The Club - 01 - Discovery


At the edge of the city, in the fringe between seedy pubs and a crumbling industrial district lies a squat, brick building. Its battered walls, thick with gang tags would not shock you. Its barred and blacked-out windows would give up no secrets. You could be forgiven for dismissing it as nothing more than an empty shell, interchangeable with any of its neighbors, lifeless and inert. At least, in daylight.

If, however, you found yourself lost in the labyrinth of back alleys and decrepit warehouses late at night, when the shadows drape thick over piss-soaked garbage and shattered glass, you might find something different. The thump and rhythm of a baseline would be your first clue, rumbling in the damp concrete beneath your feet. You might catch glimpses of others wandering the narrow byways, slowly congealing into a crowd as you shuffle towards the source of the muffled beat. Rounding a final corner your destination would be revealed, a rowdy crowd hooting and cheering as neon letters crackle into blazing life above you: The Club.

(Continued in next image in pool)





The Club - 02 - Secrets Promised


You've been hitting The Club every few nights for weeks now. There's something about the place that can get almost anyone to cut loose, cast off their worries, and fly free till the sun comes up. It's as intoxicating as any of the booze at the bar, or the more illicit substances that circulate around the edges.

But secretly, in the back of your mind, you know you're chasing a simpler rush: the thrill of that first night, discovering something buried and secret, like treasure in the sand. Slowly, painfully, the thrill has lost its luster as routine has set in. Sure, it's nice to be a regular. The bartender knows your poison. The bouncers don't check the list. Familiar faces grin and nod in your direction, or slide up for a little companionship. But, at the end of the night, it's just another hangover. The old wooden chest came up mostly empty. The promised secrets were paper-thin. All that's left now is a vague sense of disappointment, and a hunger for the riches that were promised.

Apparently this has been written all over your face for a while now. The barkeep has been giving you an odd, introspective look as you brood over your spirits. You've had this conversation with him before. On the next refill you find a card under your glass. Silver letters on matte black paper catch the light and flash "VIP". You look up at the bartender, curious but confused. He smirks and jerks his thumb at the heavy doors set deep in the shadows of the rear wall, flanked by hulking bouncers. You'd noticed other patrons come and go before, but had blithely assumed it was just a back door. But maybe...

An ember flickers to life in your chest. Perhaps The Club's existence wasn't the only secret it has kept buried. Maybe you just need to dig a little deeper.






The Club - 03 - J, Underground


This place is huge.

You always thought The Club was a bit on the small side for how popular it is—just a dance floor, a bar, some restrooms and locked doors on the second story. Kinda felt like an intentional choice by the management to keep things cozy, but apparently it was really because the whole thing is a front for something bigger. The idea sends a thrill down your spine.

	It had been a little awkward, flashing your card to the bull guarding the VIP room. Or, rather what you [i]thought[/i] was a VIP room. He took the card without ceremony, flipped it over a few times, snorted, and ushered you through without a word. Behind the doors was a short flight of stairs, curling downwards into the dark of what appears to be a massive basement. Huge kegs hunker behind chain-link, harshly illuminated by bare, widely spaced, and entirely insufficient florescent tubes. There's only one way to go, at least without keys to the various gates, and so you shuffle forward through the dark. The air hangs close and humid, heavy with the smell of booze and ozone as machinery hums along doing god-knows-what.

	You pass through what appears to be the wall of the original basement, concrete block roughly knocked out to make way for a short tunnel, connecting to the basement of a different building entirely. A handful of furs in staff shirts lounge on a dilapidated sofa, somewhere in the middle of a low-stakes poker game by the look of things.

	You recognize one of them as he glances up and gives what can only be described as a wolfish grin, pun accurate in both description and species, but unintended. You mentally kick yourself for the mildly racist characterization. A crooked nametag stuck to his broad chest reads simply "J".

	"Yo! Wondered how long it would be before you made it down here! Who dropped you a card? Scratch? Teeto?"

	"Uh, Chester."

	"Ha! I knew it! Old rack-for-brains always did have a soft spot for the loner. Pay up, losers."

	The table grumbles and swaps small wads of cash as J retrieves his winnings and heaves himself out of the old couch.  "Took you long enough. I'm down a K on account of you not being here two weeks ago."

	You mutter something vaguely apologetic before J laughs, raps you on the sternum and ushers you forward with an arm around your shoulders. Apparently he's the touchy type.

	"Ah, don't sweat it. I'll make it up tonight. But first, let's get what you came for. I assume Big C didn't spill a word of what to expect, did he? Nah, 'course he didn't. Stickler for the rules, that guy. But hey, going in blind is more fun anyway."

	J drops his arm as you arrive at another heavy door, this one bouncer-free. He pulls a jangling set of keys from his belt and files through them as he fixes you with a serious, all-business look. It seems out of place on his jovial face.

	"Now, I won't spoil the fun, but I do gotta warn you. By now you've probably put two and two together and figured this ain't your average shindig, and you'd be right. It's special, see? But to keep it that way you don't speak a word of this to nobody, and I mean [i]nobody[/i]. Doesn't matter if it's your dying grandma, your best friend from preschool, or your deaf-mute hairdresser. And that goes triple for the fuzz. What's through these doors is for card-carrying vips only. You break that rule and it doesn't end well for you, got it? And I'm deadly serious about that."

	You nod, your mouth a little dry from excitement and maybe just a twinge of fear. J's hard pivot from packmate to predator was a good shtick. A true showman. You give him your best mental golf-clap as he finds the key he was after and unlocks the door. Beyond is a surprisingly sterile hall, lined with lettered doors and old linoleum. It... wasn't what you were expecting, that's for sure. But what else about this night is new?

	"Alright, you're in, uh, looks like B. Head on in, settle down, and the doctor will be with you shortly." J's wicked grin is the last you see of him as you enter the designated room and watch the door shut behind you.

	




The Club - 04 - The Exam, Pt. 1


There wasn't a chair to be found in the room, and you'd given up on standing ten minutes ago. That left the examination table, and after your pride had surrendered to your aching feet you'd dutifully plopped down to fill the role of patient. The waiting had left you with plenty of time to puzzle over what the game was, exactly.

	At first you'd thought that it was an escape room. That would be disappointingly pedestrian. But when you'd tried the door it opened without a problem, and there didn't seem to be any puzzles laying around, so that was out for now.

	Honestly, everything seemed to be exactly as it appeared: a perfectly normal, if low-rent doctor's office. The desk and cabinets were stocked with supplies, the hand sanitizer was partially filled and functional, hell, even the hard surfaces had that slightly tacky feel of having been scrubbed down with antiseptic. The only bit of incongruity was the fact you had been ushered in through a series of locked and guarded doors, deep underground.

	After a while your imagination starts to get the better of you, proposing increasingly outlandish scenarios. The latest was that this was some sort of organ harvesting facility and like a complete moron you had walked yourself right into it. No one could hear your screams down here, and you had almost talked yourself into building a makeshift weapon when the sound of someone walking down the hall breaks through your paranoia. No more time. If they want your organs, seems like they'll get them.

	Following the theme of the night, the door opens to reveal something you didn't expect. Rather than a rippling mass of muscle ready to strap you down and gut you like a fish (dammit, sorry fish people), a delicate feline girl wearing an old-fashioned nurse outfit appears.

	"Sorry to keep you waiting! Busy night." She flashes you a beaming smile as she walks over to the cabinets and starts rummaging around. She glances back in your direction and reads the tension all over your body. "Relax! Just lay back and we'll be done in a jiffy, 'kay?"
	
	You start to feel a bit foolish, if no less perplexed. A fierce internal debate rages for a few seconds before you do as you're told and lay back on the exam table. The girl seems too petite to be an immediate threat, though you keep a close eye on her as she continues to lay out supplies. Is this a sex thing? The outfit definitely suggests it. But the way she moves with a purpose and the very genuine medical supplies seem out of place with simple roleplay.

	Then she bends over to pull something from the lower cabinet and gently raises her tail. Yep. Gotta be a sex thing. Jesus, how young is she? Early twenties? She finishes arranging her items on a tray and walks over to you.

	"All set? I just need your arm to start." She holds out a paw expectantly. You hesitate, still wary of... whatever this is.
	
	"So, uh, I have some questions."
	
	She smiles gently and shakes her head. "Sorry, I'm not allowed to say much."
	
	"What can you say?"
	
	"Well, I can say that before we continue we need to run a few tests. It's standard procedure for everyfur."
	
	"What kind of tests?"
	
	"A blood test first, so I'll need to draw a vial or two, then some swab tests, and a quick physical. Nothing too demanding, I promise."
	
	"I don't think I'm comfortable with you injecting me with anything."
	
	"No injection." She pulls two vials from her tray and holds them up between her knuckles, shaking gently. "See? Empty. Your blood goes in, nothing comes out. You're not afraid of a little blood, are you?"
	
	"Generally speaking, I prefer it when it stays inside."
	
	She laughs musically. "Well I only need a little and then we can move on, okay?"
	
	"And I assume if I say no then it's back the way I came?"
	
	She looks at you softly, tilting her head to the side and nodding in an almost apologetic way. "Mhm." Her paw remains upturned, waiting for you.
	
	You should back out. Everything about this is weird. No sensible person would agree to this. These are the thoughts that should be screaming through your head. Apparently you aren't a sensible person. You pause a moment and then extend your hand to her, palm up. She beams.

	"Good choice." She takes your hand, her warm finger pads trailing gently up and down your arm, turning it left and right as she probes for a vein. She leans down and lifts an arm support into place, locking it in with a click. She slowly traces a line down the inside of your bicep and looks up at you, locking eyes before speaking quietly. "Make a fist for me?"

	You do so, and are only mildly disturbed when she gently pulls a strap over your wrist, locking it in place. Antiseptic, rubber tube, and the soft pinch of a needle jab follow in short order.
	
	"One down, one to go!" She rolls her tray to your other arm, raises the armrest, and holds out her paw. You know this is a bad idea. There's no good reason to pull from both arms, and she has quite intentionally left the first wrist locked in place.
	
(Continued in next item in pool)





The Club - 05 - The Exam, Pt. 2


[i](continued)[/i]

Fuck it. Not like you were doing anything better with your life anyway. You offer your free arm and she rewards you with her soft smile and decidedly firmer wrist strap. The second blood draw continues without incident.
	
	"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
	
	"Not yet."
	
	She giggles. "Thinking about the straps?" You nod and she covers a smile with her paw. "Don't worry. They're just for fun. Mostly." Before you can think too much about that, and without further ceremony, she begins to unbutton her blouse, shrugging it free and letting it bunch around her waist. She leans in, swings a leg over and straddles you, her short skirt sliding up her thighs provocatively. She settles her surprisingly light weight into your lap, and you feel her warmth radiate through your jeans.
	
	"Swab time. Say ah." Too flabbergasted to do otherwise, you obey. Her soft paw pads caress the outside of your cheek as the swab traces delicate lines along the inside. Over far too quickly, she places the swab into a sample tube and then leans in close. Her whiskers tickle your face as she whispers in your ear.
	
	"Physical." Her paws roam down your chest, sketching little circles as they go, running out to your sides. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, she begins to rock her hips against yours, her little muzzle against your ear as she makes soft, breathy sounds. Her paws roam lower, following your belt line until they meet over the buckle and slowly begins to unlatch the clasp.
	
	Her voice hitches as she whispers. "I hear you like secrets. Is that true?" You mumble something in the affirmative and she giggles again. "Want to hear mine?" 
	
	The belt clasp is undone, the button of your jeans follows suit, and then you feel the zipper slowly pulled down against your pelvis all the way to your crotch. A little paw worms its way into the space between your underwear and hers, caressing, stroking, probing. Sharp little teeth nibble your earlobe for a moment before she continues.
	
	"If I tell you, you have to promise to answer my questions. And it has to be the truth. Would you do that for me?" You begin to nod, grunt as her fingers stroke a particularly sensitive spot, and nod again. You feel her cheek tighten into a smile as her hands move up to clasp your shoulder blades for purchase, her hips rolling harder against you.
	
	"Questions first. If I was twenty three, would you fuck me? Right now?" Her claws dig into your back, not quite enough to break the skin, but close. God it feels amazing. You nod. She grins.
	
	"What if I wasn't twenty three? What if I was nineteen? Would you still fuck me?" Another nod. Stronger. She moans softly.
	
	"What if I were sixteen? What would you do to me then?" You pause, your brain surfacing from the thick haze of arousal like a breaching submarine. What the hell kind of question is that? Of course the answer is no. You wouldn't do anything. You might enjoy the darker side of life, but you have your limits. She's... she isn't. She can't be serious. She notices your pause and stops moving, her body resting softly against your own. She whispers again, quieter this time.
	
	"Only the truth. You promised."
	
	Fuck. What even is the truth? Your head says no, but you've also got the hottest little kitten you've ever seen sitting in your lap, dry humping you like a pro. Her soft, small breasts are pressed against your shirt and you can't tell if the thundering you feel is your heart or hers. Is this a test? What happens if you fail? You're strapped to a chair like an idiot. Maybe organ harvesting isn't off the table yet.
	
	"You're thinking too much. You only have to think when you lie."
	
	Busted.
	
	"I'm going to count to three. When I get there you're going to tell me the truth."
	
	This was such a bad idea.

	"One."
	
	Shit.
	
	"Two."
	
	Shitshitshit
	
	"Three."
	
	"Y-yes."
	
	She quivers. "Yes what?"
	
	"Yes, I'd... have sex with you."
	
	Her thighs clench and her body goes rigid as a damp warmth spreads over your crotch. Holy hell, did she just-
	
	"What... what if I were fourteen?"
	
	Jesus.
	
	"...I'd fuck you." Less hesitation this time.
	
	She resumes humping, her whole body shivering.
	
	"Would you fuck me if I were ten?"
	
	"Yes." This is so fucked up.
	
	"Seven?" Her thrusts are short and urgent. You aren't going to last much longer.
	
	"I'd fuck you if you were five."
	
	Her back arches, lifting her chest free of yours as she squeals and jerks her hips with abandon, absolutely soaking both of your unmentionable. It's all you can take. You cum ferociously and return the favor, coating her panties and the inside of her skirt, right through your briefs. The world fades out as you feel her slump against you, twitching and giggling.






The Club - 06 - A Wonderful, Terrible J To Die


Familiar voices are engaged in conversation as you slowly come to. You try to lift your groggy skull off the table, only to discover a new strap tightened down across your forehead. Concerning. Not the best development to wake up to. It seems your ankles are also bound. Lovely. Totally not panicking though. Nope. This is fine. All in good fun, nothing to worry about. Ha-ha, good times.

"Jesus. Didja kill 'em?"
	
"Only in the best kind of way. I don't dabble in your department."

Okay, maybe panicking just a little. At least you aren't blindfolded. You manage a peek at the doorway where J and your crazy little nurse are talking. She appears to be stuffing your soaked underwear into a medical waste bag. That would explain the draft down below. J sighs and digs out a roll of bills.

"How low'd he go?"

The kitten smirks and holds up a single paw, wiggling the digits.

"Five!?!" J snaps his head in your direction and you hastily shut your eyes. "Sick fuck."
	
"He might have gone lower, but I couldn't."
	
Another sigh, followed by the sound of bills peeling off a roll, one by one.
	
"There go my chances of making up that K tonight. Take it, ya little bloodsucker."
	
"Pleasure doing business with you!"

"Yeah, yeah. Now scoot. I'll take care of the rest."

"Thank you Jaaay!"

Her voice is sing-song and taunting as she pads away, closing the door behind her with a click. Now it's just you, strapped to a table with your delicates airing out, and a frighteningly muscular wolf. Apparently this is how you die. But damn, what a way to go.

"I know you're awake."

Fuck.

"...Is it too late to turn around and head back upstairs?"

You open your eyes to find most of the lights out and J looming over you. You never heard him move. His face is taught with rage, but his voice is flat and icy.

"Way too late, buddy."

You swallow. "So... what happens now?"

"Well," J pulls a butterfly knife from the small of his back and flicks it open. An inlay of silver crosses glint in the low light. "You're not gonna like it. There's just one thing I gotta know first."

The point of the blade drags down your chest, skipping and drawing trickles of blood, just enough to tease what's coming. You wince. It skitters down, down, past your hip to your thigh, as J walks towards the foot of the examination table.

"Was it worth it, sicko? Didja get whatcha came for?" He rounds the corner and begins to drag the knife back up your leg.

You're stupid. So stupid. But not stupid enough to think you can talk your way out of this. Not now.

It's a funny thing, accepting that you're going to die horribly because of your dumb-ass choices. There's a weird sort of clarity. A peace. It probably helps that the rest of your life was so achingly pointless that you're not really losing much. Makes it easy to let go.

"Was it worth it?" You echo the question, letting it slosh around your brain. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Wasn't a good idea. Made a bunch of dumb calls. Got strapped to a table. But I guess I don't really regret it."

The knife is now making lazy little circles around your crotch, slowly spiraling inwards. Oh, this is going to suck. This is going to suck so very, very much.

"Did I get what I came for?" You repeat the second question, chew on it, roll it around as the knife point begins to tap painful little pricks at random. You can't even look down far enough to watch. Somehow that makes it worse.

"No. I'm not really sure what I came for."

"Seems like ya came [i]a lot[/i] for somethin'." The knife pokes at some crusty fur to make the point.

You chuckle. God, you're about to have your bits cut off by a psycho vigilante, and he'll probably feed them to you just to watch you choke, but you laughed at his bad sex pun. You really are fucked up.

"Yeah, I guess I did. But that's not really why I ca-, er, that's not what I was looking for."

"But you went for it anyways."

"Yeah."

"Did you believe she was underage?"

"I'm not sure."

"Did you answer her questions truthfully?"

You make a face and stumble over the response, trying to coax out the answer. The blade slips lower, ready to deliver a new coin purse to its master. J's muzzle slides next to your ear in a strange callback to your earlier debauchery, and he growls "you only have to think when you lie."

"...That's not quite right."

You feel J's wicked grin ripple against your cheek, heightening the deja vu.

"Then educate me."

"...You only have to think... when you aren't speaking the truth. But if you can't speak the truth because you don't know it, that doesn't make it a lie." 

The smile hangs frozen for what feels like a long time. It becomes indistinct, rendered vague by the lack of new sensations. You open your eyes. You're not really sure when you closed them. You can't see J any more. Didn't hear him move. But there's a heavy silence in the dark that tells you he's close.

"Interesting theory." The voice is below you. He's crouched between your thighs, under your sight-line. "I'll have to pass it along."

Cold metal bites into tender flesh. No one will hear you, but it doesn't matter. You scream.






The Club - 07 - An Unlikely Pair


[i]Earlier that day, across town...[/i]

"I'M SO! FLIPPING! HORNY!"

You kick an empty beer can for having the audacity to stand in your way.

"FLIP! FRICK! ButtpusssuckpooFRICK!" You rattle through every minced curse your friend's delicate bunny ears can tolerate as she catches up to you, clearly uncomfortable with even the baby versions of such bad words.

"Shh! Somefur will hear you!"

"So? Maybe I want them to! Bunch of stuck-up pricks." You pantomime standing at a pulpit, your face slack and your nose in the air. "Children, you must be ever-vigilant against the ten tations, for [b]THE DEVIL[/b] is always watching! Walk only the path of riot us-ness, otherwise you might have some fun."

You kick another can. This one is apparently half-full, its contents spewing everywhere, including all over the shiny black boots you spent three months mowing yards for.

"SHIT!" You crouch down, trying to wipe the booze away before it ruins the finish. Ugh. It smells like your dad and day-old piss.

A soft white rabbit paw lowers into your periphery, offering a lacy square of cloth. You almost laugh, but catch yourself.

"You carry a hankie? Dam- darn, I thought they only did that in boring old movies."

You reach for the cloth but stop half way, looking back at your beer-soaked boots and then up at your friend.

"It will get all dirty."

She smiles that fluffy little smile of hers as she kneels down beside you and starts wiping at the mess. Apparently the alcohol loosened the polish, and you're not sure if you're more horrified about it dulling the shine or the black-as-sin stains that appear on the handkerchief and your friend's paw fur.

"That's what it's for, silly." She dabs gingerly, taking care to chase every drop and wipe each riveted, triple-stitched seam. You've got no clue how to react, so just sit there like a dumb-ass and let her finish.

"There. All done." She folds the hankie carefully and tucks it into her pocket. You can just imagine the booze and boot polish soaking into her pale, pastel dress, and it hammers the spike of guilt just a little deeper into your chest.

"Th-Thanks."

"You're welcome! It's what Jesus would do."

You stand and cough, desperate to change the subject, but only make it half way.

"I, uh, still can't believe you got me to go to [i]church[/i]. If the gang finds out I'll never live it down."

Another sun-soaked smile. "I'm so glad you finally did!" The smile falters. "Though, maybe it wasn't the best sermon for your first time."

You scowl and relaunch your impression, leaning into the ham. "Chastity is the seed of a healthy, loving relationship, children! It's a mirror of God's love for us! Sex bad! Marriage good! Bla, bla, bla." You drop the impression like a sack of bricks. "Bullhocky. God's fucked me over plenty. I ain't got no ring."

The bunny's ears droop as she winces. Your pang of guilt threatens to return for a sequel, but you crush it mercilessly. God can suck it. The bunny fidgets, clearly a little disappointed.

"Well, I'm glad you were listening, at least."

You shrug. "Said I would, didn't I? God might break his promises, but I don't." A lightbulb flicks on as you realize the perfect moment to spring your trap. "And now it's your turn."

The little rabbit looks at you quizzically, her nose wiggling as realization slowly dawns on her. "Now? But it's so late already! I have to be home by eight."

"Yep, now. It's why I picked tonight. You're not going to break your word, are you?"

OK, that might be laying it on a little thick. But dammit, you've spent months hearing Jesus this, Jesus that. Tonight you're both going to have some fun, she's going to learn about everything she's missed out on, and you're going to need every trick in the book to keep her from backing out. And maybe you need her along for the ride, just to keep from chickening out yourself.

You can see the moral quandary playing across her face. You thought it would be fun, making her squirm a little, but now you're just nervous. What's it going to be, bunny girl? Please say yes...

She sighs. "Okay. I promised. What do you want to do?"

You break into a victory dance and earn a fleet of little bunny giggles. You grab her paw, quickly establish your bearings, and start tugging her in the direction of the bus stop.

"Hang on to your ears, cottontail! We're getting laid!"

"...WHAT!?!"





The Club - 08 - Bus Stop Confessional


You'd been sitting at the "abandoned" bus stop for about ten minutes now, and Cottontail was finally starting to catch her breath. At first you thought you'd been a jerk and just run her too hard. Her legs are a lot shorter, after all.

But as you both sat huffing on the bench, trying to avoid the broken glass and gum, you realize that it was more than just the run that had knocked the wind out of her. She has that look she gets when you do something that makes her uncomfortable but she doesn't want to say anything. She's not looking at you, and her little paws are trembling. You're such an idiot. You hit her with too much too fast, and now you've got to figure out how to walk it back. Dumbass. Such a dumbass.

"You've, uh, been quiet."

She flinches a little at the break in the silence, curling up slightly and tugging at the hem of her skirt. She doesn't even say anything in response, just nodding from behind her hunched shoulder. This is going to be harder than you thought. You haven't gotten the shoulder nod in months. You lean back on the bench, slouching and spreading your arms across the back, trying to project an air of nonchalance. See? Nothing to be scared of.

"My big sis told me about this place when she visited us two months ago. I was being kind of a bitch. Er, more of a bitch than usual. To her, especially. But she took me to the arcades just like she used to, back when I was really tiny and Dad would get drunk. We got a pizza and just... talked, for a long time. Caught up. It was nice."

Ha! It's working. You saw that sneaky side-glance. She's curious. Easy does does it. Don't spook her.

"I think I didn't want to admit how much I'd missed her. And I was angry with her too, I guess. It got so much worse after she left. Worse with my dad, I mean. I didn't realize how much she'd been protecting me until she wasn't there any more. After she was gone I felt... I dunno, abandoned or something."

Jesus, pull it back. TMI. TMI.

You cough and lean forward, putting your elbows on your knees to get your face out of view. "I mean, I did alright. Toughened me up. Taught me about how the world actually works and what people are really like. But it was hard, you know? Being alone."

You get lost in the bad old days for a bit. Longer than you realized, actually. A little rabbit paw coming to rest on your own breaks you out of the spin cycle. You look over to find her misty-eyed, and only then realize that you'd been crying. What the fuck, eyes? Not cool! You hastily look away and wipe at your face. You're supposed to be making her feel better, not the other way around. What are you, five? Stupid eyes. Stupid face. Bastards. Traitors.

"Uh, sorry. I dunno why I told you that. Not your problem."

The little bunny scootches up next to you and puts her other paw on your arm.

"No, no! It's OK. I like hearing your stories. I don't think I've ever [i]been[/i] alone. Not like that, anyway. It sounds awful."

You chuckle, trying to regain your cool. "Oh jeez, that's such a bunny thing. I mean, no offense or anything. But man, when your family moved in it was like a freaking invasion. One morning you roll up and suddenly there's a million bunnies everywhere. Pretty sure Tyler and his knuckle-draggers thought you were here to personally take over his turf. Like you'd looked at a map or something and decided to take him on. Idiot."

Little paws tighten around your arm. "He was so scary! Our old neighborhood was herbivores-only. I thought he was going to eat us. We were all too afraid to walk between the trailers to see the other brothers and sisters, because Tyler might catch us. I think that's the closest I've ever been to being alone."

"Jackass. I remember that afternoon I caught him and his bone-heads messing with a bunch of you by the back fence. Made me [i]so[/i] mad. What kind of losers pick on a bunch of bunnies half their size?"

Cottontail screws her face into a scowl and drops her voice an octave "Hey! Jerk face! Leave them alone or I'll feed you that dumb shirt until you poop purple!"

You're taken aback. "You were there!?!"

"You don't remember?" Cottontail looks just as surprised. 

You scratch the back of your neck sheepishly. "Eh, to be honest you all kinda looked the same to me back then. I still get half of you mixed up. Makes me feel like a dick. I need, like, a yearbook or something. Plus I was kinda preoccupied with Tyler and his thugs."

She rests her head on your shoulder. "That was the first time I saw you. Up close, I mean. I'd seen you through the windows a few times, but you were just another scary carnivore that might want to hurt me."

Oof. That stings. "Guess we were both kinda blind back then."

"Yeah. A little. I was actually even more scared of you after you fought Tyler. There was so much blood and fur everywhere!"

"It wasn't [i]that[/i] much blood. I kept my claws in most of the time! Not like I was trying to kill 'em or anything. They just needed to be taught a lesson."

"Well it was way more blood than I'd ever seen before. After you chased them off I thought you might try to hurt us next. It was the most scared I've ever been in my whole life."

Jesus. Knowing that makes you feel like the scum of the earth. "Yeah, you all looked majorly freaked. I figured it was just from Tyler though." 

"None of us knew what to think. After Tyler ran away you just... left. We talked about it a lot that night. And then the next morning when we woke up you were sitting out in front of our trailers sunbathing."

You smirk. "Had to stake my claim."

"That's what we thought! Or some of us, anyway. We thought you were going to be the new Tyler. Everyone spent the whole day taking turns watching you, trying to figure out what you were doing."

"I could tell."

"We were so scared. Me especially. I watched you a lot. And then when we had to walk to school the next day you were outside before the sun even came up!"

