Minutes upon minutes go by as I shake and bawl into Blackjack's thigh. I'm a complete mess with no energy to fight anymore - completely bare and vulnerable on his lap. There's nothing I can do to protect myself, and my batteries are so drained that running isn't an option either. So, I can't help but let myself drape over him, only able to process the pain in my butt and the anguish in my head. I can't stop my brain from hurling insults at me - reminding me how stupid and worthless I am.
My senses slowly return to me, and I can't help but feel guilty at how little trust I've shown the man whose lap I'm now laying across. I become aware of a soft, comfortable sweeping motion through my fur, and I realize that Blackjack is brushing me with the same brush he used to light up my butt a few minutes ago. I stare into my pillow, tears still gushing from my eyes and soaking further into it. With my energy spent, I can't sob anymore and am reduced to sniffling and whining. Between cries, I hack out the words, "I'm so stupid… so- childish… I'm- I'm useless…"
"That's not true-" Blackjack whispers, begging me to believe him. He continues to brush me, gently pulling knots out of my back and tail fur. The subdued strokes through my fur are a stark contrast to the burning still in my butt, and I just let myself feel everything as I cry sorrowfully into the pillow.
"I- I'm sorry I've been such an ass…" I blubber.
I feel Blackjack lean down and kiss me on the back of my head. He whispers, "I forgive you."
"It's not okay- for me to like you…" I say, trying to put my thoughts together, "Everyone I like ends up dead…"
"I'm safe, Rocky. You're safe." He assures, his paws running along my back.
I bend myself to look him in the eyes and crack, "I'm dangerous, Jack."
My eyes continue to burst with tears. I go to return to my prone position across his lap, but he pulls me up into a hug. I let him hug me, and he quickly pulls me closer so that he's cradling me. One of his arms goes under my thighs, and his hand holds my butt, making me wince. His other arm wraps around my shoulders, and he holds me tenderly in his lap. My forehead rubs into his neck and under his chin, and my face lightly presses into his chest. I don't have the energy to do anything back, so I give in to his coddling and let him rock me back and forth.
Quickly after getting me into this position, he whispers down into my ear, "Rocky, you're a hero. You're my hero…"
It feels good as he says that, like a small warmth rising in my stomach that I don't have the energy to fight down. I don't have any words right now, but I feel a smile briefly cross my face before I return to whining and sniffling. I take a deep breath, and it exits my lungs quickly and shakily. I whimper pathetically into Blackjack's chest.
I like him. I actually feel it now. I'm not just horny. I really like him. And it crushes me.
"I'm bad for you…" I whisper.
He tightens his grip on me and responds firmly, "I love you."
It hits me like a ten thousand ton freighter. I find a speck of energy I didn't know I had and look at him in disbelief.
"Why!?" I exclaim, "I'm just some dumb thief who can't even keep his pants clean!"
"You just saved the whole universe." He says as if it's obvious, "How could I not love you?"
My body throws every last ounce of my objections and apprehensions into one final retort, "And yet my life still sucks! I can't do anything without shitting myself at this point! How can I protect you!?"
Blackjack moves me back just enough to put his nose right to mine. Looking me intensely in the eyes, his voice unwavering, he responds, "You deserve to be protected! You deserve to feel safe! I know it's not giant tentacle monsters that are threatening you right now, but I can still help with this!"
An earthquake cracks through my brain and into my body. No one's ever protected me. That's my job. And I can't protect me right now. But he can. A second tremor runs down my spine, and I push myself into Blackjack's chest. My eyes summon more and more tears - tears that I've been pushing down for my entire life. Blackjack holds me tight, and I weep with temult as my defenses finally lift.
I yelp, "Okay… okay…" My voice is horse and shrill, and I can't gather enough energy to say anything more.
Blackjack caresses and rubs me all over, massaging and comforting me as I cry in his secure embrace. A safety I've hardly ever felt before washes over me. I feel small, but not bad.
Blackjack coos in my ear, "I love you, I love you. I promise I'll make this all okay." He pats my back and continues, "Can we get you in some protection now? We don't want you having any more accidents."
