Stranger in My Skin

Chapter 1
	Leo smiled to himself as he walked down the hall toward his bedroom. His plan was working. His job was nearly complete and he could finally leave this hell hole that his so-called “brothers” called home. He stopped; his hand midway to the door when an annoying voice of his younger brother interrupted him.
	“Leo? Aren’t you going to join us for movie night?” Leo just barely managed to contain his scowl at the begging he could detect in Mikey’s voice. He took a deep breath and forced a smile upon his face. Turning to look at the small freckled turtle. He had to admit, truthfully he was surprised they actually called this turtle a ninja. In fact, that’s how he thought of them all. Mikey was too short and bouncy. Incapable of actually concentrating on the fight. If it weren’t for the other two, he was sure he would have died a long time ago. Donnie was way too tall and leggy. Making him very awkward. Judging by the gap in between his teeth. As for Raph, he actually might be more impressed with his skill than the others. Nonetheless, he still found Raph’s physique way too bulky. How did the turtle expect himself to be quick and light on his feet when he had all that heavy muscle weighing him down?
	That’s not saying he didn’t have a problem with his own figure. The shell was hard and inflexible. Making it a challenge to kick above the waist line. Not to mention, bending down. Though he won’t totally berate the shell. It provided a wonderful protection. He didn’t have enough fingers to count the many times this shell had saved his life. Literally, he only had six fingers in total.
	“I’m sorry Mikey, but I’m tired. I’m thinking about going to bed early tonight.” He said with as much of an innocent expression as he could accomplish. The small simple action making his jaw sore. He hated this constant smiling routine he put himself through just to maintain his cover. Keeping anyone from thinking something was wrong.
	Leo eyed the youngest at the hesitation Mikey offered him before a large cheerful smile replaced the doubtful look. “Okay bro. You had a rough day. Take it easy. Perhaps tomorrow?” It mentally hurt Leo as he made that promise he would join his brothers tomorrow night, but he was glad when his lie went straight over Mikey’s head. He turned back and proceeded to open the door to his room. Stepping into his private quarters and closing the door behind him. He let out a slow steady sigh of relief now that he was away from the headache that was his family.

	Mikey’s smile fell the instant Leo’s door was closed. He felt his stomach do flip flops as he reviewed their latest conversation. He spun around and made his way back to the living room.
	“There is something seriously wrong.” He mumbled, loud enough so his two brothers could hear him but soft enough he wouldn’t attract any nearby eavesdroppers. A.K.A Leo.
	Don turned away from his computer to look over the chair he sat on. His chocolate brown eyes fixated on Mikey. He frowned. 
	“Let me guess. No Leo?” There had been no Leo for the past couple of days. So he wasn’t too surprise to see Mikey’s side empty. He was disappointed though.
	“Of course not.” Mikey clenched his fists at his sides. Staring down at his feet.
	Raph was the next to look over at Mikey when he overheard the conversation topic switch to Leo. True enough that Leo had joined them on game night and the time when they decided to hang outside on their day off. But the thing Raph had noticed was that Leo hadn’t seemed the least bit . . . himself during those times. He didn’t question their decision to go up top during the day. Yeah, it was late, but even if it was one o’clock in the morning, Leo would still be cautious. He didn’t seem at all concerned about their surroundings when they started goofing off and even challenged them all to a game they haven’t played since their childhood years. He didn’t think much about it. In fact, he was glad that Leo had loosened up. It was when Mikey and Donnie ended up crashing into each other in a painful looking collision. Mikey ended up spraining his wrist and Donnie ended up with a nasty looking bruise on his right thigh. Leo had asked if they were okay, but Raph did not miss the look of irritation and impatience that flashed in those sapphire blue eyes. Even if it was only a few seconds worth. His Leo he knew wouldn’t have taken a moment of hesitation to rush over and help the two. Fussing over their injury’s. Then lecturing them over their clumsiness and lack of their guard once he was reassured they were okay. Like a mother.
	Ever since then, he had been paying close attention to his fearless leader. Soon finding other hints of something being wrong with him. Things that were not Leo like. They were very subtle but he spotted them and each time had brought up his suspicion a little more.
