Xe settled in against a block of rough stone, the sands of the Unovan desert shifting underneath her. Once, it would have been unthinkable to sleep like this—roughing it out in the wild, nothing but dirt for a bed and a heavy black coat for a blanket. But that was before… all this.

Somewhere behind her on the far end of the desert was what remained of Castelia City. It was in ruins. The apocalypse had come to Unova, to the world, and here she was—one of three young adults sent by the professor in a vain hope to see it all erased.

Xe thought of herself as a strong person. She tried not to focus on how dire everything seemed. But sometimes, it was impossible for her to fight off those feelings.

She had to be strong. For her pokemon. She couldn’t let them see her like this. She ordered them to range out into the desert, looking for supplies to scavenge or possible safe spots. She didn’t expect them to find anything, but she needed alone time. Her team wasn’t dumb—they read in their trainer’s desire for solitude a level of emotional vulnerability. But as they looked at her with concern, she waved them away. As they left in groups of two or three, she caught the attention of her Roggenrola. Mutual understanding passed through them—he would lead Lea, her Scraggy, as far away as possible. Lea was the most impressionable, the most innocent member of her team; Xe especially didn’t want her Scraggy to see her when she wasn’t strong.

After they were gone, Xe just held herself in her own misery. Shit. It hadn’t hit her this bad in a while. She had to be strong. But how could she be? Cities were abandoned, the world was doomed, and both of her friends were missing. Bianca’s Munna, Muni, had joined Xe temporarily; Bianca had basically just vanished off the face of the earth. Xe vigorously rubbed her face with her hands. What if they never found Bianca again? Would she just take Muni? How would the pokemon handle it?

A light touch on her thigh made her yelp and she tensed. But it was only her oldest and most stalwart partner—Biz. The Dewott looked up at her with concern. Despite everything, Xe smiled down at him. He knew her better than anyone—he’d technically been the professor’s pokemon until recently, but Xe had been the one to play with him and train him in the years before their journey had started. If she would be okay with any of her team seeing her like this, it would be Biz.

She let the Dewott slink into her lap, laughing as he did so. “You’re not an Oshawott anymore, Biz,” she said. “You’re getting a bit too big for that.” He chuffed good-naturedly in response and leaned in close against her. Xe settled back, her spine against the stone, Biz’s comfortable weight resting on her. She could feel the tenor of his breath—rise and fall, up and down, over and over again. It was soft; soothing. She couldn’t help but match tempo with him, the slower breaths helping to calm her.

“Look at me,” she chided herself. “Supposed to be the rock for my pokemon, but here you are, comforting me.” Biz chuffed again, looking up at her, and then reached up one blue-furred paw to caress Xe’s cheek. She leaned into it with a sigh. This sort of tactile, physical closeness… even with a pokemon, it helped calm one down immensely. “I guess you’re right, Biz,” she said. “I’m getting upset over things I can’t control.”

They rested like that for minutes, Biz’s weight and warmth settling comfortingly into her, his paw still holding her cheek as she leaned into it. Xe’s eyes were half-lidded. It was approaching dusk, now; the time when the desert was neither scorching nor frigid, those rare hours where it was actually comfortable to be there. Biz was looking at her with concern.

“I know, Biz,” she said. “I know.”

The Dewott let out a trilling cry and then leaned his head up to hers inquisitively. Xe laughed. “Biz,” she said, “you really are a sweetheart. If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think you were—”

Her voice left her with a mrp as her pokemon gently touched his lips to hers. The gesture was soft, tender, almost frightened—as if Biz was unsure what he was doing was alright, worried he’d overstepped his bounds. Xe couldn’t help but think of how she’d planned to end that sentence: I’d almost think you were trying to kiss me.

The way their lips touched was so soft, so feathery, it was chaste in its own way; a mere tentative brushing. Looking back, Xe found that objectively, it had to have only lasted a few seconds; well under half a minute at most. Yet at the time, it seemed to stretch on forever. The intimacy, the safety, the security of such a gesture from her most trusted pokemon was unexpected, and yet… Xe found she didn’t mind it. In fact, she liked the touch of Biz’s kiss. It set butterflies in her stomach, make sensations shiver their way up her arms and down the back of her neck.

When Biz, looking abashed, went to pull back, now it was Xe’s turn to reach up a hand to his head. “Wait,” she breathed. Biz met her gaze, both their eyes wide—and then he allowed her to pull him back in for another kiss.