(The story behind this is, that an anon got autocorrected from saying Artfriend to Boyfriend. several other anons turned it into a joke and I got the idea to do this.)

>Day Boyfriendu in Equestria.
>More specifically, in Hollow Shades.
>You have just moved into this small town.
>It's really nice, everything's suspended from the trees.
>Kind of like the Swiss Family Robinson's treehouse.
>Your name is Anon.
>More specifically, No.12209516.
>There is apparently a tradition in this town to having screeching contests to compete for mates.
>You are sitting in the small arena watching one such event.
>It hurts your ears, but it's so damn cute, you can't bring yourself to leave.
>Currently, it seems the two bat p0nies, Echo and Midnight, are competing against each other.
>You think someone mentioned they were sisters.
>Sibling rivalry, much?

>You muse to yourself over this culture, recalling that this was one of the only societies in Equestria with a custom such as this.
>You don't recall reading about Pegasi, Earth P0nies, or Unicorns doing this kind of thing.
>Midnight tips over after one of Echo's screeches.
>She falls to the floor.
>Echo bounces around, screeching.
>You assume she won.
>The sound of clapping echoes through the room.
>You look for the source and are shocked to find another human sitting on the far side of the area.
>His green skin.
>That featureless face.
>That suave looking suit.
>You blush and watch him from afar.
>It's been so long since you saw another human.
>You stand and start walking towards him.
>He looks up at you as you approach.
>"Ah, you must be the new guy in town. Anon, right?"
>You nod.
"Specifically, No.12209516."
>He smiles.
>You get butterflies in your stomach.
>Oh god, you think you're going to puke.
>"My name's Anon. Or rather, No.12209186. You can call me Eighty-Six though."
[spoiler]"Y-you too."[/spoiler]
>You're killing yourself as soon as possible.
>The height of the village should allow a switch death if you jump.
>Eighty-Six laughs and pats you on the shoulder as he stands.
>"You're alright, Sixteen."
>A nickname.
>Your heart skips a beat and you blush.
>"You must be hungry, though. It's almost dinner time around here."
>You nod and follow him as he leads you to a large dining hall.
>In there, three tables span an enormous room.
>Bat p0nies fill the room.
>One table has small animals strewn about it.
>Another has nothing but fruits.
>And the third...
>Oh god, are they eating bugs?
>What the fuck is wrong with them?!
>You are shocked and appalled.

>Eighty-Six leads you to a smaller table in the corner of the room.
>You sit with him.
>There are meats and fruits piled up in the center of it.
>Meat.
>God you missed meat.
>Eighty-Six smiles at you.
>"It's been so long since I've seen another human. How long have you been in Equestria?"
>You shrug.
"A couple of months, I think. I lost count after the third month."
>He nods contemplatively.
>"Tomorrow marks my third year. It's definitely taking its toll on me."
>He sighs and starts playing with his food.
>"The final screeching matches for my mate are supposed to start tomorrow."
>You raise an eyebrow.
>"You know what they are right?"
"Yeah."
>"Then you know that the winner becomes my mate."
>He rubs his cheek.
>"So far, Echo's decimating the competition, but there are still four more rounds of the competition."
"Anyone can compete in it, right?"
>"Yeah, yeah they can. Why?"
"No reason."
>The two of you eat in silence.
>There's so much you want to tell him about.
>But you can't find words.
>Tomorrow though...

>Day PK Love in Equestria.
>You are Sixteen.
>You're going to fuck these bats up.
>Your opponent screeches.
>You screech back.
>She screeches.
>You do a front roll and screech at her.
>She falls over.
>You stand victorious.
>[spoiler]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pURJDToKA0k[/spoiler]
>Can't stop the rock.
>You can't stop the rock.
>Your next opponent enters the arena.
>Eighty-Six is missing from the audience.
>One of the audience members told you that the mate-to-be was not allowed to be present for the final day of the competition.
>You were going to win this.
>And you were going to surprise Eighty-Six.
>Your opponent screeches.
>You don't notice.
>Weak game.
>You do a backflip, rush your opponent, stop inches from her face.
>You screech.

>The day passes fast.
>You rip the competition to shreds.
>It is now the final round.
>Eighty-Six was going to be so happy.
>Your opponent enters wearing a dark hood and cape.
>The audience goes wild.
>The p0ny removes her garments and screeches to the sky.
>No.
>You saw this one fight on your first day here.
>She was too good.
>This was going to take your all.

>Echo rushes you.
>She clings to your front and screeches directly into your face.
>No!
>You can't deal with this much adorableness!
>You shield your eyes and cover your ears as best as you can.
>You can't take this, so you opt to fall forward and land on top of her.
>She is caught off guard.
>You use this golden opportunity to screech as loud as you can into her ear.
>She screeches back.
>Her screeches die down and she goes quiet.
>She lays there, unmoving.
>Unscreeching.
>A winner is you.
>You might have accidentally crushed a p0ny into nothing, but you won your love.
>And you hoped he would love you back.

>You are Eighty-Six.
>And the screeching outside has stopped.
>It's over.
>And you're about to meet your new mate.
>Chances are it would be Echo.
>That bitch could screech.
>You sigh, disappointed.
>Why couldn't Sixteen have shown up a few weeks earlier?
>You place your head in your hands.
>The door opens.
>You get on the floor.
>You do not walk the dinosaur.
>This is not the time for that nonsense.
>You look up at your new mate.
>And what you see catches you so off-guard.
>Sixteen is standing there, his arms opened wide to you.
>"Anon, I..."
>You jump up into his arms, sobbing happily.
>It was love at first sight, and you knew it would be perfect.
>You cry in his arms as he holds you.
>"Shhh, Eighty-Six. I've got you, bro."