	“He seemed normal when we finally returned home after dimension hopping. Then all of a sudden it seemed like he changed. Do you think something happened on one of those planets that is bothering him?”
	“Why would you think that? That was two years ago bro.” Mikey asked.
	“It was also the most traumatic experience of our lives.” 
Raph tried to figure out what could have happened during their many battles that could be disturbing Leo in some sort of way. They had fought so many wars he couldn’t count how many. Even times when one or all of them had brushed close to death. But it wasn’t something new or unusual. Hell, they fought the Shredder so many times that it should be expectant by now. They had all made it out alive and together and returned home to where they belonged. Nothing too terrible (at least not for them.) that should have altered Leo’s behavior. It had been two years since they had returned from space travel. Defeat Shredder and brought peace upon the globe. Their lives have never been so dull. Why now?
	Both Donnie’s and Mikey’s eyes flittered over to Raph who had the same thoughtful look on his face.
	“What?” He blinked at them.
	“You’re the only one who is with Leo most of the time. Do you remember if at any point that something happened to Leo? Did he do something? Say something? Maybe spoke something in his sleep that could indicate a negative reaction to him?” Raph frowned as he tried to think. Searching through his latest memories and shaking his head when he came up empty.
	“No. Nothing out of the ordinary.” 
	Donnie frowned as he contemplated the possibilities. When Leo was alone he tended to overthink certain things when reviewing their techniques. Which was all fine and dandy when you’re only doing it to improve yourself. But Leo tends to go over board and punishes himself for things he assumes he did wrong. As if he could always be perfect. They had come close to death a few times, but it wasn’t something they could have prevented. They were forced into battle against their will for either being aliens. Or that they just rubbed an empire the wrong way. As far as he could tell, there was nothing else they could have done to prevent their fates. They were a mutant family who had been repeatedly sent to different dimensions across the universe just trying to find their way home. What could Leo have possibly thought up that had made him so distant? It didn’t go unnoticed that Leo seemed to force himself to be nice to his brothers when he did something he didn’t feel like doing. That was a real shocker on that part to. He was always a kind considerate turtle when it came to his family. He would do everything in his power to keep his family safe and happy. Even when that seemed impossible. He was amazing that way.
	Which gave Donnie the reason why he wanted to figure this out and try to help Leo out of his funk (If that’s what you want to call it.) and get him back to the way he was.
	Raph could see the worry etched into his two younger brother’s faces and he couldn’t blame them. He had been as worried as they were about Leo. In fact, ever since the Triceratons, he had always been concerned about Leo’s well-being.
	“I’ll take care of him.” He announced. Standing up. The other two snapped their attention to him.
	“What are you going to do?” Mikey stared curiously. Hope shining in those sky blue eyes.
	“Talk to him.” 
	He was half expected Mikey to start laughing at him. Since everyone in their family knew how horrible he was with words. He’d rather use actions. But this didn’t seem like a situation actions was going to help with. Something was up with Leo and he was going to find out what it was. One way or another. Much to his surprise though, Mikey remained silent. He could even see the hope increasing.
	“You do realize he isn’t your boyfriend, right?” Donnie interrupted.
	Raph glared at him. His hands curling into fists. “Maybe not. But he is still my brother and I care about him.”
	Don’s eyes softened and he gave a nod towards him. Raph released his breath and turned away. Heading for Leo’s room. Or what he liked to think of as their room. Just because they had spent so much time together in there it almost felt like it belonged to him now as well. He could be taking a shower or going to bed late at night and he would mindlessly wander to Leo’s room out of habit and by the time he realized where he actually was. He was lying on Leo’s bed, wrapped up in Leo’s arms. By that time, he had decided he would rather be there than in his own room and Leo didn’t seem to mind it as well.
	He felt himself frown as he thought of Donnie’s last words to him.
	“You do realize he isn’t your boyfriend, right?”
	Of course he knew that!
Their relationship was a complicated one. At first it started out as just sex. They had fun messing around. Enjoying each other’s bodies. Touching and feeling however their mind pleases them. Experimenting on each other however far their imagination takes them. The only rule they had was to never inflict harm to each other and never to force anyone to do anything they didn’t feel comfortable with doing. And no bringing feelings into bed. So far they hadn’t encountered such situations. Raph smirked mentally at how kinky some of their times had gotten. They trusted each other too well to actually be uncomfortable with their fantasies. Nervous yes. It was okay to be nervous. Freak out? Panics? Complete and utter refusal though they have not yet encountered. They were open with each other.
