Chapter 8
Lips meeting lips, hands stroking muscles, room filling with silent moans as two oldest brothers were laying on this secret room's bed taking good care of each others. So many confusing thoughts ran in Leo's mind but he couldn't stop himself for lusting Raph, for wanting him so bad and yet it all felt so very wrong. Leo's hands traveled from Raphael's neck on his shoulders where he felt this scar on Raph's left shoulder, instantly bringing memories from that night when he and Raph fought against Shredder over 10 years ago.
Shaking those memories out of his mind Leo's hands started to make their way down on Raph's chest when they came in contact with bandage and still sharp hiss with instant inhale reminded Leonardo about Raphael's long wound on his chest... What he had give to his brother. Pulling his hands away and pushing Raphael off on him, Leo sat up throwing his legs off on the bed, giving his back to Raph.
Raphael laid on his right side holding his chest while supporting his upper body with his right elbow, raising his eyes on Leo's carapace.
"Why the hell you did do that for?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do this."
Leo pushed himself on his feet starting to find his clothes on the floor with his hands and he soon found his pants, starting to pull them on.
"I asked a question, Leonardo."
His eyes watched his brother's every move as Leo straightened himself with deep exhale, dropping his tensed shoulders and head down.
"I just remembered your injury. Sex with that could not do any good."
"And you know all that? I can handle it so come back to bed."
"No. Excuse me, but I have other things to do. I have no time nor interest of having sex."
Raph snorted as he turned on his back placing his hands under his head.
"Well, someone's mood changed fast. Tell me the real reason."
"I told you already. It's your wound."
"Bullshit it is. You just think this is wrong and sick."
"......."
Raphael watched silently how Leo put his gears on and he had to admit it, his older brother looked good in those new gears what he had gave him. Leonardo placed his last gear on himself before reaching his hand on the wall, slowly starting to find his way out.
"You want me to lead you out?"
"No, thanks. I will do fine on my own."
"Hmph, whatever you say. ... Hey, Leo. Been wanting to ask this; How's that eye of yours?"
Eye? Oh his left eye. Leo stopped as he turned around slowly raising his hands behind his head, untying that white bandage, removing those cotton pads off on his eyes. After little hesitation Leo dared to start to open his eyes carefully and he was happily surprised when they didn't hurt as much as he had feared they would.
Raphael stood up coming in front of Leo from another side of the bed, raising his hand on Leo's left cheek, keeping his eyes nailed on Leo's left eye.
"Is it blind?"
"Not completely. I see shadowy figures with it which is good enough for me."
"Hmm. It happened in that night, right?"
Only answer was a nod.
"Sorry. I was too slow... I didn't make it in time to help you. To save you from that hit."
Leo's deep sigh hit Raphael's skin while Leo's hand sealed Raph's between it and cheek.
"Don't worry. I have no regrets about it and like I said, I can still see with it."
Raphael opened his mouth to reply but he heard faint voice calling him from the room behind the wall. Growling in anger Raphael took his red-black bathrobe what he kept near by the bed in case, wrapping it around himself.
"Excuse me."
"Of course."
Leo bowed slightly to Raphael who marched angrily past him to this secret door way, entering in his office where one of his foot ninja waited him. Leonardo waited and listened the sounds and he clearly heard how Raphael commanded this ninja with him as they both left the room and only then Leo dared to move. When he was making his way out of this secret room, his hand accidentally hit one book what fell next to his foot. He bend down to pick it up but something told him to open and read it.
Hesitating a bit Leonardo finally encouraged himself enough to open this book with red covers and what he saw was Raph's hand writing. At first Leo didn't pay too much attention to those misty words but then there were words he had to read over and over again before they hit him. The date was from over 11 years ago... Just a few days before Raph had decided to leave his family and go on as Shredder.
"Open your blue eyes, tell me that you love me. Make me believe it even I know you're lying... I suppose, life sometimes, it doesn't go the way it was meant. ... The wounds are too deep, I need to keep the scars, to prove there was a time when I loved something more than life..."
This lump had rose in Leo's throat what he tried to swallow down while turning another ripped and slightly dirty old page, letting his eyes scan all new words, sinking them deep in his memory.
"Father always said "my son, do the noble thing..." You have to finish what you started, no matter what."
