>Oh hell what a long day. >You’re standing on the campus of best damn university in the whole world. >The University of Chicago. >Okay so maybe that’s a subjective viewpoint, but still. >It’s only about 3PM, but boy are you worn out. >Prospective student orientation, talks with professors and current students, and an interview have drained you of all your energy. >You think the interview went really nicely though; one of the professors who interviewed you even winked at you when you left. >Does that mean you’ll have to suck his dick before you get in? >Because you’d do it if it meant getting accepted. >Dick sucking aside you need to get home before it gets dark. >Because you really do not want to pass through South Side when it’s dark. >And with that thought you mount your trusty steed and pedal away; because your trusty steed is a bicycle. >After a few minutes of traveling you find yourself passing through one of the less, err, reputable sections of South Side and you begin to notice a bit of commotion. >It starts out slow, but pretty soon nearly everyone who would formerly be sitting around looking like poor downtrodden members of society are now crowded around small television sets, and they all seem to be watching the news. >After passing quite a few of these groups on your route your mind begins to wonder. >What the hell is actually going on? Is it some kind of dramatic domestic affair along the lines of 9/11? >Or maybe this is something more international? Did we finally start directly intervening in Syria? Or did the Russians or Chinese up their support for Assad? >You throw that out of your mind; why would a bunch of poverty stricken blacks care about Syria? >Maybe it’s some kind of celebrity gossip? >No no no something as trivial as that wouldn’t get the attention of literally every group on your route. >Damnit, curiosity has you by the balls. >And so you give in. >You find a slightly less threatening looking group gathered around a television propped up on a plastic table and slowly approach them on your bike. >As you get closer you can see the silhouette of three knives and a handgun scattered throughout the group. >Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. >One notices your approach and taps what looks to be the ‘alpha-male’ on the shoulder. >He turns, sees you, and reaches into his pocket that contains the handgun. >NOPE. >TURN THE BIKE. >TURN IT. >TURN IT FASTER YOU FUCKING SHIT. >Your abrupt attempts at turning the bike reward you. >You fall flat on your face. >FUCK GET BACK ON THE BIKE. >PEDAL. >PEDAL. >PEDAL FASTER. >You can vaguely hear their laughter and cries of ‘cracka’ as you get the hell out of there. >You’re out of eyesight now, but...just goddamnit. >You fucking hate territorial assfucking niggers. >Or anyone like that really; they don’t have to be black. >And so you once again conclude that you’re definitely not racist. >Regardless, as your short adrenaline kick dies down you find yourself curious once more. >And you slowly approach another group. >You are stupid and you will win a Darwin Award one day, but you approach anyway. >Thankfully this group seems to be more accommodating. >A woman from the group pipes up as you get closer. >”What’chu want honkey?” >You quickly respond; surprising yourself with the smoothness of your voice despite the tension you feel from stopping and talking in one of these neighborhoods. “I’ve been coming home from work and I’ve noticed everyone has been watching the news; I was wondering if I could see what had everyone so glued to their TVs.” >You hope lying about being a common working man will help them not be as hostile; you know the University has a reputation as being the ‘white man that keeps the black man down’ around here. >You’ll never know if this particular group adheres to that belief, because they politely clear a little spot for you by the television anyway. >How nice of them. >Now you can finally see what was up with the- what the fucking goddamn what. >The news is going on and on about... >Intelligent talking cartoon horses? >What the fuck? >From what you can gather, these... ‘ponies’ (at least that’s what they apparently refer to themselves as) just showed up on the planet around the time you left from the University. >No word from the Federal or even State governments yet, and reactions from the public have been mixed. >Sporadic violence has been reported, but for the most part people seem to be taking it alright. >Hmm. >Well. >Fuckin’ neat. >You drop a thank you toward the group as they quietly whisper about the situation among themselves once more. >You sit back upon your steed and pedal on home. >As you pedal you wonder if you’ll have a chance to talk to one at some point. >You will sooner than you think.