	Then, somehow, in the middle of it all they had been less playful and more intimate. Whispering meaningful words. Spending the rest of their nights cuddling instead of leaving right after. They went from sex toys to best friends, to close brothers, to inseparable partners. He couldn’t even remember when their last fight had taken place.
	They both knew that this wasn’t serious; this thing between them. It was just a causal relationship. A fun comfortable one. Friends with benefits. A distraction and comfort when they were stressed and wanted to forget their reality. However, they did like each other. A lot. They were fond of each other in both mind and body and enjoyed their presence. But they weren’t in love. They didn’t love each other and Raph would have growled at the thought of being head over heels in love with Leo.
	Though now . . . He wasn’t saying now he was in love with him, but he cared much more about Leo than he ever did since they came back home. He had almost lost him on several occasions during their battles. Each and every time scaring the living day lights out of him as he thought of his life without Leo in it. Never getting to see that gorgeous sexy body. Pressing up against him. Never seeing those breathtaking eyes and beautiful laughter to listen to. He couldn’t handle the thought even now.
 Which was what spurred the idea about asking Leo if he would like to indulge more into their relationship. He didn’t want them to be those sappy couples that spend all day throwing goo goo eyes at each other. Gross. He wanted to take things slow and easy. Explore in their feelings and maybe find something more deeply than they had now. They already did whisper soft comforting things to each other. What is a few more intimate things?
	At least right after they resolved this conflict anyway.
	Raph stared at Leo’s door he suddenly found himself standing in front of. His lips pressed together in a tight line. He raised his fist to knock when he froze in place before his knuckles could reach the door . . . Leo was talking. Who was he talking to? Judging by the lack of responses in this one-sided conversation, Leo was on the phone. 
	He glimpsed over at the two turtles in the living room. Their eyes glued to the television screen. Neither holding t-phones. He could scratch Master Splinter off the list. He remembered he was in his room meditating and he never could figure out how to use the phone anyway. If he wanted to talk he would have come down to do so. Perhaps Casey or April?
	He knew better than to eavesdrop and Splinter would have his hind if he caught him in such a disrespectful act but he couldn’t help himself. Curiosity getting the better of him, he leaned in, pressing the side of his head against the wooden door.
	“Yes . . . Yes . . . I know.”
	Raph frowned. Did Leo’s voice lower an octave or was it just him?
	“Look, I’m doing as you asked of me. It’s taking a bit longer than expected but other than a few delays, everything is on track . . .Yes, I understand.” Leo sighed. “ . . . I know you will.”
	Raph’s eye ridges knitted together. Attempting to piece together the other half of the conversation.
	“I’m doing the best I can!” Leo snapped. A desperate tone. “. . . Okay. I will update you in a few days.” Without even so much as a goodbye, Leo hung up with a click. Followed by a heavy tired sigh and the soft squeak of the bed. Raph gulped thickly as his mind tossed inappropriate images of the other activity’s that made the bed squeak like that. A pain roused between his legs. With a mental groan he shoved the thoughts to the back of his mind. No time for that. Yet. 
	He rubbed the tension from the space between his eyes. Knocking on the door finally. Another squeak. Raph grounded his teeth. By the count of four, the door opened. Leo’s face came into view. Such a handsome face.
	Concentrate!
	“Hey Leo.” He greeted in a pitiful casual attempt.
	Leo stared at Raph blankly. At least he didn’t look like he hated his presence, but he didn’t look like he welcomed it either.
	“Yeah Raph?” Leo asked with a gravelly voice. He sounded so tired. So unhappy. He frowned.
	“Are you okay? Ya don’t look too good.”
	The mint turtle sighed, propping his temple against the doorframe. Dark circles took territory under his lids. His eyes a little bloodshot. “Just tired is all. Day wore me out.” 
	“Not nearly as much as you usually liked to do.”
