Chapter 1 – Let’s start from the beginning

Hi, I’m Kevin. Who are you? What you’re about to read is the story of my life, as strange and as full of twists and turns as it is. Hopefully you will like it, and writing it down helps me put it into perspective.

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? I supposed it all started when I was 11. No, that’s not quite the beginning after all…. Hm…. Well, I am a lynx. A lynx who grew up with his single mom. Dad ran out of the picture before I was even born and mom never heard from him again. I suppose I should be sad about it, but it’s hard to miss what you’ve never had. To me, a boy living alone with his mom was the natural state of things, and when I saw the concept of having a dad in action when I went over to visit friends, it just seemed so foreign to me. Some man living in the house besides me? Entirely redundant.

My childhood was a very happy one, and I couldn’t have wished for more love. My mom worked as a child psychologist and had her office in our little apartment, so I was never alone. In the evenings, we would cook together, watch movies or play board- or video games. Mom had been quite a nerd growing up, and occasionally made jokes like claiming that she had been playing Dark Souls while giving birth to me, just to beat it on extra hard mode. In the summers we would go hiking and putting up our tents smack dab in the middle of the wilderness. In school, mom encouraged me to study hard and make the most out of myself, but she backed up these hard demands by helping me to study. She had landed in the psychology field after a brief stint as a physics student, so it was like having an extra math teacher at home when I struggled.

It was also at school that I developed my first crush, at age 10. A slender little vixen named Lisa, who had started sending butterflies down my throat and into my bloodstream every time I saw her running by. At this point, I had been masturbating for two years, but had never associated it with girls at all. Touching myself down there made me feel good, so I did it. I had what I later realized were dry orgasms, At age 11 however, we had our first round of sex ed. I won’t bother you with the details since you have no doubt gone through the same experience, but beneath all the awkwardness and blushing in class, my mind was absolutely positively blown. I learned about sperm, and the thought of producing them wouldn’t leave my head.

I had a vauge idea of what girls look like undressed, and had looked up drawings in the library, so I went to town at home imagining Lisa naked, what her little breasts must look like, her young curves, the slit which I knew must exist between here legs… but try as I might, each nigh alone in bed ended in failure, as I didn’t achieve orgasm. I usually gave up in frustration, not wanting to keep at it too long since mom’s office was right next to my bedroom, and I didn’t want to let her hear. Part of the problem, I realized, was that I had to guess. Without having seen Lisa naked, my mind was grasping at straws trying to form a construct in my head. It was fruitless.

One Friday evening though, as I lay there in the dark under the covers, pulling my little foreskin back and forth as hard as I could, a memory from when I was younger popped into my head. Yes, how could I forget? When I was a toddler, my mother used to bathe together with me. Back then, I had indeed seen a naked woman. Suddenly I remembered it clearly, her beautiful mature body, her large, soft breasts, how astonished I had been to see that she didn’t have a penis as she undressed in front of me…. Suddenly, I felt a tingling in my 11 year old penis. “No“ I thought. “She’s your mother, for god’s sake, think of Lisa…“ I tried to switch my mind back, but Lisa’s imagined 11 year old tiny breasts couldn’t hold a candle to my mom’s big, inviting…. No no no no…. Back to Lisa…. Imagine her slit…. No I can’t, I’ve never seen it, it’s all a blur in my head…. But I’ve seen mom’s… that perfectly formed crevice which gave birth to me and looked so soft back then…. Imagine touching it…. Imagine being inside it…… I once was, I must have been….
Suddenly, the tingling down there grew stronger and stronger, and then…. The explosion….. my involuntary cry of “Mommyyyyyyyy!“ as my penis started pulsating, feeling so so incredibly good… semen shooting out and landing on my tummy as my mind raced through the universe and only slowly, slowly, came back down to planet Earth….. holy shit, I had just masturbated to thoughts of my mom…. Am I a pervert now?

And a moment later, the sudden clarity, and the realization that I had cried out loud as I climaxed. The ensuing blush, and a knock on the bedroom door: “Kevin, sweetie, are you ok in there? You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?“

To be continued