THE CHRONICLES OF THE FINALGAMER
Midline Shift

"All explorers are seeking something they have lost.  It is seldom that they find it, and more seldom still that the attainment brings them greater happiness than the quest."
Arthur C Clarke

A cold metallic floor was something he was never sure about feeling upon first waking up.  On the one hand, it meant he could be in prison for some reason.  On the other hand, most prisons had stone floors instead of metal as far as he remembered.  And from the look of the sleek smooth cobalt blue, he imagined that he was somewhere more advanced.  Looking up he was somewhat disappointed, and also confused at the tiny room.  A large elevator door, transparent like a screen door with another steel door underneath it, unmoving while the rest of the lift slowly rose upwards.  Slow enough that James did not even realise it was moving.
He slowly got up onto his feet, trying to stand against the lift wall until his back protested, his bandaged wounds suddenly reminded as he looked down at himself.  The wall was curved in its aesthetic, with a single green rectangle glowing upon the left wall beside him.  He had to admit it was the first time he had ever been teleported onto a moving platform.  The last time he woke up anywhere while moving was the back of a taxi cab in Crossville, and even then that was because the driver found him in mud on the side the road.
	"Man that was weird," said James to himself, "when was the last time I even got in a cab?  I mean, a train I was in, back like a year ago but...where the hell am I, I feel like I'm back in that F-Zero place again.  ...aw...aw man, I hope Gunther's not upset still about me leaving.  ...how long IS this elevator ride fuck's sake, how long was I out here?!"
As if answering him, the door soon opened in front of him, giving him his first view of the new world, and the inhabitants within.
A marvellous window the length of the entire hall, with ships flying past of various designs through an eternal ocean of stars that stretched like a panorama.  Strange lights glinted across huge sword-like formations from outside, lancing around one central ring towards an eternal bright star.  As he walked into the grand area, the words of a dozen languages from a thousand tongues began chattering in his ear, his translator furiously trying to work out all of them but failing to do so.

It fought against a torrential stream of noise, uselessly as he began suffering a growing headache.  Unable to mute them, or decipher them.  He tried to stumble away to somewhere quieter, a few heads turning towards him with little concern.  The voices continued, from ululating chitters to standard English.  He saw humans amongst them, but also other alien creatures.  Thin lanky beings with big black eyes and heads shaped like a U, lean rock-faced denizens with facepaint and rigid mouth flaps, dwarfed metal suits waddling to and fro alongside strange blue-skinned humans with an ethereal glow and hair of blue closed lengths.
Eventually he became confused and had to sit down again, feeling his translator start to tax itself as the headache began to build more and more.  He huddled himself into a corner, murmuring to try and make the headache go away as he became overwhelmed by the noise.  He could find no place to hide from it, everywhere he looked he heard more languages, more dialects and more creatures to utter them with.  He sat and tried to cover his ears, the headache now impossible to deal with to the point of blurring his vision.
He felt someone approach him after what felt like 20 minutes later, one of the mouth-flapped aliens in a blue suit of futuristic armour.  To James it resembled some sort of cricket-faced creature with the flattest nose he had ever seen, like some sort of island mosaic.  Its face was two-toned with pale beige cheeks and forehead, while the nostrils, mouth and chin were coloured a chalk-white.  The creature asked him something in a rather garbled-sounding language with an authoritative tone, the raptor looking rather out of it as he tried to look up at it, his eyes gone hazy from the dulling pain.
	"Wha...what?"
A similar series of sounds came from it, but still nothing came to his ears other than babble.
	"I...I'm sorry I can't understand you...my head is-nnngh!"
The creature made a tap to where its ear would be, to no effect from the raptor who mimicked it.
	"Yeah I can hear you, I just don't know what you're saying!  My head hurts okay, I can't-just-ARGH!  DAMMIT MY HEAD!"
This made the alien back up slightly expecting trouble, the raptor seeing this to be a bad thing and trying to look as helpless and submissive as possible, clutching his head in both hands while looking wounded all the more with bandaged body.
	"JUST...AARGH!  L-listen, if you understand me at all, can you take me to somewhere quiet?!  S-s-somewhere I can think, I just need someplace without any noise, please...I can't even fucking see straight with all this damn noise all around me."
