CAPT. DESTINY – WOLF OF MYSTERY
ANIMATION PILOT SCRIPT
C 1999, Mark Barnard/Studio FlashCat

SCENE ONE – ESTABLISHING SHOT

MORNING OF A SUNNY DAY ON A TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED WORLD, SOMEWHERE IN THE HEART OF A LARGE CITY.

AN IMPOSING, TAPERING GLASS OFFICE TOWER, SEEN FROM A LOW POV THROUGH SCATTERED TREETOPS. THE CAMERA BEGINS ZOOMING IN AS IT PANS UP TOWARDS THE UPPER FLOORS.

SUPERIMPOSED TITLE:

AMALGAMATED PLANETARY UNDERWRITING
PLANET NEW EARTH

TRENT (VOICE-OVER): …AND I’M TELLING YOU, GENTLEMEN. THIS IS THE FINAL STRAW. WE CAN’T AFFORD FOR ANYTHING TO HAPPEN, WITH THE MEDIA FROM A DOZEN MAJOR WORLDS COVERING THE EVENT!

SCENE TWO – INTERIOR OF THE INSURANCE FIRM’S OFFICE

CUT TO INTERIOR OF A SPRAWLING OFFICE. STANDING TO ONE SIDE, GESTICULATING BROADLY, IS TRENT, THE PRESIDENT AND C.E.O. OF THE AMALGAMATED PLANETARY UNDERWRITING COMPANY – ONE OF THE LARGEST INSURANCE COMBINES IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE.

AT THE MOMENT, HE’S VENTING TO SEVERAL SILENT UNDERLINGS. TRENT IS A PARTICULARLY MASSIVE FELINE, EXPENSIVELY DRESSED. UNDERNEATH, HOWEVER, HE’S TOUGH AS NAILS AND EXTREMELY TICKED.

TRENT CROSSES TO DESK AND GRABS UP A HANDFUL OF NEWSPAPERS PILED ON THE EDGE OF THE DESKTOP. HE BRANDISHES THESE.

TRENT: "MYSTERIOUS VIGILANTE DESTROYS COCKTAIL LOUNGE.” “NEW SPACEPORT IN RUINS.”  “UNIVERSAL GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCES CLOSURE OF POSTAL NETWORK, PENDING INVESTIGATION OF MYSTERIOUS RAID.”

TRENT: LOOK AT THESE HEADLINES! AND WHO DO YOU THINK WAS CARRYING THE INSURANCE ON THESE BUSINESSES? THIS…CAPED LUNATIC IS SINGLE HANDEDLY DESTROYING US!

ASH, A NERVOUS FERRET, RISES, WAVING PLACATING HANDS.

ASH: NOW, NOW, J.T.!

TRENT (ROUNDING ON THE SPEAKER): AND ARE WE VOLUNTEERING TO OVERSEE THIS OPERATION, MR. ASH?

ASH (GOING PALE – AS MUCH AS IS POSSIBLE, AT LEAST, CONSIDERING THE FUR): NO-NO, SIR!

TRENT (RETURNING HIS ATTENTION TO THE GROUP): THEN LET ME MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR. THERE WILL BE NO TROUBLE INVOLVED IN THIS CRUISE.

CUT TO A CLOSE-UP SHOT OF AN ANGRY CAT MAKING A POINT.

TRENT (GROWLING): JUST TO MAKE SURE, I’LL BE ABOARD THAT SHIP. LET’S SEE THIS KOOKBALL MAKE TROUBLE WITH OUR SECURITY PEOPLE ON HAND.

SCENE THREE – EXTERIOR OF MONSTER WORLD

EXTERIOR SHOT, SPACE. CENTERED IN THE SHOT AND SLOWLY BECOMING DOMINANT IS MONSTER WORLD – A LARGE JUMBLE OF INTERCONNECTING SPHERES (DIMENSIONAL EVENTS) CLUSTERS AROUND A ROUND, CENTRAL BODY. MAKE THE OVERALL THING TRANSPARENT? THE SPHERES PASS THROUGH EACH OTHER AT SPOTS.

AS THE CAMERA CONTINUES ITS ZOOM IN, WE SEE TWO FLATTENED METAL DOMES LINKED BY A SHORT CONDUIT/CORRIDOR, SQUATTING AGAINST THE ROUGH SURFACE OF THE CENTRAL SPHERE.

SUPERIMPOSED TITLE:

MONSTER WORLD
6:45 AM

SCENE FOUR – SAWYER WAKES/INTERIOR

INTERIOR OF THE STRUCTURE. CLOSE SHOT OF A RATHER AVERAGE NIGHTSTAND WITH SOME SORT OF VAGUELY FREEFORM ALARM CLOCK SQUATTING ON IT. A THIN METAL ROD WITH AN OVAL SWELLING AT THE TOP PROJECTS ABOVE THE CLOCK.

AS IF ON CUE, WE HEAR THE JARRING SOUND OF A KLAXON, AND A DAZZLING BLUE LIGHT BLINKS OUT OF THE LIGHT HOUSING ABOVE THE CLOCK.

A HAND COVERED IN SHORT, PALE GOLDEN FUR GROPES INTO THE SHOT FROM SCENE LEFT, MANAGEING TO TURN OFF THE OBNOXIOUS DEVICE AFTER A FEW POORLY PLACED SLAPS. SAWYER’S NEVER AT HIS BEST IN THE MORNING, BUT THEY STILL KEEP COMING.

TO THE SOUND OF SOMEONE SMACKING HIS LIPS, THE STILL UNSEEN SAWYER GETS UP. A GARISH ROBE’S FISHED OFF THE BACK OF A CHAIR, AND IS TUGGED DOWN OVER ONE STUBBY, UPRAISED ARM.