I nod my head sheepishly, accepting whatever his plans might be and trying to trust him. He hugs me super tight for a second, and then he deposits me on my back on the bed. I can still feel tears in my eyes, and my vision is a little blurry. He moves out from behind me, now standing over me in just his briefs as I lay naked and exposed before him. I blush, feeling the dried pee on my crotch and thighs. He leans forward over me, lacing our fingers together, and he plants a big kiss on my forehead.
"Don't worry," he whispers, "you're just my widdle baby Wocky Waccoon." He pulls away, leaving me mesmerized on the bed, and says, "Now, let's get you all cleaned and ready."
He rushes to his closet, pulls out a bag, and hops back excitedly. From the bag, he reveals a pack of baby wipes, a tube of some sort of cream, and a bottle of powder. He lays everything on the bed next to me and pulls one of the poofy diapers over. He fluffs out the diaper and drops it back on the bed.
Next, he moves to me, popping a wipe out. He works fast, at least compared to how slow I'm feeling. The wipe glides over my stomach and belly button, then down my thighs. Another wipe, and I feel its chilly wetness against my balls and sheath. I close my eyes, feeling blushy, and I try not to squirm at him rubbing down my sensitive regions for the second time today. He lifts my legs a little and finishes his wiping across my butt and up my crack. I wriggle a little, my butt still feeling tender.
He puts my legs down, and I hear him grab another wipe. I open my eyes to see him leaning in toward my face. He gingerly wipes my cheeks and under my eyes, wringing out some of the tears and crustiness that's formed from my crying. He then signals for me to blow my nose, and I blow into the wipe half-heartedly. Some boogers come out, though, and my head feels a little better.
Blackjack tosses all the wipes in a little trash bin next to his desk, then returns to me. He gives me a big smile and grabs my feet. He massages my toes lightly, and I chuckle a little in spite of my own embarrassment. He asks, "Feeling clean, sweetie?"
I exhale, stifling a giggle, and murmur, "Sort'a."
"Only 'sort of'?" He asks back rhetorically. I don't know exactly what he means, but I'm swiftly made aware as he places his hands on my hips and bows his head over my crotch and stomach.
My bits, having just been cooled by the wipes, now feel warm with his breath. My dick rouses and pushes against my cage.
"You mind if I- have a second go?" Blackjack asks, his voice growing heavy with the sudden tension he's brought into the moment.
I barely manage to squeak, "Go ahead." And he pulls me a centimeter or so in at my hips and kisses me just above my sheath. Quickly, his soft tongue brushes through my already clean tummy fur. I fight the giggles he produces in me for a moment, but I give in and start chuckling and huffing at this new, ticklish sensation.
The second he finishes with my tummy, he hastily moves down to my sheath and balls. He gives one sensational lick all the way up from the back of my balls to the tip of my metal-domed sheath, and then lathers my balls with licks and kisses. I wriggle under him, feeling almost bewildered. It tingles and tickles, but it feels astonishingly good. He continues to give my balls and my now straining dick a very thorough tongue bath for what must be a full minute to the point where there can't be a speck of dirt or grime left on my front.
He pulls back for a second and wipes a little drool off his bottom lip. I almost think he's done, but he promptly moves his hands under my thighs and hoists me like before. Without being able to see, I feel his tongue slick from the base of my tail all the way up my crack. He crosses my butthole unceremoniously the first time, brushing it by and giving a quick pass across the whole middle of my ass. Then, he briefly and tenderly nuzzles and licks my buttcheeks. It actually feels good to have some positive attention to my backside all of the sudden, but I still feel my face grow crimson.
I jump at the sudden feeling of his tongue against my asshole. It's warm and almost silky. I gasp at the foreign feeling, but it's too good to even think of stopping him. His tongue circles around a few times and then sweeps up and down on my hole. Then, his tongue presses firmly against it. I whine a little, feeling the pressure against my hole. And finally, my muscles give way, and his tongue pushes in just a peck. My dicklet rages and pushes to no avail, and I helplessly let out a moan of pleasure.