Day 1

Today was… An interesting day.

Yesterday, I came across a blank diary, floating near some shipwreck. I decided to start writing in it, but I ripped out the last page and began again today… Because unlike yesterday, where I wrote nothing but foolish reflections of the sea and her waves, something actually happened…!

My name is Atlany… But most call me Lanny! And I thought I’d never find another like me, but… I did!

Today, around my ‘territory’, the waters were calm. Even the Basculegion had left and stopped harassing me. I would have enjoyed the peacefulness, except it meant I couldn’t eat either… So I had to investigate either way!

When I did, imagine my surprise… It was… another Manaphy!

My kind are rare, you see. Often I found Phione, so something must have been making them… But me? I’d never seen another ‘me’ before… Not only that… but this one was clearly a female…

...I mean, sorry, I couldn’t help but think about it…!

She is adorable… A pale red, almost a pink! It contrasts my green-y blue pretty nicely! Although her teeth are far sharper than mine… Maybe she’s had it rough, hm?

She was just… floating there. Heh, for half a second, I wondered if she was dead… When I got close to check, ahh… I guess I surprised her! She ‘woke up’ and started swinging her arms in defense…

Well… I could feel the power behind those swings… She must have been able to swim faster than an Arrokuda… Or crush things into such small paste that those tearing teeth would be unnecessary…

I admit I was a little frightened… Just a bit!...okay, a lot actually. My life flashed before my eyes and I thought she would just knock my head straight off… But… Instead, she hesitated...
She stopped her arm just before it hit my head. It was even touching my cheek… But the look on her face didn’t say ‘furious predator’… She looked like she was frightened…

So, I told her that I wouldn’t harm her… She didn’t really seem to believe me… I don’t think, anyway. She wore her emotions on her sleeve but sometimes it was overwhelmed by panic or fury or… 

Well, she stopped either way. She turned and swam away, (and she WAS fast, like I thought!), but…

She kept looking back at me… She even stopped once, after she had swam far out, to turn around and stare…

But in the end, she swam away into the gloom of the ocean, disappearing entirely.

I should have chased her… but at the same time, I feel like she would have just bitten my throat out if I tried. So I let her swim away, and returned to my nest. The fish Pokemon slowly returned, so I could feed again. And yet… I’m left wondering if I shouldn’t have chased after her… Maybe I shouldn’t have let her go.

...ah. Well, there’s not much left I can do about it… Maybe I’ll see her again…? I really hope that this isn’t the only entry in this diary...
	Day 4

Heh. Yeah. I’m bad at keeping diaries. Or… maybe this is just a special diary…

It’s for Crimson!

Hahaha, yes! She returned! And she told me her name!!!

She’s not quite a red colour that matches her name, but it fits her well! See, on the edge of my territory this time, I knew that a lot of Pokemon were being… well…

Slaughtered.

Usually that means that an aggressive Sharpedo or similar has moved into the area… But when I got there, I recognized the ‘area of stillness’ from the first day of my diary… I knew who it had to be!

I found her at the ‘centre’ of it… She was busily chowing down on a Seel she’d caught, so she once again didn’t notice until I was a bit too close… I really need to stop doing that…

Still, a black eye is worth sneaking up on a siren like this!

To my surprise, she even sputtered an apology after she’d done it. I knew I sensed something a little softer inside… She seemed stunned to see me too. I suppose we really are that rare…?

After it became clear she wasn’t going to bolt away into the waves again, I asked her who she was… But she didn’t answer.

So I asked her where she lived…

She said the Devil’s Cove.

Oho… Well, it would explain a lot. That cove, a cliffside area near a very… ‘bad’ place… Pokemon that wander into an area don’t return. Period. No wonder I’d never met her before...
So I continued, and asked her why she swam out so far to hunt. Was it because all the fish were gone from around her home?

