Papa Bear was about to take the first bite of his “premium-level” prime rib steak when his phone started beeping at him again with another text message alert. He hit the button to silence it,  opened his muzzle to insert the delicious and expensive meat when Mama Bear’s phone started to ring.

His mate put down her fork full of venison steak, and answered “Hello? Yes….sorry but as stated earlier the Bed and Breakfast is self-serve right now.  Let yourself in with your phone app or use the code 1234 to grab one of the rooms.”
 
His sensitive brown ears could hear a litany of whiny complaints even from over here.

“Just choose a room. We do not offer ‘Dinner Service’  at a Bed and Breakfast.  We offer you a good price, a comfortable bed, and breakfast.  As we told you, we were closed and only your desperate request let us consider letting you stay at all.  Order take-out, or you can grab something from the refrigerator and heat it up if you like.  This is our scheduled Night Off.  We are only charging you 20% of what you normally would pay.  Consider it a bargain, or leave and find other lodgings.”, said Mama Bear, hanging up the phone.

Baby bear just watched the whole thing, munching on his Chicken Nuggets Supreme, dressed nicely in his little 3 piece suit, watching Ewe-tube videos with earbuds in, to not disturb the other diners in what Papa called the “Swanky Restaurant”.

Papa Bear was in the middle of his steak when his phone beeped.  Ms Goldie Locks again.  He checked his text message and replied.

GL -  “Can I make the can of soup from the pantry?”

PB - “Yes, go ahead. Make soup. Eat soup.  Watch TV.  Drink the 6-pack of beer.  Have wine. Whatever, just please leave us be to enjoy our night out.  The whole house has door keypad security code 1234. Treat the house like you were visiting your parents house.”                                                                                                                    

After eating, and leaving a generous tip to the excellent wait staff at “Ristorante Swank”, Papa bear headed to the minivan. 

“Do you think we will make the movie on time, dear?”, asked Mama bear.  “I hate to miss the opening credits.”

“I hope they show the preview for the new ‘Bat-fur VS Jackal’ movie!”, said the baby bear excitedly.

“I think we will be fine, my dear.”, said Papa Bear, starting up the vehicle and heading for the “Movie Metroplex” the next town over.

Grabbing overpriced popcorn and drinks, Papa Bear reminded everyone to “silence the phones”.  He turned his off completely as did Mama Bear, and they headed off to the 9pm showing of “Feral Pets”.

During the first act, Baby Bear leaned over to Mama.  “Mama, what does it mean to ‘shotgun beer’? Does that mean to shoot beer cans?”, he asked.

“No Baby, it means to drink it really fast, now watch the movie you wanted to see.”, Mama replied without thinking.

A while later, Baby Bear turned to Papa.  “Papa, can I have the empty popcorn tub?  I need to go potty and don’t want to miss the movie.”, he said.

Shocked, Papa Bear replied “No!  We aren’t feral bears who go to the woods to shi—go potty. I will take you to the bathroom.  We are Civilized bears!”

“Then why would someone poop in the oven?”, asked Baby Bear.

“Let’s not be vulgar, lets go little bear.” Papa said, sweeping the smaller brown bear off to the nearest Males Room to use the toilet.

Papa did his own business, impressed by the automatically flushing urinal, and washed his paws at there automatic sink, then waited in the males room for Baby Bear. 

 From in the stall Baby Bear asked “Papa, what is ‘pulling a train’ on someone?”

“I’m not sure, little bear.  You can’t pull trains.  They are way too big, you need an engine--” he started to say.

“Papa, I need to be wiped! I’m all done!” said Baby Bear. Papa bear cleaned up the behind of the younger bear with toilet paper, while Baby Bear was looking at his z-phone.

“Put that away until the movie is done, Baby Bear.”, said Papa. 

