Breakfast at Castle Acorn

Castle Acorn had always been a safe space, whether for the royal family or for any visitors who were invited to visit. It was a haven.

And what a haven! A stay at the Acorn dynasty's official home included the softest of soft beds, spacious and well-decorated rooms, toasty warmth, and the most delicious of breakfasts. None of that was easy to get under Robotnik's reign, but the Acorns ensured that their guests got to enjoy the benefits of such luxuries. 

KG and Mina had come to discover this a long time ago, and they had also learned that this laying-on of luxuries was not a result of the Acorns' elitism, but instead borne of an understanding of the need for true rest and recuperation: when you stayed at Castle Acorn, you left feeling refreshed, and that was a must for any public figure, whether royal or celebrity.

When you were in the public eye, you couldn't afford to be anything less than your best.

KG – or Iron Python to his growing base of fans – woke gradually. For the time being he kept his eyes shut and simply sensed his environment, basking in the warmth that came not only from the fire across the guest bedroom but also from his mammalian lover and bandmate. 

They had fallen sleep naked together, with Mina hugging him to her chest. KG wasn't yet awake enough to consciously decide not to move from this delightful position but he must have given Mina some indication that he was awake because she lazily tightened her grip on him and pushed him closer into her bosom. 

Her breasts were fake, augmented by surgery, but that was Mina's secret – and one that she had shared with KG. 

That was fine by him. He loved everything about them. He loved their smoothness. Although they were covered with soft, flat-lying hair they felt hairless, even to the tip of his snout, so that when he pressed his face into them it felt like true skin-on-skin contact. The space between them was extra warm, and as a snake, a little part of his distant ancestry compelled him to seek enclosed spaces – especially warm ones. It wasn't just an unspoken familiarity that enticed him about them either: as a reptile, the very concept of breasts as a food source was alien. Nipples were the crowning glory of that concept – quite literally. They weren't naturally a part of reptilian life; they had a strange kind of otherness about them, and that made them exotic and fascinating to him. They reacted to touch by firming up. They went soft when left to calm down. They fit in the mouth just so. They were meant as an enticement, almost like a cherry on a cake.

Perhaps it was no wonder that KG had snuggled into them in his half-wakefulness. 

As his awareness resurfaced he became aware of the light on the other side of his eyelids. So the daylight was coming. He opened his eye a crack and saw the curtains letting in fragmented light. It wasn't full daylight yet. No hurry to wake up.

Mina moaned quietly and shifted, and the python focused his gaze on her. They made eye contact.

“Morning, angel-tits.” 

“Morning, sexy-boy,” she replied.

KG put his muzzle to her generous cleavage and wiggled it into the dark space, digging for that warm and inviting place. Given that he was slightly lower in the bed than Mina, he had to look up to bring his lips to hers. 

Her own lips were already there for him, opening to engage in some early-morning Frenching. Her lips were as warm and enticing as her breasts, and the utter lack of any need to tense himself, even to hold his head up, made their lip-locking a relaxing and gentle way to wake up. Their arms remained draped over one another and barely moved, even when KG took a short journey from her lips to kiss the corner of her mouth, her cheek, her upper lip and the tip of her muzzle. 

Mina responded to this without surprise – it was a journey he made often. He even sensed a ghost of an impression of reluctance in her as she lowered her head again to find his lips with her own. Their faces close, he pressed his muzzle adoringly against hers and felt the press of the leather of her nose. It was starting to wetten but not grow cold yet. She was waking, slowly.

So was he. Maybe it was the smouldering bliss of kissing his girlfriend, maybe it was the light that was filtering in from the fabric of the curtains, getting stronger as the sun rose. Either way, the day was coming. 

Finally they both came up for air and KG found himself looking into Mina's eyes. They were still half-closed with sleep, but she was more awake than not. So was he. 

The light was strong enough to lend colour to the scene. Instead of muted greys and blues, now KG could see colour. And in that moment, the colours he saw were the lilac of Mina's hair and the rich yellow of her fur. 

Mina closed her eyes, stretched and yawned, arching her back, and rolled over to fling her legs over the side of the bed. 

KG took a moment to savour the sight of her naked back and the comfort of the bed before acknowledging that it was probably time to get up. He was still thinking about it and not doing it when Mina looked over her shoulder at him.

