A dumb grin formed across Charlie’s beak as he basked in the afterglow of the most intense masturbation session of his life. Slumped out on his back, wings stretched lazily across his kinda-bed, he couldn't remember feeling so relaxed. Everything was wonderful. And as long as the happy, feel-good juices continued to flow through his veins, everything would be just fine. He was totally blissed out, as Lexi would say.

The moment was shattered by a muzzle poking through the cave's entrance. 

The shock was as if someone had blasted him in the face with a Hydro Pump. His stupor didn’t last very long, though, and once recovered he desperately went to hide his shame with his wings. But it was already too late. There could be no misinterpreting this. Charlie’s face had been deep in his own backside, and the evidence was splashed all over his beak and tail feathers. 

Reality crashed down to a single point as he and his dad locked eyes. All thoughts about gender vanished. The only thing that mattered now was thinking up a way to convince his dad that he hadn’t been eating himself out. 

Scrambling onto his feet, Charlie forced an awkward smile. "I… was preening?" he tried weakly.

Dad stared—Charlie squirmed under the totally judgemental gaze—before quickly looking away. "I thought I heard— never mind. I’ll, ah, just leave. You're growing up, and we definitely need to have a talk about this later, but I shouldn't have barged in like… Oh, no."

Charlie was initially confused by the sudden shift in tone, only for all the blood to drain out of his face when he followed his dad's gaze. Just when Charlie thought things couldn't possibly get any worse. He wasn't ready.

Dad saw the egg.

Why did I bring it home? Stupid, stupid, stupid! Should have chucked it over a cliff.

His father then did something unexpected. He rushed forward and… nuzzled him?

"I'm a terrible father," his dad whispered as his mind struggled to process the situation. Powerful paws wrapped around him in a gentle hug, bringing him against his father's fluffy chest. Charlie squawked in a mix of confusion and heavy embarrassment.

Arceus. Oh, jeez. Stop. I'm all messy! Don't hug me, this is so embarrassing...

It took Charlie longer than he cared to admit to realize the hug and apology were an admission of guilt. He stiffened. "Did you know I was female?"

"No," Dad replied, pulling away from the hug. He looked tired. "But I didn't know if you were male, either. I just... couldn't figure it out. I shouldn't make excuses, but there were no flying types around when you were a fletchling. There still aren't. I couldn't make heads or tails of your, ah…" he trailed off with a cough. "So I guessed. And I guessed wrong."

Despite everything, Charlie wasn't angry. He should have been, oh he really wanted to be, but he wasn't. 

"Dad," Charlie said, "this is really awkward for me. It’s... kind of a big deal. I was so sure I was a guy. My friends thought I was a guy. I still feel like a guy. And you— you’re going to be all weird around me now, and— and I don’t— I don’t want us—" 

Charlie squeezed his eyes tightly together. He couldn’t say it. Couldn’t say that he feared their relationship was forever stained. It was too painful. They’d never be the same again. He didn’t know how his dad would treat a daughter, but he knew it wouldn’t be the same as how he had treated his son. 

A paw propped up his chin, and he opened blurry eyes to see his dad… smiling? "Silly, Charlie. Listen to me. It doesn’t matter if you're my son or my daughter. You’re still my Charlie. Still my child. This is my mistake. Not. Yours. I’ll always love you. Nothing has changed.” 

Charlie couldn’t describe how much that meant to him. Only that it was such a massive relief that he nearly choked on his unshed tears. They burned at the root of his beak. “P-promise?”

He answered him with a hug, one Charlie leaned into with a hiccup. “Promise,” came the reply.

“I love you, Dad,” Charlie mumbled into his father’s wispy mane. 

There was a chuckle. “I love you too.”

A few minutes passed where he enjoyed the moment. It had been a while since he simply… let his dad hold him. Not since he was freshly evolved, at least. It was nice. Assuring. Everything was going to be okay.

Charlie let out a sniffle once the hug ended. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and he could finally fly again. His sinuses also didn’t feel like they were going to explode anymore, so that was nice. 

“Are you doing okay?" Dad suddenly asked. 

