Cooling Off


One midsummer’s day, a raichu lay alone on a typical cotton bed laid low to the wooden floor. His whole body splayed out on the firm mattress as his long, wiry tail curved to lay flat beside him. The heat drained much of his energy. He groaned in misery to the ceiling. He reached across to scratch beneath the armband bearing the emblem of his guild team: a bolt of lightning behind a silhouette of three claws. So immense was his discomfort that he failed to notice the footsteps of a fellow pokémon approaching the open entrance of the room. 


“Dash, what the fuck are you doing here?” An excadrill bearing the same armband walked into the middle of the room.


“Eat a dick, Rake,” Dash returned in kind as he lifted his head. “This backwoods town doesn’t need me right now.”


“We’re not earning any extra coin from fines if the both of us are here,” Rake pointed out bluntly. “Get up and start patrolling.”


“Fuck! Fine, I’m getting up.”


Dash peeled himself off the bed, his heavy body leaving behind an imprint on the sheets. As he shambled towards the door, fighting against a heatwave-induced stupor, the excadrill made his way to the smaller, adjacent bed close by to lay down. He preferred a dry place to rest over the raichu’s pool of sweat.


“How can you even work today?” Dash asked.


“A job’s a job. If that’s not good enough for you, tough shit. You should’ve been born an ice or water-type.”


“Like that fucking helps me right now,” Dash volleyed. “You know something that could actually work? Finding one of those types at the bar who’s up for a nice lay. I’d take a cute girl like that to help cool off on a day like this.” 


“Ha! First off, good luck finding an ice-type anywhere near this shithole. And second, water-types? Like they’d ever let you lay a paw on them. Get the fuck out of here with that nonsense!” Rake dismissed with a wave of his claws. “And don’t come back until your shift’s over.”


Dash headed for the exit. “Bite my ass, Rake,” he replied, as he left. Rake laughed it off.


*****


The heat of the day proved even more miserable for Dash while on patrol. Every step beneath the overbearing sun felt heavy and taxing as it cooked him and the ground beneath his feet. The inhabitants sought shelter indoors. As the hours of the shift dragged on, and his money bag stayed depressingly light,  Dash suspected the only reason Rake had even kicked him out was to hog the whole base to himself. And now the base was too far to walk in his worn state to chew the excadrill out for it.


After turning the corner on one too many paths devoid of anyone deserving a fine, Dash finally stopped to slap his paws into his face and drag them down his spotted cheeks. 


“Ugh! Fuck this,” he proclaimed. “I’m getting a drink.”


He dragged himself over to the local bar. Not too many pokémon came to this place in the middle of the day, so the moment he entered he received a warm greeting from the bartender buizel. “Hello there, Dash! Taking a break from work?” welcomed the water weasel, as the raichu pulled up a seat, alone at the counter while others loitered at the tables.


“What do you think?” Dash snapped back, as he fished into his moneybag for a single bronze. He slid it over to the bartender. “Give me the usual whiskey n’ berries.”


“Okay, one usual!” In a few minutes time, the buizel grabbed some berries from the shelf, squeezed them into a shot glass, and mixed the fresh nectar with a small pour of alcohol. Dash took the glass as the buizel handed it to him, raised it high to chug his beverage in one go, and slammed it back down. He stared forward at nothing in particular, lost in thought. 


“Did you even taste any of that?” the buizel prodded. He reached for the empty glass and began to clean it with a quick stream of water from the fountain and a cloth.


“Tell me, Harbor,” Dash began to ask. “You think a cute water-type would shack up with someone like me?”


Harbor’s eyes widened as he stopped wiping the glass. “Oh. Well, that just came out of nowhere. I like you, Dash, but not in that way.”


“I’m not hitting on you, idiot. I’m talking in general!”


“Oh! Uh, well then.” Harbor hurried to resume cleaning. “No offense, but do I really have to spell it out for you? You’re a thunderstorm on legs, and water-types like me can’t handle too many zaps.”


“Oh, come on. You’re telling me that’s not a kink?”


“I’m not going to talk about that.” 


“So you’re saying there’s a chance,” Dash pressed. “The right water-type girl could totally go for me.”


“This conversation’s over.” Harbor hurried off to put away the glass.