She didn’t answer. In fact, I think she was glaring at me. It’s kinda hard to tell, when her face is always a little angry…

After that, she seemed far less inclined to answer. I asked her a lot of things… If there were more of her kind, or if she was alone… if she had a nest, if she was okay by herself…

Yeesh, looking back on it… I kinda came off strong, didn’t I? A little desperate… But… I think we were both pretty lonely…

Well either way, she didn’t answer. She just continued tearing apart her Seel and… She’s so much more of a messy eater than me…

Then I asked if she was the mother to those Phione I’d seen floating around, and got a Seel carcass thrown at me… Ow…

She said ‘no’, and turned to storm off… But before she did, I…

...Well… I don’t really know why I did it… But I called out to her… 

I told her I would visit her again. And she stopped swimming, and stared at me…

And that’s when she told me her name…

I always write these at the end of the day, as I lie here on a stone and stare up at the stars…

I feel like I made a mistake. Why do I always feel that way when talking to her? Obviously, sometimes I’m just scared that she’s going to tear into me… But sometimes it’s a different kind of scary…

...she’s the only other Manaphy I’ve ever seen… And, I’ve made friends with lots of Water types… I don’t know. I truly never thought I’d find a female who attracted me so much. Part of it is that she shares my species, sure… But…

Even if she were a Magikarp… It would be the look in her eyes…

I bet most creatures gaze into those eyes and see nothing but raw fury… I looked a little closer, and saw… 

...I saw the stars, like I’m looking at now…

Only somehow, these are… less beautiful after seeing her’s…

...I hope to see her again…

(Torn out pages flutter their crumbling leaflets in the wind, the Diary smaller than it should be...)
	Day 17

...Hm… I finally worked up the courage to ask her, and… It’s true.

She’s having a baby. Her first.

I had suspected it, but I honestly had little to go on. I never saw a Manaphy carrying an egg before, so at first it just looked like her usual body shape. But in time, that swollen tummy became too apparent to deny. When I asked, she was trying to be casual about it… But there was a mote of worry in her eyes… Just a little shine of unsure confusion… maybe she wasn’t used to the idea either?

It was admittedly hard to imagine Crimson as a mama. She’s so brash and impulsive. Sometimes she’ll get so worked up that she simply dives through the waters and finds something to pull to pieces…

I try to accompany her on these tantrums, assuming they’re just hormonal… I just wish she wasn’t so… brutal.

I am trying to change it, although I’m not sure that’s a good thing. After all, if I change her, won’t she be different than the girl I fell in love with

Crimson is… well… She’s stressed. She has been stressed since I first found her in my territory as a whirlpool of pain and red. And I wanted to know why, so… I asked her…

By now… maybe she trusts me a little more. After all, when she comes to me now, I see those teeth far more often… But mostly just because she’s smiling more…

Haha, imagine it… Crimson smiling… If you met her, you’d know that was a hard thing to make happen… Yet I keep seeing it, as I make dumb jokes… or even when I simply show up, her expression goes from a deep frown to a soft smile, if only for a moment.

I live for that smile now… I am trying not to be obsessed… Is that what this is…? A mad passion inside my chest, longing only to make this other creature smile…

Ah… I don’t want to say what that sounds like… What if she rejected me...
Anyway, I keep wasting precious Octillery ink on my wandering thoughts instead of what happened. I finally asked her if she had a mate…

She told me no. My heart skipped into my throat…

I wanted to ask where her baby had come from, but the belly was a little bit of a touchy subject. As in, I wasn’t really allowed to touch it… Although, a couple times without thinking, I’ve reached out to massage it when she complains that it’s straining her… And I still have both arms, so…!

The questions lead one to another, until I finally asked…

‘Why do you make your home out here, in an old coral reef, when you apparently have a nest already?’

Ah. It wasn’t HER nest she usually lived in. It was… her ‘father’s’…

Well, not her literal father, perhaps. Not another Manaphy, she explained. But someone who had raised her, and whom she felt very loyal to. She told me that this ‘father’ had saved her from more pain, and tried to teach her many things, and yet…

Well I didn’t need to know the specifics of the rest. A father with a strong grasp is all the reason I’d need to run away from home, after all. But I could tell Crimson was deeply conflicted about it, and I wondered if perhaps the days where she disappeared were spent with her returning home… Maybe even back to his arms…

I don’t know… how to feel about that. I’ve never felt ‘jealous’ before, but… This burning inside, the same one that tells me to protect her, tells me to go and face this cruel father and knock him aside, so Crimson and I can return to our ne

Gah! Why are my thoughts nothing but foolish, squishy, sugar-thoughts today?! 

Well I clearly wasn’t going to defeat a creature as apparently strong as Crimson’s daddy. So I gingerly asked if she and the baby would be okay…

She gave me a funny look! And I… heh…

Ah, it’s almost too embarrassing to write in hindsight...
I asked if the baby was her father’s…!