So Splinter might had sensed something changing in Raphael and had try to guide him on right path... Leo's eyes kept reading forward as some other new words came to him. The date was from over 10 years ago and it was that date when... Leonardo had told Mikey and Donnie that Splinter was dead and Raph had heard it too since he had stood there by their side as Shredder.
"Dear father, forgive me 'cause in your eyes, I just never added up. In my heart I know I failed you... And dear brothers, just don't hate me for never standing by you or being by your side."
Lump in his throat had grew more no matter how desperately Leo had tried to swallow it but all this text in front of his eyes, in these pages what he held in his hands. They were Raph's deepest emotions. And it hurt his brother never talked about them to any of them out loud. Instead he kept it all inside of him, talking to this 'diary' of his.
Pressing covers gently against each other, sealing those old pages between them Leo closed his eyes sighing deeply in sadness. Raphael had suffer more than he ever had thought he had. But no more, Leo wouldn't let his brother suffer any longer; They all were now together and they would stay together the rest of their lives, helping and supporting one another.
--
Olive green hand slapped his head hard and automatic reaction was 'Auch!' and hand rubbing that painful spot.
"That's what you get for taking those pads off without my permission, Leonardo. You could have damaged your eyes with such action, you know?"
"I know, I know. I'm sorry, Don. It's just that Ra--- Master Shredder wanted to see my left eye."
Don sat down on his chair with wheels giving gentle kick, coming in front of Leo checking his eyes with small light.
"We know who Shredder is so you can talk about him with his real name."
"He made it clear I have no permission to do such thing. I need to call him Shredder outside of his room."
"But in his room you can call him Raphael?"
"Only if we are alone."
"Aaah, dude! I don't get it why he does that since Donnie and I can call him Raph whenever we want."
"Actually, we don't, Mike. He has make it very clear but you ALWAYS have to tease him and piss him off."
Mike shifted his weight on his left foot raising his hands behind his head smiling widely.
"But I'm the youngest one! It's my privilege to tease you guys and teasing Raphael is the best thing!"
"Care to repeat that, Michelangelo?"
That sudden low and growling voice behind him made Mikey scream and jump, turning to look over his shoulder with wide eyes at his emerald green brother who kept his arms crossed on his chest and brow raised.
"Oh, good morning, master. What brings you here so early? You usually are still sleeping at this hour."
Raphael gave one last look to Mikey who nicely moved away from Raphael's way who took a chair sitting down on it, throwing his right foot on his left one.
"Had long night with no sleep, that's why I'm up."
"You haven't sleep in whole night?"
"No. Had to be out to take care of some business."
"I could had done that, Master."
Those yellow eyes turned on Leo's while Don stood up next to their oldest brother, gently pressing his head downward telling Leonardo to keep eyes open as he dropped few drops of clear liquid in his eyes.
"There. That should protect your eyes so well that you don't need pads BUT if you get any problems of seeing, come to me or call me."
"I will. Thanks, Don."
Don gave Leo a small smile, turning to look his master.
"And how I can help you, master?"
"This." All 3 pairs of eyes were locked on Raphael who removed his bandage over his chest, revealing that long cut what Leonardo gave him earlier. Don moved closer with his chair and it was obvious soon; part of the cut was infected.
"Haven't you keep it clean like I told you to?"
"Grhh, of course I have! It's not my fault I got dirt in it last night."
"Where exactly you were?"
"Tracking down Hun but he had set a trap. I won't give any details but the wound got dirt in it and that's it."
"But how? If you wore this bandage --"
"I didn't. If I would had it would be dirty too, right, braniac?"
Don sighed deep as he stood up once more coming next to his second oldest brother, giving him hard slap on the head like he had give to Leo about 10 minutes ago. Of course Raphael growled, yelled and stared at his younger brother who just calmly stood still, keeping his strict look on Raphael's eyes.
"Deserves you right. Be glad it's not that badly infected yet. Mike and I go get some supplies from storage room and you two sit here nicely and still. Come, Mikey."
"Roger! See ya!"
Raphael watched annoyed how his siblings left, leaving him alone with Leo and that fast look what he took about Leo told him instantly something was bothering his oldest sibling.
"What is it?"
"Umh.... Raph.... I have to confess you one thing. Last night, after you left, I accidentally dropped this one book and started to read it and... I then realized it was your diary - kind of - book."
