It was late at night, and in the dark woods was a mysterious figure that speedily hopped from tree to tree. A sense of urgency in its movements, it leaped down onto the ground, feeling its hands hit concrete. He was one step closer to what he wanted. He stood upright, his senses heightened, while he visualised the layout of what lied before him.   One story house... Lifeforms in the large room... No sign of any-   His thought was cut short as he strained his backside.   *pfrrrrrt!*   C'mon, c'mon, c'mon... Hhhgh...   He kept it in. He knew what would happen if he waited too long before he could find what he needed. He opened the door in front of him and entered the house, taking care not to be too loud, when the sight of the "lifeforms" in the living room caught him off guard.   What the hell...? What the fuck?   It wasn't many lifeforms, but one. A green, sluglike creature with two large, gaping reproductive organs. He stepped closer before he covered his mouth, suppressing a cough.   Fuck, that stinks like fucking shit!   On all fours, he ran out of the living room, and straight into another room deeper in the house. He sensed all around, not seeing anything remotely resembling what he desperately needed.   Oh, come on! What the hell kind of house is this that doesn't- oh, fuck!   He grimaced as his legs buckled. He held onto his clothed backside, pushing his slender ass cheeks together.   *PLRRRRRBBBBTTT... PLRRRRRRRPBPBPBPBBP...*   He took a deep breath, not caring that he took in some of the sullied air, and swished his tail in front of his ass. He was surprisingly he didn't shit himself with a sloppy fart like that trumpeting out of him. He went back out into the living room, ashamed and embarrassed at what he would have to do. It was either do this or shit outside like an animal. Braving the strong stench of shit, he jostled the snoring slug, hoping to wake him.   "Hey... Get up! Get the fuck up!"   The slug stopped snoring as he opened his eyes and yawned, his massive fucklogs swinging as the creature shook him. The slug smacked his mouth, not looking scared or even annoyed.   "Uh, hello! What're you doing here-"   "Where's the fucking toilet!?"   "...Huh?"   "The toilet! The shitter, the throne! You've got one in this house out in fuck-all nowhere, right!?"   "Uh, uh, yeah!"   "Where is it!?"   The slug didn't say anything, instead he patted his large dicks.   "Here's toilet number one, and toilet number two!"   The creature pulled a face like a world champion gurner.   'Fucking what!?"   "I just said, my toilets are right here!"   "You're fucking with me-"   *PHLRRRRRRRRRTTTTTPPPPP!*   The slug took a deep sniff of the air after the creature released a sloppy, moist blast of a fart. The creature blushed before pulling his undies down.   "Goddamnit, I gotta fucking shit! So stop fucking with me and tell me where the shitter is!"   "I told you, my dicks are my toilets! Look!"   The slug opened his urethra wide, allowing the creature to sense inside as he slid a finger down it.   He's not fucking around. His dickhole's worn like an old wood floor...   Grunting, the creaturepulled his undies down, sat on one of the slug's cocks and finally let it rip.   "Ggggggrrrrgh..."   *PLOOORRRBB... FSHHHHHHHH!*   A torrent of slimy, less-than-solid scat drained into the slug's toilet shaft. The slug moaned out loud as the creature kept going, dumping out the warm, fetid contents of his bowels into that long, hard toilet hole. The creature panted hard as he shat, not caring that the slug had turned the light on. The slug gasped, seemingly in pleasure.   "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! It's a xenomorph! Yooooo! You're frickin' radical, man!!"   The xenomorph sighed, laying his tail down on the slug's toilet shaft,   "Fucking hate it when people call me that. I have a name!"   "Ooh, tell me, tell me!"   The xenomorph was sweating profusely from how draining his dump was. He was breathing a bit harder, his bowels still emptying, his shit stream not getting close to solid.   "My name's K'saiya'shaal kon Shel-eel mok'Tenaka."   "Oh, okie dokie, mister, uh... K'saiya? Is that ok?"   "Yeah, that's fine... You?"   "Fyodor! But you can call me Fyo!"   "Yeah, sure... Hnnnngh..."   The alien's black pucker flexed inside Fyodor's cock toilet, expelling the last of its messiest contents. His body covered in xeno sweat, K'saiya sighed in sweet relief.   "Ooooohhhhh, my fucking goooood..."   *PRRRRRP!*   A wet fart signaled the end of the alien's diarrhea. He looked back at the slug, his xeno cheeks red as beets.   "You wouldn't mind if I... stayed here for a while, right? My species can be known for, uh... well, taking a long time to shit."   "I don't mind at all, K'saiya! Make yourself as comfy as you need to be!~"   K'saiya was intrigued. This lifeform was a strange one, to say the least. He enjoyed having his reproductive organs as toilets, encouraging them to be used as such, and - as K'saiya inferred - used them himself. He was certainly having second thoughts about his first impressions of a disgusting little thing to never visit ever again. He lazily used his tail to play around Fyo's cock as he waited for a new round of hopefully solid shit to arrive.   "Hey, uh... Fyo?"   "Yes, K'saiya?"   "How did you get your, um... How did your cocks turn into... You know."   "Toilets? It's a long story with a bunch of dumb and inconsequential stuff to you, so here's the short version - magic and a coming of age ritual!"   "...Wow. That's it?"   "Yup! And I don't regret a moment of it! Now, what brings you here, mister?"   "Well, a lot of things... First, I don't think I was always... My species."   "A xenomorph?"   "Ugh, if I had eyes, I would roll them every time I heard that word. Yes, a "xeno-morph". I think I remember being with humans... Or, maybe, I was a human. A human scientist... Or was I a scientist of my species working on humans? Can't remember very well. But anyways..."   The alien squeezed out a brassy, long fart inside Fyo's toilet cock before continuing.   "I have a family of other... xenomorphs. Let's say they're not as civil as me. I love them, but I had to go out on my own. Hunting isn't fun for me. It's nothing compared to hot, sweaty sex with some total nobody in a shitty hotel room-... Sorry."   "You're ok, my dude~"   "Thank you... Yeah, I have sex. I'm gay. I've got rainbow undies. This sort of kinky shit is way out of my league, though."   "Yeah, I saw your undies, very cute, mister~ and don't say you aren't enjoying this, I see your boner~"   The xeno blushed again as he covered his erection, his ribbed cock pulsing with sexual energy. He lifted his tail and sat down hard on Fyo's cock, thankful that he had a distraction moving quickly through his bowels.   "Oh, uh, I gotta shit again! Here it comes!"   The alien pushed out a solid, firm shitlog from his jet black pucker. The stench of a moist, green turd seeped out of the space between the xeno's ass and the slug's cocktoilet. Fyo took a deep whiff of the dump and smiled, his other toilet leaking precum.   "Now THAT'S what I call shitstink! That's frickin' beautiful, man!~"   Fyodor huffed the shitty air as K'saiya, looking confused, just kept shitting.   "Uh... Thanks?"   *fkshhhhh...*   K'saiya kept pressing out thick, healthy logs for Fyo's toilet to consume, the alien finding it easier and easier to shit with the more he unloaded. His turds were longer and thicker as they went on, yes, but the ease was like nothing he had experienced. It was, in a word, comforting, a word that he would never think of otherwise when shitting. He leisurely wrapped his tail around the toilet he was using and shat out another log, sensing every crack and crevice of the turd he was dropping as it inched down Fyodor's shaft. Another word came to him that described his experience... Sexy.   Dumping logs down Fyo's toilet was... sexy.   The alien farted once more, heralding that his dump was nearly completed. He began to drop his next load when he grabbed his xeno cock and began to jerk off. His dick throbbed and leaked fluids as he shat into the cocktoilet, passing turds that were much heftier than those he started out with. It was so exhilarating, so relieving, so arousing! His tension swelled quickly as he pushed out the last one, a thick beast that stretched his pucker out so pleasurably! The turd slid down Fyo's shaft as it came out, K'saiya seeing Fyo's balls for the first time. His nuts were glowing green as soft, wet alien shit filled them up.   That sight was all it took for K'saiya to cum. In moments, his hips bucked forward as he set his legs on Fyo's knees, using them as supports while he shat and came. Sweet, sticky alien cum rocketed from his cock, his semen a technicolor rainbow as it splattered on Fyo's deep-green on lime-green balls. Panting hard, he settled down as he pushed out the last of his monstrous dump, a messy shart exiting the flabby and relaxed hole as a sort of kiss for Fyodor.   K'saiya was done, finally, after a long night of searching for a place to shit. He looked back to see Fyodor, smiling, his eyes closed and his breaths deep. K'saiya smiled along with Fyo, sharing some of the love with him.   "Fyo?... Thank you."   Fyodor's mouth opened, and he began to snore loudly. K'saiya didn't mind. Fyo had his fun, K'saiya had his. The alien lifted himself from his new friend's toilet, sensing no need to wipe - Fyo's cock was just that good, he supposed. K'saiya tiptoed out of Fyo's house and back into the dark woods, not forgetting his time with Fyo, and certainly not forgetting his location.   --   The following afternoon, Fyodor slathered the insides of his toilet cocks with anti ache cream. He was thinking about how much half-asleep fun he had with that xenomorph guy. He couldn't remember his name very well. Then he heard the doorbell.   "Coming!"   He put on his magic latex undies and ran to the door. In front of him were three clothed xenomorph asses, their alien cocks bulging through their undies as the three trumpeted out farts to their new family friend. Fyodor got his cocks out and, immediately, his second dick came out gallons on the alien trio. They all laughed as Fyo welcomed them inside, the three farting all over and inside Fyodor's toilet cocks, nullifying the cream with their rich stenches and moist fart juices. Fyo didn't know how long they would be there, but he was sure that their tanks would be totally empty and their undies soaked with anal juices and semen once they were done!