Experimentation 4

Raphael spent the whole day training. The morning had been spent lifting weights, the afternoon punching, kicking and unfortunately breaking training dummies. Raph did the same thing the day before. And the day before that. 

Leo was worried.

At first he’d thought Raph was angry because of the punishment Splinter meted out to him and Donatello after they went out without telling anyone and got themselves in trouble with the Foot. They’d been trapped in a building, Don had said. With only one way out.  It had taken them a long time to escape.

“If you do not tell us where you go then we cannot come to your aid if things go wrong!” Splinter was quietly angry, his anger a result of his anxiety. 

Splinter, Leo and Mike had been out a whole day searching for Raph and Don before they’d returned, bruised, beaten and very subdued.

“What happened to your Shell Cells?” Leo asked.

Neither of his brothers answered. They listened silently to Splinter’s lecture. They didn’t elaborate on where they’d been and they left as soon as Splinter allowed it. Raph went straight to his room, Don to the bathroom. Raph didn’t emerge until the next day when he went for a run around the sewers before beginning his obsessive exercising. Don spent a couple of hours in the bathroom, Mike knocked after an hour to check on him only to get an uncharacteristically loud and angry barrage of curses and demands to leave him alone.

“Yikes.” Mike looked over at Leo who frowned and rubbed his head.

“I’ll try and talk to them tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Mike gave a nod, figuring he would too. 

Why would they be so angry? Even though both of his brothers were being very quiet, he knew they were angry. Mike was sure of it. Don was naturally quiet, but he was never subdued. Raph was quiet when he was being moody. Which Mike had to concede was at least sixty percent of the time. But this was different. Something was definitely wrong.

After three days neither Raph nor Don would talk. Leo had gone to Donatello first.  Don was pretty open and usually quite happy to talk about any issues, so Leo was taken aback all the more by Donny’s cold monosyllabic answers, which eventually culminated in Don politely but firmly telling Leo there wasn’t a problem and to leave him alone. He didn’t fare any better with Raph.

“There’s no problem. I’m training.”

“You’re breaking everything.” Leo looked up at the one remaining punch bag that Raph was pummeling. “What will you do when that breaks?”

“I don’t fucking know. Punch you?”

“Real mature.” Leo rolled his eyes then frowned down at the broken dummies. They broke fairly often and Don usually fixed them. Sometimes Leo. Occasionally Raph. With Mike it was always “yeah dude, I’ll do it later” and someone else ended up doing it instead. Leo had never noticed that before. He would have to put a stop to it. But not yet. Perhaps this was a good opportunity to get Don out of his shell again. Metaphorically speaking.

Leo turned on his heel and headed over to Don’s lab but the smartest turtle wasn’t in there. Leo headed off to the garage and found Donny at the workbench in the corner. He wasn’t working, he just stood with his hands on it staring off into the distance. 

But Donny’s expression wasn’t serene. 

Leo had never seen such a tortured expression on his brother’s face before. Leo’s insides twisted. The look on Don’s face pained him. Something terrible troubled his younger brother and Leo ached to help him.

“Hey Donny.”

Don snapped out of it, he glanced at Leo, gave a quiet greeting and then began messing with his tools, pulling out a wrench before sliding under the Battle Shell. 
Leo gazed down at his brother’s feet. Asking if he wanted to talk was obviously still very much out of the question. Don didn’t seem to be doing any work under there. He’d gone under for the sole purpose of avoiding Leo.

“I need your help bro. Raph’s breaking the training equipment faster than I can repair it. Will you give me a hand?”

Don didn’t reply.

“Donny, can you hear me under there?”

“Ask Mike.”

“I will. But it’ll take three of us.”

There was a long silence. Leo still looked down at Don’s feet, as though a movement of his toes would somehow give him some clue as to what Donatello was thinking. 

Leo sighed and leant against the vehicle. “Well, I suppose I could ask Raph to stop.” He gave a grim smile. “But I thought I’d choose the easier option.”

“Leave Raph alone.” Don’s voice was muffled, then he slowly rolled out from under the van. He didn’t look at Leo, his eyes were fixed towards the ceiling. Leo realized right then that neither of his brothers had given him eye contact for three days. Leo’s concern for his brothers was gnawing at him.

