he spun on his heels and skipped off. Janet noticed that he wasn't wearing pants and that someone had drawn on his bouncing asscheeks: "FOR FOOD WITH A GOOD THYME, CALL B.I.T.CH.E.S.!"

Now that was just an awful pun...

Still, she shut the door and sat at her desk, sniffing at the bag.  Yep, definitely garlic and rosemary in there. She opened it up and found that it contained several cartons of sweet and sour meats, a batch of crab rangoons, several eggrolls, and what appeared to be a bright pink fortune cookie. 

Her belly grumbled appreciatively and she pulled out the provided china plate and fine silverware from the bag, pouring out the contents as her desk gently slid the sketches she'd made out of sight into a drawer. She tucked in quickly and started devouring.

Oh my stars, this is deliiiish...just like that takeout eatery we always used to go to...

She paused, a noodle of chow mein dangling from her lips.

That is, they went there because it was cheaper for her to get takeout than to spend time at home cooking full course meals for three kids and herself on a shoestring budget. Plus, the proprietors, a pair of Siamese cats not unlike the nice naked gentleman at the door, had offered her their food until she got on her feet again after having to pay for a lawyer AND a full funeral, back to back.

Mandy had taken Bartleby's death especially hard. He'd been older than her, but had doted on his little sister, even when she was super clingy. He'd never minded when she had spent hours drawing on his wings and on his face, making him "sooper pwetty!"

Tricia and Chuck had moved on, but they'd still been bitter for a long time. Seeing their dad jailed and sentenced had been a source of vicious vengeance for them. And for her.

Janet pulled a cream soda out of the bag and opened it, sending a fresh spray of tastyness into the air. 

Things had been hard for a very long time after that. Nearly until the kids left for their lives. Mandy had gone off to college some 12 years after the murder and had left Janet by herself in a fully empty house. The art classes had helped and she'd taken on more work at her company, earning a pay raise and finally a promotion to management.

The batlady crunched on one of the eggrolls and found it to be stuffed with meat, vegetables, and...chocolate? She took another bite and shrugged. Still good anyhow.

She'd not passed a day without thinking about her son. Wondering if he'd have gone on to be that photographer he'd once talked about or maybe even a writer. Maybe he'd go on and work in the medical industry! It was nice to think on...but she knew it was simple pipe dreams.

Setting the silverware back down on the plate with a clink, she watched as the plate scooted itself off the desk, flatware in tow, and crashed spectacularly into the bag. The plastic bag then crumpled in on itself, let off a sound that was either a wet fart or "La Cucaracha", and rolled like a tumbleweed across the room, up the wall, and out the open window.

Despite her brooding, Janet smiled. 

In a way, she supposed she could learn to adapt here. The deliveryman hadn't rattled her cage quite like the pair of aerial lovers had a while back. It was odd, but she could learn to live with it.

She glanced over at her maternity picture.

Would he forgive her? For failing him?

Janet Fletch looked down into her sauce-stained winghands and began to lick them clean, her long tongue deftly snaking out to lick the sweet sauce up. She paused as she reached her right hand, the same one Zel had gripped earlier that day as she had asked him about Bartleby.

He had offered to take her and she had refused, begging off because it didn't feel right.

Why?

Because she couldn't forgive herself? Because she was a failure? Because...

Because, because, because.

Because nothing. Because she was scared he'd not love her anymore. Irrational as it was, she was afraid her boy had simply gone and moved on without her.

*clunk.*

The maternity photo had toppled over. A new photo frame was sitting in view now, even as the desk lamp swung over to highlight it. She frowned at the desk. 

"Alright, you, I know you're doing that somehow. You can knock that RIGHT off this instant, I'll find my own answers," she said, admonishing the furniture with a stern swat across the drawer handles. The lowest drawer opened and closed with a sound much like a mumble from a kid who'd been caught filching cookies.

The new photo was one of her. Startlingly recent too, it was taken a few weeks back before her sudden escalation into dire straits. She was in the hospice, that godawful gown on her thinned body. But beside her and in the picture as well, were Chuck, Mandy, and Tricia. Each was in their thirties or above, Chuck in his forties. All of them were smiling and pinching each other's cheeks, even as she pinched their ears.

Janet laughed despite herself. The orderly had come in during a playfight her adult children had instigated to make her smile. She'd pulled them in and started laying down a pinch-beatdown like an old pro before he'd barged in and told them to knock it the heck off.

Then he'd laughed when he'd seen the resulting chaos of pinches and pokes and nibbles and had just taken a picture with his cameraphone, printing out copies for them later that day.

He'd been such a nice man. Big as a mountain though...

She looked at the photo, then sighed and smiled down at the desk. "Alright alright, thank you. I needed that and you provided it properly. Good job."

*whhhnng-clunk!* went the desk, seemingly quite pleased with itself.

Apparently, in Hell, the furniture is both functional and affordable as well as a certified psychologist, she thought to herself, gazing fondly at the memory.

And then it slowly came to her.

Her kids hadn't ever abandoned her. Even when she'd been spiraling down and down into sickness and eventually death, she'd had them by her side, just as she had been by theirs at the loss of their brother and father.

Three of them.

