30
	Near dawn, Jess was startled out of a nightmare by a sharp prod in the stomach.  She had always been a light sleeper, and being back this close to Jaspertree made her nervous.  She was half out of bed before she was even fully awake, but when she went to stand up she found that the bedsheets were wrapped around her legst, and she fell.  Her right knee banged the wine bottle where it had been abandoned on the floor, and it skittered noisily away.  She clenched her teeth against the pain, and tore at the sheets to free herself.
	Sebastian caught her when she fell again, and her nose was filled with the pleasant scent of him while he helped her back up onto her bed.  This was made more difficult by the fact that she slept naked, and he didn't want to touch her anywhere but on her arms.  Her knee hurt too much to let her stand, but she was able to lift herself up on her other leg long enough to flop back down on her bed.
	“Well, what is it?” she said.
	He let go of her, and retreated to the stove on the other side of the tent.
	“You were shouting,” Sebastian said.
	It was still dark in the tent, except for the glow of the stove, and she was grateful for the cover.  The heat of embarrassment rose up in her ears, and she didn't want him to see.
	“That was it?” she said.
	“I thought you might not want the whole camp to hear you,” he said.
	Just before bedtime, Thomas had come back with a small footlocker.  It was filled with blankets and spare clothes, all of which were old and patched but still usable.  They  also found a teapot and a couple of tin mugs buried at the bottom, along with a half a tin of tea.  Once he got the stove burning the way he wanted it to, Sebastian set the pot on top of it.
	“I didn't think you would want me to hear it, either,” he said.
	“Was it that bad?” Jess said.
	“It was just a name,” he said.
	“What name?” Jess said.
	But she didn't need to ask.  She'd been dreaming about Abigail since her second night away from Jaspertree.  When Jess's mother died, she was carrying a second child.  Jess hadn't known her sister's name until later, when Elizabeth had given her a letter her mother had written, but she'd had dreams about the child, off and on, ever since.
	“I should have been sorry when my sister died.  I miss my mother every day, but when I think about Abigial--”
	“You were glad because she didn't have to suffer like you did,” Sebastian said.
	His hand found hers and he gave her fingers a comforting squeeze.  She pulled away from him and folded her hands in her lap.  It was a difficult thing to do, but she didn't deserve his sympathy.
	“No.  I was furious, because they got to escape and left me here all by myself,” she said.
	“When I was a kitten, my mother told me a strange story.  She said that, if a child dies before she has a chance to get born, her soul doesn't go to Paradise.  Instead, she waits here, for a chance to be born to someone else in the family,” Sebastian said.
	Jess clasped her hands against her stomach to hide it from him, though the gesture was pointless now.  She was sure she wasn't far enough along for the child to start to show very much, but Sebastian had been closer to her than anyone since Marcus.
	“You've known I was pregnant since you met me,” she said.
	“I thought you might be, but I wasn't sure until Miss Elizabeth told me, just before bed,” he said.
	“I don't believe in that old myth.  She wouldn't come to me,” she said.
	“”I don't see why not,” he said.
	“You wouldn't,” Jess said.
	He filled the cups with tea and held one out to her.  She accepted, taking a moment to enjoy the warmth of it on her fingers.  The stove had helped some, but it was still cold enough this morning that she could see her breath.
	“You shouldn't think that way about yourself,” he said.
	“You're right.  After all, there are plenty of people who will do it for me,” she said.
	“Not everyone,” he said.
	He sat down beside her and sipped his tea.  This time he was close enough that their legs touched, and she risked leaning against him a little.
	“You think I'm nice, but I'm not.  If there was any way to get rid of her, I would,” she said.
	“That doesn't make any difference to me,” he said.
	“Why not?  If this child really has the soul of my sister, then this is also her last chance to be born,” she said.
	“I can't tell you what to do.  But sometimes, the people who are already alive are more important,” he said.