“I feel a lot better now,” Charlie said softly, “thanks, Dad.” 

“That’s great! But I meant physically. I don’t know much about bird pokemon—as we learned the hard way—but I do know about, hm, birth.” Charlie paled at the comparison, though he couldn’t say it was too far off. “Are you still sore? Do you need a bath? I can put a couple large blocks of ice in the tub for you to melt and warm up. I can't even… I'm so sorry you laid an egg. I'm sorry you discovered my mistake this way. I'm just sorry. The least I can do as your father is help you relax and get cleaned up. I'm here for you."

Oh. He thinks all the fluids are from the egg. Yeah. Let's… let's keep him thinking that way. 

"Um, thanks," Charlie said, avoiding eye contact like he always did when deeply uncomfortable. But he would take being uncomfortable over being anxious any day. He wasn’t anxious anymore. Not when he knew his father would always love him. "A bit sore, but I'm better. Really. It only hurt a lot in the moment." Looking away, he found himself staring at his father's leftmost tail. It was fluffy. This is so embarrassing. But it does feel nice that he cares. "A bath would be nice."

Dad smiled, and Charlie found his own genuine smile to give back.

Three days went by. Three long, boring days. Not once had he gone outside. Actually, that was a lie. He did go outside, once, if only to finally dispose of that egg. Chucking it off the southern cliff and into the sea should have felt cathartic. It should have been freeing. Instead, he had hesitated for longer than he cared to admit before tossing it in, and watched with a sinking sensation as it tumbled into the darkness below; winced as it hit the ocean with a distant splash.

His gut twisted itself into knots as he stared at the location his egg disappeared to, even long after the ripples ceased. As if he had done something terrible, irreversible. He knew that the egg was infertile, anything else was impossible, but something in him cried that what if—just maybe—it wasn’t. 

Lexi would say I was being silly, and honestly, I wouldn’t blame her. Am I screwed up now? Did laying an egg break me? What would my friends think if I told him this? Or maybe Lexi would understand? She did ask if I wanted the egg. Friends are confusing.

Speaking of friends: he hadn't spoken to any of them during those three days. Not even Lance. How could he face them? Face him in particular? They had been so close. Done everything together. Being female shouldn't have changed that, and yet… 

Charlie shook his head. After the heart to heart with his father, he knew he was being silly. Lance had tried to visit him every single day. Their friendship was as strong as ever. He just wasn't ready to face him. Not yet.

Lance wasn't having it, apparently. 

Today, instead of allowing himself to be turned away by Charlie's father, Lance had snuck into the cave and into his room. 

At first, Charlie wanted him to go away. He really, really did. Except he couldn't form the words. Then Lance started talking. Not about Charlie being female, oh no. Instead he simply… talked. About everything they always had. 

Nothing had changed, and that realization was enough for the words to spill out of his mouth. It wasn't long before they were talking and laughing like he hadn't laid an egg three days ago.

It was nice.

Hours later, Charlie's father came into the two of them goofing off. Apparently, it was nearly sundown and he suggested that Lance go home before it gets too dark, but after some begging, also like old times, the ninetales sighed and allowed Lance to stay over. To the cheers of them both.

Not once in the past few hours had Charlie thought about being female. Not once. 

And then Lance had to bring it up.

The vulpix looked torn for a moment before blurting, "How are you holding up? You know, after what happened? Do you want to… talk about it?"

Charlie stared at his friend. "Uhhhh," he began, resisting the urge to flare his wings. "No. Can we just pretend that never happened? Yeah, let's do that! You can go back to telling me about that silly thing your sister did."

Lance scuffed at the ground with a paw. When his ears lowered, Charlie knew he wasn't going to drop it. Oh no, he thought, breathing quickening from anxiety, I don't want to deal with this right now. Anything but this! 

Just as his feathers were beginning to puff out, Lance blind-sighted him with a hug. Charlie stiffened as his best friend buried his muzzle into his plumage and began to shake. 

"Lance?!" Charlie exclaimed. "You okay, dude?"