So, wouldn't it stand to reason that the fourth probably might as well?

She gazed long and hard at the two photos. At her pile of drawings in the corner and at her hands.

Yes.

It would.

She somehow just...wanted nothing more than to see him, right that instant, but...she wanted it to be special. Wanted it to feel special, to be proper.

She wanted her son to have his mom back. She wanted her son back. 

She wanted to stay.

SHE wanted to stay.

She got up and walked to the window, looking out at the sunset that was in the middle of being absolutely gorgeous.

She WANTED to stay.

She needed it, was ready for it. 

Reds and oranges mixed in with yellows, pinks, whites and light purples across the horizon, dancing and swirling about in an amazing carnival of color. The clouds were disappearing and she could see the stars above starting to appear.

She could take anything. She knew it, she felt it. She'd not survived cancer, but she'd survived forty some-odd years with an aching hole in her heart. And now, she could get that hole patched permanently.

She wasn't a failure.

She wasn't anything but herself, flawed but loved anyhow. 

"Just like everyone else," Zel had said. She found herself blushing, thinking of the big blue wolf again, of his powerful chest and how she had found it comforting to push her cheek against it.

Well..., the batlady thought, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror across the way, *almost* like everyone else...

If she was to be presentable, she'd need a makeover.

Right on cue, the desk's central thin drawer opened with a cash register's *KACHING!*, and a plethora of beauty supplies fanned out as well as a magazine emblazoned with "HOW TO MAKE THE NEW YOU: THIS YEAR'S BEST GUIDE FOR NEWCOMERS ON BODY REMODELING."

She gave the desk a loving pat. "Oh my yes, you're coming home with me."

And so she got to work.

*-*ccCHaPt3r 14ur14een&&*
System Crash

The second Zelampago exited the waypoint's tunnel into the deepest level of Hell, he started regretting it. 

No. Sooner than that. Instantly. 

Entering Scum of the Earth was like being slammed in the gut with a baseball bat. Even through his guardian shield magic, the wolfdemon was stunned and struck, unable to get his bearings or even open his wings properly. He finally managed to get a functional glide going and...

Christ below...

The surrounding landscape was bleak. Jagged rocks sprouted up everywhere. Literally everywhere. Zelampago couldn't see anything that resembled a suitable flat landing area for miles. He doubted he would have. 

His skin felt like it was on fire. He turned his head and found his eyes widening as his fur was indeed slightly singeing itself in patches. Slowly, but surely.

On and on the surrounding areas seemed to be nothing but empty jaggedness. Every now and again, there would be a slightly higher spike in the ground, but nothing majorly different. He'd made a long left turn, looking off to the right as he scanned around. Turning his head to the left, he...he saw...

Oh.

Oh no.

No. No NO NO!

NO, WRONG! WRONGWRONGWRONG!

He had realized several things upon simply moving his head down and then left. He wasn't just on a plain of rocks, but in a crater...and it appeared to be impossibly wide, going on forever. And in the center of this, a mountain. At the top...something stood at the peak. Something large and just-as-impossibly dark. Twin beams of light scanned the land behind him as he started to feel his wings tremble and fail.

Searching.

Looking for something...something to torment, to rend, to maim and brutalize, sheerly for the sick joy of hearing a terrified scream and wail.

He could not see past a strange veil of darkness around...the whatever it was in there...but it felt *wrong*. Utterly and completely wrong, as if the point of its existence was to be as heinously evil as possible.

Zelampago's wings gave out. He caught himself and tumbled backwards.

SHIT!

SHITSHITSHITFLYFLYFLY

The beams were moving in his direction, like a death ray from some mad scientist. And they were gaining on him. He spun in mid-air and shot like a bullet away from the mountain.

GOGOGOGOGO

FLY!

FASTER. FASTER!

His brain was panicking, overriding any and all sensibility; his skin felt ablaze, wings shedding feathers as he flapped and pumped and pushed for all he was worth.

ESCAPE. PLEASE. NEED TO LEAVE NOW.

The beams had nearly caught up with him. He...he heard the voices inside the beams. Cackling, shrilling, existing only to rend and tear anything they fell upon.

With a desperate hoarse scream, Zelampago spun himself in the air like a drill, rotating fast, and tore a hole in space, escaping inside before the beams fell upon it a split second later, evaporating it utterly.

Four hundred and twenty-two miles away, he shot out of thin air and tumbled headlong into the ground. His body bounced and cracked and snapped against the rough terrain, ricocheting off one of the big spires at something approaching 100 MPH. The blue Hellguardian arced up and down after hitting that pillar and landed with a spectacular crash on the far side of an upward jutting ledge.

Zel lay there in a broken and bloody heap. He moaned and cried out, both of his wings snapped in several places, his right arm folded under him in an obscene manner. His clothing had torn to pieces, leaving him with a very ugly pair of shorts. The vest had managed to avoid being roughed up, but it was still slightly tarnished.

The Ocularis Magnifectus had landed next to him, still shining, still pure gold. 

Ziggy had been torn from his hip and flown off somewhere.

He was alone.

Utterly and terrifyingly alone.

So alone.