She shoved me away, and then did something amazing…

She laughed!

It was a short bark of laughter… An indignant ‘HEH!’ more than anything… But I saw the grin on her face…

‘It REALLY isn’t…’ she insisted! I feel like my face is even redder than hers, even this long afterwards…!

Well it broke the tension at least. But now I know why she is always staring off into the distance… Probably back towards her nest, and to where her conflicted loyalty lies…

...hmm… I understand… Her Father raised her. And by the way she talks, he gave her a lot too… But… She and him don’t see eye to eye.

Ah, I won’t have that fantasy about barging into her nest and saving her though.

(Where have all the pages gone…? Why have they been torn away…?)
	Day 48

I… I am not certain what to write today… But I do know that I need to write SOMETHING…

Crimson came to me in my territory today. She was usually reluctant to do that, because of the distance and… Well, obviously, a female in a male’s territory kinda marks her as… as mated…

Never mind, I am… Ah! I’m not upset… I’m just…

It’s hard to focus!

She came, holding that enormous tummy of hers. By now it’s big enough that I could almost trace the shape of the egg inside. Swollen and heavy and… there was some sensuality about it I admi

She was in labour.

When she said that, ‘it’s time to lay my egg’, my head nearly burst then and there…

I wanted to babble a million questions! I wanted to ask, why come to me? I wanted to demand to know if she intended to take up my nest with another male’s spawn! I wanted to beg her to… To give me an answer…

I wanted to ask the question first, but she was in no condition for it.

So instead of doing any of that, I returned her quickly to my cozy little cove under the waves, and settled her in my soft nest…

I expected her to be furious and to smash all my pretty little shells and other things I’d collected as she pushed. I didn’t care. But to my surprise, she was a perfectly calm sea angel… Well, maybe that’s too far… But she was far more calm than I’d ever seen her… Everything was focused on making sure her baby got into the world safely…

As it turned out, no matter how hard it was to imagine, Crimson really did make a good mama...
She’s strong too… That’s how she swims so fast, and… Well she gave me a black eye just by bumping me with her arm, remember? So… It didn’t take much… But I think to both of us, it felt like hours…

I held her while she did it… I let her squeeze her arms around me, and I felt her doing her best to avoid crushing me…

I trusted her… I knew she wouldn’t…

I don’t feel like I did anything, to be honest, besides that… She put such effort into it, teeth grinding and… I don’t know if she was crying or simply wet from the water, but…

It doesn’t matter. She pushed her egg out into my nest… It fell onto the soft things I had piled there to sleep on…

Despite being tired, Crimson let go of me and grabbed it instantly… I could scarcely recall her being more tender than in that moment… So gentle…

Well, I knew she was crying by that point… She hugged it and…

...I couldn’t leave her in that moment… I embraced her too…

She didn’t push me away…!!!

She let me hold her… She even pushed her head to mine… she…

(Tearstains dot the page from here...)

I couldn’t help but give her everything I had… Every thought, every moment of adoration for her strength and beauty and… All the romantic things I’d ever wanted to say…

I told her I loved her.

I do love her.

...I don’t really know what she thought about it.

I’m trying so hard to just… To think the best of her. She smiled, and wiped away her tears and said that I made her feel calm, like the ocean at sunset. She didn’t want to destroy things when she was around me…! I… I’m just second guessing now, but…

...was that all I was? A place where she could be more relaxed? And not…

...well… She hugged me. She settled into my nest to rest, and after all she’d done, rightly so…

I’ve gone up to the rock above my cove to write this, so it’s all fresh in my head.

I want to look over it all when my thoughts are more in order. When I’m not trying to decide whether my heart is soaring, or shattered…

…

no matter wnwhat happens…

...ill take care of her...
	Day 55

I…

(Dozens of lines are scrawled and crossed out, before the entry begins)

Crimson’s egg hatched very soon after it was laid. An adorable, if very bitey little Phione. It already follows its mama around so obediently… I can only imagine her with a veritable swarm of little ones behind her, schooling in the currents…

I noticed something else too… Well, before I say that, I should mention that she has stayed with me. Ever since I confessed my love, she treats this place as her nest. She’s made no moves nor signs of… no…

that’s foolish to write.