The creature sighed and made its arm light up in a flash of thick orange lines.  The lines glowed like a holographic gauntlet, conjoining into a circle over the hand as the creature swayed it over the raptor carefully.  It appeared to be some sort of scanner as eventually the readings came up much to its surprise, the mouth flaps pushing away from its lips in a single breath.  It motioned the raptor to follow it.
	"You...you want me to follow you?  ...a-alright then.  Can you...take my hand please?  I can't...I can't see straight, and my head hurts really badly."

A nod from the alien confirmed this as he got up gently before offering a hand weakly, taken within the creature's own hand which surprisingly had three fingers just like James did.  He walked alongside the large splendid window that caught his attention, vapidly so before he was pulled gently into a small office.  Soon as the doors closed, the noise became muted in the background as he sighed with utter relief, laying his head against a steel-grey counter with a black top.
	"Aaaaaaah...thank you...god I thought my head was gonna explode from all that noise."
	"Ahhh, hello?"
A female human with brownish-red hair stood on the other side of the counter, her clothes white with red outlines as she spoke with a French accent.  The raptor looked to see the office around him as having studded walls resembling hardened cushions, as well as a clean off-white floor with an entire row of medical beds each in their own separate cubicle.  The pleasing sight of cherry blossom trees were in a window above them, spanning the length of the room as the alien behind James spoke to the woman, who replied in turn with:
	"Ah, officer, hello.  Who is this?"
The alien spoke again in its language, to which she reacted with intrigue.
	"Really?"
She turned to the newcomer.
	"Excuse me, but...can you understand me?"
	"Uhhh yeah," said James.  "Um, sorry for just barging in here, I was...having a real bad headache and this guy brought me here."
	"Oh dear, are you alright now?  ...goodness, you're hurt badly!"
	"Yeah no no just, just bandages I'm alright now.  I just...I needed to get away from the noise for a bit, it still hurts but I feel better now.  Um, hey, since you speak English and this guy can't, where exactly am I?"
	"You do not remember how you got here?"
	"Well...I can explain but only after I know where I am, is that okay?"
	"Of course.  You are in the Citadel, in the Widow Cluster of the Serpent Nebula."
Well I didn't understand any of that, thought FG, but I'm definitely in space again.
	"And uh...how far is that from Earth?"
	"Ohhh about a few relays, it's the next cluster over, why?"
	"...riiiight uhhhh, just curious."
	"So how did you get here?" she asked.  "Where are you from?"
	"Uhhh I'm from very far away."
	"Do you mind telling me where?"
	"Well...I dunno if you'd believe me."
	"Try me."
She brought up something like a blue virtual clipboard, which lit up as she tapped a few buttons with a wry smile upon her lips.
	"Okay then.  I'm from Earth."
	"I see...I do not remember seeing your species on Earth at all."
	"Well it's a big planet surely."
	"Which city?"
	"London originally, but I moved to Chicago."
	"Hmmm.  And your species?  ...I'm sorry it's just, I have never seen one like you before, you look...well pardon me for saying this but, you look like-"
	"A dinosaur?"
	"Yes!  Hhahaha, I am sorry but you must get that a lot."
	"Well, I am one, so..."

The statement made her blink, not quite understanding what he said as she softly tapped two more buttons, with the greatest reluctance.
	"You're...a dinosaur?"
	"Velociraptor to be precise."
	"And...your name?"
He could tell that she was now struggling to be professional.
	"James Robert Campbell."
	"Ah...I am Dr. Chloe Michel.  The officer who brought you here says you cannot understand him, correct?"
	"Well yeah, I'm new here and I don't know what he's saying."
	"Is your translator broken?"
	"My translator's fine, jus-...wait, wait, how do you know about my translator?!"
	"So you DO have one?"
	"Yeah but...how did you...I mean, wait, I do have a translator yeah but-"
	"Well it must be broken then, why didn't you say so before?!  Tell me, what were you experiencing when you had your headache?"
	"I...I was out there and, all these people were just talking and talking in like a thousand languages and I couldn't understand any of them, and my translator was like REALLY struggling to try and understand just one of them.  So it felt like I was overloaded and I couldn't...just...think to myself before it kept getting worse, you know?"