"God that was such an early morning."

"We almost didn't go to school. But Momma slept in our trailer that night, so we had to."

"I remember. One of you stuck a head out the door—I think it was Timmy—and then you all poured out holding paws, one after the other. It went on forever like some kinda clown-car gag. I almost lost my shit. Had me cracking up for days when I'd think about it."

"I wish you'd laughed. Maybe that would have made it better. Made you less scary. I was so afraid. All of us were. We kept thinking we'd gotten away from you and then someone would see you following us again. We thought you were stalking us."

"For, like, a hundred bunnies running to school you were surprisingly slippery. I was impressed. You almost lost me a couple of times."

"And then you were there again on the way back in the afternoon! Every day!"

"Eventually got detention for that. Kept skipping last period to cover the gate."

"None of us knew what you were doing. Some of us thought you were waiting to catch one of us alone and then you'd do something terrible."

"You all watch way too many nature documentaries. That stuff will rot your brains."

"They will not! But, um, yeah, I didn't know what to think either. At least not until Tyler came back."

She cuddles closer. Bunnies. No concept of personal space. It was kinda nice though, once you got used to it.

"I'm glad you did what you did. It was scary too, but I don't think I would have ever felt safe if he came back to scare us whenever he wanted."

"Yeah. I know what it's like, being afraid of someone all the time. Fuck that shit."

"Really? I didn't think you were afraid of anything."

"Not anymore. But I had to learn it. I mean, you've met my old man. He used to be so much worse. I used to be so scared of him. He would hit my mom, and after she left he started to hurt my sister too. Eventually that stopped, but I never knew why. Not until she and I talked two months ago.
	
After Sis left and Dad moved us it started to get bad again. I didn't have anyone to protect me. It kept getting worse and worse until one night I finally stood up to him. That's when I learned that most bullies are cowards, my dad included. I was making dinner and he was drunk, like he always is. It was a bad day. He was really going at it, yelling at me, pulling my hair, pushing me around, slapping me. Lots of stuff.

There was this big chef knife on the counter. I picked it up and poked it right into his chest. Literally backed him into a corner with it. I just didn't care any more. I didn't care what he did, or what he called me, or what sort of consequences I'd face. I can't remember exactly what I said to him, but I made it perfectly fucking clear that I was done taking his shit, and if it meant going to jail for murdering him then that was fine with me. I think I even meant it."

You steal a glance down at Cottontail, worried telling her all this might make her scared of you. God, that would rip your guts out. But she just looks sad. You can take sad. Hell, judgement even. Anything but afraid. You clear your throat and continue.

"After that he stopped messing with me. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's still a total douche-bag. He's lazy, and a prick, and he drinks away half our cash. But now he knows that, between the two of us, I'm the one in charge."

You clear your throat again. You can't believe you're getting choked up over this. You beat him. You won. Take the W and move on.

"So yeah, compared to facing my dad, Tyler ain't no shit, even when he rolled up on you the second time..."

[i](Continued in next upload)[/i]






The Club - 09 - The Longest Ride


The rumble of a diesel engine breaks you from your reverie. An old bus rounds the corner and ambles towards you, belching sooty exhaust as it struggles along.

"Oh shit, here's our ride." You ease off the bench to stand on the curb, making sure the driver sees you in the fading light. Cottontail scoots to follow, wearing a puzzled expression.

The bus rolls to a stop, pneumatics hissing like a tired old monster making a threat display. Faded and flaking letters down the side read "Saint Ursula's School for Girls." The double doors swing open with a rusty creak and a portly canine stares blankly at you from the driver's seat.

"Card."

You pat at your skirt before producing a dog-eared and creased rectangle of black cardstock, three shining letters still managing a degree of dignity despite their age: VIP. The driver seems to consider a moment, looking between you and Cottontail, taking special note of her necklace as it catches the setting sun.

"She got a card?"

"She's with me."

"Not how that works, missy."

"Do I look like a missy? Fire will vouch for her."

This seems to spark something behind the driver's dull eyes. He scratches at the stubble along his drooping jowls, contemplating.

"That won't get her through the doors where we're headed, if you're trying to pull a fast one, and it's a long ride back."

"I'm not. We're legit." You match the driver's stare, trying to will him into letting you both board. Cotton loops her paw through the crook of your arm, uncertain about the whole situation. You can see indecision duking it out in the old St. Bernard's brain. Come on, come on... A young voice from within the bus breaks the standoff.

"What's taking so long? Let's go!"

The driver deflates slightly, apparently familiar with the heckler. He shifts in his seat to call back into the bus while keeping his eyes locked on you.

"Newbies!"

"Well let them on and get going! I don't have all night!"

The dog's muzzle opens to say something further, holds a moment, and then dips in resignation with an exhausted sigh.

"Get on."

You grin at the small victory, stuffing the card back into your skirt pocket while you haul Cottontail in with you. The doors shut behind you as the engine revs and the bus gets underway.

The air inside is musty and humid, a melange of sweat and musk from an untold number of furs. The rattling AC is apparently in a losing battle with the summer afternoon and the body heat of the occupants. You slide down the aisle, catching a few curious glances as you go. The back of the bus is unoccupied, thankfully, giving you a good vantage and a modicum of privacy. You brush some clumps of shed from Cottontail's seat as she settles in next to you, as close as she can get, apparently unnerved.

"Where are we going?"

"The place my big sis told me about: somewhere we can unwind and have some fun."

The bunny's nose scrunches in confusion. "At a girl's school?"

You chuckle. "Nah, that's a cover. It's an underground thing for cubs like us looking for a good time."

Cotton's eyes slowly go wide as pieces start to click into place.

"You mean, like... s-sex?" She barely manages the three-letter-word.

"Other stuff too, but yeah."

You can see the panic starting to take hold of the little rabbit. Shit. Not how you wanted this to go. You were hoping to break the idea to her gently at the bus stop, but you got all caught up in the past.

"Hey, easy, don't worry. Sis' told me all about it. Er, well, some stuff about it. It's secret so she couldn't tell me everything, and I'm not even supposed to repeat some of it, but it's cool, I promise."

Oh yeah, that's real reassuring. Well played, doofus. The bunny leans in closer, shooting glances at the oblivious driver.

"Cherry, didn't you hear the Father at Mass tonight? That's sex trafficking! These are the furs the Church is working with the police to find!"

Oh here we go. "Nah, nah, not this crew. These are good furs. They helped my sister out when she ran away from my dad. Gave her a place to crash, looked after her and junk."

"Did... did they make her... [i]do it[/i]?"

"Nah-" your voice hitches as you try to figure out how to explain what Sis told you. Cottontail picks up on the pause and hisses out a panicked response.

"They did, didn't they!?!"

"They didn't [i]make[/i] her do anything."

"But she did it, didn't she? Cherry they trafficked her!"

You start to get angry but tamp it down. Mostly. "They didn't. They just don't get all high and mighty telling other furs what they can or can't do."

Cotton's expression makes it clear you aren't selling this. Fuck, how do you explain?

"Look, my sister knows exactly what it's like to have somefur push her around. That was every single day with my dad, okay? This isn't that. They helped her get away from it. Did she bang some dudes? Yeah. Did some cash change paws? Yeah. But it was her choice, 100% of the way. She was the one who made the call. Not my dad, not some stuffy priest in a starched collar, not a bunch of creeps pushing her into it, [i]her.[/i] She told me so herself, and I believe her."

You can tell Fluffbutt isn't convinced, but is also struggling to come up with a counter-argument.

"Maybe they tricked her? We're too little, Cherry! Bad furs trick girls like us into this stuff."

You snort. "No fur makes me do something I don't want. You know that better than anyone. I'm here to get some dude's big fat dick because I want it. Nobody tricked me into that. Furs are tricking [i]you[/i] into thinking you can't make decisions, so they can turn you into a perfect little rule-following zombie."

Cotton looks hurt, and surprisingly angry. You see tears form at the corners of her eyes before she turns her head and scoots away, putting a good half meter between you. You're shocked and confused by the strength of her response. You've never even seen her annoyed, much less angry. But more than that, the physical distance feels like something between you has been violently ripped away. She doesn't look at you as her voice comes out choked and squeaky.

"I promised to come, so I will. But that's all I'm going to do, and then I'm going home. The Father was right. You're a bad influence. I shouldn't spend time with you."

It's like getting body-slammed to the pavement. Your breath is just... gone. You don't know what to say. Can't say anything even if you wanted to. So you ride in silence. Alone.





The Club - 10 - Conflict and Interest


You startle slightly as you round a blind corner in the dingy, poorly lit tunnel and bounce off a group of cubs headed in the opposite direction. They go wide-eyed for a moment before recognizing you.

"Oh! Sorry, Ms. Sapphire!"

You smile gently, smoothing your nurse outfit and checking the cub you'd bumped into. 

"It's alright. Just be careful. I keep telling maintenance that we need more light down here. Not everyfur has good nightvision."

You usher the cubs along and they continue on their way, giggling and exchanging whispered conversation. The radio in your pocket chirps, followed by Theodore's rumbly voice rendered tinny by the small speaker.

"T3 to S5."

You lift the radio to your cheek and thumb the transmit button. "S5. Go ahead T3."

"Got a VIP at gate six, feline, female, black fur, red mohawk. She's attempting to enter with a cardless bunny, female, white fur, blonde. Feline mentioned you by nickname. Said you'd vouch for the rabbit."

A small surge of adrenaline hits you. So tonight's the night, then.

"Admit them both to intake. I'll be there shortly, thank you."

"Copy."

You map the route to gate six in your head. Decent ten minute walk from here. You turn around and head back the way you came.

The shoes came off at the halfway mark. They complete the look, but god they're uncomfortable. You carry them by the heels as you pad silently through gate six intake. The free-standing, curtained exam bays look a bit lonely in the old warehouse, cobwebbed rafters lost in the dark high above. You peek through the curtains of a few of the lit bays as you wander, nodding and smiling to the other staff on processing duty as you pass.

You're almost ready to ask somefur if they've seen a feline and rabbit when you hear a quiet, but clearly emotional conversation coming from the next lit enclosure. Instinct kicks in as you slink up to the mostly shut curtains, trying to get a view through the gap, trusting the difference in illumination to render the occupants mostly night-blind.

"I'm sorry. Really. I fuc- fudged this one up really bad. I didn't mean it to go down like this. I was going to tell you everything before we got on the bus, but I got all caught up in... everything. Please say something. I didn't mean to call you a zombie. I don't even know why it made you so mad. I've said way worse stuff."

You see a small bunny with a cross necklace sitting in a cheap folding chair, deliberately looking away from the crouched feline holding her paws. The rabbit has clearly been crying, though at the moment it appears to be reigned in. Her silence persists, but the expression on her face makes it clear that she's anything but stoic about the matter. The mohawked kitten continues.

"This was supposed to be fun, for both of us, not just me. I wanted it to be special. You're always so buttoned up. I wanted to show you the world is bigger than your church. There's a lot of awful stuff out here, but there's some great stuff too, and I want to share it with you. I swear I never meant to force you, and I never, [i]ever[/i] wanted it to scare you. You know I'd never let anyfur hurt you, right? They'd have to kill me first, and then they'd have to kill my ghost after I came back to haunt their ass."

The bunny lets out a choked laugh and wipes at a tear that made it through her defenses, barely maintaining her composure and silence. The kitten scoots a little closer, gently rubbing her thumb pads over the bunny's knuckles.

"We can go home. I should've known this was way too much. I'm a dumbass. Just don't shut me out. It's killing me. I know I've never said it, but you're my very best friend. Don't hate me because of one stupid mistake. Please."

The little rabbit's defenses start to crumble as she dips her head and the tears start to flow again. You can barely hear her choked reply.

"I don't hate you."

"Then tell me how to fix whatever it was I broke."

The bunny sobs again, reaching into her pocket to pull out an honest to god handkerchief covered in inky black stains. She just looks at it, laughing pitifully as the tears roll down her face. The kitten reaches up to brush the tears away and wipe at the bunny's pink nose. The rabbit protests weakly.

"Stop. I can do it. I'm getting your paws all dirty."

The kitten replies gently, with a lopsided smile. "That's what they're for, silly."

Apparently that was the last straw. The bunny breaks into hiccuping sobs as she slides from the chair into the kitten's arms. The two laugh and cry together, quietly, on the bare concrete floor.

You think your heart is going to explode as you wipe your own damp eyes. Oh, you're going to have your paws full with these two. You silently back away to give them a minute to compose themselves as you consider how to proceed.

Looking at things objectively, this is clearly a class one situation. It's exactly the sort of thing you're supposed to mitigate and deal with—coldly, if needed. The bunny is on the verge of corruption, the kitten balanced between light and dark. Things could go either way. Neither of them are a clear-cut case. You should let them make their own decisions. It's not your job to persuade, just evaluate and pass things along to others, if needed.

Only a monster could ignore that scene in that exam bay though, not to mention everything you owe Wire. You would have given the kitten a pass for that alone, rules be damned. But Wire told you, point blank, there was to be no special treatment of her sister whatsoever. She passes or fails on her own merits, just like everyone else, and bears the consequences. You're not sure you could have made the same request if situations were reversed.

Conflict boils within you. You pace, trying to reach a decision, but it remains elusive. If you wait much longer it likely won't be your decision at all. The cubs will do whatever they want and you'll just have to react to it...

Fine. Duty calls, then. You sigh and slip your shoes back on. Sometimes you really hate this job.

You ensure the click of your heels against the concrete announces your approach, giving the two a chance to collect themselves. You pull the chart from beside the curtains, take a moment to sink into your role, and slip into the room.





The Club - 11 - The Green Room Is Purple


Cherry's warm arms hold you tight you as you sob against her shoulder. Memories of bullies teasing you for being a crybaby flit around in the back of your head, but you push them away. It isn't hard. Feeling Cherry against you always chases off the things that make you sad and scared.

Well, everything but [i]that[/i], anyway—your sin. You don't want to think about that right now either. You just want to breathe Cherry in, the smell of her shampoo, little whiffs of leather and boot polish, even the faint smell of her sweat and the lingering tinge of her dad's cigarettes. It's all just Cherry to you. Pulling away from her on the bus made you feel like throwing up. You never want to let her go ever again, and that's your whole problem.

The click of heels against concrete take a moment to register. You feel Cherry's wiry frame tense before the sound breaks through to your own senses. Soft words of encouragement, whispered in your ear make your whole body tingle as Cherry stands, lifting you along with her. It feels like you're floating.

Papers shuffling somewhere nearby slowly brings reality back, like a dream just out of reach. Cherry lets go of you to wipe at the tears on her face, and the break in contact plunges you back into the dingy, makeshift exam room. You have just a moment to reorient before the curtains part and a silver-furred feline in a very short dress steps into the bay with you. She beams as she flips through the pages pinned to her clipboard.

"Hey you two! First time and you're already dropping names! Somefur sure knows how to make an entrance."

Cherry finishes collecting herself and turns to face the newcomer, her normal confidence settling back into place.

"Hey, you Sapphire? My sister said you could help us out if the bouncer gave us trouble."

"That's me! And you're in luck! We don't normally allow anyone in without a card, but it just so happens I have one for your friend, courtesy of your sister." Sapphire glances in your direction and produces a matte black card with shimmering letters on its face.

"Slightly out of order, but close enough."

Miss Sapphire steps over to hand you the card, but her expression changes as she gets closer. You can feel your cheeks warm as you realize you probably look like a mess.

"Oh, sweetie, are you alright? Did Theodore scare you? I promise he's a big softy under all that muscle."

Cherry steps closer, protective. It maks you feel a little better.

"It's my fault. I tried to make this a surprise and fucked it all up."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. This isn't her usual scene."

"Ah, I see. A little nervous, are we?"

Sapphire smiles at you. You're sure she's just being nice, but there's something about the smile the doesn't feel right. Maybe it's all in your head. You nod, trying to decide if she's a trafficker or if you should feel guilty about thinking that.

Not knowing should really be scarier than it is, but Cherry seems convinced, and she knows more about this stuff than you do. Plus, her line about haunting whoever tries to hurt you is still echoing around your brain. It was corny, but totally sincere, just like she is.

Sapphire is looking at you a little funny, almost like she was seeing something in your face while you were uncertain about hers. It's gone too quick to make anything out of it, and she's back to the almost-right smile.

"Well you don't have to worry those pretty little ears of yours. We only have a few rules here, but the most important one is that no fur is allowed to do something you aren't comfortable with. It's up to you, so think carefully. As a matter of fact..."

Sapphire holds up a digit as she steps over to some plastic bins, rummaging around.

"I don't usually start this way, but doing things out of order seems to be your thing, so we'll work with it. See this?"

She pulls out a bright red loop of leather and brass. It takes you a moment to realize it's a collar.

"As long as you're wearing this, no fur is allowed to do anything naughty to you. They lose their membership if they try, and we toss them out on the spot."

She hands the collar to you. Your blush deepens as you process the idea of "doing anything naughty." The surprising weight of the object distracts you a bit. You turn it over, revealing a large lump of brass at the back. It's stamped with a number just below a keyhole.

"There is a flip side, of course. You also can't do anything naughty to anyone else while you're wearing that, and until we finish processing your tests you can't take it off either. Break that rule and you fail your entrance exam. It's a safety precaution. Once you're clear, it's up to you if the collar comes off."

The idea of having a collar locked around your neck sets off warning bells in your head. The fear that these are bad furs tricking you into something ratchets up a few notches. But if miss Sapphire isn't lying it's also... nice? In a weird way? Sapphire pulls another collar from the bin and tosses it to Cherry.

"You get one too, of course, though I think you'll probably be less enthusiastic about it."

Cherry shrugs. "It's my color, at least. What kind of tests are we talking about, and how long before we pass?"

"It varies a bit, but I think there's a good chance we should know before it gets too late. I'll make sure yours get extra attention. Speaking of, we should get started."

Sapphire opens several more drawers, gathering supplies and placing them on a rolling tray.

"We'll start with a cheek swab. You fir- oh, sorry. I'm so off script I almost forgot. You know my name, or at least what I go by around here, but I don't know what to call either of you. We don't allow real names, so we'll have to come up with some nicknames for you."

Cherry steps forward and picks up one of the swabs, apparently eager to move forward.

"Easy. I'm Black Cherry, but everyone just calls me Cherry, and that's Cottontail. You cool with that, Cotton?"

You're not sure you like the idea. Only Cherry calls you Cottontail. Letting other furs use it feels like losing something special, but you nod anyway. Sapphire beams.

"Perfect! Nice to finally meet you, Cherry. And you too, miss Cottontail. Let's get started, shall we?"

-=\===============================================/=-

Twenty minutes later and you're following Sapphire down a dark tunnel towards a thumping, musical beat. A bandage is wrapped around your elbow and a red collar around your neck. You feel bamboozled. You told Cherry on the bus you would come with her, but that was all, and yet somehow you've gotten talked into a cheek swab, a blood sample, and... you can't help but blush as you recall the last one. You'd almost backed out when Sapphire described it, saying she needed to swab your... privates.

Sapphire had said that you didn't have to do it, and you could go home if you weren't comfortable, but it was a requirement to move forward. You could have just left. Cherry even agreed with her, at least out loud, but her eyes were begging you to stay. Stupid, creepy, nice, might-be-sex-traffickers. Stupid Cherry.

You feel guilty for thinking that, and apologize to your internal version of Cherry. You're just angry at yourself for letting her do that to you. Again. The Father's warning about bad company is playing over and over in your head. You don't want it to be true. It's not true. Cherry is a good fur, deep down. She saved you... well, you and your brothers and sisters, but [i]especially[/i] you.

You admonish yourself for thinking that too. You shouldn't try to keep Cherry to yourself so much. Cherry cares about your brothers and sisters too. Good bunnies share. Good bunnies share.

Something beeps and a masculine voice comes from Sapphire's pocket. She pulls a radio out and listens as she walks ahead of you in the dark.

"J1 to S5, you still at gate six?"

"S5. On my way to the green room now, escorting two VIPs. What's up?"

"Uh, special request. Need to discuss in person. I'll meet you there as soon as I can."

"Copy."

Cherry pipes up. "The heck is the green room?"

"It's an old term used by stage performers. It's a dressing room and a place to relax. We use it when we put on shows, but we don't have any running tonight, so it's a good place to unwind while we wait for your results. It's just up ahead, actually. And before you say anything, yes, the walls are purple, and yes, we should call it the purple room instead. It's a long story."

The music is loud enough to make out parts of the melody now, as well as occasional cheers and the background buzz of a crowd of furs. Sapphire pulls a card from her pocket and taps it against a pad next to a heavy door. The door makes a clunking sound and she pushes it open while beckoning you inside.

"Make yourselves at home."

The room is cozy, with couches and chairs nestled into various alcoves, as well as a surprising amount of clothing. Much of it is hung from racks bolted to the walls, but there are also haphazard piles strewn about.

Cherry pads in, running her paws down a rack of trousers and tops before stopping to give one a closer inspection. Sapphire lets you pass and brings up the rear.

"Sorry about the mess. We're a little shortpawed."

"Better than my room. Man, you've got a whole department store down here. Some of these are nice."

"Feel free to try on whatever catches your eye. I was going to recommend it, actually. We know first-timers often don't bring a change of clothes with them, so we provide outfits to wear while you're here. Things can get a bit messy, and trying to explain the smell and stains can get complicated."

Cherry snorts and you feel the heat return to your face. Sapphire notices, which just makes it worse. She smiles at you gently.

"What I said about your collar still stands, but I recommend you change into something else too, sweetie. You may catch some overshoot, even if you aren't the intended target and choose not to participate."

Your stomach fips, partially because the idea is gross, but some small part of you also finds the possibility exciting. The realization is disconcerting and confusing. You hastily push the feeling away, ashamed and angry with yourself. Nevertheless, you scoot next to Cherry to look through the racks.

"Take your time. It will be a little bit before we get your results. Speaking of which, I need to drop your samples off down the hall. I'll swing back when we're ready move on. Sound good?"

Cherry flashes a thumbs-up in Sapphire's direction while pulling something red, lacy, and see-through from the rack, appraising it thoughtfully. Your eyes go wide as Cherry holds the fancy underwear up against her chest, a lopsided grin aimed in your direction.

"Too much?"

You almost miss the sounds of Sapphire stepping out of the room as your brain stutters to a halt. There was a mannequin wearing something like this when Mamma took you and some sisters to get fitted for your first bras, but seeing it against Cherry, even on top of her normal clothes...

"Yeah, probably too much. Can't give away the goods at the very beginning, right?"

Cherry slides the garment back onto the rack while something inside you groans in disappointment. You're not quite sure what to do with yourself, so pretend to be very interested in the random top in your paws.

The click and scrape of hangers sliding around underscores a lingering silence. You hadn't noticed until now that the room is better soundproofed than the hall. You can still pick up on the music through the door and footsteps walking past, but your hearing is much better than the average fur's. The quiet is uncomfortable. You sneak a peek at Cherry and can tell she's also feeling awkward. You scour your brain for a conversation topic, but Cherry beats you to it.

"Thanks for coming with me. I'm... actually kinda nervous."

You're surprised, both by the fact and the admission. You feel like you've seen more of the real Cherry in the past few hours than the last six months combined. The idea that she's letting you peek under her shell floods your chest with warmth.

"Me too." You let out a strained laugh. "But you knew that."

"Still worried about this being some trafficking thing?"

You scrunch your nose up while trying to answer the question.

"Some. It isn't like I imagined it, though."

"Expected more creeps?"

"I guess? Miss Sapphire seems nice, but... I don't know how to say it. It's like she's pretending to be nice. I think she's hiding something."

"Like what?" Cherry makes an appreciative hum as she stumbles over something in the rack and tosses it onto the nearby couch.

The idea slides around in your head, smokey and insubstantial. "I dunno. It's just a feeling. I don't like how she keeps making me do things, even when she says I don't have to and I'm not sure I want to. It feels weird."

"Maybe it feels weird because you want to and it's not your usual thing?"

There's more truth to that than you want to admit, but it doesn't feel completely right either. You're pretty sure Cherry still doesn't understand the mess in your head, or why you came with her in the first place, which is both frustrating and a relief.

"Maybe." You toss two of your own selections onto the couch.

"Well, I'm glad you're giving it a shot, and that I'm not out here by myself. Ooh!" Cherry pulls a slinky black dress with a lace bodice from the rack. "What do you think?"

You look it over, the lace reminding you of the last item Cherry pulled from the rack. You still haven't quite gotten that image out of your head.

"It's really pretty. But it's a little small, isn't it?"

Cherry laughs. "Well, that's the point, but it's also not for me. Black on black? I'm trying to get noticed, not go ninja. I was thinking it would look good on you."

The dress suddenly takes on a much different aspect. "Oh! Oh, no. It's much too... much, for me."

"Pfft. Give yourself some credit. You'd look really cute in it! At least try it on?"

Cute? "I-I couldn't."

Cherry grins, hunching into a playful crouch while wiggling the dress in front of her, stalking towards you. "Do it! Do it! Do it!"

You giggle at the simple playground taunt. "Fiiine."

She tosses the dress at you with a smile before turning back to the couch, her paws on her hips like a general surveying her troops.

"Great! I think I've got enough to work with here." She singles out a pair of leather pants and matching top (both red, of course) before grabbing the corners of her t-shirt and pulling it over her head in one smooth motion.

Momentarily stunned, you stare at Cherry's silky back before she proceeds to tug her skirt down without bothering to undo her belt. Her red panties almost go with the skirt, flashing her bottom at you.

You spin around, heart hammering against your rib-cage. Leather creaks and hisses as it slides over fur, letting you know exactly what's happening, right behind you, even without watching. The adrenaline makes you dizzy.

"Unf. Tighter than it looks."

Imagining what might be tight, and against where, makes the world go dark around the edges and your body tremble. Cherry's voice changes as she looks back in your direction.

"If it makes any difference, I swear I won't laugh or anything. I really do think you'll look good in it."

That's the last thing you need to hear right now. "D-don't look!"

"Ah, sorry!" Her voice points away from you again, followed by a lingering pause and more leather sounds. "My sister and I shared a room, growing up. We played dress-up a lot. She had the coolest clothes. Always made me a little jealous. With all your sisters packed into those trailers I figured you changed together all the time."

It's true, you do change with your sisters, but this is completely different! You can't let her know that though, or you'll have to explain! You panic slightly and only manage to half deflect.

"W-we play dress-up too. Kind of. We don't really get any of our own clothes. We share."

It slowly dawns on you that Cherry can't turn around until you finish changing. It's impossible to back out now. You start with your necklace and bracelets, just to psyche yourself up. It's barely a reprieve. The dress has to go next. You hesitate, but manage to force yourself to slip the straps over your shoulders, accidentally glancing back at Cherry to make sure she isn't watching. She's facing away from you, just now buttoning up her pants, still topless.

"You mean you don't have [i]any[/i] of your own clothes?"

You snap your head back in the other direction. "N-no. Not unless you're the biggest and nothing fits anymore."

You drop your sundress. You can't believe you're standing in nothing but your panties with Cherry. You think you feel a little... damp... down there, and the realization triggers a wave of aggressive self-flagellation.

"Not even underwear?"

It's like she's reading your mind! You hastily unzip the back of the black dress and step into it, eager to get into something besides your unmentionables.

"Not really. We have, um, some bras that are kinda ours, but we share those too. W-when they fit."

"Damn. I mean, I got paw-me-downs too, but those were cool and they were mine."