There was a sniffle. "N-no," Lance replied, his voice shaking. "I'm feeling really c-confused right now and I just want you to be okay and I don't think you're okay and I want you to know that it's okay that you're a girl and you're my best friend and—"

"Uhhhh, I'm fine!" Charlie half-lied. He wasn't feeling one-hundred percent, true, but if Lance began crying right now he had no clue how to handle it. "Really!"

"But you've been avoiding me all week and you've never done that before!" he argued, making Charlie flinch at the truth in that statement. "You're totally hurting and I want to make you feel better but I don't know how!" This was where Lance's sniffles turned into hiccups, and the first tears began to fall. 

Charlie felt like his heart was forcing its way out of his throat, and in a moment of urgency, he wrapped his wings around the breaking down foxsicle. "You being here is enough," he murmured as Lance buried his muzzle under his wings and cried. "I already feel much better, okay? I needed some time to think through some things. That's all. Figure out how I want to go forward. I'm not feeling… perfect, but I think I'll be okay. 

Lance wiggled out from under his wings and looked up at him with reddened eyes. "R-really?"

"Really," he confirmed. With his wings back to himself, he folded them at his sides. "It's freaking weird to know I have a vagina, and a uterus, and all that egg-making stuff," Charlie took a moment to shiver at the memory of just what that 'egg-making stuff' could do, "but I've always had internal bits. Even when I thought I was male, I knew it was internal. I can get used to this… Though, I don't think I'll ever get used to laying eggs. That was not fun. I'd take shooting sperm over squeezing out eggs any day."

Lance, tear-streaks in his fur, turned a brilliant shade of crimson. 

Despite himself, Charlie grinned. "Oh? Is talking about my lady parts making you uncomfortable? I know you're squeamish around the girls, but you've never been shy around me before! Is it just because I'm a girl now? Not cool, dude." 

Lance seemed to miss the sarcasm, and Charlie's smile only grew when he made a sound closer to a drowning spheal than a vulpix. "That's not— I'm, uh— it's just that— oh, you're teasing me." Lance glared as best he could with his adorable vulpine face, and it was at this point that Charlie burst into giggles. "Hey, what's so funny!? I thought we were having a moment!"

He tittered in apology, though his beaky smile remained. "Sorry," he said. "I just couldn't resist. But seriously, don't treat me any differently. I know you have trouble talking to girls, but I'm not a girl girl. I'm your friend, who just so happens to have always been a girl?" He shrugged his wings. "I know, it's weird, but imagine how I feel."

Lance took a second to answer. "Awkward?"

"Yeah," Charlie agreed, "but it's more like I'm unsure of myself. Everything I thought I knew is different. All my thoughts, feelings, even my actions… how much of it is because I'm a girl, and how much of it is because I'm, well, me?"

"I've never even considered you could be a girl before it happened," Lance pointed out. That did make him feel better, if only marginally. "You never really acted like a girl. You were always just... Charlie. So I think you're you, and being a girl is a part of you, but not the part of you. Does that make sense?"

"It kind of does." Charlie had a strange thought as he looked at Lance: they had talked about a lot of 'guy stuff' together. They had argued over who had the nicest rump out of their female friends—it was totally Nicky—they had wondered, together, what being female might be like (ironic, now), and they had actually excitedly told each other about their first times masturbating. Which was kind of awkward thinking back, as neither gave the other much detail besides the pleasure, which indirectly led to Charlie's further confusion over his sex. 

All of it seemed normal, even fun in the past. But could they ever do that again without it being weird? What if Lance couldn't stop thinking about him having a vagina? Charlie knew he'd probably experience similar trouble if the roles were reversed. Though, with how, ah, visible Lance's equipment was, he couldn't imagine thinking of Lance as anything but male.

It's so weird to think that, if we wanted to, we could technically have sex and make life. It would be straight, too. Now that is difficult to wrap my mind around. Not that he wanted to have sex with Lance, far from it. The reality that they could, and it would make baby pokemon, was what baffled him. 

"Can I see it?"

Lance's sudden question pulled him out of his thoughts. He gave the vulpix, who was blushing as hotly as one of his fire type cousins, a look just as strange as his question. "See it? See what?"