“What happened to the two of you?” Leo murmured, it escaped his lips before he could stop himself and regretted it as soon as he said it. For a moment Donatello looked as though he was about to retreat back underneath the Battle Shell, but he didn’t.

“I told you.” Don stood , looking around, avoiding Leo’s eyes. “We went to the scrap yard but ran into the Foot and got trapped.”

Leo touched Don’s shoulder and gently stroked his hand down his brother’s arm in what he meant to be a gesture of reassurance. Don yanked his arm away and glowered at Leo. Eye contact at last. But not the happy kind. Don snatched up his tool kit and an armful of wood.

“If you want help fixing the dummies then carry the rest of that wood.”

Leo followed Don back to the main part of the lair and watched him put down his toolkit and take out a hammer. Raph paused for a moment and the two turtles exchanged looks before carrying on with their activities. Leo sucked on his bottom lip. Don and Raph had barely spoken, but they weren’t hostile towards each other. Leo had thought they were avoiding each other because they’d had some kind of massive bust up, but perhaps not. Don and Raph were always doing their own thing anyway, the time they spent apart wasn’t exactly unusual. 

“Mikey,” Leo tapped Michelangelo’s head. “We need help fixing the training equipment.”

“Later dude. I’m at level fifty five and rising fast,” Mikey held up his controller pad.

“Now Mike.”

“Raph’s the one breaking them. Let Raph fix them.”

“Don’t make me take that from you,” Leo frowned.

Mike glanced at him then quickly went into the menu and saved his game. Leo was wearing  *that* expression. There was no point trying to argue with him.

Donatello hammered a new wooden stand in place on the first training dummy, reinforcing it with a few more planks before moving onto the next. Mike sat beside him patching up a burst punch bag. He was terrible at sewing. They all were. Don watched him absently for a moment before switching his attention to Leo. Leonardo re-padded another punch bag as he watched Raph, Don’s eyes were also drawn to their stronger brother just as the rope attached to the final punch bag snapped and thudded to the floor. 

Raph wiped sweat out of his eyes and avoided Leo’s eyes, his eyes met Don’s instead. Those big, soft brown eyes. Always gentle, even in battle.

The two brothers shared a gaze for a moment before both glanced guiltily away. Don went back to hammering at another dummy’s arms, fixing them back to the body. He hammered a little too hard, splitting the wood, but strangely Don didn’t notice and carried on.

“Jeez, take it easy bro.” Mike caught Don’s arm. “I’ll swap. You patch this up.”

Don shook his head quickly pulling his arm away as though it was on fire and reorganized the wood, fixing two split parts together to support another dummy.

Raph longed to pull Donny to him in a tight hug and tell him how sorry he was but he knew it wouldn’t help. Or at least he didn’t feel that it would help any. They’d already apologized so many times to each other. How often could you apologize for raping someone before it was okay? 

Not often enough, because it was never okay. 

Don shifted uncomfortably as he crouched, he was unable to repress a wince of pain. Raph knew he’d be hurting. Raph’s ass was sore from all the fucking. Donny’s would be too. Donny’s would be worse. Raph had been rough. And then Don had been taken by the alien too… 

Both boys hid the pain from their father and brothers as much as they could but it was difficult. It wouldn’t be long until Leo noticed. Raph was surprised that Leo hadn’t already noticed. He was watching them both like a hawk waiting for the right moment to talk. Little did Leo know that this time there would never be a right moment. Maybe Leo was so focused on trying to read their emotions that he wasn’t noticing the physical signs. Or maybe he’d noticed but assumed any pained expressions were the result of injuries from fighting. The reality would never enter Leo’s head.

Splinter entered the room and glanced at the smashed equipment without comment. He carried an envelope that he’d picked up from the building above their home.

“You have mail, Donatello.”

“Ooh what is it?” Mike leaned in close, forcing Don to shuffle away from him.

Don opened the envelope. “It’s just medical supplies I ordered for us from a website.”

“Oh.” Mikey went back to sewing the punch bag and making a hash of it.