SCENE FIVE – HALLWAY/TRANSITION

INTERIOR SHOT DOWN AN ORDINARY HALLWAY (POSSIBLY YELLOW WALLPAPER WITH SOME SORT OF FLOWERS?). A SLIDING DOOR WITH A CONTROL BOX ON THE WALL BESIDE IT IS AT THE FAR END OF THE CORRIDOR (CAMERA TILTS SLIGHTLY TO EACH SIDE, AS THE OTTER AUDIBLY SHUFFLES DOWN THE HALLWAY?).

SAWYER (MUTTERING): ‘GET THE ‘PAPER, SAWYER! I’LL COOK BREAKFAST. YOU DO THE EASY PART.'

SAWYER (REACHING THE END OF THE CORRIDOR): MAN, I HATE ‘PAPER WEEK!

SAWYER’S RIGHT HAND REACHES INTO THE SCENE FROM STAGE RIGHT AND PUNCHES A BUTTON ON THE CONTROL HOUSING MARKED ‘DOOR OPEN.’

SCENE SIX – FIRST CONFRONTATION/LOCAL WILDLIFE

EXTERIOR SHOT FROM A HIGH POV. WE SEE SAWYER, A DISHEVELED OTTER IN A SLIGHTLY OVERSIZED BATHROBE STEPPING OUT ONTO THE DOORSTEP. HE GLANCES FROM SIDE TO SIDE AS HE TENTATIVELY LEANS OVER TO SCOOP UP A ROLLED NEWSPAPER DEPOSITED NEATLY IN THE CENTER OF THE LOW, BROAD STOOP.

POSSIBLY A FEW STRAY WISPS OF SMOKE PASSING ACROSS THE SCENE FROM ‘HIGHER UP’? EVEN AT HIGH NOON, MONSTER WORLD TENDS TO BE A BIT MURKY, WITH THE VOLCANIC ACTIVITY AND ALL. IT’S ALSO FAIRLY FAR FROM THE LOCAL SUN, BEING PLACED DELIBERATELY AS FAR AS IS REASONABLY POSSIBLE FROM THE USUAL SHIPPING LANES.

SAWYER  (WITH GUARDED OPTIMISM): SO FAR, SO GOOD…

SOUND EFFECT (NOT A GOOD SIGN):

RUUUUMMMMMBLE.

CLOSE-UP OF THE OTTER’S FACE AS HE LOOKS STRAIGHT AT THE CAMERA. HIS FACE SLOWLY TILES UP AS HIS VISION TRACKS UP ALONG SOMETHING WE CAN’T SEE. EVIDENTLY IT’S SOMETHING VERY TALL…

EXTERIOR SHOT, LOW PERSPECTIVE. SAWYER AT EXTREME SCENE LEFT. THE AREA BEYOND THE DOORSTEP IS A DULL, FORBODING LANDSCAPE – DARK, WITH SEVERAL ACTIVE VOLCANOS IN THE DISTANCE.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, TO THE OTTER’S WAY OF THINKING, IS THE ENORMOUS REPTILE TOWERING OVER HIM. ITS’ MASSIVE TAIL FLICKS AND IT GIVES ANOTHER  LOW AND DECIDEDLY WICKED PURR…

SAWYER (UNDER HIS BREATH BUT WITH FEELING): UH-oh!

SCENE SEVEN – TRANSITION TO KITCHEN/INTERIOR

SWITCH TO INTERIOR VIEW AS SAWYER SWINGS BACK INSIDE AND SLAMS THE DOOR BEHIND HIM. HE LEANS BACK AGAINST THE DOOR AND ROLLS HIS EYES.

SAWYER: JEEZ! CONGRATULATIONS, SAWYER, OLD BOY. WELCOME TO ANOTHER HAPPY DAY IN PARADISE!

SAWYER STARTS BACK DOWN THE HALL.

SAWYER (GLOWERING): NEXT TIME, I  MAKE THE EGGS!

HE CONTINUES, UNROLLING THE NEWSPAPER TO SCAN THE HEADLINES. HE READS IN A DRONE, WITH ONLY A FEW KEY WORDS BECOMING CLEAR.

SAWYER: BuzzbuzzbuzzDERANGED VIGILANTEbuzzbuzzUNTOLD PROPERTY DAMAGEbuzzbuzzINSURANCE COMPANIES CALL FOR THE USE OF LETHAL FORCEbuzzbuzzBOUNTY OFFERED…

SAWYER REROLLS THE NEWSPAPER AND JAMS IT INTO THE POCKET OF HIS ROBE.

SAWYER: GREAT! JUST BUSINESS AS USUAL AROUND HERE! NOW, IF I CAN JUST KEEP DESTINY AWAY FROM THE TELESCREEN AND CONVINCE HIM THAT THE ‘PAPER HASN’T COME…!

SHOOTING DOWN THE HALL FROM FRONT. THE OTTER CONTINUES TO SHUFFLE DISMALLY FORWARD.

SAWYER (CONTINUING): …MAYBE WE CAN LIE LOW UNTIL THE SYSTEM GOVERNMENT IS A LITTLE LESS TESTY.

 AS SAWYER APPROACHES THE CAMERA, AN ELDERLY FELINE IN A LAB COAT CROSSES FROM ONE SIDE DOOR, TO OPEN ANOTHER. SEVERAL THICK TENTACLES LASH OUT THROUGH THE OPENED DOORWAY. ORPHEUS SLAMS THE DOOR SHUT JUST IN TIME TO AVOID BEING GRABBED.

SAWYER (UNIMPRESSED): ‘MORNING, PROFESSOR.

ORPHEUS (ABSENTLY): GOOD MORNING, SAWYER. THE BATHROOM SEEMS TO BE…ER…OCCUPIED, JUST NOW.

SAWYER (NO SURPRISES HERE): MMM.