“Yeah. If I play my dice right, I can prove Rake wrong,” the raichu muttered beneath his breath. “I just gotta find someone cute and easy...”


Dash’s ear twitched as he heard the stool next to him pull out with a loud rub along the wooden floor. A diminutive, blue pokémon with smooth, wet skin and long, aquatic fins on the head and tail hopped upon the seat. The four-legged pokémon, about the size of a pikachu, reached out to lean her two forelimbs upon the bar counter while her hind legs balanced an uneven platform beneath. One of those feet was wrapped in a fresh bandage. 


“Hey, Harbor!” The mudkip reached into a money bag and slapped down a bronze. “Just a juice mix for me. I’m here on the job.”


Dash raised a brow in surprise at the new face in town. Surprise soon gave way to an opportunistic grin.  


“Spring? What are you doing here? I thought your brother Geyser was doing pick-up today,” Harbor inquired, as he served the mudkip a juice beverage in a tall glass with a straw.


“I came down to fill in for him!” Spring answered proudly. “I wasn’t expecting to hurt my foot along the way, though. You got anyone that can help me out with that cart?”


Harbor frowned. “Your boss just paid for the booze, not for transportation. Did you bring extra money?”


“Oh, um...well, shoot.” Spring drew a look of worry on her face as she dipped down to sip on her drink.
 
Dash silently gestured at the buizel with a flick of his head towards Spring and several raises of his brow. Harbor shook his head as subtly as he could, mouthing “No, don’t”. Dash promptly brushed off the warning with a rebellious smirk. Harbor dropped his face into his palms and walked away to serve another customer. 


“Hey. Spring, is it?” Dash said.


Spring turned to face the raichu whilst continuing to sip on the straw. “What’s up, big guy?” she asked.


“Name’s Dash. It’s been a slow day. If you need some muscle to haul booze, I’m totally game,” Dash offered.


“Wow, I wasn’t expecting help from a guild member today!” replied Spring, as her glass emptied with a quiet slurp of the straw. “Then we better get ready for a long walk. That sound good to you?”


“Anything you say,” Dash answered.
  
*****


“Acckfpfft!”


Dash should have listened to the bartender. The raichu’s suffering worsened the moment he strapped on harness tied to a cart full of the finest Land’s End Platinum spirits, freshly stocked by the employees at Harbor’s bar. Dash carried the great weight at a plodding pace, leaning not too far forward, lest he slip and eat a faceful of dirt. As Dash grunted and heaved from behind, Spring took the lead as she walked with a limp. She stopped occasionally to spray the raichu’s face with a quick but sharp jetstream of water from her mouth. 


“You’re a real trooper, Dash!” Spring complimented. “There’s no way I could’ve done this with the way I messed up my foot.”


“This cart... is fucking heavy,” Dash gasped. 


“Come on, Dash. We’re almost there,” Spring assured. “If we hurry, you can get back home before morning! After I pay you, of course.”


Dash thought he might sooner break his back. As he took step after agonizing step, his gaze upon Spring brought a sliver of comfort.  He still entertained lewd thoughts amidst his manual labor as the mudkip’s little tailfin swished back and forth. 


“Yeah. I could totally tap that,” Dash whispered.


“You said something, Dash?” Spring asked over the shoulder. 


“No, nothing,” Dash lied. 


“Don’t start daydreaming out here, big guy,” Spring warned with an unamused gaze. “What am I gonna do if—”


A sudden blur dropped from the canopy of the woodland path. Spring, caught off-guard, widened both eyes in shock as the big fist of a primeape slammed into the ground, missing her head by mere inches.


“Aaaaiiiie!” Spring recoiled and retaliated with a water gun blast, but all that accomplished was earn the downwards glare of the drenched primeape. She frantically hobbled behind Dash. Dash stopped in his tracks. At once the primeape hopped up and set his sights upon the raichu, now glaring down at him with fiery eyes. The oversized furball dwarfed both of the other pokémon with ease.


“Bandit!” Spring warned, trembling behind Dash for cover.


“Hand over the booze!” The primeape demanded, pounding his fists together as he spoke. 


Dash did the first thing that came to mind whilst staring down an enraged pig monkey twice his size: piss it off even more.


