Her Descent
a primer
by Aegis St. Shadowdirge

	This is my one shot. It is my only breath of fresh air before I dive deeply into the project “Her Descent”. It all started innocently enough. Once upon a time I doodled a picture where I off-handedly made the claim that I would draw the Fupoco Maid getting stoned on a playground. I didn’t think anyone would notice or care. Ever. 
	This created a blind spot for me to play in. You see, in real life, I have a condition where I don’t want to be seen because I feel like everyone that witnesses me increases my maddening body dysphoria/existential regret. If no one is watching, I can be as me as I want. As me as I feel. How liberating!
	If no one will ever notice or care, then I can say what I want, no matter how silly or serious. I can say things the slightest inhibition would prevent. I can reference and cross-reference, go down multiple meta rabbit holes, weave metaphor into metaphor into metaphor, layer my terrors and otherwise “build a device to send everyone to hell,” to paraphrase one of my vulptastic heroes. (Jillas, in this case.) Such a device, at least in this prototype, is 100% effective, as long as no one understands it’s true power and purpose. The device can be witnessed and still work. Ideally, it is a stone burner and will take the sight of those that encounter it.
	Lofty, I know.
	So, since “Her Descent” is me metaphorically parading around in my yard, naked, I feel like I should take a moment to demonstrate some of the peripheral in my effort, just in case. I don’t know what I’m afraid of but my mind is telling me to be afraid.  
			1. The Fupoco Maid.
	I don’t understand the character. I don’t know the sex or gender of it. I don’t know the species of it. There’s hardly any pictures of it. But, I like the character and the design of it. It is a mascot for a porn game production company I’ve liked for a while. I want to say the maid didn’t originally exist? I can’t be bothered to research it.  The maid, who doesn’t even have a name, poor thing, poor abandoned creation, is synonymous with the Fupoco brand to me.
			2. Format and picture
	I thought it’d be funny if I made a base image to shit post whatever. I can have Fupoco Maid say anything! Either wax philosophical, talk about fetishes, or just talk about slamming a case of Mountain Dew. I have currently unrealized plans for the base image, but that’s kind of irrelevant. I doodled, crushed it, then touched up elements I wanted to be smoother.

			3. Proof of Concept
	Here’s where I get stupid. The rest of this is going to be dedicated to the currently published first fifteen pages of the experiment. 
I -       Fupoco is a very clean company. In Common Grounds, they imply many fetishes but only really show the most mild ones. Let’s face it, the only “real” fetish in Common Grounds is “furry”. “Gay” isn’t really seen as a fetish anymore. Cross-dressing that Troy does is very vanilla. Sebastion’s kink play is more about spontaneous and free sex. 
	The Fupoco Maid probably would draw a Mr. Rogers-like line in the sand about cub snuff. The question and call for passphrase is asked (as originally by the Dark Brotherhood’s black door to the sanctuary), to which the maid correctly answers, betraying knowledge and nihilism. When the notion of innocence is filtered out, cub snuff is not bad. Though one must always have a knee-jerk reaction to sentimentality and projected morality. This is a social norm. 

II -      I didn’t have a beginning, just parts two and three. The first part was last like an abominable reference to media rez, except I was not smart enough to plan it that way, except I will claim I did everywhere but here. Now the truth becomes murky and no one will ever know the difference or why I bothered to point it out.
	At the time of this writing, the Fupoco Maid’s genitals and preferred pronouns have not been publicly discussed in any meaningful way. Thinking about the previous sentence makes me feel a little gross, which is how I hope real people feel about discussing so casually another real person’s genitals and preferred pronouns. But, I have cemented my opinion on the necessity of having to do so, as it is really awkward to discuss a character that has no name, no sex, no gender, no species, and no displayed character traits! Give me something, god damn it.
	The response is a cheap shot about females who like content about gay males. 

III -      Leaning into silliness. I wondered how such a blank of a character even became a maid. This wager and the yearning desire to prolong maid play is my canon. And it works no matter what interesting character developments happen or not.