He screamed out in utter despair before losing consciousness, inky blackness closing his vision up and swallowing him whole.

***

Eons seemed to pass. 

It had to be.

Felt like it, anyhow...

He opened his eyes slowly and turned slightly to the left, immediately wishing he hadn't. Several dozen parts of his body started screaming out.

Pain.

So much pain.

He'd not felt it in forever. Not since his death so long ago. This...this was...

Well, shitty.

His eyes opened blearily. He'd managed to land after pinballing off the local scenery on the far side of something akin to a small butte, rising up out of the ground. There were several wind-sculpted ledges back here and by all luck, he'd bullseyed the top of the butte and had rolled down, out of sight of the mountain.

He grit his teeth and braced himself, rolling over and screaming in anguish as his shattered arm flopped limply by his side, joined by the mess that were his now useless wings.

Where was he?

He looked out, realized his positioning on the back end of the outcropping, and began peeking around the corner. 

He barely glimpsed the mountain before recoiling back around the edge. He'd shot back with such force that he'd slammed backwards into the rocky cliff. So much trauma arched through his spine that he doubled over and puked, coughing up blood and bile that...that seemed to be immediately absorbed by the rock.

He kneeled. One leg, then the other...and then he sort of...fell onto his chest. 

Not sure, but I think a few ribs are cracked too. Wouldn't know, never had that happen before. But then, I've never been chased by fucking evil itself before either...

This was just perfect. Here he was, the shining paladin, the big goddamned hero, a fucking wreck in the bottom-most pit of Hell. His stuff was torn up, Ziggy was gone and probably dashed to bits against the rocks, his body was broken in more places than a puzzle, and he had no idea what to do.

Stupid.

Stupid stupid stupid.

Yeah, sure, Zel. You can make it, he thought, bitterly cursing his idiocy. Just waltz right in, ask Big Evil over there where the door is, and saunter on through, easy as you please. Now everything's gone fucknuggets and you're basically living proof that you really just cannot win some days.

His face grimaced. Pulled itself up as he began to cry bitter tears.

What a crock of shit. How could he EVER think that he could fix things? That he'd fix the glitches and would just easily sway J...J...Jan? Janet? What's-her-name...whatever, whoever she is to just give her heart up and walk off into the sunset? Seriously! He was new to this! Barely a few years into being a Hellguardian.

Ainsley, Razielphustar...anyone. ANYONE could have done this better.

All he'd managed to do was get lucky a few times, stumblefuck his way through everything, and land facefirst in the dirt for his troubles.

The tears increased as he started to sob. Great tears streaked their way down through his cheekfur, his eyes watering as he cursed and kicked at himself and generally just couldn't find any reason to ever exist.

Who did he think he was...a hero?

No.

No, he was just kidding himself. 

He always had been.

Not a hero...just a wannabe. Just someone trying to erase his past feelings of inadequacy and helpless rage.

Fat lot of good that had resulted in...

He just wanted to die again. To die permanently. To be gone, to stop feeling anything so that he could just...not fuck up anything or anyone else ever again.

Something was approaching. 

He could barely see it, but whatever it was, it was strangely colored for the bleak grey environment...and it was flying towards him.

He didn't move. Didn't care enough to. Whatever it was, he just wanted it to come over here and kill him, preferably with as little taunting as possible, but...he wouldn't fault whatever it was for going to town on him.

A red, green, and orange blur landed in front of him. 

"Here you are."

The voice was slow, strangely so. Like whoever was speaking wasn't in any particular hurry to speak normally. 

'Le...leave me...alone..." Zelampago rasped at the voice, closing his tear-burned eyes. 

"Oh. Right. You are not from here. Here...let me offer you this."

A flat hand...flipper? *Something* pressed against his cheek. It was warm and mildly comforting. Then the pain and agony of his body stopped at once. All of it, boom, gone.

Zel's breath hitched and he rubbed at his eyes slowly, looking up at what could only be, of all things, a turtle.

He stood possibly four feet tall and was wrinkled beyond belief. A long, low white beard trailed from his chin down to his legs. His green skin was offset by a thick plating running along his arms and legs, which were exposed. Zel could see a huge domed shell on his back, where two metallic, vaguely-Oriental wings were placed.

The turtle was wearing a gi of some kind, orange top with red pants, held in place by a simple purple sash. He looked utterly and completely unaffected by anything and, as Zel pushed himself up for a much better look, was holding one hand in the other, upturned, in front of his belly, patiently waiting. 

"My apologies. We...were not expecting a visitor. Had he known, my master would have had me prepare a more suitable arrival area," the turtle intoned, padding over slowly and surely. Zelampago noticed that his arm was glowing. He'd brought it up to clear his tears and his vision, but hadn't noticed the pale daffodil-colored sheen emanating off of it.

"W-who are you? What did you do to me?"

The turtle implacably helped Zelampago to rest upright, back against the wall, and had started to rub his hand-flippers back and forth over Zel's maimed arm. "I am Kapshukke, seneschal to the lord of Scum of the Earth. I have projected my own defenses upon you such that your suffering here need not continue."

"Seneschal?"

