In the City of Cats

Part 08

	Cearnach's army arrived two days later.  Ciara was startled out of a dream of her father by the sound of a catapult stone striking the side of the castle.  She rolled out of bed and ran to the window, where Deirdre already stood.  There wasn't much to see from their position.  Sabia had moved the five of them into a large room near the top of the south-west tower where she'd said they would be safe, but their view of the plain before the city was blocked by the larger guard tower on the wall in front of them.
	“I knew Fithir's General Nessa when she was still just a wet-behind-the-ears lieutenant.  If she remembers half the things I taught her, this will be a very short fight,” Deirdre said.
	“I think it will be, anyway.  Even I can see this place is in no shape to withstand an attack,” Niamh said.
	She wrapped an arm around Ciara's waist and pointed down at the Blackpool City gate.  The ancient wood was cracked in three places and Ciara doubted it would hold up much longer.
	“This may be your chance.  As good as Sabia is, I don't think she can focus on fighting Fithir's army and guard Brigit at the same time,” Deirdre said.
	“I tried to tell her this would happen.  I tried to make her see.  Sabia would never believe it, but this isn't what I wanted,” Ciara said.
	“I know.  After everything you've been through, you still have a charmingly naïve trust in the power of words to change the way people think,” Deirdre said.
	Niamh turned Ciara around and grabbed her muzzle so Ciara had to look her wife in the eyes.
	“I know that look.  It's the same one you wore the morning we left Oseille, and it's the one I've been dreading since we arrived.  What are you planning?” Niamh said.
	“I wish I knew,” Ciara said.
	“You mean you won't tell me.  You've always got a plan, and you just don't want to tell me what it is,” Niamh said.
	“It wouldn't do any good if I did.  You can't come with me and I don't want to have to worry about you more than I already will,” Ciara said.
	Ciara pulled Niamh close to kiss her, which made Niamh squeak with surprise then melt into Ciara's arms, the way she had done at their secret pool outside Oseille the first time they realized how much they loved each other.  Then Ciara pushed Niamh into Deirdre's arms.
	“Look after her,” Ciara said.
	Niamh squirmed in Deirdre's grasp and she bared her teeth at Ciara in a surprisingly good imitation of an angry fox.  She slapped at Deirdre's arms, but Deirdre just grimaced and held her fast.
	“Don't you dare leave me behind.  Not again,” Niamh said.
	But Ciara was already through the door and it swung shut on Niamh's words.
	Even with all the confusion outside, their chamber was guarded by a lynx in armor.  He drew his sword when he saw Ciara come out, but he barely resisted when she put her hand on his wrist.
	“You and I are going to see Queen Sabia,” Ciara said.
	“You want to see her?” the lynx said.
	“Right away.  I'm not leaving without my sister,” Ciara said.
	The lynx hesitated until Ciara bared her teeth at him, and he took a quick step back.
	“We'll go, but you are an enemy soldier and I will have my eye on you.  I will not let anyone hurt my Queen,” the lynx said.
	“That's just what I hope to prevent, if the damned fool will listen to me,” Ciara said.
	The castle shook under another blow from the catapult and there was splintering of wood, followed by a distant shout which rose from somewhere outside the walls.  Neither of them had to see what had happened to know that Cearnach had broken through into the city.  The guard turned, his ears flattening with fear, and Ciara hit him.  He yelped and sprawled on the floor.  He was only stunned, but that was all she needed.  She knelt down with her knees pressed into his back, tore off his belt and knotted his arms behind his back with it.  He groaned and cursed her, but she had him bound and helpless before he could fight back.  Then she took his sword and ran the rest of the way to Sabia's chambers.
	The door was wide open, and there were no guards in sight.  Ciara tensed and tightened her grip on her stolen sword, and she stepped into the room.
	The place was a wreck.  Fithir had reached Sabia first and she stood over the old lynx with her ears flat and a crossbow she'd gotten from who knew where aimed at Sabia's chest.  Sabia sat in one corner of the room with Brigit in her lap.  A broken sword lay on the floor beside her and there was a long, jagged slash down the length of Sabia's left leg.
	“There you are, Princess.  You talk to her.  Tell her I had to do it.  Tell her the child is mine,” Sabia said.
	Fithir's eyes were shut and she was trembling so much there was no telling where she might hit Sabia if she pulled the trigger.  It wouldn't matter at this range, though.  Sabia would die anyway.
	“Fithir--” Ciara said, but Fithir growled so savagely that the words froze in Ciara's throat.
	“Tell her,” Sabia said.
	As she edged closer, Ciara could see that the old cat was covered in blood.  It spattered her legs and it had splashed over Brigit.  A thin line of blood lay across Brigit's throat and the child wasn't moving.  She was still breathing, but only in quick, shallow gasps.