	A burst of shouting just outside their tent made Jess drop her tea on her toes.  When something hit the side hard enough to make the canvas bulge inwards, she dropped to her knees and flipped Sebastian' cot over on its side.  Sebastian, who was more rabbit than wolf sat frozen on the bed, until she grabbed his arm and pulled him down beside her.
	“Stay the hell down, and don't move until I tell you,” she said.
	Her groping hand found the empty wine bottle and she picked it up by the neck, hefting it like a club.  It wasn't much of a weapon, but the weight of it made her feel a little better.
	“What are you going to do?” Sebastian said.
	“Whatever seems like a good idea,” she said.
	Someone started to unzip the front flap and Jess raised the bottle, ready to throw it as soon as she saw them.  She pulled her arm back further as their visitor slipped into the tent, but before she could throw the bottle Sebastian caught her by the wrist.  She forgot herself for a moment and turned on him, snarling, but he didn't let go.  She could feel him shivering, which stirred up all her buried instincts again, until Catherine pulled the bottle out of her fingers.
	“There's no need for that.  We're all friends here, aren't we?” Catherine said.
	“Is that why you're sneaking into my tent in the middle of the night?  Whatever it is, can't it wait until morning?” Jess said.
	“I was just coming to check on you, to make sure Thomas had given you everything you needed.  I didn't want to wake you,” Catherine said.
	“You didn't,” Jess said.
	She groped in the dim light until she found her pants, and she pulled them on.  She didn't mind Sebastian seeing her, his kindness to her had earned him that much at least, but she was in no mood to show off for the whole camp.
	“There was no need for the club.  Thomas might think with what's between his legs, but he's nothing like Marcus,” Catherine said.
	“I was scared,” said Jess, and she turned her head away so she wouldn't have to look at either of them.
	“No, that was something else.  I've never seen anyone who looked that feral before.  You've changed since you were in the prison.  Even Sarah has noticed it,” Catherine said.
	Catherine held a hand out, and moved it when Jess turned her head so she couldn't ignore it.
	“How would you know?” Jess said.
	“It's the way you look, for one thing.  Before you went there, anyone who didn't know would have thought you were just a mouse.  Now you all but reek of weasel,” Catherine said.
	“Why not?  It's what I am.  Do you know how long I was afraid of myself?” Jess said.
	“I don't think you are.  You've got the teeth, but you don't have the heart of a predator,” Catherine said.
	Jess got up, still ignoring Catherine's hand, and she picked her mug up off the floor.  There was still a little tea left in the bottom and she tipped it into her mouth, careless of the fact that it overflowed and dribbled down her chest.  Now that the shock of her nightmare and Catherine's entrance was starting to wear off, she found that all she wanted to do was crawl back into bed.
	“What does it matter, then?  Nobody has ever objected to what I am, as long as I gave them what they wanted,” she said.
	“It matters to me.  I think you're a sweet girl, and it would be a shame to see you lose that,” Catherine said.
	“You only think so because you want something from me, too,” Jess said.
	She refilled her mug with lukewarm tea and fumbled a cigarette out of her pocket.  There was enough light in the tent now for her to see Catherine's look of disapproval, but she didn't care.  As far as she could see, there was no reason to change the way she lived because of something she didn't want.  The smoke tasted terrible, and little feelings of guilt made her stomach twinge, but was determined not to care.
	“We need your help,” Catherine said.
	“What can I do?  I spent all of my life lying on my back.  That's not exactly the sort of training they look for in a soldier,” Jess said.
	“Most of us aren't soldiers, either.  Thomas was only a captain, before he promoted himself.  You don't think he was able to drag that many fighters away with him, do you?  With what Marcus pays them?” Catherine said.
	“I don't know why anyone would follow him.  You haven't said hello to your brother, yet,” Jess said.
	Catherine waved a hand at Sebastian, who hadn't moved from the spot where Jess had left him.  He stared up at Catherine with his little painting of her clutched in his hands, and his mouth hung open.  When she turned to look at him, he stood up quickly and cracked his knee on the leg of the overturned cot, and he stumbled on the wine bottle when he took a step backwards.  Jess steadied him with a hand on his back, and she felt him relax a little.