Don stood and made his way to his lab, once in the doorway he glanced back. He wanted Raph to look, but not Leo. Unfortunately they both looked over at him. Don figured he’d have catch Raph later. He locked the door then quickly tore the medication out of the packaging. A few tubes of nitroglycerin ointment. Don had researched on the internet what best to do about his injuries, there really wasn’t any other option. He squeezed a generous amount of the cream onto a finger, rested his hand on his desk and gingerly pushed his finger into his anus. It hurt. Don gave a sob. It wasn’t easy stuff to apply. He pulled his finger out and put some more on, trying again. It really was painful. After a few more attempts Don gave up and hid the opened tube in the back of a drawer underneath some project notes. Notes too dull and boring to ever interest Mike or Leo.

After washing his hands he returned to his brothers. Raph had already smashed a mended dummy and was attacking another. Mike threw his hands up in annoyance and went back to his video game. 

“Train with me Raph.” Leo offered.

Raph paused and glanced across at Leo, he looked back at the training dummy and gave it a solid punch, breaking it in two.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

Leo folded his arms and raised an eye ridge. “Oh really?” He answered good-naturedly. “Full of yourself much?”

Raph frowned at the floor. “I’m going for a run.” 

Leonardo couldn’t help be a little surprised by Raph’s refusal to accept his challenge.

“Not tonight Raphael,” Splinter’s voice piped up.

“But…!”

“Do not argue with me my son. It is time you took a break.”

Raph glowered over at Splinter, then without a word he ran and jumped up to the level his bedroom was on and slammed his door. Don glanced back at the broken equipment and gave a shrug. He no longer felt like fixing it if Raph didn’t need it.

“You hungry yet?” Mike asked him pointing to a pizza. “If you don’t eat it I’m gonna!” 

Don shook his head. He didn’t want food. Not simply because he didn’t feel like eating but also because he didn’t want to go to the bathroom. He knew the pain would be excruciating and would hinder any healing of the tears and fissures in his backside. If he had to eat it was going to have to be very soft food. Don gazed back up at Raph’s bedroom. Would Raphael even know that?

“You have to eat Don…” Leo began in soft tones.

“Are you going to force feed me?”

“No. Don’t be ridiculous.” 

“Then I don’t have to eat.” Don returned to his lab, picked up one of the unopened tubes of nitroglycerin ointment and made his way up to Raph’s room. He could feel Leo’s and Mike’s eyes on him, but chose to ignore them and knocked at the door.

“Fuck off Leo.”

“It’s Donny.”

Don could hear scrambling and then the door opened to reveal a flustered looking Raphael.

“Oh right. Okay. Are you okay? I mean, how are you? …I know you’re not okay…” Raph voice trailed off.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” Raph opened the door wider and glanced down at Leo, Leo gazed suspiciously up at them. Raph shook his head as he shut the door.

“What’re we gonna tell Leo?” He sighed.

“Just stick to our story about being trapped by the Foot. We’ve covered all the bases. It’ll be fine.”

“I dunno, Donny. This is Leo we’re talking about. He won’t quit. He’s suspicious. And worst of all, he’s worried about us. That makes him extra nosey.”

“Then we need to behave normally.”

“I’m tryin’. I’ll bet you’re tryin’. But we aren’t Donny.”

Don sighed. “I got us some cream from the internet. This one is for you.” He placed the tube in Raph’s hand.

“For…?”

Don shut his eyes. “For where it hurts the most Raph. Do I have to spell it out?”

Raph’s cheeks went a deep red. “Oh yeah. Right. Thanks.” He stared at it blankly. “How do I …uhhh.. never mind… forget I asked. I’ll work it out.”

“It’s not easy.” Don muttered.

Raph stared at Don. He wanted Don to stay and talk to him, but it was suddenly difficult to speak to his brother when it had always been so easy.

“You need to be careful with what you eat.” Don added. “Try not to eat too much. You need to restrict your bowel movements…”

Raph stared. “Urrgh Donny!” He tried to laugh and make light of it.

“It’s not funny Raph, you need to eat soft things. Fiber. Drink a lot of water. Don’t eat as often. It will take weeks to heal.”

“Luckily I don’t feel much like eatin’.” Raph shrugged. “But listen Donny, don’t worry about me so much. When you… when… stuff happened… you weren’t always rough… I don’t think I’m as hurt as you are…” Raph reached out to squeeze Don’s shoulder, but Don flinched away, banging into the wall.

“I have to go.”