"You know, um… Since you're a girl—not that I think that changes anything!" he quickly clarified as Charlie's eyes narrowed, "But, uh, we've always talked about being curious and, um, you know, getting a good look under a girl's tail."

Charlie did remember. He recalled feeling the way Lance was right now, but that didn't stop him from being absolutely baffled. "I… but you've seen under my tail before. It hasn't changed. It's not even like I'm a mammal, so you won't be able to see anything female from the outside anyways."

Surprisingly, Charlie's argument didn't make Lance back down. Quite the opposite. "What about the inside?"

Charlie starred at the vulpix in disbelief. "Surely you got a good look when I squeezed out that stupid egg!" he snapped. 

He instantly regretted his words when Lance's ears fell back. The vulpix looked as though he'd been kicked. 

"I actually didn't look once I realized what was happening." It was said in a whisper, though Charlie heard it clear as day. "I couldn't watch you in pain like that. It was terrible. I'm so sorry you had to go through it. I would've traded places with you if I could. I didn't realize female birds had it that bad. I'm sorry I asked to look."

Charlie felt terrible himself now. He wasn't actually mad at Lance. Not really. He shouldn't have yelled. Lance was his friend, a friend who cared about him. But he was also curious, as Charlie admittedly would be too if he had a male friend who was suddenly female. As his friend, why couldn't he indulge him a little?

"No, I'm sorry. Um." Now it was his turn to flush. Stupid face, stop heating up. "Thanks for looking away while it was happening. It was probably really gross." He clicked his beak and fluttered his tail feathers anxiously. "You sure you want to look? There isn't much to see. Just my cloaca, and my tailhole, and I guess my vagina? I admit, I tried to find it after the egg. Bent over and everything, nearly broke my neck!"

Lance actually snorted. "How would that work? You don't have a flexible bone in your body!"

Charlie gave a mock gasp. "I'll have you know I nearly touched my tail feathers with my beak! I just couldn't get a good... angle to see anything." 

That was a lie. He had seen everything. Charlie didn’t know why he was lying to Lance about this. It was just, telling Lance that he had, in fact, found his vagina and, in fact, got off multiple times three days ago… the thought made his heart race. 

There was a gleam in Lance's eyes. "So, what you're telling me is you literally kissed your own ass?"

Charlie beamed, forgetting all about his little fib. This banter was exactly what he had craved. Just two friends, two guys, teasing each other. Being gross and not tip-clawing around each other. No sexual tension, no thoughts of how different they were down there now. Just two bros hanging out.

"Why do you ask?" Charlie challenged with mocking innocence. "Jealous?"

Lance gave him a deadpan look. "Please, I'm a vulpix. I could suck myself off if I wanted to."

Charlie's grin faltered. That he probably could. But it wasn't the mechanics of it that gave him pause, it was the slight twinge in his lower belly when he imagined Lance bending down, head between his legs, tongue out, and… No, that's enough. Don't think like that. He's just joking around, don't make it weird. 

Forcing himself to keep smiling, Charlie said, "Can't get Lexi to notice you, so a mouth's all you got, huh?"

Instead of sputtering at the clear burn, Lance instead looked taken aback. "Huh? Lexi? Who said I was into Lexi?"

Charlie found himself distinctly confused. "But I thought… I was so sure you were into her." He thought quickly, trying to remember the context behind his reasoning. "Didn't you tell me last year that her tail was nice? And that you'd 'love to get under it and show her a good time'?"

Lance looked like he was about to choke. "M-maybe? But that's just her looks! I didn't mean it, it was, uh, just bluster, you know?" His tails were as low as they could go. "Besides, I'm into someone else."

"Oh, you're into Nicky then?" There was an odd twang in his chest at that. Disappointment, even. Of what? Nicky can be annoying, sure, but good for Lance! At least lapras are hot. So there's a plus. Then why do I feel weird about it? "I'll admit, I've stolen a few glances under her tail. Though I may be biased, since, you know, cloaca."