You pull the straps over your shoulders and fumble for the zipper, absentmindedly quoting your parents' mantra.

"Good bunnies share."

Cherry snorts. "Well that's just bullsh- poo. After tonight, you and me are going shopping. I'm gonna buy something just for you, and you're going to promise not to share it with anyfur."

You stop fumbling for the zipper. The idea of getting a gift from Cherry that you can keep all to yourself makes your eyes mist over. Your voice comes out a hoarse whisper.

"You don't have to."

"I don't have to, but I want to, and you can't stop me. So there. Neener, neener."

Something warm brushes against your hip, causing you to jump and let out an embarrassing squeak.

"Sorry! Just helping with this." The zipper slides up your back, chasing an electric trill along your spine before Cherry lets go, the contact all too brief. You look down as you catch your breath, tugging at the straps, self conscious about just how thin the lace is.

"Well, don't keep me in suspense, Fluffybutt! Show me whatcha got!"

Your heart starts to pound again. You glance back over your shoulder. Cherry's standing there in a red bikini top, her athletic midriff on full display, completely carefree. She looks amazing. It makes you feel a little silly about being shy when you've got a whole dress on, even if it is a daring cut. You slowly turn around, hands clasped together at your collar. Cherry grins from ear to ear like a Cheshire, throwing both her paws in your direction.

"See! I knew you'd look great in it! Oh, wait! Wait right there! I saw something that would go perfect with that..."

Cherry hurries off to flip through a pile of clothes, the leather pants tight against her butt, leaving little to the imagination. You look away (eventually,) thumbing your necklace as a stand-in for a rosary.

"Here, put these on!"

Cherry holds out a pair of delicate, toeless stockings. Your blush returns as she leads you over to one of the couches.

"Damn, you really do look great in that. I should've kept it a secret. Nobody's going to be looking at me."

You smile and dip your head as you slide on the stockings, basking in the praise. Knowing that Cherry thinks you look pretty is almost more than you can take. You can't even look her in the eyes as your return the honest compliment.

"Y-you look really pretty too! I don't think I could ever wear that."

Cherry strikes a pose. "You're right. I [i]do[/i] look good in this. Probably. We should find a mirror. There's got to be one in here somewhere."

You giggle as you follow Cherry on her hunt. Eventually you find one, buried behind one of the racks, and haul it out together. Cherry throws her arm around your shoulders as you stand there, admiring yourselves and each other. Only then do you realize that between the black dress and red collar you're wearing Cherry's colors. It makes you feel... good. Really good. It's like you're showing off to everyone that you're Cherry's. Nothing has ever made you happier in your whole life.





The Club - 12 - Aches and Shames


A quiet beep and louder clunk of a lock disengaging announces Sapphire's return, her snout peeking around the edge of the door.

"Are you two decent?"

Cherry is slouched low in the couch beside you, her arm around your shoulder. You suddenly feel self-conscious about the position, like you've been caught doing something you shouldn't. You watch Cherry smirk, lift her chin, and shout towards the doorway.

"Isn't being indecent the point!?"

An echoing smile appears on Sapphire's muzzle as she steps into the room, carrying a pair of tan file folders.

"You might be surprised at the differing opinions on that one. I see you both found something to your liking?"
 
"Yep! Doesn't she look great?"

Sapphire appraises you with that soft, almost-right smile as your embarrassment returns.

"I haven't seen that dress in a while! I'm always interested in furs' fashion choices. Why did you pick that one in particular?"

You bury your paws between your knees and hunch your shoulders, feeling a little silly about the answer.

"Cherry... thought it was pretty."

"I thought [i]you'd[/i] look pretty in it, and I was totally right."

You look away, heart fluttering.

"And what do you think about it, miss Cottontail?"

Your nose scrunches as you look down, trying to rectify your various emotions.

"It's a kind of embarrassing. I wasn't sure about it, but I think... I like it?"

It feels a little strange to realize that. You hope Sapphire doesn't ask why, since all the reasons have to do with Cherry. Your reply seems to have made her more serious for some reason.

"As long as you're comfortable with it, that's what matters. Just remember what I said earlier: the first rule is that no fur is allowed to make you do things that you don't want to do. That means what you want is very important. You should think about it carefully, and state it clearly. You will get to make some big decisions down here—decisions that not every fur believes you're ready for—and some of them carry serious consequences."

Sapphire shifts her uncharacteristically intense gaze to Cherry.

"That also means, as Cottontail's friend, you need to understand her boundaries. There's a fine line between encouraging somefur to try something they might like, and manipulating them into something they aren't comfortable with. You mentioned earlier that you found yourself on the wrong side of that line once tonight. Make sure you don't make the same mistake again."

Cherry looks stricken. She opens her muzzle to say something, pauses, and then snaps it shut with a click of her teeth. You've [i]never[/i] seen a fur put her on her heels like that. Part of you wants to come to Cherry's defense, but another is grateful for Sapphire stepping into your corner.

"I believe you have Cottontail's best interests at heart, and you seem to have realized your earlier mistake, so we'll call it water under the bridge. Be aware, however, that we have ejected other members who were well intentioned but couldn't learn others' boundaries. Verbally pushing furs—especially young furs—into things they aren't comfortable with can be considered a breach of rule one, at the judgement of the staff. Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'm."

"Good." Her gaze returns to the usual softness. "Now, with that out of the way, let's talk about your medical results! It's mostly good news with a few things that you should understand before we continue.

"Let's start with the good parts. Neither of you have any conditions that would restrict your membership. To keep everyfur safe while they play, we perform regular tests for sexually transmitted infections, which is what the swab tests are for. If you come back after tonight you will go through those again. The bloodwork is primarily for other reasons, and that's where the mixed pros and cons come in."

Sapphire pauses for a moment, shuffling through the pages in her file folders like a student in class who doesn't want to admit they didn't do their homework. She looks at you softly, starts to say something and then stops, her expression unsatisfied and conflicted. She glances down to your necklace and something seems to slowly crystalize behind her eyes.

I notice you're wearing a cross, miss Cottontail. Could you tell me what you have learned from the church about heat, and what you believe?"

The question catches you a bit off-guard, but you're a good student and know this subject backwards and forwards.

"Well, um, heat started when Eve ate the apple in the garden of Eden. Heat was part of learning good and evil, and Eve's punishment for her sin. Since having heats means we can't control ourselves, God put men in charge. Adam's punishment for listening to Eve is that men have to resist our temptation and work harder now, because we aren't their equals anymore."

Cherry grunts and rolls her eyes, but Miss Sapphire shoots her a look.

"That's a good summary, thank you. And what about you, Cherry? It seems you have a different opinion about heat. Would you fill us in on what you believe?"

"It sucks when you can't get stuffed and fun when you can."

Sapphire lets a short chuckle slip free. "Succinct. I won't tell either of you what you should believe about the morality of heat. I have my own opinions, and I will happily share them with you if you'd like, but I want to set that aside for a moment and talk strictly about the science and facts.

One of the things we're doing here is studying heat. You've probably heard how furs experience heat differently, and some slang that describes it. Many canines get 'the howls', especially during full moons. Felines like Cherry and I will typically feel an urge to 'prowl,' other furs get 'spring fever,' or something similar. Your families may have used different terms, and there are many other types and subtypes of heat.

We took blood samples to test how you express and process the hormones and pheromones related to heat, among other things. I would like to discuss those results with you both, to give you an idea of how your bodies may influence your decisions. We can do that together or individually, whichever you're more comfortable with.

If you'd rather not know, we will destroy your records and you may remain in the dark, though we do not allow anyfur beyond this point without the information. How would you both like to proceed?"

Cherry leans forward on the couch. "Sexy mad science? Hell yeah, I'm in." She glances over at you. "But, uh, what about you, Cotton?"

Talking about heat is embarrassing. It's a sin, after all. But... if learning more about it helps you be a good fur then maybe it's OK, like the special lessons in Sunday school.

You're about to agree when a terrible thought occurs to you. The test might reveal more than just the sin you inherited from Eve; it might also uncover your special, secret sin. An icy pit forms in your stomach and the world starts to spin. Your reply comes out strained.

"H-have you looked at it?"

Sapphire's face does something you can't quite parse as she looks at you more closely. You try to hold down the panic.

"Your test? I have, yes, and I actually need to apologize for that. Normally I disclose this information and get your agreement before we take your samples. I messed up and failed to do that. It has been a long couple of nights, and I have been way off script. Despite that, I promise I won't reveal the results to anyone but you, if you'd rather not move forward. No one else has seen them."

Terror rampages through your brain. You haven't even confessed this sin to a priest yet, and you know that means you're risking your soul. It's stupid. You've almost confessed a hundred times now, but you never do, and you aren't even sure why. Now your secret might have been stolen, despite everything you've done to hide it. You [i]definitely[/i] can't let Cherry know. You don't even know if Miss Sapphire knows. You have to find out.

"I think... I want to talk about it in private."

Sapphire nods. "Of course. Cherry-" A knock sounds at the door, interrupting her. It clunks, cracks open, and you see a canine snout poke through.

"Knock, knock. You in here, Fire?"

"Jay! Perfect timing. You can come in. We were just getting ready to go over medical results."

A tall, muscular, grey wolf steps into the room. He's dressed a little like the fur who stopped you and Cherry at the door when you first arrived. His size is intimidating, not to mention he's a wolf, which is scary by itself. His smile is wide and genuine though, and his tail is wagging in a friendly way. He strides over to the couch and kneels down to get closer to your eye level. He extends a paw to you.

"Pleasure to meet'cha! I'm Jay, like the letter."

You hesitate, but shake his paw and almost tell him your name before you remember to use your nickname instead. Sapphire waits for Cherry to introduce herself before continuing.

"I could actually use your help, J. Miss Cottontail would prefer to go through her results in private. Would you wait outside with Cherry?"

"You bet. Though, I've gotta VIP of my own I could use a paw with, when you're free."

Sapphire raises an eyebrow and looks like she wants to say something before she just smiles and nods. "Of course. We can talk in a minute. Cherry, would you follow J outside?"

Cherry grins at J. "Oh, absolutely. Help a girl up?"

Cherry extends her paws towards the wolf, who chuckles and obliges. Cherry rises to stand surprisingly close to J, the top of her ears reaching only part way up his chest. She slides against him, towards the door, letting a paw roam over his arm as she slips away. You can't believe what you're seeing. Is Cherry [i]flirting[/i] with J? She just met him ten seconds ago, and he's way older! You swear she's walking different too. Her hips sway with each step and her tail is three times its normal size. She glances back over her shoulder with a look that makes you shudder.

"Coming, big guy?"

J shoots a look at Sapphire before following Cherry towards the door. Sapphire sighs as she turns to face you, raising her voice just before the pair leave the room. 

"Miss Cherry?"

"Yeah?"

"Please remember your collar."

Cherry looks down, towards the ring of leather she can't actually see, before glancing back in Sapphire's direction with a fang-toothed grin.

"Don't worry doc, I'll be a good girl, I promise." The door clicks closed.

You've never been less convinced of Cherry's ability to be a "good girl" since the day you met her, and that includes multiple instances of watching her beat bullies into thick paste.

You almost want to call her back and say you changed your mind about looking at the tests together, but of course that would be insane. You stew, angry at Cherry for being so dense and at yourself for being jealous. At leasts Cherry likes boys like she's supposed to. Why can't you be like that? Or why can't you be a boy so maybe Cherry would notice you? It takes Sapphire waving a paw in front of your face before you realize she was saying something.

"Are you with me, miss Cotton?"

There's a funny look on her face. Wait, what did you miss?

"Sorry! Sorry. C-could you say that again, please?"

"Of course. I was just asking if your parents have ever discussed heat with you, specifically?"

"Um... yes. A little bit? My sisters go to auntie Vera's farm when they run a... a [i]bad fever.[/i] Momma talked to me about it, when I got old enough."

"And have you ever had a 'bad fever'?"

"N-no. My sisters kinda make fun of me because of it, a little bit. They say they're jealous I still get to be a baby. Momma says it's okay though, some of my other sisters and aunties were slow to grow into it too."

"I see. Well, that correlates with your test results."

Sapphire sits down on the couch beside you and flips open one of file folder so you can see what's inside. It's a bunch of graphs and charts with tongue-twisting labels. You quickly scan the page, trying to find anything that says "probably likes girls" in big red letters, but you can't make heads or tails of any of it.

"Now, none of this is completely conclusive. Heat studies are still a very new science. That's why I'm going to ask you about your experiences, to make sure they line up with the data. However, if these tests are accurate, it suggests you are a very special bunny."

Your heart sinks and you can feel the blood drain from your face.

"S-special?"

"Yes. Most bunnies are like your sisters: they experience frequent estrus cycles during every season but winter. This works well for ferals, but it's a lot more complicated for us, and our heats have become a bit more varied.

Some furs experience very strong heats on a seasonal basis, other furs' heats are a much flatter curve. Some of them experience a low-grade heat almost constantly, and are always sexually receptive. Some have nonrhythmic cycles that are difficult to predict. This varies both by species and individual.

You're a different category, one which is rare in bunnies as far as we can tell. Your heats are not strongly tied to a cycle, like seasons or lunar phase. You aren't in a constant low-grade heat or have random fluctuations either. Instead, you have something called Arousal-induced Conditional Heat, which we abbreviate as A-C-He or ache.

Ache is a little more complicated than other heats. When a girl has ache there will be something situational that triggers it. The trigger varies considerably from one fur to another. It could be pheromones, a smell, something visual, sounds, touch, even abstract ideas or a combination of all these things.

Ache is something we're very interested in studying. We're only beginning to understand the biological triggers, but we've identified enough markers that we're certain it exists and can identify it with reasonable accuracy.

Your body's response can be very dramatic when something triggers your ache. It can happen quickly, flooding you with hormones that leave you in a heightened state of arousal. You will also release pheromones that may affect other furs. Both of these may linger or fall off just as quickly as they began. Does any of this sound familiar?"

A half-dozen memories flash past: Cherry holding you in the exam bay earlier, times she has taken your paw or let you snuggle up against her, how her smell makes you feel, even how you felt funny about her the first time, on that morning she sun-bathed outside your trailer. The more you think about it the more situations come to mind.

You can't believe you haven't put this together before now, and are kind of excited to learn you're not just a weakling who can't control herself around girls. You've been fighting heats this whole time! You were actually really worried about what your first heat would be like, since you were already so sinful without it.

Part of you is also all fuzzy over knowing that your connection to Cherry is so special it gives you heats, but you have no idea how to fit that in with all your other feelings. It has to be bad too, but the fuzzy feeling doesn't seem to care.

Sapphire has been sitting quietly while you were absorbing all this, and you realize you haven't answered her question yet.

"Oh, yes! I mean, I think so? It sounds right. I didn't even know that was something a fur could have."

"That's not surprising. Since this is uncommon in bunnies it's possible that no one in your family has ever heard of it, or perhaps a family member has been embarrassed about it or hidden it.

I suspect that some of your sisters or aunts may have ACHe as well, and that's why they were 'slow' to get their first heats. Ache seems to mature over a longer period than other types of heat, possibly because it's so situationally dependent. That does mean that what you've felt so far will probably get stronger over time, as your ache develops."

"It will get WORSE!?!"

Sapphire almost laughs at your unexpected outburst, but swallows it and places a paw on yours. Her smile is small, but full of empathy and compassion, and this time it looks right.

"Your tests do seem to suggest that you are under-developed, compared to a typical bunny your age with more common forms of heat. So yes, it will very likely get stronger over time."

The excitement over learning you've been having heats evaporates. You can't believe what you've already felt will get worse. It's already impossible. You lean forward and place your face in your paws. Sapphire switches to rubbing your back.

"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. This is part of growing up for every girl, and we will help you learn how to navigate it, I promise. Any time you want to talk about it you can come to me and I will listen. I won't think any less of you, no matter what you say."

You struggle to hold back the tears. Ugh. Such a stupid crybaby. You wish Cherry was here, and then immediately feel guilty for wishing that, knowing that the wish is doubly sinful. That reminds you about why you were worried about the test in the first place. You screw up your courage, yelling at yourself for wanting Cherry to come hold you. You wipe your nose with the back of your paw and sniffle, trying to forget about your dirty handkerchief and the last time you couldn't use it.

"Was... was there anything else in the test?"

"Not right now, though we are constantly learning new things and running new tests. I know learning you have ACHe sounds like bad news, but we're not just learning how to identify types of heat, we're also developing drugs and support systems to help furs with every aspect of their sexuality. Understanding your heat is just the first step."

You feel something un-knot inside your chest and breathe a quiet sigh of relief. Your secret is safe, at least for now.

It takes a second for what Sapphire is saying about drugs to register. Is there some sort of medicine here that could fix you? This was the last place you expected to find a solution to your problem, but they do seem to know a lot about... everything. The possibility kindles a few tiny embers of hope to life in your chest, which is something you desperately need right now. Maybe you just need to keep going.

"I don't mean to make you feel any worse sweetie, but the fact you have ACHe does mean I need to be extra careful with you tonight. Other furs who come here have more straightforward responses that are easier to predict. We can ask them how many heats they've been through, to understand how much experience they have with controlling the feelings, or we know they won't have such dramatic swings to begin with.

With ache you might not even understand what will trigger your heat response, or have enough experience to wrangle it. Because of that, I'm going to stick very close to you, and ask that you be very honest with me about what you're feeling every step along the way.

We do this for other furs who have limited experience with their heat, you won't be the only one out there with a 'big brother' or 'big sister' escorting you. I may even have to tell you no, if I feel your heat may be clouding your ability to make decisions.

I also need to ask you one more time if you're comfortable moving forward. This is the last stop before we hit the main floor, and you will see and experience things there that may make you uncomfortable, or trigger your ACHe. I will be right there beside you, and I promise to help you understand whatever you go through.

You should feel free to say no and turn around, but you should also be aware that even if you leave you will still bump into things that cause your ACHe to flair up, and at least here you have somefur to help you through it."

You take a moment to think about that. It does scare you that your heat will get worse, and you can't even depend on your family to recognize when it's happening and take you to auntie Vera's.

And, while you still think Sapphire is hiding something, all this stuff about red collars, heat, big sisters, special medicine and constantly asking if you are comfortable doesn't seem like what a trafficker would do. No one else has ever explained this much about heat to you, not even Momma or the special Sunday schools. You're starting to trust Sapphire, at least a little bit. Maybe you even like her. Not like, [i]like[/i] her like her, but as a... friend? Big sister? You're not sure.

"...Yeah. I think I'm okay with it."

"You're sure? I need you to be very certain."

"Yeah. I'm sure. As long as you're there to help me."

Sapphire smiles softly at you, and it's right this time, all the way to her eyes.

"I would be honored, miss Cotton. Now, let's go see if J had to tie Cherry up and put her in time-out."

You laugh, but it's swiftly followed by the realization that Cherry has been alone with J for ten or fifteen minutes, probably flirting the whole time. You stand and rush to follow Sapphire to the door, anxious and uncertain about what you'll find, but also surprisingly encouraged by what you've learned and comfortable with what comes next. Maybe, deep down, you're even a little eager.





The Club - 13 - The Floor


You follow Sapphire into the hall to find J just outside the door, chatting with Cherry. Her fur is still fluffed, and they are standing way too close to each other. Something dark and hot seethes in your chest. J grins in greeting.

"Hey! Wrapped up?"

"Almost. I just need to go over Cherry's results with her."

"Why don't you let me take care of that? Then you can help out with my VIP upstairs. Assuming you're OK with that, Cherry?"

Cherry's tail swishes against the wall she's leaning against.

"Sure. You can look at all my [i]results.[/i]"

Sapphire scowls as your paws clench. "Cherry, your toes are dancing on a very thin line. Remember your collar."

J chuckles as Cherry holds up her paws in mock surrender, a conspiratorial smirk putting the lie to her repentance. Sapphire sighs.

"Girls, would you give J and I a moment?"

Sapphire taps her card against the reader and holds the door open for you. Cherry heaves off the wall and follows you back into the room. The door closes behind you with a clunk and you're alone with Cherry again, somehow worlds different from fifteen minutes ago. Cherry immediately steps back to the door and places her ear against it.

"What are you doing?"

"Shh! What's it look like I'm doing? I'm snooping!"

She waves you over to join her. You can already hear Sapphire and J from where you are, but comply after a moment's hesitation. At least this way you can whisper to Cherry without being overheard.

"-can't right now, J. I've got my paws full as it is."

"Aw, c'mon, give me a little credit. I can handle two cubs for a half hour, and I've listened to enough of Doc's speeches to muddle through the heat stuff. Pretty sure I've got Cherry's number."

"You don't, at least not completely. These two are... precarious."

"Really? I mean yeah, Cherry seems like a troublemaker, but nothin' outside the usual fare? You know better than anyfur that I can handle troublemakers."

"She's Wire's little sister."

"Ho! Okay, yeah, that's a little more complicated."

"It's very complicated. They're a package deal. Where one goes the other follows. I'm sure you saw the cross?"

"Yep. What are we looking at?"

"She can quote doctrine like she was born to do it. I don't think she'd have ever come if it weren't for Cherry. She made the choice to move forward at each stage, but I think most of that has been following Cherry's lead. She's a good girl at heart, and this has been pushing her."

"Hm."

"There's more. She has ache. Early stages."

"Oof."

Cherry looks at you and mouths "Ache?" with a puzzled expression. You feel like you're going to burst into flames from embarrassment, but manage to dodge the question by putting a digit to your lips.

"It sounds like she's already struggling with it. Her family doesn't know."

"Damn. Okay, gettin' the picture. Tricky. And, uh, hate to dogpile, but guess who I have waitin' for you in room B? I'll give ya a hint: Chester sent him down personally."

"...You've got to be kidding. Tonight? Now? J, I can't!"

"I know, I know, timing sucks, but I've already left him up there a while. I don't know how much longer he'll wait around, and I really don't want to lose this opportunity to take a crack at him. I can't do my thing until you do yours, unless you want to go off-book and wing it?"

Sapphire doesn't say anything for a moment before making a frustrated noise.

"No. Dammit J, I hate this cloak-and-dagger crap. I'm so tired."

"I know. I'm sorry. But, we're way behind enemy lines here. This is what we signed up for. Just remember the raid, 'kay? This is the game we gotta play, especially for cubs like these two."

Another sigh. "Fine. But promise me you'll do everything you can for them until I get back. Please. I don't want to lose either of them."

"I'll take care of 'em. I promise. But at then end of the night it's their choice."

"I know. That's what I'm afraid of."

Cherry backs away from the door and grabs your paw to pull you along with her. The contact is electric, though your frustration with her and a scolding inner voice dampens the thrill slightly. The door beeps, clunks, and Sapphire steps through. Cherry strikes a nonchalant pose and you try to settle for something other than "obviously guilty."

"Hey you two. I have to handle another VIP, so J is going to take over for a little bit. I know you won't have any objections, Cherry."

Cherry flashes a snaggletooth grin as Sapphire steps over to you and squats to get closer to your eye level, concern etched into her brow.

"I'm sorry. I know I promised to be with you every step of the way. You can wait here until I'm finished, if you like."

You're torn. On the one paw, Sapphire's warnings about what your heat might do has you worried. On the other, if you stay here then Cherry might move ahead without you, just her and J. You already left them together once. You can't risk it happening again.

"No, it's okay. I'll go with Cherry. Just... please come back quick."

"I will, don't you worry. J is a good fur. He'll take care of you. And remember rule one, okay? That's for you as much as any other fur here."

She rubs your arm with a tiny frown before standing to fish around in her pocket. Two keys with numbered tags emerge, and Sapphire hands them to J along with the test folders. Then, she turns back to face you.

"J is going to be your big brother out there until I get back, okay? If you want your key, you can ask him for it at any time. He'll decide if it's safe to give it to you. Okay?"

"Okay."

Sapphire looks you and Cherry over, clearly reluctant to leave. "Be safe out there, you two. I'll be back as soon as I can."

And with that, she steps around J and is gone. J puts his paws on his hips, wearing a face-splitting grin.

"Alright, so I get to be your guide for the main event! You don't strike me as the sorta fur who will care too much if we go over your results on the way, right Cherry?"

"Nope."

"Per-fection."

J holds open one of the folders in a giant paw, pushes through the door, and strides down the hall. You and Cherry quickly trail along behind.

"Let's see... all kinda gobbeltygook in here, but only bit that matters right now is your heat expression. If our favorite nerd were here she'd give you a whole spiel, but I'm just security, so you get the Cliff's notes. Looks like you've got some flavor of NoCH or LoVH, and we're not really sure which. Somethin', somethin' science is hard."

J steps up to a desk you were getting ready to pass and hands the folders to a waiting attendant, then it's back on the march. You almost have to jog to keep up with J's long strides.

"Anyway, those fancy acronyms stand for Non-Cyclic Heat and, uh... hang on I'll remember the other one. These are better than the first batch of names they came up with, believe me. No fur could even pronounce those, much less remember 'em. LoVH is, uh, Lo...Lowwww...Variance Heat. Yeah. Knew It'd come back to me.

"Basically every fur's heat is a little different. Ya gotta understand 'em to know how they'll affect you and the furs around you. NoCH—or 'notch'—means you get all hot and bothered at random, best as we can tell. It'll build up over a couple of days until it's driving you totally nuts, hang around, and then fade out to nothin'.

"LoVH gets turned into 'love.' It means you're always kinda turned on, and while it comes and goes it won't change as much as other fur's heat, or get as strong. Now, this is all fancy new science we're doin' down here, so it's not perfect. Do one of those sound right?"

Cherry shrugs. "Both, kinda."

"Worst of both worlds, huh? Sounds rough. One thing I gotta know before you can lose the redneck is that you'll behave. You don't exactly have a good track record on that point so far."

"Hey, is it my fault you're super hot?"

The coal in your stomach reignites and you glare at the back of Cherry's head. You want to be mad at J for stealing Cherry away, but Cherry keeps being a dummy so you'll settle for being miffed at her instead. A little voice suggests you should be mad at yourself for wanting Cherry at all, but it fails to recognize that now is [i]not[/i] a good time. You kick it out into the dark until it stops talking. J chuckles.

"Well that's kind of you to say, but I'm afraid you're barking up the wrong tree. I'm not into girls."

"Come on man, I'm not [i]that[/i] young."

J snorts. "Well now you're just makin' me feel old. Not what I meant though. I'm gay."

You're glad you're at the back of the line so no fur sees the surprise wash over your face. You can see Cherry tense and her ears perk up.

"...Shit."

"Ha! Sorry, should have told you earlier. Figured letting you fish your heart out in an empty pond would be informative. We get plenty of furs just like you, and I've dealt with some of them personally. You want to stay? Respect the rules. You didn't [i]technically[/i] break any of 'em, so I won't throw the book at you, but you cross a line and your history isn't going to do you any favors. Fair?"

Cherry sighs. "Yeah, fair... Sorry."

"No harm, no foul. We're square. Good lesson for another reason, too. We've got a spot for any fur who can follow the rules down here. Some aren't going to be interested in you, and some are going to make a pass and you won't be interested in them. Remember what it feels like to swing hard and strike out. Be clear about what you want and don't want, but let 'em down easy if a fur isn't your cup of tea."

You swallow a lump in your throat as you study every hair on Cherry's body for a reaction, but she just walks on, unreadable. It makes you want to scream, or maybe cry. Probably both.

"Anyhoo, we're gettin' off-topic. We're supposed to be going over the ABCs of your heat. How long have you been dealing with it?"