	“I want to hear you talk, cat.  I want you to beg me for your life and tell me why I shouldn't kill you,” Fithir said.
	“I don't have to say anything.  You won't kill me because we both know you can't.  You're too soft,” Sabia said.
	“If Brigit dies, I will scatter your bones on your daughter's grave,” Fithir said.
	“You won't.  If you could do that, you wouldn't waste time talking about it,” Sabia said.
	Ciara knelt beside Sabia and lifted Brigit out of the old lynx's lap.  Brigit lay still, but the child was still warm and the cut across her throat didn't look as bad as she'd first thought.  Ciara only knew a little medicine, most of which came from a childhood spent bandaging her mother's wounds, but she was sure Sabia hadn't managed to do more than scratch the child.
	“If you kill her, you'll be no better than she is,” Ciara said.
	“She could never be like me.  None of you have got what it takes,” Sabia said.
	“This is where you keep your damned mouth shut.  Do you want her to shoot you?” Ciara said.
	The castle shook again and Ciara caught the sound of running feet and clashing metal in the hall outside Sabia's chambers.  Ciara heard her mother shout and Fiachra answer, and she held Brigit closer to her.
	“She could have been someone.  I'd have made her the queen of all Viridis before I was done with her,” Sabia said.
	“No, you wouldn't.  All you'd have done is make her as sick as you are,” Fithir said.
	Fithir fired the crossbow.  Sabia's head slammed back against the wall behind her, the old cat's eyes white with fear.  The bolt stuck out of the wood just beside her left ear, and a little dribble of blood dotted Sabia's shoulder where the steel tip had nicked her.
	“Give me my daughter,” Fithir said.
	She snatched Brigit out of Ciara's arms and turned to leave.  The fight in the hall had subsided as quickly as it had begun, and Ciara could hear her mother laughing and shouting taunts at her enemies.  She thought, again, how strange it was that her mother was only really happy when she was fighting.
	Fithir had almost reached the door when Sabia grabbed the broken sword at her side and lunged at the young queen.  Fithir whirled to face the old cat, ears flat, but she couldn't hold her daughter and fight, too.  The room was so small that Ciara didn't dare use her own weapon for fear of hurting Fithir, or her sister.  All she could do was throw herself in Sabia's path.  Sabia snarled and slashed wildly with her sword.  The blade cut into Ciara's arm and Ciara lashed out with her fists in fear and anger.  She managed to catch Sabia across the nose with her second blow, which sent the cat staggering back.
	“Go and find Niamh.  If anyone can help Brigit, she can,” Ciara said.
	She ducked under another slash from Sabia and dodged around her in an effort to keep the old cat away from the door.  There was a madness in Sabia's eyes that Ciara had never seen before.
	“There is death in your heart and ruin sits on your tongue.  You have come to tear down all I have built, as you destroy all you claim to love.  You tell me how I should be, that everything is my fault and if I'd only listen to you I could be happy.  But every time we meet, I lose all the things I worked so hard to achieve and you walk off without a scratch,” Sabia said.
	Ciara hit Sabia again, which sent the old cat sprawling back over a fallen chair.  Sabia dropped her sword and banged her head on the floor.  Ciara stood her ground, braced for a new attack, but Sabia lay still where she had fallen.  Ciara thought Sabia had passed out until she heard the old cat's sobs.
	“I was sorry about Alana.  I blamed you for her death, it's true, but you really loved her, didn't you?  In your own way, you really did,” Ciara said.
	She knelt beside Sabia and took the old cat's hand in her own to help her up, but Sabia pulled away from her.
	“I know everyone else hates you, but I think I understand.  You've never had anyone to love you all your life,” Ciara said.
	“Someone like you could never understand me,” Sabia said.
	“I do.  You're where Deirdre would have been without Connor.  Where I would be without Niamh,” Ciara said.
	“Selfish bitch,” Sabia said.
	Sabia picked herself back up and she swiped uncertainly at the blood and dirt that covered her clothes and Ciara saw how old the lynx queen really was.  Sabia hid it behind her armor and rich clothes and she fooled everyone.  She even managed to fool herself. But Queen Sabia was stick thin and there was more grey in her fur than Ciara remembered.
	“I will tell you a secret, my dear Ciara.  I loved Connor as deeply as Fithir ever did.  As much as your silly, romantic mother,” Sabia said.
	Sabia must have caught the look of surprise that flashed across Ciara's face, because she smiled.
	“Is it really that hard to believe?” Sabia said.
	“But you fought against him all my life.  You killed him,” Ciara said.
	“I did no such thing.  I gave no order for him to die, and if I'd been near him on the field I would have kept him safe.  I give you my word.  I wept for him when he passed, and I miss him every day.  But I think you misunderstand me.  I wasn't in love with him, it was only that we were the same, he and I,” Sabia said.