SCENE EIGHT – THE KITCHEN

SAWYER ENTERS AT SCENE RIGHT. IN THE BACKGROUND, SKREFF – A PALE GREENISH, SPONGELIKE HUMANOID – IS GINGERLY STIRRING SOMETHING ON THE STOVE WITH AN EXTREMELY LONG HANDLED SPOON.

THE KITCHEN IS ANOTHER WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE SLICE OF ‘50S SIT-COM LIFE. PALE GREEN TILE WALLS, EVERYTHING VAGUELY SPARCE. A TOASTER COZY TOPPED WITH A PERKY, SCULPTED CHICKEN HANDLE SQUATS AT ONE CORNER OF THE TABLE. A LARGE PITCHER OF ORANGE JUICE AND SEVERAL GLASSES ARE AT ONE SIDE OF THE TABLETOP. THERE’S ALSO A LARGE PLATE STACKED HIGH WITH SCORCHED TOAST. EVIDENTLY BREAKFAST ISN’T ONE OF SKREFF’S STRONG POINTS. THEN AGAIN, WHAT IS?

SAWYER DROPS INTO A SEAT AT THE BREAKFAST NOOK, AND HELPS HIMSELF TO A SWIG OF JUICE. HE’S VISIBLE AGITATED, AS DESTINY HASN’T YET MADE AN APPEARANCE. DESTINY’S APPEARANCES CAN BE A BIT DISTURBING, BEING OCCASIONALLY DRIVEN BY HIS EGO OR HIS MISGUIDED BELIEF THAT HE HAS ASTOUNDING NINJA POWERS.

SAWYER GLANCES OFER AT SKREFF, FUSSING AT THE STOVE, AND VISIBLY MAKING AN EFFORT TO STAY AWAY FROM THE FLAMES. SPONGES BURN EASILY.

SAWYER (CASUALLY): SO, WHERE’S NUT BOY?

SKREFF (MOMENTARILY DROPPING HIS GUARD AGAINST THE WICKED TRICKS OF THE STOVE): YOU MEAN THE CAPTAIN? CHECKING THE CELLAR FOR EVIL, I THINK. HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT BEING ABLE TO HEAR HIS ENEMIES PLOTTING ALL NIGHT.

SAWYER (ROLLING HIS EYES): WHEN’S HE GOING TO GIVE UP AND GET A REAL JOB?

SKREFF (FISTS ON HIS HIPS, WHICH BRINGS ONE ELBOW UNFORTUNATELY NEAR THE STOVE. IT IGNITES.): YOU SHOULD COMPLAIN! YESTERDAY HE DECIDED THE SOLAR AVENGER NEEDED WASHING.

SAWYER (UNIMPRESSED): SO?

SKREFF: WE WERE OUT OF SPONGES. ALMOST. WASN’T IT ‘A GOOD THING I WAS THERE’?

SAWYER: WELL, I’M GIVING US A LITTLE VACATION. KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE PANTRY.

SKREFF (NOTICING HE’S BURNING AND SWATTING THE FLAMES OUT): OW! (UNDER HIS BREATH) DAMN, I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!

SKREFF (GLANCING UP AT THE OTTER, WHO’S IDLY RUNNING ONE FINGERTIP AROUND THE RIM OF HIS GLASS): WHY?

SAWYER: I’LL EXPLAIN LATER. SOUNDS LIKE HE’S COMING. REMEMBER: ACT SURPRISED TO SEE HIM.

DESTINY ENTERS THE SCENE AT A STEALTHY CREEP, FULLY VISIBLE. ONE BULKY ARM IS RAISED TO HOLD THE TRAILING EDGE OF HIS MINUTE HALF CAPE UP ACROSS THE LOWER PORTION OF HIS FACE. NARROWED EYES DART ABOUT OVER THE SCRAP OF WHITE FABRIC, TAKING IN THE SURROUNDINGS FOR ANY POSSIBLY SIGNS OF LURKING EVIL. EVIDENTLY THE BASEMENT WAS DISAPPOINTINGLY FREE OF THE WICKED STUFF.

THE WOLF DROPS INTO THE FREE SEAT AT THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE TABLE AND DROPS THE CAPE INSTANTLY (TO HIS MIND) BECOMING VISIBLE. SAWYER UTTERS A LITTLE MOAN AND HIS SHOULDERS SAG. IT’S CLEARLY GOING TO BE ANOTHER OF THOSE DAYS.

DESTINY (BOUYANTLY): DON’T BE AFRAID, SAWYER. IT’S ONLY ME! I’VE BEEN CHECKING OUT THE HOUSE FOR EVIL. INVISIBLY OF COURSE…

SHOT OF SAWYER, FETCHING A PIECE OF BADLY BURNED TOAST OFF THE NEARBY PLATE STACKED WITH THEM.

SAWYER:  RIGHT. FIND ANY?

DESTINY (LOOKING THOUGHFUL – EVIDENTLY THIS ‘THINKING’ STUFF IS TOUGH WORK): NOPE. IT MUST’VE HEARD ME COMING AND FLED IN TERROR.

PICKS UP A KNIFE AND A PIECE OF TOAST, AND MANAGES TO DEFTLY DROP A LARGE GLOB OF JAM IN HIS LAP. DEFEATRED, HE TOSSES THE OFFENDING TOAST AWAY.

DESTINY (CONVERSATIONALLY): EVIL'S LIKE THAT. IS THE MORNING ‘PAPER HERE YET?

SAWYER (VISIBLE FLUSTERED): ER, NO. GOSH, THAT MAKES THREE WEEKS RUNNING. I’VE REALLY GOT TO HAVE A WORD WITH THAT ‘PAPER BOY!

DESTINY (EYES NARROWING THOUGHTFULLY): I SENSE…CONSPIRACY! POSSIBLY SOME SINISTER NEW PLOT BY MY MANY ENEMIES TO HALT MY CRUSADE AGAINST CRIME!