“Seen something you like?” she asked, her eye just about visible through her mussed-up hair.

“Mm hmm,” he answered, reaching out to play with the fluff of her tail. He levered himself up to lean on his elbow as a small concession to getting out of bed and then went up onto his knees so that he could crawl closer. She barely moved as he brought his snout to the point between her shoulder blades and planted a kiss there. That done he kissed the next vertebra. Mina let out a little moan of love, or pleasure, or consent, he wasn't sure which, but it was a good sound, so he kept on kissing his way down until he reached the huge, plump focus of his affections: her ass. He moved his head around to one smooth cheek and, his black hair falling into his eyes and not caring about that one little bit, planted a firm and lingering kiss on the beautiful expanse of flesh.

He looked up at her, unable to keep himself from smiling, and they smiled at each other for a moment.

“Ye hungry?” asked KG, almost breaking the spell but not quite.

Mina nodded. “I think I'm ready for breakfast.”

The prospect of food drew KG's attention to his stomach. “Aye, me too.” 

“Then you'd best put some clothes on,” answered Mina, leaving the bed to find a day dress. 

KG rolled onto his back, pushing the bed sheets down as he did. “Want a bit of sausage wi’ yer muffins?”

Mina laughed, balled up on her dress and threw it at him. 

~*~

As KG and Mina left the guest bedroom, the click of their door closing awoke Snap the ferret. 

Snap, much like KG, had eager senses so even the distant and quiet snick of a door's lock sliding shut down the hallway was enough to bring him out of his slumber. 

The mental haze cleared and Snap became aware of where he was and how he felt. He was in the master bedroom, in bed next to Sally. Despite her weight, his portion of the bed didn't tilt; she had bought a bed designed especially to be able to let her sink down into it without making Snap roll towards her in his sleep.

But more important to him was how he felt. As he woke up his pelvis and legs started to glow with a fairly strong ache. The pain made him wake up more, and the more alert he became, the worse the pain got.

Sally was The Kingdom of Acorn's premier in more than one sense. She was the princess, of course, but she also had the biggest arse in the kingdom. That wasn't just fancy – she really did. Sally was proud of her figure and had arranged pageants to find out if she truly was the fairest of them all, so to speak. And what fantastic days those had been for Snap! 

Thinking over those pageants, where big-arsed women of all species had been all around him but the winner had been his lover, Snap felt a rush of happiness. But right at this moment, that happiness was hard to sustain. 

Maybe if he got up and moved around, the buzzing ache of his lower body would reduce a little. It wouldn't hurt to try. Or maybe the better phrase was, no pain no gain.

It just meant he had to be careful not to wake her up. If he did then knowing her preferences, she would probably want to ride him again and if that happened, he wouldn't be able to walk for another week. He was dangerously close to walking like a penguin for the next few days as it was.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, and listened and felt the little movements of the bed through his back, to get a sense of whether or not she was still asleep. She lay on her front, the bedsheets thrown off in the night, her face buried in the crook of her arm and her voluminous red hair delightfully mussed. His best guess was that yes, she was still asleep. This was where the specially-designed bed came in helpful: it allowed him to get up without disturbing her. 

Snap's brain decided to get up in one fluid motion to avoid risking waking her up. When his body tried to follow through with his brain's instruction however, he realised the flaw in the plan. Everything from his waist down felt like it had rusted solid – and that was a disconcerting experience for a normally flexible creature like a ferret. In truth he only managed to get his legs half way off the bed before his muscles seized up and wouldn't allow him to bend any further. Suppressing a grunt he used one arm to lever himself up, but kept a low profile as much as he could. In this way he more or less rolled himself off the bed and collapsed as softly as he could, rag-doll style, on the floor. 

His clothes were still there, discarded carelessly the night before. Well, most of them. Laying on the floor he stretched over to where his underpants were and put them on with the kind of care that implied they were made of nitro-glycerin. His socks were... one of his socks was in sight, across the room, but the other one had been thrown somewhere else. He didn't need socks. 

His green tshirt was right beside him so he donned that too with a little more ease than the rest of his clothing. Then he ran through the events of the previous night to try to track down his jeans. They couldn't have gone far.

