Recollection

Disclaimer: The Author assumes you are familiar with or know of the Original Character "Ainsley Mason-Croft" and have read the previous work of fiction "An Unwelcome Surprise"

Present Day
I made my way back into the doctor's office and sat myself down on the chaise lounge. The last session was helpful but now I had to talk about something that I've been keeping bottled up for all of my life. I don't want to, but I know that I need to. "Alright Doctor Gwen, I'm ready." 
My doctor was one Gwen Mason a blue skunk girl who was a prodigy. She hadn't even reached her teens yet and still she has earned the qualifications needed to be a doctor. "Need I remind you that my title is Dr. Gwen Mason." she irritably replied. "Never mind" she sighed "During your last session you mentioned a place called "Saint Rosemary's. Please tell me about it."
I took a deep breath and started telling what is literally the story of my life.

24 Years before Present Day

All my life I've been an orphan. I have no idea what my actual birthday is but I was found on the doorstep of Saint Rosemary's, an orphanage, on Christmas Eve of all days. No sign of anything to identify whose child I was, all I had was the blanket I was wrapped in. I was taken in by the Mother Superior and the Sisterhood and given a name. That name is Ainsley. I guess I should be thankful they didn't give me a festive name befitting the season. The sisters were rather reluctant to tell me anything more than that, I cannot really remember anything that happened to me until I was older.

20 Years before Present Day

It wasn't until I was around 4 years old that I started being able to remember. Every day had a routine to it. At 7:00 it was time to wake up, anyone who did not wake up within 5 minutes of the alarm would be pushed out of bed. It was always a shock whenever it happened. At 7:20 it was breakfast. It was always a simple meal consisting of a bowl of Porridge. At 7:30 we would head into the chapel, say morning prayers and listen to the sermon. From 8:00 to 13:00 we were taught by the sisters in Arithmetic, Religion and Literature. It was a rudimentary education at best. At 13:00 we go for lunch and are allowed to play. If the weather permitted we could go outside, running around outdoors was the only exercise we had. From 13:30 until 17:00 we had more lessons, this time in History, Geography and more Religion. From 17:00 we had free time again. At 18:00 we had dinner and evening prayers immediately afterwards. Finally at 18:30 we bathed and after drying off proceed to bed.
This routine was never broken. Not even for holidays. Every day it was the same, day after day, week after week, month after month. It was mind-numbing. If anyone was disrespectful or broke the routine in any way, they were punished.
17 Years before Present Day
For 7 years of my life the routine did not change. Many of the friends I had made had been adopted into, hopefully, loving families. I was the oldest child in the orphanage and would be for a long time to come. I never gave up hope that I would be adopted. I kept to the routine, it was the only thing I knew.
But the streak was broken. We had assembled for our morning lesson but the sister in charge was conspicuously absent. None of us had any idea what to do. Do we sit and wait? Or do we go looking for her. After some time I decided to go. 
The corridors were empty. There was no sign that the sister was on her way. I decided to head towards the Mother Superior's office. Surely she would know what I should do. That was a mistake.
As I approached the office I noticed the door was ajar. I could hear the Mother Superior talking on the telephone but I couldn't make out what the conversation was. However I knocked the door. I could her say "Hold on a moment" before she came to the door. "What are you doing here!?" she shouted at me. I told her "The sister hasn't turned up to teach us." "Not likely!" she retorted "Now tell the truth! You were eavesdropping on me, weren't you!?" I did not know what the word meant and even said "Eavesdropping? I don't know what that means." The look on her face was one of unbridled rage. "Lies!" she screamed, grabbing me by the arm as she did so. "I know of an appropriate punishment for you." I was dragged into the room, the door was locked behind me. She approached her desk and pulled out a pair of scissors and spoke "An eye for an eye, an ear for an ear." I knew what she meant by this and desperately I pleaded "But I've done nothing to your ears" Her voiced erupted "SILENCE!" I was gripped by fear. "This is simply the correct punishment."
The last thing I can remember was her approaching me, scissors in hand. Everything faded to black. When I woke up I had thought it was just an nightmare. It must have been, the fact that the routine was broken was surely a sign that it wasn't real. But I realised, I wasn't in the dormitory. It was clear I wasn't in the orphanage at all. I leaned up out of the bed and was immediately drawn to the sight of a mirror. It took me seconds to figure out that something was wrong. I saw my ears were wrapped up in bandages. I reached up to my ears and squeezed them. The pain was sharp. I was silenced, the realization that my ears had been mutilated horrified me. 

