Two Big Eggs
By Kaydrien Iceclaw

Cal had two large problems. Working out on the farm left him a fair distance away from the excitement of town. And there was nobody much here now that most of the other farmhands had buggered off for the season, so the farm itself was rather lonely.
So naturally, Cal’s two large problems were the pair of oversized tanuki balls filling out his underwear with nowhere much to empty them at the moment.
Over the past five days since the last of his regular fuckbuddies disappeared to wherever they went when the fields didn’t need tending, he had become more and more agitated. At first he was sure he could handle it. After all, he’d gotten along just fine before he took this job last year. 
But it soon became apparent that the frequent attentions of his (frankly, rather slutty) coworkers had spoiled him. Maybe it was a peculiarity of Cal’s psyche, but he’d found on the second day that his hands weren’t quite up to the task anymore. 
Oh, he got close. Maddeningly close. But he couldn’t quite reach that peak, even after hours of effort. The next morning Mrs. Simmons had remarked on the bags under his eyes. She’d been concerned for his health, bless her heart.
Not wanting to distress the sweet corgi woman more, Cal had resolved to ignore it for a while. Sooner or later his libido would lower its standards again and he would be able to take care of business on his own. So the tension built, and his balls a heavier and heavier load to carry on his light chores. 
And unfortunately, when he tried again on evening four, he could tell less than fifteen minutes in that his nuts weren’t desperate enough to release their load on as little motivation as his own hand. He just had to force his hand away from his junk and bear it, eventually sinking into restless slumber.
So it was that this morning Cal was incredibly pent up. The failed masturbation sessions had been enjoyable while they lasted but without anything to show for them he was even hornier than before. He would swear that his sack was even larger than usual for his well-endowed species, pressing uncomfortably against the fabric of his overalls- Cal couldn’t bear to fit the tender orbs into his usual underwear yesterday or this morning. Trading the reminder of boxers straining to hold in his straining scrotum for the reminder of testicles rubbing against denim wasn’t really an improvement, but at least he tried.
He knew he couldn’t stand it. Cal could barely focus even as he dressed. He needed to get off, he needed it now, any way he could get it. His feet took him on the familiar trip out of the building he and the other hands shared during the growing season, out into the cold dawn air in search of relief.
Cal wasn’t even quite sure when he started where they were taking him, but either by force of habit or some subconscious inspiration he found himself outside the chicken coop. Stepping into the larger enclosure of the traditional wire mesh, he took in the red paint and wood grain making up the large shed which housed the farm’s modest selection of fowl.
The tanuki was momentarily shocked by the apparent direction of events. Was he really going to…? Well, yes, yes he was. Could he at least go out to the barn and find something a little more his size? Nope. His overstrained balls were driving now and they absolutely would not accept the five-minute delay inherent in a trip to the barn. They demanded satisfaction, and they demanded it now. 
Outvoted two to one Cal haplessly yanked open the door that served as entrance for the anthro workers, stalking into the warm interior. Amazingly his underworked gonads seemed to have gotten him up even earlier than most of the birds: Three of the half-dozen brahma hens that called the coop home glared at him balefully from where they sat on their shelf-nests, displeased by the gust of cold air. The other three, and the outright fluffy rooster, were still dozing with heads tucked up under wings or in one case propped up against a wall.
He took no notice of the murderous glares, only shrugging the strap of his overalls off of his shoulder to leave him bare to the waist. Cal must have forgotten to put on a shirt in his need, but he had only a moment to think about that as he stepped out of his only garment to take hold of the hen leaned up against the wood of the wall.
She must have been a particularly sound sleeper as she flopped a little on her way up. A muffled cluck heralded the first flicker of consciousness as Cal groped through her feathers for her cloaca. The noise that came when he shoved his aching shaft into it jabbed his eardrums viciously.
He didn’t much care at the moment. The tight passage pulsing erratically around his erection was already something of a blissful relief even though he was amazingly not quite ready to come yet. Cal’s cock wasn’t much compared to his balls- in fact, it was a bit on the small side, maybe three inches of tapered shaft added to his modest knot for a total of four. 
