Do Unknown Dinosaurs Roam Furcadia?

Author's Note: Originally published in the October 4, 2006 issue of now-defunct humor webmagazine The Muskrat as a satire about "thesaurus thumpers", players who wrote character descriptions which were hard to understand thanks to the overuse of synonyms, many of which were made up or improperly used.

By Drancron

Duckburg, Calisota (FP) – According to one feline scientist, a number of previously unknown dinosaurs may be alive and well in Furcadia.
	Beav Sherwin, one of Furcadia's leading anthrozoologists and an enthusiast of bars and their patrons, revealed this week a controversial possibility: more dinosaurs are rampant in Furcadia than previously believed.  According to Sherwin’s article in an upcoming issue of the Cryptid Nuthatchery newsletter, a presently unrecognized ancient dinosaur species escaped the planet-wide disaster which wiped out 50 to 80 percent of all animal life 65 million years ago.  This species evolved over time into its modern form which Sherwin describes as a "small, rectangular body, looking not unlike a book".   She has dubbed this creature a "thesaurus".
	Sherwin allegedly came to this conclusion after a chance encounter in Furrabian Nights.  While searching for a popular dream for further research, Sherwin accidentally stepped in a number of big words making up what she originally thought to be someone's description.  Closer study convinced Sherwin she had discovered the droppings of what she now believes is a Thesaurus rogeti.
	Her conclusions have met with skepticism from her colleagues, including dragon Dr. Vel O'Cyraptor, who suggested Sherwin take a long vacation with some fine furres wearing white uniforms.  According to O'Cyraptor, furres should "take this supposed discovery with a beachball-sized grain of salt."  O'Cyraptor further cited several earlier claims made by Sherwin, all describing "questionable species" ranging from puce fish to naked-mole rat/monkey hybrids.
	Sherwin encourages interested furres to look for what appear to be descriptions filled with big-worded synonyms for everyday terms, poorly placed in their context.  If any are found, she can be reached through the White-Coated Furres.

(© 2008-2013 Marvin E. Fuller)