	"I see.  I'll have to repair it for you then, is that okay?"
	"Uhhhh..."
	"It is mandatory that you have a working translator while on the Citadel, it makes everything so much easier talking to everyone after all.  You don't want to go walking out of here nursing another headache now do you?"
	"Well when you put it like that, sure but-"
	"Excellent, please lie down on the ta-"
The officer noted something as she nodded in understanding.
	"Um, could you also remove your weapon please?"
	"Huh?  Why?"
	"Well firstly I will be examining you, secondly my officer friend here notes that you have a large bladed weapon."
	"Uh...yyyyeah it is."
	"Then, could you please remove it?  I am sorry to say that he will have to confiscate it."
	"Woah woah woah woah, confiscate?!  Listen, um, that's not a good idea."
	"Why not?"
	"Because...because...it...is an ancestral...weapon of my family."
	"...really?"
	"Yeah.  And, it's...KIND OF really special, like, nobody else should touch it but me or anyone of my family.  Because, if anyone does, that means the blade gets tainted and it-oh god there is like a shit ton of rituals that you have to deal with before we can even get that kind of insult off, I mean it is SUPER-problematic and we don't want any of that."
Oh god this is gonna end badly, thought FG, if any of them touch it who knows what might happen.  I don't wanna be responsible for any killing in the first five fucking minutes of arriving on this place.  Wait...if they have to confiscate it...and maybe...waaaaaaaait what if...maybe this might work out for me.  Maybe I can get rid of this thing once and for all in the safest way possible.
	"So what you are saying," began Dr. Michel, "is that no one else but you is allowed to touch your weapon?"
	"That's right."
	"Meaning that you and only you can remove it from your person."
	"Thaaaat's right."
	"But this officer here will have to confiscate it somehow.  Unless you have a licence or permit of some sort to carry it."
	"I...don't have one, no."
	"So what do we do?"
	"Um...dammit...um...okay, maybe we can...I know you're not gonna let me leave with it, so...what if you like had a box or something, like maybe to contain it?  Because, if I'm the only one touching the blade itself, that means there's no problem!"
	"Hmmmm...what do you think officer?  Would that do?  Let him hand it to you within a containment unit of some sort, while not allowing anyone but him to touch it?"
The alien nodded with understanding, seeming to approve of the idea as Chloe said:
	"He says that is fine, so long as it is confiscated until approved for release at a later time."
	"Awesome, okay, that's fine with me then I'll just, put this over here then."
	"Excellent, now lie down on that table please."

After putting down his scissors with scabbard and everything, she guided James over to a table which he clambered onto and laid down upon.  Looking up at the fluorescent lights, he watched Dr. Michel scan him with the same sort of orange light from her hand that the alien had, who kept watching curiously while notifying somebody on a nearly-invisible headpiece, pressing two fingers to his ear.  The results of the scan surprised the doctor, saying:
	"Your back seems quite bloodied, are you sure you're alright?"
	"Yeah yeah just...bleeding out a bit, nothing major, just flesh wounds."
	"Well I'll have to fix that up regardless of what I find...hmmm?!  I, I-I've never seen a translator like this one.  And your body is...wait...it's filled with nanos!"
	"What's the problem?"
He knew why but he had to ask, though the answer completely surprised him.
	"Well, the translator's so much smaller, the technology is not only completely new to me but also clearly outdated in its capacity!  And so are the nanos, they're done well enough I admit but they're rather primitive!  The power is unrefined, and the neural implants while clearly professional are very unorthodox in their design.  Where did you get all of this?!"
	"I was...kidnapped by space pirates far away, they planted this translator thing in me so I could understand them while I was their prisoner.  The nanos I got before that."
	"Where was that?"
	"...theeee Lylat system?"
This was not entirely true but he did not want to explain everything.
	"Lylat system?  I've never heard of it."
	"You wouldn't, it's...well I can explain things a lot better but you're not gonna believe me."
	"Need I ask?"
She shrugged nonchalantly and the raptor sighed to himself.  Seeing as he was clearly in a very futuristic world, he felt more comfortable in saying a more centric truth.
	"Alright, I'll lay it on you.  I'm from another dimension.  I got lost and ended up here, and I'm trying to get back to my own home."