	“I just didn’t get the sleep I needed last night. I’m sorry.” Gradually a sincere smile pulled at the corner of his lips. Relief skittered across Raph’s spine.
	“You should go to bed early then. Don’t want you missing training. Be disappointing not having my usual sparring partner.” Really disappointing. 
	Leo gave a crooked smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
	Ask about the call! “So . . . who was that on the phone with you?” Raph couldn’t resist rubbing the back of his neck. Nervous habit. Damn. He forced his arm back down. He took note as Leo stiffened as soon as the words left his mouth.
	“What do you mean?” Leo crossed his arms over his plastron. A defensive position? His voice changed again. Nervousness?
	“Well, I heard you talking and since no one was replying I assumed you were on the phone. Am I wrong?”
	Leo chewed on his bottom lip. Another nervous habit. Not his own at least. “No you’re not. I uhm . . . was just talking to April. She needed help with something in her apartment. Some . . . pluming issue. No biggy.” 
	Psshh. Yeah right! Did he seriously take him for a fool? “If it’s something mechanical then why didn’t she call Donnie? No offense Leo, but you don’t know the difference between a screw and a bolt.” 
	Leo flashed him a glare and he thought for a second that he was going to explode. Quickly it was smothered by another cheap smile. “None taken.” 
	Raph raised an eye ridge. That was one of the worst lies Leo could have told. Granted, Fearless wasn’t that good at lying in the first place. Could never seem to overcome those nervous gestures that gave him away. One thing he wasn’t good at. Still, it hurt to think that Leo was lying to him. 
	Oh sure, they lied bucket loads of times before. Like Leo’s fling with Karai. Boy, that was a good lie. It took all of his willpower to keep from killing Shredder’s spawn, that hey! Turned out to be their sister and not the spawn of Shredder. Damn it. Lucky for him, after she helped them destroy Shredder, she took the foot soldiers as her own and fled to Japan for training. Apparently she’s planned on morphing them into a bunch of do-gooders. Or not to mention his own lie where he decided to take up vigilanting and refused to mutter a single thing to Leo about the Nightwatcher. All of which happened during a “break” in their relationship since Leo decided Splinter’s extra training in South America was in order. But those tiny mistakes happened like . . . a millennium ago. 
	Ever since they hooked up again they agreed getting the air cleared between them was necessary to making their company more pleasant and comfortable. They wouldn’t have to worry about mistrust. Raph had agreed and they shook hands as if they were closing off a business meeting. He was surprised they didn’t just decide to sign contracts. If so Leo would have broken it. Stupid Karai. 
	They had though. They had spilled everything to each other. Any thoughts, secrets, desires, dreams. Anything they wouldn’t have told the rest of their family they released to each other. They couldn’t help it. It had started off small but as the tension grew lighter in the room, their resistance had crumbled and even unnecessary stuff spilled from them like a popped water balloon. Afterwards, they had enjoyed one of the best nights he could remember; and they had a lot of good nights. Other than that, they literally did not lie about anything. They were the first person to go to when something was bothering them. Until Karai. A millennium ago. Remember?
	Right. So why now after five years would Leo lie about something? And why would he lie so blatantly? Literally, he looked determined to fool him! Was there anything else he was keeping from him? He shoved down the urge to throttle the truth out of Leo. Cooling down the anger that threatened to bubble over. They also agreed to trust each other no matter what. So trust he shall. For now, at least.

	Leo’s eyes narrowed on Raphael. Recognizing that look. That was the look of someone getting a bit too close to dangerous territory. He knew for a fact that Raph was physically stronger than him so subduing him would be unwise. Most likely he would end up pinned to the floor, exposed and vulnerable for Raph’s mischief. He couldn’t allow for any more questions. He was sounding like an idiot the more excuses he made up. He needed to distract him.
	Raph’s mouth opened. Another question waiting on his lips. Thinking quickly, Leo grabbed ahold of Raph’s shoulder and yanked him over into his personal space. Their lips crashing together for a deep, probing kiss. Leo waited, his patience waning on the brink of crazy for Raph to recover from his shock. Relief soothed Leo’s beating heart as Raph submitted to his demanding request. Kissing back with as much fervor. 