"N-no, not her." He looked away, scuffing at the ground with a paw. "Let's change the subject."

"Oookay, then." Charlie didn't know what to say, honestly. So, thinking hard of another topic, he blurted, "You can look at my cloaca if you still want to." What the heck, brain. "Just don't make it weird or anything." What. The heck. Brain.

His eyes lit up. "Really?!"  

"Yep," he said, despite his reservations. Brain. No. "But you won't see much. It's basically just my tailhole. It would be like if I asked to see your tailhole." Strangely, the idea wasn't as unappealing as he first considered. It was curious, having multiple orifices on the outside. He wondered what it felt like for Lance… Stop it, mind. Tailholes are gross, not interesting.

"But you also have a vagina in there," he pointed out, to his increasingly mixed feelings. 

"I guess I do." Taking a deep breath, he lifted his tail feathers and spread his stance. There was a distinct chill against his cloaca, and with wide eyes, he felt himself clench. Oh, Arcues, please don't let me clench while he's looking. "J-just get it over with then? I'll hold still and you can… walk behind me and look."

Lance stepped behind him. Charlie heated up at the thought that the vulpix was getting an eyeful of everything under his tail. Unconsciously, he raised his tail feathers higher, and... clenched. 

If he had been embarrassed before, he was mortified now. He couldn't believe his body had done that. 

Nothing could make this any weirder. 

"Don't take this the wrong way," Lance suddenly began, "but you're kind of hot. Are you doing that clenching thing on purpose?"

Him and his big beak.

"Hot?!" he squawked, lowering his tail firmly against his vent and turning around. "Dude! I said not to make it weird! Calling me hot is the exact opposite of not making things weird!

Lance's pupils shrank as he must have realized what he said. "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean anything by it. Just the physical looks, nothing else!"

"That doesn't make it any less weird!" he countered, now breathing heavily. How could things be spiraling out of control so quickly? "Come on! I already feel confused enough as it is, don't gawk at my butt as if I'm just another female. I said you could look to satisfy your curiosity, not your boner!"

He thinks I'm hot, he thought, dizzy. My best friend thinks my cloaca is hot. What do I do? This is weird, right? Should I tell him to go? Ohhh, I shouldn't have let him look in the first place, I should have known this would happen…

"W-would it help if I thought you were hot before I knew you were a girl?"

Time seemed to freeze. He stared at the deeply blushing vulpix, unsure as to how to even begin unpacking that, let alone respond to it. 

"You… huh?!" Charlie flared his wings reflexively, feathers puffing out. "You can't just drop that on me like this! That's not fair! I-I—"

"S-sorry," Lance quickly said before Charlie could have a meltdown, "but I've held that in for so long, and seeing you bend over like that… I had to tell you! I've always thought you were cute, and handsome—or maybe pretty now?—and it confused me because I wasn't into guys. Like, at all. So I couldn't bring myself to tell you that I like like you."

Charlie's mind whirled with the implications. "You… like like me? Um. Really?" His tail feathers tried to rise again, but he shoved them firmly against his butt. Don't you even dare, you stupid body. "That's really… cool… and I'm flattered, r-really." Charlie stumbled at the look in Lance's eyes, and the way his eyes fell felt to him like talons had dug into his heart and squeezed. "I just... don't think I like you like that."

"Oh." Lance's ears went flat against his head. The talons twisted. "Okay. I… I understand. You sure you—" He paused, eyes clenched shut. "S-sorry."

Charlie wanted to scream. To peck and to claw and to hurt whoever was making his best friend hurt. Except, he was making his best friend hurt. He had broken Lance's heart, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Maybe if he had more time to mull over things, to figure out, well, everything then he could say the exact right words to make everything better. But he didn't have the time. He wasn't good enough to make it all better. 

There was something he could do, however. And as awkward as it felt, Charlie swooped in and wrapped his wings around his near-tears friend. "I'm sorry," he whispered to the trembling vulpix. "You're my best friend. I love you, but… I don't know. Not like that. I've only known about my, ugh, female parts for a few days. It's tough for me right now, okay? I can barely understand my own feelings, let alone someone else's."