"Yes," drawled the monk as he began to work his way back up to Zel's shoulders, droning on. "One who interprets their master's will and speaks for them." The turtle stopped and leveled his clear gold eyes at Zel. He had no irises or pupils. But he still saw fine...

"And it is good that he does not speak to you. It would likely flay you where you stood."

Zelampago turned his head, wincing as stiffness was methodically rubbed out of it. "You mean, th...the thing on the mountain?"

Kapshukke nodded slowly then pushed Zel forward, taking one wing and caressing it, slowly healing it as he continued. "Yes. The only Hellguardian on this level." 

Zel peered at the slow turtle, lips cracked, mouth suddenly very dry as he asked, "What's his name?"

"Simple, young one. His name is Rache. He *is* the very definition...of Wrath." The wing he was now finished with flopped almost bonelessly to the ground, the turtle ambling around to start on the other. "My lord is very powerful and very good at what he does."

Those eyes speared Zelampago as he stared transfixed at Kapshukke.

"I believe you know that."

"Y-yes..."

Zel stared down at the ground as Kapshukke mended and massaged his other wing. He had to admit, this was jarring. A stark cognitive dissonance that, in this place, here could be a creature capable of such healing techniques. And willing to apply them.

The turtle knelt beside him and once again, pushed Zelampago to laying back as he worked on the wolfdemon's chest. "At any rate, you are here for a reason. Explain."

Zel stared up at the grim colorless sky. "I...am searching for something, an exit or the like." He suddenly realized he had no idea where the Ocularis Magnifectus had gone. Nor Ziggy.

"Intriguing. Strange that one would think this level would have an exit so easily walked through."

"W-well, yes," Zel muttered, even as the turtle raised one of his legs and settled it on his shoulder, working his strong flipper-hands over the muscles in his thigh. "But it isn't a normal exit. I'm...I'm tracking the leyline path of the Giving Force."

The hands on his thigh paused. Zel looked down and found Kapshukke staring directly back. "Most intriguing. What reason would you have to undertake this quest?"

"It's a long story," the wolf replied.

"I am patient and you are not moving anywhere for a while. It will help us pass the time. Come. Tell me."

So Zel related to the turtle monk about the past few days, telling him of the glitches and troubles in the Naughty level, of being gifted the Ocularis from Barnabus Rochamsawkem, one of the Thirteen. He told him of passing through Jerks and his epiphany of the downward spiral path that the leyline created. And of the decision to come here.

"Hmm. So you think that the leyline would exit this place?"

"It's my belief, yes, but I'm kind of screwed now. My GDA, Ziggy, smashed off my hip and went fuck-knows-where, I've lost the Ocularis too, and even BEING here is taxing to my heart and soul."

The turtle had passed the time while Zel was telling his story by fixing and mending the Hellguardian's clothing. His touch was profound, able to easily mend and restore what his master demolished. Zel was nearly back to his full strength, the pale golden shield still covering his form.

Kapshukke stood and pulled out one of the flaps of his gi, rummaging around inside it before pulling out a very shattered looking GDA and the Ocularis. "I believe these are yours, then. I found them earlier on the way here."

Zel took the GDA and held it, his heart breaking slightly. The screen was a total loss, the casing looked like someone had shot a bazooka at it, and the integral wiring inside was ruined. "Yeah...its mine..."

"May I?" The turtle held his hand out. Zel wordlessly passed it to him, mourning his AI-companion's destruction. 

The monk tipped his head back and closed his large eyes, gently rubbing his hand in a circle on the broken little assistant. He chanted, an ancient-sounding dirge. As Zel sat, transfixed, he could hear the turtle droning in multiple voices; two, no...three...five...*eight* different voices resonated out of his long wrinkled neck. The GDA glowed, brilliant and bright, and before his eyes, began to reverse its damage. The wiring slithered back into place even as the dents and dings on the back paneling popped out. The glass audibly crackled back together and fused itself. 

*p-ping!*

The screen glowed and thrummed to life.

"Zelampago? Are you there? Please respond!"

Zelampago let out a small gasp of relief as the monk stopped his chant, offering the GDA back to the young Hellguardian.

"Yeah, I'm here, Ziggy. Damn, it's good to see you."

"Agreement. I...think I was broken somehow, but I am not sure."

"Yes, well...I think Kapshukke here helped with that," the wolf replied back, looking up at the monk, once again standing with his palms folded in front of his long belly. "Thank you."

The monk inclined his head forward in response before turning and walking to the edge of the cliff they were on, peering around the corner towards the center of the crater.

An ominous rumble shuddered its way up the butte, low and long. Zelampago stuffed the Ocularis back on top of his hair, standing up even as he backed against the cliffside. "What was that?" he asked, stretching slowly.

The monk didn't respond, simply staring off at the mountain in the far distance. Zelampago realized that the turtle appeared to be listening to something, nodding and muttering low.

"Mmyes...it will be difficult. I believe his intentions."

More rumbling and grumbling from the ground and the cliff. 

"Very well, I shall discuss the matter with the boy."

Kapshukke turned and regarded the now standing Hellguardian, looking up at him, his short stature barely letting him stare at Zelampago's belly.

"The master says that you may pass through. He has no intention of barring your path nor of stopping you if you wish to exit this level, either going back *or* forwards."