"I dunno... 4th grade? 5th grade?"

You're a little shocked by the implications. Cherry has been in nearly constant heat for [i]years[/i]? Her opinions about this sort of stuff start to make a little more sense.

Sure, most of your sisters started running their special fevers around the same age, but at least they have somewhere safe to go and wait it out. You can't imagine having to deal with it and still go to school, take tests, and pretend to be okay, even if it isn't as strong as what you feel most of the time.

"So that's been what, about six months now?" You can hear the playful smile in J's voice.

"Har-har, old geezer."

J hunches over and pantomimes hobbling along with a cane. You and Cherry share a chuckle.

"Gotcha, so this is nothin' new for you. I can let you run on a longer leash then, though I still gotta keep close watch this first night, just to make sure. The more you prove you can play by the rules, the more we'll let you roam free.

A musical beat has been steadily growing louder as you've walked, and seems to be just up ahead now. You pass over a big grate in the floor with accompanying fans in the ceiling blowing into it. On the other side you're greeted with a lot of funny smells you can't quite place. J pauses before a pair of heavy double doors and turns to face you both.

"This is it, last chance to turn back. Main floor is through here, and once the collar comes off you're free to make decisions for yourself. Speakin' of..."

J fishes out the pair of keys Sapphire gave him and tosses one to Cherry.

"You o-fficially have my permission to make your own choices. You pull somethin' dumb and it might go back on, but for now you're free to make your own calls."

Cherry smirks and spins the collar around to get access to the lock. A quick twist of the key and the ring of leather pops open. She sighs in satisfaction as she pulls it free, smoothing the fur around her neck as she hands the collar to J. He faces you next, spinning your key around on the ring before speaking.

"Normally I'm the sort to give out rope and let a fur decide how to use it, but you're a kinda special case. I'm going hang onto your key for now, until I've got a better feel for you, 'kay?"

You nod, feeling a little better about J now that he isn't competition for Cherry. You're actually a little curious about him, since he's... like you. Sorta. Maybe he knows about the medicine? Cherry seems puzzled by the difference in how you're being treated, but thankfully doesn't say anything about it.

"Alrighty then! Everyfur good? Ready to head in?"

Cherry cracks her knuckles. "Yep. You cool, Cotton?"

"I think so. Yeah." Butterflies flutter around in your stomach.

J grins a big, toothy smile and turns to throw the doors wide with a dramatic flourish.

"In that case, welcome to the club!"

The first thing that hits you is the smell. The bit leaking through the doors was apparently just a preview. It doesn't smell [i]bad[/i], per-se, it's just a lot. You get whiffs of all kinds of different furs, but before you can spend too much time trying to pick out the different species your eyes adjust to the low light as you follow J in.

The whole floor is soaked in neon glow, occasionally punctured by bright strobes or chopped up with lasers to match the music. It's not as loud as you thought it would be, which is nice. Groups of furs out on the periphery with you huddle together in tight clusters, laughing, talking and, oh... those over there are... kissing.

J hooks left and walks on, dodging and weaving through the crowd as he goes. A few call out greetings which J returns with gusto. He's apparently heading somewhere in particular, so you keep following, trying not to stare at the couples as you stumble across them.

"This is the main floor. Over there—" he points towards the stage with your key. A wide semi-circle of stairs lead down a grid of flashing floor panels, furs of all ages bounce to the beat on top of it. The ceiling opens up a lot too, a second floor balcony encircling and overlooking the dance floor. "That's the pit. If you wanna dance it out, that's the place to do it. We try to keep the volume reasonable for furs with good hearing, but if you need earplugs they're available.

Locker rooms and showers are on the other side of the floor. If you want to freshen up, feel free to drop in. There are changes of clothes available too. You probably can't see it from here, but most of the showers are extra public for furs who want to put on a show. You don't have to use those if you aren't comfortable. If they look like your sort of thing, remember to be careful of the wet floor."

You're not sure if you want to look towards the other side of the floor or not. A certain morbid curiosity pushes you to make furtive, sideways glances, while your better judgement keeps your head locked straight ahead.

You manage a few peeks around the crowd you're walking through, and sure enough there's a large group of completely naked furs showering against the far wall. Your heart thunders and you quickly point your gaze straight ahead again, shocked that any fur would do that. Cherry is far less circumspect in her curiosity, standing on tiptoe and even making a few bouncing strides to get a good view.

"Bathrooms are on this side, on this floor and above. The ones down here are all business, the ones above are for fun. They all have attendants to make sure the rules are followed."

Fun? A shudder runs down your spine, though you can't tell if it's just disgust or if there's something else mixed in. The realization worries you.

"There are a bunch of other themed and private rooms on both floors, though cubs need points for most of them. Adults pay in cash."

Cherry's ears prick up. "Points?"

"Yeah, we've got a point system for a pawful of stuff. We run contests and games with point prizes, bonuses for good behavior, and payouts if you graduate to a 'big sibling.' Sibs are basically halfway between members and staff. They're usually older teens, but we've got a few younger members too. They watch out for newbies and help make sure every fur is following the rules. If another cub says you're breaking a rule, probably best to listen. You can ask if they're a Sib. It's against the rules to lie about that in any way.

Main thing you should know about points is they can't be traded, though what they unlock can be shared. That's mostly to prevent furs getting pressured to turn tricks for benefits. If some fur offers to trade points for a 'favor', flag a staff member. Same goes for cash. Mr. or Ms. Moneybags will have to pay you whatever they offered, but you don't have to do a damn thing in return."

"Nice."

"I thought so. It was a suggestion from one of my crew. We got tired of busting furs for breaking that rule. Had to make some adjustments after a group of entrepreneurial cubs figured out we didn't have a matching punishment for scamming adults out of their cash."

Cherry cackles as J pushes through a throng that mostly parts when they spot him. You're grateful for the wake he leaves. Being smaller than most furs makes navigating crowds no fun. A group of flirting canine teens brush past, heading in the opposite direction. You notice Cherry turning to watch them go, eyes clearly all over their retreating tails. She notices you looking at her and waggles her eyebrows in your direction. It makes you grumpy.

You follow J down another short flight of stairs into an area cordoned off from the larger floor with a half-wall. Heavy upholstery, carpet, and intimate groups of couches set around low tables all drink up the music down here. All the furs sitting or standing around probably help too. The thick buzz of conversation is regularly punctuated by laughter or excited shouts.

A crowd of furs gathered around a cluster of couches break into whooping applause as a girl not much older than you pulls her top off. She's bouncing very suggestively, though you can't see her partner hidden by the back of the couch. It takes a moment before you realize you've stopped walking, your jaw hanging open as you stare. The girl moans and laughs while you watch, your pulse pounding and privates tingling.

Two other girls start to strip and that's enough to knock you back to your senses. You feel doubly dirty, both for looking at girls and because none of them were Cherry. A cynical voice points out that Cherry doesn't seem to have any such hangups. It doesn't make you feel any better. You rush to catch up to J before he or Cherry realize what you were doing.

"This is the lounge. Good place to meet furs, chat, relax, and have a good time, as you can see."

J keeps walking, weaving around the couches and furs, leading you up to a bar on a raised dais. He takes a seat among three free stools and you clamber up next to him with Cherry on your right. J drops your key and Cherry's collar on the countertop before reaching down to pull a lever and boost your stool up to a comfortable height. The bar is a large oval, and on the far side you can see booths and tables with furs eating and hanging out. Thankfully none of them seem to be naked. It almost feels normal, as long as you don't look around too much.

"I'm sure you can guess what this is. Either of you thirsty? Hungry? Dinner's an option, but ya gotta pay for that, points or cash. Drinks and snacks are on the house for cubs."

Cherry scowls. "You serve booze to cubs here?"

"Hah! Nah, gotta be 21 for that, same as everywhere else. Not good for your noggin. Adults gotta keep their drinks to themselves, and if any of 'em share you'll both get a suspension, so don't go trying to talk them into it. Plenty of other options though. Water, soda, juice, tea, you name it. Snacks are tasty too, both veggie and carnivore options. So how about it?"

Cherry spins her stool to face the lounge and leans back against the bar, fluffed tail twitching and swaying gently.

"I'm good. Think I'm hungry for something else."

"Eager for the main event, huh? Go on then, your choice. I won't kill your mojo by hovering over your shoulder, but stick to the lounge for now. I'll keep an eye on you from here, so best behavior, 'kay?"

"Sure, sure. Ready to grab a bunch of hot dudes, Fluffybutt?" Cherry grins at you fiendishly.

You tense, guilt about what you just did and fresh frustration with Cherry's blind boy obsession collide like a pair of opposing trains in your head. You manage a squeaky mumble, and almost manage to get some words out before J jumps in.

"Ah, actually how about you give us a minute. I don't think Cottontail is ready for a free roam just yet."

Cherry's grin morphs into frustrated confusion as she glances between you, J, and the lounge.

"She can't even come talk? I've been trouble, why let me off the hook and not her?"

"That's private. You can ask Cottontail about it, but it's up to her if she wants to answer."

You can tell Cherry is thinking about the conversation you eavesdropped on together, and your ache, but doesn't want to spill the beans in front of J. She slides off the stool and laces her paw into yours with a look of concern. Your whole arm tingles and the fur stands on end, your breath stolen away.

"You... okay?"

Knowing what's happening makes it a little easier, but the mood of the room combined with the contact still makes your head spin. It's like the whole world is tipping into the space between your paw and Cherry's. It's intoxicating. It's wrong.

A desperate urge to throw yourself into the roaring flames and tell Cherry everything rages inside your skull. At the same time, you're terrified of what even the slightest slip in your control might mean. You can't think straight with Cherry's paw in yours. You need space to catch your breath. You manage to push out a few words, even if you can't bring yourself to break the contact.

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm okay. I-I'll go when miss Sapphire gets back."

Cherry's brow is knit with frustration as her tail continues to twitch, clearly unsatisfied with the answer. She steps away to pace and gesture while she talks, the sudden break in contact and accompanying crash back into reality is like plunging into ice water. Cherry doesn't seem to notice.

"Jeez, we're so close. I don't get how you can be so calm. Like, just look at this buffet of hunks! They're like, right there! You don't have to follow all those dumb church rules down here. You're free! Yeah, you've still got the collar, but you can at least come look. No harm in that, right?"

How can she be so dumb? Can't she see what she just did to you? All she can see is boys. She'll never look at you the way you look at her. Maybe you aren't any better. You were just ogling a bunch of girls you don't even know, after all. You're a filthy sinner, and you'll never be anything but a sinner. The fiery pit in your stomach ices over as you let your frustration and self-hatred take over.

"Maybe I like my dumb church rules! Maybe I'm just not all [i]boy crazy[/i] like you. If you're so interested in them why don't you just go and leave me alone!?!"

You spin your stool around, putting your back to Cherry and her dumb boys. The world is wobbly through your hot tears, but you refuse to blink them away and give them the satisfaction of rolling down your cheeks. It feels like some fur has their fist down your throat.

"Cotton... I..." you feel Cherry's paw brush against your shoulder but you shrug it away before it can worm into your brain.

"Go away." 

"Give her a minute, Cherry. We'll talk and catch up with you."

"But-"

"Rule one. You've said your piece, and she has specifically asked you to give her space. Don't worry. We'll talk it out."

You can feel Cherry hovering silently for a several seconds before she walks off without a word, like a magnetic field dropping away.

Stupid Cherry. Stupid you.






The Club - 14 - Regrets and Opportunities


Your head thunks into your arms crossed over the countertop, hair spilling around your face like a curtain. It gives you the privacy to cry. Again. This time you give into it completely, letting the weight of your sin and Cherry's blindness crush you. It's over. You lost her.

No, that's not right. You never had her to begin with. Cherry doesn't want you and never will. The little voice in the back of your head whispers that this is a good thing, that maybe you're redeemable after all, and you hate it. You've never hated anything more, not even yourself, and it makes you want to tear the stupid little voice to pieces. You can't, of course, and the rage sputters out into exhaustion. You're pretty sure J can hear you sobbing, but you don't care. You don't care about anything any more.

A couple of minutes pass before you feel something cold and wet press against your elbow. You try to ignore it, but it just sits there, silent and persistent. You roll your head to take a peek, discovering a tall glass of ice tea and fruit, topped with a tiny umbrella and a crazy straw. It's held in one of J's massive paws as he smiles down at you, softly.

"Have a sip. It'll make you feel better."

You roll your head back into your arms and mumble into the bar.

"I don't want to feel better."

"I know, kiddo."

The glass just sits there, condensation dripping into your fur. You ignore it for another ten or twenty seconds before reaching over to slide it in front of you, one paw wrapped around its cool, slick surface. You're too tired to be stubborn.

"...I dunno what it's like to have heats. Never will. But, I do know what it's like to be on the other end. It's not the same. Not really. But it does drive you crazy in ways that are close.

"I remember gettin' into arguments with my schoolmates when the full moon or springtime rolled around and girls would start to heat. Our noses would get into a twist, and suddenly we all had to be the biggest, baddest, top dog of the pack. We'd fight, and show off, and act like fools.

"That's when I first noticed I wasn't like the rest of my pals. They'd snap and snarl over some pretty cockerspaniel, or Dalmatian, or some other fur, but always girls. Meanwhile I'd be more interested in the attention I got from my pack mates, even if it was all boasts and scrapping.

"Started poppin' boners when it came time to shower with the boys after gym, and it didn't take long before furs started to notice. Rumors spread, and I got called out for it. 'course I denied everything. Made up a bunch of tall tales about gettin' horny over the cheer squad. I even almost convinced myself, but deep down, I knew.

"My old man was a military fur to his bones. His old man was the same, and growing up my brothers and I got fed a bunch of crap about what it meant to be male. Gays were weak, limp-wristed failures, or sex-crazed deviants. If you wanted to bang a chick, well that's fine, boys wil be boys, just make sure you don't knock her up.

"I idolized my father. He was everything I wanted to be. That meant being a male's male: all strength, all dominance. I couldn't be gay. That was weakness. So, I buried my feelings as deep as I could and doubled down on what I thought it meant to be male.

"I became a total jerk to my pals, especially when heats rolled around and I started to want them in ways that went beyond friendship. I amped up the trash talk, treated them worse than any of our bullies ever did, and stole their girls out from under 'em. I thought I was proving I was better than them, more [i]masculine[/i]. I had to show everyfur that I could have any girl I wanted, and that I wanted them all. But, on the inside, I was mostly trying to convince myself.

"Didn't take long before my pals weren't my pals any more. Told myself it didn't matter, because I had new pals: furs that respected me for my strength. My old friends were just weak, and I didn't need them any more."

You sip at the tea. You're not sure when you decided to try it, J's story has your full attention, but he was right. It's sweet, and cold, and it does make you feel better.

"After a few years I graduated and had to figure out what to do with my life. I entered the military, following in my father's pawprints. Somehow made it through basic, and my determination to prove I was the best got me noticed by my superiors.

Eventually made it all the way into special ops. I was good at it, and that got me a long way. Unfortunately, I'd also developed a nasty habit of refusing to let other furs tell me what to do. After a series of warnings and a demotion I got kicked out with a dishonorable discharge.

"That's when I started to notice I was alone. Once I didn't have a squad to jockey against it dawned on me that there wasn't a single fur in my life who cared if I was alive or dead. I started drinking heavily, and that made me even more insufferable. I was losing control, but I had no idea how to pull up, so I just doubled down again.

"I entered the police academy, because you can ego-trip all you want when you're busting civilians' chops. I climbed the ladder like a wolf on fire and made detective in record time, specializing in the riskiest cover work I could find. I developed a reputation for being a hardass, but a hardass that got stuff done. I thought the recognition and accomplishment would fix me, but it didn't. I was empty. None of it mattered, and I was dying inside.

"That's when I met a paramedic named Max. First bumped into him after a shootout in a drug bust that went bad. I'd met some talented combat medics in spec-ops, and Max was as good as any of them. Thing was, he spent as much time patching up the furs that almost killed me as he did working on us cops, and that didn't sit right. I gave him all kinds of crap for it, but for every insult I spat he'd sling one right back, and they skewered me for the shallow jerk I was.

"When I learned he was stationed a few blocks from my precinct I started to come up with excuses to drop by, trying to get in the last word. It became a game. He'd dodge every jab I could throw and swing inside with a one-liner that would knock me on my ass. Guy was an artist. He started dropping by my office in return, and we'd duke it out some more. We developed a bit of a reputation, and furs would hang around just to listen to us trade barbs.

"Before I knew it, I'd fallen for him. It took a lot longer before I finally admitted that to myself. We'd become friends by that point, but I was so screwed up that I had no idea how to tell him that I wanted more.

"And then he was gone."

You stop mid-slurp, not liking this latest turn in the story.

"Gone?"

"Yeah. Gone, gone. As gone as a fur can be. Turns out he'd been doing some side-work in the ghettos, helping furs who couldn't help themselves. Illegal immigrants, drug addicts, drunks, gangbangers, prostitutes, the homeless, pretty much any fur who can't or won't walk into a doctor's office, he helped. That's where they found him, in some back alley dumpster in the worst part of town, stabbed to death.

"It was in our jurisdiction. I wasn't on the crew that locked down the scene, but word got around to me pretty quick. Took a long time for it to sink in. Even when I was looking at him on the slab, it... it..."

You can tell J is just barely holding himself together. You don't really know how to respond. You've never needed to comfort an adult before, much less a huge wolf man. You want to though, and so lean your head against his arm and rest your paw on his. The size difference makes it look silly, but you don't care.

The hum of other furs going about their lives provides a soothing backdrop of white noise, letting you both pretend there isn't a lingering silence as you sit together. It lasts a long while. Eventually J pats your paw, steps behind the bar to pour himself a little glass of something that makes your nose burn, quaffs it, and sits back down beside you. His voice is thick with emotion and rough from the drink.

"Sorry. It's been a long time since I told any fur this story. I thought it would be easier."

"It's okay. You don't have to."

"No, I want to. It's good to remember. It's just hard, missing him. Every time I think about what happened I wonder if our relationship could have been more than it was. Even if I had to lose him it's my fault for wasting so much of the time we had. If he'd told me he didn't love me in the same way, well, at least I would have known.

I guess that's what I wanted to tell you. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life—things I regret and can't take back. Almost all of them came at the cost of furs I loved. If I could go back and give myself one piece of advice, it would be to fight [i]for[/i] those furs rather than with them. You never know how long you'll have, or when an argument might be the last thing you say to each other."

J's radio chirps and you hear Sapphire's voice on the other end. He holds up a digit and takes a few steps away to talk. You could probably listen in if you tried, but J's story is ringing in your ears. Your brain feels like it's rolling down a hill, and it's picking up speed.

Cherry is stupid. And blind. And maybe she's even a jerk by accident, sometimes. But so are you. How is she supposed to know you want her if you can't even decide for yourself? Was she supposed to just magically figure it out and come onto you, so you wouldn't have to make the decision? That's what you wanted, isn't it? You wanted her to do the hard part, to claim you, so you could pretend to stay innocent.

Stupid. Even if she had taken you, you'd still be just as guilty for letting her. And you would have let her. You'd let her, and love every second of it. But that's not going to happen. This isn't magic fairy land. This is a secret club where furs come to have sex all night, and you're sitting at a bar, alone, because you're afraid, and a crybaby, and can't make up your mind. So what's it going to be, Fluffbutt? Are you going to get up and leave, stay the good girl and lose Cherry to any fur she throws herself at, or are you going to go and claim her for yourself?

You sit for a moment, heave in a deep breath, and spin your stool around.

It's funny, the furs making out barely register this time. You only care about one girl right now, and you're going to do exactly what Mr. J wished he could have done. You're going to fight, not [i]with[/i] her, but [i]for[/i] her. 

You dial in on Cherry before you even consciously realize it. She's barely visible, settled deep into a couch, flanked by two older canines with their paws roaming all over her. One of them has his muzzle buried in her's, tongues lapping all over each other, his paw inching lower and lower.

The coal in your chest reignites with a vengeance, and you're three steps in Cherry's direction before you freeze in place. Your collar... You spin back around. J is still on the radio, but your key is sitting on the bar right where he left it. It's in your paw and you're diving through a crowd of furs without a second thought. Doesn't matter. You'd have done the same thing no matter how long you took to think about it.

You're at the foot of the couch, getting jostled among a crowd of furs, and neither Cherry nor her partners have noticed you yet. You don't know how to interject, but for the first time since you met Cherry you're completely certain about what you want, and what you want is her. You're not going to share, or be a good little bunny, or cry in a corner because she hasn't figured it out. No more. Never again. Your voice is quiet, barely audible over the crowd, but it doesn't quaver.

"Stop."

None of them notice, so you say it again, louder this time. The guy who isn't shoving his tongue down Cherry's throat picks up on you first, turning to face you. He seems drunk. A sloppy smile spreads across his face.

"Hey cutie, come to play?"

Your ears lay back and you glare at him with every ounce of intensity you can muster. You're not sure if it's your face or the collar around your neck that makes a bigger impression, but he seems to get the message, raising his paws in surrender as he stands.

The second guy picks up on the motion and breaks the make-out session, which finally gets Cherry to look at you. She's wearing a funny smirk. It has her usual cocky attitude, but there's something else in there too, and it's not just the dog drool dripping from her chin. Make Out Guy seems to be drunk too, you can smell the booze on his breath from here.

"Hey Fluffybutt, decided to ditch Mr. Killjoy and come have some fun with your real friend?"

"No. Yes. What are you doing?"

"What's it look like I'm doing? I'm about to get tag-teamed by these two losers."

Cherry grabs Make Out Guy by the collar and swings up into his lap, planting her muzzle back into his and putting her back to you. Make Out sinks into the couch and grabs Cherry's butt with both his paws. Oh [i]heck[/i] no. You climb up onto the arm of the couch and stand above both of them.

"But you can't! You hate furs who drink!"

Cherry shoves Make Out away and leans back to look up at you. This time you can tell she's angry.

"Yeah!?! Well maybe I'm warming up to it." She makes a show of gathering the drool from her chin and slurping it up. "No fur tells me what I can't do, especially some stuck-up, goody-two-shoes bunny girl.

"Tell me again why I [i]can't[/i]. Is it because I have to save myself for some perfect choir boy who will sweep me off my paws and lock me away in his castle? Is it because some invisible old fur in the sky gets pissed when I'm horny?

"Well fuck him! He never gave a shit about me before, and according to your little hissy fit you don't either, so you can both get bent! Go hang out with your new best friend, since you hate me so much. I saw you getting all cozy over at the bar. I can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for his 'oh, so sorry, I'm gay!' line. He just wanted to put his moves on you instead of me. Well bra-vo! Well played, douchebag."

Cherry yanks herself back into Make Out, who seems to be slowly figuring out he's in the middle of something bigger than he bargained for.

This is going all wrong. You're doing exactly what you were trying to avoid, but you have no idea how to undo what you did earlier. How do you get Cherry to listen? You can't even touch her unless she agrees to it, and you're still wearing your colla-

The idea strikes like lightning.

"You're right. I've been really, really dumb. I couldn't figure out what I wanted, and I was hoping you'd do it for me. But I'm not doing that any more."

You reach behind your neck and unlock the collar, pulling it free. It tangles up with your necklace on the way off, and the two knot together. You fiddle with it a moment, trying to get the collar loose, but it's hopelessly tied. You're wasting time. The moment is slipping away. You yank at the collar as hard as you can and feel the clasp of the necklace break. Now both dangle from your paw.

"You taught me a lot of stuff. I used to think that was bad, and that you were bad, and I needed to save you. I don't think that any more. Something I should have learned a long time ago was that I need to know what I want, and if I want it I have to claim it."

Cherry still isn't looking at you, though Make Out Guy is shooting "save me" glances in your direction. You kneel down on the arm of the couch, lean forward, and lock your collar around Cherry's neck. Make Out Guy follows the motion, eyes growing wider as the collar latches, and pushes Cherry away in a panic.

Cherry looks down at him, pawing at the leather ring, and then turns to glare at you. She's pissed, and as she opens her mouth to continue the argument you jump into her arms, knocking her over into the cushions and landing in her lap. Then, you kiss her. It's gross with all the slobber from Make Out Guy, and it tastes terrible, but every hair on your body stands on end anyway. You bury yourself into Cherry, pouring out every ounce of passion you've been holding in for months. You're not sure how long it lasts, your whole body tingling and the world dropping away to a pinprick, but eventually you have to take a breath and break the kiss.

Cherry is sprawled out beneath you, a look of complete and utter shock on her face.

"I want [i]you[/i]. You don't have to give yourself away to strangers. [i]I[/i] want you. A-and you don't have to be a good girl for me. I'll be a bad girl for you."

You reach down to grab them hem of your skirt, and pull it up over your head before throwing the whole thing to the floor. Now you're straddling Cherry in the middle of a crowd of furs in nothing but your panties. You still blush, and start to quiver a little, but push forward anyway.

"I'll break any rule you want me to. I don't care."

You reach down to tug at the necklace dangling from the collar, eventually getting half the chain free and popping the cross loose. You hurl it into the crowd.

"I-I'll go to Hell for you. Just please... promise you'll be there with me."

You can't help it, a tear sneaks out. You wipe it away like you're punching it. If Cherry can tell God to get bent, then so can you. Heaven isn't worth it without her anyway.

A loud set of claps startles you, as a girl in the crowd surrounding the couch starts to applaud. Others quickly join in, hooting and cheering, calling for Cherry to answer. It breaks the spell a little, and you cover your bare chest with your paws, embarrassed.

J's snout leans into your periphery. It makes you jump. It's like he appeared out of thin air. He looks at you, sitting in your underwear, straddling Cherry, with your collar locked around her neck and the stolen key still in your paw. His face is expressionless and unreadable.

"I think you both need to come with me."





The Club - 15 - Facts, Fables, Food, and Family


You're not really sure how you got here. Your head is still spinning. Cottontail is ahead of you, occasionally sneaking glances back in your direction, following J down yet another darkened hallway. Every once in a while you can see her stubby little bunny tail twitching happily.

You reach up to touch the collar around your neck, mostly just to confirm you didn't imagine that part. Nope. Still there. You stare at Cotton's back as you walk, dumbfounded by the bunny before you.

What the fuck just happened? What did you miss? How did fifteen minutes with a wolf she barely knows transform Cotton into... this? You've been trying to get her to loosen up and have some fun for months.

Sapphire steps out of a doorway ahead, holding a bag and what looks like a pair of boxers. She spots the three of you and smiles. As you get closer the smile slowly morphs into confusion. J steps close as she whispers to him.

"Is everything okay?"

"Good question. Fill you in later. How are things here?"

Sapphire sighs. "I'm not sure. I can't get a feel for him. He said what I wanted him to say, but I can't tell if he actually believed any of it. You'll have to take a crack at him. I think he's waking up, come on, I'll set up the changeover."

Sapphire and J step into the room, leaving you alone with Cotton in the hallway. She leans against the wall, pointedly looking at anything but you. You've never felt more out of your depth. The two of you wait silently for what feels like a long time, but it can't have been more than a minute or two. Sapphire steps back out of the room, a wad of bills in her paw, calling back in a sing-song voice.

"Thank you Jaaay!"

The door shuts and Sapphire's demeanor shifts from playful to concerned as she quietly leads you to the far end of the hall, ushering you through one of the doors. You wince as she flicks on a table lamp and discover what looks like an old doctor's office. Sapphire kneels in front of you, a serious expression on her face.