“Wait Donny,” Raph wanted to talk more, but he found it difficult to put his thoughts into words. “I’m… sorry… I…”

Don nodded. “I know. I’m sorry too. I’m so sorry for what I did to you.” He tried to smile at Raph but it came out as more of a pained grimace. “I have to go.”

Raph wanted to ask why. But he was afraid of the answer.

“We’re still good. Right Don?” Even after… Raph couldn’t bring himself to say rape. They said it often enough in the alien building. They’d soldiered on in the alien’s office building, referring to the rapes matter of factly, clinically. Now they were home. Safe. It wasn’t so easy.

“Are we?” Don’s velvety brown eyes gazed into Raph’s own and Raph felt his cheeks coloring and getting hot.  His brother was so damn cute, Raph felt he could melt into those big gorgeous eyes.

“Are we?” Don began to look panicked and Raph realized he’d allowed too much silence to fill the void behind Don’s question.

“Yeah. Of course.”

Don’s brow furrowed a little. “Alright. Well. I’ll see you… later… er…” He grasped the door handle and almost tore the door off its hinges in his need to escape from Raph’s room. Don held back tears he didn’t want Raph to see. Don had asked Raph if they were still good and that long pause had told Don everything he needed to know. They weren’t. Raph wasn’t ever going to forgive Don for raping him. Ever.

Leo stood and made his way over as Don passed the living quarters. He could see at a glance how much Don was upset. “Donny?”

“Not now, Leo.”

“What did Raph say to you? Come here… please… we’ve got to talk about th…”

“I said not now!” Don shouted. Angrily. He slammed the door to his lab, then swore. He should have just gone straight to his bedroom and to bed. Now he had to hang out in his lab for who knew how long before Leo went to bed. Don locked the door and took the tube of ointment out of his drawer, trying again to apply it. It was agony. 

Raphael chewed on his bottom lip as he stared at the door. ‘I’m so sorry for what I did to you’ Donny had said. Raph couldn’t help thinking back to what Don had done to him. He’d thought about little else for the last three day. Specifically the time Don had knocked the tender nerves in his ass with his cock. It had been rape then. But at some point, somehow, Raph had begun to want Donny to do that. It was like he was looking at his brother anew. He’d never looked at Don, at any of his brothers, in a sexual way. So where had these new feelings come from? If Donny strode back through the door and told Raph to bend over the bed and prepare for a fucking Raph knew he wouldn’t hesitate. He was quite happy to have sex with Donny again. Forever. If only Donny would be willing. 

Raph sighed and picked up the tube of ointment. Donny, what an angel he was, thinking of Raph even through all his own problems. Raph squeezed a dollop onto his finger and did his best to insert it into his rectum. It was uncomfortable, a little sore, but not too bad. When Donny had raped he’d improvised lube, even his rabid mind had been scientific. Or maybe, Raph smiled to himself, even thoughtful. Perhaps Raph was fooling himself because he had the hots for Donny, but his brother was a thoughtful guy. Who was to say he wouldn’t be thoughtful even when drugged into primal rape mode.

Raph lay back in his hammock and remembered Don tying his arms to his bo. Don had used a lot of spit to lubricate his cock. It had hurt but it could’ve been worse. Raph’s hand went to his swollen member and teased it out of his shell as he remembered the pleasure he’d felt as Donny hit his prostate. Raph had wanted to cum, if Donny hadn’t have cum and pulled out then, then Raph would have.  Raph shut his eyes, he knew he should probably feel a bit ashamed but he didn’t. At all. Raph stroked his hand down his hard cock and gave a contented sigh as he again re-lived all the times Don had fucked him. Right down to the moment his ass had been unable to take anymore and he’d begun to jack Donny off with his feet. Raph held a snapshot in his head of his beautiful, sexy brother sucking on his fingers as he was pleasured. At the same time Raph built up the pressure on his cock. Allowing himself to reach a climax, recalling the expression Donny had on his face when he came. Raph groaned and flung his head back, breathing heavily as his cum spurted from his cock. Fuck, Donny had the cutest little cum face. Raph shut his eyes and breathed out slowly, rolling his head to the side. He opened his eyes and gazed at the family photo on his wall, fixing his gaze on Donatello.

“Donny,” he murmured. “I fucking want you.”