Zel nodded. Well, that was a minor relief, anyhow.

"However. Should you wish to continue, you will be tested." Kapshukke turned and regarded Ziggy. "May I see that again?"

Zel nodded, curious, as he handed over Ziggy to the monk. Kapshukke placed his palm on the screen and stared down at it. "Can you see what I am thinking, device?"

"Yes. I will upload it from your memory and display it as you intend."

"Very well," the turtle said. Ziggy hummed and within seconds, *p-ping'd!* again. Soon after, a holographic display of the level appeared between him and the monk. Kapshukke handed the GDA back and began his explanation.

"As this map states, this," he said, pointing to the center, "is where my master resides." Zelampago shuddered, remembering all too well. He did note, however, his initial guess of the area being a crater was correct. The scale on the side of the map seemed to indicate that it was well over a thousand miles in radius.

"And here, is where you and I are." The turtle indicated a spot less than halfway out from the center point. "To be able to continue, you will need to pass through the Judicium Gateway." An image appeared: an open doorway made of stone. Nothing sat in it, just an open, empty archway. The turtle pulled the map into a zoom. Zelampago shivered again as the mountain increased in size and scale. He was thankful it was completely blackened somehow.

He really didn't need to see that again.

"The Gateway will allow you to pass through to where the Giving Force is held. Satan, in his wisdom, agreed to let my master guard it, stating it would be the ultimate insult to those detained here. So much giving love on the other side of a doorway they could never pass through." The turtle pointed.

"Here."

The gateway was at the very base of the mountain.

"Great. So I need to go back there. Will you guide me?"

"No. My master cannot allow this. His methods and his reasonings are his own and I do not question, I simply follow his orders and instructions." Kapshukke gazed back up at Zelampago. The wolf sighed and nodded. He looked out, across the way.

Another butte was within distance of his vision. Zelampago could see small figures placed on the front side of it. They appeared to be fused into the very rock itself. In fact, to his horror, they could not look away, their mouths hung open in a rictus of unimaginable terror. He shuddered and looked back towards Kapshukke.

"So...what should I do then?"

"My master has said that you must be tested should you desire to go forward. He did say he would ease the task, but only just." The turtle gazed back towards the center of the crater. "He will reduce the full weight of his influence to a ten mile radius around the gate."

"Well, that's a relief."

"For fifteen seconds."

Zel stared at the turtle, dumbfounded. "Wait, so you want me to cross ten miles in fifteen seconds."

"With your eyes closed."

"WHAT!? WHY!?"

The turtle serenely looked up at him. "Because you and I both know the second you look at my master in full, your mind will rebel and your body will panic. You will fly out of control as you have just recently."

Zel swore. "Fuck. FUCK! Ziggy, how fast would I need to be going to do this?"

"Calculating. To cross 10 miles in 15 seconds, you need to be traveling at just over 2400 miles per hour or Mach 3.16," the armadillo AI looked up at him, an apprehensive look on his face. "Flying blind...of course..."

Zelampago stared down at the ground, hands clenched at his side. "And you and Rache think I can do this? Just fly that fucking fast?"

"Of course not. That would normally be impossible."

"Well of course it wo-"

"Which is why I am allowed to give you a boon to make it possible."

Zel stopped mid-rant and stared back down, struck dumb. "What boon?"

The turtle walked around Zelampago and tugged at his belt, pulling the wolfdemon down to kneeling. Zel peered over his shoulder as the turtle reached behind himself and seemed to pull...caps of some sort off of his shining golden metal wings. He placed both caps on Zelampago's wings and stood back. As Zel watched, awestruck, the caps seemed to melt and glide down the length of his wings, turning the top halves of each gold. 

"This will allow you to fly as I do." The turtle stood there as Zelampago stood, flaring his wings and feeling a tremendous surge of energy within them. They felt ready to pull him clean off the ground at a moment's notice, gravity be damned.

"So, I get up to speed and once I hit the area his influence is reduced to, I fly blind at over Mach 3 to hit a target the size of a door. That about it?"

"Mmyes. We never said it would be easy."

"No, of course you didn't. And also of course, neither of you will just let me pass unmolested, will you?"

The turtle smiled for the first time and stared at the mountain in the distance. Zel was about to reply when the loudest voice he'd ever heard echoed across the crater.

*AMUSE ME*

Zelampago staggered and dropped to his knees. That voice...it was...it cut into him. It felt like he'd been forced to swallow razor blades, like someone had shoved spiked screwdrivers into his ears and set them to pureeing his brains. He looked up at Kapshukke, who stood there looking down at the wolf even as Zel wiped a trickle of blood from his lips. "How can you stand that!?"

The turtle gazed off into the distance, face unreadable. "Practice," he said, softly and simply.

Zel shook his head and got back on his feet again. He put the Ocularis back down and thumbed the pad. "Find the Judicium Gateway. Block sight of all other things aside from obstacles." The glasses, undamaged from their tumble off of his head, *shkshkshkshk'd!*. He found his vision blanked, blackness all around him except for a vague green outline of the cliff. Looking to the left, he saw a small shining dot: The Gateway, itself the leyline waypoint. Kapshukke, outlined in gold, came forward and clasped Zelampago's hands. 