"I'll admit I wasn't expecting to find you collar-free so quick, Miss Cottontail. I'm also disappointed to find you collared, Cherry. Knowing J, that means you must have bent some more rules."

Cotton comes to your defense before you can say anything.

"S-she didn't. I did."

Sapphire raises an incredulous eyebrow. "Go on."

"That's my collar. I stole my key from Mr. J and put my collar on Cherry."

This little tidbit is new to you. "You [i]stole[/i] the key?"

Cottontail looks down and nods silently. Her shame doesn't seem to last long though, as she steels herself and presses on.

"I had to. I didn't have time to explain. You were going to let those furs... do things to you. I had to tell you first, but I messed everything up when I yelled at you and then you weren't listening to me."

Sapphire looks slightly confused. "I think you need to back up a little, sweetie. Give me the quick version of what I missed."

Cottontail purses her lips for a moment before taking a deep breath and launching into the explanation.

"I'm a bad fur. I've been really bad ever since I met Cherry. I wanted to tell her, but I was scared because I didn't want to go to hell, and I though I could make her good. I've been trying to make her good so that I could be good too.

But then Mr. J told me about how he used to fight with his friends because he liked them. Then he, um, had sex with a lot of girls he didn't even like, and then he was all alone and he never even got to tell Max that he loved him before he died.

He said it was his biggest mistake, and that made me think about my mistakes. I figured out I had to choose. I had to choose if I wanted to be good and go to heaven, or be bad and keep Cherry."

Sapphire seems to be putting the pieces together even if you aren't totally following.

"I think I understand, but just to make sure, could you explain something for me sweetie? Why do you think you're a bad fur?"

Cottontail blushes from her cheeks to the tips of her ears, looking down at the tile floor. You feel your own face growing warm as she whispers her reply.

"Because I love Cherry."

"Oh, sweetheart." Sapphire leans in to wrap Cotton in a firm hug. "That doesn't make you bad. You're not bad just because you love somefur."

You can hear Cotton sniffling as she returns the hug, Sapphire rubbing her back. You still can't quite believe what you're hearing, despite what happened in the lounge. How could you not know this about Cotton? Did she try to tell you, and you were just too stupid to figure it out? Doesn't she know you would have accepted her? You would have accepted her feelings... right?

A blood-curdling scream from down the hall causes all three of you to jump, Sapphire quickly rising to her feet, tail fluffed.

"Dammit J, that's too far. Wait here you two, don't go anywhere."

Sapphire hurries out of the room. You wait a moment and quietly pad to the doorway to peek down the hall after her, Cotton sneaking up behind you to look as well. You can hear her snuffling as she pulls herself back together. It has been a long time since you felt weird about bunnies stepping into your personal space, much less Cotton, but it's like you don't know how to react to her anymore. You can feel your fur standing on end just from the proximity.

J steps out of the room and starts whispering animatedly with Sapphire. You can't make out what they are saying, and cup your paw next to your ear. Cotton notices and whispers to you, still a little stuffy, but steady.

"They're talking about another fur—some guy in the room, I think?"

"You can hear that?"

Cotton nods. "Mostly. Sapphire is mad, and J is saying that the guy is fine. He just scared him. Now he's saying something about a... belt? I missed part of what he said. Miss Sapphire is asking what J thinks about the guy. He says he's not sure but he doesn't think he is a... vegilanty? What's a vegilanty?"

"Comic book stuff. Like Bat Knight."

"Oh. I'm not allowed to read those. Now they're talking about what to do next. I missed some of it. Sapphire says they have to try something else."

J looks in your direction, and you both duck back behind the doorway. You sit quietly for a moment before Cotton breaks the silence.

"Do you think he saw us?"

"Probably. Can you still hear them?"

"No. I can't hear anything."

You risk another peek down the hall and find it empty.

"I think they went back into the room."

Cottontail nods, easing herself to the floor, her back against the wall next to the doorway.

"You're just going to sit here? Don't you want to know what's going on?"

She thinks a moment before replying. "No. I trust them."

"Even after that scream? I thought you were worried about them being sex traffickers?"

"I used to be. I'm not any more."

You stand in the doorway, conflicted, trying to decide if you want to sneak off and listen in some more. It doesn't sound like any fun without Cotton along with you. Despite being a little weirded out you don't want to leave her, so you pad over to the catercorner wall and slide to the floor, leather pants creaking as they grip the linoleum floor. Cotton smiles softly, leans her head against the sheet rock, and closes her eyes while you wait.

This is the first time you've had a chance to get a good look at her since the lounge. The scene plays back in your head—the way your anger thrummed as Cotton pushed you to the cushions, her surprisingly slight weight on top of you, and then her lips pressed passionately against yours. You're pretty sure you even felt her tongue sneak in there, as you trace your own across your teeth subconsciously. It still doesn't feel real, like you dreamed the whole thing. Why was that so much different from making out with the two losers just before?

Puzzle pieces shift in your head while you watch the little bunny. She stirs slightly, pulling her legs in to get more comfortable, breathing slowly, gentle shadows playing across her face at the edge of the unlit hall. There's still some of that old balled up tension somewhere in there, but it's... smaller, somehow? It's hard to pin down. It unwinds some of your stress just watching her, comparing the girl before you against her mental mirror image, built over months of time together.

Seeing her like this does something to you, deep in your chest. It's like kneading a sore muscle that you didn't realize was knotted up. This is what you wanted to give her, isn't it? Tonight wasn't about fun. You wanted her to stop hurting. It's weird realizing that in retrospect. It should have been obvious. She's been hurting the whole time you've known her, and you wanted it to stop before you could put that into words.

How did J see it so clearly? Are you blind? Are you a bad friend? Even the way you dragged her here was nothing but fuck-ups and mistakes. How did he manage to untangle her so easily, when you threw everything you had into it for months and came back with nothing but empty paws?

A door halfway down the hall opens and J and Sapphire step out. Apparently they ducked into a different room than the one with the guy while you and Cotton weren't looking. J heads back down the hall while Sapphire walks in your direction. You nudge Cotton's paw with your shoe and she opens her eyes just as Sapphire gets within easy conversation distance.

"Okay you two, J's going to take you upstairs with our other guest. I'll join you shortly."

Cotton nods. You're more concerned.

"Is Cotton in trouble? You kicking her out?"

"That's what we need to decide. Or, it's related, anyway. J gave me the whole story, and we agreed we need some other furs involved in the discussion."

J steps back into the hall, a male raccoon roughly his age following behind him, shakily. He looks kinda out of it. They both approach without a word, and you and Cotton get up to follow. Sapphire places a reassuring paw on Cotton's shoulder for a moment and then heads off in another direction.

Several darkened hallways and a flight of stairs later and you're waiting in some kind of plushly carpeted meeting room. A long wooden table occupies most of the space with a few other rooms farther in. You spotted a fancy office in one of them before J gave you a look that says you shouldn't be poking around.

You and Cotton settle by the large windows that overlook the main floor, watching furs mingle. It was fun for the first five or ten minutes, but as time wears on your anxiety about what's going to happen slowly ratchets up, fueled by increasing uncertainty about where you and Cotton stand. Why is it so hard to talk to her now? It should be easier! It doesn't make any fricking sense.

Cotton seems to be having a hard time with it too. At least, you think so. You're not really sure about anything when it comes to her any more, not after you missed something so colossal for months. The fact you're both just making small-talk and avoiding the whole reason you got sent up here means she has to be thinking about it too though, right?

Raccoon guy has just been sitting silently at the table, looking uncomfortable and occasionally shooting glances at J when he moves. You're not really sure why he's here, but you also don't really care.

Finally the doorknob to the meeting room rattles and you brace yourself for whatever comes next. Sapphire steps through first, now dressed in casual clothes, holding the door open for a food cart pushed by—

"Sis!?!"

You'd recognize that streak of brilliant yellow dye on raven black hair anywhere. She shoots you a smirk as J walks up to help guide the cart to the table.

"Hey squirt! Couldn't even make it one night before getting sent all the way to the boss' office, huh? You trying to make me look bad?"

You cross your arms and return the grin.

"I mean, did you expect anything else?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

Ouch. Okay, that has you feeling a little sheepish, even if you weren't the one that bent the rules. Cotton steps up to help J unload the cart and set places at the end of the table closest to the door. You take the cue and help out too. Sis hands Cotton some silverware and eases into a scowl.

"And you must be the famous Cottontail! Or maybe infamous, if what Fire tells me is true? Putting the moves on my baby sister, huh? Watch yourself, missy. I'm not about to let some random bunny girl steal her purity."

Cotton turns bright red and nearly drops a plate, stumbling through something halfway between an apology and an explanation. Sis holds the scowl a hair longer before dropping the act and ruffling Cotton's hair with a laugh.

"I'm just messin' with you! We both know Cherry is a little turd, and anything you can do will only be an improvement."

"Hey!"

"Shush. The responsible furs are talking." Sis extends a paw to Cotton. "Livewire, but you can just call me Wire."

Cotton accepts the offered paw, white fur in white. "Oh, um, hi. Cherry calls me Cottontail, so I picked that."

"So I've heard. She wouldn't shut up about you when we talked a few weeks back."

Cotton's ears perk up. "Really?"

"Oh yeah. Years since I've seen my little sister—[i]years![/i]—and all she wants to talk about is the bunny girl that moved into her neighborhood. It was all Cottontail did this, Cotton did that—"

"S-shut up! I did not just talk about Cotton."

"Ah! But you admit that you did talk about her!"

"Well, I mean... yeah."

"You talked about her a [i]lot[/i]."

Now it's your turn to sputter and blush. Sis just ignores you, casually waving a fork in your direction as she leans in towards Cotton.

"I don't know what you see in her, honestly. You could do so much better. I could set you up with this cute little ferret I know. She's about your age, well mannered, good family, smells better..."

Cotton actually smiles her little blushing smile at that last jab. You catch Sapphire and J suppressing chuckles too, out of the corner of your eye. Great. So that's how it's going to be, huh? Ooh, you're so going to get back at her for this.

"What are you even doing here? Don't you have something better to do?"

"I work here, thank you very much. And if you'd just managed to be a normal fur for one night I could have made it a nice surprise after you got accepted. But no!"

Sis pulls out a chair and offers it to Cotton with a dramatic wave, the bunny quietly coming to your defense as she settles in. 

"Um, actually, it's not Cherry's fault. I broke the rules."

"Fire told me. Pretty sure we can blame that one on Cherry too. Bad influence."

Sis directs you to the chair next to Cotton. You can see what she's doing, but trying to get out of it would only make it worse, so you roll with it. Sapphire sits down near the end of the table on Cotton's other side and starts passing plates to J, which he fills with heaping helpings from the trays on the cart. Cotton accepts a plate piled high with veggies before continuing.

"No, it was my decision. I wanted to do it."

J scoots the cart out of the way and sits down at the end of the table. Sis takes the seat to his right, across the table from Sapphire. The raccoon guy is directly across from you, an empty seat between him and Sis, looking a bit like a third wheel as you pass him a filled plate. J speaks between mouthfuls of some sort of stir-fry.

"That's an understatement. I turn my back for five seconds and poof, no more little bunny. Then I find you on top of Cherry, stripping in the middle of the lounge, your collar removed without permission..."

Cotton pokes at her vegetables sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I couldn't wait. She was kissing some guys, and they were going to... you know... and I had to tell her before that. But she was mad at me because I said all that dumb stuff about wanting her to go away, and that I didn't want to be bad, but I was lying."

J grins his big, goofy smile. "I thought you might have some interest in Cherry. Caught little looks you kept sending in her direction. Wasn't sure if that was just me projecting though. Figured my story might plant a seed for the future, and maybe it would keep you from ruining a friendship in the meantime. Didn't expect it to have such a dramatic effect though."

Sapphire makes a humming sound as she wipes her lips with a napkin and finishes a bite.

"I wondered a little too, though I was much less sure than J."

You stare at the ceiling and sigh. "Was this obvious to everyfur but me?"

Sis doesn't even look up from her plate. "Yes."

The table chuckles as you shoot her a go-to-hell look that she shrugs off effortlessly.

You can tell that Cotton is a little uncomfortable with all the attention, but every time you sneak a peek at her she's wearing that tiny little smile. It makes you feel... well it makes you feel a lot of things. They're not bad things though, right? Cotton looks at you for the first time since you sat down and it makes your heart rate double.

"I kinda wanted you to find out, but I was scared."

"D-did I do something to make you scared?"

Cotton seems surprised. "No!"

"Then why didn't you say something?"

"I wanted to! You make it look easy, just... doing what you want. But it's hard! I like being good. It used to be easy. I didn't want anything bad. And then I met you and I... I never wanted anything more in my whole life."

Cotton can't make eye contact for this last part, and you find yourself suddenly needing to take a long sip from your glass, despite not being thirsty. Thankfully she continues before you run out of water. 

"I couldn't be good and have you too, so I had to pick. I tried to figure out some way I could have both. Maybe I could make you good, and then maybe I could be good, and we could just be friends. Or maybe you would want me back and I could just let you... have me. But I was being dumb. I was scared. I was scared of going to hell, and being bad, and... just a lot of stuff."

You finally pin down one of the ideas that's been floating in your head since Cotton and Sapphire's conversation in the hall.

"Can't you just, like, do that thing where you talk to a priest and get forgiveness or some junk?"

Despite the soft tone of voice, you startle when the raccoon guy speaks. You'd practically forgotten he was there.

"It doesn't work like that, I'm afraid. Repentance is required for forgiveness. You don't get to use confession as a get-out-of-jail-free card. Well, not since the church stopped selling indulgences, anyway."

J sets his silverware down and gestures to the guy.

"Everyfur, this is... well, we haven't actually settled on a nickname yet. Let's just call him Priest for now. Given his history it seems like a decent placeholder. No real names down here."

The guy looks uncomfortable. "It has been a long time since I was worthy of that title. I've barely spoken of it for years, how could you possibly know that?"

"We do our research on all prospective members. You got flagged weeks ago. When we found out about your connections to the church the plan was to get you banned upstairs as quickly as possible. 

"Chester was the first to stick up for you. He didn't just vote against banning you from the cover bar, he actually wanted to card you—invite you down here. We thought he was crazy, but finding furs that fit is his main job, and he's got a track record to back it up."

Sapphire leans down to speak quietly to Cotton. "Chester is our barkeeper upstairs. Moose fellow. You'd like him. He's a big softy." Priest nibbles on some greens as he absorbs what J is saying.

"I see. Is it alright if I ask what 'down here' is? I'm still a little foggy on that point. She—" Priest gestures at Sapphire "—wouldn't explain anything, and you didn't seem to be in a question answering mood, before."

J's grin is strangely sheepish. "Fair questions. I'd apologize, but it's my job to keep this place safe, and sometimes that means thinking outside the box.

"Short version is we believe in letting all furs be themselves and enjoy each other's company, as long as they're safe, keep this place a secret, and respect every fur's choices. That applies to all sexes, orientations, and a wide range of ages, including those below what's legal." J points to you and Cotton. "It's their first night here."

Priest's eyebrows go up. "So, by [i]enjoy each other's company[/i] I assume you mean...?"

"Whatever they agree to and is safe. Sex included."

Priest leans back in his chair. You can't help but mess with him a little and waggle your eyebrows in his direction. You can see it hit the bullseye as he squirms. It's everything you can do to keep from snickering. J seems oblivious as he continues.

"You can see why we have to be selective with our membership, not only because every fur we add increases the risk of getting shut down, but also for the safety of our members, the youngest especially. We don't tolerate exploitation or abuse in any form."

Priest focuses back on J and you let him off the hook.

"I'm not sure how can you say that with a straight face."

Sis jumps in between bites and J cedes the floor. "I was skeptical too, when the club got started years ago. Things were a little different then, but nothing has changed about making sure furs make their own choices. I didn't think it could work. Didn't exactly have a lot of positive examples to go off of.

"My home life wasn't pretty. Dad drank a lot and beat my mother. Cherry tells me the drinking hasn't changed, though our mom left the picture when I was younger than Cherry is now. Not a great environment to grow up in. I tried to shield Cherry from our dad as much as I could, but no fur should have to deal with that kind of shit, and I was still a cub myself.

"Fell in with a bad crowd. Started doing drugs, and not the harmless stuff. Took something hard at a party one night. It let me escape all the shit from home and just go numb for a while. Felt good. So, I did it again. And then again, and again, and again. Before I knew it I couldn't do anything but think about the next hit, just like the pushers wanted. Obviously I couldn't afford to maintain the habit, so I started turning tricks for more."

You've never heard this before. You're too stunned to say anything. Priest seems more sympathetic than surprised.

"I was so far gone the first time I got whored out that I didn't even care. From there it was easy to just keep doing it. I became a toy for a bunch of thugs. When I wasn't busy with one or two or three of them they'd send me out to make some cash with the rest of their girls.

"I wouldn't go home for days at a time. Any time I did, it was a screaming match with my dad. If it weren't for Cherry I wouldn't have gone back at all. It was the only time I was sober. I couldn't let her see me like that—like our dad always was.

"It starts to get a little blurry around this point. I could tell that I wasn't making it home as often. I was losing track of time for longer and longer stretches. Then one day I went back and our trailer wasn't there any more. I talked to a few of the neighbors and they told me that my dad had pulled up stakes. No fur knew where he went."

You remember that night, how Dad came home extra surly, rambling about something, acting paranoid, throwing stuff and hitching up the trailer. You'd screamed at him when you realized he was getting ready to leave and didn't care that Sis wasn't with you. He just threw you in the trailer, slammed the door, and drove off. You spent the whole night crying while the trailer bounced and rocked, stuff falling out of cabinets and crashing to the floor.

"That kicked my legs out from under me. I thought about going to the police, but I didn't exactly have a high opinion of them, and the feeling was mutual. This also wasn't the first time Dad did this, it was just the first time he'd left me behind. He tended to rack up debts that he couldn't pay.

"I knew he'd keep a low profile no matter where he went. Probably change names again. I didn't give a shit about losing him. He was a bastard, and the older I got the more I hated his guts, but he took Cherry. Protecting her was the only thing that still mattered to me, and now she was trapped with my dad because I couldn't hack it... It was my fault. I..."

Sis trails off. You can tell she's having as much trouble keeping it together as you are. You feel Cotton's paw wrap around yours under the table. The contact catches you off guard, and as you glance in her direction you catch her face creased with sadness. You quickly look away to keep from falling apart, only to find mirrored expressions on J and Sapphire's faces, directed at Sis. It's too much, and hot tears roll down your cheeks. Sis starts to crack too, as she notices you.

"Hey now, don't you go turning on the waterworks."

"You picked the story" you croak in response. Sis manages a laugh, raspy and forced.

"Fair."

It's a few minutes before anyone can say anything. Sapphire pulls a bottle from the minibar in the corner, pouring Sis some wine and hugging her from behind before offering glasses to the other adults. You feel a little conflicted about seeing Sis drink, but figure now really isn't the time to make a big deal about it. It takes another minute or two, but eventually she returns to the tale.

"So, like you can probably guess, things went downhill from there. When I realized Cherry was gone, probably for good, I just gave up. Went back to the gang and let them fuck the shit out of me. I knew they didn't actually care about why I was such a mess after that, but at least they pretended long enough to get into my pants, and that was better than nothing.

"I don't know how long things went on like that. I just buried myself in the drugs and sex as deep as I could go. Only thing I really remember clearly was watching one of the other girls OD one night. She was even younger than I was. There was a lot of yelling about what to do before they eventually settled on dumping her somewhere.

"I remember thinking that's how I would go—choking on my own vomit while furs argued over how to get rid of me. A dark hole in my head told me it was what I deserved, and I believed it. I started looking forward to the day it would happen, pushing for bigger and bigger hits, hoping each one would be the last.

"I don't even remember the shootout that wiped out most of the gang. When I came around I didn't recognize where I was. There was this giant bear lady in the room. Scared the shit out of me. Took a while before I calmed down enough to listen, but eventually she explained what happened.

"Turns out my idiot crew had been messing with another gang, trying to take over turf. Eventually they pushed too hard, killed the wrong fur, and got a bigger response than they bargained for. The gang that wiped them out was the one that took me in—Momma Bear's crew.

"They cleaned me up. Took weeks. Felt like forever. Momma Bear spent a lot of time looking after me. I chewed her out and swore the paint of the walls, begged, cried, pleaded, fought, puked all over and spent nights soaking the sheets with cold sweat. It was the farthest thing from pretty, but she stayed with me through all of it.

"Spent some time getting to know the rest of her gang after I was well enough to walk around. They were in the middle of some shit. The fight with my old gang had forced an issue over leadership. Momma had been in charge of the whores for years, and had worked her way up to the boss' right paw before he bit it a few years back. She'd sorta just taken over by default after that, but there was some discontent about it, so every decision was political.

"Momma approved the hit on my old gang, but it didn't go down like she wanted. She didn't know there were cubs involved. As rough as my recovery was, I was one of the lucky ones. Bunch of others got caught in the crossfire. That almost broke Momma. She was trying to take things in a new direction, but not everyfur was onboard with the idea. Some thought she was going soft, or that she'd been too soft to begin with.

"So, Momma split the gang. She left the businesses to the agitators who wanted her gone, claimed most of the liquid assets for herself, and let everyfur decide who they wanted to follow. 

"It was about as bloodless as a coup could be. Nearly all the girls stayed loyal to Momma. I know it sounds crazy, especially if you've never lived in that world, but she was a good head misstress. A bunch of the barkeeps, bouncers, and nearly all the behind-the-scenes types stuck with her too. They were the good ones, relatively speaking. They bought into Momma's vision of something better than death and backstabbing, and made her faction big enough that it looked like too much work to just kill us all.

"The rough types all smelled opportunity. With Momma gone there was a power vacuum that any fur with balls could take a shot at. Even with most of their cash depleted they still had turf, street muscle to hold it, a reputation that said they weren't to be fucked with, and all the sources of income to replace what they lost.

"Momma made sure to point all this out to them, since most were too stupid to figure it out for themselves. If they'd known just how much money Momma was walking off with they might have felt differently, but every fur who knew was on Momma's side, and they weren't telling.

"So we split. I stuck with Momma, of course. Not like I had anything else to hang onto. We hit a new city, opened up a club, and started building things differently. First new rule was zero violence—as much as possible, anyway. No gang warfare, no hits, no 'insurance' scams, no skullduggery. Bouncing a fur who couldn't take no for an answer was about as rough as we got, and we've tried to stick to that.

"Part of pulling that off was going upscale. Momma picked us a good spot, right on the fringe between the high-class muckety-mucks with money to burn and the seedier parts of town where furs are open to having their paws greased.

"The fact we had underage furs from the old gang was a big part of our cachet. Lots of furs are willing to pay a premium for that kind of access, especially if we're discreet. That got us a reputation and customers early on, but it didn't sit right with Momma.

"After a little while she announced that we wouldn't be in the prostitution game any more. Any of the girls who wanted to stick around were offered positions as paid staff if they were old enough, and the cubs could stay or go, no strings attached. The ones that didn't stay got a big chunk of cash and an open-ended invitation to come back for any reason if they ever needed help. Most of us stayed. We didn't have anywhere to go. It's why we'd gotten singled out by the gangs in the first place.

"I don't know if you'll believe me when I tell you that Momma loved us cubs, and I don't mean that in any sort of sexual way. She got her nickname honestly, back when she was head mistress, making sure her girls were taken care of as best as she could manage. She wasn't always able to do right by us in the early days, even by her own standards, but to most of us she was Momma, and to any fur who messed with us she was every inch the bear.

"Getting out of prostitution left us with two issues. The first was the cold business problem of keeping the doors open. The second was the fact that a lot of the girls who decided to stay actually enjoyed having fun with the patrons, and kept at it even after they weren't getting paid for it. We had some long squabbles about what to do about that.

"Eventually the cubs talked Momma into the idea that we could make something better without becoming like the rest of society that had failed us. We landed on the model we use today. No fur pays for sex. No fur is a whore. Adults pay for membership in the club and keep the lights on.

"If you're a gentlefur and not an asshole, well, there are a lot of cubs looking for some fun, and they get in for free. We wanted a place they could do that and stay safe—to be treated like flesh and blood who can make their own decisions, not just a couple of holes on two legs, and not perfect little dolls devoid of desire.

"After a while we figured out that meant helping cubs learn about who they are, what they want, and the tricks that their bodies and other furs can play on them. It also meant keeping plenty of furs on staff to look out for the younger members while they figure that out.

"Then there are furs in positions like me, and Cherry, and so many others who are already being abused and need somefur to pull them out of it. That became the core of what we do. Realizing that was who we were—not a gang, or a bar, or a whorehouse, was what finally got Momma to believe in it herself.

"It's good you're suspicious. There are a lot of assholes out there that won't hesitate to exploit others, including cubs. This city is worse than most. Assuming you believe what I've told you about my history, I think we can agree that I know that better than you do.

"That's why you should listen when I tell you that I spent years carrying a VIP card for Cherry, searching for her in every city I visited, praying to any god that would listen that I would get the chance to see her again and bring her here. If there was a single shred of doubt in my mind that this place would harm her, I'd tear it all down myself."

Sis leans back in her chair and takes another sip of wine, her piece said. You'd gotten little peeks at that story earlier, but just the cub version. Knowing she never stopped looking for you, even after you'd somehow gotten it into your head that she'd abandoned you, leaves you more than a little choked up. Priest looks introspective. He barely moved for the last ten minutes straight. His plate sits mostly untouched, probably getting a little cold by now.

"That's... a heck of a story. I don't think I would have believed it if Cherry wasn't sitting right here. I'm still not completely convinced, but it's also difficult to believe that you're all performing some kind of elaborate act. If it is, you've all missed your calling. You should be in theater."

Sis makes an exaggerated bow, ducking her head and fluttering her free paw. Sapphire clears her throat.

"That's part of why we decided to try this. It's not the normal way we do things, but we realized that it made more sense for you, Cherry, and Cottontail to just talk to us together and get the truth, instead of trying to test you all separately."

Cotton beats you to the question. "Test?"

"Mhm. Our tests are more than just your bloodwork. Like J mentioned earlier, we're careful about who we let in, especially the adults these days. You and Priest had us worried for some of the same reasons, at first. We weren't sure if you'd turn around and tell somefur about what you saw here and get us shut down. We still haven't made all the final decisions, actually. We're taking some big risks tonight with the both of you, and our normal approach wasn't working."

Something seems to click in Priest's head. "That's what that was all about? In the room?"

"Yes. With both J and I. I'm the carrot, he's the stick. I... don't really like it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy playing as much as any of the other furs here, that's still my choice. What I don't like is the sneaking around and trying to trick other furs into telling us the truth. I understand why it's necessary. I do. I just like this much better. It's riskier. Maybe it will blow up in our faces and I'll regret talking J and Wire into it, but I hope not."

"I won't tell anyfur. I promise." Cotton's honesty is written all over her face. Sapphire smiles gently and takes her paw.

"I believe you. I think J does too. It's what we were worried about at first, but after you made your move on Cherry it's pretty obvious that we can trust you. But... that also made us worried about something a little different. We thought it would be good to have this little dinner with you for another reason."

Sapphire fixes Priest with an intense look. "I know you're still not completely sure about this place, and that's fair. Set that aside for a moment. I want you to address just one thing, and it's this girl who just accepted that she's going to hell because she loves another girl.