She pretends like she is happy here, to put it simply. I mean, not to say that she isn’t happy… But she still stares off into the distance… Into the horizon…

Towards her own nest, hm…

Her skin is growing more red by the day. Is it because she had her baby? She says she isn’t in pain… not physical pain, at least.

But today, as I was trying to calm her down because she was upset at some fish getting away…

...she bit me…

I had almost forgotten by now that her teeth are sharp as shale. But I was certainly reminded, heh… She dug pretty firmly into my arm and shoulder, and… Well… I was slightly worried my arm would come off…

Thankfully she let go before it got too bad… And Manaphy are very vital. They regenerate fast. So in a couple of days, I’ll be right as summer rain.

Crimson didn’t take it near as well as I did.
She started shouting and, ah, I’m glad we weren’t in my den or she really would have destroyed all my shells. Instead a thick coral formation got pummeled, and she screamed the whole time she did it. Her Phione baby even hid behind me while she did it… Confused as to why their mama was being like this…

...suppose the kid will get used to it…

She missed her daddy. I mean, her Father. She broke down into tears after she was done and picked coral out of her arms with her teeth, (she wouldn’t let me help), and said that she was still… still a…

A ‘devil’?

And that her father, as bad as he apparently was, was still… family.

She didn’t want to abandon him…

She looked to me then, and asked if it was okay that she hurt things.

I didn’t know what to say, so I just stayed silent. By now, the Phione was with her again, snuggling to her side and trying to calm her down just as much as me…

She asked me if she were to tear everything in the ocean to bloody pieces for her enjoyment, would I stop her?

I still had no answer.

I’m a damned fool, aren’t I? She was emotional, she was looking for solid current to swim in, and I let her flounder in the depths…

I don’t know what I should have said, either. Should I have told her to stop?

She wouldn’t have listened. It’s in her nature… And it’s something I can’t give her…

...I can’t make her happy, can I?
NO.

NO!!!

NO NO!!!

Why me?!

Why NOT me?!

Why would she do this to me…

why would she do this to us…

I love you I love you I love you…

no, you are so stupid, you foolish fish, you could have had her by your side but instead look at you, stabbing the page with the pen!

tear them all out, I don’t WANt these memories anyMORE

gone…

what about me… 

guess i’m not family then...
Day…

I don’t know what day it is.

It’s been too long. I don’t know why I even bother to write this. I’m just…

…

I miss her.

I miss our little one.

I want…

…

	Day 1?

...so…

I guess I’m starting this over.

I’ll leave in the pages I have left. I tore out a lot, I guess…

I’m… happy again.

Crimson is back.

But I’m still a little stunned that it came true. I looked into the stars every night, and… I just… begged for her to come home…

And then she did.

She was obviously more mature… Her red colour filled out. And ah, I was right… Now she has a whole swarm of babies swimming alongside her…

I was floating about my territory with… nothing to do, and no real goal…

And then, I just turn and see her there.

I didn’t react much, because I thought I was dreaming. But after I’d stared and she didn’t move, just… floated there with that soft smile…

She was smiling at me again…

And I think that’s when my brain woke up. Maybe even for the first time since she left…

What did she say… let me try to remember it perfectly…

“So I guess instead of waiting for you to show up, now you’re waiting for me, huh…?”

...I… never even realized she was WAITING for me each time I went to visit her...
I think that showed on my face, because she chuckled softly and… she…

she hugged me…

Then she drifted back, and she said ‘I’ll visit you again’. She said it so casually, but I recognized that tone… It was the same one that I said it to her, so long ago…

I had to ask her about her father. And she blushed and looked away with a grin…

Apparently, he had been pretty devastated by her leaving too. And it made him rethink some things.

Her time away had made her think about things pretty hard too, and… Well…

She’s no longer willing to trust her ‘daddy’ all the time… But that’s why she’s only visiting…

Because she’s willing to give him a chance to change. She says he’s learning, just like the rest of us…

...I think I am too. I’m learning a lot, about how the world works… About myself, too.

It’s mostly why I wanted to restart this diary. That, and… Well…

I guess I’ll have reasons to… She’s back. She’s with me again…

I couldn’t care less about anything else!

I feel a spark inside that I think was almost dead. I’m going to clean my nest, and perhaps patrol my territory a bit. I want it all to be nice for her…

...who knows? Maybe I still have a chance to add to that swarm…?