"Once you enter that zone, my shield will no longer protect you. You will have to fly on your own. You will not be taking my boon with you." The monk patted his hands. "While my master need not explain, I believe it is his wish to test you, to see if your willpower is great enough to overcome terror and despair. Though," the monk said with a smile on his face, "I may be just guessing at that point. He may just wish to see something new. 

"May the winds be at your back, Zelampago. Good luck." With that, the turtle stepped backwards, off the ledge. His wings took on a sheen and he simply rose upwards, watching the wolf.

Zelampago stood there, staring through the butte at the far point in the distance. He'd need to be accurate. Once inside that zone, he'd HAVE to close his eyes, Ocularis or not. His body would KNOW that the lord of the mountain would be staring at him. But if he didn't look...he might make it.

"Ziggy, show me the picture of Crystal, would you?"

"Compliance."

He gazed down as an image of Crystal appeared, in repose upon their shared bed. She was nude and smiling at him, having drawn a heart in the goo on her belly. "Would you care for me to play the associated video, Zelampago?"

"No. Not yet. I may...may need it after."

"Compliance. Be safe, Zelampago. Please." The armadillo clasped his long fingernails together in concern and vanished. Zel put it back in its holster and buttoned it shut, remembering to fasten it this time.

Time to show them what I'm made of.

He ran forward and dived off the mountain, coming back up quickly. He'd not needed to even flap, his wings seemed to be projecting the speed and thrust all on their own! He hovered there in midair, breathing steadily before shooting upwards, skyrocketing up, up, up. He reached the cloud ceiling in a few seconds, willed himself to stop the thrust and hung there for a long moment.

Fast.

As gravity took hold again, he wheeled, turned, and willed himself to fly. A thundering detonation followed him as he dove, arcing back up, skimming along the ground. As he flew, his speed increased, higher and higher. The Ocularis was measuring his airspeed, showing 1100 MPH and rising, 300 miles and counting. 

He stared forward at that light, willing himself to ignore the thing above it. 

Faster.

The ground blurred beneath him. As he passed another butte, a second explosion rocked it directly after the first, destroying the base of it and sending it toppling forward to the ground. Zel was unaware of this. In his view, the wind whipping past his back-turned ears was all he could hear.

1600 MPH, 200 miles...1900, 175....2100, 80...

Close now, the mountain rising into view, cutting off his vision of the creature he knew deep in his soul would be turning now to look at the blue streak hurtling towards it like a missile. 

C'mon...faster...FASTER...GO...

He saw his speed crest over 2300 MPH, felt himself slip through the third sound barrier, saw the speed inching towards 2400...and the distance closing to 20 miles, ratcheting down quickly. 

Zelampago fixed his eyes on the now easily visible waypoint, shining like the door it was, inviting him, taunting him. He felt the world fall away. 

11 miles.

10.5.

10.

GO!

He slammed his eyes shut, turned his head down, and punched into the influence of Rache, lord of the realm. His body immediately began screaming, every muscle wracked and shocked by the sheer malice emanating from the mountain top.

He screamed too, a long growling bellow.

He couldn't stop. Wouldn't stop. He could feel that beam of malevolent light upon him. He could feel his skin beginning to burn again.

He would beat this. He would pass through and stop what was happening to the Giving Force. He would fix it. He WOULD. 

He thought of Crystal as he pushed his arms forward and screamed out a cry of determined rage and will.

I. Will. Not. Stop!

"RRRAAAGGGHHH!!!"

Zelampago Solaricanius shot through the gateway, followed a split-second later by an earth-shattering trio of sonic booms.

*^*ChpatpTrrr F15te33333n#**
End of Line

Zelampago passed through the white light in the blink of an eye and was momentarily taken aback by the forces upon his body as gravity altered under him. He rocketed out of control for a moment before trying to flare his wings, killing his speed. 

Unfortunately, as any fighter jet pilot would tell you, doing this at Mach 3 is a very bad idea.

The wolfdemon lost control of his flight and tumbled, slamming against the ground again, tumbling and finally skidding on his side to a halt, digging a mile and a half long trench with his body.

He felt no pain.

No pain!

NO PAIN! He'd made it through!

He pulled the glasses from his head and turned over, on hands and knees and howled, the last few moments of frustration venting from his body like so much vapor. His wounds from spending 15 seconds in the corrosive presence of Rache had healed upon his arrival. He pounded at the ground, feeling vindicated, having passed through the darkest level of Hell to come out on the other side. He felt the triumphant tears of joy well at the corners of his eyes as he stared down at the soft grey dirt beneath his fingers.

He panted, gasping for air, shuddering long gulps as his terror and self-despair left him. His breathing slowed...slowed...became normal again. He breathed through his nose...and looked up.

Where was he?

He found himself staring at a very strange horizon, as if the earth he stood upon were a very small satellite only a few miles wide at best. The ground was loose, granular, like moon dust. There were no hills or mountains or anything. 