"We've actually done more than a little digging on you, and I think you're the fur she needs to hear from now. J told her about growing up denying this part of himself and how destructive it can be. I can tell her as much about her heats as we understand, but none of us can help her with this. We can tell her it isn't wrong to love Cherry, but the church says differently. What do you say?"

Priest stutters. "I-I'm hardly qualif—"

"Try. Anyway."

Priest sighs and dips his head as Cotton scoots forward, all her attention on the raccoon. He sits quietly for a pawful of seconds, collecting his thoughts.

"I don't really know what to say... I used to think I had answers, but the longer I've lived the less I'm sure about anything. I may still be a priest on paper, technically I'm on a very extended sabbatical, but I apostatized years ago. I don't know if anything I can tell you will do any good. There's a chance that all I can give you are more questions, because that's the only thing I seem to have these days."

Cotton's nose twitches as she absorbs this. "You don't believe anymore?"

"I'm afraid not. I don't know if there's a god out there, or if they are listening. I vacillate from one day to the next. I just know that I can't believe what the church teaches any more."

"Why not?"

"Well... that's a bit of a long story."

Sapphire smiles. "Long stories are what we're here for. I think I need desert for the next one though. Anyfur want some cake?"





The Club - 16 - Love Does Not Blind


Plates of chocolate cake pass around the table. You can't remember the last time you had a slice; birthdays kinda stopped being a thing after Sis wasn't around any more. The first bite is heavenly—fluffy, rich, dark, just the right blend of sweet and bitter. You let out an involuntary hum of satisfaction that makes Sis grin.

"Good, isn't it? We've got some great furs down in the kitchen. A lot gets made by the cubs though. They get points and free food if they help out on a shift. The real reason for that is getting them some experience in feeding themselves and working together, though the kitchen probably couldn't keep up without them. A lot of cubs who come here don't get square meals."

Priest nods as he finishes a bite. "I spent some time working in a soup kitchen. Seeing how much work it takes to keep even a few hungry furs fed is humbling."

"That where you started? In a soup kitchen? I don't really know how advancement works in the church."

"Ah, no, though it wouldn't be a bad idea for every aspirant to spend some time there. I went to seminary before my appointment as a priest, though I'm not sure if that's where I'd say I started either. I started like Miss Cottontail here, just a cub who found something they needed in the church.

"Something that surprised me after becoming a priest was how much variety there is in what furs get out of their beliefs. For some, it's comfort against the fear of death. For others, it's that everything happens for a reason, even after awful, unexplainable things happen. I'm curious, what does your belief do for you, Miss Cottontail?"

You sneak a peek in Cotton's direction and catch some cute smudges of chocolate around her lips before she wipes them away. Her nose scrunches as she considers Priests' question.

"Um, I'm not sure... I haven't really thought about it. I guess because... I like being good? It feels good to help other furs. Oh, and because I don't want to make momma or poppa sad, or hurt anyfur."

"All excellent, noble reasons. Making the world a better place is why the church should exist."

You snort and roll your eyes before you really think it through. Priest smiles at you softly.

"I see that your experience with the church has left you with a different impression. Would you mind if I took a guess as to why? Could it be that you feel it's judgemental and cold? Maybe disconnected from reality?"

You shrug and nod. Sounds close enough, and you didn't really mean to butt in.

"That's a common reaction, and there may even be some truth to it, I'm afraid. But I'm wandering off topic. You asked me why I no longer believe, Miss Cottontail, and Miss Sapphire wants me to address the problem of your faith and your love standing in conflict with one another.

"I'm still not sure if I can help with that. Like I said, I have more questions than answers these days, but I'll try. At the very least I can tell you the story of why I no longer believe, and maybe along the way you'll find something that helps with your conflict. My story also involves faith and love that stand against each other, though not quite in the same way."

You catch some movement out of the corner of your eye as Cottontail settles into a crosslegged position in her chair. It makes you want to slouch, just to say you're bored, and push back against giving the guy any authority. On the off chance he might help Cotton instead of hurt her though, you decide against it. For now.

"This was about, oh, ten or twelve years ago, I suppose. I was still in seminary at the time, working at the church where I served as a deacon. It was late, long after I assumed every other fur should have gone home, and I was frustrated. Some piece of my studies was eluding me. I can't remember the details now. Doesn't really matter, I suppose. What does matter is that I decided to take a stroll through the building, hoping that if I let my feet wander my mind would follow, and maybe I'd stumble across the answer I was looking for.

"As I walked the darkened halls, trying not to think too hard about anything at all, I started to hear what sounded like other furs. Curious, and hoping for some smalltalk with my fellow clergy, I followed the sounds to the back rooms. I moved quietly, enjoying the the peaceful stillness, until I found myself among the offices. It didn't take long before I no longer felt peaceful or still.

"It had become clear as I approached that some of what I was hearing was a young cub crying. As I stood there, feeling slightly guilty for accidentally intruding on some sort of private emotional moment, it became clear that it wasn't just crying, and it wasn't just a cub.

"Normally I wouldn't disclose these details to furs as young as you two, but given the circumstances it seems like it won't come as a surprise. As I stood before a closed office door I realized that a cub and an adult were engaged in... sexual congress.

"I wasn't sure what to do at first. It wasn't a situation I ever expected to find myself in, and I was rather unprepared for it. Eventually it became obvious that I couldn't stand there doing nothing, so I tried the doorknob, as quietly as I could.

"It was locked, of course, but I'd left my keys in a room a few times, and the janitor had shown me a trick. The building was quite old; nothing lined up any more, and the doors were all paw-made affairs. If you pushed a credit card into the gap between the jam and the door you could quite easily pop most of the latches open. So, after another moment's hesitation, I did just that.

"Inside I found a fellow deacon and one of the alter boys. I don't remember what any of us said. I'm sure it was a lot of nonsense and bluster. Of course there isn't really any recovering from being discovered like that, so the young boy gathered his effects and left the office with me while the deacon remained.

"I drove the boy home after he had a chance to dress and clean up a bit. His mother worked second shift, and his father wasn't part of his life any more, so no adult was home for me to speak with. After making sure the boy would be okay and admonishing him not to come back to church until we could talk with his mother, I left.

"I didn't sleep at all that night. The next morning I returned to the church to speak with the priest about what I'd witnessed. He assured me he'd deal with the situation, and after that I never saw the deacon again. It didn't seem appropriate to ask what had happened to him, so I let the matter rest, at least officially.

"The event left me shaken, however, and I began to notice things that I had previously dismissed. Cubs would behave oddly around certain members of the clergy, members disappeared and reappeared along with cubs, suspicious smells, that sort of thing. I told myself that it was paranoia, the devil attacking my faith, but I couldn't quite ignore it either. I continued to bring these suspicions to the priest's attention. He assured me that he would investigate, but nothing ever came of it and my suspicions only deepened.

"To make a long story short, I eventually discovered that the corruption extended all the way to the bishop of our parish. I worked with a priest from a neighboring parish to uncover the whole affair, which kicked off investigations into this sort of abuse across churches everywhere. It became one of the biggest scandals to rock the church in recent memory.

"For a while my faith was reaffirmed. Yes, it's true that members of the clergy had wandered far from their duties, but we had rooted out the evil from within our midst and triumphed over it.

"Since the position of priest of my church was now vacant, and for playing my part in exposing these crimes, I was ordained as the replacement once I completed my studies. Counseling the many furs impacted by the atrocities they had experienced became the primary focus of my work. I spoke to the cubs who had been abused, the former clergy who were now behind bars, their families, eventually I was even invited to speak to the Pope about it, which was a rather surreal experience.

"As time went on, however, cracks in my faith started to spread. As I spoke to the cubs who had been abused, a few of them asked hard questions that I didn't have answers to. Many were young boys, and I needed to address not only their abuse but also questions regarding homosexuality."

Everyone has been quiet, letting Priest tell his story with just the occasional nod or sympathetic hum, but you can tell Cotton's interest is especially piqued now, all focus and curiosity.

"I remember one boy in particular. He was a dedicated student with a voracious mind. He had a habit of responding to all my statements with the most basic of all questions: [i]why?[/i] and [i]how?[/i]

"At first the answers were easy. Why is homosexuality wrong? Because the Bible clearly states that it is a sin. Why is it a sin? Well, that one is a little harder. It doesn't follow God's plan. How? Well, because God built males and females to compliment each other. If we break that plan the relationship won't be healthy. How? Well that's when my answers began to get less satisfactory.

"I told him it was because males were built to lead and females were built to nurture, but even as I spoke the words they tasted sour. The boy kept pressing for examples of what was wrong for different genders. Was it wrong for a father to express his love for his cubs? Of course not, as long as it isn't sexual. What's an example of nonsexual nurturing that a father shouldn't perform? I had no answer to that question.

"Why can't women lead? Well, because their punishment for eating the apple in the garden of Eden was to be subservient to men. Wasn't it the punishment of men to labor in the field by the sweat of their brow? Yes, it was. Does that make machinery that eases work sinful? Well, no. Then why should men be allowed to ease their punishment and women shouldn't? I had no answer to that question either.

"What's an example of an unhealthy relationship between two men or two women? Well, if two men both try to take the lead they will fight all the time. Doesn't that happen between men and women anyway? Well, yes. What if the man is wrong and it hurts the family, isn't it good to stand up against that? It is. Can't two furs just work together? Why does one have to be the leader? I didn't know.

"What about two women? Double the nurturing doesn't sound all that bad. No, it really doesn't. What about if two women or two men are paired where one is assertive and the other nurturing? Doesn't that follow the plan anyway?

"The longer we talked the more I felt I should be listening rather than speaking. I thought about that conversation for a long, long time. I still do, honestly. It led me to one conclusion: if I was to have any hope of helping these boys deal with what had happened to them, I needed a fundamental understanding of real love and the proper roles of fathers, mothers, and cubs.

"So, I began my study. I felt a good place to start would be God's love for us. We are described as the bride of Christ, as well God's cubs in many passages. Surely we should find perfect examples of what these relationships should look like in these verses.

"I'll try not bore you with the theology, but after a lot of study and prayer, a conflict arose that I did not anticipate. Instead of finding deep truths about love in God's actions that I could use as examples, I just uncovered harder and harder questions about how God loves us at all.

"Eventually my questions came to hinge on a single passage. Jesus is speaking to a group of furs and presents them with a parable, as he often did. He asks if their cubs request a loaf of bread, would we provide a stone instead? If they ask for a fish, do we give a snake? Of course not. If we understand love that well then we should expect God to understand it much more perfectly, because he loves us like a father loves his cubs.

"This seems like the ideal passage to come to a greater understanding of love. Yet, instead, it mystifies it further. If you begin to examine God's actions as an example of how a loving father should treat his cubs, everything falls apart. This was around Easter, so the natural example of God's love that came to mind was Christ's sacrifice. What better example could there be than the very core of our beliefs?"

Cotton speaks quietly, quoting, apparently. "Greater love has no fur than this, that they lay down their life for their friends."

"Precisely. I'm sure you've heard that many times. But, when you look beyond the sacrifice and start to examine the requirement of faith, the example becomes twisted. Without faith the sacrifice cannot save. You must believe. That's a fundamental tenet that I'm sure you also know.

"Let me present a little parable of my own, if you'll humor me. If you were a father and your cub was walking blindfolded towards a cliff, would you stop them? Of course. You would do everything to prevent that. You would shout at the top of your lungs, physically grab them, and remove the blindfold to show them the danger.

"On the surface, this looks like what Christ did. The sacrifice is dramatic, and deep. Yet, add in the requirement of faith, especially for the thousands of years before and after Christ's death, and it stops making sense. Instead of a clear revelation of the cliff, today we have wandering cubs who have never seen their father nor heard him speak, surrounded by other cubs, all making claims that different furs were the father, or heard the father, or if there's a father or cliff at all.

"All these factions say that the others are lying. No one can seem to remove their own blindfold, or even determine if sight is real. Some claim they have seen the cliff or the father, but can't prove it.

"Meanwhile, even if we believe the cubs that make up the church, we must accept a father standing silently on the sidelines, choosing not to speak to us. The cubs claim that he has done so a pawful of times in all of recorded history, which, even if true, seems entirely insufficient. Even worse, this father is the designer of the system that leaves us blind so we cannot see the cliff, and he accepts that most of us will tumble over simply because we believed the wrong group of furs when they spoke about cliffs and fathers.

"If we accept that God built the universe and is all-powerful, then we must conclude that he could have given us senses to perceive heaven and hell, but he did not. He could have given us personal, irrefutable experiences with these things, but he did not. He could reach down at any moment and whisper even a single word to each of us to let us know that he exists, and he does not.

"This is an old problem that many have pointed out, but the argument is often presented in scarecrow fashion inside the church. It is oversimplified to make knocking it down much easier.

"The church frames this as a matter of choice, that God respects our free will so much that he gives us the choice to save ourselves or not. All we have to do is choose Christ to avoid the cliff—to avoid hell. Why faith is necessary in this choice is never discussed in the context of this argument, because requiring choice while withholding the facts needed to make an [i]informed[/i] decision is not a choice at all, and they know it. Admitting to these problems shatters the foundation of our entire belief system.

"Let me give one final example. If there were two pistols on the table here, one loaded, one unloaded, and I let you choose which one I would point at your head and fire, is your choice enhanced by not knowing which is which? Have I improved your ability to choose death by hiding which choice will kill you? Is it enough to have told a few furs in the crowd which gun is loaded, and let them argue about which gun to choose? Of course not. I have simply removed your ability to make any sort of meaningful choice at all.

"This is not an example of love that we can learn from or imitate. It suggests two possibilities: true love is completely unknowable and we have but a pale imitation, or the entire fundament of our belief is based on a lie.

"I'm presenting a slightly simplified version of this argument. We'd be here for weeks if we explored every facet and counter-argument, but this is the core of it. It is all a lie, or God is less like a father and more like Cthulu—driven by some higher form of love beyond our comprehension, and that looks nothing like our love. We cannot live by his example, only blindly obey his commands. We can say he loves us, but never know what that actually means.

"Blindly accepting authority and a statement of love was disturbingly similar to how the cubs of my church had been manipulated. In both cases the cub is given no ability to understand if the love is real. They are simply told they must accept that the actions pushed on them are those of love. If they refuse, they are threatened with dire punishment. If they accept, they are promised unimaginable pleasure. All of this is presented in the guise of a choice, but leaves them without the ability to choose at all. This is not love. This is grooming, followed by rape.

"As you can imagine, I found this deeply disturbing. I had always loved the mystery of the secret war I had chosen to be a part of, fighting for good against evil in a grand struggle spanning all of history, but the joy was in uncovering the mystery, not the mystery itself. Without an ability to understand and imitate God as the ultimate example of good, then one also cannot understand good or evil within the context of our religion, the war loses all meaning, and I lost all purpose.

"For a while I simply continued on momentum, like a cartoon character who has walked off a cliff but not yet begun to fall. But, eventually, I could no longer ignore the problem, nor could I solve it in a way that allowed me to retain my faith. So, I spoke to my Bishop and attempted to resign. He convinced me to take sabbatical instead, though the effect was the same.

"I spent a long time feeling lost after that. I took odd jobs to pay the bills, most rather humble since I had no real-world experience outside the church. That gave me a perspective on furs that I had lacked while I was a priest. By admitting I no longer had the answers, I was able to understand others' viewpoints without pre-judging them. It was... eye opening.

"While I still don't have many answers, I have come to at least one conclusion: it is better to believe that love can be understood than to accept that it is unknowable, because love is the foundation of everything good in this world. Without it, we are lost."

The table is silent for a bit, Priest's story apparently over. Cotton has that blank expression that says there's something filling her brain and she's not actually seeing the real world. You're surprised to find something new in your own head. It feels important. You can't quite wrap your paws around it, but after some thought you at least realize the question you want to ask.

"So did you figure out what love really is?"

Priest smiles. "I'm glad that's the question you asked. It means you were paying attention to the important parts of the story." He purses his lips for just a moment before he continues, hesitatingly.

"Some. I'm not sure if I've captured all of it. I've thought about it for a long time. It's a hard question, because there are so many kinds of love and ways of expressing it. I do think I've found two qualities that every kind of love shares, however. I can't tell you that this fully captures it, but I do believe this is at its heart.

"I've actually given some of it away in my two little parables. In the first, with the father who wants to save his cub from the cliff, we have to ask why he wants to prevent their fall. It's clearly motivated by love. If the father doesn't care enough to stop the tragedy from happening it's obvious that he doesn't love the cub. But why does he do it? What motivates him to respond, not just to prevent the tumble over the edge, but to act with haste and expend every available option?

"For a time I thought it was just a feeling that we couldn't further explain. The father loves his cub. He feels it, and that feeling compels him to act. I wasn't fully satisfied with that explanation however, because feelings are fickle. We've all had moments where we caused our parents exasperation. Does that mean that in that moment they stop loving us, because they feel something different? That doesn't seem right.

"Eventually I settled on a slightly better explanation. Love is when you expand the borders of yourself to include another. It's when somefur matters to you as much as you matter to yourself. When they hurt, you hurt. When they experience joy, so do you. Their victories are your victories, their struggles your struggles. The feelings are the result of this expansion—the effect rather than the cause.

"There are times when we don't have strong positive emotions about ourselves, but we still make choices that we believe will accomplish our goals and avoid problems, to better ourselves and our situation. When we love a fur we make choices for their benefit, even when it is not motivated by feelings.

"However, if we stop here we leave the idea of love open to a certain kind of distortion: where one party dominates and controls the other. If we believe something is beneficial for another and they disagree, is it love to force them into it? This doesn't seem right either. Maybe you see where this is going, given my second parable? The one with the two pistols?"

Cotton replies before you have a chance. "They need to choose, right?"

"Correct. Without choice there can be no love. Love does not force itself on another, it does not manipulate, exploit, deceive, or control. It asks. It invites. It offers, and it [i]informs[/i], because without all the required information there cannot be a choice at all. And, once a true choice has been made, love respects that choice.

"Different kinds of love add to this core, change how it is expressed, or accounts for differences in ability to make informed choices, but they must all include these two aspects.

"Coming to this conclusion leads me to believe that there is nothing that prevents two girls from loving each other, or two boys. You can argue that homosexuality isn't beneficial for other reasons, if you wish. I don't give these arguments much credence. What you cannot argue is that it is not love, and as long as a relationship is based on love, true love that does not exploit or control, then I can find no serious fault in it.

"Likewise, I cannot rectify this understanding of love with the actions of a loving God. It fails on both counts, and so I must conclude that something in the belief itself must be false. I don't know if you will find any comfort in that fact, Cottontail. Is it a relief to realize you will avoid hell because it doesn't exist, or is it terrifying to realize that heaven was never an option, and there is no one to look out for us but each other?

"I have felt both joy and pain in response to my own loss of faith. I don't know which will be greater for you, or even if you should accept my conclusions. Maybe I'm wrong. I have been wrong before. All I can tell you is that I believe that love, pure and untainted, in all its expressions, is important. It's possibly the most important thing in all of life.

"So, if you love Cherry, truly love her, and she loves you, then the fact you are both girls doesn't matter. Take some comfort in that, even if it means that you must now struggle with some new questions."

You can feel the edges of an answer to your own question in what Priest is saying, but something more important is distracting you. Cotton's brow is furrowed, and you don't like it at all. Where is that peace you saw earlier? Isn't this a win? At least a little bit? After saying she'd go to hell for you, why isn't this better? Priest seems to notice Cotton's expression too.

"I'm sorry I don't have better answers for you. Is there anything you'd like to ask? I feel like I've done far too much talking."

Cotton shifts in her seat uncomfortably. "No, thank you. I think... I just need to think about all of that, if that's okay."

"More than okay. I felt the same way. Take some time to let it settle in. I do have a recommendation, however."

Priest pauses long enough to make Cotton look up from the tabletop where her gaze had settled. He looks sad.

"Keep friends and family close to you while you come to terms with this, ones who know what's on your mind, and who love you. Talk to them. I tried to shoulder this alone, and it led to a very dark and hopeless place. Don't make my mistake."

You take Cotton's paw under the table, which seems to surprise you both. For a split second you wonder if it was the right thing to do. You've fucked up so much tonight. When Cotton looks at you with her big brown eyes and squeezes back, you're sure, and it feels good.

Sis quaffs the dregs of her wine and sets the glass on the table with a satisfied sigh. "Don't think any of us can follow up an act like that one, and it covers everything I wanted to know. Fire, J, any questions, or are you ready to vote?"

You'd nearly forgotten the whole reason you were here. J clears his throat and fixes you with a thoughtful look. You hope Cotton can't feel your heart pounding through your paw.

"Don't think I've got anything left to ask. Guess I'll start with you, Cherry. It's pretty clear you're a troublemaker, and part of my job is to watch out for furs like you. You pushed right up against the edge of the rules on multiple occasions.

"That said, looking out for troublemakers goes two ways. I've got as much responsibility for the troublemaker as I do the rest of these furs, and I think you're our kind of trouble. I don't think you'll hurt any fur, and I'm trusting you to respect their boundaries, despite dancing right on the edge sometimes. Don't prove me wrong."

You nod and swear not to. You even mean it, which is a little surprising. It seems reasonable, as far as rules go. Sis jumps in next.

"I'm not going to vote, for the same reason I stayed out of your tests at first. This place is home to me, and I want it to be yours too, but it's yours because you [i]belong[/i] here. I don't want you to ever feel like you got in just because your big sister pulled some strings. I hope that makes sense."

Dammit, she's going to get you all choked up again. You can't get all weepy and still manage to maintain your cool in front of Cotton, so you just nod. Thankfully Sapphire takes her turn before you have to say anything else.

"I agree with J and Wire. I think this place will be good for you and you will be good for it, especially with Cottontail keeping you pointed in the right direction. I guess that gives away my vote about you too, Cotton.

"I know you bent some rules with Cherry on the floor, but I can't imagine you doing something like that in any other circumstance. Our rules exist to protect everyfur, and I'm confidant you will learn from this experience. I can't see you as a danger to other furs. Just make sure your head keeps up with your heart and your heat, okay? If you ever need somefur to talk to about any of that, I'll be here for you."

Cotton squeaks out a thanks while J nods in agreement. "Yeah, can't blame you too much for your stunt when I was the one who was supposed to be watching you. If you'd explained it I probably would have given you the key, and that was your worst offense.

"Maybe you could have done what you did in a way that followed the rules a little better, maybe not. Either way, I understand your motivations, they were in line with the spirit of the rules, and that's important. We don't have to enforce the rules blindly. I've seen too much of that. Wire's right. This is a home, and I say you belong. I'll just have to remember you can be a sneaky little bun when you want to be."

Cotton blushes and ducks her head with an apologetic look while Sis smirks.

"Guess that just leaves me. I almost want to bow out for the same reason I didn't vote on Cherry. Not like I can be objective in your case, when you clearly mean a lot to my little sister.

"I think what makes it different is this doesn't seem like a place you'd normally stumble into without a little help, and I want you to know that you're welcome here. It feels right to make that official with a vote. You belong. Besides, gotta start things off on the right paw with my future sister in law, right?"

You can feel the heat rush to your face. Cotton glances at you at the same time you try to sneak a peek at her, which causes you both to quickly look away. Sis cackles. Jackass.

"That just leaves our raccoon theologian. Your take, J?"

"I had my doubts. No offense, but but adults are always much harder to figure out than cubs. We're too practiced with lies. I don't think you're the threat I was worried about though.

"Dunno what you'll do with the cards we've put on the table, and that's more risk than I like. Normally voting you in would mean we trust you not to rat. Don't have a clue what you'll do about that, but we're past the point of making that call.

"What [i]is[/i] clear is that we're on the same page about the safety and importance of these cubs. That's the only thing left to vote on, and I don't have any doubts on that point. Your story lines up with what we knew before inviting you down.

"Didn't have the whole thing, of course. Turning your whole life inside-out because God himself doesn't live up to your standards? That's new, but still lines up with established facts. Pretty sure it also makes you a front-runner for most trustworthy fur in the building, when it comes to the cubs. So, I vote yes. Fire?"

"I also vote yes. I wasn't too sure after our session together. I'm still curious about some of that, but I also don't think the way we were doing things was working.

"I'm worried too, about what you'll decide to do with what you know, especially since telling you all this now was mostly my idea. You might be a danger to the club, and that makes me feel sick, but J is right. You're no danger to the cubs, and that's what we're really voting on now."

Sis leans forward, elbows on the table, digits intertwined.

"Back around to me, then. I second everything J and Fire said, except being worried about what you'll do. The fact I can't predict your response isn't something that concerns me.

"As long as I can trust you to think things through, top to bottom, without jumping to conclusions, that's all that matters to me for the vote. I believe your story, and it tells me you aren't afraid to ask hard questions or make harder choices. You do what's right, and are willing to admit you're wrong. That's everything I was hoping for and more. So, I vote yes.

"That said, pretty sure you'll want to see the rest of this place before [i]you[/i] decide to accept, and that's fair. This is your decision too, and I'm sure you have more questions."

"That's quite an understatement."

Sis chuckles. "I'm sure. I'll let J give you the nickle tour and then I'll catch up. For now, I think Sapphire and I have two new junior members to get settled in."

J reaches into his pocket as he stands, tossing a key to Sis. "Sounds like you'll need this then. Welcome to The Club, you two. Don't be strangers."

The rest of the table follows J's lead and starts to clean up. God, you've been sitting so long your butt is half asleep. You limp on a prickly foot, helping to pile plates onto the cart as small talk and jokes start to bounce around. Before you know it you're making awkward parting remarks as J and Priest head down towards the first floor.

Cotton's expression still says she's all tangled up inside though, and it makes your chest hurt. You wish you knew what to say to fix it. You slip your paw back into hers as you follow Sis and Sapphire out to the second floor of the main room, overlooking the first. The mood seems to have slowed down a bit. Fewer furs are bouncing around on the dance floor, and more are clustered around the bar and lounge. Even the music is lower and slower.

Sis and Sapphire seem to be conspiring about something up ahead as you walk, muttering in low tones. Sis occasionally glances over her shoulder to grin at you, and you almost let go of Cotton's paw the first time, like you'd gotten caught sneaking snacks out of the pantry or something.

This thing between you and Cotton is going to take some getting used to. You're not even really sure what it [i]is[/i]. You came here tonight expecting to have a little fun with your best friend, but never expected it to be, y'know, [i]with[/i] her...

And maybe that's all this is? Is that what Cotton wants? You're still not sure how to fit this new Cotton into your picture of the old one, but you're pretty sure she wants something more than just a little bump and grind. Right?

And what about you? Is that what you want? Just have some stupid, sexy fun? Bang and then go do something or someone else? You suppress a shudder. No. That feels gross, for some reason. Cotton isn't some dumb guy you can raise your tail at and then forget about. The idea of... [i]using[/i] her like that actually makes you angry. You're not sure what that means though. If you're not just friends, and you're not just fucking, then what are you? Are you... are you Cotton's girlfriend?

That feels really weird. You've never really considered yourself girlfriend material. Not like you're going to let some stupid jerk turn you into a prize to show off to all his stupid jerk friends. You'd rather die than become some sort of brain-dead arm candy, all giggles and pink and frills and shit. No. Nuh-uh. Not happening.

An image of you and Cotton as wife and... wife flashes through your head, slaving away over housework together, a dozen adorable cubs packed into a little house in the middle of nowhere, every day the same as the last. There you rot, a domesticated soccer mom, except in all the ways no one will let you be, just because you don't belong to a pot-bellied, ass-scratching dude. That feels even more confusing. It's not [i]completely[/i] terrible, surprisingly, but still a lot of nope.