IV -      The veneer is cracking. I won’t say there’s something behind the maid, but there is behind this iterative interpretation and interaction. For being able to play and forget myself, I sure do love coming back to crises of self.

V -       Back to referencing things. The maid’s response is what the Military Princess, Altair, says in re:Creators. Altair is also a blank character that is molded by others since she was unintentionally abandoned by her maker. She has disgust and disdain for our world, a place that rejected her creator. 

VI -      Taking an older idea further, instead of Fupoco Maid saying one thing and making a reference, it is making a reference that is being interrupted, but treated as if it were conversation. The characters behind the veneer are stirring. The reference is to Coheed & Cambria’s meta-masterpiece, which in itself if a meta narrative.

VII -     Self-reference. I told someone that I would draw the Fupoco Maid getting stoned on a playground.  The maid brings this up. I agree. This is the first time the unseen character is thought to be myself or a representation thereof. It is a very dangerous step in the lifetime of this project.
VIII -     Another dangerous step. The me that was becomes the central figure, or the central figure pretends that it just now became the focus, mocking reality. Either way, the depicted maid’s response speaks to self-awareness and validity of one’s own designs.

IX -       Have you ever heard such internalized screaming for help? No. Because when I explained it the first time you thought it was a joke. I made it be a joke. It is too late. And it was too late before I made the puppet’s mouth move. I am going to have relief, even if it is escaping into shallow fictions. This is the event horizon.
	I’m just playing, it’s just an art project.

X -      Things were getting too heavy so I lighten the mood by doubling down. This iteration of the maid is saying the awareness of the creator (me) is starting to pick up that there are multiple characters playing the two parts and also notice the broken psychological processes that require such a release valve. It tells the counterpart that they must hide so that they can continue the work of helping me cope. Which feels bad admitting.
	The counterpart riffs on the maid’s choice of calling the awareness “dummy”, by referencing Magic, starring Anthony Hopkins. The maid plays along on the surface and in code. I can keep doing this and pretend that it’s just a silly game. Which is a cross-reference to III.

XI -      Leaning into silly reference, maid and counterpart do Sad but True by Metallica. It is a segment that is chosen for showing that even though it is silly time, there is still a deep undercurrent that isn’t just going to dream itself away.

XII -      Going along with lyrics and interjection that seem to be mimicking conversation, this time using only lyrics, albeit in Spanish (as the original recording was). This is another growth spurt. First time another language is used and first time that the speech bubbles only have lyrics in them.

XIII -     Another deceptively silly page. Counterpart is referencing Ralph Waldo Emerson’s “invisible eyeball” that is part and particle to God. Literary Romanticism. Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

XIV -     Diary of a Madman, by Ozzy Osbourne. That I thought it was fitting to use it should be revealing enough by itself.

XIV -     The maid quotes everyone’s favorite creepy, gay, grandfather, the Baron Vladimir Harkonnen, as depicted in Frank Herbert’s Children of Dune. The scene it is ripped from is an internal battle for control. The counterpart plays along.
	  After some pompous literature quotes I drop the meat and potatoes of my contention. I think something is important. Because I don’t feel like that thing is being treated with the respect that I feel it ought to be treated with, I feel like it is a personal attack on me and everything I do. Which is silly. Which is why I can say that and laugh it off. I hope it is healthy, or at least a healthy way of continuing to wade into treacherous waters. Time will tell. Or it is a cross-reference to IX. Either way, I can tell myself that I am a winner.

	Now that I’ve demonstrated some of the art imitating life imitating art imitating life imitating art, I aim to never pull back the curtain this far ever again. Like the economy, it will only work because of mystery and vague belief. I just wanted to, in some capacity, as a record, say that it’s all a work of fiction. There is no danger to myself, even if, within the confines of the project, I say there is. It is a ride. It is an amusement and a diversion, especially when it isn’t.