SAWYER (SHRUGGING INNOCENTLY): YEAH, RIGHT. WELL, WITHOUT A ‘PAPER, AND WITH THE TUBE ON THE FRITZ, WE CAN’T GET ANY LEADS TO INVESTIGATE. GUESS WE’LL JUST STAY HOME. POTTER AROUND. MAYBE HANG A FEW PICTURES…

DESTINY (THIS ALL SOUNDS JUST A LITTLE DULL): WELL, COULDN’T WE JUST CRUISE AROUND A LITTLE? LOOKING FOR EVIL, I MEAN? SOMETIMES A MAN JUST NEEDS TO KICK BACK, ROLL DOWN THE TOP AND CRUISE THE COSMOS, GIVING THE LITTLE PEOPLE A THRILL!

SAWYER (UNDER HIS BREATH): AND BLOWING UP THEIR CHIEF FOOD WAREHOUSE WASN’T A THRILL? ANOTHER WORLD WE CAN’T EVER RETURN TO…

SAWYER : EVIL WILL WAIT. I’VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK WITH YOU. COULDN’T WE, LIKE, MOVE OR SOMETHING? I MEAN, IT’S A LITTLE DANGEROUS HERE.

DESTINY (FLASHING A MADDENING, CLUELESS GRIN): NONSENSE! MONSTER WORLD IS THE PERFECT ESCAPE FROM MY FOES! NOBODY WOULD LOOK FOR ME HERE!

SAWYER (ANNOYED AND UNDER HIS BREATH): ONLY BECAUSE NOBODY IN HIS RIGHT MIND WOULD COME HERE…

DESTINY (LEANING INTO SAWYER’S FACE): BUT ENOUGH OF THIS LIGHT BANTER! NO PROBLEM IF YOU DON’T WANNA’ CRUISE!  LOOK WHAT I’VE GOT!

THE DELIGHTED WOLF CLEARLY HAS ‘GOOD NEWS.’ HE BRIGHTLY EXTENDS ONE HAND, WHICH IS HOLDING A SOMEWHAT SLOPPY, DRIPPING REMOTE CONTROL. SAWYER IS VISIBLY DISTURBED AT THIS REVELATION.

SAWYER (NUMBLY): THE REMOTE.  (PAUSE) GEE, WHERE’D YOU FIND IT?

DESTINY: YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE IT (CHECKS THE KITCHEN AGAIN FOR LURKING BEFORE CONTINUING, FROM BEHIND A SHIELDING HAND). I WAS UP ON MIDNIGHT HOUSE PATROL, AND STOPPED BY THE KITCHEN FOR A LITTLE SNACK. (HUSHED) IT WAS IN THE PEANUT BUTTER JAR!

SIGNIFICANT PAUSE, AS SAWYER FIDGETS SLIGHTLY.

SAWYER (UNCOMFORTABLY): HEH. NOW, HOW’D IT GET IN THERE?

DESTINY (EXTREMELY SERIOUSLY): I WAS UP MOST OF THE NIGHT, WORKING THAT ONE OUT. I BLAME…EVIL.

SAWYER (WELL, IT’S A WAY OUT…): GEE, WHAT A SURPRISE.

DESTINY (WARMING TO THE IDEA): RIGHT! OBVIOUSLY ONE OF MY ARCH FOES DECIDED TO KEEP ME FROM FOLLOWING THE CRIME NEWS. PROBABLY HAS SOME BIG CRIME PLANNED. WELL, WE’RE TOO CLEVER TO FALL FOR THAT, EH, LITTLE CHUM?

SAWYER (HOPEFULLY): M-MAYBE IT WON’T WORK? IT LOOKS KIND OF NASTY…

DESTINY (HAPPILY): NOPE. I SPENT AN HOUR WORKING IT OVER WITH A TOOTHBRUSH! COME ON, SAWYER! LET’S CATCH SOME NEWS!

DESTINY SWITCHES ON THE TELESCREEN – A PANEL SCREEN MOUNTER HIGH IN THE FAR WALL. SAWYER UNWILLINGLY TURNS TO REGARD THE NEWSCASTER, WHO’S ENDING A RAUCOUS AND POINTLESS LAUGHING FIT HE’S BEEN SHARING WITH HIS CO-ANCHOR.

ANNOUNCER: …HAHAHAHAHAA! ISN’T THAT ALWAYS THE WAY WITH KIDS, SARA? GIVE ‘EM A TERMONUCLEAR DEVICE AND THEY’VE JUST GOT TO SEE WHAT IT’LL DO. WE WISH ‘EM WELL. AND NOW ON TO THE SOCIETY NEWS…

DESTINY (SCOWLING): DRAT! JUST MISSED THE GOOD STUFF!

SAWYER (SLIGHTLY STEPPING ON THE LINE IN HIS EAGERNESS TO DISTRACT THE WOLF): WELL, TOO BAD. LET’S GET ROLLING ON THOSE PICTURES…

DESTINY (WIDE-EYED): WAIT!

SAWYER (BEWILDERED): WHAT?

THE SCREEN FEATURES A WIDE SHOT OF A LUXURIOUSLY APPOINTED SPACE LINER, FRONTED BY A THRONG OF PERFECTLY DRESSED ELITE.

ANNOUNCER: AND TODAY MARKS THE MAIDEN VOYAGE OF THE HYPERION, THE NEW LUXURY SPACE LINER. THE SHIP’S MAIDEN VOYAGE, BEGUN FOUR HOURS AGO, WILL TAKE THE CRUISER AND HER EXCLUSIVE GUESTS TO THREE DOZEN WORLDS ON THIS INAUGURAL CRUISE.

DESTINY (OFF ON ONE OF HIS LITTLE TANGENTS): THAT’S IT! THERE’S NO TIME TO LOSE!

