The Foxy Fiasco: A Pyrotechnic Pantaloonery 

Once upon a time in the vibrant village of Wackywoods, notorious for its eccentric inhabitants and their wild imaginations, a peculiar phenomenon emerged. Women were inexplicably plagued by spontaneous combustion in a region they could only describe as "down yonder." Screaming ladies were seen frantically clawing at the flames engulfing their nether regions, giving birth to what would be known as the "Foxy Fiasco." 

Word spread like wildfire, turning the previously mundane corners of this sleepy town into a perpetual pantaloon-scorching battlefield. The local fire department, comprised mostly of firefighters who had earned their stripes extinguishing marshmallow-roasting incidents, were utterly baffled. With their average day mostly consisting of returning cats from trees, this fiery fiasco posed a whole new conundrum. 

Soon, Mohandas Pumpernickel, renowned inventor and self-proclaimed eccentric genius, caught wind of the village's hilarious plight. Always fascinated by bizarre phenomena, and fueled by curiosity (and a pinch of mischief), he rushed to Wackywoods to tackle this conflagrant conundrum head-on. Armed with his signature hodgepodge invention, the Patented Pantaloon Protector, he set up a lab, ready to unravel the mystery. 

While the villagers were busy duct-taping baking soda boxes to their skirts, just in case of an impromptu s'more party, Mohandas donned his lab coat and goggles. Assisted by his trusty sidekick, Hamish McSnufflebottom, a squirrel with a remarkably commanding presence, he began his experiments. 

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into surprisingly crispy months, as Mohandas delved deeper into the peculiar combustion conundrum. Occasionally, the wailing scream of a woman with singed undergarments echoed outside the lab, serving as a reminder of the urgency at hand. Little did they know, the answer to their flaming fiasco lay in the unassuming village bakery. 

It was a sweltering summer day when Mohandas and Hamish, fueled by copious amounts of coffee and the delicious scent of freshly baked cinnamon rolls, stumbled upon an innovative clue. A discarded napkin, carelessly thrown amidst the floury chaos, bore faint scribbles from the baker's fumbling hand. "The secret's in the batter, you silly splatter!" it read, in a playful rhyme that hinted at a riddling revelation. 

Immediately, our duo set out to uncover the truth by infiltrating the bakery's cozy kitchen. Disguised as a baker (and his trusty squirrel-shaped icing assistant), they tinkered with various ingredients, seeking the perfect formula to quell the fiery fiasco. 

After countless hours of mixing, stirring, and accidentally setting fire to half the kitchen, Mohandas finally triumphed. The "flame-retardant fritter," as he affectionately named it, emerged from the oven—a golden, doughy masterpiece infused with a genius concoction of baking soda, dragon tears, and a dash of good fortune. 

Word about the antidote to this insidious combustion disaster spread faster than a squirrel with a jetpack. Women flocked to the bakery, eagerly purchasing and devouring Mohandas' fireproof confections. The sight of a joyous crowd of ladies contentedly eating their way through the foxy fritters was a sight to behold. 

With the crisis averted, the villagers rejoiced, then promptly held a town-wide celebration, the kind only Wackywoods could dream up. The streets were decorated with papier-mâché torches and pants-shaped piñatas, while the now legendary bakery reaped its just rewards, becoming an obligatory stop for anyone visiting the town. 

Mohandas Pumpernickel and his steadfast companion, Hamish McSnufflebottom, became local heroes, with their tale passed down through generations with equal parts awe and roaring laughter. Their resourcefulness in combating combustible calamities, as well as the hilarity hidden within the flame-retardant fritters, became ingrained in Wackywoods' folklore. 

And thus, the Foxy Fiasco faded into history, leaving behind nothing but a few singed undies as a testament to the absurdities that can arise from a misunderstood spark. In the end, frantic clawing gave way to shared laughter, reminding us all that even in the face of the most peculiar adversities, humor, and innovative creativity can be our ultimate saviors.