It was still more than enough for the chicken’s vent, unaccustomed as it was to any intrusion from the outside. If Cal had been any larger the results might have been unfortunate. But his small size coupled with the fountain of precum streaming from his tip was enough to smooth the thrusting of his shaft into something merely extremely uncomfortable instead of actually injurious to the brown-feathered hen shrieking her displeasure to the world.
The tanuki for his part was in heaven. Finally sheathed inside another living being, his penis was a focal point of incredible pleasure after the last several days of frustration. Eyes rolling back in his head, he moved the agitated chicken up and down on his meatstick like a toy, gripping under each wing. Her cloacal vent bounced off the top of his knot with every downstroke to flash sparks of desire through him and even her struggles added to the stimulation.
Those struggles were decreasing as he went though. For one thing, the frenzy of his humping was beginning to short-circuit the hen’s ability to process exactly what was going on. Any pain receptors were rapidly giving up on the idea that this could possibly be happening, leaving only the slick and repetitive penetration, and his pre was enough fluid to make her reproductive organs perk up and wonder who this productive new rooster was. Or maybe something about his berserk sex drive communicated itself to the feral fowl. 
Either way, it was only about a minute in by the clock that she was starting to enjoy herself. She let her new male know it too, struggles turning to a repetitive kick and flap in time with his motions and shrieks turning into rhythmic crowings to the same beat.
Cal for his part couldn’t keep it going forever. He might have come to pride himself on his stamina if not his size in the time he had spent with the other hands, but he had been without for five- no, make it six, after the last goodbye-for-now fuck had fallen through- days and the legendary tanuki testicles had been hard at work in anticipation of the next lay which never came. When the chicken’s entrance gave up entirely and let his knot slip in, it pushed him over the edge.
Overactive balls let loose. Spurts of cum erupted from his tip into his feral toy one after another with astounding force and volume, stretching her innards even further than they already were around his achingly hard shaft. Unable to stop even with the beginning of his release he shoved and pulled, grinding his knot against the inside of her entrance as he shot again and again and again.
And it just kept going. That wasn’t anything new really, even with regular emptying the old tanuki magic had always kept his reserves deep. With the recent denial Cal felt as though he could keep cumming for hours.
It might have been another aspect of ‘that old tanuki magic’ that let the poor hen take it. What other explanation could there be as she began to swell, insides expanding more and more as she started to visibly swell. She was in a birdy paradise as her innards were blown up like some sort of balloon even as her quota of feminine needs was filled out for the next year, both by the endless stream of baby batter from the tanuki.
Cal only noticed the rapid overfilling of his partner once the repeated joyous crowing turned into cheerful gurgles. Looking down from the point a million miles away his gaze had been fixed on, he saw that the brown hen was swelled out to about twice her previous size, wings and legs comically small on her jizz-filled bulk. The gurgling was because his output had finally forced its way entirely through her digestive system and begun to drip out of her beak.
The sight of his cum dripping out the opposite end of his conquest sent a new flush of arousal through him. Only the shock of worry accompanying it made him drag his length out of her- surely your average chicken was not rated to contain that much fluid. Her glazed eyes and blissful burbling seemed to argue otherwise even as they signified a birdbrain too overloaded by pleasure to protest his pulling out, but he really did not want the hen to actually explode.
But even his concern couldn’t stop his gargantuan release. Long white spurts that only marginally fell short of the standard set by large water-gun toys and the pressure-washers meant for cleaning automobiles sprayed out to soil the feathers of two of the other hens who had sat there on their nests. Small brains unable to settle on a course of action until now, set them flapping and stumbling out of the line of fire, leaving only the hay of their nests and their newest eggs to be covered in gooey jets.
Huh. Thought Cal with his sole unoccupied brain cell. I pull to the left.
There was no time for that though. Even through the pleasure of his first orgasm, even with it still happening, the tanuki’s need still egged him on. He still needed to fuck. His seed needed to be inside something.
Besides, this was going to be an absolute mess otherwise.
He set his hen-cum-balloon down as gently as his hormones would allow. Still adrift in a sea of sexual endorphins and slowly dribbling his thick seed from both ends, the brown hen watched as her odd, furry rooster stepped forward again to grab at one of her companions, this one grey-feathered and still uncomprehending of her peril.