DESTINY LUNGES TO HIS FEET, UPSETTING THE PITCHER OF ORANGE JUICE BEFORE HIM. HE GRABS SKREFF WITH ONE HAND. THE SPONGE MAN HAS BEEN WRAPPING A HUGE COIL OF BANDAGES AROUND THE SINGED ELBOW. DESTINY GRABS FOR THE RECOILING SAWYER WITH HIS FREE HAND.

DESTINY (TUGGING SAWYER TO HIS FEET): SKREFF! SAWYER! PROF. ORPHEUS!

PAUSE AS HE STANDS TALL, LOOKING PARTICULARLY NOBLE AND CLUTCHING SKREFF AND SAWYER TO HIS SIDES. HE HAS A DRAMATIC ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.

DESTINY (DRAMATICALLY): TO THE SOLAR AVENGER! WE-HAVE-EVIL-TO-FIGHT!

SLIGHT PAUSE, THE THREE HOLDING THE POSE.

SAWYER (CASUALLY): YOUR FLY IS OPEN.

DESTINY (CRESTFALLEN BUT STILL HOLDING HIS MAJESTIC POSE): OH.

SCENE NINE – THE BAD GUYS

EXTERIOR SHOT OF A BROKEN DOWN, BUT STILL TOKENLY ACTIVE AMUSEMENT PARK ON A WHARF OVERLOOKING SOME LARGE BODY OF WATER. THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON A WEATHERED, SHABBY WAREHOUSE.

VOICE OVER (CAREFREE, THE RAT HENCHMAN): BOSS? YOU SURE THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA?

CUT TO THE INSIDE OF THE WAREHOUSE, PILED HIGH WITH BOXES – MOST CLEARLY LABELLED ‘CONTRABAND.’ IN THE FOREGROUND, AT ONE SIDE OF THE FRAME, SOMETHING LARGE AND SHADOWY IS STRUGGLING TO ADJUST ITSELF.

REVERSE SHOT, REVEALING AN EXTREMELY MUSCULAR, BULKY BULL FUSSING A CURLY BLONDE WIG DOWN OVER THE TOP OF HIS HEAD. IT IS NOT A GOOD FIT.

THEN AGAIN, NEITHER IS THE PAINFULLY TIGHT PINK DRESS SPOTTED WITH LARGE WHITE POLKA DOTS THAT HE’S GOT ON. THE BULL SURRENDERS THE IDEA OF GETTING THE WIG PERFECTLY ADJUSTED AND CASTS A CRITICAL EYE AT THE NYLON-CLAD LEG SHOWING THROUGH A WICKED SLIT IN THE SIDE OF THE SKIRT.

DURANGO: SURE IT IS. THE SHIP’LL BE FULL OF DEBUTANTS. WHO’LL NOTICE ONE MORE? (PAUSE) DAMN, I GOT A RUN!

THE HENCHMEN, A SMALLER, SEEDY LOOKING BULL AND A MANGY RAT, REGARDING DURANGO, WHO’S VISIBLE AS A SHADOW MOVING ACROSS THE BOXES BEHIND THEM, WITH DISCOMFORT. THE CORNERS OF THEIR MOUTHS TWITCHING REFLEXIVELY?

CAREFREE (UNDER HIS BREATH): MAN! I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE THIS DESPERATE!

PIT BULL (THE SMALLER BOVINE): ER, BOSS? W-WHAT IF SOMEONE SEES US?! I MEAN…WE COULD GET  DRUMMED OUT'A THE VILLAIN’S GUILD -- YOU LOOKIN’ LIKE THAT AND ALL. THAT'S SOME DISGUISE, BY THE WAY...

PIT BULL (CONTINUING UNEASILY): ...BUT MOST PEOPLE AREN'T GONNA' UNDERSTAND!

DURANGO (PRIMPING IN FRONT OF A CRACKED MIRROR BALANCED ON ANOTHER CRATE – HE EVIDENTLY LIKES THE WAY HE LOOKS – WHICH IS WORRISOME): DISGUISE? RIGHT. (PAUSE) NOT ONCE I PULL OFF THIS CAPER. WITH ALL THE MONEY AN’ JEWELS WE’RE GOING TO HARVEST OFF THAT LINER, WE CAN BUY THE GUILD!

DURANGO STRAIGHTENS, PICKING UP A TINY PURSE AND A FRILLY, SPINDLY PARASOL. HE BATS LONG, OBVIOUSLY FALSE EYELASHES.

DURANGO: DAMN, I LOOK GOOD! NOW COME ON. WE GOT US A SPACESHIP TO CATCH!

SCENE TEN – EXTERIOR OF THE PARK

THE TRIO EMERGE THROUGH THE BROAD DOORWAY OF THE WAREHOUSE, DURANGO CONFIDENTLY IN THE LEAD. SLINKING SLIGHTLY BEHIND, POSSIBLY WITH THEIR COLLARS UP AGAINST THE GLANCES OF ANYONE WHO MIGHT ASSOCIATE THEM WITH THE ODD FIGURE.

SHIFT TO LONG SHOT OF THE TRIO. TO SCENE LEFT, IN THE FOREGROUND IS A VENDOR WITH A HOT FOOD CART, LOUDLY HAWKING HIS WARES.

VENDOR: RED HOTS! PICKLES! CHEESEBURGERS!

CUT TO PIT BULL, WHO GOES NUTS AT THAT LAST BIT, AND STARTS FOR THE VENDOR, HIS BURLY ARMS FLAILING WILDLY. THE RAT HENCHMAN, CAREFREE, HOLDS HIM BACK.

PIT BULL: WHY YOU DIRTY..!!!

CAREFREE: HEY! IX-NAY! WE DON'T WANNA' ATTRACT ATTENTION! NOT WITH THE BOSS LIKE...THIS. TAKE A COOL DOWN! NOT EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE IS OUT TO MAKE A MEAL OF YOU.