The foot of the bed. He rolled onto all fours and crawled along and was rewarded with a pile of blue denim. He rolled onto his back and put them on too, sliding the zipper up very carefully.

He got to his feet with some difficulty and assessed his current level of stability and mobility.

Yes, he was definitely going to be walking like a geriatric penguin for a while. It was worth it – being ridden by Sally was a phenomenal experience, in pretty much every conceivable sense of the word – but it came at a cost, and that cost was severe DOMS.

He looked over at the door and started to hobble over. Then he stopped. He couldn't leave without saying good morning to Sally first – even if she had to stay asleep for it. He looked back at her. 

It was going to be risky. He shouldn't. Not if he valued his mobility.

Her bum curved up magnificently into the air, her thighs relaxed but powerful, her waist dipping down from her arse like the trough of a wave on the ocean. She was truly one of elemental beauty. That's how he saw it, at least.

Snap made a decision. No point in living if it wasn't 100 per cent! He hobbled back to his love and felt a smile spread across his face as he went. With care, he placed an open palm on the bed so that he could lean in close, and mashed his lips into the nearest arse cheek in a full-on kiss. He followed it up by a lick. The flat of his tongue picked up on the prickle of her fur and made it a little more slick. It felt smooth as he licked with the lay of the fur and tasted mildly visceral. The taste of well-groomed fur tinged with sweat and maybe the odd trace of something from himself.

There, he thought with satisfaction. That's the stuff!

That smile still on his face he backed up and repeated his hobble to the door, this time making it all the way there and picking up his Converses on the way. Pressing the door firmly shut with his shoulder to keep it quiet he twisted the lock and gingerly released it. The door swung open with almost no sound at all. He doddered his way around it and closed the door with equal care on the other side.

Standing in the corridor, his feet planted a little wider than usual and very aware of the sensation of carpet on his soles, he believed he was home free. 

He decided he would put on his shoes when he reached the stairs. It just felt like he was jinxing it if he put them on here. It felt pretty likely he'd fall over and make a big crash, and stairs offered a place to sit anyway.

~*~

That kiss on Sally's butt cheek had been a mistake: it had woken her up. She had assumed he was still in the bed with her and indulging in a spot of preliminary foreplay, and had just been letting herself rise up from sleep to wakefulness when she had heard the door close.

She opened her eyes and raised her head to look around the room as if to confirm that she was right and that he hadn't visited the bathroom instead. No, he was gone.

Sally reached for the hand-held unit on her bedside table.

“He left, didn't he?” There was no need to say good morning to Nicole; she responded to such niceties but that was because she was programmed to. They didn't truly make a difference to her.

Nicole's lights flashed as she spoke. “Affirmative, Sally.”

Sally sighed, annoyed. 

Nicole may have been an AI, but she was built with the smarts to recognise displays of irritation when they were presented, so Nicole responded to diffuse the situation. “Shall I bring him back, Sally?”

“No. Escort him to breakfast in any way you see fit. I'll get him there.”

~*~

Snap wasn't able to have a spring in his step, but certainly his mind felt buoyant. What other way was there to feel after a night with Sally – and after the ego boost of escaping a tricky situation? He may have been paying for Sally's affections now but that was nothing a good breakfast couldn't sort out.

All he needed to do was go around this corner, get to the stairs where he could put on his Converses, and-

He walked straight into an enormous pair of tits. 

“Good morning, Snap.”

The first couple of times this had happened he had been shocked. Nicole had a way of materialising in such a way that one moment you were alone, the next she was not just in front of you but right there, in your face. It was quite the ambush technique. And she used it in tandem with the concept of air-bags. Snap had 'crashed' into them enough times that it didn't quite have the same shock value any more. 

“Grrf mhhnm,” he answered. She'd bared her breasts – that was furry flesh against his face, not just toga fabric.

Sally was not the jealous type, especially not when it came to Nicole, so Snap had come to learn that it was fine to stay within the firm warmth of Nicole's cleavage when she ambushed him.

And anyway, his obliques, hamstrings, glutes and several other muscle groups were so fucked from last night that he wouldn't have been able to shy away even if this had been the first time. Instead he let himself sink a little deeper in.

Nicole held her ground. The good support, as always.