	"A-another...dimension!?  Surely not...what other dimension to be exact?"
	"I...don't know the name of it."
	"Do you perhaps know any-"
The alien then cut off her questioning as he became rather intrigued, ordering the doctor for something as she said:
	"Yes yes, but please let me just test him first."
	"Wait what did he say!?"
	"He...he's from Citadel Security and he wants to question you.  He was going to anyway but now he is more curious.  They're in charge of handling those coming and going from the Citadel."
	"Oh...well, I guess I can't say no, can I?"
	"Good.  Now first let me update the translator...and your nanos need to be upgraded, In fact I may need to update the whole system which will require you to be unconscious."
	"Wait what, why do I have to be unconscious?!"
	"Because it's going to hurt when I'm going to perform a small operation in the base of your neck.  I mean you COULD stay awake if you want but you will be moving and I don't like operating on necks or spines when they are moving."
	"How long...would I be out for?"
	"Only a few minutes," said Dr. Michel, "no more than twenty I assure you."
	"Well...you are a doctor, and you have a police officer here in case anything goes wrong so...I guess you can...do it but, why the nanos too?"
	"There are machines that operate by registering your nanos throughout the galaxy Mr. Campbell.  They will not register you if your nanos are out of date."
	"Ugh...god dammit...fine, what do you have to do exactly?"
	"All I have to do is send a wireless signal into your nanos' CPU, then download an upgrade to it by sending some separate nanos through your bloodstream, where they will reach it by tracking its signal.  I will have to sedate you in order to let your body relax and let the nanos do their work for this too."
	"Uh...o-okay but...be careful alright?"
	"I will, I promise."

She nodded and went over to a hi-tech cabinet off the side bringing out two syringes, one green and one blue.  Dabbing a part of James' left arm with some antiseptic, she injected the green syringe first into the vein, slowly making James go under with an easily administerable dosage.  While he was briefly unconscious, the blue syringe was put into him next.
The nanos from the outside oozed through his system, spreading through the veins almost like a virus.  Every one of FG's nanos they came into contact with were soon updated, changing them by their very coding, literally upgrading to something more accessible, but not better-performing in any way.
The doctor soon rolled James onto his front, as she injected a nullifying agent to dull pain receptors before opening up the translator lodged in his neck, near the spine itself.  With a surprising surgical precision that James barely felt the touch of, even while under the effects of medical sedation, she began tweaking and fusing tiny pieces of the old translator, adding a new processor while removing the old one, the slightest tingle coming up his spine to make James shudder very faintly.
She also undid his bandages before healing his scarred bleeding back with a medicinal salve, smoothing it over the body wounds as they began to work swiftly in sealing them.  The salve, once smoothened, began to grip tightly against the raptor's flesh healing it through some strange form of ultrasound projection, encouraging a much faster rate of recovery than even his nanos managed to.  By the time he woke up, he heard a male voice speak alongside Chloe herself, the male sounding weird with an odd treble in his voice.
	"-esting on this one I bet."
	"Yes he's a very strange individual, his translator was so primitive, he might as well have carved the Rosetta Stone into his skull!"
	"And what's...that exactly doctor?"
	"Well, it's-"
	"Nnnngh...s-someone else there?"
The alien turned towards James upon his awakening, a smile of satisfaction coming to his mouth flaps.
	"Ahh, you understand me now?" said the alien.
	"Uh yeah...loud and clear."
	"Ahhh success!" said Dr. Michel with triumph.  "How do you feel Mr. Campbell?"
	"Not...bad just...kinda sore in the neck."
	"That will go away soon, don't worry."
	"And my back is...hey, you fixed it up!"
	"Mmhmm, the wonders of science and medi-gel."
	"Wait, medi-gel?" asked James.
	"Hmhmhm, what ever doctor needs to make good soldiers.  ...that was something a friend of mine always said, but yes, medi-gel, it allows rapid healing through ultrasound projection and sealable properties."
	"...um...wow that...sounds awesome thank you.  Man it doesn't even hurt anymore."
	"I'm glad to hear!" said the doctor.
	"So uh, what improvements you make on this thing doc?"
