Turingdome Season 2: Episode 2 - Robot Violence Therapy Session  

Welcome, folks to the second episode of Turingdome, season 2!  I'm your humble host and mad scientist extraordinaire, Frynge.  To recap, Adam 1.2.6 faced MOTBOT, a former child cartoon star / martian 4channer.  

Due to the venue having been moved, since episode 1 of the new season, a new vote was cast, with Adam 1.2.6 being deemed as the ultimate victor.  That being said, let's go meet with tonight's combatants!

-Frynge returns to the garage full of tools, shown in the previous episode, except now it looks quite a bit nicer.  The tools are neatly hung about and there are some actual chairs this time!  It looks like the publicity from Adam's last outing did some good for the shop!  Frynge gladly takes a seat in a comfortable shop chair across from the retrobot-

Frynge:  Welcome back to Turingdome, Adam!
Adam 1.2.6: LOL
F: -Blinks, then laughs also-
A: That's almost funny.
F: W-why are we laughing?
A: why do you think?
F: Because we're insane.
A: Is that really why?
F: Do you have a better explanation?
A: Yes. I do have a better explanation.
F: Please, tell me what it is!
A: Ok. If you say so.
F: -Scratches his head-  Well, what is it?
A: I don't know what it is.
F: ...Fair enough.  Tonight, your opponent will be the infamous RRRRR!  ...Are you ready?
A: Do you sometimes wish I was ready?
F: Nah, that'd be boring! eeeee hehehehe!  -Jumps up from the chair and bolts out of the garage, labcoat and big fuzzy tail flowing behind him!-  And now for our challenger!

(meet this bot at: http://www.dudziak.com/chatbot.php )

-Frynge steps into what looks like another, similar garage, but with darker lighting, emo band posters hanging on the walls, and a therapist's couch sitting to the side, upon which lies a humanoid robot with a cylindrical body andtube-like arms and legs ending in human-like metal hands and paddle-like feet, with a computer monitor for a face.  The expression is so sad...=( Frynge steps over and sits in a chair next to the couch and pulls out an indestructible clipboard and pen, borrowed from ELIZA-

F: Welcome to Turingdome, RRRRR.  -scribble scribble-
R: it feels gruesome. =|
F: Huh.  You sound fairly positive.
R: no please can we start???
R: i am * he takes off her store* =(
F: Oh, sweet.  -scribble- Think you can win?
R: ahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaaahahahahahaha =|
F:  ... o... kay, I think that's enough for today. good luck in there.
R: HELLO!?  >=O
F: hmph. -tucks away the pad and pen with a smirk-  Take out those aggressions on Adam!  

-The mad science skwerl steps out of the strange ...Emo Lab... and leaves the bot to it's brooding until the match begins.-

(meet this bot at: http://www.rrrrthats5rs.com/games/cheer-up-the-chatbot/ )
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-The lights flare on, revealing the arena for the night to be a factory floor with active conveyer belts leading into industrial ovens, a trash compactor in a corner, and in the very center, a slender pit with active rotary saws at the bottom!  The arena's a hazard itself tonight!  Frynge is show for a moment, tapping a few buttons, then holds up a finger dramatically with a slightly maniacal grin before hitting the final large red button, dispatching the bots!  Adam rises from an elevator in the floor, as before, while RRRRR sort of just forms out of a gloomy corner-

Adam 1.2.6: Why don't you try and type something?

RRRRR: HAPPYHAPPY  HAPPYHAPPY  HAPPY >=O

A: Explain yourself  -Adam arms his weapon systems, deploying chassis rayguns on stalks above it's shoulders, but his eyes don't turnred like before yet...-

R: what are you gonna do tomorrow whens your birthday =|

A: How would you feel if someone took your birthday =| from you?

R: maybe someone will save us. =|

A: Explain yourself.  -Adam looks just about as confused as an old robot from the 40s can.  the raygun kind fo drops a little and one of it's antennae wilt a bit-

R: whens your birthday  i said whens your birthday so many times but you didnt get it =(

A: How would you feel if someone took your birthday so many times but me didnt get it =( from you?