Cal had hoisted the new hen, face to face with the bird. His right hand grasped her by the drumstick while the other gripped her under the opposite wing. Still stunned, she didn’t much struggle as he lined his still shooting shaft up with her pink vent, and pushed in.
Now that some of the edge was off, Cal could at least try to go a little slower for the benefit of this hen. Emphasis on ‘try’. Her front was covered in his gunk from the brief moment spent finding his angle, and even as he pressed in (a micron per second slower than his first penetration of the morning) his next burst of cum pressure-washed into her insides, already more than any rooster could have propelled into her. 
It lubricated his way in though. He groaned in pleasure and desire as his tip nudged into a hard surface inside her- Cal was pressing into today’s egg. The idea of bathing it in his juices and somehow impossibly overwriting it into some bizarre hybrid drove him wild and sent another jet into her, so powerful that it forced the egg back. It was incredibly hot fantasy for him. Impossible or at least implausible of course, and later he’d wonder what the hell was going on in his head that he could find it arousing, but for right now it sent him into his second orgasm before the first had even ended.
Now gripped by both legs, one in each hand and levered apart to give the tanuki more access, the hen was held up as much by his small but rock-hard erection as anything else. Having seen this happen to the other bird a moment ago and already under the influence of Cal’s maybe-not-entirely-natural cum she lost herself in featherheaded orgasm almost immediately.
For the first dozen spurts of the cock in her hole she could feel her egg forced back up her birth canal, slipping back down as each eased for an instant, in a completely different rhythm than the shaft forcing its way into and out. But only for the first dozen spurts and twenty or so thrusts. After that, her female tunnel was forced too wide by his jizz to feel him or the egg moving around inside. She could only feel the static building pleasure of being way too gloriously full.
This time Cal could watch as the hen he was buried in swelled out in front, ballooning wider and wider until he could actually see a bit of stretched skin here and there between the feathers. This angle shoved his cocktip into the side-passage inside her that lead to her reproductive organs, so there was no way for any of his seed to escape by climbing through her bowels and stomach and up her esophagus. All of it was forcing its way into her womb and through to her ovaries where. The pressure pushed sperm into ova with enough force to make a credible (if doomed) attempt at knocking her up forever, incompatible or no.
This was interrupted by a frenzied battering of feathers and beak against the fur of Cal’s shin. The rust-colored rooster had finally woken up enough to realize that HIS hens were being stolen!
The unwelcome interruption may have been a good thing on balance. In his startlement at the sudden assault, Cal lost his grip on the hen’s legs. The force of his next surge of ‘nuki nut juice propelled her off of his shaft, just when she was reaching the absolute limits of her capacity. 
Like a feathery bottle-rocket (not nearly that fast but following broadly the same physical principle) she flew forward, fortunate to land on an unoccupied empty nest by way of cushioning. The impact drove a splash of mammalian jizz out of her rear entrance to splatter over Cal’s foot. She cooed in cum-sodden happiness at the break and clucked enthusiastically when her egg sank and settled at gravity’s command against her inner walls.
Barely paying attention to that, Cal grabbed at the rooster attacking his leg without thinking. Incredible as it was he still wasn’t entirely finished, though his nuts had shrunk down to something closer to their original size. He was filled with a mixture of horniness and annoyance that bubbled up his spine: How dare this bird interrupt him during his orgasm? Well, his balls told him, [i]we know what to do about that.
Holding the rooster’s legs together with one hand he hauled it up to glare at it, wings a chaos of frantic movement. He darted up with his other hand to take hold of the rust-colored avian’s neck at the shoulders- not hard, Cal didn’t have a mean bone in his body unless you counted the cock still emptying white gunk onto the floor- and brought the rooster down to his crotch ass-first.
He was not particularly gentle but the copious lubrication of his ongoing release eased the way enough to prevent any unfortunate injury once again. Still, the rooster was even tighter than his females, not being made to stretch enough even for eggs to leave let alone a cock to get in.
Cal fucked him hard and fast, feeling his shaft press into the spasming insides of the shocked and shrieking rooster. Adjusting his angle a little with each thrust the tanuki was fairly sure he was alternating between filling the bird’s tight bowels and even tighter seed-passage. 