Out past that, Zelampago stared into the Reach of Hell. An inky blackness, punctuated with small worlds. He knew of these worlds, each offering a small variation on the Naughty level, weird little dollops of psychoreactive flesh. Residents on those worlds enjoyed it, half in part due to the nature of the realm matching their own and half due to their making it into a place they enjoy. Little frontiers of strangeness out here in the expanses of existence.

To his left and just above the horizon, a sickly green planet that seemed to be oozing garbage. Above that, to the right, a pure blue planet made of water only. Further away, another planet that seemed to be made of electricity or something of the like, mechanical towers jutting out of it at odd angles. 

All different, yet the same in their purpose. All magnets for those whose souls pulsed with a similar rhythm.

They were very far away, though. Zel had needed to focus his vision tightly to even discern their shape. Before long, he realized a very important fact. His shadow was stretching out before him, seemingly into the horizon itself.

Zelampago swallowed once and turned.

Now before him stood a truly awesome sight: it was like a sun, but not. It was bright, but not painfully so. It glowed a burning plasma blue and seemed to stretch to infinity before him. The Ocularis shuffled through its filters on its own and let him behold it as it was.

The Giving Force itself. Massive and unreal. So enormous one planet would not be able to hold it. So incredibly and unimaginably filled with the compassion and concern for others that even looking at it filled his heart with an inexpressible peace. The pain of Scum of the Earth melted away, even as the gilding upon his wings finally dissolved. He forgot the form of the only true lord there. Forgot the landscape. Forgot everything aside from the vague notion that there was a being in an orange outfit who was implacable and imperturbable. Even if for a few moments, he let it go.

He fell to his knees and just looked at it, feeling the last few shadows fall away from his previously tortured heart. 

His hand fell to his side, brushing against Ziggy. The GDA whirred to life and began the playback of its previously queued up video.

It was the Harvest Festival held at Perdition Elementary last year, dedicated to the Earthly traditions of celebrating fine crops and plenty for all, while still allowing plenty of time for Halloween and Thanksgiving to be enjoyed. The video showed (from his point of view) Crystal, who had brought him along; he'd dressed up to the nines in a full tuxedo, cane, and top hat (even spats for his feet). She was in a different dress, a fine blue satin ballgown which set her normal light blue skin off.

She was cheerful and happy as she introduced him to her classmates and teacher before pulling him by the hand out to the playground out back. Table after table was lined with food piled high, smelling delicious and savory. 

She was leading him now over to the rest of her friends; Bartleby, Lexi, Xander, a few she didn't know very well, and even a few he did. Ainsley was there, looking for all the world like a Scottish Belle in a clover-leaf green dress. 

He saw Razielphustar, his top hat finally matched by a tuxedo as well. Saw the squirrel leading someone by the crook of his arm.

A simple white dress covering her modest form, the beautiful woman walked with an unearthly grace, her cheetah spots rising up her legs and arms and over her face. Llywyalla, the angel, cursed by God to never tell the truth again.

Crystal charmed her instantly. Zel talked to her and kissed her hand. She had taken a shine to him.

The video continued as the great dance got underway. Fast tunes for the kids to squeal and bop around to, slower ballads for the adults to waltz and two-step in time with, close to one another.

He'd danced with Ainsley. She had kissed his cheek and called him a Double-0 Dearheart.

He'd danced with Mrs. Oakley. She had tried to frisk his bits, but he couldn't help but laugh at it, even as her husband tried the same on Ainsley.

He danced with Crystal, holding her in his arms and kissing her gently and with utmost care.

He'd danced with Llywyalla and had heard her tale. Had promised her he would do anything he could to help. He'd felt himself unable to do anything but. She had kissed him on the lips and told him that, "you aren't a wonderful man." 

The video then cut to much later. He could see his naked form laying in bed with the gel-vixen sprawled upon him. They had finished their after-event unfing and were recovering. She had leaned back and poked a finger into her belly, drawing out a heart.

"I love you, wuffy. Always an' forever."

Zelampago knelt there in the dust as the video shut down, his heart at peace for the first time in days.

***

Eventually, he rose to his feet and looked around. Nothing. Nothing on this little ball of dirt to indicate what he should do next. He turned the Ocularis back onto tracking the leyline and sure enough, there it was. His little landing trench had arced away from it as he had shot through, but it was there, leading off not towards the huge planetoid energy ball, but just over the edge of the horizon.

Now what is this about?

He opted to jog, letting his wings have a break from all of the work they had been doing for him the past few days. He covered the ground quickly and idly noted that the galaxy of planets around him was traveling fast. Apparently, his estimation of the size of the dirt ball he was running across was dead on.

Within a minute or two of running, Zel stopped jogging and slowed to a walk.

Something had come into view just then: an entrance of sorts, rising up and out of the ground. Next to it was a large satellite dish, its rim lined with glowing crimson runes unreadable by the wolfdemon. Both the leyline and the huge orb itself were funneling into that satellite dish. His vision of where the energy went from there was limited as it traveled down the dish and out of sight, unreadable even to the Ocularis.

Zelampago approached the door. It was simple, a doorway like that of a bomb shelter, raised out of the ground but with a simple brass knob.

Yeah, like there'll be tornados around here this time of year.

He stood and stared down at it briefly before leaning over and pulling on it, twisting the knob. It opened easily. Zelampago looked at the hinges and found they'd been recently greased.