You're so distracted that you nearly walk straight into Sapphire's back. Apparently you've arrived at wherever you are going. Sis kneels to get down to Cotton's eye level, that smirk still plastered on her muzzle.

"Okay you two, Fire and I think you've had more than enough of other furs butting in tonight. You've gotten the full show. Normally we'd go a little slower and keep a close eye on you for a few more nights, just to make totally sure neither of you will take advantage of each other, but I've got the benefit of being Cherry's older sister. I might have missed a few years, and that's something I'll always regret, but she's still the same little shit I love under all that slick new fur dye."

You roll your eyes and grunt dramatically. Maybe becoming a member of a secret sex club where your sister works wasn't such a hot idea. Sis just sticks her tongue out at you before continuing.

"And while I do want to get to know you better, Cotton, this thing between you and Cherry obviously isn't a brand new idea that came to you an hour ago. Might've been news to my sister, but that's not surprising. I don't know if you've noticed, but she's not the brightest crayon in the shed. Gotta spell things out with small, simple words for her sometimes."

Cotton smiles her tiny little smile while you contemplate exactly how to enact perfect, sisterly vengeance. Sis takes Cotton's free paw and holds it palm up before covering it with her own.

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm the closest thing to real, blood family that Cherry has left. I'm trusting you with her, and I know I can trust her with you."

Sis takes your free paw and puts it in Cotton's before backing away. You feel something lumpy and metallic between your paw and Cotton's, and after a second you realize it's the key to the collar you're wearing. God, that was so incredibly cheesy and smooth. Sapphire kneels down on the opposite side from Sis, which gives you an excuse to drop Cotton's empty paw. You're warming up to the idea of holding one paw, but two feels like something out of a bad romance movie.

"I'm so glad you both made it. I was chewing my claws all night, scared something would go wrong and we'd lose one or both of you. She may be all cool and collected on the outside, but Wire was worried sick too. You should have seen her the night we finally found you, Cherry. She was pacing, laughing, crying—"

"Hey now, that's confidential club business."

Sapphire smiles warmly. "Oh, hush. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. And I know we just met tonight, Cottontail, but I can't help but worry over furs struggling with the things you are. We don't provide enough support out in the rest of the world for this, and you're so sweet and kind. You deserve better.

"It will take time for you to figure out yourselves and each other. That's normal and okay, as long as you remember to respect your boundaries. Talk it through, listen, be patient with each other, and move at a pace you're both comfortable with. If you need help figuring any of that out you can always come talk to me, or J, or Wire any time. Okay?"

Cotton nods, letting go of your paw and the key to give Sapphire a hug, which she tearfully returns. The moment lingers before Sis clears her throat to deliver a playfully stilted line, like she's reading off a script.

"Boy, it sure is late. You two should relax for a while and unwind. Oh look! This room is free. Here, it's on the house."

Sis unlocks a door and pushes it open. Cotton lets go of Sapphire to peer into the darkened room before Sis sweeps up behind you both and gently urges you inside. She steps back into the doorway with an expression you almost don't recognize, a sort of melancholy happiness that looks out of place on her face. Something about it seems weirdly familiar, though. A snippet of a memory slips past, and for just a moment she reminds you of Mom. Then the smirk is back and the memory dances away as Sis closes the door.

"Have fun!"

The door clicks closed and you and Cotton fumble around in the dark before you find the lightswitch and flick it on.

Oh god, now you get the final smirk. The room is cozy, plushly carpeted and softly lit, dominated by a large bed piled high with pillows. If that was all you might have been able to salvage some sort of dignity, but the collection of sex toys, lube, and condoms takes that idea down an alley and pummels it into a thin paste. Cotton glances at you, her cheeks and ears getting close to matching your fur dye. You sigh and hang your head.

"I'm so going to kill her."





The Club - 17 - Let Your Fingers Do The Talking


It took ten minutes before you both managed to sit on the edge of the bed. Not like there were any other options. After pretending to be interested in every other part of the room (except the sex toys which you both completely ignored,) you'd been reduced to awkwardly standing around. It was only a matter of time before one of you took the plunge.

Cotton managed it first, hopping up onto the mattress and folding her legs beneath her without saying a word. That just made it even weirder to stand around, and left you feeling like a bit of a coward, so after a moment of hesitation you plop down next to her. The comforter is soft and thick, puffing up slightly before slowly deflating as you settle into it.

The music still manages to penetrate the room (ugh, poor choice of words) so it isn't perfectly quiet, but it's still painfully obvious you're both avoiding the elephant in the room. Or maybe the room in the elephant? Or something? Yeah, fancy metaphors aren't really your thing. Priest can keep that turf.

You wrack your brain for an ice breaker, but there's really only one question you want to ask right now. There isn't any smooth way to ease into it... but what the hell, not like subtlety is your thing either.

"You okay?"

The bunny's ears twitch at the broken silence. It takes a moment before she replies.

"Kinda? I'm not really sure."

You grunt in acknowledgement. Figured as much. It's not really what you wanted to ask though. Or maybe it's not what you want to say? Ugh. Why is this so hard? Try again, dumb dumb.

"I'm... sorry."

Cotton looks in your direction. You can't quite bring yourself to look back.

"For what?"

"I mean, everything, I guess. All this." You gesture at the room. "I didn't mean to... break you, or whatever."

"You didn't! I'm really, really glad I came!"

You finally manage to face the bunny, her expression a mix of surprise and concern.

"Yeah, well... still not how I wanted it to go down. Sorry I fucked it up."

Cotton's paw wraps around yours.

"You didn't. Why would you think that?"

"Well, I mean, didn't I? I dragged you down here without telling you what it was, and then I stuck my hindpaw in my mouth and made you yell at me. Then J had to work whatever magic he did to try and save my ass, while I'm off in a corner thinking he's putting the moves on my best friend. God I was so mad at him."

"You... were mad at J?"

"Yes! I figured he was, like, being all suave and shit. I thought he was telling you how terrible I was, and that you deserved a better fur, like him. And he would've been right! I thought I was watching my best friend get taken away right in front of me, and that you'd hate me forever, and I deserved it. I thought I'd finally blown it all up, and I couldn't even figure out why."

Cotton's tail twitches, though you can't quite place the emotion behind it.

"I-I thought you were mad at [i]me[/i], and that [i]I[/i] messed it up. I wasn't really mad when I yelled at you. Mostly. I was just... sad, because I thought you'd never understand how I... felt about you. You kept flirting with J, and talking about all the boys, and I just wanted you... to look at me."

You put your face in your paws and drag them down your face.

"Ugggh. So stupid. The whole night, just walking around with all four paws in my mouth." A realization hits you like a sack of bricks. "Wait, was that why you got mad at me on the bus too?"

Cotton hunches sheepishly. "Um, yeah. A little bit."

You flop back into the bed, mumbling into the paws still clamped to your face. "So, so stupid." The comforter fluffs as Cotton lays down next to you.

"You're not stupid. I didn't tell you. I was scared, like I said. And then I messed up, even when I thought I was doing the right thing. I... I'm sorry too."

You roll to face Cotton as she plays with her paws nervously, staring at the ceiling, her face doing a bad job at hiding something in her head.

"For what?"

"For... kissing you, without asking. I just did it and I never asked if you wanted to, and maybe that means I shouldn't even be here because I broke the most important rule. I realized that when Priest was talking about... love. Even when I'm being a bad fur I'm not doing it right."

"Woah, hey, no. Stop. Don't do that."

Cotton turns her head to look at you, her pale blonde hair pooled around her face and long ears.

"Don't do what?"

"That. That thing you do when you get all twisted up because some fur told you you're bad. I hate it. I've always hated it. It's the whole reason I wanted to bing you here.

"I didn't really get that at first. I thought I just wanted you to have fun. And, like, I [i]do[/i] want you to have fun, but that wasn't what I actually wanted. And I never wanted you to be bad, either. You keep saying that you'll be bad for me. I don't want that. I never wanted that.

"All I want is for you to be happy, and not let a bunch of other furs just... talk you into hating yourself all the time. I didn't get what was messing you up. I mean, obviously. But I wasn't [i]completely[/i] stupid. I saw you all sad and, like, crumpled up, and I knew it was because some dumb fur made some dumb rule to stuff you in a box.

"I wanted to fix that. I wanted to fix [i]you[/i]. I just didn't know how. I still don't know, and I'm pissed every other fur tonight has gotten a chance to do that, while all I've done is fuck it up. [i]I[/i] wanted to fix you."

A look of realization crosses Cotton's face as she covers a surprised smile with her paw. "You took me to church."

"I... sorry, what?"

"You wanted the same thing I did when I took you to church. I wanted to fix you, and maybe me too, so I took you to church. Then you did the same thing, just opposite."

"...Huh."

You flop onto your back as you let the idea sink in. What a weird, backwards way of seeing things. The fact you bumped into a sad, ex-priest does kinda make it work though. A grin slowly spreads across your face as the absurdity of the idea hits you and you glance back at Cotton.

"Yeah, well, no offense, but my church is way cooler."

The corners of Cotton's mouth tug down as she tries to hold back a smile of her own.

"Maybe. A little."

"Wonder when mass starts?" You drop your voice an octave and grip an imaginary pulpit. "Tonight we will continue our study of Playfur, edition 113. Please turn to page 9, where we will return to our discussion of giant boobies."

That pulls a laugh out of the little bunny before she rolls to her side and punches you gently in the shoulder.

"That's awful!"

"Hey, your idea!"

Cotton's tongue flashes in your direction, chased by another little laugh. Much better. You get swept up in the moment, doing a few more bad impressions of church furs in increasingly raunchy scenarios, eventually making the little bunny cover her face while she blushes and giggles.

"Stop! That's so bad!"

"Fine, fine, but when it's my turn to dance at the holy pole you'd better put some money in the offering plate."

Her blush deepens. "Oh gosh, I'd spend my whole allowance."

You cackle at the ridiculous image, wearing some sort of slutty nun outfit while Cotton eagerly stuffs wads of cash into an overflowing plate. It's actually... kinda hot? And weird? Why is it weird?

You chase your tail a little on that, accidentally letting the quiet slip back into the room while you try to figure it out. The silence quickly gets distracting as you realize just how close Cotton is, her hair cascading across her happy face in soft little rivulets. You can smell her strawberry shampoo, and feel her body heat against your fur.

Your own face gets hot as you realize you were just cracking sex jokes while laying in bed next to a cute bunny girl. And you do actually think she's cute, don't you? When the hell did that happen? You watch her squirm gently while she seems to psyche herself up for something.

"Would... would you watch me too?"

Holy shit. There's that new Cotton again.

"...Y-yeah." Did you seriously just say that?

You can feel the mattress vibrate slightly as Cotton's tail goes nuts. "Really?" You rub the back of your neck, self-conscious, heart pounding.

"I mean, uh, sure. You're, like, the prettiest girl I know. Any fur would tell you that. You'd have half the building throwing money at you."

"But you'd want to watch too?"

God, why is this so hard? "...yeah?"

You can feel the tension in the little bunny as she opens her mouth and shuts it again, barely holding back a smile, expression tinged with flecks of worry, struggling to speak.

"So you, um, like g-girls?"

You shrug hesitatingly, trying to pass the answer off as casual, as if you aren't thinking about the context of the question. "Sure."

"Really? How come you never said so?" Cotton's eyes bore into you, full of curiosity and maybe even a little suspicion. Your heart thuds a little harder, worried you'll say something stupid.

"Well... I kinda figured it would freak you out? I guess? You're always so up-tight. Or, you were? I thought you were, I mean.

"I just thought it'd be too much, and maybe you wouldn't want to hang out if you thought I'd, like, perv on you? I figured you were off-limits. And, hey, that's cool. I'm not gonna try and smooth talk my way into some fur's pants if they're not into it. I'm not a creep."

Cotton's nose scrunches. "But... why did you flirt with J? And those other guys?"

"That's different. Like, they're guys. I knew they wanted it." Hang on, that's not right. "I mean, I thought they wanted it. Kinda fucked that up with J I guess."

"Did you... want them too?"

Geez. She's not pulling any punches, is she? How the heck do you answer that?

"...Kinda? I guess? Not like, 'cause I liked them or anything. They were just, I dunno, fair game?" That's not right either...

"Except the dudes on the couch, I guess. I didn't even really want them." You suppress a shudder at the memory of second-paw booze in your mouth. "I was just... angry, and sad and shit."

"So you don't really like boys?"

"No.

"I mean, sorry, no, that's not what I mean. I think dudes are hot too. Or, they can be? Some of them? But I'm not, like, looking for mushy shit. I'm not trying to get turned into some princess for a guy to stick in his castle or whatever. It's just a game. You get a dude all crazy, have some fun and... that's it. He gets what he wants, you get what you want, and that's all."

Cotton's brow is furrowed again while she absorbs that. Crap. You can't stop there. She'll think the wrong thing.

"But that's not what I'm trying to do to you or anything! I wouldn't ever do that!"

"But... why not?"

"Because you're my friend! You're not just some tail I'm trying to bag, or a notch to carve in my bedpost or some shit. That's just gross. You're s-special, okay? I'm not going to perv on you, I swear."

That didn't seem to help at all. If anything Cotton seems even more concerned and confused. Shit. Why can't you ever say the right thing? You want to take it all back, or explain better, or just... [i]be[/i] better, or something, but it's like you're underwater and can't figure out which way is up. You cover your face with your paws again.

"Ugggh! I'm fucking it all up! I don't know how to say the right shit! Just ignore me, okay?"

It feels like somefur has their fist stuffed down your throat. You can't cry here, you're already being such a huge fucking loser. You just lay there for a few seconds, trying to keep your shit together, when you feel the bed jostle and Cotton nestle up against your side, her arm hugging you gently across your midriff.

"I don't want to ignore you. Please don't be sad."

Fuck. There's no way you can keep it together now. Hot tears trickle out of the corners of your eyes to land on the comforter. Cotton can obviously see them as she squeezes you tighter. So stupid. Stupid, stupid you.

You just lay like that for a little while, Cotton curled up against you as you try to claw back the shreds of your dignity. You almost don't catch her quiet little voice when she starts to speak, her breath tickling your shoulder fur.

"You don't have to want me if you don't want to. Don't feel bad. I'll be okay."

Oh fuck no, no way in hell are you letting that slip by, dignity be damned. You push out a hoarse reply as quickly as you can manage it, trying to get a good look at Cotton's face but only managing the top of her head.

"No! No, that's not what I mean. I'm not, like, trying to friend-zone you or anything. I just... fuck, I don't know. I'm confused or something. I just don't want to pretend like you're some trashy little bunny I bang and then throw away, that's all. I'd die if I did that."

Cotton curls up against you tighter.

"So... you do want me?"

"Yes!" The reply is immediate, and feels right for one brief, perfect moment before the wooly confusion settles back on top of it. "I just... I don't know what that means. I don't know what you want me to be, or what I want me to be, or what I even [i]can[/i] be... What do you want me to be?"

Cotton finally looks up at you, surprised, glassy eyed, clearly trying to hide how close she was to crying, herself.

"I just want you!"

"But, like, how? Do you... want me to be your girlfriend?"

You feel the little bunny tense up and begin gently quivering as she whispers her reply.

"Yes. [i]Yes[/i]. B-but only if you want to be! Do... you want to be?"

There it is. The question you can't figure out. "I-I don't know. I don't know what it means. I don't know how to be a good girlfriend, or what being your girlfriend is supposed to be like, or what it means I have to do. What do you want me to do?"

"...I don't know."

Ugh. Great. More impossible questions. The quiet returns as you lie there, Cotton holding you, your brain thumping around in your skull on spin cycle, with no clue how to break the loop.

Cotton slowly relaxes against you, the weight of her arm on your stomach weirdly comforting as your breathing slows, syncing up with hers. The spin cycle slows with it, tumbling gently as you feel Cotton's chest rising and falling, syncopated with the gentle thumping of her heartbeat.

It should probably freak you out how close she is right now, but it just feels... nice. You lay there, slowly letting your shoulders un-knot, letting all the little sounds and sensations soak in, the warmth and softness filling some sort of hollow place you didn't know you had. Or maybe you just forgot you had it? You try not to think about any of it too hard, afraid it might break the magic.

After a few minutes Cotton ends the silence. "I just want you to want me like I want you."

You let that sink in for a bit too, trying to figure out what it means without locking up. It at least gives you a less impossible question to ask.

"How do you want me?"

Cotton's paw slides over your stomach as she tucks her elbow in tighter, then switches to smoothing out the ruffles in your fur while she thinks.

"I want to be with you all the time. I can't stop thinking about you."

You consider that. Memories from the past few months roll past in snapshots, starting with Cotton as just one of dozens of bunny faces you were trying to learn. Somewhere along the line you started to notice how much she was hanging around, slowly getting to know her as something more than just a face. Eventually you would notice when she [i]wasn't[/i] there, wonder why she was missing, and feel better when she showed back up again.

You remember noticing the sadness you couldn't quite pin down, the worry, the weight she'd carry around, and how you could make it go away for a while with some stupid joke, or a smile, or a story, or just hanging out and doing nothing at all.

You remember how good it felt to brag about your little bunny clan when Sis showed up out of the blue, and to talk about Cotton especially, just to show her off to another fur that mattered to you. You must have done that more than you realized, based on what Sis said at dinner.

And then there's the fact that you're here, tonight, just the two of you. You didn't bring any other little bunny. Didn't even think about it, honestly. You remember the excitement you felt when she tried to invite you to church for the hundredth time, and you realized you could trade a little boredom for the perfect excuse to come here with her.

When [i]haven't[/i] you been thinking about Cotton, lately? Where have you gone that you didn't want her to follow, to bring her with you?

"I think... I do that already. I think about you a lot. I kinda didn't even realize I was doing it."

You can feel Cotton's paw trembling slightly as she continues to brush your fur. It gets quiet again, but it doesn't feel oppressive any more.

"I want you to think I'm special."

Of course she's special! Why wouldn't she be special? Oh, wait, no. You forgot to reverse it. She wants to know if... you want to be special? To her? That one's a little loopy, but okay.

I mean, you don't want to be just some random fur to her, for sure. Do you want to be special? A favorite? How do you even prove that? Oh! Hang on...

"Huh. I mean, I guess I want that? I think that's why I wanted to be the one to fix you? Or, y'know, make you better. I wanted it to be me. N-not 'cause I wanted you to, like, pay me back, or kiss my feet, or think I was cool or whatever.

"Or, maybe I did want you to think I was cool? But not, like, just to be cool. I wanted to be the one who... showed you how to get better. I wanted to help, to [i]show[/i] you that I wanted to help, that I knew what it was like to be trapped and not know how to get out. I wanted you to know that [i]I[/i] gave a crap, even if no other fur was looking. I wanted you to know that [i]I[/i] was looking. I was looking. I saw."

It feels amazing to say that, to tell Cotton that's what you want, even if you kinda fucked up actually doing it. You can feel the thrum of Cotton's tail through the bed again. The quiet isn't uncomfortable at all this time. You're just eager to hear what Cotton wants next.

"I want you to think I'm pretty, and s-sexy."

H-ho. There's the new Cotton peeking through again. Or, the parts she just didn't let you see before? That she didn't let anyfur see? It makes your chest hurt, in a good way, to know she's sticking her toes out of that box, even if it's just her toes. It makes you want to scoop her up and squeeze her.

But right, answer the question. Flip that around and she's asking if you want to be sexy for her? Oof. That's another hard question. Why is it so hard? You've never had a problem being sexy before. Hell, it's kinda fun to swish your tail a little and make some dumb dude's eyes fall out of his head.

Why is that so different with Cotton? Why does it feel... gross? Wrong? Bleh, stupid impossible questions. How the heck are you supposed to answer that for Cotton when you can't even answer it for yourself? How did you work your way through the last hard question? Just ask more questions? What should you ask? Maybe just flip the question around again? Turn it inside-out or something?

"You think I'm sexy?"

Cotton's reply is just a whisper as the quiver seems to travel from her paws out to her whole body.

"Yes."

She really means that, doesn't she? Why? You've never, ever tried to put the moves on her. Heck, you didn't think she'd even be interested. You've never flirted, or made a pass, and you've [i]definitely[/i] never made creepy comments or tried to push her into anything.

"Why?"

It's quiet for a while again. You can wait. Not like you're going to blame her for thinking hard when you were having trouble with her question too.

"You just... are. You're b-brave, and kind, and funny, and cool, even when you're dorky."

"Psh. I'm never dorky. This is 100% pure, grade-A cool stuff right here."

Cotton giggles and snuggles closer, her voice getting a little softer.

"And you paid attention to me when I was just mixed in with the rest of my family. You tried to help even when you didn't know how, and when I was dumb and yelled at you, or when I tried to fix you and you didn't like it, or when I was a big crybaby."

She's back to a whisper now. You lean in, trying to catch what she's saying.

"And you make me crazy. Every time you hold my paw, or sit next to me, or I smell your fur wash, it makes everything inside me tingle. I feel like I can't breathe. I think it's part of my heat. Miss Sapphire says stuff like that can happen."

Jesus. Just [i]touching[/i] her? Being close? That's all? Hang on.

"Am... I doing it right now?"

Cotton buries her face into your shoulder and hugs you so hard it almost hurts. Her leg slips up on top of yours.

"Yes."

Holy fuck. Like, [i]holy fuck[/i]. "Do you want me to stop?" How would you even stop if you wanted to?

"Never. Never ever." Cotton's grip relaxes slightly. "Unless you don't like it."

Your brain feels dangerously close to short-circuiting. You just... you had no idea. Do you like it? Do you want this? Wait, isn't this back around to the hard question? Do you want to be sexy? To Cotton? For Cotton? For yourself? For both of you?

"I-I don't [i]dislike[/i] it." Wait, no. "I like it because you like it.

"No, that's not right either..." Closer... "I want it because you want it too." That's it. That's what you want.

Cotton's snuggle tightens again, her quiver doubling. Actually, you might be shivering a little as well. Her thigh slides higher, over the smooth leather of your pants, her fur hissing quietly as it goes, the hem of her dress bunching around her hips. You almost can't speak the words...

"H-how else do you want me?"

The pause feels like forever, not because the silence is awkward, but because you can't get to the answer quick enough. Cotton's face tips up towards yours, inches away, pupils wide, her heart hammering in the ribcage pressed to yours.

"I want to kiss you."

You don't even have to think about how to flip that. Your lips are pressed to hers, arms wrapped around her delicate frame, her soft fur, her silky dress, sinking down to meet her, pulling her up into you, clinging to her as she clings to you, burying yourselves into each other.

You kiss her desperately as she does the same. Your lips open and you satisfy your earlier curiosity, a curiosity you'd barely recognised. You feel Cotton's lips part in reply and you taste her, feeling her breath connected to yours as you gasp, break contact for air, and hungrily reconnect.

She licks your lips. You do the same. She traces the foreign contours of your teeth, and you hers. Her tongue brushes against yours, strangely smooth, hesitant at first, gentle, then increasingly insistant. You respond in kind, surprising her with a suckle, earning a giggle in the process and then letting her try the same for herself.

Cotton rolls on top of you and you let her, her legs straddling one of yours. You almost can't believe how light she is, or how hard she clings to you despite that. She pushes her muzzle up into yours with a soft, breathy sound, once, twice, a third time before pulling back. You rise to follow, but she pushes you down, propping her paws against your shoulders, breaking the kiss with a wet pop.

"I w-want to take off your top. Please."

Hello, New Cotton. Welcome to the world. You grin like an idiot, arch, reach behind your back and undo the clasp for your top, then splay your arms to let her do the honors.

Her little paws tremble as she leans forward and daintily grasps the corners of your bikini top. She starts to lift, slowly, hesitantly. You can feel the smooth leather sliding over your fur, the firm trailing edge sliding up along the bottom of your breasts, stopping just shy of your nipples.

The movement ends, except for the tremble. You lay there, captivated, letting Cotton work up the nerve in her own time. Her paws shift, stubby little claws working up under the lower edge of the top, sliding inwards, lifting the leather just off the surface of your fur. Her paws hover over you, pushing the top up, over, and free, to fall back against your sternum.

The only thing between your bare breasts and Cotton now are her paws, floating above you. She stays like that for a bit, hovering, breathing a little harder, half frozen, unable to retreat, uncertain about how to progress. You feel a little self-conscious, the naked desire somehow making your own nudity feel more significant than you expected. The tension is almost unpleasant. Almost.

You reach up to place your paws over hers, her gaze shifting up to your eyes, full of an unspoken need for permission and reassurance. You gently guide her downward, easing her into contact.

You almost didn't realize how hard your nipples had gotten while you waited. Feeling Cotton's soft, warm paws against them makes that clear, to both of you, a little gasp escaping the bunny as you draw her against you and hold her there.

It's strange, feeling some other fur touching you like this. Something whispers that it's also weird that it's Cotton, and maybe that's true, but you also don't really care right now. You don't even really care why you don't care. You chuck the question into the 'shit to figure out later' bin as you start to feel a little more like yourself.

"Wanna peek?"

Cotton startles, pauses, and then nods rapidly, ears waving, trembling paws still locked in place. You laugh.

"Well, go on."

You put your paws behind your head and scooch deeper into the comforter, a lopsided smile creeping over your face.

She doesn't do anything for a bit, which gives you a chance to watch the emotions play over her face. Excitement and uncertainty seem to be in a bit of a wrestling match. It's frickin' adorable. One seems to win out and you feel her weight shift as she slowly leans back, arms pulling straight until her paws just can't stay where they are any more and gently draw down your chest. You feel the tips of her digits tickle over your nipples as they go, and let out an involuntary giggle. Jesus, did you actually just do that?

Seem like maybe Cotton didn't notice? Thankfully? She settles into fully straddling your thigh, entranced. You were planning on making some sort of wisecrack, but didn't expect to have your attention drawn away by the feeling of Cotton's knee creeping up to rest gently against your crotch, or her butt and... other parts settling against you, tail vibrating. Uh, yeah. That's... that's a little distracting.

The sound of a zipper brings you back to reality as the little bunny holds one arm across her chest, the other opening the back of her dress. One of the spaghetti straps tumbles off her shoulder along with a cascade of blonde locks as she gets back into position, barely anything holding the slinky black silk over her soft white fur. It's almost enough to make you miss the first tiny little hump against your leg. At first you think you must have imagined it, but the second is stronger, more insistant, sliding farther over the thin leather of your pants.

"H-holy shit."

Now it's Cotton's turn to smile, cheeks and ears reddening as she speaks.

"Um, want to peek?"

That takes a second to process. Right, you're still flipping stuff around. Cotton took off your top, which means... You swallow. She's actually offering what you think she's offering, isn't she?

Of course she is. Not like you don't know where this is going. You're not [i]that[/i] stupid.

Another little hump slides against your leg, paired with a breathy huff that does crazy things to your... everything. You sit up, curling your free leg around and gently pressing the other one up into Cotton. You didn't really think about it. You were just trying to get the little bunny into arms' reach, but the hump and gasp that answers you makes it clear that the pressure is more than welcome.

Full thoughts aren't quite assembling any more. Cotton seems to get the idea of what you're trying to do, shifting to let you tuck into a kneeling position. She starts to stand before you grab her and pull her close, back into your thigh. You slide forward, closing the distance and slipping your own crotch over her knee. The contact makes you grunt as you roll your hips, mirroring the humps you feel against your own leg.