Present Day
"I see, that explains why your feelings towards that place." The doctor's words brought me out of my trance. "And yet this doesn't explain your feelings towards Rose, the lady claiming to be your sister." "While I do owe that Orphanage for raising me, what they did and the fact that they were able to go without proper justice being exacted is unforgivable" I uttered "Still even after their mutilation of me I had nowhere else to go." Gwen was writing down in her notebooks "I don't blame Rose for what happened. That wasn't her fault." I remarked "My issue with isn't with what she has done but rather Who she is."
"O.K." responded Gwen "Please, let's continue"

10 Years before Present Day
After the incident my routine at the orphanage changed. While the schedule remained the same I was kept isolated from the rest of the orphans. I woke up in a different room, I ate in a different room, I learned in a different room. I was cut off from the rest of the world. I knew at this point that there was no chance that I would be adopted. There would be no family for me. The only way I would ever have a family, would be to make one myself. I knew that I would need a surname for this It would be highly irregular not to have one. I picked up the nearest book I could find. It was a history textbook and pointed my finger to a word. That word was Mason. Just as Masons build up many wonders from stone, I too shall build up a family. At the age of 14 I had given myself the name Ainsley Mason.
"But why then do you hyphenate it with Croft?" inquired Gwen. "Patience. I'm about to explain that." I replied.

8 Years before Present Day
It was the 17th of April. I had spent 16 years of my life at Saint Rosemary's. In the eyes of society I was legally a man now. While I was not in the public school system I was at the age where education was no longer mandatory. I could go out into the world and get a job, in fact I had to. I was the oldest orphan there To put it bluntly it was questionable to keep me in the same environment as the younger children. It was necessary that I left to avoid unsavoury comments.
I was sitting alone in the room that I had spent so much of my life in. It was bittersweet. Before I could too emotional one of the sister entered the room she informed me that a man had arrived to see me. I was confused. It couldn't possibly be people looking to adopt me, I was too old and none knew I was here besides the sisters and the other orphans. Tentatively, I went to meet this man.
I had exited the building and was met with the sight of an aging chauffeur standing in front of a glorious black Sedan. "Please get in" he stated in the most formal tone possible. The front passenger door was held open. As I climbed in I thought "If I have to leave I might as well leave now".
We had been driving for a few minutes in relative silence. Breaking the silence I asked "Where are we going? If you don't mind me asking." After a slight pause he explained "We are heading to the homestead of my employers, the Croft family." "Are they... my family" I asked. "Indeed they are" was the response of the chauffeur. At the time I was elated after 16 long years at that orphanage not only was I going to a family but I was going to my family, the place I should have been all along. That feeling did not last, regardless of the fact I was returning to them the question remained, Why now? Why after all this time am I going to my birth family?.
"There are a couple of things I do not understand." I spoke "Why was I left at that orphanage in the first place?" There was a long pause, the longest since I got into this car, before he replied "At the time Sir and Lady Croft did not feel they were ready for children and despite their precautions you were conceived." Those words made my whole body ache "despite their precautions" I asked him, with slight worry "Do you mean to say that I was...  I was an accident?" He did not answer the question but his expression told all. I wasn't supposed to be. Holding back my anger I asked another question "Then why now am I returning?" This time he did respond "Truth be told I am not aware of why myself."
My mind was swamped with thoughts. All my life I had dreamed of being in a family and here I was going to my true mother and father only to find I was never wanted in the first place. That was why I was left at the orphanage with no name. I also realized how they had sent for someone to collect me instead of doing so themselves. It was clear I meant nothing to this family.
At this point we had been driving for a while and we were approaching the limits of the city. The chauffeur had slowed down for a red light. In that moment I reached over him to undo the lock and bolted out of the car. I didn't look back. I just ran. I ran as far as I could. 

Present Day
"And I kept running until I arrived here." I took in a deep breath. It's at this point that I was supposed to feel as though a great weight has been lifted, as though sharing all this had resolved all of my issues. It did not. "So Why did you take add Croft to your name if you felt that way?" Gwen questioned "Because despite the fact that they hold no love for me I am a Croft, that name is my birthright."
"So what I have inferred from your words Ainsley is that the reason that you feel such negative feelings towards Rose is the following ; while you were left in an orphanage she got to spend her life with her family, is this accurate?" Gwen said with bold precision. I nodded yes in response
"Alright, thank you for sharing with me Ainsley. But I feel I should point out what you just said, isn't entirely true." she stated "You said that no Croft held any love for you. Why then did Rose go so far out of her way to find you?" After some thinking I realized, she has a point. While my parents did not make any effort in regards to me this girl Rose, my sister, has come so far to find me.
I took a deep sigh "I suppose I should apologize to Rose. Thanks doctor." I stood up and went to leave the room. Gwen coughed rather loudly "Ahem" I turned around "Yes?" I said "There's just the matter of payment. The first session was a freebie due to Mrs. Salome but for this session I will require proper recompense." she stated.
"Would you like a cookie?" I said slightly panicked "No, Ainsley. This session comes to $55." she firmly replied "How about ten cookies?" I said desperately "Mr Mason-Croft. Despite appearances I am a professional. I will not accept 10 cookies as due payment. Am I clear?" she stated, her tone was rigid. I meekly squeaked out "30 cookies?" Gwen was silent for a minute before letting out an exasperated sigh finally answering "O.K. deal."
I left the doctor's office and proceeded to head home. Today had given me a lot to think about. My mind was fixated on Rose. 10 years ago I chose my name as a commitment to making a family. It looks like I have someone to count as such.
"I just hope it's not too late to make it up to her."