PIT BULL (BEGINNING TO RECOVER HIS COMPOSURE): Y-YOU REALLY THINK SO? YOU MEAN IT?

CAREFREE (TO PIT BULL, BUT SWITCHES TO THE VENDOR): 'COURSE NOT. (PAUSE) HEY, MAC. I’LL TAKE TWO CBS WITH RELISH!

PIT BULL STIFFENS AND STARES AT HIM WITH WIDE OPEN, SHOCKED EYES. THE CAMERA TRACKS AWAY FROM THEM, STOPPING AS IT COMES ‘ACROSS’ DURANGO’S SHOULDER, TO FREEZE ON HIS FACE. HE’S FACING FRONT, AWAY FROM THE SQUABBLERS, LOOKING ROYALLY TICKED AND INTENT.

DURANGO (A LOW, LETHAL RUMBLE): IF YOU TWO’VE FINISHED YOUR LUNCH ARRANGEMENTS, I’D LIKE TO GET GOING. I WANNA’ GET THIS JOB FINISHED BEFORE THAT NUT, DESTINY  SHOWS UP.

SCENE ELEVEN – EXTRIOR/SPACE

THE SOLAR AVENGER APPROACHING THROUGH SPACE, DEFTLY SIDESHIFTING TO MISS THE OCCASIONAL CHUNK OF FLOATING SPACE ROCK. THE SCENE ROTATES SO THAT IT’S SEEN AS APPROACHING THE LINER, STILL SOME DISTANCE OFF.

SAWYER (VOICE OVER): I’M NOT SO SURE THIS IS A GOOD IDEA…!

CUT TO INTERIOR OF THE SHIP’S CONTROL ROOM. SAWYER’S SITTING AT THE CONTROLS, SLIGHTLY HUNCHED TO ONE SIDE AS THE HULKING WOLF IS STANDING AT HIS SIDE, EAGERLY LEANING OVER THE CONTROLS AND STARING OUT INOT SPACE.

DESTINY: NONSENSE! THE ONLY WAY TO COMBAT EVIL IS TO MEET IT HEAD ON. WE ZOOM IN ON THE SHIP, GUNS BLASTING! WHEN IT STOPS, WE CHARGE ABOARD AND DO SOME EVIL WHACKING!

SAWYER (IRRITATED): NOW, TRY TO FOLLOW ME ON THIS. THERE’S THIS THING CALLED ‘TACT.’ THERE ARE IMPORTANT PEOPLE ABOARD THAT SHIP. IF YOU GO LEAPING IN THERE, GUNS A-BLAZING, YOU’RE JUST GOING TO GET YOUR HEROIC BUTT TOSSED INTO A PADDED CELL.

DESTINY (GENUINELY PUZZLED, AND TRYING TO THINK THIS OUT): SOOO….YOU’RE SAYING…?

SAWYER (SLAPS HIS FOREHEAD): I’M SAYING THAT IF YOU HAVE TO GO LOOK FOR EVIL, WE SHOULD BE AS INCONSPICUOUS AS POSSIBLE. NO GUNS, NO CHARGING AROUND!

DESTINY LOOKS BLANK AND VASTLY UNCONVINCED.

SAWYER (CLEARLY GOING TO HAVE TO STEP THIS DOWN ANOTHER LEVEL): OH, ALL RIGHT. "IF WE JUST CHARGE IN, WE’LL SCARE THE EVIL AWAY!: NOW  DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!!

DESTINY (BRIGHTENING – HERE’S SOMETHING HIS ONE BRAIN CELL CAN WORK WITH): OH, I GET IT. YOU’RE SAYING WE’LL NEED TO RELY ON MY MASTERFUL SKILLS OF DISGUISE! WELL, FEAR NOT, LITTLE PARTNER. I’M UP TO THE JOB!

HE PAUSES.

DESTINY: ONLY, ONCE WE’VE FOUND THE EVIL, CAN I WHOMP IT JUST A LITTLE?

SAWYER (SIGHING): SURE, SPORT. WHATEVER YOU SAY. NOW, HOLD ON. I‘M GOING TO DOCK THE SHIP UNDER THEIR STERN. THERE SHOULD BE A SECONDARY CARGO HATCH THERE THAT WE CAN GET IN THROUGH. SKREFF, YOU AND THE DOC STAY ABOARD, IN CASE WE HAVE TO MAKE A QUICK EXIT. (PAUSE) AGAIN.

SCENE TWELVE – ABOARD THE LINER

MOVE IN THROUGH A FESTIVE, WELL-DRESSED CROWD, POV HIGH. THE CAMERA ENDS UP CLOSE IN ON THE CAPTAIN, WEARING AN IMMACULATE UNIFORM AND VISIBLY TRYING TO PRY HIMSELF AWAY FROM A LARGE AND ANNOYINGLY LOUD FEMALE. IT’S ACTUALLY DURANGO, RELAXED AND CERTAIN THAT NOBODY COULD PENETRATE HIS DISGUISE. HAVING ONLY A VAGUE IDEA OF WHAT CONSTITUTES SOCIETY, HE’S ALSO CERTAIN HE’S FITTING IN SEAMLESSLY.

DURANGO: WHY, CAPTAIN,YOU WICKED THING! STILL. IF YOU INSIST ON SHOWING ME THE PURSER’S OFFICE AND THE SHIP’S BIG, NASTY OLD SAFE, HOW CAN I RESIST? I AM BUT A MERE WISP OF A GIRL.

CAPTAIN: CHOKE!

DURANGO (CONTINUING): I ONLY HOPE THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE IN MIND!

CAPTAIN (HORRIFIED AND DESPERATE TO ESCAPE): P-POSSIBLY LATER. RIGHT NOW I HAVE THINGS TO DO! ALONE! LOCKED IN THE BRIDGE!