	Sabia turned away from the balcony and rummaged in her top dresser drawer to produce a bottle of whiskey.  She bit the cork out and held the bottle out to Ciara.  Ciara could smell it from where she stood, and she knew it was better than anything she'd ever tasted.
	“I'm not telling you this because I think it'll convince you to forgive me,” Sabia said.
	“That's just as well.  I don't think I could stand such a shock.” Ciara said.
	She took the whiskey from Sabia and sipped at it.  She didn't want to get drunk here, but there were certain conventions that couldn't be ignored and she wasn't about to prove Sabia right by refusing her courtesy.
	“It's too bad it all has to end this way.  You need me, my dear, just like your father did.  Where would you be without a reason to get angry and someone to blame for all the injustice in the world?” Sabia said.
	“He fell for that crap too, didn't he?” Ciara said.
	She took another drink and wiped the mouth of the bottle before she passed it over to Sabia.  The alcohol burned in her throat but she felt a little of the tension leave her body.  Sometimes she could understand why her mother drank so much.  It was a betrayal of everything she believed in, but sometimes she thought it would be a blessing to be able to give up.
	“Connor's the one who taught me that lesson,” Sabia said.
	Ciara's laugh startled both of them and Sabia huffed as she wiped at the splash of whiskey on the front of her dress.
	“My father wasn't like that,” Ciara said.
	“Well, it's a little different when you're talking to your daughter, isn't it?  You feel like you have to protect them.  You have to be careful not to let them think badly of you, or let them see the dark side of things,” Sabia said.
	“Like you did with Alana?” Ciara said.
	It wasn't fair and Ciara felt a stab of guilt at hurting Sabia like that.  The old cat sagged visibly and shut her eyes.
	“I did what I thought was best for Alana.  I wanted to make her strong, so she would survive.  You think I'd have done the same to your sister?” Sabia said.
	“I know you would have,” Ciara said.
	“No.  I see now where I went wrong with Alana.  I wanted to try to fix things, to make up for all those wasted years,” Sabia said.
	“Alana was stronger than you thought,” Ciara said.
	Sabia took another drink of whiskey and leaned back against the wall with a sigh.
	“You may think what you like about me, but I would have loved your sister like she was my own,” Sabia said.
	“I almost think you would have,” Ciara said.
	Sabia set the bottle down, a bit unsteadily, and came toward her.  Ciara stayed where she was.  She wasn't afraid of Sabia anymore and she didn't think the cat meant her any harm this time.  She let Sabia put a hand against her cheek and the old cat smiled.
	“Keep an eye on your sister for me, Princess.  We all lose our innocence too soon.  Even you.  Teach her to hold on to all she can,” Sabia said.
	The old cat turned away and picked her broken sword up off the floor.  She slashed the air a couple of times, in a half-hearted sort of way, then stuck it through her belt.
	“Come with me,” Ciara said.
	The words were out before she could stop them.  Sabia turned to look at her and, for the first time since Ciara had known her, the old cat looked genuinely shocked.
	“Help me.  Just this once.  You can stop all this fighting, all this slaughter, if you just surrender,” Ciara said.
	“You never God-damned give up, do you?” Sabia said.
	“I'll talk to Fithir.  I'll get her to see.  You don't have to like us, but what happened here isn't worth anyone's life, even yours,” Ciara said.
	Sabia shut her eyes for a moment, and Ciara thought she saw tears shining on the cat's cheeks.
	“We are not like you.  We do not love our kings and queens, and we do not forgive them for their mistakes.  May the Mother of All forgive me, I'm better off fighting foxes than mewed up in a dungeon under my own castle,” Sabia said.
	“But you'll die,” Ciara said.
	“Take your rabbits and your baby sister and go home, Princess.  After the rest of us have torn each other to pieces, maybe you can rebuild the world the way it should be,” Sabia said.
	She opened the apartment door for Ciara to leave, but Ciara paused just at the threshold.
	“Why did you come to my wedding?” she said.
	“Does it matter now?” Sabia said.
	“It slowed you down.  You knew Fithir would follow you to get her daughter back.  You knew Deirdre was there and you knew she'd take any excuse she could to satisfy her grudge against you.  It was a stupid thing to do, a stupid risk,” Ciara said.
	“My dear Ciara, is it really such a mystery?  It's just like I told you before.  I wanted to see you happy.  I've made such a mess of the rest of my life, I wanted to be sure I hadn't spoiled you, too,” Sabia said.
	She kissed Ciara as a mother might do, and smiled.  Ciara blushed and pressed her fingers against her cheek.
	“I wanted to make sure you weren't going to end up a bitter old bitch like me,” Sabia said.
	She pushed Ciara out of the door then, and Ciara heard the lock click shut behind her.