Snap extended his tongue and licked her cleavage, revelling in the divide he could feel between her two fun-bags. Far from pulling away, he stepped closer in, his hands slipping around the curve of her arse so that he could grope it a little and keep her close. Not that she was likely to pull away either – ultimately Nicole was reactive, and would stay there for as long as he kept enjoying her.

He moved his mouth from the cleft of her cleavage to her right nipple and put the flat of his tongue to it. He could feel it protruding from her thin breast fur. After a moment of sucking on it, he moved over the the left one and gave it the same treatment.

A nipple pointing into the cushion of his tongue, he let his hands slide upwards so that he could feel the relative firmness of her waist before touching his way back down to her ass, kneading it in his hands.

He finished up by kissing each of her breasts and then meeting her lips with his own. As he explored her mouth, her breasts – the nipples a touch damp – pressed against his tshirt. Finally he stepped away and looked at her. 

“Shall I help you down to breakfast?” she offered, tucking her tits back into her toga when she was sure he had had his fill. “You must have been through quite the ordeal last night.”

“Mm-hm,” he said, glancing over his shoulder and remembering that Sally could come down the corridor at any moment. Getting himself downstairs and installed in the breakfast room was probably for the best. 

So he leaned his back against the wall for support, pulled on his Converses, and walked down to the breakfast room with Nicole, his hand on her ass.

~*~

The luxury of Castle Acorn was by no means limited to the bedrooms. Breakfast was always a delightful way to start the day, with Mercian pastries, cereals, breads, fruit juices, a selection of teas and creamy milks and yoghurts to choose from as standard. On this particular morning though, with two North Mercian guests, Sally had gone one better and arranged for breakfast options that would make KG and Snap feel right at home: oatcakes and porridge (made with butter, dark sugar and golden currants, no less!).

KG had picked his breakfast choices and made his way to the communal round table, but no sooner had he sat down when Mina had decided that her own seat wouldn't do. Instead she straddled him.

The python wasn't that surprised – this was almost routine for them as a couple, especially on mornings like this when they had time to spare. He had to use his feet to push their chair back a little to make space for her but that was no biggie. No biggie at all.

She searched for his eyes with her own and they gazed at each other for a long moment. It took several seconds for KG to realise that he had already rested his hands on the small of her back to hold her close but when he noticed, he didn't want to move them away. He and Mina seemed to fit together in so many ways. Physically, definitely. Emotionally? Very much so, yes. Sexually, musically... he could have counted the ways.

“I noticed you didn't choose anything with milk,” she said, a certain bright chirpiness in her tone that made it very clear she was being playful while also playing innocent in that way she did. Playfulness made the performer, after all.

He felt a smirk twitch at one side of his mouth. “Aw no!” he lilted back at her, tilting his head to let a lock of his unruly black hair fall out of his eyes. “And I’m pinned doon now. Where’m I gonnae get any milk from?”

Her smile, which she had been trying (somewhat unsuccessfully) to rein in, broke free into one of the beautiful, spontaneous smiles he had long since loved and she leaned in to kiss him. As their lips danced she reached for his hands and moved them to her tits.

He felt their weight and warmth, the way the fabric of her dress gently held them together. Once he'd touched them with the palm of his hands he flipped his hands over and stroked them again with the backs of his hands. Mina had always enjoyed the tickle of his knuckles against the soft skin of her breasts, and fabric didn't seem to make much of a difference. 

She straightened up enough that their lips detached. 

“So this is where I'm getting my milk, then?” he said playfully. 

“Oh-” she said, suddenly sounding more eager-to-help. She pointed at her right tit. “Well actually, that one does milk and this one,” she pointed at her left one, “does orange juice.”

“Aww,” he said, faking being pleased by this service. “That's very clever. But what if I want a bit o’ cream in my tea?”

“It's your job to make the cream,” she said before breaking out into squeaks of laughter, leaving KG to catch up as she convulsed with hilarity on his lap.

Which he did. “Aw no, that's awful! I'm gonnae to make the waitresses blush if I do that! I'll get the jail!”

Mina was still gasping with laughter. “Yeah, but – look at – look at the bright side. You'll be able to stir it in with, with...” was as far as she got before her laughter devolved into the wheeze of the truly tickled. Her eyes squeezed shut and most of her muscles clenched and rattled, and she rested her forehead against KG's.