“Fuck you!” Dash cursed back. He slipped off the harness.


The primeape squealed furiously and charged. Dash pulled one arm back and primed the electrical pouches in his cheeks. Just as the primeape reached back to strike a blow, Dash leaped at the berserker with a spring of his legs, slipped past the attack, and drove an electrocuting punch right into the big pokémon’s snout. The primeape immediately staggered back, stunned by the counter-blow. Dash followed with a spinning swing of his tail and knocked his assailant down to the ground with one strike to the temple. 


After the primeape fell, Dash pounced and repeatedly punched the back of his attacker’s head as his enemy flailed about and squealed helplessly. Soon afterwards, Dash jumped off. The primeape raced to get up and ran into the woods. 


Dash’s heart pounded, and he collapsed to sit down, the strain of his body now catching up to his mind. He leaned forward and took in deep breaths. As the raichu recovered, he turned to see Spring utterly stunned by the outcome. She rushed up to stand before Dash, utterly bedazzled. Dash could see the twinkle in Spring’s eyes. 


“Oh my god! Dash! That was amazing!” gushed the mudkip. “I knew guild members had some oomph to them, but I’ve never seen it first-hand! you swept him away like nothing!”


Dash relished Spring’s adoration as he stood to cross his arms and turn his head with pride. “Yeah, honey, he sure was nothing. I eat guys like him for breakfast.”


Spring basked in Dash’s aura. “So cool...”


“You know,” Dash continued, acting as suavely as he could, “maybe I deserve a little ext-Acckfpfft!”


Spring cut Dash off with a stream of water into his mouth. “Dash, we still have booze to get to my town, remember? Cool off while you can. I don’t want you keeling over on me.”


Dash frowned and dropped his arms as he dripped from Spring’s fresh shower. He grumbled to himself and dragged his feet over to the cart. 


*****


Stepping into Spring’s town gave Dash an extra burst to his steps. The mudkip led the raichu carrying the cargo to the local bar, where the customers and bartender greeted the two with hearty cheers as they entered. Spring beamed from all the attention, but Dash couldn’t care less. He remained stone-faced after freeing his back and shoulders of the cart, even as the bartender refreshed him with a chilled glass of water. As soon as the two got their chance to slip back out of the bar, Dash collapsed against the side of the building. 


“Whoa, Dash!” Spring exclaimed. “Don’t keel over now! I haven’t even paid you yet!”


Dash lifted his head towards the sky and groaned loudly. “I don’t want to wear another fucking harness ever again!”


Spring propped up on Dash’s belly, casting an incredulous gaze in the raichu’s direction. “Come on, Dash. You’ve been an amazing guild member this whole trip, and now you start acting like a big baby?”


The raichu dipped his head, looking down as Spring leaned upon him and stood quite close between his big legs. 


“It’s hard to find good help, you know?” Spring continued. “So I’m glad you took the time to help me. So toughen up a bit longer so I can get you paid, okay? It’s a short walk to the bank, big guy.”


Dash frowned. “Honey, I’m drained as fuck right now. I shouldn’t go on much more walking until I’m going home.”


Spring looked down and to the side in thought, before snapping back to the raichu. “Well, my home’s along the way, but it’s not much. Maybe you can stop in for a breather while I get your money?”


Dash’s ears perked up. 


“That’ll work. It’s as good place as any to rest right now.”


*****


Dash immediately collapsed upon the bare, clay floor of Spring’s small, one-room hut, one of many that peppered the residential zone of the mudkip’s town. It proved quite spartan for a personal space, the sort that lacked the flourish of a sizable income. Spring headed out to the bank soon afterwards, promising to be back shortly. Dash spread out his body and stared up at the ceiling, quietly rekindling his hopes and desires as he got some rest.


“Hmm. She’s got to be into me,” Dash said to himself.


His tail swished along the floor in anticipation. He was going to rock the mudkip’s world, no matter how sore his muscles felt. A grin drew on his face as his fantasizing turned even more perverted than before. But his train of thought came to a pause on a question that didn’t dawn on him until now:


“Hey wait...Spring’s a she, right?”