DURANGO (TURNS TO A DISINTERESTED PASSERBY): THE DEAR CAPTAIN’S GOING TO GIVE ME A TOUR OF THE SHIP!

THE CAPTAIN IS VISIBLE IN THE BACKGROUND, WIDE EYED AND VIOLENTLY SHAKING HIS HEAD.

DURANGO LOOKS PAST THE PASSENGER AND HIS EYES WIDEN AT SOMETHING HE SEES.

DURANGO: OH, HELL.

CUT TO THE CAPTAIN AND SAWYER SHOULDERING THROUGH THE CROWD. SAWYER'S IN THE LEAD AND ISN’T, FOR THE MOMENT, KEEPING TABS ON HIS COMPANION. SAWYER’S TRYING TO LOOK AS IF HE BELONGS THERE, THOUGH HE ISN’T DRESSED FORMALLY. DESTINY’S WEARING HIS USUAL RED AND SILVER GET-UP WITH THE LITTLE WHITE CAPE.

SAWYER (IN AN UNDERTONE): NOW, WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T ATTRACT ATTENTION.  WE’RE JUST GONING TO MAKE A QUICK CHECK FOR EVIL AND THEN HEAD HOME. YOU PROMISED!

DESTINY (SERIOUS AND MOMENTARILY" INVISIBLE"): RIGHT!

SAWYER BECOMES PAINFULLY AWARE THAT THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM ARE STARING WITH RAPT ATTENTION. HE TAKES A HESITANT LOOK BACK AT DESTINY. THE WOLF IS AGAIN HOLDING THE SCRAP OF CLOAK UP TO HIDE THE LOWER PART OF HIS FACE. SAWYER’S EYES GLAZE SLIGHTLY.

SAWYER (DISTURBED): WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!??

DESTINY (IN HUSHED TONES): EMPLOYING ONE OF MY MANY MYSTIC POWERS! NOTHING’S MORE INCONSPICUOUS THAN ‘INVISIBLE,’ RIGHT?

SAWYER (IN REAL PAIN AT THIS POINT): UM, MAYBE THAT’S JUST A SMIDGE TOO INCONSPICUOUS. CAN WE PLEASE LOSE IT?

DESTINY (INSTANTLY CLUTCHING AT THE WRONG STRAW): OH, I GET YOU. SAVE THE BIG GUNS FOR LATER, HUH? HOLD ON A SECOND. I’VE GOT THE PERFECT DISGUISE.

DUCKS MOMENTARILY BEHIND ONE OF THE CLOSE-PACKED PASSENGERS, THEN EMERGES DRESSED IN A GLARING RED AND YELLOW HAWAIIAN PATTERNED SHIRT AND DARK GLASSES. NEEDLESS TO SAY, HE STICKS OUT IN THE FORMALLY ATTIRED CROWD LIKE A SORE THUMB...

DESTINY: JUST…ONE OF THE JET SET ON A PLEASURE CRUISE. SMOOOTH!

SAWYER (MUTTERING FURIOUSLY): OH, ALL-POWERFUL LORDS OF THE UNIVERSE, ALL I PRAY FOR IS A QUICK DEATH. AND IF YOU CAN’T BOTHER WITH ME, TAKE HIM…

SCENE THIRTEEN – THE CHASE

MEANWHILE, DURANGO HAS  IN A SNIT. BEING ONLY SLIGHTLY LESS CLUELESS THAN THE DELUSIONAL DESTINY, HE’S SURE THE WOLF HAS STUMBLED ACROSS HIS PAN TO LOOT THE LINER’S SAFE. WITH A LOUD BAWL, HE WHEELS AND POUNDS THROUGH THE CROWD, STREWING HIGH SOCIETY IN HIS WAKE. SAWYER HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO SPOT HIM.

SAWYER (PAINED):  OH, NO! WHAT'S HE DOING HERE...?!?

DESTINY IS INSTANTLY BACK IN HIS HERO GEAR AND IS LEANING FORWARD OVER SAWYER TO GLARE AFTER THE DEPARTING FELON.

DESTINY (ALL STEELY EYED MENACE AND SPOILING FOR A GOOD FIGHT): A-HAAA! THE DURANGO KID! I KNEW I SCENTED EVIL! COME ON, SAWYER! WE’VE GOT A SHIP TO SAVE!

IN THE MEANTIME, DURANGO’S PICIKING UP SPEED, MOVING SURPRISINGLY FAST CONSIDERING HIS GET-UP. CAREFREE (STILL IN HIS USAL THREADBARE CLOTHES) IS BUSY MAKING SMALL TAKE WITH A CONSIDERABLY MORE ELEGANT FEMALE RAT, AS DURANGO PASSES AND SCOOPS HIM UP.

CAREFREE (WITH OILY INSINCERITY): …AND SO I SAYS TO THE COUNTESS, EVER MADE IT WITH A DECK HAND?

DURANGO (SHORTLY): NO, AND SHE ISN’T GOING TO. ‘SCUSE US, MA’AM. WE’VE GOT COMPANY!

CAREFREE:  AWW, BOSS! NOO!!!

FRONTAL VIEW AS THE CHARGING BULL TIPS SEVERAL TABLES STACKED HIGH WITH GLASSES AND OTHER PARTY ITEMS.

CLOSE-UP OF TRENT, WHIRLING AND GLOWERING. HE SPOTS DESTINY, WITH SAWYER IN TOW, BEHIND THE FLEEING KID.

TRENT (AT A ROAR – HE’D ANTICIPATED THIS): IT’S THAT IDIOT! BRING HIM DOWN. MEN. THERE’S A THOUSAND TO THE ONE WHO BAGS HIM!

