You know, I’m different than other guys. In a lot of ways. Let’s start off small, I guess. Plenty of habits I take for granted might seem surreal to other people. Take, for instance, sleeping. I know plenty of people who can hit the sack and be down in an instant flat, waking up a solid eight hours later with a hearty yawn and heavy energy. Not me, though. I’m one of those night owls who finds excuses to stay up to one, two, even three o’clock in the morning. Even when I do get to bed early, I’m a tosser—a turner. It’s not unusual for me to wake up a couple of times a night. More than once I’ve had to go on a milk raid at four-thirty in the morning.

So yeah. I have weird sleep habits compared to other people. Other stuff that makes me different? Well…