	“You're much prettier than your picture,” Sebastian said.
	Catherine's ears colored with embarrassment, but she smiled and raised her lantern so they could get a better look at her.
	“Dad used to say the same thing.  I never did like sitting still.  But that's nothing, I mean, you're actually here.  You really came to find me.  I knew you would,” Catherine said.
	She set the lantern on the ground and took Sebastian by the shoulders.  He let her push him into the circle of light and she held him out at arm's length to look him up and down.
	“You're a wolf,” Sebastian said.
	There was a squeak in his voice he couldn't hide, and Catherine's smile grew wider.
	“So are you.  More than you think,” Catherine said.
	Jess lit another cigarette off the stub of her first one and went to stand in the open tent flap, to watch the sun rise.
	“He doesn't give up, does he?” she said.
	“Who, Thomas?  I don't think he knows how,” Catherine said.
	“I already told him no.  But now he's sent you to try to talk me around.  I'm not the kind of person you want beside you in a fight, I'm really not,” Jess said.
	“As far as he knows, I'm still in bed,” Catherine said.
	“I'm not a revolutionary.  I didn't even have the courage to get myself out of Silver Street, until it burned down around me.  Even Megan was braver than that,” Jess said.
	“You got me out of the prison.  If I'd just been through what Marcus did to you, you wouldn't have gotten me within a mile of that place,” Catherine said.
	“I wasn't interesting anymore.  Marcus had had his fun with me, and that was it.  I wasn't going to let him do the same to anyone else, even if you are a pain in the ass,”  Jess said.
	The sun was just past the horizon now and the camp was waking up.  They watched as a number of soldiers left their tents and tramped off into the trees to take over from the night sentries.  It was a chilly morning, with a damp wind blowing in from across the river, and the steam of their breath mingled with the smoke from Jessamine's cigarettes.  But there were little white flowers growing in the dirt beside the tent, and Catherine, who was rounder than Jess was, left her arms bare.
	“Why don't you cut the shit?  You want to help so much, you stink of it,”  Catherine said.
	“You know everything, of course,” Jess said.  She turned away to go back inside, but Catherine grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.
	“You tried to steal from Marcus, which is something nobody else in the world has been brave enough to do, and you very nearly got away with it, too.  I know you don't have it in you to quit now,” Catherine said.
	“That was before all of those people on the Scylla were killed.  That was before I delivered Megan right to his door,” Jess said.
	“Did you think it would be easy?  You knew what he was like before you started, and you went ahead anyway,” Catherine said.
	“Yes, but that's not a deal that includes risking both our lives because some fox has had a bright idea.  I just want to find her and get out.  Thomas is going to have to fight his own war,” Jess said.
	Catherine's grip slackened and Jess slipped away from her, back into the tent.  She pushed past Sebastian, who stood almost on top of them, and reached under her pillow for the old pistol she'd stolen from the jail.  The gun felt greasy and cold in her hand, in a way that had nothing to do with ordinary metal.  She slipped it into the pocket of her dress and tried to ignore the way it weighed her down.
	“Let me come with you,” Sebastian said.
	He followed her across the tent, and stood an arm's length away, looking like a lost puppy.
	“You came to see your sister.  You'd better stay with her.  She needs you more than I do, now,” Jess said.
	“But what happens if you go into Jaspertree alone, and someone finds you?  You can't go by yourself,” Sebastian said.
	“That's my problem,” she said.
	She kissed him, then, their bodies pressed together until his knees buckled and he fell backward onto her cot.  She turned away before he could speak, and tried to ignore the little thrill of excitement that fluttered in her stomach.
	Catherine was still stood in the doorway, and she spread her arms out to block it.
	“Will you stop and listen to me for a moment?” Catherine said.
