bitter hindsight 
•	Chapter 2 – The faithful night
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The night was drawing in, and I was sitting on my bed, pondering about things that been eating at me, wishing my brother to be home with us, and wish dad doesn’t had to work so hard.
But then papa came in, and checked up on me as he was dressed in his work clothes, as I knew it was time for him to go work. My ears droop down in sadness, but daddy told me to cheer up, and get some sleep tonight, cause he’s planning to take me out to see movies with him and bond with him more on our adventure for the weekend.
So I smiled big, and hop on the bed in joy! As I told him I can’t wait, and wonder if we can invite big brother along, as then daddy said yes. I was so stoked about the big day tomorrow.

Then daddy got up, and was ready to head out, as he told me to be good, and listen to mama. As he said good night to me, and left. 
I left my room and gone to be with mama and sister, as the last surprise of the night, they were taking me out to go eat and head out to the late laser show that was happening in town and tonight is the last night before they leave.
This made my night, and they were getting ready as they both went to the rooms to get dressed, as I’m already dressed and ready to go, but something hit me.
I couldn’t find my toy that big brother got me, so I went back to my room to try to find it, but it wasn’t anywhere in my room. So I tried to remember and then I think I left it in the backyard during the party after Big brother and I went back outside.

I don’t want to lose it since it was given to me by my brother, as it became a personal treasure to me. So I grab the flashlight and venture into the backyard to begin my search for my toy.

I started at the front of the gate to make sure I haven’t dropped it in the grass. As I progress into the yard, I still haven’t found it yet. I was so concern that I may had lost it for good.

Then I was looking around near the fence for my toy. I couldn’t find it till I shine my flashlight in the area where a almost exposed under the fence was.

There it was, my toy. As I smiled with glee, I got on my knees to reach for my treasure, but at the moment I grab it, the next second turned into a gruesome event that I about to face through that I never experience before.

An huge, ferocious dog just nab my arm, trying to pull me in but I did so much to get myself loose, but that second, I felt that I was being drag as the dog pulling me under the fence, as I shout out, in fear of what happens next.

As I was stranded in the center of the big dog, and two more, hearing their growling as the big one has my blood oozing out of it’s mouth that took some from my arm that it grabbed. 

As I’m in a terrible situation, I’ve tried to find a way out and back to my yard, but I slowly back to the corner to where I can try to climb out before the dogs can make their next move, rottweilers are a dangerous breed with their fangs showing, I try to keep composure to get out without alerting the dogs of my attempt to escape.

“Mama…. Daddy…. Keino… Mari… Please… help me..” as I whimper and whisper to myself, my heart beats as fast as it could, as I think that.. I could die if I mess up to climb out before they noticed.
So I was about to put my foot into the fence wires, and then try to climb up, as I’m about to reach the top, the big mal dog jump at me and grab the bottom of my shirt. 
I tried to fight the weight that the dog was pulling me with, but in that mere second, the second dog did the same and I slipped down to the ground. The fall hurt my stomach, but in the next second won’t compare to the pain and horror I’ll be put to endure.

The dogs surrounded me, and started to bite on me baddly, the main male dog was on my head, trying to rip the skin and fur off my head, as the second male was on my back, while the female dog was at my legs. 
I tried to fight em off, but I was weak… And helpless while I feel tremendous pain throughout my body, I try to scream, try to cry loud. But no one couldn’t hear me. At that moment, I knew my life will end as soon as the dogs will kill me.

But I heard my mom shouting from the car in the driveway, and I try to scream out to mama, but the big dog was attack my face, as if it was trying to shut me up so it can finish me off, and devour me if possible.

I started to going into shock, as if the pain had vanished, I closed my eyes to try to go out in peace without witnessing my own demise that it about to happen, but then… My sister was in the yard, and she screamed really loud that I could ever produce, she was frozen while screaming out to mama, seeing what damage the dogs were inflicting on me.

At that time, mommy ran into the yard, and without a mere second to waste, she grab the bat that was left on the ground from the party, and ran to the fence.

She hop over quickly as there nothing to stop her in her path. As she slam the big dog off me, and smash it’s body with the bat real hard, as she turn to the last two dogs and bat em off me.
With no time to lose, she grab me and try to get me out of the bad yard, as she hand me to my sister to get me away from edge of the fence so the dogs wouldn’t try to reclaim me again to finish me off. Telling my sister to call the hospital quickly as she laid me down in the safe area.

The big dog was mad, as it to attack my mother, but she kicked it real hard in the face as it yelps, and back away. Mama was able to get out before the other two dogs tried to snatch her as they did to me.

As the while for the ambulace to arrive, I was still in shock. I wasn’t awake, as if I was asleep to drown out the pain lingering all over my body. All I can remember that I was alone in the dark, and somehow I was butt naked.
It could had been cause the dogs ripped my clothes off while they trying to bite me and worse. So I walk around, as the spotlight I was in was following me, or I’m not going anywhere. Till I reach a road, and there were some lights, like you see when you go to a park at night.

I begin to walk down the path, as I look to my left and what I saw was very strange, but somehow gracefully.. I seen myself, with my dad, my brother, and my sister. 

We were having fun at the carnival during the good snowy night. Playing the games, and my brother was beating me, and Mari at the ring in the bottle game. I tend to get very jealous at how good my big brother gets at many games. But in the next part of this flashback, we were in the spinning top ride, when you’re stuck against the walls as the machine spins very, very, very fast.

Funny thing is, that Keino had so much popcorn that he vomit. The bile landed on on the other riders, and a small spat landed on Mari’s shirt. I started to laugh at them and the other riders since I was the only one that the bile missed.