Without looking back, he stepped down into the darkened stairwell and let the door shut softly behind him.

He'd only just reached the bottom of the stairs when lights started flickering on with a tinny hum of electricity. Recessed fluorescent tube bulbs powered on, one after another, down an incredibly long hallway. When the last had activated, the air went still. The white walls of the hallway were unmarked, though the floor underneath was black-and-white checkerboard tile.

The silence became perfect. No sounds but for his breathing.

"Okay...so...okay." The wolfdemon set his shoulders back and stepped down the hallway.

*BRRRZZZZZZZZ!*

Zel shouted as a huge buzzsaw came screaming out of the wall, seamlessly going back in as it missed him by a hairsbreadth. He stumbled back, grasping at his side, checking for injury.

He looked up and his face grew fierce.

So. It's like *that*, is it?

Someone had lined this hallway with booby-traps. If the buzzsaw, now disappeared into the wall, were any indication, they'd be violent. Whoever or whatever was at the end of this hall, someone didn't want anyone coming through it.

Well that's fine. I've had enough of the searching and the questions and the endless not-knowing-shit. I'm going to get in that room and find whoever's mucking about with the Giving Force...and I'm going to make them sorry.

He reached inside his vest and felt his hand grasp a long handle. Pulling down and away, Zelampago withdrew his own favored weapon: a long two-handed broadsword, straight and true, made of magickally-enhanced ores from the Hellguardians' armory. He'd customized it, improving the guard to come down over one side of the handle, the blade following it down and past. A long, brutal edge, heavy and deadly, decorated by one long glowing line of power.

He'd christened it Blitzrend.

Hefting the sword, he set the Ocularis back down on his face, having raised it upon entering the hallway. "Estimate trap locations."

Targets started pinging down the hallway as his vision went red from the filter.

That was fine by him.

He let out a roar and charged. The buzzsaw came flying out. He cleaved it from the wall with one swing and kept moving. A set of spiked poles shot out from the floor; Zel deftly dodged, keeping his focus, and sheared them away with great swings of his sword. A laser grid appeared. Zelampago threw his sword through it, the lasers reflecting off of its polished and shining edge, destroying themselves with their own reflection.

Zel kept moving.

On and on, down the hallway he moved, triggering and crushing the traps with brutal efficiency. His mouth was set in a vicious grimace, his canine teeth showing as he grunted and growled and roared like a force of nature, unrelenting.

Eventually, a gigantic Howitzer cannon raised itself into view right in front of the door, ratcheting into place and extending a ten-foot long barrel. It discharged its round directly at Zelampago with a thundering *BOOM*. The wolfdemon brought his sword up and let the shell cleave itself along the edge, both halves whistling past his ears as he rushed in and struck, following through as he sliced the cannon from its mount. The half-rounds clattered down the hallway behind him before weakly exploding.

He panted, ragged and growling, arms and fists shaking as he stared at the door now in front of him. There were no more traps. The hallway lay in ruins behind him. 

No more searching. No more wondering. No more.

Now he would end this and stop whatever was going on.

The door, a massive double-iron gate, stood implacably before him. Zelampago thumbed his specs to life again. "Show me who's behind this door."

His vision turned orange. He looked through the gate.

All he could see was one figure. Slim-looking, oddly shaped, standing alone inside. No, not standing, but...weirdly positioned.

He considered holstering his weapon, then decided to keep it ready. 

"Here we go. Let's finish this."

The blue Hellguardian leaned back and thrust-kicked at the entrance, sending the double doors slamming open against the inside walls. He bounded in, his cry of rage and determination dying upon his lips as the dust settled from his overly-dynamic entry.

There, a beam of light shining down around her, was Llywyalla, strapped to a gurney. She looked at him, her face full of pity and sadness at the newcomer into this unknown chamber.

"Oh...oh Zelampago...I'm not sorry...I'm so not sorry."

He'd barely had time to even wonder what in the name of Hell was going on before someone behind him delivered a knife-hand strike to his wrist. His grip broke and the large broadsword clattered noisily to the floor. The wolfdemon turned, but only saw an incoming red-furred fist. 

*POW!*

He took the blow full in the face. It lifted him clean off his feet and sent him spiraling backwards into the chamber. As he slid to a stop, his head reeling and his vision fading, he saw who had punched him.

Standing over him, one fist surrounded with a Hell-magic aura, was Razielphustar. 

Standing behind him...

The Devil himself. Both were staring at him. Both looked extremely angry.

For the third and last time since he'd begun his journey, Zelampago Solaricanius lost consciousness and crumpled to the floor.

*
*
**
**
*p-p-p-p-ping-ing!*

*##FiLe -Pdat3*$*
SuBjcttCT: Jnnt Pril ---ethch
AS$siGggnED HellHHellGggurrdian: ZLAMPaGO S00lARicns
SsstsStats: En Residentia temporallllll
Hrtsoulhrt: Leeving Hrt nOT yut attaaened
tEIm 0ntil total Soul Failure:
t- 0:0:02:07:34 (Y:D:H:M:S)

#%$$##%$$AAarrccc Thr333 ENDNDND***