He thought back to Harbor’s warning. That strong, shaking, silent “no.” In his efforts to prove Rake wrong, Dash completely forgot how different the bodies of water-types could be, even those that walked on land like a mudkip. Many of them lacked outward signs of their sex until the moment they were about to get it on. Was that what Harbor really tried to warn him about? 


That question in Dash’s mind drained the blood from his face. “Oh...shit,” he whispered.


“Dash? I’m back from the bank!”


Dash turned his head as Spring walked in carrying a fresh coin bag. He hastily plastered a smile on his face.  


“Hey, you look surprised. I told you I’d be back shortly!” Spring boasted. The mudkip trotted over and dropped the bag by Dash’s cheek. “I got fifteen bronze with your name on it, right here.”


“Uh, thanks,” Dash replied. 


A frown drew over Spring’s face. The mudkip drooped shamefully beside the raichu’s head. “Aww. Dash, I’m sorry. I know the guild pays you more. I just work for a bar, you know?”


“Don’t worry about it. It’s no big deal,” Dash tried to assure, but Spring wouldn’t have it.


“It’s a big deal to me. You’re too good to break your back for just scraps,” Spring replied solemnly. 


Spring’s eyes began to dart along the floor as the room fell under a nervous silence. The mudkip shuffled in place. Dash sensed she--or he--was mustering up the courage to speak in bolder terms. 


“H-hey, Dash,” Spring spoke up. “Want to stay for a little longer?”


Dash’s tongue kept still for a moment as Spring drew in closer. The mudkip brushed smooth, wet skin along the raichu’s pelt. Dash then felt Spring slide over the raichu’s outstretched arm. As Spring quietly snuggled against Dash, both pokémon felt their heartbeats quicken. 


Dash suppressed his panic as best as he could. “Uh, honey...that kind of rubbing might get you shocked,” he lightly warned Spring.


“I don’t mind,” Spring told him. The mudkip’s orange cheek nuzzled against the raichu’s shoulder. 


“You...don’t mind, uh...getting paralyzed?” Dash pressed.


“If that happens...you better pick up the slack,” Spring volleyed with a wink. 


At that moment, Dash felt his inhibitions collapse. 


“That’s up your alley, after all: taking cute little guys like me.”


Dash blinked slowly. He turned his head to the ceiling as he stared, his expression completely blank. “Oh, fuck,” he whispered.


Spring looked puzzled at Dash’s reaction. “Did I say something wrong?”


“You looked like a girl to me,” Dash admitted, still staring upward.


“What, really? I thought you knew!” Spring exclaimed. “Um...”


Spring started to withdraw. Dash curled his arm in response, giving Spring a soft gasp of surprise as he reeled the mudkip back in for a closer hug. 


“Hey...maybe I can be wrong just a little longer,” Dash told him, as he locked onto Spring’s eyes with a look of embarrassing need. “You’ve fooled me up to now.”


Spring’s face grinned with amusement. “Hehe! I’ll take that as a compliment. Sure, Dash. I’ll be your ‘girl,’” he teased.


Dash groaned. “Oh, fuck me.”


Spring laughed.


*****


Rake sat alone at the room’s lone writing table. The flickering light of a lantern illuminated his face as dim moonlight filled the rest of the base. Between his claws he held a bread roll that he munched upon idly. He stared at the entrance of his base, waiting for a certain someone to show up.


Soon, Dash stood at the entrance, visibly worn. 


“Well, look what the persian dragged in,” Rake mumbled through a stuffed face.


“Eat a dick, Rake,” the raichu replied. He shambled past the excadrill, tossed a coin bag to the side, and collapsed into the bed, sprawling his limbs every which way. 


Rake swallowed his bread. “You’re not going to tell me what kind of moonlighting you did today?” 


“No,” Dash shot back.


Rake chuckled. “So, Dash...”


He let a brief pause hang in the air. “How was Spring?”


Dash glared at Rake with a look that was a thousand percent done with the conversation. He turned away to get some sleep.


“I don’t want to talk about it,” he answered softly. 


“Oh? Tomorrow morning I better get some details,” Rake teased, “I never thought you’d go gay for a mudkip.”


“Hey, my way to beat the heat worked, asshole!” Dash exclaimed, throwing up an arm. Rake laughed it off.


The End