Happy little noises fill your ear as Cotton's arms wrap around your back, tucking her forehead against your shoulder before starting to plant little kisses in a trail along your collarbone. A purr starts to build in your chest, almost knocking you out of the moment in surprise. You haven't purred since... you can't even remember.

The cute bunny sounds and kisses continue, slowly concentrating in the tender area where your neck and clavicle meet, just below the collar you only now realize you're still wearing. You try to hold back but can't quite manage it; the pur breaks free and starts to thrum inches from Cotton's lips. It's embarrassing, but feels amazing. Cotton actually pauses as it catches her off guard.

"D-dont stop."

A tiny moment slips past and the kisses resume, a paw sliding from your back to stroke across your sternum, wandering between your breasts as your purr surges and dips with the rocking of your hips. You take the opportunity to make your own exploration, carefully but hungrily running your half-extended claws through the short fluff along Cotton's back.

The teeth of the dress' zipper snag against your forearm fur as you go, feeling her muscles tense and relax as she clings to you, ripples of ribs rising with each gasping, shuddering breath. You let your paws slide lower, following the V of the zipper as it comes together just over the small of her back. All forbidden territory from here. You slip over the border, from fur to silk, except for the little nub of fluff going to town between your paws. It rolls like a little sailboat on stormy black seas as Cotton grinds herself against you.

You've never actually touched Cottontail's namesake before. Not like you ever had an excuse, and asking would have been weird. Now your curiosity gets the better of you, gently wrapping one paw around the fluff and stroking outward. You can feel the little nub somewhere in the center freeze as Cotton gasps and her leg tenses beneath you.

"Sorry! Did that hurt?"

"N-no."

"...Do you want me to stop?"

A shudder ripples through the bunny. "No."

A wicked urge to play with the little bunny creeps over you as you place both paws flat against a surprisingly soft butt, cupping her tail between the crooks of your thumbs.

"So you want me to keep going?"

Cotton's hips rock against you, hard.

"[i]Yes.[/i]"

You gently squeeze the little bottom under your paws and pull Cotton against you. "Tell me what you want."

Cotton's forehead comes to rest in the crook of your neck, breath spilling over your chest.

"Play with my tail."

You feel a hard clench somewhere in your nethers. God, that's hot.

Cotton's hips resume their regular humping as you grasp the base of her tail in one paw, slowly letting the fluff pass through your digits as you tug outward. The little nub resumes wagging happily as you pull on it gently, alternating paws back and forth.

The urgency of Cotton's humping picks up and you match the pace, left, right, left, right. 

"H-harder, please."

You tighten your grip slightly, pulling more firmly on each stroke. The humping gets more urgent, each thrust pushing into your thigh.

"Harder."

Dang. But okay. Bunny gets what bunny wants. You almost pinch the wagging core on each pass, getting a good feel for its shape under all the fluff for the first time. The thrusts are short and hard now, almost desperate.

"[i]Harder[/i], please!"

You stop making individual strokes and grip the tail in your paw, gripping the fur at the tip to pull on it in time with each thrust. Faster. Hump, tug, hump, tug. Cotton's breath catches and puffs over your fur, chasing soft whines and little moans that make your vision tunnel. Harder. Hump, tug, hump, tug.

Just as you start to worry that maybe this is going a little too far and you're going to hurt the little bunny, Cotton's breath stops as she grips you tight, hips grinding against you in quick little bursts of three or four followed by a short, hard press. On the second press, a raspy, almost keening squeal squeezes out of the girl, trailing into sharp breaths as you let go of her tail and pull her even tighter into you on each desperate, squealing, moaning hump.

After the forth or fifth set, Cotton collapses against you, shaking, breathing hard, little shivers shooting through her between breathy, shuddering laughs, almost hysterical. You can't help but join in.

"Th-that good, huh?"

Cotton's head nods against your chest as she catches her breath. "Uh huh."

You hold her while she recovers, your own arousal still burning, sharp and bright, but also deepened somehow, like a low rumble you can feel in your whole body. Knowing you just helped push Cotton over the edge satisfies something inside you. It makes you want her in ways you can't even quite put into words.

Cotton gingerly disentangles herself from you, rolling to lie down, still panting and shaking slightly. You do the same, stretching out across the foot of the bed, your thighs burning from holding the kneeling pose. You reach down to kneed sore muscles, brushing over a distinctly wet streak on the leather.

You bring your paw up absentmindedly, rubbing thumb against index finger, a thin strand of sticky, glistening moisture stretching between the digits as you separate them.

"S-sorry."

You look over at Cotton who is once again beet red, apparently mortified by the little present she left you. You just grin and stick your digits in your mouth, making a show of sucking them clean.

"Ew!"

You cackle. "What do you mean, ew? It's a little different from mine, but not like it's bad or anything."

"You've... tasted yours, before?"

You shrug. "Sure. Little extra lube never hurts when you're flicking the bean. You've never gotten a taste? Not even, like, by accident?"

Cotton shakes her head. You're surprised, assuming everyfur your age would have had the experience. Every girl, anyway. Curiosity mixes with the cloud of arousal floating around your head.

"So how do you do it?"

"...Do what?"

"Y'know, jilling off."

Cotton's expression is blank. No, she can't be serious. "Playing the pink violin? Buttering the muffin? Going to the clam bake?"

Still nothing. Holy crap. "You've never touched yourself? Y'know, down there?"

Finally a spark of recognition, followed by more blushing. "Oh! Um... no? I mean, not really? S-sometimes I have dreams, and I... do things... with a pillow, when I'm asleep."

"Wow. Just... wow. I mean, maybe I should have guessed, but I thought everyfur would have figured out the electric slide by now. You've really never pawed off before?"

Another shake of the head, curling up into hunched shoulders. God, that's adorable. Hang on.

"Could I... teach you?"

Cotton looks almost shocked for a moment, before slowly settling into an expression you could only describe as eager, followed by some tiny nods. You swear if she gets any cuter you're going to cum just from watching her, and holy shit do you need to cum. The only thing stopping you is how hot it will be to introduce her to five fingered fun time. You grin like a cheshire as you clap your paws together and sit up.

"Awesome! You're gonna love it! Way better than a pillow. Er, or maybe just different? I dunno. I like going for a ride sometimes too. Depends on what you're in the mood for."

You glance around the room while Cotton sits up next to you, watching as you try to figure out how best to kick things off. Your eyes settle on the pile of pillows at the head of bed, covers neatly tucked and folded.

"Guess we'll go with the classic bedtime version. C'mon."

You crawl up to the pillows and toss the extras to the floor. Who the hell needs so many of these, anyway? You pick out one for your head and offer one to Cotton before awkwardly un-tucking the covers and slipping under the cool sheets together, face to face. The intimacy momentarily knocks your paws out from under you. Nearly your entire field of view is filled with nothing but Cotton.

You just sit there for a moment, staring at those big brown eyes, the cute little pink nose, and all that long, gorgeous hair. Her expression is really what does you in though, some kind of indescribable mix of curiosity, excitement, little sprinkles of shyness, and somewhere just under the surface you swear you catch a glimpse of a whole lot of horny. You feel tongue tied just looking at her.

"I, um... s-so to start we need to... uh..."

You fumble around, trying to figure out what the first step is. You feel like 90% of your brain just went out to lunch. The remaining 10% seems to be yelling something about how uncomfortable you are. After a few seconds the part that's wrong finally clicks.

"Uh, first, I need to get out of these pants. Hang on."

You reach down to fumble with the snap, which isn't cooperating at all. Stupid, sexy leather pants. The sheets getting all tangled up isn't helping either. This would have been a lot easier if you'd undressed [i]before[/i] you climbed under the covers. You roll onto your back, tug and grunt as you fight to get free, swearing under your breath, the garment seeming to take perverse pleasure in resisting.

Cotton pipes up. "Here, let me help."

She disappears under the covers, becoming just a roving lump. You watch it slide down, and then over top of you. Soft paws gingerly come to rest on top of yours. It nearly makes you jump. Something about not being able to see makes the little touches feel... bigger? More intense?

You part your paws to give the bunny access to the fastener. Nothing happens for a moment, and then you feel a little pull against the beltline of your pants. No dice. Another pull, still nothing. You start to concoct some sort of curse against the pussy-blocking trouser gods when you feel fingers gingerly slip into your low waistband.

It's a tiny thing, but the combination of being ridiculously horny, only being able to feel what's happening, and the simple proximity to your delicates makes everything down there squeeze, hard. You let out a little involuntary grunt as you feel a paw grasp the snap, pushing down into your pelvis slightly while trying to get a good grip.

The pop of the fastener separating nearly trips your trigger. Holy fuck you want to cum. The paws retreat, waiting for you to finish undressing, apparently.

"Uh, think I might need a little more help. It's... really tight."

The lump doesn't move for a few seconds, then shifts slightly, pauses again, and then you feel the zipper slowly slide down. You have to bite your lower lip to keep from moaning, but it's over all too soon.

Then there are paws at your hips, pulling at the beltline. You raise your hips to help things along, wiggling to free yourself from the grip of the leather. It slips over your rump, and then down your legs, all the compressed fur relaxing back into its more natural arrangement. You sigh as the bunched pants slip down your thighs, calves, and then with a few more tugs the pants, your socks, and shoes come off together. You're free. The sheets are so soft it almost tickles. It feels glorious, and you take the opportunity to bask in the simple pleasure.

You're so lost in the moment that you nearly miss how the lump pauses on its way back up, hovering at the halfway mark. You start to ask what's up when you realize that even though [i]you[/i] can't see anything, Cotton can see plenty. Sneaky little bunny is checking you out. Well if she wants a show...

You run your arms up along the smooth bedding, arch your back and spread your legs, feigning a stretch with an appreciative hum. A cool, damp feeling announces that Cotton wasn't the only one soaking your pants.

"Ahhh, that's so much better."

The lump twitches, slides forward a little, then stops. You almost can't hold back the laugh. You roll onto your side, one leg raised and bent at the knee, paw on hip, trying for your best bikini photoshoot pose.

"Need a minute?"

That gets a little jump, and the lump hurries back towards the top of the bed. This time you do laugh. Cotton reappears along with a slightly musky wave of warm air, hair fluffed out and messy, looking abashed. You just grin.

"Thanks for the help."

Cotton blushes and smiles that cute little smile of hers. You can feel your nervousness  returning, and rush to find something to keep the momentum going.

"So, uh, what do you usually wear to bed? I don't think I've ever seen you in your jammies."

"Um... well, it depends on what's left. If I was late to change, or it's all dirty, sometimes I just sleep in my daytime clothes, if they aren't the nice ones."

"Ah, right, 'cause you have to share."

"Mhm. I used to wear big t-shirts when I was little. Most of them are too short now though, and, um, we don't really get very much... privacy."

The beginnings of a fantasy with Cotton in a slightly too short t-shirt collapses as the reality of never getting a moment alone sinks in. Maybe it's not so surprising that she hasn't ever pawed off.

"So you don't ever, like, just sleep in your underwear?"

Another blush. "N-not in a really long time. The really little kits do that sometimes, in the summer when it's hot. We aren't supposed to do it when we get bigger though, and ever since I met you I, um, have been having... dreams."

Pieces slowly click into place: waking up in a shirt too short to cover anything, a tiny trailer full of brothers and sisters all sleeping in a pile, dozens of eyes that might see something you don't want to explain, accusations of wetting the bed from little cubs, knowing laughs from older siblings poking fun... yeah, okay, a lot of stuff is really not surprising at all any more. Jesus, how do any of them keep from going crazy?

Then there's the other tidbit tacked right on the end there, the 'ever since I met you' part. Have you been giving Cotton dirty dreams? Maybe even her first one? That's what she's implying isn't it? That's actually really hot, and crazy flattering. You almost want to ask for more detail, but another idea crosses your mind first and plasters a grin on your face.

"So I guess you've never slept naked before, huh?"

Cotton pulls the covers up over half her face as she shakes her head.

"Oh man, you've gotta do that at least once. It feels, like, so [i]free[/i]. I sleep in my panties most of the time, but naked is great."

You hope she gets what you're trying to suggest. Coming straight out and saying it feels like way too much. You can see the wheels spinning behind her eyes, so it seems like she probably got it. C'mon, Fluffybutt.

"Um, you never took your turn."

Huh? You try to fit that sentence into what you were just talking about, but can't quite manage it. Then it hits you: you were supposed to take off her dress earlier and got completely distracted by everything else. You almost facepalm. She wanted to know if you wanted to see her naked, and you totally left her hanging. Smooth. Real smooth.

Bringing that up now though... she's trying to answer your question, right? The one you didn't ask? And you still owe her an answer to almost the same question, right? It's not too late, is it? She still wants to know? If you want... to see her naked? You look back at her face, and there's that curious eagerness again, eyes locked to yours.

Yeah, she still wants to know.

You scooch up a little closer, weirdly hesitant to do things to Cotton that you were more than happy to let her do to you. Your heart rate picks back up as you reach out under the covers to brush one of your paws over her thigh, cautiously trying to find the hem of her dress. Something about not being able to see anything but her face makes the whole thing seem like an even bigger deal, which doesn't make any sense.

Cotton's expression just cranks things up even higher, a little bit shy, a lot excited, and more happy than both. That last part gives you the courage to keep going, slowly tracing your fingertips higher and higher until you start to worry that maybe you missed something. Then, you feel a hem, thank god. Something about it isn't quite right though. You trace along it, taught against the fur, curving down towards Cotton's—you realize that what you're feeling isn't the dress. It's Cotton's underwear.

You freeze, fingers somewhere between hip and, uh... the parts panties are supposed to cover. You swear you can feel Cotton's heartbeat through the bed. She's barely blinked.

You hesitate a little longer, trying to figure out what to do. It's the chicken choice, but the idea that you can always come back later gives you an easy out, so you start moving upward again. As you brush over soft belly fur, Cotton tenses up and lets out a little giggle.

Oh-ho, ticklish, huh? You think you can just barely feel another hem, but damn, that giggle was super cute.

"Did you already take off your dress?"

Cotton shakes her head and you fake a look of confusion.

"Huh. I can't find it." You brush back across the fur you just passed and get another squirmy laugh.

"Man, and I thought getting those pants off was hard."

You bring your other paw into play, attacking the mirror image of the first spot. That earns you a full-blown squeal and Cotton's paws around your wrists as she laughs.

"Nope. Not there either. Gotta make sure though."

You drop any pretense of trying to find the hem and wiggle your fingers mercilessly. Cotton almost disappears under the covers as she curls up, laughing uncontrollably, gasping for breath, playfully trying to push your paws away.

"Think I've almost got it!"

You get in a few more seconds before a muffled plea squeaks out between gasps.

"S-stop! Stop! You're going to make me pee!"

Victory! You ease up and let Cotton pull your dastardly digits away from her tummy. A second later she reemerges from the covers, smiling, breathing hard, a little flushed, and with something else lingering in her expression you can't quite pin down. You were hoping you could keep a straight face but can't quite manage it.

"Sorry. Guess I'm not very good at this whole taking off clothes thing."

Cotton's expression shifts. She actually looks kind of annoyed. Your heart screeches to a halt and plummets into the soles of your feet. You didn't mean to imply you were going to stop trying or anything, you were just playing around! Before you can recover, Cotton tosses the covers off, stands, and takes a few steps down the bed, her back to you.

You sit up, trying to get your voice back so you can apologize and explain. Just as you start to manage it, Cotton reaches up to the spaghetti straps of her dress, slowly pulls them over her shoulders, and lets the dress fall to the mattress.

Now you can't speak for entirely different reasons. Cotton just stands there, a few feet away, in nothing but simple, white cotton panties that are barely any different from her fur. Neither of you move for several seconds. Then, you hear Cotton take a deep breath as she hooks her thumbs into the waistband of her underwear.

You feel like you might pass out as she bends over, long hair spilling over her shoulders, bringing into view some really, really wet fabric, stuck to the fur, maybe even a little translucent, though it wouldn't make any difference even if it was. It's thin enough that it doesn't hide anything, revealing every curve.

The rapid wiggle of Cotton's tail, perched atop her little heart-shaped bum manages to drag your gaze to it. It's a happy wiggle. You look down to Cotton's face, peeking back at you from around her leg, and catch a very horny smile just before she starts to pull the elastic waistband over the curve of her bottom.

Her tail bows, disappears, and springs back upright to continue wiggling after it's pulled through the garment. Little butt cheeks are slowly revealed like some sort of upside-down curtain rising over a stage. Then it's the main event. The waistband passes lower, teasing for just one more moment as the underwear turns inside-out, sticking to the source that soaked it. You're pretty sure you stopped breathing at some point. You should probably do that again eventually, but it hardly seems important right now.

The inverted V of the panties stretch taught until finally, gently, they peel free and bunch around the waistband, strands of glistening juices connecting cotton to Cotton. And then you're just staring, alone, in a room, in a secret sex club, at your completely naked and very horny best friend.

Panties join the dress on the bed before Cotton straightens back into a standing position. You might have made a some sort of moan of disappointment, but you feel too disconnected from your body to tell. Then Cotton turns around, paws covering her unmentionables. Her cheeks and ears are red, tiny little smile locked in place, eyes locked to you, your own eyes completely incapable of deciding where to land, as long it's part of Cotton.

Elbows tuck in and paws come together, one over the other, just below Cotton's bellybutton, unabashedly showing off every inch of everything she has. The moment lasts an eternity and nothing at all. The only thing you seem certain of right now is that you're looking the most beautiful girl in the world.

Cotton drops to her paws and knees, crawls back to her side of the bed, and sits crosslegged next to you, shoulders bunched, paws back together, arms straight and smile growing bigger by the second.

"That's how you do it."

Your mouth snaps closed as your brain sputters back to life. [i]Fuck yeah, that's how you do it![/i] You just never, ever, in billion years expected Fluffybutt to be the one to show you. Every time you think you've got a grip on this little bunny she goes and blows your doors off. You're not complaining. Like, [i]at all[/i]. Just... holy shit.

"Uh, wow."

Another giggle. "Now you have to keep your promise and teach me."

Teach? Oh, right! Man, you're really not doing a great job of keeping track of this shit. Though, to be fair—you melodramatically wave in Cotton's direction in your head.

And, holy hell, you really, really can't chicken out any more after a display like that. Are you really going to let Cottontail, of all furs, out-sexy you? No ma'm! No more pussy-pawing around! Er, or maybe lots of that? You mean no more beating around the bush!

...Yeah, Priest can still keep the fancy metaphor turf. 

"Uh, yeah, totally! Maybe, um, lay back down?"

Cotton scoots down the bed a bit to lay on her side, facing you. She seems to have decided to skip the covers this time, fixing you with another one of those magic looks, but now completely in the nude. Everything downstairs squeezes and reminds you, in no uncertain terms, that you have been ignoring things that refuse to be patient for much longer. 

You hope Cotton can't see you swallow as you lay down next to her. Right. Never pawed off before. This shit's easy. Just don't overthink it.

"So, uh, well, you just kinda take your paws," you gently place Cotton's paws in yours, "and put 'em down here." You guide Cotton's paws down to... exactly where they are supposed to go. You still can't believe you can just [i]see[/i] everything.

"And then what?"

Crap, you might have spaced out for a second there.

"Well, you just kinda... rub it."

Cotton makes a face before looking down and giving a few experimental strokes. You never thought watching another girl touch herself would be so unbelievably hot. Your own paws sneak down to hover around your naughty bits. Cotton seems to catch the motion, and after a few more tentative touches comes to a stop.

"Could you, um, show me?"

Oh god. Yes. Absolutely, yes.

You let your paws wander all the way to where they want to go, coming to rest on top of your thong, which seems to be rapidly approaching the drowned state Cotton's underwear was in earlier. You give yourself a couple good, firm rubs, enough to make your legs twitch. Crap, you're really on edge.

"So, uh," you grunt as you accidentally brush over your clit. "There's a couple different ways to do it. You can put your paw right above, uh... y'know. Like, on your stomach and just sort of... shake it back and forth."

You move to demonstrate and watch Cotton's paws mirror your own, uncovering herself in the process. You wiggle your digits back and forth, enjoying the lower intensity compared to your earlier accidental contact. You can see Cotton twitching every so often as she hits the mark, and it makes everything between your legs buzz even harder. She looks back up at your face, something working away in her head.

"Um, I d-don't think it's working. I can't really... see."

You've never heard a more blatant lie, but give the bunny points for being bold about it. Not like you should be the only one getting the full show. Fair's fair.

"Right. Sorry."

You reach down to grab the strings of your thong, letting the moment linger, trying to give back a little taste of what you got earlier. You can see Cotton picking up her pace as you start to work the thong off, one side at a time, trying to throw in a little sexy wiggle along the way. Pretty sure you won't be winning any awards for the performance, but get a cute little huff out of the bunny as the strip of fabric slides away, and you kick it off to who knows where.

"So, umf, yeah, like this. See?"

Cotton just nods, lips parted slightly, breath catching and irregular as you watch her paw going to town. You're not in a much better state, to be honest. 

"If you w-want a little more, you can, like, switch to going up and down. Like this."

You run your paw all the way down between your legs, getting little jolts as your paw fur tickles across all your favorite spots, and then slowly draw it back up again. Cotton lets out a gasp as you watch her follow along, slipping in her other paw after a stroke or two, all four paws twitching, curling up a bit as she discovers herself. Just as you think you might tumble over the edge just from watching, she stops, shivering and panting slightly.

"I don't th-think I can do it any more. Can you... help?"

That almost does you in. The ghost of an orgasm teases you, rippling through your insides. It takes a second before you can reply.

"Y-yeah."

You carefully reach out to Cotton's paws, clamped firmly over herself. You try twisting your wrists in a couple of different directions before deciding the angle just doesn't work.

"Maybe, uh, roll over?"

Cotton gets the idea and turns to face away from you, giving you another chance to sneak a peek at her cute little butt, tail still wiggling happily. You scoot a little closer, barely any space between your body and hers. The position doesn't let you see anything, so you let your free paw follow Cotton's arm down from the shoulder, earning a little shiver from the bunny as you go.

You can feel the heat pick up as you get closer to your target: wrist, knuckles, and finally your fingertips over hers. You press down gently and hear Cotton's breath hitch as you slowly draw her fingers up over the curve of her pelvis, pause, and then back down again.

You repeat the motion a few times before you start to feel your fingertips get damp, and try to draw your paw away for a playful taste. You don't even manage to get back to Cotton's wrist before you feel her free paw on top of yours, grabbing you, pulling you back down.

"Don't stop. Please."

Cotton shuffles under your arm, wigging up against you, her back pressing into your breasts, spine curved to nestle up into you, bottom squishing up against your hips. The part you immediately notice more than anything else though is her tail, tucking down to land right over your naughty bits, shaking like a leaf in the wind.

The soft tuft brushes back and forth against the insides of your thighs and over your lips, while the stubby core rubs right against your clit. It feels insane, and you instinctually pull Cotton's hips tighter against you, letting out a shuddering moan. It seems to catch Cotton by surprise, and her tail freezes in place. You can't even manage words right now, your long-delayed orgasm pushing up against your insides only to be denied at the last moment. Again.

You slip your other paw under Cotton, around her hip, sliding beneath her paw to make direct contact with short, slick, sticky fuzz. You hear her gasp as you pull her back up against you, giving her tail a firm hump as you simultaneously begin to rub the soft, squishy bits right over her button.

You go lower, tip of your middle digit slipping over a paradoxically well known and completely unexplored crevice, soft suction forming and breaking as it slides over the supple surface. Cotton makes squeaky, hitching noises as you feel muscles all over her tense and shudder. Her paws press into yours, trying to push you into her harder as her thighs clench together. You pull back with both hips and paws before pushing them together again, digits and tail sliding over needy, buzzing, tingling places.

Cotton starts to get into the rhythm, rocking her hips, paws still pushing needfully against yours. Her tail starts to twitch again, intermittent, staccato, unintentionally teasing. You feel the tips of her fingers pressing harder and harder into yours, dragging them over a nub that makes her whole body stiffen and flinch.

Then, during an unexpectedly hard push against your paws, you feel your finger pop deeper than you intended. Cotton goes rigid with a little choked gasp. It's enough to break through the haze in your head with a quick flash of what never pawing off might also mean. You start to pull back and ask if she's ok before her paws jump and push even harder against you, fingers curling over yours, burying you deeper into suckling, clenching depths.

A long, drawn out, raspy moan tears free from the little bunny, reverberating into your chest. If that left any question in your mind about if she was okay, the rapidly vibrating tail against your nethers makes it crystal clear. The feeling is intoxicating. You can't get enough, hooking a leg over Cotton's to better leverage yourself against her, grinding into the soft fluff and hard nubbin just as your finger bottoms out deep inside her.

Neither of you seem capable of holding back any more. You hump Cotton's backside as it gyrates against you, drawing your finger out and over her clit before pushing back in again with wet, sticky sounds. Cotton's paws curl and press, shaking as they drive you deep into herself, all while she makes desperate whimpering sounds.

You slowly increase the pace together, faster, harder, deeper. You start to bump up against Cotton's cervix on every thrust, a tiny little opening right under the tip of your finger. You can feel her clit on each pass, and start to get an idea of how she wants you to touch her, feeling the reaction in her whole body curled up against you each time.

You're getting closer on each hump, certain that you're doing unspeakable things to Cotton's cute little tail, the fur getting more and more matted as you go. It shows no sign of slowing down its quivering little dance against you, wiggling, vibrating, pushing up against you on each grind. It's driving you crazy.

Then, it starts. Your orgasm, long delayed, rears over you like a tidal wave, threatening with its heavy shadow. You can tell Cotton is right on the edge too. With three short thrusts, she presses you deep into herself and then holds you there. Her insides squeeze, pulse, and then clamp down so hard it's almost painful, tail going mad right on top of your pussy, her breath held. Then she squeals, long and loud as you feel her clench and squirt, over and over, right into your palm. It's all you can take. The wave slams into you and you're submerged, cumming again and again as your pussy thrums, clenches, and spasms as you hump her little butt and vibrating tail as hard as you can, grinding, grunting, gasping as you let the wave claim you. Bury you. Drown you.

You ride out the orgasm, both writhing in its grasp, bodies intertwined, the sounds of your ecstasy mingling and overlapping, cresting and dipping as you hold at the peak for many long moments, and then slowly start to come down together, over riges, down through through valleys, until you both arrive back at the foot of a mountain, shaking, spent, hollowed out by satisfaction.

Cotton holds you inside her the whole time, giving you gentler and gentler squeezes as she finishes. Then you just lay there for a while, panting, occasionally laughing through little aftershocks. She takes her paws off yours, stretches, and then wiggles back up against you. You curl into each other, your purr starting back up again as you slip your finger free from her, prompting a little gasp and giggle. She breathes deep, holds it, and lets it out slowly.

"That was [i]lots[/i] better than a pillow."

You laugh quietly, breathing in the faint smell of her shampoo, mixed with intoxicating new aromas.

"Uh, yeah, well, that mighta been a little better than usual. I've never cum that hard in my whole life."

There's a smile in Cotton's voice as her tail starts to twitch between your legs, threatening to start you right back up.

"That good, huh?"

You laugh again, recognizing your own words tossed back at you, squeezing the little bunny into a tight hug, purr redoubling.

"Yeah."

You stay like that, fur to fur, quiet, happy, and free until you both drift off to sleep. 

Though, maybe not for the [i]whole[/i] night...