Lash! The body shudders in agony, a groan escapes from the throat, and a tear slides down the cheek, drawing a new wet path. Shadow clenches his teeth until it hurts and breathes frequently through his nose. There is a salty taste in his mouth from a bitten lip, and his back burns with the fire of swollen cuts, and the blood streaming down them only ignites this fire.

Nothing new, and he has already learned to endure, but right now Shadow completely surrenders to this torture in order to somehow drown out the pain in his soul with the suffering of his body.

Aidan walks around him in a semicircle and lifts his chin with a crop. Shadow obediently raises his tear-blurred gaze and indifferently looks his tormentor in the eyes. He cannot show weakness. He shouldn't make it clear what the real reason for his tears is, and why he is silent even if he wants to scream at the top of his lungs.

"What, Richie, did you like to top?" the leather tip of the crop passes deceptively gently along the cheek, leaving a bloody trail, "A new experience for you, wasn't it?" and then a sweeping strike throws his head to the side.

Shadow says nothing in response and only clenches his teeth tighter, staring at the floor. Under his palms - soft pile, under his knees - already sodden with red. A foot suddenly falls on his head, pressing it down, and the sore cheek burns by friction against the surface of the carpet. How many times has he already been in a similar situation? Too many to get out of this hell without consequences.

Too few to justify his sins.

Aidan pushes harder with his foot, twisting it in the process, and thoughtfully taps the crop on his palm. "Who would have thought that it would add so much confidence to you. 'Tired of being the bottom?'" he sighs and kicks Shadow away from him, “Richie, dear, I didn’t ask your opinion. You, of course, snarl in a very funny way, but I won't let some Gray show its teeth so brazenly. It was like you asked for punishment."

Was he asking for it? Yes, exactly. He provoked this situation, knowing what the consequence of such an open resistance would be. Aidan loves to break the rebellious ones and he never passes up an opportunity to do so. Then, Shadow didn't think why he acted so defiantly. Now he realizes that it was a subconscious craving for self-torture. Since he cannot punish himself... Let someone else do it.

Aidan repeats the maneuver in the opposite direction and is behind him again. He crouches down, and Shadow feels lilac fingers trail down his spine digging into the wounds left by the lashing blows and collecting the blood. Shadow knows, for what, and from this knowledge his insides cramp treacherously.

For the first time he is ready to beg, but not to stop, no. He wants everything to happen faster. He needs this pain. Right now, while his panicked face clearly stands before the eyes, while the hands remember what they dared to touch, until the body forgot that for the sake of its pleasure it brought only suffering. To someone who didn't deserve it. To someone whom he forced to obey.

To someone who he defiled twice.

"Come on, Richie, scream," Aidan purrs in unison with Shadow's thoughts and his fingers dig into the dark back again, pulling out another painful groan, "Since you took away my entertainment, you will pay yourself."

And Shadow wants to scream, but he can't afford it. From the very first cry he will be overwhelmed by an avalanche of feelings, which he with such difficulty keeps inside. He won't be able to stop. He will drown in tears, he will break his voice, he will over and over ask for forgiveness from someone whose forgiveness he doesn't deserve, and if in that fit he utters his name... No, he cannot take risks when there is so much at stake. When even the backup plan collapsed, like the barrier on his heart, as soon as he saw a familiar face in the interrogation room. Now he has no other choice but to remain silent and endure. And shed tears of remorse, disguising it as humiliation.

Having collected enough viscous liquid from his back, the fingers disappear in order to return after a few unbearably long moments, along with a new sensation, sharply and without preparation penetrating under the tail. Aidan enters almost completely, adding internal injuries to the external ones, and covers his member with even more blood.

Because blood is a great lubricant. 

"Tell me, Richie, did you like it?" smoothly says Aidan, slowly moving his hips, "To watch how he tries to free himself, with what desperation denies what is happening? Did you like," he makes a sharp push, "To feel his inner trembling directly?"

No. No, he was terrified. Terrified by the situation, by his own actions, by his reaction. Never, even in the most bizarre, far beyond acceptable fantasies, did he stoop to violence. No matter how much Aidan mocked him, until he knew what was, albeit defiled, the source of his strength, his endurance and patience that day after day helped him resist pain and humiliation, he didn't have a chance to break Shadow to the point he would voluntarily take such a step himself. But it took only one glance, only one moment to see tears in his eyes and understand what kind of torture he would face if he didn't intervene...

If he doesn't do it himself...

...and he had no other choice.

Aidan leans lower, thoughtfully runs his palms over each wound, ruffles the quills with wet hands, and touches dark ears. Fingers pinch and pull on the sensitive organ, forcing Shadow to throw his head back in response to this movement, and he exhales in ragged breath as sharp nails dig into thin skin, squeezing out droplets of blood.

“I know you enjoyed it,” Aidan continues mockingly, stroking the tips of his ears. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t make him cry. I taught you how to be gentle,” he makes a sharp movement with his hips, which shoots Shadow from the inside with pain, “If you want to. But you didn't complete the preparation."

He tried, he honestly tried to be careful, to be gentle, as far as the situation allowed. Tried to be slow, to not harm, but in the end...

Gods, he was crying. Seeing his tears for the first time was already torture, but when he himself caused them...

With another thrust, Shadow breaks down and wails softly through clenched teeth.

Why does it hurt so much?

Why should he put up with it?

...Why?

"You deserve it," a voice in his head says confidently. "This is your punishment for what you did. For daring to hope that everything would be okay, for not thinking about failure. You believed that they would never catch him, but where did that belief bring you? Why didn't you have a plan, Shadow, why? Why? Why did you let this happen?"

...Why?

Aidan accelerates, going deeper and deeper, and moans with pleasure when, from especially traumatic thrusts, from the jerks of fingers twisting the dark ear, from movements of the second hand scratching the back with the nails, digging into the blood-soaked fur, Shadow over and over again shudders and involuntarily tightens, almost breaking to shout. It doesn't last long - Aidan always cums quickly when he uses torture - but it doesn't stop either. With a short growl, he flips Shadow onto his back and brings the knife to his own mouth.

“It is commendable, Richie, you haven’t screamed yet,” the lilac hedgehog squints slyly. “But that’s fine,” he licks the blade sparkling in the light and smiles broadly, ”We're just getting started.”

Shadow's eyes are full of tears, and he only feels, but doesn't see, how the sharp metal pierces the flesh and slices through the tense muscles.

The dark body arches in agony, and screams fill the room.

...

...Why did you do it?

...

"You know the answer. So accept this pain."

...

...and never wish for the impossible again.