A HANDFUL OF CHARACTERS IN DARK SUITS WHO HAD BEEN MILLING ABOUT IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION ABRUPTLY WHIRL, DRAWING VERY LARGE WEAPONS WHICH THEY POINT AT THE CAMERA.

THE KID, WIDE-EYED AND BACKING OFF. HE ASSUMES THIS IS ALL DIRECTED AT HIM. DURANGO AND HIS HENCHMEN DIVE OVER THE RAIL, TO A LOWER DECK, HEADING FOR THEIR SHIP.

DURANGO (LOSING IT): WHOA! ABANDON SHIP! HEAD FOR THE HILLS, BOYS!

DESTINY HAULS UP AT THE RAIL, LOOKING OVER IT AFTER THE DEPARTING FELONS, THEN LEANS ON THE RAIL AND ADDRESSED THE GUN WIELDING SECURITY MEN.

DESTINY: DARN! GOT AWAY AGAIN! ALWAYS A...SLIPPERY FOE. WELL, IN THE LONG RANGE, I GUESS ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT EVIL GOT THWACKED.

DESTINY: NICE WORK, GENTLEMEN. AS ONE CHAMPION OF JUSTICE TO…ERR…A BUNCH OF OTHERS, I’D JUT LIKE TO SAY THANKS FOR LENDING A HAND. NO THAT I REALLY NEEDED IT, OF COURSE…

THE GROUP OPEN FIRE GAIN, SENDING A TORRENT OF SHELLS AROUND THE WOLF AND THE OTTER, WHO’S HAD THE GOOD SENSE TO DUCK BEHIND HIM. LARGE CHUNKS OF THE SHIP SPRAY WILDLY AS THE SHELLS HIT WIDE OF THEIR MARK.

DESTINY (ONLY SLIGHTLY FLUSTERED): YOU KNOW, PROPER GUN SAFETY SAYS YOU SHOULD ALWAYS LEAVE THE SAFETY ON WHEN TOU’RE THROUGH USING YOUR GUN.

SAWYER (YELLING): RUN, YOU IDIOT!

CUT TO A NARROW PASSAGEWAY BETWEEN TWO SUPERSTRUCTURES. AS A HAIL OF SHELLS BLAZE PAST THE NOUTH OF THIS OPENING, SAWYER AND THE CAPTAIN DART INTO IT.

DESTINY (TROUBLED): YOU KNOW, SAWYER. MAYBE THERE’S BEEN SOME SORT OF MISUNDERSTANDING. A LOT OF PEOPLE SEEM TO SHOOT AT US WHENEVER WE ARRIVE ON THE SCENE. OBVIOUSLY A CARELESS OVERSIGHT, BUT STILL…

SAWYER (BORDERING ON FRANTIC): WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD?! YOU ARE NOT POULAR WITH THESE PEOPLE!!

DESTINY: BUT I’M THE ENEMY OF ALL EVIL! POOR MISGUIDED SOULS. THEIR MINDS MUST HAVE BEEN POSSESSED BY EVIL. SOME OF THE DURANGO KID’S HANDIWORK, NO DOUBT...THE FIEND!

SAWYER: JUDGING BY THE WAY THEY’RE SHOOTING UP THE SHIP, THEY SHOULD BE RUNNING OUT OF BULLETS SOON. I DON’T THINK WE SHOULD HANG AROUND TO SEE HOW LONG THAT TAKES.

DESTINY: A STRATEGIC RETREAT? GOOD PLAN, LITTLE PAL. THEY, WHEN THEY LEAST EXPECT IT, WE SWEEP BACK AND NAIL ‘EM! I LIKE IT!

THE PAIR VANISH THROUGH A DARKENED HATCHWAY, DESTINY’S SHOULDERS SKIPPING DOWN INTO THE SHADOWS AS HE FOLLOWS SAWYER DOWN, TOWARD THE WAITING SOLAR AVENGE

SCENE FOURTEEN – WRAP-UP

MEANWHILE ON THE UPPER DECK, A DISCONCERTED TRASK FINDS HIMSELF BEING CROWDED BY A GROWING THRONG OF UNHAPPY PASSENGERS AND CREW.

TWO-SHOT FROM LOW POV, OF THE CAPTAIN SHAKING THE FELINE BY HIS COLLAR. TRENT RAISES HIS HANDS IN PROTEST.

CAPTAIN: THIS…CARNAGE IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

CLOSE-UP OF TRENT.

TRENT: NOW, NOW. I ADMIT IT LOOKS BAD, BUT NO REAL, LASTING HARM HAS BEEN DONE…!

WIDEN THE TWO-SHOT SHOT TO REVEAL ONE OF THE TOWERING SUPERSTRUCTURES CRUMBLING DOWN ON ITSELF, UNDERMINED BY THE FIREPOWER LOOSED AFTER THE FLEEING DUO.

REVERSE SHOT OF THE TWO, THE CAPTAIN LOOKING BACK OVER HIS SHOULDER AS THE TOWER VANISHES BEHIND THE LINE OF CABINS BEFORE WHICH THEY’RE STANDING.

CLOSE SHOT OF AN ANGRY TRENT.

CAPTAIN (OFF-SCENE): ‘NO DAMAGE?!!’ THEY’LL HAVE TO SCRAP THE SHIP, AND PAY TO GET THE PASSENGERS HOME. THE COSTS WILL RUN INTO THE MILLIONS!!

TRENT (GLARING DAGGERS AT THE CAMERA AND THINKING): THAT’S IT! THAT MANIAC HAS GONE TOO FAR!

SHIFT TO A SCENE OF THE SHIP FROM SOME DISTANCE. THE SOLAR AVENGER IS SWEEPING AWAY FROM THE CRIPPLED LINER, HEADING FOR THE CAMERA, AS TRENT’S THOUGHT CONCLUDES…

TRENT: FROM HERE ON OUT, IT’S ALL-OUT WAR!

……………………………………………………………