The flashback ended, and another one had lit up on the right, down toward the path, as if that I’m looking through my life. I trying to figure out where am I. 
As the while the ambulance arrived, and got me into the vehicle, as then my mom got in with me, while my sister remain behind to wait for daddy to get her and get to the hospital they’re taking me to.

I could hear my mom cry, and praying hard for me to survive this through and through, Even she was frantic and crying. She was tough knowing that all I can do is get through and fight to live.
Back to where I am, I begin to walk down the path to the next window of my flashback, and this time was that I was school, and my big brother was picking me up. But the mean bullies were following me outside, they were third graders, and they kept calling me names, and throwing little paper balls at me.
But big brother confronted them, and boy, he was pissed. He clutches his fists, as if he was ready to smash their faces in, in the mere second, they turn tail and ran as he shout out to them that if they come around and pick on me again, he was going to hang them from the flagpole by their underwears next time.

Keino pat on my head and told me if I wanted ice cream and I smile to him at the same nodding like a happy little kid. He laughs about it and begin to walk me to the ice cream store. 

My brother is 8 years older than I am, and 3 years older than my sister, but in the young age he is, he knows how to look after himself and us. I often feel that sometimes I could be a burden to him.. and to my family.
The window of the flashback dim to off, as the next one down the path lit up on the left side again. I don’t know if this path is just a gallery of my life that lead up to this moment or what.
I’m just a scared little pup, and I don’t know what will happen when I reach… the end of this path… Am I going to die… Or be lost in this world will the rest of life moves on? It’s only up to fate to see if I’ll wake up.. or not.

I just can’t stop now.. or else I may never go home.. So I continue to walk the path, seeing another flashback, meanwhile my body was moved to the E.R, the place where you can either make it.. or fail.

My mother sit down in the waiting room, crying her soul out. She held her hands together and raise em up in the air, saying and pleading to the maker that to please watch over me. Within the same moment, my daddy and sister arrived.

Had trouble getting inside with the new reporters outside trying to get a story about my incident with the dogs. Dad ask mama what happened, and she explained everything to him.
As the time passing, my dad was frantic as well. He said a thing that was bad even though he just saying it out of anger and sadness.
“If… if my son don’t make it, I will curse your name, maker for all my lifetime as I breath.”

My mother tried to stop him on he saying, till the doctor came out of the E.R. and approached my parents, and sister.

Giving em the news that it’s a fifty-fifty chance that I’ll survive, but the damage to my veins, and back was very severely damaged when the dogs were tearing at me.
And then, my mother fainted, as my dad catch her and hold her up. The doctor had my mother rest on the seating bead, as he show my father to my room. As soon he enter the room, he saw the worse thing that shouldn’t happen to a small child.
My body was wrapped in bandages and caseings, but you can see my paws, and my face as I’n still knocked out, with some blood oozing from my nose that was almost tore apart, and my left under of my eye was in bad shape.

He fell to his knees, by the side of my bed as he looking at me, holding back his cries and tears, trying to be strong for me. He pleaded to whatever he wishes to have faith in, to keep me alive, to never let me go.

I could hear him in the weird world I’m in, as I’m nearing the end of my path, and see the last window of the flashback litting up, as I walk closer to it.
What I see, it was me, and my father. He was holding me to him in bed, as we bonded that night, and he whisper to me, that I’ll be a great son, and great man that he ever brought into this world.

Remembering it, made me wanna keep on fighting. To not give up. But as soon the flashback ended, the path lighted up an stranger stairs, leading up to the stars… like it’s leading to heaven or something. But what should I do. I wanna stay alive. I want to stay with my family.
Something tell me that it won’t be easy, since now a strange brown wolf just appeared out of the fog that surrounds this place, it started to approach me, and I thought it may attack me since my last encounter with four legged canines put me into this trouble in the first place.

As the big wolf reach me, I brace myself to see what going to happen next, and then… it spoke to me, by calling my name. I was puzzled to what the heck is happening here.
“Joey.. I know you’re scared.. But you don’t have nothing to fear..” 
The wolf spoke to me, as I find a soothing feeling, like it was watching me and guarding me throughout my life. A familiar feeling. I fell to my knee, as I started to cry. For no reason and I don’t even know why too.

“I….I just wanna go home… Back to Mama, Daddy… everyone else! I just…”
The wolf stopped me, and told me that I may not be able to wake up, if I waste more time in trying to stay in the same spot, I could be lost in limbo or something.
“I know little one.. But your… your little body is badly wounded. You go back, and there’s a chance you’ll won’t make it for a mere moment… please don’t suffer anymore. Just… pick. Pick the path in your heart, and lead it. But you must hurry.”

The place was started to shake, as I heard horrible laughter in the shadows, as time is almost up. The wolf picked me up and ran toward the stairs to get me away, as we about the reach the door… the stairs collapses, and we both fell down fast, as we can see the claws reaching out for us, but in that last moment, the wolf turn into a light and engulf me into the light, saying something that I knew that I messed up terribly.

“Im sorry little one… I couldn’t get you to the heavens or back home… But this is what I can do for you now.. take care..”
The final words were said, and the whole place was light up. And all I can remember now, that I woke up, hearing something. That it was my mother, and my father. 
But the next part didn’t prepare me for this… that I open my eyes fully, and what I witness… is that I can see my body on the bed… and I turned to the left, seeing my parents… crying… as I knew that.. I died… The flatline sound was the obvious thing to know.

At that moment… I was a spirit, and all I can do.. is stand there and witness the sadness that forever my family will endure… but when things couldn’t get much worse, it will. And I won’t be able to stop it...

----To Be Continued

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