“Yes, Papa.”, replied the well-behaved little bear, who headed automatically to the sink to wash paws with plenty of soap and water. When he was soaped and rinsed, Baby Bear smiled at the hot air dryer that took all the excess moisture from his paws and fur.

“Papa, we should get these things for the house toilet!” Baby bear said.

“Maybe someday, Baby Bear.”, replied Papa.  “Lets get back in there and finish your movie.”

After the end of the movie (Where the feral pets managed to escape being pet-napped and got back to their owners, who loved them) Papa Bear turned on his phone.

First of all were the alerts about the dozens of text messages. Great.  Then there was a Muzzlebook alert that he opened.  The “3 Bears Bed and Breakfast” was trending!

Opening up the alert Papa was pleased for a moment, because so many furs were talking about their small family owned local business. Until he opened the notifications!
 
That picture looked like the microwave in his kitchen. But why was smoke coming from it?  Why was there an unopened soup can with a blackened label inside?

Scrolling through the alerts Papa Bear noticed pictures of other furs in his home!

Was that a crowd in his kitchen watching a drunk wolf with his pants down taking a shit in Papa Bear’s oven?

The next picture had a vixen…peeing in a potted plant in the living room?!

The bedrooms...OMG! There were pictures of a huge pile of furs rutting in Baby Bear’s bed! It looked like a series of pictures all with different furs with the same female bunny!

“Hey! What the #@$% is wrong with you, you pervert!” yelled a coyote from behind him, giving him a shove,  “You want to paw off to that stuff, do it at home and not in a kids movie!”
“I should call the cops on you!”
 
Papa jammed the phone in his pocket, grabbed Mama Bear and Baby Bear and ran, dragging them both out to the parking lot.

“What is wrong, Papa Bear?”, asked Mama, shocked at this strange behavior.

“Get in the car! We have to get home, now!” said Papa, shoving his phone at Mama Bear. 

She looked at the smartphone.  “What the $#@^!”she yelled, completely shocked. Mama Bear grabbed Baby Bear and ran to the blue minivan and practically tossed him into his seat, jumping in herself, as they raced out of the parking lot.

Mama Bear opened the messages:
GL- I tried to make the soup, but it burned the can and microwave sparked.  Sorry
GL – I found some porridge in the fridge, but the microwave is broken.   I threw the porridge out.
GL – Gods, I’m starving. I ordered a pizza and grabbed a couple beers, hope you don’t mind.
GL – The beer is prtty gud with whisky I found in the liquor cabinat as a chjzer.
GL – Pizza guy brung me a pizza and I dndt have money so I offered him the wine ands a blowjob. He cummed on your pillow so you need a new pillowcase.
GL – pizza guy left and im so %^#@!@#$ horny. U need to cum home and fux me bad. Il do you and the wife at the same time.
GL – pizza guy had frnds cum over and partyy,  M in heat now so they wanted to fux me in Baby’s bed. Weird but I needot so bad…doint it now in my $%#@^.

GL – srry someone puked on your laptop.
GL- Momma I luvs you. When can u snd money for me? My brthday is nxt weel and I need sum money to prty with

GL – sorry lst msg not 4 u.
GL – ur mates vibe had ded battries.

Mama Bear just dropped the phone. She did not know what to say.

Papa Bear called the police and reported the party as unauthorized. They arrived minutes before the police cruisers did, finding a large group of older teens and early 20-something furs walking around.

After screaming at them to leave, and telling them the cops were on their way, most cleared out at a run. The rest were either sent home or taken into custody.
Finally the 3 bears made it into the home. The white living room carpet was destroyed.  There were beer cans and bottles all over.  Cigarette butts littered the floor and the whole house stank of cigarette smoke, weed, and spilled beer.

Someone had vomited on the white leather couch then tossed a dirty towel on it.  Urine was weeping from the ficus plant, and the oven...best left unsubscribed.

Ms. Goldie Locks tried to run, but was taken into custody for credit card fraud. 

The Three Bears B&B never served her again.