The python had never stopped grinning. Just as it looked like she was about to recover he said, “And in the royal castle too! I cannae take you anywhere.”

That earned him a fresh spell of laughter and he couldn't help but join in.

At length the laughter dissipated and Mina looked down at KG. Just then a door opened at the other end of the room. Mina's ear turned in its direction and she glanced that way. Her expression turned from one of hazy love to almost-concern. “Oh god,” she murmured to KG, “here comes the walking dead.”

KG looked over to see Snap hobbling as if his hamstrings were about an inch too short, his tail thrust out behind him and his feet set wide, Nicole walking almost-straight and allowing Snap to use her for support. If the holo-lynx hadn't looked so composed KG would have thought they looked like a pair of misfits stumbling home together after a night on the sauce. He laughed and Mina dismounted to go help.

She joined the pair on Snap's other side. The ferret was already pushed a little against Nicole's left breast, but when Mina took his other arm both ladies pushed further in, and he disappeared into the all-surrounding cushion of flesh. 

KG's smile never left him as he learned back in his chair, one arm slung casually over the backrest. He wasn't jealous – this was one of their running jokes as a group. He wasn't entirely sure how much Nicole got it, being an AI, but she knew that something was up and had admitted to using the joke an an opportunity to further learn the nuances of being truly emotionally alive.

In KG's opinion she was very welcome. 

For all of that however, Snap did seem to be in genuine discomfort. He wriggled his head a little to get his snout out of the front of the wall of tit, but his reluctance seemed to have more to do with weakness than reluctance.

However bad it was, the snake was sure his ferret friend would recover. And had enjoyed his trials in the first place. He watched unhurriedly as the trio made their way to the table and Nicole freed up one of her arms to pull out a chair for Snap. Between them, they lifted him by his forearms and lowered him carefully onto the chair.

Snap winced a little as he began to put weight on his glutes and thighs. Once he'd recovered from the pain he rested his arms on the table, careful to avoid the cutlery and crockery, and looked wordlessly at KG.

“Do I need to say anything?” asked KG wryly.

Snap groaned as Mina and Nicole sat down, Nicole with the same, almost military efficiency as KG had come to expect and Mina with her usual sense of excitement. She had barely made contact with her seat when she said, “How was your night with the fattest ass in the kingdom?”

“Rough night, big chap?” echoed KG, since Snap seemed to be taking a moment to gather himself.

“Oh, just don't. I was walking like Kryten out of Red Dwarf to get down here.”

“As I can see.” KG really couldn't keep the smile off his face. It was a good thing Snap had a thick skin underneath that brown mammalian fur. They both did, and KG knew perfectly well that if the situation were reversed then Snap would be laughing. Absolutely. And KG would love it.

“I met Snap in the corridor a few steps from the master bedroom and helped him down,” Nicole said, leaning forward with her elbows on the table. “I don't think he could walk normally if he tried.”

KG knew what was up. Nicole was experimenting with being conversational, possibly even trying to join in with the joke. The attempt felt a little off to him but her leaning-in like that – her forearms posed to rest her chin in her hands and squeeze her tits together – was a noticeable deviation from her usual, more neutral pose. The holo-lynx's efforts to make her behaviour more natural, more empathic, were paying off over time, but it was clearly an uphill struggle for her. 

“Ah!” he growled good-naturedly and rubbed at Snap's shoulder, “he'll live. Get some breakfast down ye and ye'll be awrite!”

Snap half-grinned at KG but then seemed to realise something. He looked at Nicole. “What do you mean, “if I tried”? I was trying.”

Nicole paused as she processed this and decided how to answer. To stall for time she tilted her head, which made her black hair shine in the early morning sun streaming in through the window. “You have several pulled muscles. Research tells me that tiger balm and hot baths can speed up DOMS recovery. None of my sources cite burying your face in to a cleavage as a cure.”

KG had been sipping on orange juice, which was probably a bad move while Nicole was flexing her humour muscles. He snorted with laughter and shot juice up the back of his snout, which set him coughing. 

There was a moment of stunned silence from Snap before he stammered, “W-well, a) you just appeared in front of me, and b) it was quite a good distraction from the pain.”

Which earned him a heartier laugh from KG and Mina. Nicole looked around, smiling, and KG suspected that she felt pleased with herself for helping to prompt this kind of hilarity in her companions.