As before the feathery menace started to swell. His innards filled up and his internal male parts backfilled. The foreign hormones in his ravager’s jizz tingled into his inner walls coupled with the repetitive savage thrusting to produce a sensation not quite like an birdish orgasm. The confused cock let out a bedraggled squawk, unable to fathom the sensations trickling through his innards, internal testes filling up proportionally bigger than Cal’s had been this morning with the reversed flow and signaling sexual need to his brain even as he had no idea what was going on.
Finally, finally, with the rooster plumping up heavy in his grip, Cal’s furious arousal began to die down to something that didn’t drown out every other need, and he fell to his knees on the dirty floor.
“What in goodness’ name is going on-“ The undiluted relief was fouled by the opening of the door, and the hair-raising sight of Mrs. Simmons’ tan and-white furred face emerging around the corner, eyes widening as they fell on Cal and the three well-stuffed chickens. “-in… here?”
Sheer terrified reflex made Cal jerk his hands away from the befuddled rooster, which sagged to the wood of the floor, slumping forward. As the bird slipped off his cock the tanuki’s last spurt lazily flowed out, released more by the sudden absence of pressure than crowded out from within, to glaze over the fowl.
Cal’s mortification at being caught was interrupted by the rooster’s violent spasm. For a horrible instant he feared he might have seriously hurt the soaked bird, but looking closer… It was desperately trying to hump the floor, as well as the swollen middle it sported will allow.
Full beyond endurance and hopped up on the testosterone built up in Cal’s semen, he was having his own (actual) orgasm. Or maybe still having Cal’s orgasm, depending how you looked at it. Overstrained avian testicles pumped out an expanding puddle of mammal jizz onto the floor as he ground his cloaca against it, on and on. 
Cal and Mrs. Simmons stared at the overburdened bird, helpless to look away at the sight. When the rooster had expelled enough cum to get his feet under him, he slipped and crawled back to the nests. Jumping onto the only remaining hen, too shocked or too dim to clear out after the excitement had gotten underway, he started rutting her senseless in a cloacal kiss. Right next to them, Cal’s second conquest bawk curiously at the pair. Even as the anthros watched, that hen’s egg oozed to her well-used vent, plugging it momentarily before it slid out, immediately covered with the gush of semen following it.
“…Well. That explains the noise.” Mrs. Simmons broke the silence, voice a little dazed.
“I-I can explain!” Cal’s words tumbled out of his mouth in a rush. Trying to hide his balls from the farmwife was a lost cause, but his hands protectively clutched over his meager member. It was still hard as steel. Or possibly hard [i]again[/i] after the rooster’s little show.
“Please do.” The corgi woman’s left eyebrow was crooked.
“W-well, you see, I didn’t mean to!” So doomed, so doomed, so totally doomed rattled the mantra in his brain.
“How do you do that and not mean to?”
“-I was, that is, after Colin moved out I got so full, and then I tried but it didn’t-“ This was it, he was going to get fired and probably arrested.
“I see. Well, young man, if you’re all empty now-“ Astoundingly, she didn’t sound angry. Her tone was of… amusement. “Then I suggest you clean up.”
“…Buh?”
“Well, look at that mess. It’s not going to clean itself.” The frocked little woman was actually grinning. “And you should probably make sure the poor dears are set up comfortably, since they don’t look like they’ll be up to moving around much.”
“I’m not in trouble?” Cal gaped wide enough to swallow one of the chickens whole.
“Oh yes you are.  Do you know what an infernal racket you raised?” 
“I mean the, the-“ Cal hopelessly waved a spare hand at the well-fucked hens, and the rooster now working on the first hen as if he could reclaim her by topping her back off with Cal’s semen.
“Just make less noise, Caleb. Or try the barn, it’s further from the house. And-” Mrs. Simmons stepped outside, taking one last long look at his large exposed balls. She called back cheerily over her shoulder. “If you have trouble getting empty in the future I’d be happy to help. Mr. Simmons won’t mind.”
Cal sat there for a long time waiting for his brain to catch up. Then, already feeling his balls filling back up in anticipation and ignoring the noise of the rooster filling up another hen, he stood to get a mop.

The End