"You WHAT?!"
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to read it! But there were few words what got my attention and so ---"
With those strong legs Raphael jumped up on his chair with ease, staring down at Leonardo who seemed to be a bit shocked about this sudden powerful reaction.
"What did you read?" Was Raphael's silent and low growl as he demanded to have his answer.
"I-I read those parts where you wanted me to tell you I love you even if you knew it was a lie. How father had told you to do a noble thing. How you apologized for not being by our side and asking not to hate you and all that. .... Raph.... Why you never talked to us? About your feelings?"
"I told you. You guys would not had accept my warm feelings toward you."
"But we still would had been there for you. We wouldn't had abandon you. We love you, always have - always will. You KNOW that."
Leo was sure Raphael would get even more angrier but instead loud sigh was Raphael's answer as he sat back down on his chair looking away.
"I know, I know. I admit I was immature hot-head brat... Who thought wrong about his family. I can't change the past, I can't bring it back either. What has happened, has and that's all. Happy?"
"Kind of. Just..." Leo moved closer placing his hand on Raphael's giving him a stern but gentle look. "... For now on TALK to us, please. We are here for you. Can you do that?"
"Depends on my mood so I can't promise anything." That smirk right after Raph shut his mouth was a good sign so Leo just shook his head with a smile. It seemed things might would turn out to the best for them all after all even that Leo had been so worried about it. They living in their enemy's home, having his ex-army under their control and all that.
"Oh, almost forgot! I never haven't ask this but what are you gonna do with Foot army?"
"What do you mean by that? Fight against Purple Dragons and keep New York's streets safe to everyone who deserves my protection. All those who don't... I just kill them."
"Kill them?! Like what kind of people?"
"All those worthless scums."
"Like homeless people?"
"Njah, not them, moron. Criminals. The worst ones. Those who kill deserve to be dead."
"Are you serious?!"
"Pffffhh! Hahaha, of course not, Leo! Man, you should had seen your face!"
Corner of Leo's upper lip rose as he snarled to his laughing brother. With fast and easy movement Leo jumped on him, taking something sharp from Don's working table and pressing it against Raphael's neck who froze, keeping his calm and cool gaze on Leo's eyes.
"Don't. EVER. Joke. About. Killing. To. Me! Do you understand?!"
"Easy there, mad man. I understand."
"Good."
Leo tossed that sharp small blade out of his hand walking away from Raph who looked after him.
"Why so strong reaction about such a joke?"
Leo turned on his heels with the speed of light, his eyes burning with anger.
"You wouldn't be laughing if you would had been forced to kill so many innocent people!"
Raphael rolled his eyes as he stood up, tilting his head a bit.
"You STILL haven't got over that? I said I'm sorry for making you do that."
"And you think your sorry is enough to make me forget it?!"
Raph turned his head away with closed eyes, lifting his hands up.
"Pffh, whatever, okay?"
--
When Don and Mikey returned back to Don's 'doctor room' tension there was so obvious. Both of younger siblings would had love to ask what it all was about but it was more wiser to keep their mouths shut and just deal with Raphael's wound and shoo those two old hot heads out of the room.
Raph and Leo walked side by side in perfect silence through this long hall where Foot ninjas stood, bowing deep to their master and general.
"You all are dismissed! Go out or stay here as long as you have a good time. This day is free to all of you."
Leo turned to look Raphael in shock with all ninjas while Raphael repeated himself and soon enough all those ninjas vanished just like that.
"Wow. That was very generous of you. May I ask why you did that?"
"Hmph, like they don't deserve at least one free day in a week to have their own time."
Small smile crawled on Leo's lips as he walked after his master who walked slowly forward, stopping and turning to look behind him.
"Are you coming or not?"
"Where are we going?" Leo asked as he gently ran next to Raph, walking in perfect rhythm with him.
"I believe we need to spend more time together and relax. You still have hate issues toward me."
"... I'm sorry I burst out on you like that."
"You had all the rights to do so. But they MUST end. I won't watch it long between my fingers anymore. After all I am your master. You have to learn to behave and respect me."
"But I do."
"Not good enough."
Raph shared a small smirk to his brother as they made their way to elevator what took them on the roof where Raphael's private helicopter waited them, taking them far away from New York.