	"Oh it was just simply a matter of realigning the cortical interface and upgrading the memory core to a more efficient one as well.  Because, really, the one you had was...not very good if I must say.  I mean, only one or two languages at most!?  That's just ridiculous!"

For the second time in a week James blinked dumbly, not understanding a single word of technobabble and hoping this would not be a regular thing.
	"Well I'm...glad I didn't have to pay for it?"
	"Hahaha, true.  This is more of a courtesy considering your current state.  But now you have the Galactic Translator installed, fully ready with the languages of all known races in this galaxy."
	"Uh huh...is that like some kind of standardised thing?"
	"Oh yes, all species in the galaxy have one, usually in either handheld PDAs, computers woven within clothing or jewelry, or sub-dermal implants like you do.  Machine translation is the easiest way to do things, though one can always take a language course in anything if they really want to make an impression on another race, it's usually rather broad-minded and practical to do so."
	"Right like any language.  And uh, what about any languages I don't know about?"
	"There is a Linguistic Codex Script Reader built into it, that will analyse any languages you hear with greater speed in translating than before."
	"Ahhh...I can still speak the language to them automatically right?"
	"What?"
	"Well the old translator I had did this thing where...what did Slippy say...god this is like years ago, it's kind of...feedback where the language I was hearing would be the language I would automatically speak in, but not realise it?  That make any sense to you?"
	"Ohhhhh...so THAT was what that strange little diode was for."
	"I...guess?  Wait, you didn't remove it did you?!?"
	"Oh no no no, I couldn't, it had lodged itself so deep into your spinal nerves and the Broca's area that if I tried to remove it, I would surely have hurt you badly.  So I left it alone.  That is amazing though, I must examine that more if you will allow me to."
	"Later doctor," said the alien officer, "right now I wanna bring Mr. Campbell in for some questions about his...inter-dimensional travels."
	"I see.  I hope you do return so I can examine you a little further, it is a very fascinating piece of technology you have inside you."
	"Heh thanks," said FG, "I uh, don't know how to reply to that but...well I'll try, see how it goes with this guy."
	"Very well.  Okay, I've done all I can for you so, officer?  He's all yours."
	"Thank you Dr. Michel," said the officer.  "I'm Officer Dahnus Drumarien, would you mind coming with me after we've dealt with your weapon containment?"
	"I got no choice right?" said the raptor.  "Thanks for the upgrade doctor, I'll uh see you soon I hope."
	"Goodbye."
With that, he was accompanied by the officer towards the Citadel Security offices, but not before some fellow human officers came to the med bay while bringing said containment unit with them, a large blue shielded box with cross-slatted frames.  Its design was meant to be airtight, to prevent rust or decay of anything inside which to James also meant nothing could get out.  He wasn't entirely sure if it would work or not, but he nevertheless relinquished his scissors to the confines of the police crate, gently placing it in before the officers closed it up tight.
	"Nothing can get in that box right?" asked James.  "I mean, nothing in or out at all?"
	"Not even radioactive exposure could break through this casing," said one human officer.  "Don't you worry, this thing'll be perfectly safe and secure."
	"Alright thanks...hope I get it back soon."
Or better yet, hope I don't, thought FG.

With his weapon now perfectly contained, he headed down a flight of stairs with Drumarien from the med bay and along a shining blue-grey corridor, into an elevator which ascended upwards just like the one he had woken up in.  Some news report chattered away in the background as the lift made its way up, the only indication of it moving being the lights of the shaft around them going down.  During the ride, which felt to James like an hour, he thought to ask the officer a few questions to familiarise himself with things.
	"Soooo since I can understand you now, what species are you?"
	"I'm a Turian."
	"Cool.  How long you been working here?"
	"Ten years.  I will be asking a few questions on your origins and such.  I'm also obliged to give you a lie detector test."
	"What, you think I'd lie about all that stuff back there?"
	"Merely protocol, a lot of suspicious people pass through here, we have to take a lot of precautions, particularly of late."
	"Why, did something happen?"
	"You didn't hear about the Geth attack on the Citadel?"
	"Nope.  I don't even know who these Geth are.  What, they fanatics or something?"
	"Well...you're not entirely off."