	Those thick, muscled arms wrapping around his waist and pressing him up against his plastron. Their curves fitting together like a puzzle piece. He wouldn’t lie, he didn’t mind moments like these as he should. It had been awhile since he had done something like this and he missed these passionate feelings. If only Raphael was a better kisser.
	Not wanting to hurt Raph’s feelings, he had kept it to himself how terrible of a kisser Raph really was.
	He was pretty sure it was only him Raph had ever kissed before. Which would explain the lack of knowledge how to. Nonetheless, he pushed down his bitterness. Giving back whatever Raph gave. Determined to make him mindless by the end of this, his slid up the length of Raph’s body. Tangling his fingers in the tails of his mask. Twisting his tongue around with remembered skill that had this turtle shivering in his arms. He couldn’t help but smirk against their lips. Pride swelling inside him. Burning away every last inch of Raph’s control as quickly as fire lit on gasoline dipped paper.
	Leo forced their lips to part with a wet pop. Panting heavily from the excursion. He felt Raph’s palms wandering up and down his arms. His sides. His hips. Further down to cup his ass. Leo yelped as he fell against Raph’s chest in a failed attempt to wiggle out of his hold. He could feel Raph’s kisses travel from his lips, to his cheeks, and down to his jawline. Entertaining the movement, he bent his head farther to the side. Hoping to keep his attention focused on his neck and not where his hands were roaming.
	“Damn Leo, you take a kissing class or something?” The comment, he guessed, was meant to be flippant but it came off sexual and needy as Raph’s voice lowered. Dripping with white hot desire and lust. He shivered.
	Leo yelped again as he felt his feet leave the ground. Folding his arms and legs around Raph’s body. Dependent upon him to not drop him. He found his mouth occupied with Raph’s and he allowed it, just because he had no other choice in the matter. 
	Raphael carried him over to the bed. The hands under Leo’s rear suddenly disappearing. Gravity shoving him down onto the bed. He bounced a couple of time before Raph’s weight pinned him on the mattress and engulfed in another clumsy, wet kiss. Muffling any of his protests. Both his wrists were trapped above his head by one large hand. No amount of tugging could disable the hold and he might have admired the strength if his attention currently wasn’t snagged by the hand that journeyed over the skin of his thigh. Regret burned a hole in his chest as that said hand continued up, up towards his neither regions. 
	“Stop!” Leo shouted. Discontinuing Raph from going any further. He sighed in relief as Raph’s hand jerked away as if he was a hot oven. The hand that bound his wrists faltered just enough that Leo could wrench them out. He pushed himself upwards to a sit. Wiping away the sweat that dripped from his forehead. Catching his breath. 
	Raph sat there, bewildered. Hurt filling those emerald eyes of his. Leo knew he was going to have to apologize. It was unusual for him to want to resist.
	“I’m sorry Raph, but I’m really tired. I can’t do this with you right now. I’d be useless to you and we’d both end up not enjoying ourselves.” He spoke as sincerely as he could manage.
	
	Raphael frowned deeply. His cock painfully pressing against his plastron and oh how hard it was to pull himself away. In fact, even now he wanted Leo, despite. It took more strength than he had to restrain himself from tackling the turtle. 
	This was not the first time he had been rejected by Leo. Man, how it hurt like a bitch! Yes, he already was aware that Leo was sleep deprived and shouldn’t blame him for wanting to go to bed now. But he started it! It was such a dick move to pull an act like that and then toss him away like a dirty unused rag before they could even get into it. There was only so much waiting a man could take!
	Nonetheless, he wasn’t going to say anything about it. He wasn’t selfish despite how achy his body was for Leo. So as he did like every other time; he nodded his head to Leo. 
	Did he do something perhaps? If he did, what did he do? Could he apologize for it?
	“You know what Raph? You should go to bed to. I will be there soon, I just want to meditate for an hour. Alright?”
	“Yeah . . .” Like he could. 
	A small smile pulled at the corners of his lips as Leo placed a kiss on his nose. He sighed as he felt the mattress move beneath him when Leo got up. Leaving him there alone with a boner. Bastard. He growled, ignoring his body’s pleas, he collapsed onto his side. Pulling the sheet up to his chin and glaring at the wall.