Once the laughter started to die down Mina leaned in too, mirroring Nicole's position. “So Nicole. What can Snap eat to heal faster?”

“Cottage cheese, manuka honey, green leafy vegetables, turmeric, and sardines,” came a very factual answer from the holo-lynx.

“Mmmmm!” Mina said appreciatively, looking pointedly at Snap and rubbing her belly.

Snap looked deadpan at his friends. “You're all bastards and I hate the lot of you,” he said before reaching for a slice of toast. The ferret gazed into space as he chewed on his dry toast.

Nicole looked up from their table. “Good morning, princess.”

The ferret dropped his toast and gulped, then dared to look. 

Despite her size and weight, Sally had always had a very clipped persona. It wasn't unpleasant (except to the very thin-skinned), it was just that Sally worked on the assumption that other Mobians had little time for small talk so appreciated for it to be kept to a minimum so that they could get on with the important things – whether those things were business or pleasure. Her figure belied her attitude: she looked ripe, fertile, and generous, and if KG hadn't known her he might have guessed she would have a 'bubbly' personality. 

But no, he wouldn't call her bubbly at all. He knew better than that. 

Come to think of it, KG wondered to himself, maybe that's where her attitude and her figure tie in. As the princess approached, her hips swayed and there seemed to be something unstoppable about her. Her no-nonsense personality didn't translate to a stick-thin figure as some might suspect, but to one that brooked no argument from anybody.

Least of all Snap.

“Good morning Mina, KG. Did you sleep well?” she asked. 

The couple both responded with a bright chorus of “Really well, thank you,” and “Like a baby,” but the ground squirrel had already moved on. Her power-strut took her around to Snap where she grabbed the back of the chair to pull it out. Then she stepped in between him and the table and bent over so that her enormous ass was barely an inch from his face. She wiggled it, her naturally upturned tail barely shifting with the gesture. 

“Uh, Sal-” Snap tried to object, right before she slammed her ass into his lap, just as if he wasn't there.

As she dropped her full weight on him, wiggling her arse just a little more, the chair creaked dangerously. Maybe Snap did too, a little.

Then Sally looked pleasantly at the mongoose and python, her ears pointed forward and her eyebrows perked as if waiting for their answer to her question. 

“Yes, it was really comfortable,” repeated Mina. “I love staying in that room!”

KG nodded. “Couldn't have been better.”

As they answered, Sally shimmied to settle down more comfortably, seemingly unaware of Snap's pained grunting. Although surely the princess herself, who had a reputation for paying attention to everything – seemingly all at the same time – knew perfectly well what was going on for Snap. Two furry hands grasped Sally's ass to avoid her moving too much.

Sally's solicitous look at the couple invited more talk from them, but there wasn't much more KG or Mina could say about their night, so between them they fell silent. 

“How are you finding your stay at the castle?” asked the princess, undeterred by their lack of inspiration for conversation. She looked as interested in what they had to say as if they'd just told her they'd taken a trip to the moon overnight. 

KG took a mouthful of porridge and left answering up to Mina, and the two females looked across the table at one-another. 

The mongoose's brow lowered as if she suspected something and that Sally would be the best person to shed some light on the situation. What are you up to? Her expression seemed to say, although the movement was playful.

Sally, in turn, narrowed her eyes. This was a playful move too, and seemed to say, I know what's going on. I pull all the strings. Why don't you tell me what you think is happening? It would amuse me so!

It lasted a few seconds, just enough that KG felt a need to break the tension, harmless though it was. “Aye, now that's a stand-off if ever I saw one,” he commented, gesturing with his spoon before dipping it back into his porridge.

Which broke things up a treat. Mina giggled reservedly to herself (she had never quite lost that sense of self-consciousness. Such a contrast with her larger-than-life stage persona.) while Sally rocked back and bellowed with laughter, a hearty sound and one that made her body wobble, including her hips, which drove her ass into Snap that little bit more.

Snap's muffled voice said something in obvious protest but Sally kept on laughing in a vaguely fake sing-song kind of way and immediately spoke again, talking over him completely. “A-ha-ha-ha-ha, so, what are your plans for the day? The weather's been warm enough for you to enjoy the pool-” Here she turned to KG, “-and since you don't like cold water, I hear that it's going to be warm today in the sun.” 