The elevator doors opened into a small half-circle area along a short corridor that forked into two darker blue halls.  Police blue as one would call it.  Two elevators were in glass cases facing each other across the central hall, with offices left and right as he was taken along one corridor after passing a full-body security scanner, with both body and satchel cleared of all suspicious items.
A row of enclosed rooms laid further on, all of them without any doors before finally entering one.  A desk and two chairs on either side were in it, as well as a vid screen that showed reports on missing people or incidents, the whole place reflecting sterile white.  Dahnus sat behind the desk, having only a rather fancy computer on it which glowed orange transparently upon its screen, set within a steel frame with an intricate-looking touch screen interface.
	"Now, Mr Campbell, please put this on."
Offered a small crescent piece of plastic to attach to his head like a headset, James wore it as Officer Drumarien made a few motions on his computer, checking all was ready for the interview.
	"Okay, we're ready.  I'm going to be...interrogating you essentially, just for the sake of security records."
	"Okay, fair enough."
	"We do this to everyone who comes through the Citadel, but those like you, the more special exceptions, we have to interrogate just to be safe.  I am also obliged to inform you that we have a polygraph scanning you, so please try to be truthful."
	"A what now?"
	"Lie detector."
	"...oh.  Well uh, okay, no pressure I guess, go right ahead.  Ask away."
	"Good."

Another few buttons were pressed as he spoke more formally into his computer.
	"C-Sec log M4-530215, officer Dahnus Drumarien reporting.  Interview begins at...16:28 Citadel Time.  Please state your full name, species and occupation."
	"My name is James Robert Campbell.  I'm a velociraptor and I...was formerly a bartender."
	"And where were you born exactly?"
	"I was born in London, in the United Kingdom of Great Britain, on Earth."
	"Date of birth?"
	"September 9th, 3490 A.D"
	"...aaand how old are you?"
	"Thirty."
	"...ahhh huh.  Tell me, what year do you think this is?"
	"I...I have no idea."
	"Well, just to tell you, this is the year 2183."
	"...wait seriously?!"
	"Mmhmm."
	"...shit...well, I definitely know I'm not home then."
James rubbed his forehead and leaned to one side, feeling the wind had been taken out of his sails.  He was already feeling rather out of sorts in being interrogated so soon after arrival, as Dahnus continued with questioning him.
	"Do you have a place of residence, Mr. Campbell?"
	"Yeah it's uhh...heh...the Two By Two Bar, Canaryville, Chicago, back on Earth."
	"Can you explain how you got here?"
	"Well...you really wanna know, all of it?"
	"It's why I brought you here so, please explain."
A long sigh came from FG, as he built up the courage to begin his life story once again.  This time however he wanted to be as concise as possible, feeling the lie detector's gaze upon him from wherever it was in the room.  Possibly the headset.
	"Alright.  I was in Chicago, back about eight years ago, working at a bar when I got kidnapped by this para-military group who wanted to experiment on me.  Not fully military they just wanted to like sell weapons and shit to the army, because they wanted to be the army themselves.  They did stuff to me and put these nanos in me that Dr. Michel told you about."
	"For the benefit of the recording, Mr. Campbell was examined by Dr. Chloe Michel before interrogation.  Please, go on."
	"Well...I ran away.  Ran as far as I could until I...teleported.  Just thought of being somewhere else really far away and ended up on another planet altogether.  I know that sounds...stupid but that's how it happened."
	"Teleporting?  Where was this?"
	"In the bar in Chicago, I was hiding from the guys who kidnapped me."
	"Was a Mass Relay situated nearby?"
	"A...what?"
	"You...don't know what a Mass Relay is?"
	"Wha-no!  I didn't even go to high school, well, no sorta, I was only there for a year, this sounds like some sorta physics shit I can't get my head around."
He rubbed his head with both hands, feeling a little warm from frustration as Dahnus said:
	"Let's move on.  What happened next?"
	"Well, lots of things...the next eight years of my life I was travelling through all these different worlds that I never knew about."
	"What kind of worlds?"
	"Like, a planet full of space pirates that got blown up, the Lylat system where I got a ride with this group of mercenaries, a little town called Crossville, that place was seriously weird once you thought about it all enclosed off with nowhere else to go, and this alternate version Chicago that looked like it was back in the 20th century."
	"What was that like?"
