I hadn’t spent much time discussing the nature of my roommate at the university, not to anyone reading this and not to Tik Tik.
I had come to learn of Erin early in my academic career. It was during a trip to the library for the knowledge I had not acquired in my more traditional way. I spotted the human woman, plump-ish, sitting in a corner with her face buried in the text I was about to read.
Ours was a fast friendship, as our academic pursuits led us to late-night study sessions and lengthy discussions during mealtimes.
The one that caused me to pause was the one we left off on before we were absconded by the would-be master mage. It occurred one evening, studying alone together in the comforts of a dormitory, where we were free to speak at leisure. I had noticed for quite some time that Erin had reservations about talking to me about certain things.
I allowed her to enjoy a simple session, studying for her thesis on the biology of sentient creatures. I interjected when I thought the time was right.
“Erin, something has been bothering you since we first met. Please, tell me what it is.”
Erin closed her book on fairy kind and took a deep breath. Sitting upon the bed with trembling hands. “Being human in a world filled with so many magnificent creatures is terrifying,” she had confided in me. “Even smaller creatures like kobolds and goblins have comparable intelligence but have the natural weapons to deal considerable damage.” She waved her hand over toward me, pausing for a moment to consider her words, no doubt. “I mean, look at you. You’re just like any other girl, but you can do more than any other girl.”
I confide that I have enough human experience to feel a sort of kinship with their kind. However, to be considered something different, something ‘other,’ didn’t sit well with me, neither at the time nor now. “A human-centric world view is to be expected, I suppose,” I added into the conversation before it became too strained, “considering the high population and reproductive rates of humans. Your libido is incredible, after all.”
From that, I could smell the arousal in the air. How long had Erin actually wanted to turn our relationship into something else? I cannot say for sure, but I knew from the subject that her desire was not one of a meeting of the minds, but of a kink she had for things different from her. I don’t know how much I could stomach such knowledge should I have attempted to reciprocate her feelings with action.
“I want to know all about monstrous anatomy and its relationship to humankind,” Erin admitted. “Did you notice how close to the human form most of the participants in the Tournament of Pleasure were? Are humans close to the gods, or are the gods the epitome of the humanoid form? Why do many monsters look like us? Why do the gods choose us over others in most cases?”
“You consider me a monster?” I blurted that out, unable to hold myself back any longer. Did I make a mistake in doing so? Perhaps. But what’s done is done.
She frowned, no doubt feeling the tension building between the two of us. Whether that tension was bringing us together or tearing us apart would not be revealed until we both danced around our thoughts and feelings. “It’s just... there are many races, but so many adhere to the humanoid shape. I want to discover why that’s something to admire or aspire against. After all, there was that one participant... Dr... Winnow, was it? They seemed to want to surpass human limitation, but is there really a limitation or a secret to unlock?”
Kazue Yukimora, a.k.a, Winnow. That was a strange and terrifying individual who created bizarre monstrosities in some attempt to create a perfect race. They were not the first to attempt such experiments. I didn’t know much about them during the conversation, but I did find out from my dealings with Tik Tik. It was that moment that flashed in my mind that urged me to find Erin and that moment that terrifies me even as I write these words.
But then, all I could do was respond truthfully. “I didn’t watch any of the Tournament, I’m afraid. I was busy with my studies.”
“Ah, that’s too bad. It was most enlightening. Well, I suppose one such as you wouldn’t know about being trapped in one form.”
She used such hateful language again. Did she know what she was saying? Did she know how much it hurt? “I’m afraid I do not, though my own form is dictated chiefly by my diet, and I am defined by the experiences I have acquired through consumption.”
“Still, it would be a change of pace to be someone else, if only for a little while.”
“I’d still be me; I’d just know more and look different. Erin, you shouldn’t have to change yourself to feel good about yourself, not in such drastic ways. Even humans have their means of bettering themselves mentally and physically that doesn’t destroy what they are.”
The look on her face told me that I had said something terrible. Perhaps it wasn’t just her who had the narrow-minded and hateful thoughts going through her mind? Maybe, I, too, had some learning to do. I was fully ready to do so, but at that moment, I could not do anything about it because our conversation ended with Tik Tik’s arrival. The ideas that my friend presented and mixed with the magical potential that Tik TIk had acquired by her new companions left me with the most possible worry. After all, Tik Tik’s attitude had become much less guarded since our very first adventure. A friendly face like hers hides carelessness, and I fear that might lead to her downfall.