How often did KG see shy fangirls who couldn't meet his eyes? With Princess Sally however, he was the one who often ended up feeling bashful. Dipping his gaze and snout he grinned and said, “I'd no mind a wee bask. What do you think, Mina?” Watching his beloved swim was an unusual but delectable pleasure, so now that Sally had suggested it it sounded like an excellent way to enjoy a part of their day.

Mina batted her eyelashes. “But the water will be cool, especially in the morning. What if my nipples get pointy?”

“Come an’ join us in the sunshine,” he answered without missing a beat. 

The conversation rolled to a halt and the pair went silent. They got lost in each others' eyes for a moment, and this time, even the princess didn't intrude. 

The moment only passed when, after a diplomatic pause, Sally reached across the table for some toast, along with spread and preserve. KG reviewed the situation as Sally went about preparing her toast as desired, to the occasional, gentle ring and tap of her knife against her plate. Sally was clearly enjoying tormenting Snap, and as much as everybody present pretended that Snap was a victim, he loved it. The ferret and snake had talked it over far too much for KG to believe that Snap needed rescuing. No, as much as this was testing Snap, he was undoubtedly having the time of his life down there. Or if he wasn't enjoying it now, he'd relish the memory. 

Kind of like a spanking slave. They hated it while it was happening, but loved having been spanked. Nah, this was Sally and Snap's dream scenario, so KG would happily draw it out.

“What you think, babecakes?” he asked, picking his words so that everyone around the table – including Snap who could probably hear this too, knew he was playing along. He paused to take her hand in his. “I’m feelin’ like a long walk in the countryside. We can get some exercise an’ catch the early morning fresh air, and then we can go away intae town an’ see whit's happenin’ there.”

“I'd like that,” answered Mina. “What route do you think we should take? I'm thinking we start by following the river and go across the corn fields-”

The snake chuckled at her idea to draw this out by planning the walk in meticulous detail. He joined in. “Aye, the corn fields. But should we go round the edge or straight through?”

Mina hummed and hawed about that. “Ohh, hmm. Choices, choices. I guess the farmer wouldn't like us to go through but it's like going through a forest so I think that would be more fun-”

Snap's pained, muffled protest told her this was going on way too long. 

The couple laughed, and KG glanced at Sally to see her watching the pair indulgently as she ate her toast, like a mother watching her darlings at play.

At this point Nicole piped up again. “Princess, I would like to remind you of your royal engagement this afternoon: you are due to attend the arrival of Princess Blaze of the Sol Zone and her royal escort. I understand that it is only 8:13am but it is never too early to begin to prepare.”

Sally, who had been listening intently, nodded at this, a clipped motion all of its own. “You're right,” she said and stood up. 

Everyone looked at Snap, who appeared less like anything other than a squashed mosquito, his hair and clothes dishevelled and his limbs splayed. His chest moved up and down as he gasped for air that apparently had been denied him for a good few seconds. Almost of their own accord his hands moved down to his thighs and massaged the feeling back into them.

The princess barely seemed to notice, however. Instead she looked like she was thinking. “I'll need my royal escort.”

Snap's eyes, glazed over though they were, turned in Sally's direction. 

“I need you there for every royal event,” she spoke as if he had voiced some kind of protest. Although as ever, she managed to make voicing her needs less like a plea and more like a mandate. 

The ferret's jaw moved slightly, which Sally apparently took for agreement. She reached down and grabbed his arm, and walked back the way she had come. He stumbled after her.

As ever, she noticed and threw a half-second long glance over her shoulder at him. “I suppose I'll give you time to get the feeling back in your legs first,” KG heard her say tersely as they walked out of earshot.

He and Mina watched as Sally pulled the door open and dragged the ferret through. A moment later the door swung shut.

Mina whistled. KG looked at her to see she was shaking her head. “He's got to get into formal dress.”

“And walk around lookin’ like he's got a pole up his arse,” the python added.

The couple made eye contact, both thought the same thing, and erupted into a fit of complicit chuckling. If anything was funnier than watching Snap hobble around like a marathon runner who had hit The Wall, it was watching Snap dressed in a House of Acorn-issue blazer and sash, and trying to walk with both dignity and speed to keep up with Sally.

The End.