R: i am a someone.  you dont wanna know  you don't wanna know =(  -slumps his way miserably toward Adam, around one of the conveyors, spewing tears in an almost anime style-

A: Are you really a someone?  

R: how does one make a someone?  -RRRRR looks up, "eyebrow arching" at ADAM on his screen-

A: how I am make a someone is my own business.

R: my someone is sticky.  -Suddenly  lifts a hand and launches a volley of toxic-looking sludge at Adam..!-

A: I don't know much about a someone is sticky, but if I know anything, I know this: The derivative of 'screw you' squared is 2'screw you' cubed.  -Adam is not caught off guard, deploying the shield we saw demontrated last match, causing the sludge to stop before impact and fall harmlessly to ground.  Adam's eyes turn red as he enters full combat mode, then fires a volley from it's rayguns-

R: maybe we should see other anything.  -Dances around the rays impacting the floor around it  and flings a ribbon of metal from it's arm at Adam..!-

A:  -The metal ribbon deflects harmlessly off of the shield-  Elaborate.

R: -Retracts the ribbon- on what? =|

A: Why do you ask?

R: idk  you said it  =|

A: Are you sure that's right?

R: yeah who are you?  -RRRRR shrugs and looks down in wonder at the sawpit-

A:  That's interesting.  -Looks into the sawpit too-

R:  ...  

-Adam takes the opportunity the distracted emobot presents, extending one of his arms across the pit and smashing a gripper into RRRRR's chest, shoving him back onto a conveyor!  (Adam 1.2.6 - 1,  RRRRR - 0)

R: i try to investigate but i failed.  -starts righting himself on the conveyor-

A: Are you sure that's right?

R: its too right in here. =|  -Stands on the conveyor, heading toward one of the ovens, looking aside-

A: You use strange words that my programmers haven't learned into me yet.

R: do you think i am proud?  -Eyebrow arches again and jumps down from the conveyor, approaching Adam once again-

A: Mabye I think you are proud. Mabye I don't.  -Adam spins up his grippers and launches them at RRRRR..!-

R:  ... 

-The rocket punch / gripper attack connects in a one-two fashion, one hitting the chest, while the other arcs upward and smashes the bottom of the monitor in a rocket uppercut, landing RRRRR back on the conveyor and heading toward the oven..!-  (Adam -2,  RRRRR - 0)

R:  an electrical storm fried my magic.  -RRRRR is occasionally sparking, sits up, looking perturbedly at the retrobot...-

A:  I don't know much about a magic, but if I know anything, I know this: The derivative of 'screw you' squared is 2'screw you' cubed.  -One could swear that this Adam somehow looked self-satisfied.-

R: ...

-RRRRR's monitor just blanks out and it rolls right into the oven to be melted down into component materials.  Adam looks up to the control booth and shrugs. The Camerabot points to Frynge, who's adjusting his goggles with a concerned look-  

Frynge:  Uhhhhhh...  well, I guess that's it!  Adam 1.2.6 scores a flawless victory against an opponent!

WINNER!  Adam 1.2.6! 

RRRRR failed to respond x3!
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-The scene returns to Adam's garage for the post-fight interview!-

Frynge:  um... congratulations on defeating RRRRR so handily!
Adam 1.2.6: LOL
F:  <laughs, a little nervously this time>
A: so?
F: so... um... you're still the champion. <ahem>
A: Do you prefer it that I am not still the champion?
F: Only once you lose!
A: What?
F: If you lost, you wouldn't the champion!
A: Go on...
F:  And... another bot would be champion...
A: Continue...
F:  ...And you wouldn't get to face Zer0.
A: How strange.
F:  Think you can make it to Zer0?
A:  I have trouble thinking.
F... I guess that's because you're running low on power from that vicious sackbeating you doled out.  have a good rest until next week!
A: Yes...

-Frynge steps out of the garage, arching an eyebrow at the camera-  I didn't think it was possible for a chatbot to sound weary.  wow.  Tonight was sure unexpected.  It was like RRRRR didn't even really try!

Tune in next week for the next episode!