>Olden Day in Hollow Shades.
>Live in apartment with Night Watch.
>”Anon, what's that doing there?”
>The batpony points to your cooking utensil.
“Well, I can't go about without my trusty spatula.”
>She doesn't seem to understand.
>”...Why do you carry it about everywhere?”
>She has no idea.
>You sit there with a calm and collected grin.
>”It just seems like a waste of time to me.”
>...That's gone and done it.
“HERESY!”
>The pone leaps backward, her face worried.
“You don't get it!”
>”...You're right, I don't.”
“How dare you insult the spatula, what if there's an emergency only a spatula would be suited for?!”
>You raise a fist.
“I ought to introduce you to Bill,”
>Raise the other.
“and Ben, the Gon-Fuck-You-Up Men!”
>She reaches for her spear beside the coat rack.
>”...Anon, just calm down.”
>Whoa boy.
>Grab the spat'.
>You mumble in tongues; the batpony looks horrified.
>Without warning the spatula grows to the size of a sword.
>A monotone fills the large room.
>”THANK YOU FOR UTILIZING THE SATANIC SPANKING SPATULA 1000. HAVE A NICE DAY.”
“Turn around, Night Watch.”
>Her pupils shrink to dust-size.
>”W-what's going on?”
>Chuckle heartily.
“Time to show you why this spat' is handy in all situations!”
>You hit a part on the wall only you know about.
>A grill appears from it.
>”WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!”
>Square sausages, burger patties and a lot of other meat plops down onto the cooker.
>The spitting of grease arises from it.
>You raise the spatula at the mare.
>Screeches come from her.
>Whistle a hearty tune as you finish the day,
>Spanking and cooking.