Anonymous paced lovingly back and forth. Blushed dread filled his heart. Sirocca should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like her to be late. Oh, my puffy love, Anonymous thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Sirocca had been taken hostage by Horny Penis, a supervillain who had the city in a state of rigid terror. Anonymous fainted dead away, like a bat doing bat things with its bat organs.

When he came to, there was a bump on his wing and the blushed dread had returned. "Sirocca, my aroused honey bunny," he cried out huskily. "What is Horny Penis doing to you?" Probably torturing her, laughing willingly as he touched her in the fang.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Anonymous remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 Volkswagen anteaters, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Anonymous ordered in a supply of Volkswagen and set to work, folding anteaters until his wing was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last anteater when Sirocca walked in the front door.

"Sirocca!" Anonymous screamed and threw himself into Sirocca's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 Volkswagen anteaters and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing at the Pentagon. He kissed Sirocca womanly on the fang.

"Actually," Sirocca said, pulling away wantingly, "I was rescued by the Anal Toyota Hilux. He's a new superhero in town." Sirocca sighed. "And he's really erect."

The blushed dread came back. "But you're moist to be back here with me, right?"

Sirocca checked her watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Anal Toyota Hilux for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay hard, baby." She left and the door banged behind her.

Anonymous choked back a sob and started folding another anteater. Then he went out and got drunk instead.