June's Diary
“Evolving relationships”

It's amazing how quickly the new becomes the 'new normal,' then segues into just normal.  Our days are spent in the lab; half the time I'm astounded at how Eric has worked with this equipment without blowing himself up into a greasy stain on the wall, half the time I'm marveling at the wondrous concoctions he's made or is close to perfecting.  We are so busy getting me up to speed, there isn't even time for hanky panky.  (Well, we do get some hanky panky in, and even a little spanky, but we do it in the break room, away from all the chemicals and such that could kill us if we got careless and knocked the wrong bottle over.)  Evenings are for passion,  unless I'm dancing that night.  Yes, I'm still dancing,  and Eric still visits the club, usually on the same night.  He said he'd support me no matter what choices I made, and he's living up to that promise.  When a john requests me for a private dance, Eric just smiles and raises his his glass to me as we head to the back room, probably because he knows who's going to see my face in the morning.

That's not to say he obsesses over me at the club, he's still being the "kindly pervy uncle" to the girls, although now he makes sure to ask my permission before he goes farther than heavy petting with them.  Every. Single. Time.  He knows I won't get jealous,  but he continues the ritual from our post-wedding swinger party, he's probably waiting for me to state clearly and unambiguously that he's free to to whatever and whomever he wants without needing my approval each time, like I am with him.  I'll tell him those words, someday, for now it's such fun watching him beg.

Weekends are fun, that's when his cousins come over and they practice for their gigs as a garage band, or as they call it, a "tribute band."  They're good, don't get me wrong,  but a tribute band plays as a knockoff of a professional band, like Knights in White Satin doing only Moody Blues hits, or that all-midget band, Little Kiss, who only cover Kiss songs.  Their band, Darwyn, plays songs from all over the place, often following the themes of evolution/transformation, as fitting for a band named after Charles Darwin, birds/flying, appropriate since the band is an eagle, two woodpeckers and a firefird, and 'mad science,' pretty much a given, since the male lead vocalist is a 'professional alchemist' in his day job; but they have as many if not more songs in their setlist that don't fit any of the themes, simply because they like the original artist, or they just like the song.

The cousins are an interesting group, only two of them are actually related to Eric, the third is a childhood friend they treat like family.  The woodpeckers, Wanda and Sylvia Eichenbohrer, are always fun to be around.  Wanda plays the calm, cool, collected, 'strong female role model' bit well, although she does enjoy her share, if not more, of dirty jokes.  Sylvia, the younger sister, seems to waver between 'party girl' and 'id/libido personified.'  Seriously,  you do not want to make an off color comment around her frivolously,  she's likely to take it literally and seriously, and then you'll be searching for your pants half an hour later.  Ashley Fenix completes this little troupe, carrying herself like exiled royalty as the self-proclaimed 'only sane bird' in the band, at least in public.  In private she still acts as a mediator of sorts, trying to tone down Sylvia's excitability while at the same time egging on Wanda to loosen up.

As I said, they're actually good for a garage band, they get paying gigs and they've got the skills to go professional if they worked at it, but for them, it's all about making music and having fun, enjoying the 'sex, drugs and rock&roll' lifestyle without catching something horrible from the sex (they have a select few 'groupies' they enjoy themselves with), or destroying themselves with the drugs (the 'professional alchemist' makes sure to brew up safe alternatives to the usual mix of 'rocker candy').  They all play several instruments and take various roles, depending on the song, but their 'default' setup is Eric on lead guitar and male vocals, Ashley on backup guitar and aria queen, Wanda on bass guitar and 'rough' female vocals (she may not be able to get the high, clear notes like Ashley, but that woodpecker can BELT!), and finally Sylvia on drums and 'teen'/'bubblegum pop' female lyrics.  I tried out for the band, but I don't know how to play any instruments,  and as for my singing, it apparently inspired Sylvia to try and peck her way through the drywall, right where a stud was.  The odd thing about that was that she looks like she was pecking with her forehead instead of her beak.  After the audition was declared 'less than successful,' we all decided that I was best suited for the role of a groupie.

Their performances can run the range from 'tame enough for a Church social' to 'can they actually get away with doing that on stage?'  It turns out you can tell what sort of performance they're planning by the tickets.  They use a sliding scale of 'all ages' / '13 and up' / '18 and up' / '21 and up' / 'adults only' / 'invitation only.'  From 'all ages' to '21 and up' the performances are pretty straightforward, with the only differences being the song selection, the maximum volume of the speaker wall, and the 'sultriness' of the costumes.  Once you get to the 'adults only' level, then things start to get seriously wild.  Partial or total nudity on stage, drum solos where Sylvia is beating the drums with fluorescent dildos, alchemy-fueled on-stage transformations, you never know what is going to happen.  The 'invitation only' concerts can be a mixed bag, they use that when there are special restrictions,  such as being a member of the country club they're playing at.  There was one 'invitation only' concert I remember well; the performance itself was 'all ages,' but the whole band was stark naked, as was the audience.  That was also my first trip to a nudist colony, I've always been embarrassed about my 'assets' being looked down on as 'too blatantly sexual' for such a place, but surprisingly, everyone was cool about it, well, except for Sylvia, but I was expecting some crass remark from her.  It was actually rather witty, first time I heard the phrase 'Hindenboobs.'

There are other styles of 'invitation only' concerts they do, but what goes on in there stays behind the Non Disclosure Agreement you need to sign to get the  tickets.   Trust me, those concerts are worth the NDA.... ;)