	“I have listened to you, and you were right.  I do want to help.  But I can't.  Not in the way you want me to,” Jess said.
	“Yes, you can.  Just wait a moment and hear what I've got to say.  You don't understand,” Catherine said.
	“All I want is to go get Megan and get her far away from here.  I don't care about anything else, not anymore,” Jess said.
	She was short enough that she was able to duck under Catherine's upraised arm, and she was quick enough to get out before the wolf could grab her.  Sebastian shouted something after her, and she felt a pang of guilt for leaving him behind, but she didn't stop.  Sebastian wasn't her responsibility, and he was better off with his sister.  Catherine was the motherly sort, which she had never been, and she would know how to take care of a child like him.  They must have known this too, because neither of them followed her.
	The camp was planned out in neat rows, but these were interrupted by trees and the occasional large rock sticking up out of the forest floor.  Thomas's soldiers were all clearly too busy with their rebellion to bother with even basic housekeeping.  This meant that the path between the tents wound around itself in curlicues, like a piece of dropped string.  She kept walking in the direction that she thought was north, towards the city, but after several minutes of weaving between tents her certainty waned.  Her temper wasn't helped by the ache in her legs.  In the last two days, she had already walked further than she ever had before in her life.
	She stomped around another turn, grumbling to herself, and a few seconds later, she found that she had aquired a skunk.  Sarah came out from between two tents and fell into step beside her with a grin and a little wave.
	“I told Catherine you weren't going to listen.  You'd better turn left after the next two tents, unless you want to end up in the latrine.  Really, I think I understand why people were so eager to build cities now,” Sarah said.
	“I don't want to hear anything you have to say, either,” Jess said.
	“I know you don't, and after we've done so much to help you, too,” Sarah said, but she didn't stop smiling.
	“I went back to the prison for you.  That makes us even,” Jess said.
	“I meant that you still don't believe we're on your side.  Do you really think that Cath would ask you to do something as mad as what Thomas wants?” Sarah said.
	“She is, isn't she?” Jess said.
	They turned left where Sarah had said and the smell of poorly covered waste made Jess gag and pull the collar of her shirt up over her nose.  Sarah affected an air of unconcern and tugged her around another left turn, onto a wider, straighter path that, as far as she could see, ran the length of the camp.
	“Main Street, more or less.  I had our brave commander give me a tour last night.  Keep going and it'll take you to the road to Jaspertree.  If that's really where you want to go,” Sarah said.
	Jess jerked to a halt and shoved Sarah away from her, across the path.  Sarah let herself be pushed, which let her keep her feet, and she was back at Jess's side a moment later.
	“That isn't going to work, either,” Jess said.
	“I don't see why not.  It's a straight shot, and all you have to do is keep walking until you get there,” Sarah said.
	Her smile faded when Jess laid her ears back, and she scratched the side of her muzzle to try to hide it.
	“I came to ask for your help.  Cath wants to get a ship, to make up for the Scylla, and to get you and Megan over to Viridis.  Like we promised,” she said.
	“You know where she is?” Jess said.
	She didn't shout, or grab Sarah, though she wanted to.  Instead, she clenched her fists and turned toward the city.
	“Is she okay?  Have you actually seen her?” she said.
	“I haven't.  But I know some people back home, and I have their word for it.  Now, you can keep going down this road and that will be fine.  Or we can go back and get Catherine, and that cute little buck with the tongue that reaches to his knees, and do it properly,” Sarah said.
	The look that Sarah gave her made her feel suddenly hot and uncomfortable in her own skin.
	“You're just imagining things,” Jess said.
	“Not just me.  You could see that in his eyes, too.  Not to mention, there was that kiss,” Sarah said, and she laughed when Jess winced.
	“Don't tease,” she said.
	“That wouldn't be any fun.  Besides, I think you might need some help.  You might have more experience with some things.  But you don't really know any more about love than he does, do you?” Sarah said.
	She put a hand on Jess's shoulder and turned her around to go back to the tent.