	"Uh...heh, I was running with a dog and a rabbit who were detectives, and we got put in an asylum that some crooked mayor made up 'cause he was crazy or something with all these explosive rocks...then I left and ended up in a race in some futuristic city kinda similar to this one and-okay you seriously don't believe ANY of this shit do you?"
	"Well...I must admit I'm finding my imagination a little stretched."
	"Then why did you bring me here!?"
	"Protocols, James, protocols.  But please, go on."
	"You know, I could be making this shit up for all you know."
	"Believe me, I'll know if you're lying.  Go on."
	"Okay..."

James explained over more than half an hour on what he had been doing, his journey sounding more and more incredulous and unbelieveable, even to himself.  He tried not to mention everything, but whenever he became evasive the officer would somehow know.  Whether it was by gut instinct or the surprisingly accurate lie detector, he was unable to hide any of his story.  He did however skim past any more embarrassing moments, as well as his encounter with the scissors themselves knowing how insane it would be to hear.
Even the parts he sounded heroic in, which he felt proud to recite again, did not sound any more convincing before ending on:
	"-then I teleported again and woke up here aaaand you found me hiding off in a corner.  I'm just trying to get home, so I ended up here."
	"To the Citadel?"
	"Well, just this galaxy I guess.  I need to find someone who can get me home, someone who can teleport me back to MY universe.  MY Chicago."
	"I see.  There's just one thing that bothers me on your story, as...incredulous as it sounds."
	"Ahhh huh?"
	"...why can't you just teleport back home yourself?"
	"Well...I...I-i-i can't."
He admitted this with an impotent shame, the officer asking:
	"Why not?"
	"I don't know!  I wish I knew, but everytime I think about home, everytime I'm desperately wishing for home, pleading to be back in Chicago, it never comes, it just NEVER COMES!  I never return there, I always end up in some other crazy fucking place!  And I'm sick of it!"
He banged the table in frustration, throwing his hands up and clasping his head.  Drumarien leaned forwards anxiously with a hand out to soothe him.
	"Hey hey, calm down!  Calm down, okay?"
	"S-sorry...I...I just...been away from home for so long.  I miss my friend, I miss my home, I made friends along the way sure but I know I can go back to them anytime, and I wanna go home, back to MY home!  ...just...been dealing with way too much shit happening to me, I feel I should be dead like twelve times or something...sometimes I give up on going home, then there's always something pushing me onwards to go again, like I'm some kind of fucking toy for someone!  I'm just so tired..."
Looking at Dahnus, he did look a very tired creature in his exasperation which even he saw in the reflection of the metal desk.  Once he had been a bright-eyed arrogant young raptor.  Now, his eyes were strained and partly bloodshot, muscles thickened, his expression humbled with a heavy sigh.
	"I just want to go home.  I know none of this sounds believeable to you but...I just want to go home.  I NEED to get home."
	"I have to admit," said Dahnus, "a lot of your story is rather...difficult to comprehend.  I mean, a mansion full of spirits?  A kingdom full of...mushrooms, was it?  I'll be honest, that part sounds rather hallucinogenic but you're clearly not showing any signs of that.  Now the city of zombies, THAT part I can kinda believe-"
	"Hey, I didn't wanna tell you everything!  I know it sounds bullshit, but your lie detector here demanded it so I don't look evasive and all shifty like fuck, so you wanna hear all the crazy bullshit, you got it pal.  Look, I KNOW how stupid this all sounds to you, I know how it all seems that I walk in here with some stupid-ass-looking weapon and a fucking SATCHEL made out of LEATHER!  I mean, what do you have?!  Some glowing orange thingamajig on your hand and ships flying all out there back and forth in SPACE, like fancy cars!"
	"I take it that's a sight you are not used to."
	"Not for a while no...but the point is, I know I don't belong here, I know I sound crazy, so I'm not gonna convince you about it.  I just want to find someone, to help me get home, in whatever way they can.  I don't want to start anything here, I just want to go home.  Can you help me...please, officer?"
With genuine need in his eyes, the raptor waited until the Turian finished the interview.
	"We'll see what we can do for you James.  You can put your stuff away now, I'm...sorry for all this stress that this is causing you.  Interview ended at 17:02 Citadel Time."