"Y-yeah," Lance said, obviously trying his best not to cry. Burying his head into his plumage, he sniffled. "I get it, but I don't take back what I said. You're nice, and funny, and fun, I just want to hang out with you all day and t-talk or whatever. Maybe more, I dunno. I'm sorry, I know this is hard for you, but I want to be there for you. I'm rambling but I am nuts at this squishy talk... please don't hate me."

Despite everything, Charlie snorted. "I'm bad at this too, heh. And of course I don't hate you. I'm confused, that's all." Pulling back his wings, he stared into Lance's eyes. His reddened, puffy eyes. "Oh, jeez, are you crying?"

"N-no." A sniffle. "Maybe."

Charlie didn't know what to say. Again. So he went in with a friendly nuzzle. Something to comfort his friend, to show that he still cared.

Lance ambushed him with a kiss instead.

What. No. How. This isn't happening. Why is this happening?!

Lance's soft lips lingered on his beak for what felt like forever. It was awkward. It was weird. And yet, there was this strange jolt from the contact. It raced down his spine and made his tail feathers twitch. 

When Lance eventually broke the kiss—the vulpix blushing up a storm and apologizing profusely—all Charlie could do was gawk. For at least five seconds he stared; hearing nothing, feeling nothing, seeing nothing except Lance's moving lips, he just… stared. Mind blank and feathers twitching.

"You kissed me," Charlie eventually uttered, dazed from the experience. The tingle wouldn't go away. It almost felt nice. "I, uh, that wasn't as bad as I expected?" Charlie ducked his head at the admission, cheeks burning to the point that he feared they'd caught on fire. Which was honestly possible. 

Lance's face lit up. "Really?! I thought you'd be mad for sure! Did you feel the spark too? My older brother said there's this spark when you kiss someone you really like. And there was!"

Oh, jeez, is that what that was?

The memory of the tingle, the spark, lingered. "I think so? It, uh, was tingly?"

Seeing Lance's eyes brighten honestly was worth the embarrassment. His happiness made him happy. But no, that was just how friends thought. Any friend wanted another friend to be happy. It wasn't more than that.

Is it?

"Sorry I didn't ask," Lance apologized, scraping at the floor with a paw. “I just saw a chance and took it. Did it work? You sure you felt the spark? Or tingle? Whatever it was, It felt nice."

Charlie clicked his beak nervously. "Maybe… we should try again? Just to be sure. Is that okay with— hrm?!"

Lance didn't wait for him to finish speaking, and just like that, they were kissing again. Only this time Charlie wasn't so timid. With a shaky exhale, he leaned into the kiss and experienced the tingles in all their glory. Awkward as their mouths were together, the feeling of Lance's lips against his beak was wonderful. 

Am I gay? This feels gay. Or does being female technically make this straight? Ohh, who cares about the label, this is awesome!

Warm, wet, and enthusiastic, Lance's tongue prodded his beak for entry. He granted it, and Lance's eager tongue slid into his open beak. It felt weird. Very weird. He could even taste Lance's last meal. Some kind of berry. He couldn't concentrate enough on anything except their kiss to know exactly which. 

When they eventually pulled away, both pokemon were breathing heavily. As if they had run for miles in the snow. 

"Wow," Lance said, a droopy grin on his muzzle. "That was awesome."

"Uh-huh," Charlie agreed, dazed himself. "Your tongue was in my mouth. And it wasn't gross? And I thought laying an egg would be the weirdest moment of my life."

"Hopefully kissing me is more enjoyable than laying an egg."

Charlie hummed as if thinking about it, and giggled at the look Lance gave him. "Haha, ‘course it was! Seriously: you have no idea. Ugh. As far as first kisses go, that was a solid ten. As far as laying eggs go... solid two out of ten."

Lance raised an eyebrow. “Not a zero.”

“Honestly? I can imagine it being worse,” Charlie said. “At least the egg didn’t... break.”

They both winced at that.

“So,” Lance began, bouncing on his paws. Something the snowball always did when excited. “Again?”

“Again,” Charlie agreed.